Archie didn't know what she was looking at.
Well. She did.
But she didn't.
They were on a beach at dusk, their camp a quarter mile north. Tide was out. The stupid plan - Stede's, of course. He'd said clams from around here were supposed to be "absolutely scrumptious" so they might try digging for some.
It'd been an hour. No sign of a decent clam… or turtle. Turtles were Jim's idea - turtle stews or their eggs were "fucking good. But don't tell Stede. He likes turtles."
Archie had rolled her eyes, whispered, "Give me a break."
Why did they like this guy so much? He seemed so... insignificant.
Anyway, they'd had a good hour of it when Blackbeard - now more often referred to as Ed, another thing throwing her for a loop - just... froze.
He was staring out to sea and honestly she just thought he was having a nice little moment, maybe.
Then the moment stretched. And stretched.
Still as a statue he just faced the waters, barely blinking an eye.
She wondered if he was thinking about walking out there to disappear into the depths. Stede wouldn't like that. She didn't know how she'd feel.
Slightly unnerved, she glanced around, looking for her companions on this little expedition, either Stede or Jim.
She didn't see Stede but Jim was close enough. Sound traveled well here, so "Hey, psst, Jim!" got their attention.
Jim waved and jogged over.
"Que pasa?"
Archie gestured to Ed. "Look at him," she said, voice flat. "Something's wrong with him."
Jim raised an eyebrow but nodded, hesitantly walked over. With Jim by her side, Archie felt better going near their ex-captain.
Together they approached, cautious. Ed was no longer a vicious, cruel captain, sure, but he was still... mercurial, and that trait was still unsettling.
They were only a couple yards out now. He wasn't quite as still as Archie had originally thought. She could see his hands and arms twitching like convulsions. His lips were moving too but Archie couldn't figure it out. His eyes stared into the middle distance, glistening.
"Hey. Ed?"
Jim snapped their fingers in front of him, trying to get him to focus.
"Ed!" Archie tried it louder, more emphatic.
Ed ignored them both, just continued to gaze at the horizon.
Jim's face set to a hard line. "Go find Stede. I think he's beyond that boulder."
"You got it." Archie took off.
This had become common practice. If Blackbeard looked peaky, or about to have a fit, or anything weird with him really, just call Stede. At first Archie thought it was because nobody - especially in Blackbeard's crew, herself very much included - had the bandwidth to deal with him when they were still suffering from their own issues because of him. After seeing a couple times when Stede would arrive and sort of fix things enough for everybody to feel marginally better, she changed her mind. They called Stede because he was the only person that could have that effect on Ed. She had no idea why, but there it was.
It was easy to find and get Stede. Turned out the boulder was closer than it looked (depth perception was trickier in twilight) and it only took a quick "Stede, it's Blac- Edward!" to get him dropping his clam bucket and following her out at a quick clip.
They slowed as they reached Jim, who stood a careful distance away from Ed. Jim and Stede shared a meaningful look that dug a little jealous hole into her. She wanted to be in the know too. Jim turned, pointed towards Ed with their knife (yeah, Archie thought, she'd pull her own blade out if she were alone within spitting distance of a weirdly-behaving Blackbeard too).
"He's doing it again," Jim said.
"Again?" Archie whispered. Jim shot her a suppressive look. Archie clenched her jaw, annoyed.
Stede peered at Ed and nodded heavily with a knowing sigh. He took measure of their surroundings, surveying the lands around them on all sides. The sand was gray blue silk, reflecting the rising moon. Long, insubstantial clouds streaked across the sky, moving steadily. The winds were soft for the ocean. Ed's hair was up in a bun but strays flew around his face, his loose crew clothes flapped around him.
"Ed?" Stede called out, his voice carrying.
Ed's hand visibly shook.
"Yeah. Okay," Stede murmured, more to himself than to them. He checked every pocket and strap on him. He was only carrying a knife in its holster, which he promptly handed over to Jim. "All right, um, you two, head back," he ordered, voice strained with worry. Archie felt some pity for him. "And would one of you grab my bucket on your way?" He added absently.
"Did you catch anything?" Jim asked.
"No. We need that bucket."
"Yeah," Archie shrugged in agreement.
"You got it, captain."
"Thank you. We'll be along shortly." Stede rubbed his hands together, turning back to Ed looking resolute.
The two of them backed up and turned. Jim seemed interested in giving them their privacy but... Fuck that, Archie thought. She'd been dragged through hell by this maniac. He'd made her maim, torture, and kill. Then he almost got her killed by Jim, her favorite person on that godforsaken ship. So, if this was her chance to see behind the curtain, she was going to take it. She deserved some answers. She was entitled to them. And Jim wasn't going to stop her. Jim had seen Blackbeard when he'd been Ed, with Stede. But for Archie, this was all some brand new bullshit. She wasn't even sure she bought it.
So, she watched. She took slow steps and didn't care if it was annoying Jim, and watched as Stede tentatively stepped into Blackbeard's line of sight. His hands were out, lips moving but the wind was stripping his voice from where Archie stood. He stepped closer, tiny sideways steps closer, and Archie was reminded how Izzy had said Blackbeard had become a wild dog that night. They'd carried him into that secret compartment together and Izzy gave them the narrative. They'd had to treat him like a wild dog. They'd had to put him down like one.
She bit her lip, thinking about how Stede was also treating him like a wild dog, just in a profoundly different way.
Stede was close enough to touch Ed now, and he reached out slowly, fingers gently tracing Ed's hand.
Her fearsome, murderous captain (ex-captain, thank Christ) did not reel back to swing a punch, nor did he bear down on Stede like she was expecting. Archie was astonished to see him flinch . Then he stumbled backwards on the smooth sands away from Stede, clutching his hand back like he'd been burnt.
Archie dropped any pretense of leaving and stopped full stop, riveted. Stede was following after Ed quickly, and Ed just kept backing up, now his hands up like he was fending Stede off. Deftly, in a lightning fast move even Archie wouldn't have seen coming, Stede ducked and moved in to grind a foot down into the sand behind Ed's heel.
The dread pirate tripped. Mid-fall, Stede wrapped his arms around him and tugged, angling their tumble so Ed landed against his chest.
They hit the sand and Stede immediately wrapped his arms and legs around Ed.
Archie could tell it was practice. Stede had maneuvered well, with a smoothness and surety that came from experience. Just as Jim had implied, this wasn't the first time Ed had done this, nor was it Stede's in dealing with it.
Ed's outraged shouts traveled the expanse of beach. He kicked and bucked against Stede's hold. "I'm gonna kill you! Don't you dare - let me go! I'll skin you alive and wear your teeth as a fucking necklace!"
Ah, okay. Back to normal fare then, Archie figured. She'd heard it before. She turned and realized Jim was still with her, jaw clenched. They were holding back on explaining something to her, she just knew it. Archie huffed and walked to the boulder Stede had been near. Jim followed silently. Archie picked up Stede's bucket, looked to Jim expectantly. Jim pressed their lips together and still said nothing. Archie shrugged and the two walked on. If Jim didn't want to say anything to her then Jim didn't need to say anything to her.
It was just as Archie came back into view of the two pirates that Ed's tirade took on a different edge that had her stumbling to a halt. "Stop!" He screamed, panicked. "No!" Blackbeard was crying . "Stop. Stede."
"Archie, come on ." Jim tapped her elbow.
"No, I gotta see." Archie's heart was a drum beat, her breath shallowing. Was she really feeling for this asshole!?
She took a step towards them, then another.
"Let me go. Please," Edward sobbed, writhing and twisting under Stede's hold but his movements were weak, despairing. Stede wasn't letting go of him.
He never would. Archie was kind of getting that now.
"Archie!" Jim hissed. Archie waved back at Jim to shut up as she got closer, needing to see this, needing to know this side of Blackbeard. To see Stede too.
Jim might've left after that, Archie didn't know or care. She was transfixed by the sight of them.
Bright moonlight limned their silhouettes as they faced the sea. They were breathing heavily, Ed through tears, and Stede with the effort of restraining him. Archie realized he was whispering into Ed's ear. Off the winds, she could just make it out.
"Tell me, then. You can tell me anything-"
"Fucking liar. You don't want to know. No one would. I'm not worth it." Ed wrested a hand free and whipped it backwards, nearly smacking Stede in the face if he hadn't shifted in time.
"Gees, Ed, c'mon," Stede chastised, catching Ed's wrist and securing it back down against his chest. Ed screamed with frustration and the sea swallowed it.
Stede just held on, rocked them.
"It's worth it, Ed," Stede promised.
Ed didn't say anything, just shook with tears and gasping cries.
"Everything, even this. You're worth it. And you don't have to talk, though. I just need to you to work through this."
Stede hefted Ed up against his chest higher so they were both sitting up straighter.
"We just need to get through it. You know the drill. You're safe. I've got you. C'mon, sweetheart. Stay with me."
Ed finally went limp, melting against Stede's chest.
"I don't want to tell you."
"Then don't. Maybe you can let it go other ways."
Ed sniffed. His hands had tremors as he wiped his face clear.
"It was a still night like this one. The raid was quiet. They saw our flag too late to prepare. They didn't fight."
Archie swallowed, remembering that raid. It had been eerie: a boat load of people so horrified by their visages and resigned to their deaths.
"Nobody even screamed. Just quiet prayers and that gurgling sound, when your throat's been slashed."
"Did you plan it like that?" Stede asked, his tone level.
"I did. I was... curious. If we could do it. Be sneaky. Turns out we could. Their eyes. When they were dying so quiet, their eyes were so scared. Like we'd drag them down to hell with us after too."
"Shhh..." Stede hugged him. "You can't do anything about it now. They're long gone from this earth. Not hell, better places."
Archie wiped away her own tears and nodded, agreeing with Stede. She knew it to be true. There was no use in lamenting the past. She lived her life surviving, and when other poor buggers didn't survive half as well as her, that was just life, wasn't it?
It's just life , she'd reassured Jim through bloody teeth. It's just life.
Jim had refused to take her life though, hadn't they?
With these people, with this strange leader that could bring Blackbeard to crippling tears of haunted remorse, maybe life wasn't just survival.
After a couple minutes of silence, the two of them just breathing together, Ed gingerly separated from Stede. He scooted over to sit beside him. They looked out to the sea. It was night, now. The lighting was different from the one during that raid now.
Ed stretched his hand out. Stede took it.
Archie knew it was time to go.
As she backed away, she heard low laughter coming from their direction. They were stabilizing. They were bantering like she'd overheard them do a couple times now. It'd mystified her then and exhilarated her now.
Archie left the beach with so much to think about. What she'd witnessed was so damn depressing, yet hopeful? Why did she feel like that proved how, if things continued like this, everything was going to be okay?
Jim gave her a meaningful look as she arrived at their encampment. "Now you know."
Yes, now she knew.
Ed and Stede came back an hour later. It seemed like they'd gone for a swim, all wet hair, dry clothes sticking to them. They practically glowed, especially by the light of the fire as they sat down to eat. Ed split off to talk quietly to Buttons where Stede settled next to Olu and Frenchie. Clam hunting hadn't gone well obviously, but Roach's search for herbs rendered a delicious soup that didn't quite duplicate the Red Flag's. It came pretty close, though.
When they gathered around the fire, conversation was easy.
Ed in particular wasn't talkative, Archie observed. He never was anymore. Stede was captain. It went unspoken that Ed probably wouldn't captain another day in his life.
Was he a different person? Archie mused, watching him discuss currents with the Scotsman. There was no anger, no hostility underneath him. He was open, thoughtful energy looking out at a vista he clearly adored and respected, as did Buttons.
Maybe he was the same person under drastically different circumstances. But did circumstances dictate who you were that much, though?
Too much philosophy bullshit, Archie decided. Whatever it was, it felt real. It even felt like something she might be willing to trust one day.
Soon, it was time for Stede to gather them around for a bedtime story. From memory, he told a story of a woman with golden-spun hair braided as long as a rope, so that a prince could climb it and save her. Archie listened to Stede's voice and started to understand the attachment the rest of the crew had to him. He did do great voices.
She drifted along, imagined Jim scaling a castle wall to rescue her. Then Archie would save Jim from the castle's booby traps. Close calls would have them huddling close together, breathing heavy, their eyes finding each other.
A stick broke nearby, and for a fraction of a minute, Archie fluttered her eyes open.
She made a face as her sleepy mind caught up to what she'd seen. She opened her eyes again to sight Stede across the way, his eyes warm, smile wide and goofy as ever as Ed knelt down next to him. "Hey," Stede whispered almost conspiratorially even though everybody and their mother knew about the two of them by now. Stede shifted on his sleeping pad and opened his arms and Ed - the dread pirate Blackbeard - made himself small somehow, and tucked himself in against Stede's side, his head on Stede's chest.
They sighed in tandem, relaxing against each other. Ed wrapped a leg over Stede. Stede got his arm around Ed. It hiked Ed's shirt up a little, and Archie could just see Blackbeard's tattoo. The snake winding through a skull's empty eyes, giant fancy royal-like lettering that she knew said, "Trust No One."
Stede stroked Ed's back under his shirt, touching the snake and the skull, the words scarred and inked into this man warning him against the very existence he was leading now, the company he was keeping, the nature of his relationships.
Stede's fingers tenderly smoothed along Ed's skin with love.
They fell asleep, tangled in each other.
Okay, Archie thought. Okay.
She'd trust this.
A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Please comment if you have a second - I love even just emojis ️🌈💕