A warning for raunchy jokes in this chapter.
"This."
The sounds of battle caused the very air to shake with splitting cracks.
"Is."
Dozens of translucent blades danced like illumise and volbeat above glimmering lakes.
"Fucking."
Matched by shining spears forged of blazing white light, compacted into rigid staffs that sizzled the air as they swung.
"Awesome!" Saniya concluded.
The Legendary Lucario and Scizor the Apprentice were duelling upon the sand of the beachfront. They had only an audience of Team Sunrise, having shown they were surprisingly good at getting about without people noticing them.
Scizor was not well and so Lucario was clearly holding back, pulling her punches and causing explosions of sand to rain down from near-miss strikes. It was almost blinding with how much light they were generating with their attacks.
It was a blur of motion to Sean who couldn't keep up with the action, even Striker and Guardian were struggling to pick out the two of them from the storm of energy surrounding them. For two of the strongest pokemon known on the continent, it was jarringly humbling to witness pokemon of this power duking it out even holding back as they were.
Only Saniya was able to follow everything, her erratic mind able to keep tabs on the chaos. After ten minutes of annihilating the beach and even expanding it a little when an attack was deflected and obliterated a portion of the stone ringing it, did they stop.
Scizor was panting hard, braced on a single knee as his body glowed from the heat. In comparison, Lucario appeared barely winded but she did raise a paw, the one with the fully blunted spike, and rubbed her forehead with it before extending a paw to Scizor.
He carefully took it with a pincer and was pulled up. He nearly stumbled but she steadied him, a brilliant smile on both of their faces.
Scizor, who had looked pained and tired while in the hospital wing, beamed with liveliness and Lucario whose bored voice and faded fur expressed age seemed a hundred years younger.
"I have missed you," she said, patting his shoulder.
"Clearly," Scizor replied, grinning. "You've never said so many nice things in such a short amount of time." He laughed as she pushed him over, but a smile had fought its way onto her face and it wasn't going away.
Then he fainted.
"Oi! OI! Cara!?" A brief flash of alarm crossed Lucario's face before she picked him up. Turning to the onlookers she said. "Let's not tell the nurse what happened, here. Okay?"
"I would sell you out for Dugtrio's bucket of sand," Saniya said immediately. "Back me up guys!"
"Nothing happened."
"Nope."
"I'm not even here."
"I have been betrayed by my closest friends!"
Lucario smirked as she walked up to them, carrying Cara the scizor like he was her newly-fainted bride. "I'll drop him off, make sure he's okay. I want to see your four later."
Sean winced. "We've, uh, got a job to do, so."
"I'll come with!"
Sean grinned painfully. "Greeaat."
Lucario's smirk broadened a moment before she began to run off, carrying Cara with her.
"...if we run," Sean began. "Really, really, fast, do you think we could make it?"
"If I teleport us somewhere rando-"
"No," Striker vetoed Saniya immediately.
"But-"
"No, Saniya," Guardian sighed. "Still, though, imagine learning from The Legendary Lucario? I wonder what she wants of us?"
"Maybe to thank us," Striker asked. "We did accomplish something she cou…" He trailed off, looking around. "You don't think she can hear us, do you?"
"Wuss."
"Some of us value our lives more than a bucket of sand."
"You don't understand Dugtrio like I do!"
"I don't want to understand Dugtrio like you do."
Saniya laughed. "You're missing out, my sexy-sexy friend. Missing. Out."
Team Sunrise had begun to move back towards the town as they talked. It was technically a day off, but if Scizor was back in the hospital wing, hopefully remaining unconscious lest Chimecho actually murder them, then the four of them couldn't sit around doing nothing.
"A little presumptuous to claim we're on a job," Guardian scolded lightly. "To Lucario no less!"
Sean winced. "I just… I don't know."
"I understand," Striker said, nodding. "Does not strike you as you thought?" What happened in the Magnagate was silently agreed not to be talked about. "She did offer that piece of advice, however. This is our chance to understand the moods you've been suffering."
"I knew it wasn't teenage hormones!" Saniya declared.
"You literally bet on that."
"In pretend."
Sean didn't comment. It wasn't that, although Striker was right and he was curious about how she knew fighting would help him, especially since she couldn't have known he hadn't been fighting like that already.
Rather, there was something about her… something that made his stomach turn and twist. That name that Scizor, that Cara, had murmured….
It sounded like….
It couldn't possibly be, though. Lucario was ancient, she was as old as recorded history here. And he was from an entirely different world.
…but he himself was here due to dimensional and time travel.
Ultimately, Sean and Striker wandered up to the guild to find a job while Saniya and Guardian hovered around Spinda's Cafe.
"Were you ever mad at Sean for calling you Guardian and not something that started with the same sound as the rest of us?" she asked randomly.
"No," Guardian lied.
Saniya squinted suspiciously at him.
The boys returned with Lucario in tow and she seemed to be talking animatedly to Striker.
"It's all in the wrist motion," she was saying, demonstrating whatever she was talking about. It looked strange. "We'll get time to practice."
"What did you pick?" Guardian asked.
"Lucario picked it," Sean said, Lucario holding up a crumpled poster.
"We're going to beat someone up!" she said cheerfully. "I really enjoy doing that, but I'll let you guys. I'm sure the four of you taking on deities and such can handle a krokorok.
As they turned towards the town, Lucario reached into her little tiny hip bag and drew out a scratched flask of something bigger than the bag was.
"Are you going to explain yourself?" Saniya asked calmly.
Lucario opened the flask and Saniya's feelers wilted slightly from the stench that emanated from it. She recoiled, gagging as Lucario took a hefty swig.
"One Look," she explained.
"That's not what I asked!"
Lucario smiled. "I need something to get through what's going to happen in town."
"That smells horrific," Saniya coughed. "And that's still what I asked!"
"Tastes even worse," Lucario said, taking another swig.
"You're not always drinking it, are you?" Sean asked as they entered the town.
A few moments later the town started a cheer stampede for Lucario. Her retracted claws came out slightly around the carton and the scratches the metal flask had were explained.
She took another swig.
For Lucario's sake, they did their shopping quickly. The Kecleon Brothers were professional as always but gave them a small discount and Lucario a free apple.
For them, it was a pretty big deal.
"You know, I didn't think pokémon would fall to greed," Lucario commented as they left, quickly walking back to the crossroads. "Introducing money seemed like a good idea. Something 'worthless' except everyone would respect it. Put some order to things without pokémon having to give up food or themselves to pay for help."
"I mean, it seems to work pretty well," Sean said. "It definitely makes sense to me."
"Dimitri and Jessica said the same thing," Lucario said, shrugging. "Kenji's a fucking contrarian though."
"I…" Sean blinked. "Only know one of those."
"Wartortle, Dewott, and Gengar," Lucario explained. "The other three humans before you."
She frowned. "Kenji barely counts though."
Lucario rolled her eyes as she noticed Team Sunrise staring at her. "That fucking name thing too," she said, gathering why they were staring. "I did NOT start that. The only thing I changed was shortening the damn things, so they were actual names, but everyone kept the stupid secrecy thing about it too."
Lucario began to mutter obscenities under her breath and that combined with the One Look held most of the pokémon at bay.
There was a trio of pokémon who began to follow them out of town, however, and with Lucario's muttering, Sean wasn't able to ask the question he wanted to.
She stopped before they moved past the watering hole and turned back to the approaching through.
"I require three items upon my return," Lucario said grandly. "Magenta twine three smoots in length. A ruby pendant in which the sea can be witnessed. And a single plum, floating in honey, served with an edible scarf. Go."
They ran for it.
Lucario rubbed her temples and stepped back into line with Team Sunrise. "That should keep them entertained for a while."
"What did you even ask for?" Striker asked.
"And why did it sound so funny?" Saniya giggled.
"I don't fucking know. Whatever came out of my mouth at the time."
"You swear a lot," Guardian said. She gave him the finger guns.
"So, what job did you pick and how far is it going to take us into the wilds?" Saniya asked.
Lucario handed it to her. "Uh…." Saniya finally looked at the job in question. "Wanted: Krokorok for indecency and that's a… oh boy that's a list." She went red, words stumbling off. Sean glanced up at what was written before Lucario snatched it back.
"You are a child baby thing; you shouldn't be reading. I remember this guy, lol. Alright, this says we got to go to Sicilly. Should be fun."
"Sicilly is the closest town to Treasure Town, right?"
"Indeed." Guardian nodded. "Hardly qualifies as a town, however."
"Well that's something at least," Lucario said, folding the wanted poster. "Beat him up, toss him to Officer Magnezone, he'll work off his debt to society in the iron mines."
"Is it that serious?" Guardian gasped, grabbing the poster. "Oh my." His face turned a strange colour.
"What?" Striker took it as well. He immediately coughed and handed it back to Lucario.
"Good lord, you are all so innocent," she laughed, shaking her head. "I am going to have too much fun today. I cannot fucking wait."
"So, uh…," Sean began, wanting to move the conversation away from that. "Do you have to send pokémon out on errands often?"
Lucario considered the question. Or she was staring at a leaf. Hard to tell. "I don't stick around in towns very often," she answered. "It's always the same, no matter where I go."
"There-there," Saniya said, patting the Legendary Lucario on the head.
"Careful," she said. "I bite."
Saniya poked her on the nose and teleported to avoid the bite that came for her.
"Tee-hee-hee," Saniya giggled, protected behind Guardian. Lucario smirked at her for her daring.
"May I ask why you wanted to join us, today?" Guardian asked, after making sure Saniya wouldn't try that again.
"You may." Lucario nodded.
She didn't answer.
"Uh… why did you want to join us today?" Guardian repeated.
She chuffed a brief laugh at him. "You're a fun one, big guy. I used to know a dusknoir, he had a certain level of 'quiet guilty regret' about him too." Guardian blinked at something so random, but before anyone could ask about the point, she answered him.
"When Team Ion told me about you four, I knew I'd need to swing around to Treasure Town eventually. Finding you carrying Cara out of that forsaken icy tomb almost gave me a heart attack. Doing something I couldn't do." She gave Striker a meaningful smile and he glanced away swiftly. "I'm interested in you guys, see what you're made of."
"What was with the Magnagate?" Saniya blurted out. "Because that was such a douche move."
"I told you it'd be intense," Lucario replied.
"Was it some sort of test?" Guardian asked.
She snorted. "No," she replied, bringing to mind what Scizor had to say about believing she was giving him a test. "I had to move quickly and also had to know if you were going to come through as well, otherwise I'd destroy it once I got to the other side. I don't like taking risks, if I blew it because someone got curious and went in anyway there'd be no coming back from that."
She glanced at Saniya. "Dunno what would happen if a legend got murked in one of those, but there is another celebi around anyway."
Saniya glared darkly at a pear on a tree. "Ah yes, I've heard about them. Stealing half my power after we lost most of it! Tauroshit!"
She attacked the pear and erased it from this place.
"But yes, I had to check out that one anyway." With a sudden Bone Rush in her paw, she poked Sean on the cheek.
"Me?" Sean asked. "Why?"
"I make it a point to visit all the humans that turn up," Lucario said. "Admittedly it's only really been happening for the last twenty years, and you're only the fourth one I know about. Kenji was here before me, but he also doesn't count. Third?"
Lucario wore an expression like she was doing mental maths before shaking her head. "Eh, he's still only been doing shit and causing trouble for years, ancient history be damned."
"You're saying a lot of things that I don't really understand," Sean said. "Am I supposed to?"
"No." Lucario shook her head. "I just talk out loud a lot. I haven't had anyone to really talk to since Cara disappeared, so I returned to the habit of doing it to keep myself at least a little bit sane."
That was a very sad thing to say, but she wasn't looking for sympathy. Lucario clapped her paws before they could even try. "So. You know about me because… who doesn't? I, however, don't know much about you four."
She raised the folding wanted poster. "While we're walking, tell me about yourselves."
It would take at least several hours to get there and back, so Lucario grilled all four of them.
She started with Sean.
"Well, uh, I ended up here just a couple days into leaving for my pokémon journey. A pokémon journey is-"
"I know what it is."
"…Right. So, Giratina snatched me up, and I ended up in the Dark Future with no idea…"
"I'm asking about you, not your life story."
Saniya was next.
"Besides playing with fire, what are you into, pinkie?"
"Pie!"
"Delicious. Now spill the beans. Who are you?"
"I am Saniya the celebi of beauty, grace, and throwing a mace."
Lucario laughed. "You'd hardly find a mace around here. Still, go on. Hit me with some rambling thoughts, you seem like the kind."
Saniya's eyes widened. No one ever asked her to just talk for talking's sake.
Guardian put his hand up, trying to stop her. "Lucario, be warned she can talk for-"
He was too late.
"Six days ago I woke up with a crick in my neck because I slept on my side all night. I wanted to sleep on Striker's belly, but he was on his back and sitting on his back is mean, and I was also really wanting to see Giratina but no amount of yelling at mirrors works. They're just not there, and it makes me really sad because Giratina raised me and before we disappeared in the future we talked, and we agreed we were parent and child, but Giratina wouldn't remember me here, and that's really just not fair because we were together my whole life. I never told anyone how old I am, but I know, because I could keep time in the timeless time, but it was hard, and I could never really be sure I was entirely right about it all, but I think I was."
Saniya took a breath. "But so there I was, wanting to sleep but I couldn't get comfortable. I thought about sleeping in Guardian's belly mouth, but that's super weird, and I wouldn't want to do that anyway it was just a thought because how would it be like? Is it like… gross in there? I'm not supposed to ask, he might eat me by accident anyway and that'd be stupid. I bet the other celebi of this time wouldn't care if I died because we're sharing our Power, I bet you know all about Legendary Pokémon and that shared source of Power thing? Is it the same for you? They call you 'Legendary' but is it just a name or are you literally a Legendary lucario? Is that why you're still alive even though you're so old? But your fur is all faded anyway, so that's probably not it. It's just me. If I died the other celebi would get full strength but fuck him. If HE died, I wouldn't be so weak. I can't believe I'm this weak, I'm Celebi! A goddess! I used to be the strongest in the team and now… well, I'm not the weakest, I'm probably still the strongest but not as much anymore."
She took another breath. "And another thing, about my neck, it's still aching. I slept well last night, well, besides all the horrible dreams we all have. It's not everyone in the guild, just us four. Azumarill says it's something-something trauma, but I hate it. The nightmares are so constant that they barely bother me anymore except the ones about Soothe. I dream of her being choked by shadows and stabbing Darkrai. She apparently killed Darkrai, they think she's a Shadow Pokémon now, but that's impossible. We're all fine, none of us are or ever were Shadow Pokémon. No matter how bad Guardian got, he just wanted to live. Soothe wasn't a Shadow Pokémon, I'd know it. I'm sure I would."
She took yet another breath. "So, you wanted to know about me, right? Well, I got named by Sean. He named us all. We all got words starting with the ess-sound, but not Guardian. We joke that's why he turned against us, but obviously, that's not it. We saved the world! But this is about me. Uh, well, I got raised by Giratina. I like making jokes and talking a lot. People think I can be a bit much at times, so I've been working on that with Azumarill, but it's tough sometimes. She says my humour and wackiness is a kind of personality trait I developed to survive the Dark Future, but the others aren't like that. I WAS there a lot longer than them, though, so who knows? I don't like Armaldo. He arrested Guardian and is a bastard all the time. Bug-type's are okay, even though they are stupid strong against me now. That's why I have Ancient Power to smack them like the bitches they are. I really like to tease Sean and flirt with Striker. Striker's voice is HAWT, have you heard him? He doesn't talk much."
She took a breath and then sighed, "Hoo. Okay, I'm done. I feel better! I wonder if this would help Vigoroth?"
"Very informative," Lucario said, nodding. "Maybe a little much," she added, looking very pointedly at the mouth on Guardian's abdomen. "But fun all the way. We'll leave the ghosty-ghoul for last. Striker, was it?"
"There's not a lot to say, really," Striker said.
"He likes orbs!" Saniya interjected.
"Orbs, really?" Lucario smirked. "Good lord, you are NOT going to survive today."
"I have an appreciation for the various and powerful uses orbs provide," Striker explained, tensely. "Saniya claims I have an 'orbsession' but-"
"You do." Saniya nodded.
"Yep," Sean added.
"She is not wrong," Guardian rumbled.
"I do NOT have an orbsession! That's a made-up word, and it sounds stupid."
"You wanted to name Blizzard Island's main dungeon Orb Central," Saniya pointed out. Striker opened his mouth to rebut the point but found he had no words.
He sighed and lowered his hand. "Despite what they may say," he grumbled. "I'm the most collected member of the team."
"You do seem to be the strong silent type," Lucario said. "Well, besides balls, what are you into?"
"Stop saying it like that!"
"Fine, besides the orbsession, what are into?"
Striker gave a weary sigh. There was no sanctity in the world.
"I rescued Striker when he was a treecko," Sean explained. "He's a really strong pokémon."
"Exceptionally loyal and steadfast," Guardian said. "He never faltered, unlike myself."
"Also, HAWT!" Saniya said. She got Looks from everyone besides Lucario. "What? It's true."
"You have quite the one-track mind," Lucario snorted. "I want to hear some of this from Striker himself." She turned to the grovyle. "Come on. A little pride doesn't hurt anyone."
"It's hardly a matter of embarrassment," Striker said. "The name comes from the fact that I am the strongest battler in the group."
"Oi!" Saniya and Guardian snapped at the same time.
"I was, and still am, stronger than you!" Saniya declared.
"Doesn't' mean you're the strongest battler," Striker pointed out.
"We were evenly matched even when I was a dusclops," Guardian said.
"And we continued to be evenly matched when you evolved," Striker retorted. "I think that says more about me than you."
"I think I can easily prove how much I was holding back for Scout's sake."
"I can show you the same thing!"
"Girls, girls," Saniya said, floating between them, waving her hands to placate them. "You're both pretty."
Lucario laughed. "I like you."
"I like me, too!"
"Yes, yes, we all like Saniya," Guardian said. "My apologies, Lucario. We can get somewhat rowdy at times."
She waved him off. "Go wild as you want, it's nice to actually be treated as just another pokémon for once." She nodded to Guardian. "Well, it's just you that I haven't grilled yet. Saniya said a couple of interesting things for sure, and I've heard plenty about you all, but still. I like to hear it from the pokémon in question."
She gave him a smirk, but there was a dangerous edge to it that made them nervous. "So, Guardian, tell me about yourself."
Guardian hesitated, nervous suddenly. It was surprisingly easy to forget this was the Legendary Lucario with her behaviour. He considered the fact she said she had come here just to see them. For Sean, supposedly, but he wondered if he himself was a concern.
She'd be foolish if it wasn't, and he doubted she was foolish.
"There are certain things lost to my memory due to the paradox wiping the Dark Future out, but I still remember enough. I took in Scout after finding him among his deceased parents, still alive but starving. I raised him as my son, and we took to banditry to survive, a regretful thing I assure you."
"As regretful as what comes later?" she asked, raising an eye.
Sean frowned at her as Guardian cringed. "Well, no."
"Same thing with Sean, I'm not here to listen to your life story no matter how interesting it is."
"What do you want to hear, then?"
Lucario shrugged. "I dunno. I would prefer it if you relaxed a bit. I don't think you're going to be any trouble for anyone anymore. I've already seen enough to tell that you're okay."
"Ah." He did relax a bit. "You let me think you were, however?" he accused.
She shrugged. "I just asked you to tell me about yourself. Anything you thought I intended by that was you."
"You knew what he'd think, though," Sean pointed out. "That was mean, Guardian's suffered enough."
She eyed him through the corner of her vision, he looked most stern it was adorable. Lucario nodded. "Fair enough. Sorry, you can probably tell I don't talk to many people."
"I apologise as well," Guardian said, "for jumping to conclusions."
Lucario nodded and gave him a finger gun. "So. Now that that's out of the way. Can you tell me why the four of you relaxed so soon around me? Or at least didn't treat me as some sort of divine prophet? Not complaining, just maddeningly curious to see if I can repeat it."
The four of them shared some glances and curious looks. There wasn't really an entire answer.
"Well, Team Ion DID mention that you're… not like the stories say," Sean began.
"We haven't really dealt with it ourselves due to a bit of difficulty with the town, but Shinx and Litleo have expressed their frustration with the attention," Striker added.
"And Chikirota, Charzies, and Dimitri also would ramble on when they were getting drunk with us about their fans," Saniya giggled. "Sean's not allowed to drink, though."
"I never should have told you about human laws," Sean grumbled.
"Oh yeah, the go-getters are around here too aren't they? I should pay them a visit too."
"I think," Guardian said, "it may also be affected by our time in the Dark Future. You weren't as well known there due to a breakdown in community. Besides, well…."
"Besides Luka Caro Town!" Saniya scoffed, she fluttered over to Lucario and began playing with her aura tassels. "Three guesses as to where THAT name comes from."
"Don't tell me," Lucario said, flatly. "Absol?"
"Nope."
"Dunsparce?"
"Uh-uh."
"Was it a town that was basically a cult based around me?"
"Bingo-bango, you win the thingo!"
"Oh boy," Lucario cheered, still entirely flat in voice. "What's the thingo?"
"More trauma!"
"Goodie."
She cleared her throat. "Uh… you were going to tell me about a cult in my name?"
"Well… the town was built around you," Guardian said, being the most equipped to continue talking. "Literally. You were unfortunately frozen in time as well."
"So, that's where I was when everything went to hell," Lucario said, nodding. "Probably slept okay for once."
"I suppose… well, the town was built around you on the matters of harmony and unity. Luka Caro Town was the largest town I ever saw in the Dark Future, one of the least dangerous as well."
"Something good at least."
"Oh, and there was a legend in the town!" Saniya said, her memory was clearer than any of them. "Saying that when the end of the world came, you'd unfreeze and save the loyal pokémon there!"
Lucario stared at her, raising an eye. "Well. You could say they waited too long, and their time ran out."
Guardian coughed.
"Okay, fine, don't laugh."
"It wasn't very funny," Saniya said. "Bit in poor taste."
"I suppose so." She glanced towards Striker; he was holding a very composed expression. She poked him with a Bone Rush. "What's up?"
He gave her a frown. She poked him again. "What's up?" she insisted.
"Nothing important."
"Would it help if I said I'm sorry?" she asked. Striker frowned. "Something's up."
"Erasing the Dark Future erased the pokémon as well," Striker snapped. "Many pokémon supported the Planetary Investigation Team's goals, but it was still an entire world that was erased. Only we are still alive, Scout, and apparently, Soothe. It simply doesn't seem fair."
Lucario nodded. "Fair enough. Survivors guilt is a rake up the back, I can say that from experience." She paused. "The guilt side of things," she clarified. "Although, there was that one time… so many dungeons."
"That reminds me," Sean said. "You knew about you being able to join us even though that brings the number to five."
Lucario smirked. "Even if it wasn't fine, I can handle whatever the dungeon tries to spit out. But yeah, I do know that you don't 'count' on the dungeon count."
"How?"
"It was the same for Dimitri. Tested it with Kenji and Jessica too. Six is too much, but five is fine. You counterbalance one pokémon, which is neat enough. Four pokémon aren't your usual team because rescues can be compromised by adding a fifth, but it works without any problems for you."
"Do you know why?" Sean asked. "If anyone would it'd probably be you."
"I'm a smart pokémon for sure, but I hardly know everything."
"Damn," Sean sighed. "Just another mystery then."
"What's life without a bit of mystery?" Lucario asked, smiling with a gleam in her eyes. Saniya caught it and gave her a suspicious look, but she didn't ask.
Lucario continued to chat with them as they walked. The ice had been broken, raised again, and broken a few times again to fully relax Team Sunrise.
Saniya was entirely fine. Guardian was next to treat her about as normally as he'd treat any he respected. Sean was next, he was pretty in awe of Lucario but wouldn't say it. Striker, difficult as he was, was last to really treat her like anyone else.
Via largely remaining silent. It was his normal state with the company that Team Sunrise didn't really know.
Sicilly was tiny.
It was a collection of about twelve homes. It didn't even take the moniker of Sicilly Town because it was hardly a town.
The minuscule nature of the place wasn't their concern, however. Plus, if word spread that the Legendary Lucario stepped foot there, pokémon would flock to it to follow her path and sniff her footprints.
Entering the hamlet, they were greeted by a seedot swinging on a tree branch. "Hey. What'r y'all doing out here?"
They looked up to him. "Looking for a deviant krokorok," Saniya answered, fluttering up to him. "Have you seen him around?"
"I reckon he went thataway." Seedot gestured with a foot. "A couple of deputy magnemite come knocking around for him too. Ah pointed 'em along, but ah haven't seen 'em since."
"Thank you."
"I like your accent," Lucario said, nodding to him before they left.
"Thank ya, kindly. Ah've been practising it."
"Have fun, cowboy," she said, running after Team Sunrise before they could leave her behind.
They found several magnemite lying unconscious part way on the other side of the hamlet. It took five minutes to enter and leave and another two just to stumble across them.
Saniya fluttered down to them, worried. She waggled her fingers and sprinkled some glittering water on them, calling upon a Life Dew to revitalise them.
"BZZT! We are conscious. BZZT!" one of the magnemite said, floating up.
"Not well, though," Saniya warned.
"BZZT! You are correct. BZZT!"
"We're here for Krokorok," Striker said, picking the other one up who was having more trouble rising up. "Did he do this?"
"BZZT! Correct. BZZT!"
"What way did he go?" Sean asked, frowning.
"BZZT! Follow the path. He shouldn't be too far away. BZZT!"
Saniya sprinkled some more healing water on the magnemite Striker picked up, and it floated woozily with the other one. Team Sunrise shared a nod and ran off, Lucario kept up a sedate pace, sauntering after them.
The magnemite were not kidding when they said Krokorok wouldn't be far away.
He was, in fact, right through the trees. Where the town met the forest and then gave way to a rocky outcropping of dirt and hills, Krokorok waited.
Striker, eager to prove himself the best battler from their earlier debate, ran in first. He was Striker, he struck first and struck hard to wipe their enemies out in one fell blow.
That was the plan, at least. Hopping rapidly on the ground to close in on the krokorok wasn't conducive to stealth, and he ended up tripping.
"Gah, what?" Striker gasped, being thrown onto his face and losing his sack of orbs.
They rolled out of his reach, and he looked back as vines entangled his legs and going further.
"You good, there?" Krokorok asked. "Mind if I grab your balls?" he asked, picking up one of the orbs.
"Get away from them!" Striker snapped, and his arms flashed. He did as Lucario advised earlier, with a particular flick of his wrist and launched a ranged Leaf Blade, leaving a glancing blow on Krokorok's belly. He stumbled back from the blow, more surprised than hurt.
Striker tried to start slashing at the vines holding him, annoying evidence of a Grass Knot ensnaring him.
Krokorok didn't press the advantage, he had, simply backing up and eyes flashing green as he maintained the Grass Knot on Striker. The rest of Team Sunrise came barrelling over loudly, yelling at Striker for getting caught.
"Why did you run so far ahead?" Sean demanded, scrabbling down the side of an incline. Krokorok had busied himself in a crevice of sorts. It was too large to really be seen as one, but it was a large, dug-out, area with nothing but rocks and dirt.
Saniya flew down and as the next most fast, she attacked Krokorok next. "Your reign of terror is done, Krokorok!" Saniya boomed, flying at him like a pink missile.
Sean reached Striker as Saniya impacted Krokorok. She tackled him first, as he was a Dark-type and thus immune to being thrown with Psychic. He stumbled back from the blow to his neck and coughed, swiping out. She weaved around the clumsy blow, channelling her Power to form a devastating Magical Leaf.
"Hey," he called, coughing. "I'm not so bad. They're making things up about me! How do you even know I committed any lewd acts?"
"I said NOTHING about lewdness, you pervert!" Saniya yelled, sending hundreds of glowing leaves at him. "You give pokémon like Scout a bad name!"
"Ow! Hey! Quit it! Ouchies!" He jumped and hopped back. "Aww come on, I was only advertising my services!"
He flicked his claw, and more vines exploded around Striker. "See? He's fine."
Saniya gave him a dangerous look as Guardian caught up to her. "Scout is NOT a night-mate," he growled at her.
"Sure. Take him together?" she asked.
"Woah. Hang on there," Krokorok gasped, raising his hands. "Both of you at once? That costs a lot extra."
"Cease," Guardian demanded. "Come quietly, and we won't have to hurt you."
"Now you're definitely doing it on purpose. Come quietly?" he scoffed. Guardian blasted him with a Shadow Ball.
It didn't do a whole lot, but it was the principle of the matter.
Saniya and Guardian began to double-team him while Sean worked on tearing the Grass Knot off Striker. "Can't you get out of this yourself?" Sean snapped, snapping several vines that tried to grab him.
"If I COULD I WOULD," Striker retorted, slashing at them with Leaf Blades. They only cut so far; the Grass Knot was surprisingly powerful.
Lucario finally arrived at the battlefield, and she stared down at the divot they were tussling in. She found a nice rock and sat down on it, content to watch this from afar.
It wasn't going well. Saniya was peppering Krokorok with a lot of leaves, but he continued to joke back at her. She glanced at the bag Krokorok wore, he had one hand suspiciously buried in it while he continued trying to reason with Saniya.
"Half off," he said.
"NO!"
"I think the grovyle is interested. Trialling is free, but tips are always nice."
"Cease!" Guardian demanded, opening his belly mouth to charge up a much more powerful Shadow Ball. That was what Krokorok was waiting for, however, his hand flew out of his bag and swiftly tossed a seed. Guardian spluttered before his eye rolled and he fell to the ground.
"Guardian!" Saniya shrieked, flying to his side. "What did the nasty thing do to you?"
"Sleep seed," Krokorok answered. "Handy for escaping from pesky adventurers like you."
"I am going to adventure your FACE!" Saniya yelled.
"That's going to cost triple since you're a gal."
Saniya began hitting him in the head with a rock she levitated.
"Ow. Ow. Ow. Kinky costs double. Ow." He caught the rock in a hand and crushed it. "Okay. So, trialling IS free, but I'm getting the feeling you're not interested."
"Finally!" Saniya said, raising her fists. "Put em up, and I'll take you mon-a-mon."
"…Getting mixed signals here?"
"EeeeeEEE!" Saniya raised a bitch-slapping hand and flew in ready to beat him purple. Krokorok evaded her strikes, sharp and savage as they were. He got her foot with a Grass Knot, but she exploded it and rained grassy pulp on the krokorok.
"This is a good idea for advertisement," he said, licking the thick fluid off a claw.
"Cease," Saniya demanded. She flew at him, aiming to choke him a little for aggravating her. Lucario was watching from afar and shook her head at Saniya's foolhardiness.
Krokorok's eyes betrayed a glint of a smirk as he jumped back. Saniya, who had already begun to brake to properly break him, was caught flat-footed in the air. Still moving, she was grabbed by Krokorok as his hands flashed with Dark Energy.
Spinning to get a little extra momentum, Krokorok threw Saniya with all the force she had gathered right back at Striker and Sean. Sean, who had given up on helping Striker, had moved to help Saniya and barely ducked underneath her being thrown as she screamed. "SOMEONE HOT GET IN MY WAAAY!"
She collided with Striker, and they both were knocked sprawling.
"I think she'll thank me later," Krokorok said, eying how they had collapsed together. He glanced down as Sean came running. "Ooh, another customer to please!"
"I'm a kid," Sean snapped, and Krokorok froze.
"I… shit."
Sean punched him in the stomach with a flat palm, sending a blast of energy through it. The Force Palm knocked Krokorok off his feet, and he rolled a few times as Sean shook his paw. The knockback from Force Palm always stung.
He glanced to Guardian snoozing peacefully on the ground and began searching for an item.
Krokorok gasped out as he pulled himself back onto his feet. "It's always the children," he growled. "You're not supposed to beat the children, they say. Well fuck that, you hit me first."
Sean dropped a healing seed in Guardian's belly mouth and returned to Krokorok, who had chomped down an oran berry for the blow and was right in the middle of retaliating.
Sand blasted out from below Sean and trapped him in a spinning vortex of a million tiny rocks. Sean gasped and choked as sand went up his nose and into his mouth and batted out in every direction to try and push the Sand Tomb away.
Krokorok stepped forth to deliver the finishing blow, but he was caught by shadows. "Uh… tendrils are my thing. I'll sue," he complained before Guardian rose out from his shadow and socked him in the jaw with a fist covered in ice. "Oooh, can I have some ice for that hit?"
Guardian obliged.
"I was kidding! Stop fisting me!"
That did make him stop, flustering Guardian just enough to trap him with a Sand Tomb as well.
Saniya, who had enjoyed laying on Striker's chest for a bit, rose back up to attack and was immediately trapped when an orb of dark energy appeared around her. "Hey! What gives?"
Krokorok's eyes glowed dark red as he caught Sean and Guardian with it as well. Panting for breath but still very much in control. "Mean Look," he sighed, relieved it was working. "Well, that won't hold you for long, so I'm off. See ya. Tell your friends! Tell your family! Tell Scout, hi. He'll know what it means."
Saniya was already beginning to overwhelm the lock the Mean Look placed on her, but he was running quite fast.
"Not yet!" Striker yelled, pulling up a trail of dust as he ran between Krokorok and the exit. "We're not finished!"
"Well, I never leave a customer unsatisfied," Krokorok smirked.
"Cease," Striker growled.
"Whatever you want." He winked, hiding the flash of green in his eye. Striker jumped before the Grass Knot could snare him again, which was a surprise.
He had also jumped FOR Krokorok, arms glowing green with a devastating Leaf Blade on both arms.
Krokorok was nothing if not adaptable to his clients and spun around, swiping with his tail and catching Striker in mid-air with it.
The blow was hard, but he also latched onto his tail and planted his feet firmly on the ground.
"So, tails are your thing?" Krokorok teased, but the tease didn't succeed in getting Striker to let go. "Okay handsome, I'm flattered, but I've got to go now. We can talk about tails later."
Striker grit his teeth and pulled, knocking the balance out and raising his arm to slash again. Krokorok caught his arm with both claws, and they struggled for a moment.
Panting for breath, Krokorok grinned and gave a lecherous wink, a pink love heart coming from it and smacking Striker in the face. His grip slackened for just a moment, enough for Krokorok to free a hand.
Then Krokorok dropped an orb. The same one Striker had lost. It broke on the ground and activated, blasting Striker in the chest and causing several more orbs to drop.
"Hot damn. A mug orb!" Krokorok cheered. "Not gonna ask where those came from, though." He shattered another one under his foot, recognising it, and covered his head as the three pokémon behind him broke through the Mean Look.
The Luminous Orb blinded everyone besides Krokorok, and Lucario who had also looked away, and Striker felt himself get grabbed.
He yelled out but was released quickly, and he himself be thrown.
Krokorok doubled down on that finishing move, grappling Striker and using his strength against him with Foul Play to score the grovyle like a bowling ball against the other three. "Strike!" he called, dashing up the cliffside. He saluted to Team Sunrise, who were trying to recover from the blinding. "You almost got me; I'm impressed. Grovyle, feel free to contact me. Liepard in Towny Town will know where you can find me. Ask for Killer!"
Sean positively recoiled. "No," he muttered, shaking his head. "Nooo."
Killer paused. "Uh... not named for the reason you're thinking of. It's for the little death." He winked and clicked his tongue. "See ya! I'll be waiting."
"Lucario!" Saniya yelled, feeling around blindly. "STOP HIM!"
Krokorok, who was standing right by her as he taunted Team Sunrise, glanced at the pokémon who had moved from sitting to lying down. "See ya, sis," he said, pointing to her.
"Catcha bro," Lucario pointed back and did nothing as he escaped.
She watched Team Sunrise stagger about with amusement until their eyes recovered.
"Where is he?" Saniya yelled, rising up like an enraged goddess. "I will feed his blood to the honeysuckles and grow dicksuckles!"
"Not that that wouldn't be a million Poké idea," Lucario said, before giving a disgusted expression. "I-Ugh, I need to not say things like that. But anyway, I dunno."
"You LET him go!" Sean yelled.
Lucario shrugged. Striker and Guardian could not quite make words.
Sean breathed, trying to keep calm. "Why did you let him go?"
"It was your job," Lucario laughed. "I was only here to watch. If I did everything for you, what would you learn?"
"We learned that you're a bastard," Saniya growled.
"Well, I can assure you my parents were not together, so you're not wrong in that regard."
"I don't know what you mean, and I hate you for it!"
"Calm down. He was hardly an actual outlaw. Pokémon can be a little too sensitive." She waved Krokorok's wanted poster. "This is less of a problem and more of a grievance. It's also a private takedown request and not one sanctioned by Officer Magnezone." She tossed the wanted poster over to prove it.
Sean was still not allowed to read it, and Saniya took it from him. There it was. Sudowoodo had put this up, the poster had simply been worded to make it seem like he needed to be taken to Officer Magnezone.
"But… the magnemite?"
"Not all magnemite are members of Team Magnezone, now are they?" Lucario asked, getting to her feet. "And, I mean, he still was 'breaking the law' so no one would have told you off if you had taken him down. Still, that was fucking hilarious to watch."
"Well I still have one more question," Saniya said. "Are you related to him?"
Lucario blinked.
"He called you sis, and you called bro."
She blinked again. "You know, I just can't really take blaziken as a species seriously anymore."
"What does this have to do with what I asked?" Saniya demanded. Took her two more seconds to crack. "Why?"
"When you've seen what I've see-ugh." Lucario actually gave a full-body shiver. "It just... ugh. No, I don't want to talk about it."
Sean raised a paw. "I... kinda want to ask."
"Ask, and you perish."
"...What happened?"
Lucario sighed and created a Bone Rush. This one was different from the normal glowing bone. It had a second one crossed over it like the hilt of a sword. Lucario thrummed with Power, her tassels shivering, and an ethereal glowing blade formed from the tip of the long side crossing down like a triangle to the sides of the hilt.
"You asked," she said, pointing her Aura Blade at Sean. "Time to perish."
Team Sunrise had discussed going after Krokorok. While he had embarrassed them a bit, he had run rather than continue the fight and Sean was confident they could catch him if they took chase.
"No, we are not going all the way to Towny Town for an outlaw!" Striker growled through his teeth.
"Why not!?" Sean demanded, stomping his foot on the ground. "Just have Liepard give us the info, you get in touch with Krokorok, we capture him, and we can go back home without our tails between our legs."
"Yeah, Striker?" Lucario leaned down a bit with her hands on her hips. The teasing smirk on her face said it all. "You got his name and everything, surely you're interested?"
Striker coughed and resolved to never look at anyone ever again.
Ultimately, however, it was decided to drop the matter.
Disappointed, and tired of the day, they made their way back to Treasure Town. Lucario got them talking pretty quickly, her endless persistence overwhelming even their grumpy attitude at her behaviour.
Or their failing, as she liked to remind them.
"Hey, remember when the prostitute fucked you all up?" Lucario teased.
"I will commit murder," Guardian threatened. "Again."
There were pokémon waiting for them when they got back because of course there were. It was the three pokémon Lucario had given nonsensical demands of and the three lit up like a moth on fire when she came into sight.
"Oh, Legendary Lucario," the first of the three, Sneasel said. "I present to you magenta twine, three smoots in length." He presented a purple rope about five meters long. Lucario picked it up, genuinely surprised he knew the length.
"Oh, Legendary Lucario, I present to thee a ruby pendant in which the sea can be witnessed." The second of the three, Noibat, bowed deeply, setting the pendant on the ground. She picked it up, bemused.
"The sea can be seen?" she asked, dubiously.
"Oh yes, just…" Noibat nervously fluttered into the air. "J-just look at it… this way." He pointed her to the left, and she raised it.
"Well… I'll be." She could, in fact, see the sea from where they were. She could see it without the pendant, of course, but the thought amused her.
"Oh great and powerful Legendary Lucario," the third and final, Minccino, said. "To thus, I present my task. A single plum, floating in honey, served with an edible scarf."
The scarf had dirt, sticks, fur, and bugs on it. But it sure was edible.
"Thanks…." Lucario took it hesitantly, fighting to not just drop it and shatter the creatures entire dreams. She's done it before, and the results were messy, so she wasn't eager to deal with that again. "You three have done a good. A good. Now, go away."
They vanished quickly, floating off, chests heaving with excitement. Lucario looked to the items she now had. "Well… I'm going to keep these two." She stuffed the first two items into her tiny little knapsack. "This… can… go."
She rid herself of the stickiness and relaxed, knowing it was away from her now.
"It's time for alcohol now, right?" she asked, pulling the flask out and tipping it over to reveal just a sad drop was left.
The grass died where that drop fell.
"Armaldo isn't going to be happy with failure," Guardian sighed, glancing up at the guild.
"Have you failed before?" Lucario asked, looking at the entrance to Spinda's Café.
"Well, no. We haven't."
"How do you know he won't be happy? He might pat you on the back for trying."
"Armaldo doesn't seem like the type."
"Heh." She gestured to the guild. "You can go off to get shouted at, I'm going to go drink."
"You are just an asshole, aren't you?"
She winked and gave them finger guns. "Now you're catching on."
She descended into the café. There was a brief uproar of noise, but it quietened quickly.
None of them were eager to go to the guild.
"Do you want to follow her?" Sean asked.
"You're not allowed to drink."
"It's a café, I think I can have something else."
Really not eager to deal with Armaldo; they ended up following.
Inside the café, Lucario had been welcomed very warmly. Too warmly. There were three different pokémon that tried to hug her, and one of them succeeded by jumping onto her shoulders from behind.
It was Grookey and only the fact that he was a child stopped her from dunking him like a basketball.
Rillaboom extracted her child, utterly mortified, and Lucario brushed it off. She could deal with children, it was when the adults tried that she had an issue.
A crowd of pokémon parted before her, no one eager to get in Lucario's way as she made her way to Spinda's counter.
"Hello, hello, hellllooooo," he swooned, doing a lazy twirl. "Welcome to Spinda's! Spinda's… café."
"Dramatic," Lucario said, taking the pause as a build-up moment. "What drinks do you have?"
"What drinks do you want…? Legendary Lucario?"
"Just Lucario," she said, very firmly. "Goes for ALL of you," she raised her voice. "I'm just another patron tonight."
"So modest."
"Wow, it's Lucario."
"She's fine."
She gave a sigh, turning back to Spinda. "Alcohol," she said.
"What… kind… do you… want?"
"The kind that gets me as dizzy as you are," she said.
Spinda gave her a loopy smile. "One Spinda Special coming up!"
"A Spinda Special!?" Across the room, Wynaut jumped up excitedly. They raced over as fast as their little legs would take them. "How exciting! No one asks for that!"
"Why not?" Lucario asked, the barest edge of a smile curling at her lips.
Wynaut paused for a brief moment, and Lucario's lips twitched again. "Heh. Uh, well Spinda's Special is pretty strong! An explosion of flavours too intense for anyone besides him to handle more than once!"
"It takes a goooooood… shake," Spinda slurred, swaying around as he mixed the drink and splashing it a little. "Some salt and some line and some Dragon's Breath Wine made from the finest spelon berries."
"I do like a kick to my drink," she said approvingly.
"Extra for you, then! Oooohh."
"So, Lucario?" Wynaut asked. She turned back to them, already pleased they didn't add legendary to the address. "Wobbuffet and I run an exploration group known as Project P."
"Oh, so you're the brains behind Team Frontier?" Lucario asked, genuinely stunning Wynaut.
"You… remember them?"
Lucario shrugged. "I stayed in the Shaymin Village longer than I normally stick around, Mawile had a looooooot of questions. Hard to forget her."
"Mawile will be delighted, I'm sure!" Wynaut nodded. "You're somewhat in luck, Machoke and Breloom are here!" They waved over to a table where the two pokémon sat with drinks and a plate of food each.
Neither was so bold to approach, and Wynaut shook their head at them. "You're a rather big deal here, I think a lot of the pokémon are nervous about approaching."
"Hm." She wasn't averse to not being crawled upon by clamouring fans. But some simple company and being treated normally wouldn't irk her in the least. Lucario considered just taking a drink and sharing it with Team Sunrise, but she had the feeling she was wearing them down, and she didn't need them uncomfortable around her for a whole different reason.
Not this soon at least.
"Mawile isn't here, though?" she asked.
Wynaut shook their head. "Mawile has elected to leave Team Frontier, actually." They sighed a little, sadly. "We at Project P support all new horizons, but it is a little sad to lose a member. She stayed in Shaymin Village to research the place, and I hear she met a kindred spirit in an ampharos."
"Well, hopefully they're a good fit together," Lucario said, she glanced back to Spinda wondering how long this drink would take. She saw him adding several fancy colours to it and it was beginning to smoke. She decided she wouldn't bother him.
"So, I was wondering if you would sponsor Project P!" Wynaut said, cheerfully smiling at her.
Lucario considered it. It was a bit presumptuous to ask the famous pokémon to sponsor their thing so soon. "What do you have in mind?" she asked.
"Only your word of approval!" Wynaut beamed. They glanced around and leaned in. "I don't know if you know this, but even just your word of approval would definitely broaden our horizons. Word tends to spread quickly around here."
"And everywhere," Lucario replied, having leaned in as well. Leaning back, she said. "Well, I… hmm." She glanced at Wynaut again. "I'm having trouble working out how to refer to you."
"Wynaut! Or, would like my name?"
"I always like names."
"My name is Maybe!"
Lucario's expression was entirely serene for a moment. Then she couldn't help but laugh a little. "Of course. I couldn't have guessed. I guess I'll be blunt, guy, gal, other, or they?"
"I prefer they," Wynaut replied, equally as cheerful as ever, but there was a sense of sternness to it.
Lucario nodded. "Fair enough." She raised her voice. "I'll support Project P."
Wynaut, knowing what she was doing, beamed gratefully at her and Spinda miraculously finished with the drink moments later.
She took a generous sip and considered the flavour. She swallowed and hummed. "Oh yeah, this makes sense."
"Give me some of that," a banette said, materialising next to Lucario. "Spinda never gives me the good stuff."
"You… can't handle it," Spinda accused.
"I'll be the judge of that!"
Amused, Lucario did the let the Ghost-type drink some of that multicoloured toxin. "Ooh yeah, this will definitely kill me." She reached for it again, but Lucario took it away.
"Get your own."
"Yeah, bitch!" Saniya said, materialising on Lucario's other side. She snatched the drink and took a sip and then burst into flames. "Ow."
Ludicolo burst through the wall with a Water Gun and doused her.
"I've got a veeeerrrry special dance to do!" he yelled to the cheering crowd. "To the lucario of legend! Years ago the saviour of myself. The dance was done before it begun, but I dance on thanks to you hun! She got me my medicine, so I better return the favour with something sweet! Bellossom's get READY!"
The dance would not be described. Guardian took Sean out of Spinda's Café for no reason.
Lucario enjoyed it though. "I can gel with this kind of attention," she laughed, tipping Ludicolo for the dance afterwards. "You're still a few centuries too young for me, though."
"You saw it here, folks!" Ludicolo laughed, stumbling away from the full force of the dance he had done. "Hoo, I need some water."
He was quickly attended to by the bellossom.
Lucario laughed more that night than she had in years.
In respect for not killing herself with alcohol, Guardian ended up taking her out when the party wound down.
"I can walk, you know," she said, resisting his guidance. "Steel-type, immune to poison."
"That doesn't work like that," Guardian said.
"Alcohol is poison," she sang.
"And you are still intoxicated."
"Let's go to the beach!" she said, prying herself from him to wander. She was remarkably steady on her feet for someone who had challenged Banette to a drinking contest and WON.
"I… fine."
"You're the daddy-type, aren't you?" Lucario asked as they headed.
"Excuse me?"
"All fatherly and responsible and taking care of everyone around you."
"Oh…"
"Also, you totally have that-"
"Must you finish that?"
"I didn't need to finish that last drink, but I did it anyway." She randomly laughed. "Ah… you know, Felix would never let me drink. I mean, sure, he was technically 'not allowed to buy it' himself but pffft when did the 'rules' ever stop us?"
"I don't know who that is."
"No… I suppose you wouldn't." Lucario walked in some gentle silence for a moment, the sounds of the sea getting louder. "You kinda remind me a dusknoir I once knew."
"I think you said that before?"
"Probably. He had a similar sense of guilt about him that you do, for different reasons of course. Heh, stupid ones but reasons, nonetheless. I hope I didn't kill him; I don't think I did. He was tough. I don't really know if any of them survived Kyurem, though."
"Lucario," Guardian said softly. "I don't understand what you are talking about."
She sighed. "No… you wouldn't. I'm sorry. For being a bitch today."
"It's alright."
"Is it though? You saved Cara and he hasn't even brought up Dancer yet. I decided that he hated me, you know? For doing that."
Guardian stared at her. He knew that name, the Dread Tyrant Dancer. The last major victory The Legendary Lucario had in recorded history, shortly before her student vanished. Rumours were abound for decades.
"Dancer?" he ventured, carefully.
Lucario didn't seem to hear him. "I eventually thought he had just left. I didn't even blame him for that. I dunno, was I really even looking for him on that stupid frozen island?"
"Lucario, I don't understand."
"Mmm." They reached the beach and Lucario lay down in the sand, making a sand angel for a while.
Guardian watched her, low flickerings of concern in his eye. Saniya joined them, teleporting in and joining her on the sand, but by digging a hole instead.
Striker had taken Sean to the guild hours ago. But Sean grew worried, and eventually, the two of them showed up as well, Lucario continued widening her sand angel.
"I was wondering something today," Sean said, yawning slightly. It was a terrible time to be awake. "Are you human? Or WERE you human if you're going to be pedantic about the wording?"
Lucario's expression was blank for a hard moment, and she stopped her movements. Sean feared he'd asked too much. Then she made a whistle-pitch sound that devolved into wheezing laughter. "Oh my gosh. The amount of times I've been asked that since Dimitri fucking turned out. Holy balls."
She shook her head, eyeing Sean. "No. I'm not human. Never was human. What I am is human enough in mind that I was 'fit' for this 'task'." She gave air quotations when she said that. "But I've always been a pokémon. This life and the last. And NO, I'm not a humie either."
Sean blinked. "A... humie?" Saniya looked up from her sandcastle.
"Humie!" Lucario exclaimed, giggling with intoxication she denied being under. "You know, it's like the opposite, but the same, of a furry! Pokémon that pretend to be humans. I mean, sure, you're a furry." Sean spluttered at the accusation. "But I'm a pokémon, and that's it." She sighed a little.
"Excuse you!" Sean squawked. Saniya looked intrigued at the notion of teasing. "What are you saying?"
Lucario gave him the flattest of all looks. A stunfisk would be proud of the expression if it wasn't an being of pure entropy. "Sean. Come on."
Sean glowered.
"Sean. Come on. You're a riolu." She raised an eyebrow meaningfully.
"I… you… well…," Sean sighed, defeated. "You didn't have to call me out like that."
"Lol. Lmao."
He shook his head at her, and they sat with Lucario as she rambled on a little more before finally allowing Guardian to drag her back to the guild.
She'd have a murder headache tomorrow.
Art by Bograbbit and thanks to the amazing Chaos for getting it for me!