Hi, finally, I finished chapter 38, but it became too long that I decided to split it in two. That's why the first part is coming today and I'll upload the other part this or next week. Have a good reading time!

38. Old Sins

The night sky lay peacefully over the Valley of Peace. In contrast to the lively hustle and bustle in the Jade Palace, where the entire village had gathered. The award ceremony was just taking place in the courtyard. All participants from the kung fu competition were lined up in a row. Po, of course, stood first, followed by Sheng, and then the other kung fu participants, according to the number of points they had collected during the competition.

Master Shifu gave a satisfied smile as he hung the medal of honor over Po's neck, closely followed by loud applause from the spectators. Po leaned down to him, not only so that Shifu could easily place the medal on him, but also because of deference to his master. Po's eyes wandered to the side, where not only his five friends and King Wang had gathered further away in the crowd, but also Ān-Mā, Ling, Shen and his family. Dao was lying on a gurney because he was unable to stand or sit due to his injury.

"Oh, by the way, thank you, Master," Po whispered to Shifu.

"For what, Dragon Warrior?"

"Well, considering that you and the grandmasters overlooked Dao's actions in Japan."

Shifu raised his eyebrows warningly. "We haven't discussed anything specific yet, Po."

Po put on a contrite face. "But we're still discussing it, right?"

"Dragon Warrior, we'll talk about that later." Shifu made a gesture of refusal. He still had to congratulate the other participants and went to Sheng next.

Shifu cleared his throat briefly. Although he had already planned out the words he wanted to say, but the thought of having to honor Shen's son made him uncomfortable. To this day, he had not fully come to terms with the terrible battle in Gongmen City on the fleets yet. Finally, he pulled himself together, took the medal and hung it around Sheng's neck. "You fought well."

Sheng smiled and bowed deeply. "Thank you! I feel honored."

Master Shifu just nodded at him and went to the other participants. The people around applauded with each presentation.

Po watched the bystanders. Especially Shen. He didn't change his face when Shifu handed over the medal to Sheng. Only Zedong made an acidulous face. He was probably still jealous that he wasn't allowed to stand in the row.

After all the medals had been distributed, as if on cue, rockets rose into the sky and started the fireworks display.

Master Storming Ox, who was standing near Master Shifu along with Master Croc, looked at the colorful spectacle with a suspicious glance.

Master Croc looked at him worriedly. "What's wrong with you again?"

"Fireworks," Master Ox replied darkly, not taking his eyes off the sky.

Master Croc frowned. "Uh, yeah, what's a festival without fireworks?"

Master Ox snorted. "Yes, only one person is out of place here on a topic like this." His gaze moved to Shen. It annoyed him that Shen's family had invented fireworks and that he was reminded of the dark backstory of the peacock family at every festive occasion. Especially that it had cost the life of one great kung fu master. Every time Master Ox saw fireworks, anger welled up within him.

Now Shen had also noticed Master Ox's gaze, and they both looked at each other venomously. Master Croc feared another impending argument and pushed Master Ox out of sight.

Meanwhile, the kung fu participants had scattered around the square and had mixed with the guests. Yin-Yu hugged Sheng. "I congratulate you, my boy."

And Po joined his friends.

"The medal looks good on you," Monkey said.

"Oh, thanks." Po rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. His eyes fell on Tigress, who gave him a friendly push on the shoulders. But before Po could thank her for the punch, Mr. Ping fell around his neck.

"Po! I'm so proud of you!" The gander then immediately detached himself from Po and excitedly he waved him over. "Come on now, we've already put the food out."

Po cheered. "Oh, yipiee! I have a Dragon-Warrior-Kung-Fu-Champion hunger."

Just as Po was about to run, he stopped when he saw Zedong standing next to him, still not looking happy.

"What is it?" Po asked uncertainly.

Zedong crossed his wings petulantly. "And there isn't one for me?" He looked at Po's dangling medal. "And who knocked out the idiot?"

Po looked contritely at his medal. "Well, unfortunately, there's no one else left..." He bit his lower lip as he thought he saw a sad expression on Zedong's face. Finally, Zedong turned around and walked away, still with his wings folded.

Po opened and closed his mouth helplessly. "Uh, listen, listen. You can have mine…"

"Dragon Warrior!"

Po flinched at Shifu's stern voice. With a pained smile, he turned to Shifu, who didn't look particularly friendly.

"B-but, Master Shifu," Po stuttered. "He did…"

"It's a kung fu champion's medal of honor," Shifu reprimanded him. "It must not be passed on to anyone else."

"But, Master. Can't you make an exception?"

But Shifu shook his head resolutely.

"Never mind," Sheng said, intervening and took his medal off his neck. "You can have mine." He held it out to Zedong.

At first, Zedong stared at him speechlessly, until he managed to move his beak again. "But it's yours."

Sheng smiled. "Then I'll carry out the law as the runner-up and hereby appoint you as runner-runner-up. Or junior master." With these words he hung the medal around Zedong's neck. "In recognition from brother to brother," Sheng added, stroking Zedong's head.

In the next moment, Liana appeared and gave Sheng a kiss on the cheek.

Zedong twisted his beak in disgust and suppressed his intention to say "Thank you."

Po had to laugh at this picture and put his paws on Sheng and Liana's shoulders. "Okay, then I would say: let's eat!"

Mr. Ping's buffet stood in a long row of tables. Everyone helped themselves with enthusiasm.

"I told you," Pong said, nudging his brother Mr. Ping in the side, "this new recipe is going to be a hit."

Po sat down at a table with his friends and the masters. Not far away sat Sheng, Liana, King Wang, Zedong, Shenmi and Xia. Only Jian had gone to the musicians with his musical instrument, a small pipa.

Shen had retreated a little further away with Yin-Yu. He didn't want to sit directly with the Dragon Warrior. Po didn't hold it against him.

Liu and Xiang were also sitting nearby, while Dao remained lying on a lounger and received the food from Ān-Mā.

Liu had placed Xiu on her lap and had to occasionally wipe the rice porridge off the little peachick with a handkerchief because Xiu kept splashing around in it with her little wings. Xiang, who was sitting next to them, pretended not to notice. But as Xiu played with the porridge again, she accidentally threw a load of it into Xiang's face. At first, Xiang sat frozen in his seat. Only when Liu hastily cleaned him off with the handkerchief, he thawed again. His eyes moved first in Liu's then in Xiu's direction. Liu flinched as Xiang raised his wing and touched her handkerchief and wing. But Liu noticed how he did it gently and even gently wiped the remaining pulp from his face with her. Xiang's gaze shifted to Xiu, who was embarrassingly sucking the tips of her wings. Apparently, she noticed the mishap she caused. At first, Liu was afraid he would reprimand the chick, but then Xiang raised the corners of his beak, took the handkerchief from Liu, and cleaned Xiu's wings. Xiu squeaked and patted the handkerchief. Liu smiled. Xiang smiled shyly back.

Yin-Yu, who had been watching the three, also couldn't help but smile. But she also noticed that, further away, Xia's gaze kept shifting towards Xiu.

But before she could ponder the reason, Shifu approached her.

"Could you tell your son not to paint the walls of the Jade Palace, please?" the old master informed her.

"Oh dear," Yin-Yu said in dismay. "Is he doing that again?" She stood up. "I'll take care of it right away." She nodded apologetically to Shen and walked away. Shen didn't stop her and looked after her thoughtfully.

At that moment, one of the kung fu participants stood up and raised a cup. "Dear attendees! Let us offer consolation to the Kung Fu champion and Dragon Warrior. Here's to the champion!"

Everyone joined in cheering.

Po blushed a little under his fur. "Thanks. I feel very honored, but you know, as important as this title is for me, it is and was a much greater honor and joy for me that today there are not only friends but also families among us. And that it ended well for all of us." His gaze wandered to the peafowls, but also to Pong's family and his brother Mr. Ping. "So I would like to express my joy for the runner-up because he has probably gained more than just a prize. I'm also glad that I was able to contribute a part. And for this reason, I would like to say cheers to the family. Here's to the families!"

As soon as he and the others had finished cheering, Po heard a woman's voice praising him from behind.

"Those were nice words from you," Yin-Yu whispered to him. In the meantime, she had picked up Fantao and had led him back to the tables.

Po blushed again under his fur. "Oh, I was happy to do that."

He was distracted when, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Shen standing up from his seat. Po expected some recognition from him, but when their eyes met, Po's blood froze briefly in his veins. Shen gave him such an evil look that it could scare any child. Po didn't know at all why Shen reacted like that.

Then Shen looked at Dao briefly, then he walked away.

Po remained seated, left with a question. "Have I done something wrong again?"

While Po was pondering over this scenario, Dao had also become aware. He didn't miss Shen's gaze and this caused the resentment to flare up again, which really gave him a stomach ache.

At that moment, Zedong jumped onto the lounger to Dao.

"Hey!" the peacock boy said to him cheerfully. "When you're fit again, you can teach me a few fighting moves."

Dao was so taken aback that he didn't say a word at first, while Zedong just kept chattering.

"You will teach me something, won't you?"

Shenmi, who was just passing by to get something from the buffet, stopped immediately at Zedong's last sentence. "Does that mean, you're coming to stay with us?"

Dao froze again. "Uh, I think... I don't know."

Dao looked confused and Ān-Mā, who was still near him, talked to him cautiously. "Or maybe you want to go back to Gongmen City?"

"Out of the question!", Master Ox snapped and stood up from his seat and immediately turned to Shifu, who was sitting at the table with him. "The last thing I want is to have a peacock in our Kung Fu headquarters again."

"That's okay," Dao interrupted him, to Master Ox's surprise. "I don't want to go back to Gongmen City anyway."

Ān-Mā looked at him in dismay. "Dao, it's your family's home. Where else do you want to go?"

"I don't know. Just not there. There are so many things there that remind me of my parents. I just can't stay there. I don't want to go there anymore." He looked at Ān-Mā resolutely but pleadingly. She shouldn't urge him anymore. Ān-Mā nodded understandingly. Dao had to come to terms with himself first. Nevertheless, the question of where he should stay remained open.

"Hey! I have an idea!" shouted Po, who had heard everything. "Just stay here. We have space and besides, maybe you could teach us something with your martial arts." His eyes wandered to Shifu. "Couldn't he, Master Shifu? There wouldn't be anything wrong with that, right?"

At Po's words, Shifu dropped the small spring roll from his chopsticks. For a few seconds, he didn't know what to say and exchanged looks with Master Ox and Master Croc. "Well, well... it..."

"Please!" Po begged and pressed his paws together pleadingly.

"I would help him settle in, too," Viper offered.

Po looked at her in surprise. "Why you?"

Viper blushed and looked away, embarrassed. "Uh, why not?"

Master Ox snorted and leaned towards Shifu. "Absolutely not." He took Shifu aside. "I'm glad that Shen is no longer there. I don't care if his son Sheng or Zedong want to join in. But to the rest of his relatives... Think of Lord Liang. It was a mistake from the start to choose him as the winner. We would have been better back then if we had chosen Lord..."

Shifu raised his hand in warning. "The victory was deserved! We had all made our decisions. This was the opinion of Master Oogway and Master Thundering Rhino. And we will respect their choice." His voice lowered. "Even if they're no longer with us."

"But this family only brought misfortune to kung fu every time in the end," Master Ox insisted. "We shouldn't even start with this family again. For Sheng so far, this is just a test of strength, even like a game. But Dao is battle experienced, I see, but not entirely trustworthy. We don't know whether he has criminal connections in Japan or what he did there. We can't trust him."

"Then he should get his chance to prove himself in the Jade Palace," Po's voice suddenly sounded behind them.

Master Shifu raised his eyebrows angrily. "Dragon Warrior! How can you…"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Master Shifu," Po apologized ruefully. "But you are doing Dao an injustice if you don't give him a chance." There was silence. "Okay! I don't know him very well either," Po admitted. "And I don't know what he had done in Japan, but I've been with him long enough and I know he desperately needs support. Especially mental ones. He grew up without a family all these years. And if you don't want to trust him, then I'll protect him."

Master Ox narrowed his eyes so that they were almost invisible. "You're taking on a lot for this cursed family." He leaned over to Po and whispered to him: "You'd better stop doing this before you ruin your good reputation with it."

Po frowned. "But I wasn't wrong about Shen. He's making good progress, isn't he?"

Master Ox shook his head. "That doesn't undo anything."

Po looked like he was about to start his counterargument again. But then he cleared his throat. "Then we'll ask Dao what he says about it." And without responding to Master Ox's protest, he went to Dao. "Hey, would you be willing to settle down here for a while?"

"But remember," Shifu intervened unabashedly, "we house the best students of kung fu here. So don't expect any vacation time here."

Po raised his paw in protest. "But he could stay with my dad for as long as possible…"

"Panda!"

"Alright."

"If he's going to stay here, then he should have the same discipline as all the other kung fu masters and students."

Po looked at him questioningly. "Then is he a student or a master?"

Shifu rolled his eyes, but didn't want to discuss. If so, he would only make such a judgment after observing Dao for a longer period of time. "So, what do you think?"

Dao's gaze shifted from one to the other.

Po looked at him pleadingly. "You stay, don't you? Now say something!"

"Uh, well… I…" Dao hadn't expected such a decision and was torn. But theoretically, he had no alternative. Gongmen City was dead to him for the time being, same his closeness to his brother Shen. He would have imagined Xiang sooner, but he wanted to give him and Liu time with their offspring and not be a burden to them.

"Dao," Ān-Mā said, touching him gently on the wing. "It's not a forever decision. You can always change your mind."

Shifu raised his eyebrows. But just as he was about to open his mouth, he was stopped by Ān-Mā's warning look. The old goat didn't want to let it get to the point where Dao was restricted in his new life.

"Or don't you?" Ān-Mā emphasized with a stern tone.

Shifu's body shook with indignation, then he gave in. "Alright, well, if it doesn't work, he can look for accommodation somewhere else. Until he stands on solid feet again."

Ān-Mā nodded happily. "Are you okay with that?" she asked, turning to Dao.

"Well…okay. Then I'll stay here until then." That was at least better than the other three options.

"Cool!" Po cheered, but immediately he became small again when he noticed Master Shifu's evil look.

Zedong reacted a little disappointedly. "But you'll teach me something sometime, you promise?"

Dao smiled resignedly. "Alright."

"But until then, he has to recover first," Ān-Mā said, taking Zedong down from the lounger. Then she turned to the others. "And all of you, give him some rest." She raised her hooves and waved them away. At least everyone complied with this request. As soon as everyone had left, Ān-Mā took a rolled-up piece of blue cloth from under her coat.

"Here you are," she said to Dao, "I brought you what you asked for."

"Oh, thanks." Dao took it from her hooves. "Then could you bring Xiang over to me?"

Ān-Mā nodded. "All right."

Dao watched as she walked over to Xiang. Xiang seemed surprised that Dao asked for him. But fortunately, he didn't hesitate for long. He apologized to Liu, picked up his crutch and walked over to Dao. He stopped next to his lounger.

Dao smiled at him. "Hi."

Xiang nodded uncertainly. "Hi. What is it?"

Dao held out the blue garment to Xiang. "Here, I want to give you this."

With surprise, Xiang took the blue cloth from him and unrolled it. Out emerged a blue robe.

"It belonged to father," Dao explained.

Xiang looked at him speechlessly. "But, that… I can't accept that."

"Take it," Dao insisted. "The color fits better than mine. Maybe father would have even wanted you to have it. You have exactly the same plumage as him." He pushed the robe into Xiang's wings. "I have to create my own wardrobe anyway." He waited for Xiang's answer. For a moment, Xiang didn't know what to say. He had never owned anything from his biological father. He stared at the blue robe in silence. The color really suited him well. He gently rocked it in his wings.

"Um, thanks," he said quietly. But then he had to sigh deeply. "Somehow, I wish, he could be here right now."

Dao also sighed. "Me too, somehow."

Now both were silent for a moment.

Then Xiang shook his head violently and picked up his crutch again. "Um, I'd better put it away."

With these words he limped away. Dao didn't mind and watched as Xiang disappeared into the crowd, towards the wall.

Shen pressed himself closer to the wall as Xiang passed him. He had seen Dao and him talking and watched closely what Xiang did next. He had recognized his father's robe immediately. Shen watched tensely as Xiang made his way towards the wall that was near the grand stand.

As soon as Xiang disappeared into the shadows, Shen wanted to leave his hiding place and follow him, but a good-natured voice next to him stopped him.

"Shen," he heard Ān-Mā and was frightened.

"Can you stop sneaking up on me all the time?" Shen scolded.

Ān-Mā didn't respond to this accusation and went on to talk about the actual reason for her approach. "Shen, you can't favor Dao just because he's your full biological brother."

Shen snorted, crossed his wings and looked to the side. "I can't do this."

Ān-Mā narrowed her eyes momentarily. "But you will have to do, one day. He is also part of your family…"

"How can he be part of our family?" Shen remarked snidely and turned away. "He was just the product of a…"

"Shen! If your father didn't care about him, he would never have written that he regretted never being able to see him. And," she pulled out Xiang's little feather, "otherwise your father wouldn't have kept one of his feathers just to be close to him."

Shen paused when he saw the small feather. "Where did you get this?"

"Your father had kept it in this little box with the letter."

She took the box out from under her coat. "He had hidden it in the archives, hidden in the wall behind your parents' portrait."

Shen's face twitched briefly. He recognized the box that he had found in his father's bedroom as a small child, where the little feather was also located. Now he understood why his father had overreacted so much when he had played with it.*

"Anything wrong, Shen?" Ān-Mā asked uncertainly.

Shen shook his head. "Oh, nothing. But no matter how my father felt about him, that doesn't change anything for me."

Ān-Mā took a deep breath. "Please. Accept him in your family. At least you should prepare yourself internally." She held out the small blue feather to him. But Shen pushed it away. "My father has no longer been important to me for a long time. Why should I still accept his opinion after his death?"

"But it has meaning for your brother Dao. Don't just do it for your father, but also for Dao."

Shen shook his head. "Even if I do, I can't undo it. Father and mother. They're dead and I can't help it that mother, apparently, loved me more than him."

"But that is not the only reason why Dao dislikes you," Ān-Mā added sadly. "If you hadn't destroyed the panda village back then, your brother would probably never have gotten this far..."

"You should never have made that prediction!" Shen snapped.

Ān-Mā gasped audibly at the memory of her old sin.

"You never should have eavesdropped," she breathed.

Shen growled angrily. "Yes, yes. You just wanted to do it quietly and secretly behind my back. Why wasn't I initiated from the beginning?"

"Oh, Shen," Ān-Mā complained. "Your parents were worried about how you had behaved all these years."

Shen folded his wings and raised his beak. "You can only achieve your goals with determination and hard work. You know why."

"Shen! You were all just kids back then."

"Do you mean, I was stupid?!"

"No, no, no. I didn't want to say that. You were just…" She trailed off.

Shen looked at her sternly. "What? What did you want to say? That I was a victim?"

Ān-Mā lowered her gaze. "Shen, it was basically just a boyish prank..."

"So that's what you call it, right?!" Offended, Shen turned away and went behind the bleachers of the grand stand. Ān-Mā followed him in dismay.

"Shen, I'm so sorry that it happened like that back then. But unfortunately, your father misunderstood it at the time. And then there was that terrible accident in the fireworks hall... there were three dead children... It's unimaginable if you and he had died in the fire, too... it would have been a catastrophe for China..."

"Don't ever remind me of this again!" Shen shouted, angrily pressing one of his wings against the wall.

"But you changed completely after that," Ān-Mā continued. "Even old Master Oogway tried..."

Shen turned to her harshly. "I told you, I don't want to hear about it anymore! Neither about him nor about anyone else! It just happened. And be glad he didn't die then. On the contrary, he's now sitting contented and prosperous in the Forbidden City and he can be glad that I didn't blow him up with my gun a few years ago if that panda hadn't shown up."

Ān-Mā looked at him with wide eyes, stunned. "Would you really have done that?"

Shen took a deep breath. "Why do you think I was so eager to conquer all of China? I wanted to have more than him." He was silent for a moment before looking up at the sky with firm determination. "I'm something better. And you know it. I wanted to be more than just a rich peacock from the provinces." Then he lowered his eyes. "But father never cared what I had to go through in that damn kung fu school."

Ān-Mā looked at him sadly. For a moment, she thought Shen would calm down, but then Shen kicked his foot against a vase with a scream. The woodblocks that were inside and intended for shows in the yard, fell to the ground with a clatter, surrounded by many shards.

At first, Ān-Mā was frozen. Then she looked at Shen, who was breathing heavily and trying to control himself. Then she shook her head regretfully. "Your anger controlled you back then."

Shen hissed angrily. "What was, has been. But that's not the point now."

Ān-Mā bent down and picked up two shards. "Shen, no matter how broken your life is, there is still something that can be repaired. Also mental suffering." She pressed the two shards together so that they fit together perfectly again. "Don't waste the happiness you have left because of old anger that has destroyed everything. You just have to find the right way to glue it together." She handed him the two shards.

Shen took them only hesitantly.

Ān-Mā continued speaking a little more courageously. "Dao had confessed to me that he expected you to be remorseful, or to apologize. Your actions back then had hurt him a lot."

At that moment, Shen let fall the two shards. "Are you seriously asking me to apologize because of you? After all, I did everything because of your prediction. You are the one, who should apologize."

Now Ān-Mā's patience finally broke. "That's enough!" She pressed her cane on Shen's chest. "Now listen to me carefully! You can't forever blame others for your mistakes. Maybe it was mostly my fault, I admit it! But you could have solved it differently with the pandas back then."

Shen looked at her angrily. "How?"

"You could have arrested the pandas..."

"How would you have reacted if someone tried to kill you?!" Shen interrupted her harshly.

"I just predicted that the black and white warrior would defeat you," the goat defended herself. "I never said he would kill you."

Shen turned his back on her, offended. "Then be more precise. In the future. But the burning sign proved to me clearly that he intended to kill me. Like the opposites of death and life." He clenched his winged hands into fists. "I had to kill them before they did."

Ān-Mā feared he would throw another tantrum, but then he lowered his wings. "But none of you had come to me then."

"We didn't know you were eavesdropping… but maybe you're right," Ān-Mā tried to avoid further conflict. "But your brother Dao doesn't understand. At least try to explain to him why you did what you did. And…" She hardly dared to say it, "and, at least admit that what you did back then was a mistake."

Shen jumped up. "Are you starting again…?!"

Ān-Mā raised her trembling hoof as if trying to avert disaster. "Shen! Please, please admit something just once in your life." She looked at him pleadingly. "Don't let it happen that you lose your brother again."

At this thought, Shen paused. Ān-Mā could see him trying to control himself, like a fire trying to contain its own flames so as not to start a forest fire.

Ān-Mā took advantage of Shen's enforced calm and said in a composed voice, "You don't have to answer, but please go deep within yourself. Wouldn't you like to undo all this dark part of your life?"

Shen looked up, but he didn't answer.

"Or at least undone for Dao?" Ān-Mā continued. "Maybe you two would have been happy siblings after all."

Both looked at each other. Shen still didn't say anything, but Ān-Mā seemed to see that he somehow wanted to nod.

Then he looked down. "Even if," Shen whispered, "even if I do, he won't forgive me."

Ān-Mā sighed. "You'll never know if you don't try." She swept the shards with her cane. "And believe me, it won't get any better if you repress it and put it off, as if you're scattering the shards of your life further away."

"And what," Shen asked hesitantly, "what if it gets worse after that?"

"Even if so, all is not lost, Shen," she encouraged him. "You don't have to bear the consequences of your mistakes alone. Because you are not alone."

Another silence followed. Finally, Ān-Mā thought it best to leave it at that. "Just try to explain it to him. Otherwise, he will never understand you. Remember that he is your brother. The only one you'll ever have. Do you want to take the risk of him moving away from you?"

Shen had no answer to that.

Ān-Mā smiled. "Just remember how you felt about him when he hadn't woken up from his drugged sleep."

Shen bowed his head in defeat. The hours of worrying about Dao and his condition had almost overwhelmed him a few days ago. No matter what happened, he would never have given him up.

At that moment, new fireworks lit up the sky. Both looked up automatically.

It aroused a deep melancholy in Ān-Mā. "Oh, yes. Your family's fireworks. It holds nice and not-so-nice memories." She looked back at Shen, who also looked back at her. "Don't you think so, Shen?"

With these words, she turned away and walked away. Shen watched her go in silence. Then he looked up again at the shimmering sky, where the rockets were competing with the starry sky. But this was no comparison to the colorful glow of the artificial fire.

Shen narrowed his eyes. As a child, he had loved fireworks. Until the day it almost killed him... He winced internally, but then he regained his calm. Here he was safe, nothing could harm him. There was really no comparison to the deafening boom from his childhood... Like the day the entire fireworks hall blew up... A day that not only changed his surroundings, but also his soul...

Meanwhile, in a dark recess in the wall, outside the courtyard, Xiang had packed away his father's blue robe, where a pile of other guests' luggage was stored. He had just carefully stowed the robe in a bag when he suddenly stopped. He felt like he was no longer alone. He listened intently; someone was standing behind him. Finally, he sat up with a soft sigh. After he had a secure grip on the crutch again, he dared to say something.

"Stop looking at me like that," he pressed through his beak.

Silence followed. Then Xia finally dared to raise her voice. "You don't want to congratulate my brother?"

Xiang didn't miss her scolding tone, but he still didn't turn to look at her. But he felt her piercing gaze on his back.

"Am I obligated to do this?" he replied instead. Only then did he turn to her. "I don't know that I would be obligated to congratulate him."

Xia narrowed her eyes. Then she walked towards Xiang. Xiang didn't avoid her gaze.

"Not that," Xia replied sternly, "but another duty."

Xiang raised his eyebrows. "How may I understand that?"

"I just want to tell you one thing. I'm warning you, just make sure you don't do the same thing to Xiu as you did to me back then."

Xiang crossed his wings. "Did you finally tell your mother?"

"No. So far only my father knows about it. And I don't want her to ever find out either."

Xiang let out a derogatory snort. "Fine, but don't expect an apology by me." He looked at her defiantly.

Xia took a deep breath. "I didn't expect anything different."

Xiang lowered his eyes. Then he opened his beak, but refrained from saying anything at the last moment.

Xia watched him suspiciously. "Did you want to say anything?"

Xiang raised his head resolutely. "No. Everything has probably already been said."

"Not yet," Xia protested, to his surprise. "I just want you to know that I'll be keeping an eye on you."

Xiang gasped indignantly. "Are you threatening me now?"

"No, it's just a reminder." She looked at him straight in the eyes. "If family ever means anything to you."

He noticed her bitterness. But he didn't want to humiliate himself in front of her. He couldn't and he didn't want it.

"I'm going to remember this," he replied instead.

There was silence, accompanied by mutual stares of contempt. Finally, Xia broke eye contact and walked away without a word.

Xiang watched her go with a gloomy look. The further she moved away from him, the more relaxed he became and his head became clearer again. It had been almost seven years since he had found out that she was not his biological daughter. She had also changed significantly. She had become more confident. Not like when she was still under his command. Neither do her mother and her brother.

Xiang unconsciously reached over his wing, where he still felt his mother's old scars that she had so cruelly inflicted on him. When he threatened Xia with a knife one night, he had felt a kind of satisfaction for a moment, but if he had been honest, looking back, it was as if his mother's evil spirit had taken possession of him. Some days, he had hated himself for it, but the anger towards women had been stronger. They should never have it better, or think they are better, just because they didn't have beautiful feathers like he has.

Xiang rubbed the back of his neck wistfully at the thought of Xiu. He hated to admit it, but he hadn't been a good father back then. Was he even able to do that now?

Then he suddenly remembered how Shenmi had told him that it was Xia who had caught Xiu and saved her from falling to her death when Ravan had thrown her off the roof.

Xiang rubbed his neck harder. As much as it disgusted him to admit it, he still couldn't help but breathe out a quiet, strained "Thank you," even if Xia had long since disappeared.

"Is Xia angry with you?"

Xiang spun around. He hadn't noticed Shenmi sneaking up on him.

When he finally regained his composure, he glared at her. "It's very naughty to eavesdrop on other people's conversations," he chided her.

Shenmi lowered her eyes remorsefully. "Sorry. I just saw Xia running after you and then I sneaked after her. Why did she mention Xiu?"

"That's none of your business!" Xiang said. "It's an adult thing."

Shenmi sighed in disappointment. "I don't expect that you explain it to me."

"Okay, then we won't talk about it anymore." With these words, Xiang grabbed his crutch and limped away. Shenmi followed him.

"You will travel to Mendong City again, right?"

Xiang stopped. "This is my home."

"But we'll see each other again, right?"

Xiang was silent for a moment. "That depends on your father."

Shenmi looked at him worriedly. "You both looked terrible when you hit each other."

Xiang sighed. "That wasn't bad." He looked at her. A slight hint of mirth flashed across his face. "Men do that sometimes. Or have your brothers never fought?"

Shenmi shook her head gently. "Never that hard."

"Well, with adults it's more violent." He paused briefly as he thought of the explosion in Gongmen City. "Maybe even a touch too violent sometimes."

Shenmi looked at him worriedly. "But you're not going to do that again, are you?"

Xiang let out an annoyed growl and waved his wing defensively. "Listen, why don't you go back to your family?"

Shenmi tilted her head a little. "But you're from my family."

Xiang looked at her dumbfounded for a few seconds, then hastily he shook his head. "It's all happening too fast for me." He turned his back on her.

For a while he didn't hear anything. Then he noticed the white girl walking towards him and standing next to him.

"And when will you be ready?" Shenmi asked hesitantly and looked up at him.

Xiang only gave her a quick sideways glance. "I don't know that. You can never tell. That's just how it is with adults."

After that there was silence again until Shenmi broke the silence again. "When are you leaving?"

Xiang shrugged. "Maybe tomorrow. At least as early as possible. Would probably be best for everyone."

Shenmi sighed softly. "Is it just because of dad?"

Xiang gasped briefly, then he shook his head defensively. "I also have to take care of my child first. I… Xiu has to get used to her home first."

"Are you coming to visit us?"

Xiang looked at her wistfully. This kid didn't want to give up. "We will see."

He pulled back a little. This did not go unnoticed by Shenmi. It signaled to her that he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"Okay," she finally said. "But before you go away, I wanted to…"

She reached into her coat pocket from her dress, but she hesitated.

Xiang raised his eyebrows suspiciously. "What did you want?"

"I, uh,… I just wanted to tell you that I'm glad you're my uncle."

Xiang let out a derogatory snort. "Don't get excited about it too soon. And besides, I'm still just your half-uncle."

Shenmi nodded. "Okay."

Xiang was satisfied with that and walked away.

Shenmi watched him go in silence. As soon as he was gone, she reached into her coat pocket again and pulled out a blue origami peacock. Gently, she stroked the folded paper. It was exactly the same paper form that she had given to Xiang two years ago. However, he had broken her first blue peacock in front of her eyes. It was only after their recent peace talks that she had the courage to fold a new one for him. But then Xiang's stern expression involuntarily brought the painful memory back to her mind and she thought it best not to give him this gift yet, for fear he would freak out again.

Sighing, she looked at the blue origami peacock. Then she put it back in her pocket. Maybe it was just too early for that.

*The Last Honor, Chapter 25