"Really Bucky, I'm fine. You don't need to stay with me," I told him while laying down my card. I lost to his king with my 10, and he collected a small pile of pretzels.

"I know how lonely you get when your hubs is away," Bucky replied, shuffling the cards. "I haven't been sleeping lately, so I figure since you don't sleep alone the two of us could keep each other company."

I raised my eyebrows. "Feeling a little lovesick, are we?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm just having some insomnia, that's all. It's common for those of us with PTSD. You should know."

Bullshit. He was having insomnia, alright, but it had less to do with his PTSD and more to do with a certain tattooed former Archangel who practically worshipped the ground Bucky stood on. But having learned my lesson with Thor, Nat, and the constantly bickering duo of Carol and Rhodey, I kept my mouth shut. Although to be fair to me, Carol and Rhodey were never happy with me no matter what I said and did...neither of them were my biggest fans. So, when I snapped one day and told them to get a room and get it over with, they took it about as well as one would expect.

Instead, I asked, "Bad dreams again?"

Bucky grunted as he cut the deck. I drew a queen, and he drew a 7. My pot this time.

Loki was currently away on a mission with Thor and Valkyrie, which explained why Bucky was at my home making himself a nuisance. Well, that was what he claimed anyway. The truth was that Derrick was getting impatient with Bucky's fucking around and playing hot and cold with them, and Bucky knew it. He was spending less time at Sanctuary, and as a result was grumpy, irritable, and just plain difficult to deal with. I thanked my lucky stars that we weren't neighbors anymore, else he would probably be camped out on my sofa. As it was, I knew he was driving Steve and Sam up the wall. Bucky was here tonight because I was the only person who didn't immediately come up with an excuse not to hang out.

I was a soft-hearted idiot.

I shuffled and cut the deck and lost again. We played cards like that for an hour or so. My empathy could pick up one hell of a messy stew of emotion coming off him, and it was giving me a headache. Don't do it, Tracy. Don't say shit. Don't say shit. Don't say...

"Wanna order a pizza or something? Maybe get some beer too? I know Loki is more of a wine and hard liquor guy, but maybe he wouldn't mind if we stocked the fridge with some suds."

"Suds, old man? Okay. Pizza and beer sound fine." Maybe if Bucky got drunk, he would finally talk about what was really on his mind.

Another hour, more card playing, a delivery guy came and went, and we munched on pizza and indulged in some beer. I hadn't drunk beer in a very long time. I couldn't say I missed it, especially since after the initial taste the stuff turned into water in my mouth. Damn angel quirks. I couldn't even get a proper buzz on...I had to deal with Bucky's shit completely sober. Great.

Bucky was on his eighth beer when I couldn't take it anymore. "Want to tell me what's really going on?" I asked casually while shuffling the cards.

The idiot tried to play innocent. "I told you; I just wanted some company, and I thought you did too. If you want me to leave, just say so."

"Considering that all I am is just a convenient distraction, I'm inclined to take that offer."

Bucky paused with his beer halfway to his mouth. "Distraction? What are you talking about?"

"You know what...or should I say, whom."

"I don't know what you--"

"--what I'm talking about. That's a load of crap. You know exactly what I mean. You know you can't lie to me. Don't even try it."

"I'm not an idiot." Bucky gulped his beer down. "You're a royal pain in the ass, you know that?"

"So, everyone tells me." I laid the cards aside. "Cut the crap. Why are you avoiding Derrick?"

Bucky stared at me. "I'm not avoiding them. They just seemed to be getting tired of my company. I thought they needed some alone time."

"Derrick never gets tired of your company, but what they are tired of is you stringing them along like you have been."

"I'm not stringing them along!"

I slammed my hand on the table. "You've been hanging out almost every day at Sanctuary for months. You know how they feel about you. And those feelings are mutual...don't bother denying it. I'm an empath, I can tell. Yet even though you've been sniffing around them and it's obvious you feel the same about them that they do, you haven't made any move at all! Not one date, not even so much as a hug..."

"Derrick can't leave Sanctuary!"

"Yes, they can, for short stretches of time...at least long enough for dinner and a show! What the hell Bucky? I know you came here tonight because Derrick has been getting impatient, and I don't blame them...if Loki had pulled the same shit you've been pulling, I would have given up on him!"

Bucky snorted. "Don't give me that. You were stringing Loki along for a good while there."

"I don't deny that, and I will admit that Loki has the patience of a goddamn saint. He rightfully should have written me off, the way Derrick is just about ready to do!" I sat back, chest heaving. "I know the reason you've been hem-hawing around. The others—and yes, they've noticed too—think that maybe it's because Derrick's gender is giving you pause..."

"Of course not! I mean, it threw me off for a while, especially after they changed their body into a female one..."

"You got over that quickly. They also figure it might be because Derrick is basically attached to Sanctuary by the hip, and I know that's not it!"

"Tell me then, oh Wise One, why is it?"

I leaned forward until I was almost nose-to-nose with him. "Because deep down, you still hate yourself and think that you don't deserve good things. You know you can be happy with Derrick, but you're still so determined to punish yourself for things that were not your fault. Derrick realizes that you're using them to punish yourself, and that's why they've gotten cranky with you!"

Bucky glared at me in silence, fuming. I went on. "Damn it, man, they like you. A lot. And you like them!"

"It's not that simple. They're immortal!"

"So am I!" I yelled. "That didn't stop me from marrying Loki, even though I'll probably lose him in several thousand years unless we find a way to extend his lifespan! But I decided that it was better to love for a short time than to never love at all, and that's been Derrick's mentality as well!"

"Why do you care so much about this?!"

I took a deep breath. "Because one day, hopefully not for many years, but one day you will be just a fond memory for me. And it will absolutely kill me knowing that you never had the happiness in life that you deserved!"

The chair slammed back as Bucky shot up. He stomped towards the door, and I yelled after him. "You know I'm right, damn you! You need to go to Derrick, apologize for being an ass, take them out, and start being happy!"

"Screw you, Tracy," he fired back and slammed the door on his way out.

I took several deep breaths to calm down. I looked at the beer and then the liquor cabinet. I really, really needed to get drunk but that was not happening. Not for the first time, I wished I was still human.

After a few minutes of stewing, I put the pizza and beer in the fridge, cleaned the kitchen and the dining room, and then spent almost thirty minutes pacing in the living room. I was still mad, and I had to fight the urge to go hunt Bucky down and beat some sense into him. I saw how Derrick was hurting over him, and I wasn't happy. I wasn't a huge fan of the familial ties that they and the other angels had bound me with, but whether I liked it or not, Derrick was my family.

And no one treated my family like Bucky did, to the point where they were in tears over him.

I needed to calm down, and to help accomplish that, I went to the bedroom, opened the hamper, and pulled out the shirt Loki had worn just before he left for the mission he was on. I laid on the bed, held the garment to my nose, and inhaled his scent. I started feeling better. My husband's scent was both an enticement and a balm, but what I really wanted was him here. Fuck, I missed him. He'd been gone for a week.

I really needed to practice patience like he did. Bucky had been right about one thing. I did string Loki along, for a good while. When we met, I knew he was interested in me sexually. Eventually he grew to like me as a person, but even knowing that I repeatedly refused his advances. I had been traumatized and was suffering severe survivor's guilt and didn't think I should accept what he was offering because I didn't deserve it. But I grew to like him as well, though it took a long time.

Loki really did have the patience of a goddamn saint. Anyone else would have cut their losses and moved on.

"Loki," I whispered, nuzzling the shirt, forgetting about Bucky, about trauma, about everything else. I didn't want to think about anything else. Just Loki. Always Loki.

I was suddenly, desperately horny, needy for him, for his touch. Deciding that Bucky wasn't going to be back tonight, and it was too late for anyone else to come calling, I turned down the lights, pulled off my shirt, and laid down, still holding the dirty shirt to my nose.

Loki could be a bastard, and one of the ways in which he was a bastard was in keeping the sex toys in his own little personal magic locker, carrying them on himself and not granting me any access to them when I was on my own. I didn't have any vibrational help, so I had to use my fingers. It was no problem, since I wanted to drag this out, the way he would.

Taking a huge sniff off his shirt, I used my free hand to stroke my breasts, circling my areolas and pinching my nipples. I could imagine his hands, his mouth, kissing, sucking, biting, and my womb clenched as the ache between my legs grew. My hand traveled down, unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, and slid into my panties.

I began to tease my pussy, lightly touching my labia, just barely brushing over my clit. I lightly tapped my fingers along my inner thighs as I shifted my hips to move the jeans down further. I rubbed myself through my panties, which were getting wet. I imagined Loki pausing to take a sniff after he pulled them off.

I pictured everything about him. His perfect porcelain skin. His silky raven hair. His piercing oceanic eyes, staring into mine as he ate me out. I moaned and slid my fingers back inside my panties to circle them around the rim of my entrance before dipping them inside me.

They were nice and wet, and I used them to rub my clit in circles, imagining it was Loki's wet fingers touching me with that dexterous skill of his. I inhaled his scent again and moaned, my body tensing as I climbed upwards towards my release. "Mmmm, Loki..."

"Yes, you had better be thinking of me when you do that."

I froze.

For just a moment, I panicked, thinking that Bucky had indeed come back for more, I didn't hear him come in, and that he caught me in this private moment. Then I came to my senses and bolted upright. "You're back!"

Loki was leaning against the doorframe, still dressed in his green leather armor, one of the beers Bucky and I bought dangling from one hand. His arms were crossed, and his eyes blazed as he gazed at me.

"Did I tell you to stop, my Pet?"

I swallowed. "I..."

"Do keep going, but..." He jerked his chin towards my jeans and panties. "Those need to come off. They are obstructing my view." He snapped his fingers and the rest of my clothing vanished. He sipped his beer, not taking his eyes off me, waiting for me to go on.

I laid back, spread my legs wider, and moved my fingers back to my cunt. "Slower," Loki ordered. "I do not want you coming apart yet."

Obeying, I kept my touch light and delicate, even though I really wanted to climb back up to my impending orgasm. I spread my lower lips apart to give him even more of a show and slid two fingers inside me, pumping back and forth, my eyes fixed on his. My lips parted and I shivered at the intensity with which Loki was watching me.

He finished his beer and stepped away from the doorway. As he walked his armor melted away, followed by his Asgardian tunic and pants. Loki was completely naked, and I licked my lips at the view he presented. In the muted light, he was gorgeous, like a—well, like a god. Loki was wiry yet had well defined muscles. His pecs were well-sculpted, he had a well-defined sixpack and Adonis belt, and his cock stood proudly at attention. I looked at him up and down, drinking him in, not pausing in my movements.

I used my wet fingers to circle my clit as Loki took hold of the base of his erection and began to slowly pump his hand up and down the shaft. The tendons on his neck and arms stood out in stark relief, and I heard soft grunts coming from the back of his throat. The whole time he watched me intently, his eyes reflecting the little light there was in the room. He made a wondrous sight, better than the marble statues of the Greek gods.

He was beautiful.

And he was mine.

I inhaled harshly, feeling a surge overcome me as I drew close to my sweet release. "Loki," I whispered, pleading with him. I stared at his cock, uncircumcised and the tip glistening with precum. I wanted it inside me. I needed his touch. Craved it.

"Tell me what you want Pet," Loki groaned, standing at the side of the bed, looking down at me.

"You. Your cock, your mouth, all of you. Loki, please."

He smiled. "I do love the way you beg."

He eased himself onto the bed and on top of me, pushing a leg up and leaning it against his shoulder. He penetrated me deeply, exactly how I liked it, and his fingers pushed mine aside to replace them. As soon as he touched my clit and began thrusting, I came hard, tossing my head back and crying out.

He circled his hips, giving me even more sensations to bring me to new heights, one hand on my breast plucking at my nipple, the other moving on that sensitive bundle of nerves between my legs.

After two more of my orgasms, he found his release as well.

"Mmm, now that was a nice welcome back," Loki declared as he laid down and gathered me with one arm against my chest. "So, what else have you been up to while I was away, my love?"

He told me about his mission, I told him about Bucky being a colossal moron, he chastised me for poking my nose in another person's love life, and we spent the rest of the night eating leftover pizza and drinking beer while watching the sunrise.