Worth the Wait
Chapter Ten
Hermione Granger spends the week following Pansy's birthday soiree oscillating between deep regret, sorrow and hope.
Hermione knows that she had been flirting with Draco on Friday night. She hadn't thought it would be so easy to fall back into old patterns– until Draco walked in in that damned Muggle suit.
She had intended to be cordial, at best, to Draco. She had not intended to fawn over him like she had. Hermione blames that suit. She had always had a certain appreciation for a sharply dressed man– a sharply dressed Draco Malfoy, especially.
She had enjoyed dancing with him. She had really enjoyed it, in fact. It reminded her of how easy it had been to fall in love with him. It had happened so gradually, like falling asleep.
It worried her that it could be that easy to fall for him again if she isn't careful.
Hermione had enjoyed the party quite a lot. She meant what she said to Draco about enjoying seeing all of her friends in one place. She'd gotten to talk to Pansy and Harry, Ron and Ginny, of course, but it was wonderful to see Neville and Luna and even Theo and Blaise too.
Hermione had become friends with Theo and Blaise over the course of her relationship with Draco, but they were always more his friends than hers, so when the pair broke up, she stopped hearing from them. It was a shame, seeing as she quite enjoyed Theo's company, specifically. He was kind and funny and incredibly intelligent.
Hermione had even enjoyed officially meeting Astoria Greengrass. She was a kind witch, it seemed. Hermione could understand why Draco is so fond of her.
Hermione wonders when she might see Draco again. She also hopes that that doesn't happen for a long while. She doesn't know if she could keep her heart in check for another evening with him so soon after the party. Half of her wants to scream at him until her hair sparks from the anger boiling her blood. The other half of her wants to fall into his arms and really remember what it was like to love him and to be loved by him.
She should not still feel like this after three years. What is it about Draco Malfoy that makes her feel like absolutely no time has passed?
Hermione had come home from Pansy's party and collapsed on the floor, still in her dress robes, with her back against her front door and cried for what felt like days. Her heart ached and she spent all of Saturday holed up in her flat. She even ignored both Pansy and Ginny's owls on Saturday morning.
Hermione knew that her friends' owls would be full of questions. It would've been impossible for them to not notice that both she and Draco had disappeared at the same time, and she didn't exactly know how to explain herself.
Hermione could quite literally not have chosen a more romantic setting for her dance with Draco, and what's worse is that she hadn't done it on purpose. She would be surprised if Draco wasn't feeling like he was getting mixed signals from her. She feels like she's getting mixed signals from herself.
She had told Draco in her letter that she had no wish to lead him on and that she thought they could try to be friends, and then she danced with and flirted with him the first chance she had. Ugh.
Pansy had showed up at Hermione's office on Monday morning after not hearing from her for the remainder of the weekend. Hermione had explained to her that she just wasn't ready to talk about it yet, so Pansy left her office, but not before ordering Hermione to come to her as soon as she was ready. Hermione had agreed to Pansy's terms.
It's now Friday and Hermione still isn't sure she wants to talk about it, but she knows that she has to. The only way to get her thoughts out of her head is to talk about them. So, she floo calls Pansy and Ginny as soon as she arrives home on Friday evening.
Pansy and Ginny sit side-by-side on Hermione's sitting room sofa, waiting for Hermione to begin to speak. Hermione sits cross-legged on the floor in front of the hearth, leaning her head down against her coffee table.
Pansy reaches across the table and pats Hermione's hand.
"Don't know where to start?" Pansy assumes, correctly.
Hermione shakes her head, her cheek dragging against the wood. She doesn't even know where to begin with this conversation. Like any best friends likely would react, Hermione expects Pansy and Ginny to be displeased that Hermione had spent Friday night flirting with her ex.
"Well, help us out here," Ginny starts, sliding down off the sofa to be closer to Hermione. "What happened during that half-hour that you were gone? Did you shag him?"
Hermione's head jerks up.
"I absolutely did not shag him! When and where was I supposed to have done that?" Hermione shrieks.
The entirely frustrating part of her question is that she'd thought about it. He had just looked so good, and he had talked to her just like he always had. His words– "Haven't you realized, Hermione? I would follow you anywhere." –echoed in her brain. She had almost begged him to follow her home that night before she thought better of it.
"You were gone for almost forty minutes, 'Mione. That's plenty of time. Albus was probably conceived in ten minutes, so," Ginny laughs, waggling her eyebrows. Hermione cringes at the mention of Harry and Ginny's sex life. "And Blaise lives in a literal villa. There's all manner of closets and studies and bedrooms everywhere."
Hermione's jaw drops.
"Fine, but no. I did not shag him," Hermione says, with probably a bit too much emphasis, which Hermione hopes neither witch notices.
Pansy notices.
"But you wanted to?" the dark-haired witch asks, her tone even– non-judgmental– although Hermione thinks she's probably judging her silently.
Hermione nods, frowning at herself.
"I just thought about it– briefly. When we left the party, we went outside to the gardens and we danced. Or, more like just swayed back and forth while holding each other at a respectable distance," Hermione explains, lying her head back down on the table.
Ginny furrows her brows.
"You danced?" the redhead asks, seemingly confused.
Hermione nods.
"We used to dance together a lot, especially in the library at the Manor. When I saw him at the party, I just wanted to dance with him one more time. I danced with Harry and Ron and Neville, too, and they're all lovely partners, but…," Hermione trails off, not wanting to say out loud the thought she just had.
"But none of them are Draco?" Ginny supplies, and Hermione feels her eyes start to burn with unshed tears.
Hermione stands abruptly, wringing her hands together in front of herself.
"This is mental!" Hermione exclaims, frustrated. "It's been three bloody years. I moved on! I dated Oliver for three months and didn't think about Draco at all! This is ridiculous!"
Pansy stands with her and steps closer, placing her hands on Hermione's upper arms.
"Granger, take it from someone who has had the misfortune of being enamored with Draco Malfoy– he can be very tempting. You know him better than I ever did, but that fact is irrefutable. Now that he's back in your life, I'd be surprised if nothing at all happened. You two were too in love for there to not be any lingering feelings."
Hermione frowns. That's… not exactly what she expected from Pansy.
"You're not upset with me?" Hermione wonders, and she feels a single tear slip down her left cheek.
Pansy's eyebrows raise, and out of the corner of her eye, Hermione sees Ginny stand as well, coming up next to her left side.
"What?" Pansy asks, and her confusion is evident on her face. "Of course I'm not upset with you. I don't like the git, but that doesn't mean I don't think that you two are made for each other."
This time, Hermione's eyebrows shoot to her hairline.
"Made for each other?" Hermione questions, looking between her two best friends.
Ginny wraps her arm around Hermione's shoulders.
"You obviously couldn't see it, but we all expected you and Draco to stay together– before we knew about the marriage contract. You two just sort of fit. He broke your trust by not telling you about the contract. Nobody is dismissing that. We just also know how much you loved him. It's okay if you still do," Ginny states, brushing some of Hermione's unruly curls out of her face.
Hermione ponders this for a moment. Does she still love Draco?
"No, I don't think I still love him," Hermione mumbles, closing her eyes and breathing heavily. "But I think I could easily love him again."
Hermione wakes up the following morning to two warm bodies crowded into her bed– Pansy and Ginny. The two witches had insisted on staying over to keep her company after her Draco-related revelation. Hermione had originally protested, but Ginny floo called Harry, who sided with his wife, even if that meant that he was home alone with their two children, and Pansy floo called Neville, who also agreed that Pansy should stay.
Hermione was outnumbered, and so the two women stayed. It certainly helped Hermione work through her feelings, though, to have Ginny and Pansy to talk to about them with.
Hermione disentangles herself from her friends and crawls out of bed to prepare tea for her unexpected houseguests. Before she is able to start on the tea service, though, Hermione hears a tapping at her kitchen window.
Fortunately, Hermione's flat– specifically, her kitchen window– faces the back of her building, which backs up to a thick of woods, so owls flying to and from her window haven't raised any alarms in Muggle London just yet.
Hermione opens her window, and a massive eagle owl that she doesn't recognize perches itself on her window sill. The bird sticks its leg out for Hermione to remove the attached scroll, which she does as she uses her other hand to scratch its head gently.
The bird doesn't wait for a treat before flying off as soon as Hermione releases the note from its leg.
Hermione unrolls the parchment and realizes immediately who this letter is from– she'd recognize that perfect script anywhere, even after years without seeing it.
Hermione,
I wanted to give you some space after Pansy's birthday, but rest assured that you have not been far from my mind.
In your letter to me prior to the party, you mentioned my having intentions toward you. You were correct in your assumption. I am quite certain of how I feel about you– made even more clear to me on Friday evening.
I know that I have damaged your trust in me. You have no reason to trust me, but if I may ask anything of you, it would be to give me a chance. I will do anything you ask of me to earn back your trust.
I do understand, of course, if you decide that you are not interested, but respectfully, I believe that that would be a mistake.
I will answer any questions you have. As I said, I know that you have no reason to trust me. The only defense I will offer for myself is that I have always done the best I could do with the information I had at the time– and that includes my marriage to Astoria.
Before you, I did not know that it was possible to love someone so intensely. I have since learned– since having my son– that I am capable of incredible love. I would jump in front of an Avada for my son without a second thought.
That is to say, I have grown and changed in many ways in the last three years. In many ways, I am still the young man who fell for a witch he never deserved. I still do not deserve you. But in other ways, I am changed. All I'm asking for is the chance to show you that some of those changes are for the better.
In an effort to prove this to you, I would like to extend an offer.
You mentioned not wanting the media to see us together, and that is fine with me. So, my offer to you is that you choose a restaurant– any restaurant– in Muggle London and you and I will share a meal together at that restaurant. It does not have to be a date, although, I cannot promise that I will not pretend that it is in my head.
This meal can be whenever you want. I will clear my schedule for whatever time and date is to your convenience.
If you decide after this meal that you do not want to see me again, I will let you go. I will never force you into anything.
Please consider this offer.
Yours,
D. Malfoy
Hermione rolls the parchment up and clutches it in her fist. Draco Malfoy just asked her on a date.
Hermione exhales, pressing her free hand to her chest to calm her suddenly racing heart.
"Pansy! Ginny!" Hermione yells, hoping to rouse the two heavy-sleeping witches in her bed.
Her hopes are fulfilled when both women come barreling into the room, clear concern etched on both of their faces.
Hermione thrusts the parchment into Pansy's hands and she watches as Ginny peers over Pansy's shoulder to read alongside the dark-haired witch.
Hermione watches as both women's faces shift with emotion with every line of the letter.
"Are you going to go?" Pansy asks once she's finished reading.
Hermione bites her lip. Is she?
Lol, so, here's the thing. I leave for my trip in six days and I have seven chapters left to upload. SOOOO. We have two options here- I could upload one a day, and just upload the last chapter and the epilogue together, OR I can leave y'all here and you'll get to finish the story in November when I get back. I'm leaving this up to my readers. Whichever option you prefer, I will do.
In any case, I love the way Ginny and Pansy handle Hermione's little melt down. I just like that they're so supportive, even going as far as to stay the night with her when she was clearly upset.
And Draco's letter- I love that too. (Anyone notice how I talk about this fic as if I didn't write it and didn't write it exactly how I wanted it to be? :P I'm just passionate about my writing, okay. :P)
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
If you never review, please, I urge you to this time to let me know if you'd prefer I upload the entirety of the story before I leave or if I should leave it here and pick back up when I come back. Thank you! (: