There's only so much stress the brain can take, and yours has been snowballing for days now. With the horrific tales of Toji's past, and your own insecurities rising within your new relationship, it's a wonder the stress didn't catch up with you sooner. After hours of tossing and turning, you were able to eventually drift off to sleep…Right into a series of repetitive nightmares.
You're in your childhood home. Everything looks exactly the way it did the last time you were there, from the furniture to the clutter on the tabletop. Right away you're aware this can't be real and try commanding yourself to wake up. Your unconscious self tosses in your bed, dreading what's coming next. This isn't the first time you've had this horrible dream. It always leaves you in a shaking sweating mess when you finally wrench yourself from its grip.
Stop it! Stop it!
You fight the images as they unfold one after one. Even knowing this is a hallucination isn't enough to diminish the fear rising up within you. You know what's going to happen next almost as if you're the one directing the dream.
You scream yourself awake. Your sheets are twisted and you're laying sideways across the mattress.
"Fuck!" you swear, chucking your pillow onto the floor in a fit.
Even knowing every detail of that recurring dream does nothing to help you control it. You fold your arms over your knees and squeeze your eyes shut as you steady your nerves, realizing your face is wet. You started crying in your sleep again, like you normally do when you have the nightmare. It's been months since the last time it happened.
There's no way you're going back to sleep now. If you do, you could fall right back where you left off in the nightmare. You sit up right away, your footsteps creaking across the floor as you get out of bed and make your way to the living room.
The rest of the apartment is pitch black. It must be either very late or very early. You can barely make out the shape of Toji lying on the couch and snoozing soundly. He looks so peaceful, it's almost a shame to wake him.
He grunts when you shake him, sounding annoyed.
"Move over," you order him, giving his enormous shoulder a shove to rock him in place.
"Huh? What's going–Oof! Hey! You're too big for this!"
He complains loudly as you force your way onto the couch beside him, half-crushing him on the narrow space that barely fits his own bulk. Without another word you plunk your head down next to him, purposefully much too low to show your face in the street light from the balcony window. He sighs in exasperation but allows this odd behavior from you.
"What's the matter? Nightmares?" Toji shifts so he can place his hand on top of your head. "Wanna talk about it?"
You shake your head. No.
"Must've been one of the bad ones," he comments as he stretches his arms over his head and yawns.
"Wait here. I'll get your medicine. I could use a little myself actually."
You crack a slight smile, already knowing where he's going. There's a book on the shelf that's very different from the rest. It's much lighter because it had been hollowed out. As far as he knows you aren't aware of which one it is, but you've suspected for a while that Toji has never once read Moby Dick. When he returns, there's something in his closed hand. He strides over to the window and pushes it open, motioning for you to join him as he pulls a lighter from his pocket. The two of you can't smoke this on the balcony even at this hour.
"Here you go, kiddo." He offers you the joint as he exhales out the window.
You mutter a thanks and accept it, puffing deeply before passing it back. Weed is a rare thing to come by in this city. You always struggled to get it for yourself while living on the street, but somehow Toji had a connection. He was more strict about this than your tobacco use, usually allowing you to have it only after a nightmare to help you get back to sleep. It wasn't often you actually confessed to being scared since you were always so proud and reluctant, so this agreement worked out well for moderation.
"I think there's chocolate in the pantry," Toji mutters while going to check.
"It should be behind the somen," you add helpfully.
For a guy as big and intimidating as he was, his vices are eerily similar to yours. Luckily he keeps an emergency stash for times like this and returns shortly with a king-sized bar. He hands it to you.
"Make sure to brush your teeth again. We don't have extra money for a dentist."
"Yeah, yeah. I know."
You open the package and break off a few squares before giving it back. The flavors of weed and chocolate combine on your tongue pleasantly, calming your nerves.
The two of you smoke and eat in comfortable silence, other than the faint city noise below. A bemused expression passes over Toji's face after a few minutes.
"Do you remember the first time we got high together?"
Your head nods and you snicker. " 'Course I do. You got trashed off a few measly hits."
"Hey, that's not fair! The shit's gotten a hell of alot stronger since I was your age. I used to get it from a guy who was older than me, so it was probably something he grew himself. Shitty stuff. It was always dark and full of seeds. That joint you gave me made me fuckin' time travel," he chuckles as he reminisces.
That night was very similar to this one. During the first week of being invited to move in, you'd awoken from a horribly stressful nightmare and attempted to sneak a toke through the bedroom window. Tried and failed when Toji awoke to the smell of skunk in his apartment. He was as confused as he was amused by the sight of you with your eyes bugged wide and nearly dropping a joint while choking on smoke. That memory often found its way to the surface of his mind, always making him laugh.
"You made me decide to stay here," you mumble quietly, recalling how at first the initial plan of yours was to bail after a few nights of sleeping indoors and eating three times a day.
He nods along, exhaling with a grin. "I didn't want you to leave. You don't belong on the streets."
"It wasn't that hard for me," you insist.
Toji gives you a sideways glance and scoffs. "You were starved in every way when you first got here. How are you holding up these days?"
You look at him with an annoyed expression. "What do you mean? I eat plenty."
"That's not what I'm talking about… I mean, how are things with Junpei?"
You're startled to hear him ask you about your relationship, surprised that he would care. In fact it irritates you a little.
"It's good. Great. How about you and Nagi?"
He chuckles softly, knowing when he's struck a nerve with you. "Eh. So-so…I'm no good at dating. She sent me a message and I don't know how to respond back. It's just been sitting there for a few days now."
Is he…asking you for advice? You're hesitant to prod further, feeling you may regret it but your curiosity is growing.
"What did she say?"
Pulling out his phone with a sigh, he clicks through the messages before handing it to you.
I had such a fun time last night! I hope you did too. Would love to do it again sometime. 3
You blink. That's it? Why would a message as mundane as this give Toji response anxiety? He's looking at you expectantly with his arms crossed and his brow furrowed. He seems… nervous.
"What should I say?" he asks.
Clearing your throat you read the message again, checking for any hidden meanings or undertones but of course there are none. She genuinely enjoyed spending time with him apparently.
"I dunno. Just tell her you had fun too."
Now his expression switches from nervous to pure worry. "But I didn't."
Your heart does a little flip-flop. Does he mean he didn't like her afterall? Are they going to break up already? Oh, thank God! This whole scenario has been way too awkward! You try to contain the excitement bubbling up and manage a casual shrug.
"Then I guess don't respond? She'll get the idea soon enough."
Toji shrinks into himself a bit. "That feels like a dick move though."
"Who cares?"
"I do… She's nice. I like her," he whispers it quietly, as if sharing a secret.
Your heart sinks. So much for those high hopes. "Oh. Then why don't you want to take her out again?"
With a groan he brings his palm to his face. "I was entirely out of my element. Some guy at the bar made me mad and I hit him. Or kicked him, I don't exactly remember. We left after that."
"Ah, well that was probably for the best."
Instantly you feel bad for the guy. He was rusty when it came to going out socially. Judging by the way he's acting, he seems to be looking to you for real advice here.
"She wants to see me again, and I want to see her too," Toji confesses.
"She's … fun. After we left the bar, we came back here so I could make us dinner."
He continues on, smiling half-heartedly.
"But then I screwed things up again when she started talking about her dead husband. It put me in a bad place and… I think she heard me crying in the bathroom. I'm pretty fucking hopeless when it comes to this sort of thing."
You're in shock as your sensei bares his soul like this to you. He.. he actually cried? In front of his date? That's a total nightmare.
"Hey, she still wants to see you though," you point to his phone again to remind him.
"It couldn't have been that bad. Some women like a guy who cries. Maybe she's one of those?"
That earns you a nasty glare. Toji isn't the soft "let's all show our emotions" type by a long shot. He must be feeling pretty humiliated about this.
"What would you do?" he asks.
"Me? Well, I wouldn't cry on a date, for starters."
He slugs your shoulder hard enough to wobble you in place.
"Ow! Asshole! I'm just saying, I don't think she sees it as a bad thing if she's clearly waiting on you to reply."
"I dunno what to say. I'm embarrassed," he mumbles.
Now you're positive the weed is taking its effect if he's talking about his feelings now.
"It's understandable. We all get like that, but you recover from it eventually… or you can just let your fears rule what you can and can't do in life."
You listen to your words, feeling the twinge of guilt and hypocrisy since you don't always follow your own advice. There's plenty that you're scared of and it's been dictating certain aspects of your love life too.
Toji nods and sighs heavily.
"Yeah. You're right. I don't want to be afraid of liking someone. I guess that's what it is. I'm not used to it."
"What do you mean? You like me plenty!" This time it's you who punches him in the arm, earning a soft oof.
"Don't worry so much. You're likable, Sensei." You smile and offer him the joint again which he takes. His face looks less stressed finally.
"You were the first person to make me feel likable," he says quietly, turning strangely sentimental all of a sudden.
Your face begins to heat up. He's still talking about the first time the two of you got high together.
"Yeah. I remember. It, uh, almost went a different way there for a little while."
He makes a derisive sound and shakes his head. "The stuff we were smoking was too strong. That would have never happened if I was sober. It was stupid of me."
You turn your head so he can't see your smile. It's oddly comforting to hear that he still feels that way.
He would be a huge creep if he thought otherwise.
.
.flashback
.
It's late. Toji can tell by the darkness of the living room that it has to be past midnight already. The surrounding businesses have long since shut off their lights, leaving the city in muted silence, but it wasn't a noise that woke him.
"What… what'sat fuckin' smell?" He murmurs in half sleep as he shakes himself to consciousness.
A distinct skunk-like odor reaches his nose again when he sniffs the air. There's no way it can be what he thinks it is. No one in their right mind would smoke be smoking marijuana inside the building.
He sits upright. His suspicions are piqued. "That little shit."
When he gets up and quietly approaches the back bedroom, the smell only grows stronger.
"You've got to be kidding me…"
He cracks the door open silently and peers inside. There at the window, though it's barely cracked enough to matter, he can see the hunched form of your head and shoulders, staggering to hold in a series of coughs as you muffle them into a balled up shirt. Smoke has perforated the room completely.
"What do you think you're doing?!"
You leaping at the sudden shout behind you, nearly dropping the joint in your lips.
"Whoa! H-hey! This.. this isn't what it looks like!" you protest with your hands pawing the air uselessly to wave the smoke through the window.
Toji cracks a huge grin, his anger vanishing at the hysterical sight of you frantically swooping your hands back and forth in an attempt to air out the room while he's watching, and all while the joint still sits between your teeth.
He scoffs in amusement to let you know you aren't in actual trouble. "Alright, you're busted, kiddo. Give it to me."
Reluctantly you hand over your weed with an audible groan. If only the stupid window would have slid open just a little bit further before getting stuck, the room wouldn't have hotboxed so quickly. Toji takes a scrutinizing look at your joint then completely surprises you when he takes a hit off it.
"Wha- hey! That's mine, you asshole!" you snap in outrage.
He pushes back your attempts to snatch it back from him easily with one arm.
"Goddamn this is… pretty decent shit actually. Where did a broke kid like you find something like this?"
A frustrated growl erupts from you as you slap his arm aside. "Your mama! Now hand it back! I need it to get back to sleep."
He raises an eyebrow at that. "Sleep? Are you an insomniac or something?"
You don't respond right away, reluctantly watching as he takes yet another toke. You sigh in defeat before muttering something unintelligible.
"Huh? What's that?" He leans in closer.
"I said! I… I need it for my nightmares."
He looks at the joint with new interest. "You have bad dreams? Is this stuff good for preventing them?"
"It's the only thing that helps me get back to sleep, so if you don't mind?" Expectantly you hold out your hand.
Finally he relents and hands it back to you. You take a cautionary hit, still unsure if this man you barely know might change his mind. Your host merely shakes his head and chuckles again softly.
"The neighbor on the other side of us is a nosy old thing. You should smoke in the living room. I smelled that stuff from the next room so I know she probably can too."
You're amazed that he's seemingly giving you permission. This stuff isn't exactly legal here. Then again, you still don't know very much about the guy who took you in with no strings attached. You find it hard to believe this little arrangement could be so easy.
The two of you sit on the couch and he switches on the television. After a few clicks, he reaches over with his free hand, silently requesting another hit from your weed. You let him have it, knowing all too well that he could just take it from you if you refused.
"I used to love getting high and watching a good movie. Do you see anything that you like?" he asks between puffs while channel surfing.
For a while nothing catches your interest, until familiar opening music begins to play on one channel.
"Wait a second. Leave it here, will ya? This movie is pretty good, and it's just starting."
Toji looks over at you incredulously, a huge grin plastering his face.
"Terminator 2? No way, you like this one? I actually love it too."
You shrug, refusing the attempted camaraderie after he copped your weed.
"Big deal. Most people do. It's a blockbuster."
"Aw, don't be such a hard-ass. You can't deny that it's one of the best action movies ever made," he says passing the joint back.
You take an extra large hit since you're clearly going to have to sit through the movie anyway to finish your smoke. At least you can be high the whole time. As the first act plays out, you sit in mostly silence. Mostly.
Toji chuckles with a slight embarrassed groan as he points at the screen.
"Man… Sarah Connor really had it going on. Beauty, muscle, and brains. I was so in love with her when I first saw this."
You snort a laugh in response. "I guess I could see it. A woman who kicks ass wasn't a common thing movies had to offer for a while." You're having a hard time imagining someone like Toji being a love-struck fanboy, but it's a little humanizing to picture.
It must be your turn to say something that you like about the movie now judging by his expectant silence. "I like T101. He's badass."
"Sure is. Schwarzenegger was in a league of his own in his glory days," Toji agrees. He gets up from the couch and heads into the kitchen.
"That stuff we're smoking is making me hungry already. I think I have something sweet tucked away."
When he returns, he's holding a chocolate bar.
"Split it with ya?" He snaps the bar while it's still in the package.
"Sure," you reply, holding out your hand to take half.
As you snack and smoke while watching the movie, feeling the effects of the weed setting in. A calmness gradually takes over, and you tuck your feet under yourself, glancing over occasionally and smirking at the bizarre sight of Toji actually smoking weed. You would have never taken him as the type to partake. The guy seemed way too uptight.
Minutes of silence tick by. On the tv screen, a young John Connor steals cash from ATMs using stolen card information as his best friend with the most 90's mullet in existence accompanies him every step of the way.
"It was my dad. The dream I had was about my dad," you mumble.
Toji looks at you for only a second before returning his attention back to the screen.
"Is that so?"
You nod and stare down at the floor. "Yeah. Not the one who gave me the scars on my back. That was my step-dad. My mom never married my real father. He was more into drugs than his family I guess."
"Wow. Your mom sure had great taste in men. Did she only date assholes?" Toji scoffs while shaking his head.
"Pretty much. He was… trying to get me to move back into his house. Making stupid empty promises I knew he wouldn't keep. He was always doing that in real life. My parents split up before I was born so I never knew them as a couple. My dad was a hoarder too. Always living in filth and trying to convince me to live with him instead of my mom. Whenever I told him I didn't want to, he'd threaten to kill himself."
Toji turns to you in alarm. "Wait… in the dream or in real life?"
"Both," you answer with an uncomfortable silence following.
His eyebrows rise. "That's… pretty shitty. Of your dad I mean. To say that to your own kid is really fucked up. How old were you?"
"The first time he told me he would commit suicide? Uhh… Probably eight. He used to say it alot."
"Christ…"
You look down at the joint burning between your fingers. "Eventually I started having dreams about it. At first they made me freak out, I'd wake up in tears or screaming."
"And what about now?" Toji asks expectantly.
You shrug your shoulders. "Now I just feel angry. Angry that I still have to have these dreams even though he isn't around. And… I guess it's because I won't ever get the closure I need."
He blinks in surprise at your words. "Closure? You mean… seeing your dad actually dead?"
You nod. "It would probably stop the dreams. It's a theory at least, but that'll never happen since I ran away. I won't know when he does croak, so I probably won't have any relief from that news."
You wait to hear the barrage of protests from him that your family should be important, that you should feel ashamed for wishing for such a horrible fate for your own father, but nothing comes. Toji is rubbing his jaw in deep thought, looking very troubled about what he's just heard. Sadly toxic family is something he knows about all too well.
"It doesn't really help all that much," he responds finally.
"Seeing your shitty dad dead in a box doesn't actually do anything. You'd think it would be a relief, but it's just… more emptiness. You realize you don't miss anything about him, and then you have a hole that having a good parent left you."
You process his words carefully, realizing exactly what he must be telling you.
"Oh… I'm sorry," you mutter awkwardly.
He shrugs, rubbing his own scarred arms as he speaks. "It's not a big deal. My old man wasn't any sort of father figure to me. Not by a long shot. In fact none of my family was very close. My folks didn't exactly look out for me or keep me safe either. I was always treated like I was in the way. Even when I could prove myself useful, I never received praise or recognition from them. I did as I was told, and they never cared how much pain was inflicted upon me as long as it made me work harder. They gave me my first scars."
You're dumbstruck. Until now you've only assumed his old injuries all came from fighting. Staring down at the scars upon his arms, it never occurred to you before that many of those may have been caused by his own family. The same people who were supposed to love him and care for him…
He probably had dozens more that you couldn't see. Your own courage bolsters, and you decide to open up further to this man you barely know. Standing up, you take a deep staggering breath and begin to unfasten your pants.
Toji startles, visibly shocked at what you're doing. "Wha- Hey, now. What are you-!?"
The loose fitting sweats slip down past your thighs. His hand covers his mouth when he sees your old scars. All of them have healed, but their placements are all straight in a row.
"Ah, shit, kiddo. That's… really fucking sad," he comments with pain in his voice.
You cover the old marks with one of your palms, slowly finding your words.
"It's been a while since I did anything like this to myself. I stopped feeling like I had to hurt myself after I left the people who made me feel worthless."
Toji sighs again, nodding while wringing his hands, still looking terribly upset.
"That was… a really good call on your part. Good job. And I'm glad you haven't done that in a long time. It's fucked up that someone as young as you felt like you had to do something like that. You should have had people looking after you and trying to get help for you. I'm sorry that it happened, even if all of those scars are old… I'm still sorry about them."
In an odd gesture, he places Toji hand over yours with light pressure, keeping it on your thigh. Being met with immediate understanding and the simplicity of his words gives you such an odd uplifting feeling. You've needed to hear someone say this for so long that it spurs your next impulse. You touch the inside of his arm gently with your free hand. When he turns to look over, you lean in much closer to him. In a flash he jerks his entire body back, flinching as if you'd just thrown a swing at him.
"Wha- What are you doing?! the hell was that?!" he demands with wide eyes.
You blink rapidly, freezing on the spot. "I.. I thought you wanted me to– "
"No! NO!" he reiterates, sliding further backwards from you on the couch in a panic now with both palms up defensively.
"You're just a kid! Where would you get the idea that I wanted to–"
"You're the one who touched me first!" you argue in outrage that he's putting all of the blame on you. Quickly you pull your pants back up with a burning in your face so intense that your ears begin to tingle.
"I'm trying to be nice to you! Your story about your dad and your past was fucking sad, okay? I didn't want you to feel that way about people who don't even deserve your sadness. So yeah, I held your hand. I'm sorry you took it… like that. But you need to understand that I would never, never try anything like that with you. Alright?"
You sit in silence, your face burning with embarrassment. How could you be so stupid? He's an adult! Why would he be interested in you that way? Why did you think he was coming onto you just from one nice gesture?
"Oh, my God. What the hell is wrong with me?" you groan in disbelief and hide your face in your palms, feeling like such a complete moron.
"Hey, don't beat yourself up. Neither of us received affection when we were little. That makes it hard to read signals from other people sometimes. You just got confused, right?" He smiles, clearly trying to brush the whole thing off responsibly. It's too bad that his assumptions are wrong.
"I just thought… if I'm staying here and all… that I should do something to earn my keep so I don't get kicked out for free-loading off you. I assumed that's what this would turn out to be, but when you never made the first move, I thought that maybe I should do it."
Rubbing the back of his head in thought, Toji sighs again. "Yeah well… I don't need that from you. I like having you here because you're good company."
"Really? I am?" No one has ever told you this before. The lump in the back of your throat returns slightly.
"Sure you are. I like your attitude. You don't let anyone push you around. You're headstrong." He chuckles and holds up the remainder of the joint in his fingers.
"Hehe. My dad would have had a hell of a time if you'd been his son instead of me."
"You mean that?"
Toji looks at you again with a thoughtful glimmer in his eyes. "All I ever did as a kid was blindly follow orders and it got me nowhere special. I think fighting those powers above us is a far more noble existence, even if you're kicking and screaming the whole time. You should always keep the ability to give someone else hell. That's true strength."
An odd sense of pride swells within you. He thinks you're strong, he said so himself. It's such a simple yet heartfelt compliment. There's no reason for your eyes to sting the way they do.
"How about just a hug? You look like you need it," he offers.
It feels strange hearing his voice forming those words, but regardless you find yourself nodding. You've never been much of a hugger, but for Toji it would be okay with you. More than likely he hasn't had many opportunities for affection in his life either.
He leans over and puts just one arm around your shoulders, giving a light yet reassuring squeeze. You exhale heavily, emitting a low groan of embarrassment.
"Ughh.. That would have been my first kiss if you didn't pull back! I'm such an idiot!"
Toji only chuckles quietly again. "Hey, it's fine. You'll forget about it eventually, really. It's not a big deal."
"So what? You'll never bring it up again?" You ask carefully.
He appears relieved at that idea. "Honestly, sure. We can say it never happened, watch the movie until you feel like going to sleep, and never mention it. That's completely doable."
You gratefully accept this offer, nodding with relief that he isn't going to let that sort of thing happen between you after all.
"Besides, there's worse things than trying to have your first kiss with a handsome guy like me," he chuckles.
"Shove it! We're never mentioning it again!" you shriek.
You elbow him as hard as you can in the ribs, which only makes him laugh even harder at you.
…end of flashback...
The two of you continue to pass the last of the joint back and forth, watching the blackness of the skyline lessen to the cooler gray of dawn. Toji yawns and stretches.
"You should try to get some more sleep before school. Go ahead and lie back down. You can take the couch, I'll sit on the floor. The couch isn't big enough for two men," he mutters.
The way he says men makes you smile. You settle down again and he makes himself comfortable in front of you, sitting with the back of his head level with yours. After a long stretch and a yawn, he assumes his meditative position with legs crossed and shoulders squared.
Like a guard dog, You smile to yourself as you suddenly become aware of the weight of your eyelids.
"Still thinking of replying to Nagi's text message?"
His head pops up and he half turns around with interest. "Hm? Do you have any ideas?"
You nod while yawning sleepily, making yourself more comfortable in the cushions that are well worn in by Toji's usual bulk.
"You should tell her that even if you didn't enjoy the date itself, you still enjoyed being around her. That should make her happy. She'll understand that you want to go out again."
A small smile tugs the corner of Tojis lips. "Yeah? You think that'll work?"
"Sure. And don't worry about the last date. If she likes you, she won't care," you offer reassuringly.
"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, kiddo."
It isn't too long before the soft pattern of your breath alerts Toji that you've fallen back asleep. He checks his phone and sees it's just after 4 am. Gathering his courage, Toji once again opens the daunting text message from Nagi Yoshino and finally begins typing a reply.
.
.
.
Meanwhile, on the same side of town in a hotel not too far away, the curtains are opened wide to allow the spill of streetlight into the largest penthouse suite on the top floor.
Sakyo Kazahaya steps out of the shower, his lithe body dripping onto the white marble floor of the bathroom. Picking up one of the many fresh towels from the stack left by the maid, he dries himself thoroughly before wiping away the residual steam from the mirror. He hums while performing his skincare routine, then takes on the arduous task of drying his hair which is long enough to cling midway down his back.
His mood is light this evening. And why shouldn't it be? Tonight is a celebration of sorts. Well, a pre-celebration anyway. The stirring he'd felt when he saw Toji again at the railcars has had his spirits soaring for days now. He's even been smoking less too. It was impossible to crave a petty thing like tobacco when his beloved Shi-san has resurfaced at last, like a specter from the other side.
He gives a deep groaning sigh while touching his chest, feeling the palpitations of excitement building. The very reason he came here in the first place was because he had no patience for waiting for what he wanted. The wine he left out to bring up to temperature should be just about ready, and his guest for the evening will be arriving any minute. Slipping on a deep blue kimono with silver sea holly pattern at the hem, he slides open the glass balcony door to allow a breeze in. It was a bit warm to be wearing a yukata indoors, but Sakyo liked achieving a certain ambience whenever he called for entertainment, which wasn't often. At least this side of Tokyo isn't lacking for reputable hotels, though the thread count of the sheets is noticeably substandard to what he prefers.
"I hope they're sending someone tall enough," he mutters to no one but himself. He'd painted a picture over the phone of what he was specifically looking for. Hopefully the agency he called followed all of his instructions.
Tall. Black hair. No substitutions. As for eyes he was more flexible so long as they were either green or blue, but he insisted on requesting a lighter color over dark. And above all else, he insisted that whoever they send must have a facial scar. The woman he spoke with over the phone sounded certain that all of his requests could be easily met, but he still held his doubts.
There's a soft knock upon his door, pulling him from his thoughts. Ah, his guest has finally arrived. He fastens the tie of his slate gray obi to be just a bit more snug around his slender waist before striding across the room.
As the door swings open Sakyo's initial welcoming smile falters right away. The man standing in the hallway is certainly tall and has dark hair just as he requested. He's handsome of course. His features are nearly perfect save for a single facial scar, a streak across one side the man's forehead, giving the slight illusion of one brow being raised slightly higher, as if in polite piqued interest. It was nothing like Toji's scar, which made his mouth appear like it was fixed in a permanent scowl.
The man smiles, his blue eyes lighting up cordially as he bows his head. "Hello. My name is Jin. I was sent to entertain you for the evening."
Sakyo huffs once through his nose. "Mm. I suppose you'll do. Come in."
He leaves the door open and turns his back on his guest. Jin tries to brush off this coldness and maintain his friendly demeanor. He's had more than his fair share of difficult customers before, but there were very few that he couldn't get to open up after a little light conversation and a few drinks. He decides to start easy before getting too personal. Some customers prefer avoiding being too chatty during exchanges like this.
"This is a nice place. I can't say I've ever been to this hotel before."
Sakyo sighs rather despondently while filling his wine glass.
"No, I doubt you have. I assume most of the hotels you're sent to are along the downtown strip, right? Somewhere cheap and neon-lit since your organization's prices are so damn high."
"I'm sorry?" Jin senses he may have detected some acidity in that last statement.
"Nothing. As I said, you'll do fine for what I'm wanting." Without glancing over, Sakyo fills the second glass and offers it. Jin hesitates, usually declining to drink while on the clock. It's never a good idea to dull his senses too much in his line of work.
Sakyo's gaze hardens in annoyance. "I'll pay you extra to drink with me. I don't enjoy drinking alone."
"Alright then. Can't argue with that," Jin concedes and accepts it, waiting to watch Sakyo take the first sip before raising the glass to his own lips. It's bitter and acidic at once over his tongue. He preferred soju when he drank so he could better keep his wits about him.
"Ah, that's… warm," he comments neutrally. He fights back a grimace and gulps the mouthful down.
"The wine you're drinking is a 1985 Château Chasse-Spleen from the Medoc subregion of Bordeaux. It carries notes of blackcurrant, plum and dark cherry with undertones resonating of leather and tobacco. It's also nearly fifteen thousand yen per bottle, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't gulp it down without tasting it properly."
Sakyo's tone is icy. He's already displeased with how poorly this "date" is starting. Jin is doing well to hide all discomfort he is feeling, plastering a polite smile on his lips and keeping his expression from reacting negatively. He's handled way meaner bastards in the past than any spoiled rich trust fund brat. In an effort to get his client in a better mood, he decides to remove his shirt, casually unbuttoning it to reveal his perfectly chiseled chest.
"Well, clearly you're a man of refined tastes, and you are correct. Usually I don't get called to hotels like this. So please tell me what you want, and I won't waste any of your valuable time."
If he were dealing with any other man, they would be swayed at once by Jin's charming eager nature and smooth, unblemished skin. Sakyo however only stares at that perfect body without reaction. Not a single scar other than the one imperfection on this whore's otherwise lovely face.
"At least you're a decent kiss ass. And you're more professional than any of the others in your line of work I've attempted to make business with. So let's give this a shot, shall we?"
The man sitting on his bed leans forward, the muscles in his chest rippling with even this subtle movement. "The hour is yours. What can I do for you?"
Sakyo finishes his wine, setting the glass down and approaching the bed, stopping just a few feet shy of where his guest sits.
"I'd like to do a little role-playing if that's within your skills."
Ah, now we're getting somewhere. Jin's ambitions are mounting already. This is a skill in which he was quite confident. Maybe this rich bastard has a daddy kink. He quietly hopes so just for the opportunity he may have to teach this asshole a lesson in manners. A good spanking might do him some good and humble him.
"I'd be happy to do that with you."
A dismissive scoff from his host cuts him off. "Well, for starters that's our first problem. You're too happy. You need to stop smiling so much. It's too smug of an attitude for someone like you. That's not what I like anyway."
'Someone like me?' What the hell does that mean?
"What would you prefer?" Jin asks aloud instead.
An odd glint appears in Sakyo's eyes. Again he imagines what he has in mind for the evening and pauses to relish in his own sweet memory.
"I want you to look at me as if you don't want to be here. Let some of your true feelings through for all I care, just stop performing that fake customer service type of happiness at once."
A scowl settles on Jin's lips. He clenches his jaw to keep his immediate responses to himself. This guy is a true fucking asshole.
"There… yes. That's the expression I want from you. You look like you want to strike me. Hehe. That's perfect."
Christ this guy is a weird one, Jin cringes a bit visibly, but the lack of reprimand indicates this is what Sakyo is looking for. This isn't the first time he's entertained a man with freakish tastes. They typically have specific fantasies to play out for their own personal kicks.
"How do you want me to act? What's my motivation?" he asks.
"Hmm… Let's say you hate your job. Yes and also you're here against your better judgment. I want you to act like entertaining me is a chore which you were assigned," Sakyo suggests brightly with what looks like genuine excitement.
Gee, what a stretch. What the fuck is with this guy? It's sounding like he wants a consensual non-consent scenario. God, Jin hates those, but he can charge extra if he goes along with it. He tightens his face into an abject frown. Again Sakyo appears to be pleased with his guest's easily adjusted personality, rotating the wine glass in his hand.
"Your name is a bit hard for me to remember. I'd like to call you something else. How about–"
"I'd prefer you call me by my own damn name," Jin insists with unexpected annoyance. He meant to hold back a bit but it's enough to rattle Sakyo at least. Thankfully his customer only laughs at the outburst.
"Ha ha ha ha! Alright then. I'll allow this, but only if you promise to keep up that same attitude. That sounded almost like something he would say…. Oh, and you may refer to me as Sakyo, of course. You have my permission to address me freely."
Now Jin's annoyance is becoming more transparent. He needs to work harder to keep things on the right track. There's no way he's doing double-time for this one. Since he got such a good reaction with being himself, he decides to let his true feelings out. That seemed to coincidentally fit with what this creep wants.
"Let's just cut this little game of yours and get right to the part you actually care about. What am I supposed to be doing here? Do you want your dick sucked or something? You wouldn't have paid so much just to have someone to drink wine with. Wine that tastes like pure shit by the way."
He sits down on the bed and crosses his arms, staring daggers at Sakyo who's odd smile only grows with each word of insolence he hears. Maybe the agency didn't completely screw up his request after all. He'd also asked for whoever they sent to be adaptable.
"Actually…. I'd like to be the one who sucks you off."
He drops slowly to his knees at the floor beside the bed, placing his hands on both of Jin's knees to part them wider.
"Ah, alright. I don't really get that request often, but sure. By all means, amuse yourself as much as you want."
Just don't bite me, you sicko, Jin grits hesitantly while unbuttoning and lowering his pants.
He isn't quite hard yet, but Sakyo doesn't seem to mind this as he begins stroking the soft member before him to life. Once satisfied, he pulls a wrapped condom from the sleeve of his yukata.
"I'm sure you'll understand my precaution," he murmurs before sliding it on.
"Sure. Safety first," Jin agrees. It isn't like Sakyo would be his first date for the evening or even his last.
Through the latex his sensations are somewhat stifled, but he still enjoys the sight of one of Tokyo's elite on his knees to suck him off. The appetites of the rich never ceased to surprise Jin. One would think these men only wanted to be in control at all times, but in truth most would much prefer being the one subjugated to please another person for once. And pay handsomely for it.
"Mm. Yeah, that feels good," he breathes with a gentle hand reaching for the back of Sakyo's head.
"Don't touch me! Keep your hands to yourself."
Immediately Jin curls his fingers into the sheets again. "Alright then."
"And stop acting like you're enjoying this so damn much," Sakyo demands.
"I– Sorry?"
Glaring now, his odd customer stares up with displeasure lining his eyes dangerously. "This isn't something I want evidence that you're taking any pleasure in. I want you to look upon me as if you're under duress as if you hate it. I want to see disdain in your eyes. Is that clear enough?"
All Jin can do is nod his head, reminding himself that the hour is slowly ticking by.
"Uh. Yeah, I got it."
He exhales heavily through his nose as Sakyo continues. It isn't too difficult for a professional like Jin to keep quiet and put on the "tsundere" charade requested of him. Besides Sakyo's oral skills are a far cry from irresistible on their own. Clearly this rude bastard isn't experienced, but he does seem motivated enough to keep this up a bit longer. The sounds of rhythmic sucking and soft humming fill the room and Jin plasters on an annoyed expression.
"So just how long does this little game of yours last? I'm guessing you don't want me to finish, am I right?"
This earns a throaty chuckle from below as Sakyo comes up for air. His right hand massages the stiff member before him, playfully rolling the condom with each stroke.
"Hmm.. No, you can finish if you feel the need, but not yet. That isn't what I'm paying you for. I want you to keep looking at me just like that."
His voice is nearly begging as he locks eyes with the man above him. Even though Jin doesn't resemble Toji, the stern set of his jaw and his chilling demeanor were similar enough for Sakyo to become aroused. With his free hand he grips himself and moans, closing his eyes and letting his imagination take over.
"Shi-san…" he whispers.
"Hm? What was that?"
Sakyo's eyes open. He shakes his head with a little laugh.
"Nothing… I'd like for you to fuck me now."
He climbs onto Jin's lap, letting his silk robe slide down his shoulders. His hips grind downward and strong hands slip around his lower waist to hold him in place.
"Just tell me how you want it."
A low hum rumbles through Sakyo's chest as he presses their bodies closer together, breathing in the strong smell of cologne and aftershave.
"Fuck me… as if someone were holding a loaded gun to your head," the corners of his eyes crinkle mischievously.
Jin freezes and the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. "Come again?"
"Was that not clear enough?" Sakyo asks.
"No. I–... I heard you. I just–"
With a tired sigh, Sakyo pushes the larger man's shoulders back onto the mattress. Leaning in to feign as if he were going in for a kiss, his hand slithers up beneath one of the pillows. "Let me guess... You need more motivation?"
Jin's heart is racing like a rabbit now. All of his senses are telling him this is a huge red flag and he should leave, but when cold heavy metal presses against his temple, his mind goes entirely blank.
"Now fuck me," Sakyo orders. His free hand reaches behind to align Jin's quickly shrinking manhood to his entrance.
"Please.. I can't- I can't do it like this," Jin stammers. He raises his hands haplessly, refusing to touch this insane man anymore.
"What kind of a professional are you? Don't just lie there! I'm paying you good money, now do it!"
"Pl-please don't do this! I .. I have a son! He's on-ly eleven and I'm all that he has! He can't even walk himself to school yet!" Jin's voice is choked as burning tears are streaming from his eyes.
In exasperation Sakyo sits back on his heels, his obvious disgust having risen the moment he heard the man's pitiful sniveling. Toji would never bitch and moan like this, even with a gun pointed at his face. Their magical moment was gone. He stands up and stares angrily out the window.
"Fine. Leave. But I'm not paying you. All you did was get your whore dick sucked. You'll have to make up for your mistake with a dozen other men to pay your son's tuition somehow."
Jin doesn't need to be told twice. He's already pulling his pants back up, fully ready to leave without his shirt. "Yes, understood. Thank you!"
He grabs his shoes in hand and sprints toward the door. Before he can close it behind him, a cold voice calls out to him.
"Jin,"
Against his better judgment, he turns around, expecting to be staring down the barrel of a gun. Instead, Sakyo merely sits reclined onto the king-sized bed, leaving his legs wide open. He lazily holds his gun in one hand, pointed downward at the mattress, having no desire to kill such a miserable excuse of a man.
"I just thought you should know… You're a terrible father."
.
.
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To Be Continued…..