I step over the threshold and into the President's mansion. I'm greeted by attendants who usher me into the ballroom, motioning for me to pause before they announce my presence.
"Ladies and gentlemen, your victor of the 74th Annual Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen!"
Thunderous applause comes from the crowd below as I'm blinded by the flashing lights of the cameras.
As I make my way down the staircase and into the ballroom, I catch Cinna's eye.
"Congratulations again, girl on fire," he says when I reach him.
"Thank you. I'm just glad to be done with the recap."
I think back, it was only a few hours ago but it feels like an eternity. I'm haunted as I think of Rue's lifeless body being carried up by the hovercraft. I push the thought out of my mind, there's no time for that tonight.
Cinna leads me over to the buffet, overflowing with Capitol delicacies, there's more food laid out than I've ever seen in my entire life. I feel guilty for being responsible for all this waste, even though they would have had this banquet even if I hadn't won. Cinna hands me a plate of food, I thank him and begin walking around the room while silently munching on the food, hors d'oeuvres, I'm told they're called. Once I'm done I a wondering servant with a tray takes the plate from me, an avox, probably. I admire the artwork that adorns the room. For a dictatorial leader the President does have a refined taste in art.
Someone comes up beside me.
"Do you like the art?" the voice asks.
"Yes," I finally stammer out.
"So do I. I'm Peeta," he says, shaking my hand, "Peeta Mellark. Let me give you a tour!"
"Oh, I don't think we should, it is the President's private home," I say.
"I don't think grandfather will mind."
Peeta goes on at length pointing things out as we make our way down an ornate hallway leading to his office. I can't focus on what he's saying though, Effie gave me a pill before we got to the party, she didn't need to explain its purpose to me, I knew. I just wonder where, surely he won't lay me out over his desk, would he?
Before I know it we're inside of his office. Books are scattered about on his desk and credenza. Paintings adorn the walls. There's a fireplace framed by two couches and wingback chairs.
"Could I have a glass of water before we... we..."
I break down.
"Katniss," he says helping me to sit down on one of the couches, "I would never; I didn't mean to make you think that I would use you like that."
"You wouldn't?" I reply softly
"No. I'm sorry, I've ruined your evening."
"It's okay, I wasn't having much fun anyway."
"So they really are a waste. I've always just thought I was the only one who didn't like them, that maybe there was something wrong with me."
"Let me get you that glass of water," he says suddenly, not leaving any time to dwell on his previous admission.
"Oh no, I'm fine," I start to say, but he's already up and pouring two glasses from a bottle behind his desk.
He moves to hand me a glass and sit down.
"I'm sorry, you know," he says
"About what?"
"About the games. I'm sorry you had to suffer, you didn't deserve that."
I think carefully about how to reply, he can say things like that. He's untouchable, invincible. He's the next president. "Don't be, I'm glad to have represented my district," I finally say.
"People lie to me everyday, I want to hear what you really think."
"It's awful!" I say, my eyes filling with tears. He moves to embrace me, I cry in his lap for a while, blubbering sporadically about Rue and volunteering for Prim. I know I shouldn't be doing this, I shouldn't be trusting him, but he seems different somehow, so unlike other Capitolites, he reminds me of Cinna. After a time I stop crying, Peeta hands me some tissues and asks if I want to see the conservatory.
"I'd like that," I reply.
Peeta picks a single yellow blossom. He admires it lovingly, turning it between his fingers to look at the stem cupping the hundreds of little yellow tongues. He gently tucks it into his lapel buttonhole. He steps down from the dandelion bed platform and meanders over to a cluster of black and purple striped leaves that seem to hum slightly.
"I've eaten dandelions," I blurt out desperately. "They make great salad greens. And tea."
He turns and raises an eyebrow. "You ate a weed?" I nod. "Why would you eat them?"
I swallow hard. "I was hungry."
He looks as though he wants to smile, like I might be joking, but thinks better of it. "Hungry?" I nod. "You must have been very hungry."
I nod again.
He looks at the purple and black leaves. "You were starving?" he asks them.
I can't answer that. I look away. I wish the plants would hum louder.
"Dandelions grow in the meadow in my neighborhood in Twelve," I say, hoping he'll let me change the subject. "It's like a sea of yellow on the first day of spring. You want to swim through them."
He reaches out and strokes a leaf. It curls gently around his finger and holds it. "I wish I could see that."
"You've never been to Twelve?"
He looks over at me. His expression is forlorn. "I've never left the Capital."
"Oh." I don't know why, but his answer makes me pity him. I suppose it's not so strange, there's no draw to my home. But I always assumed Capital citizens were allowed to travel as they pleased. "This is my first time out of my District," I tell him.
"Do you like it here?"
"It's very different," I say, reciting my rehearsed speech. "It's so glamorous and everyone is so original."
"So no?" He catches me off guard.
"No! I mean, I…"
"It's not home, is it?" The leaf releases his finger.
I don't answer.
"I've always wanted to see Twelve."
"Why?" I ask before I can stop myself. "I mean, it's nothing special."
He sighs and leans against the bed of humming flowers. "Everything is special compared to here." He sees my expression and laughs dryly. "If you had to live here, you'd get tired of the feathers and emeralds and drinks and parties very quickly."
I consider it for a moment. "It could be…a little much," I venture.
"A lot much," he smiles
After reentering the ballroom I spot Haymitch immediately. He's yelling at an attendant, his face red with spots of perspiration standing out on his forehead. "What do you mean you don't know? It's her party, dammit, you should know where she is!"
"Haymitch!" I call out, hurrying over to him. "I'm right here."
He spins to me. "Where the hell have you been? You had me worried sick, this night is about you-" He stops, looking past me.
I know he's seen Peeta. "He took me for a walk," I say. "To see their gardens." His eyes dart back to me. "Just the gardens," I insist softly.
"It was entirely my fault, Mr. Abernathy," Peeta says, stepping forward. "I didn't give her a chance to excuse herself. Please lay the blame on me."
"It's fine, it's fine," Haymitch says gruffly. "Just…worried. She's young. And all."
Peeta nods in agreement. "I should have told you, you are her Mentor."
Haymitch shakes his head again, trying to deflect the awkwardness of this meeting.
"Well, I have to go check in with my grandfather," Peeta said, turning back to me with a sad smile. "Thank you for letting me show you the conservatory. I wish I could see your dandelions
"Maybe you will someday," I say politely.
"Maybe," he smiles. "Um. Well. To the Victor go the spoils." He pulls the dandelion from his lapel and hands it to me. "Goodbye, Katniss."
I hold the stem in my hands as he walks away into the ballroom, Effie comes out, her face flushed.
"Katniss!" Her voice is a strained whisper. Her grin stretches across her face. "The president's grandson! You are quite a surprise, aren't you?"
Haymitch turns into me, shouldering her away from me. "He didn't….Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," I say. "He just wanted show me around. Nothing happened."
Effie looks genuinely disappointed. "Oh. Well, still," she recovers, "he did offer you a tour. I've not heard of that before."
"Come on, it's nearly three in the morning," Haymitch says. "You have an interview at ten and lunch with your prep team. Then you need to be ready to go home."
Home. I close my eyes and let the warmth of the thought radiate through me.
"Let's go," I tell my dandelion.
"Morning" Haymich says as I come to breakfast, "we get to go home today." "I can't wait," I reply, silently wondering what torture Effie will put me through before she lets me get on the train home.
"Katniss, dear," Effie begins as she comes to the table, "I just got off the phone with Mr. Mellark's assistant Portia, he would like to see you off at the station! How exciting! We'll of course have to get Cinna to dress you and arrive ahead of schedule, but it will all be worth it!"
I'm surprised he'd ever want to see me again after my breakdown in his office last night, but I'd rather not tell Haymich and Effie about that, she'd just go on about how it wasn't proper and how I'm especially lucky that Peeta is overlooking that.
"You know Katniss, I did design work for Peeta, I mean, Mr. Mellark, before I became a Hunger Games stylist. He and I actually still talk on occasion. He's rather unconventional here, don't get me wrong, that isn't a bad thing but, I just worry that he's going to give off the wrong impression to the wrong people." He goes on like this about Peeta while he puts the finishing touches on my outfit."
Despite myself, I feel butterflies in my stomach, and I don't know if there because of Peeta or if I'm just nervous about going home and facing the people there. What will they think of me now? I have to put that out of my mind. I have to be resolute. I'm going to see Prim.
An attendant calls for me.
"All the best, Girl on Fire," Cinna intones before calling out, "I'll keep in touch!
There's no going back now.
"Katniss!" Peeta calls as I arrive at the station, "how are you?"
"I'm good Peeta, how are you?"
"I'm well," he replies as we move into the train, "I'm sorry about the delay I just wanted to see you off and make sure you didn't need anything before heading out."
"I can't think of anything, I'm sure they'll have the house well stocked once I get back to 12."
"I'm sure they will! But, if they don't, let me give you my phone number. If there's anything you need, I can bring it with me when I come to meet with Mayor Undersee in a few weeks."
I'm shocked, "you're coming to 12?"
"Yes, I'm set to be named President Elect on my birthday and then I head to Districts 9, 10, and 12 for meetings with their mayors to brief them on my agenda."
"Congratulations."
"Well," he begins "anyway, I don't want to hold you up. I'll see you soon," he says, embracing me.
"Getting cozy," Haymich says after Peeta has left.