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Season 4 - Episode 23 - a month after 'Hindsight Part 5'

April 28, 2016

She was reading. It had been a lazy morning with lazy, glorious morning sex, a fantastic bath, good coffee and french toast, expertly made by him, and now him in his pajamas, snuggled up with her on his couch.

She couldn't remember feeling so content.

Comfortable. At peace.

They didn't get enough of this. She wondered if this would be what retirement was like, but would she get bored? He ran his hands unconsciously all over her as he watched t.v. and she tried to read … nope. She'd never be bored with this.

He was watching cartoons. An adult cartoon, in his defense, and she was wrapped up in her book. His right hand absently running through her hair, twirling it sometimes and moving it to the side other times to give his lips access to her neck.

She heard a funny moment on his show and giggled.

He squeezed her closer. She was in between his legs, leaning back against him, almost laying, but comfortably propping her book up on her legs.

"You're watching my show and I'm reading your book." He chuckled.

She corrected, "I'm reading and listening. It's funny …"

"Captain Sharon Raydor likes cartoons."

She hummed in disagreement. "I like you."

He kissed the top of her head. "Like?" He pouted.

"Hmmmm, love." She maneuvered her lips around to meet his, letting the book close soon after, letting it drop to the floor, both tuning out the show and everything else as she turned and moved to face him and straddle his legs, leaning in to deepen the kiss.

When they needed a little air, he pulled her in for a hug. "I could do this all day." His hand running down her arms, back, ass, bringing her even closer.

"Mmmmmm," She moaned into another kiss. "Do it all day, Andy."

He growled. A challenge.

Later, he was cooking and she was in her normal suction fish position, arms around his neck, holding on as he moved around the kitchen, watching him concentrate as best he could, because she was distracting him … purposefully, though hungry, she still couldn't get enough. Sometimes she'd move to his side and keep her arms around his middle, or around to his back so that he could cut up vegetables, but she just wanted to constantly touch him. She felt ridiculous, but this felt normal. She loved cooking with him, though she never really helped with the cooking.

He loved cooking with her, and he was grateful she never really helped with the cooking. He got everything going and could take a little break, so he moved them across the kitchen and kissed her long and slow for a while. He felt so lucky. This woman wanted him. She wanted to be near him. She wanted to touch him, listen to him … he accepted it, but couldn't understand it. She could have anyone.

"Stay here, birthday girl." He quickly moved to the stove to turn down one thing, then rushed back to her.

Her fingers went immediately in his hair as his lips and teeth and tongue attacked her neck. "I keep forgetting it's my birthday." She gasped and hummed when he reached that spot that drove her crazy.

"Just another day?"

"It's been a perfect day."

He kissed her. "Anything else you want to do besides 'nothing'," … which was her answer weeks ago.

He'd bought her a cake, planned one of her favorite meals after she denied him all of his suggestions … a party, dinner at Serve, a trip somewhere not too far away. She only wanted him, his house, and his bed. He was baffled.

It was her first birthday with him and she just wanted him. She'd never felt the need for a slow, boring day more than today.

He pouted a bit and leaned into her, "You … Ms. 'Sense of Occasion' … wouldn't let me throw you a party."

She held on to him tighter. "Just want you, Andy." She reached down and felt him as he grew against her.

He slowly kissed down her neck again.

"Food ready?"

"About 20 minutes."

"That's enough time," She mumbled against his ear. She twisted out of his embrace and pulled his hand, walking a surprised and excited Andy to his room and bed.

"It burns and it's your fault." He pulled at her shirt.

"Get naked," She ordered, frantically pulling at his.

Season 3 - Episode 10 - before 'Zoo Story'

August 10, 2014

They'd had an almost four-hour dinner … probably a record for them, but he honestly wasn't sure. He could be around her every second of every day and it still wouldn't be enough. He had a problem … and he was beginning to wonder if she had the same one. She never seemed to be bored with him … never overly annoyed, because he did love trying sometimes … never antsy to leave him … but they did have to leave eventually, though.

Walking out of the Thai restaurant, they were still laughing. She was nearing the end of a story about one of her first days on patrol. He loved hearing about how she was back in the day. He loved hearing her speak about anything at all. He wondered how different life would've been if they'd known each other better back then … if he knew how important she'd be in his life … he had so many regrets.

She leaned against her car door, not wanting dinner to end, yet. "Thanks again for speaking with Ricky last week."

"No problem. Jack's an ass."

She smiled and nodded, looking him over. He looked very handsome tonight.

"I couldn't believe I reacted to him like that … I'm a mess."

He took a step forward, looking only at her lips. He longed to taste them.

He couldn't. He wanted to tell her that she was a beautiful mess. His heart ached. Captain. Friend. Boss.

She was fixated on the stars at the moment. He was fixated now on her neck ... he longed to taste it as well. His eyes moved over her face as she looked up.

"So beautiful," he whispered accidentally. Shit. Maybe she didn't hear. He quickly looked up.

"Hmm?" She'd barely heard him.

"I-" his phone buzzed. Nervously, he answered. "Yeah?" He met her eyes. "Okay, text the address." He rolled his eyes. Fuck. He'd wanted … wasn't ready for tonight to end. He'd wanted to try to tell her ... ask her … no … he knew that he'd chicken out, but he wanted to walk with her some on the beach, which was the plan … he wanted to maybe work up the nerve to push this along. He was so desperately in love and exhausted with hiding it. Patience, he smiled now that he focused back on her. His best friend.

God, she was everything.

She moved forward and hugged him. "Thanks for dinner," she mumbled.

He held her close for a moment. "You're very welcome. Sorry we can't go walk. I'm sure you'll be called in soon … Zoo Zone … missing person. We'll text." He pulled back, forced a smile, and backed up, looking over to his car.

Did he notice disappointment in her expression? She hid it quickly with a smile if there was …

"The beach will be there tomorrow," she grinned, eyes following him. "See you soon."

"Have a good night." He joked before he got in his car, smiling. He would see her soon, but not like this ... he couldn't ... he sighed.

He just needed her.

In his life.

More than what they were now.

He ached for her and felt a little ridiculous. He'd never been this way with anyone before ... feeling actual pain when not around her.

He wanted to curse … couldn't have been called in later … just thirty minutes, an hour?

He watched her start her car and pull out. He knew she'd try go home to shower if she could, but Provenza would call her in a few minutes, he was sure. 'The beach will be there tomorrow' … his heart pulled. It would. He doubted that they'd be there on the beach tomorrow, but her trying to help his disappointment made him love her even more.

He sat for a moment before starting the car. Was he imagining her disappointment? It had to be wishful thinking. Pissed still that they were interrupted, he knew he'd be in a sour mood tonight … he started his car and drove.

Season 5 - Episode 21 - during 'Shockwave Part 2'

April 2017

Andy finally saw her from across the room.

He walked over, didn't run … didn't do what he wanted and wrap her up tightly against him. He just walked over.

She was still coughing and clearing her lungs, along with everyone else, but they were all in one piece. He moved them closer to a wall to get out of the way of everyone. He was lucky to have made it back up here so quickly, only needing to flash his badge.

He stared at her for a long while, people buzzing around them, checking on each other still, he brought his hands to her face and she did the same.

They stood like that for a while.

He read her eyes.

'I'm okay,' they said. He kept looking because he didn't believe them.

His hands then drifted over her, top to bottom. She didn't care, no one was paying any attention to them. Medics were around and the cleanup crew arrived. He took her dusty jacket off, she'd have another somewhere … checked her arms, looked at her before lifting up her shirt a bit, ran his hands over her stomach, sides, back ... he brought his hands back to her face when he was sure there were no cuts or scrapes or anything.

"I'm okay." She used words this time. She then coughed.

He hugged her.

"Sharon," was all he could say.

She held him tighter, closing her eyes against him. "Andy."

He wanted to cry.

He couldn't lose this woman.

They pulled apart, knowing that they'd go home soon and do this.

"Andy, if you hadn't gone over … we'd probably be dead."

He couldn't stop touching her face. "You," he smiled at her minimizing the fact that she's the one that discovered the location of the bomb, "You're amazing."

She just kept staring into his eyes, her hands moving down to his neck. "If you hadn't … we wouldn't have-"

"Sharon," he pulled her in for a hug, it lasted longer than they expected. They just were.

For the longest time.

They just held each other, he'd been sure she was hurt, dead … when he watched the bomb explode, his mind stopped working … he'd been afraid that he heart would, as well, but adrenaline kicked in.

"We need to go home … you've been checked out?"

"Yeah," she mumbled against him and then pulled back.

"Could you not be involved in another bomb explosion tomorrow, please?"

She grinned sadly and kissed him quickly. "I'll try."

"Sharon, I can't … I can't lose you … can't live without you," he mumbled as they made out against the front door. From the second they walked in their condo, he had her against it, kissing everywhere, touching everywhere else. It was desperate and he felt it from her as well.

"I'm okay," she whispered and felt him against her. She hummed and pulled his lips back to hers, hooking her leg behind his as he leaned in even more. Tongues battling, she moaned in his mouth as he pulled her shirt up some.

"God, you're so fucking beautiful," he mumbled and started walking them carefully to their room.

Once the door was shut, she pulled back. "Andy," she pulled back a little, taking his hands in hers. "I want to retire."

He stood … stunned.

"I'm serious."

He stopped focusing on getting into her pants.

"Not next week, not next month … but … soon."

He nodded, squeezing her hands in his. It was time. If they were going to do this … he'd prefer it sooner. He never thought he'd even want to retire, until her.

"What do you think about that? You haven't said anything, honey." It had been a full minute.

'Yes." He kissed her and moved them over to the bed. "Yes, please …"