Hector was running out of time.
He could feel it in his very being. His control was hanging on by a thread. There had been a number of times in these past twenty years where he could feel his control waning, where he almost gave into the overwhelming darkness that threatened to consume him, but the feeling always faded eventually, and even if the time between his lapses in control were shortening, and it was just getting harder and harder to hold onto himself, he still thought that he had a good ten to fifteen years before he had to worry about becoming a dark spirit.
He hadn't expected to reunite with his family though, and he definitely hadn't thought that it would speed up the process so much.
Spirits were beings of raw emotion. Ghosts were born of repressed and unresolved emotions. Intense feelings that needed somewhere to go when a life was cut short.
Quirin had always told Hector that he was too emotional for his own good, and now that was clear to him. The storm that haunted him got stronger with his emotions, and the more he had that thunder ringing in his ear, the more lost he felt. And he was never more emotional than when he was with his siblings.
Every time he so much as looked at Adira, he felt relief that she was by his side again. Fear that it was just a matter of time before she left. Anger that she'd gone in the first place. Guilt that he hadn't been enough to make her stay. Sadness that even if she was back, he was gone, and he'd forever lost his chance to fix things between them.
For twenty five years he'd pushed his emotions away, and now he was being assaulted by them all at once. He couldn't take it. It was far too overwhelming, and it pulled him ever closer to the darkness that threatened to swallow up his sense of self.
The process had sped up, and it was getting even worse now that Quirin and Varian were in the picture. With the promise of seeing Edmund and property meeting Horace, Hector knew that any time he had left would disappear. He needed Edmund to free his soul from the duty that bound him to this existence. If he didn't, or, moon forbid, couldn't, then Hector didn't know if he'd be able to fight against the shadows anymore.
He knew that emotions made things worse, but he had no choice but to hold onto his hope and happiness. If it was shattered, he'd be left with nothing but desolation and anger. What had happened back in Quirin's house would happen again, and he didn't think he'd be able to come back from it.
Hector ran down the halls of the Coronan castle. He doubted the castle was drafty the way the one in the Dark Kingdom was, but he could feel the wind against his back, pushing him forward. Just like it had been doing for twenty years, the weather was reflecting his thoughts and emotions, and for once it was useful.
There were large doors in front of him. Guards were watching them, but Hector didn't pay them any mind. He effortlessly knocked the guards away, not even taking a moment to scoff at how ineffective they were at stopping a single potential threat. He just threw the doors open and ran inside.
He saw the youths that had trespassed in his tree before. Something in the back of his mind saw the young man at the Sundrop's side, recognized just how similar to the king he looked, and knew that he had to be Prince Horace.
It was something that he knew he should care about, but at that moment the only person he could bring himself to care about was Edmund. There was his king, his brother, standing right there. After all this time, he was here.
Years ago, Hector would have bowed before his king and showed him all the respect he deserved. He would have been a little reluctant to so much as look him in the eye. After all this time though, and all his hope, he couldn't restrain himself.
"Eddie!" He didn't wait for Edmund to react and recognize him. He ran right into Edmund, nearly toppling him over. He wrapped his arms around Edmund, latching onto him, and feeling like he never wanted to let him go, for fear of him just vanishing all over again.
"B-brother?" Edmund wrapped his arm around Hector. He did it instinctively, just to steady the two of them, but Hector still felt an unfamiliar warmth inside of him at the contact. He felt like he was going to melt right into Edmund when he felt his brother's grip tighten around him. That wasn't instinct anymore. It was just affection.
"You're frozen to the bone." Edmund said. Hector flinched at the comment. He felt warm himself, and he'd let himself forget that it wouldn't be the same experience for someone else. He was a spirit. He'd been able to figure out how to pull off a shadow of a physical form. He could touch and make contact, but it wasn't a mortal body. His form was cold, and unpredictable, and the soul of the one he touched would instinctively tell that something was wrong.
That was why Hector hadn't been able to stand the thought of Quirin touching him. His brother would feel the chill, he'd look at the shadows around him, and he would probably realize, just like Varian had, what was going on with Hector. Quirin was smart. Only a fool would try to keep secrets from him.
Hector knew this wasn't a secret he could keep for too much longer, but he wasn't ready to share it yet.
The only reason he indulged himself in Adira's touch was because she already couldn't stand physical touch. She said she was always overly aware of it, and it made her feel like something was inherently wrong. Hector had hoped that she would be so uncomfortable with touch, and so unused to it, that she wouldn't even realize just how wrong he was.
The part of Hector that he tried so hard to hold onto was screaming at him to back away from Edmund before he exposed himself. But he had no control. He just latched onto the warmth and company while he had it.
"You left." Hector muttered as he nuzzled closer to Edmund. The relief to be reunited with his family and salvation was strong, but his anger and sadness at being abandoned wasn't completely gone. "You were the only one who hadn't left. You were the one I thought I could always count on."
Edmund had sent them away, and Hector knew that Adira and Quirin wouldn't have left without that command, but he'd stayed in the Dark Kingdom. He'd always been just a short journey away from the Great Tree. If there'd been an emergency, Hector knew that Edmund would be the one most likely to come for him, which was why it hurt so bad to learn that, the one time he had reached out to Edmund, his brother hadn't been there.
…Actually, Hector asking to be released from this torturous existence wasn't exactly the first time he had reached out to Edmund. But he didn't like to think about the first time. The time where he'd called out for all three of his siblings, begging, pleading, for any of them to come back for him. He'd cried for his brothers and sister, and there was nobody around to hear it. The only response he got was the roaring thunder in his ears.
The sound of rain and wind that followed him everywhere, even when they found shelter from the storm, got louder. Hector stiffened and burrowed closer to Edmund. He knew he couldn't escape from the poor weather. It was far too late for that. But he had to try.
Edmund made a protective sound and pulled Hector closer until his head was resting against his chest. He could hear Edmund's heart beating, and somehow, miraculously, it overpowered the constant sound of rain that endlessly plagued him.
"I'm sorry." Edmund said. Hector didn't know whether it felt like something in him cracked, or if it was fixed. "I didn't take Adira at her word. Perhaps I should have." Hector was still upset that Edmund hadn't been there when he'd needed him, but that was something that he didn't necessarily blame his brother for. Hector knew that if Adira came to him, claiming that Quirin was giving up gardening forever and wanted Hector to teach him how to be loyal to the Moon again, he probably would have punched their sister in the face for telling such a blatant lie about their brother.
Twenty five years ago, Hector wouldn't have ever thought that he would willingly leave his duty, let alone beg to be released. But twenty five years ago, he hadn't been abandoned by everything and everybody he knew and loved. He hadn't been trapped by his loyalty.
He hadn't been dead.
"I should have at least gone to the Great Tree on my way here." Edmund said. "I should have confirmed Adira's claim for myself." He pulled away from Hector just enough to look him in the eyes. "So I will ask you now. Do you truly wish to be freed from your duty?"
Hector could practically feel the words in his soul. Normally, when someone was released from the moon's service, there was a big ordeal about it. By law though, all that was needed was the king's acknowledgement. If he said you were free, no matter how informally it was done, then it was official.
Hector did want this. It was all he'd wanted for the past twenty years, but that didn't mean that he wasn't scared. That he wouldn't miss his siblings. That he didn't regret the way that things had turned out, and that they'd missed their chance to make things right.
He wanted to hold onto his siblings forever. He wanted to be a family again, but he knew it just wasn't possible. It would take time to even be back on steady ground with them again, and that was something that Hector didn't have a lot of. His soul was unstable, and he needed to be free.
Knowing that his grief was just as evident on his face as hope was, Hector looked at Edmund with wide eyes. "Yes. Please, your Majesty. Eddie. I can't do this anymore. It's destroying me."
Edmund looked pained, but understanding. He put his hand on the back of Hector's head and pulled him close. He bumped their foreheads together. It wasn't a king-worthy gesture, but it was one of brotherhood, and that meant far more to Hector.
"You have served the Moon with more devotion than anybody could have asked for." Edmund said quietly. Hector shuddered at the words. "You have sacrificed and given yourself up, and I know that the Moon above recognizes all your effort. As have I. You've done your share of service, and it's only just that you get to enjoy the blessings. So I stand before you, as your king and the Moon's humble servant, and I release you from your duty."
Hector felt the change immediately. He felt it even past his hope and gratitude towards his brother. In an instant it felt like a burden was lifted off his chest, and it was a relief, but he didn't get a moment to enjoy it.
Hector stiffened when he felt the Moon's blessing leave him. It was something that he'd felt for nearly forty years, since he had first joined the Brotherhood and was exposed to Her watchful gaze. It had felt stifling and overwhelming at first, like there was an expectation that he could never hope to meet, but he'd gotten used to it and came to love it.
Hector had known that losing the Moon's support would hurt. It would feel like losing a part of himself. But he thought that was a necessary sacrifice to avoid losing himself completely. If everything went right, then it wasn't as though he would feel the loss for too long.
Hector mentally reached for the light that was always out of his grasp. His way to move on and avoid this eternal torment. Finding the light wasn't the problem, but he still couldn't reach it. The light wasn't any closer than before, and with that realization Hector felt the darkness tighten its grip on him.
"It didn't work." Hector stared blankly ahead, staring right at Edmund without truly seeing him. He felt cold, and the chill seemed to come from deep within him. He felt ill. He was a spirit. He shouldn't be able to feel sick. "It was supposed to work."
He felt Edmund's chest rumble. His brother was talking to him, but Hector didn't hear a word he said. The light rumble just reminded him of the roaring thunder that had been following him for all these years, torturing him. The thunder that was so loud that he could feel it shake the earth.
Where was he supposed to go from here? Edmund was his only hope. Hector knew that he'd been released, so why was his soul still trapped? What else could possibly be holding him here? Why couldn't he just move on?
"Why didn't it work?!" Hector screamed, his very soul crying. His voice echoed like thunder and he could feel his eyes flash. There was a loud crashing sound and suddenly all of the windows in the throne room shattered. Rain came pouring in like a torrent. The wind blew so harshly that Hector doubted anybody could even hear his scream.
The storm was getting worse. He couldn't control it, because he couldn't control himself. This had been his last chance. Hector knew there had to be a way for his soul to move on, but he wouldn't be able to find it in time. He was lost. The storm was going to claim him eventually, and Hector was scared that if he stayed here then it would happen right in front of his family.
They deserved to know the truth, but not by watching him become a dark spirit, losing everything he'd ever been. It was better that they remain oblivious.
Hector felt like his soul cracked as he pulled harshly away from Edmund. He closed his eyes and briefly stopped resisting the storm, just enough for it to carry him away from the others.
Hector had no idea what it looked like to the others when he did this kind of thing. He rarely did it, because it involved giving in at least a little bit to the spirit of the storm, and that terrified him, but nowhere near as much as the thought of his family's disappointment did.
One moment, Hector was in the throne room, and the next he was nowhere at all. He was everywhere. He was the storm. He felt it rage, and blow, and pull him every which way. He could feel the temptation to just stay here and fade into the wind and rain, but he was too scared to submit. He couldn't fight it forever, but he could today.
Hector yanked away from the storm's grip, and suddenly he was falling. Falling. Endlessly falling. He didn't feel any impact, but all of a sudden he was lying on the ground. He was too hurt, scared, and tired to even think about moving ever again. The only thing cutting through his emotional torment was the feeling of the rain falling on him.
He stared up at the dark skies. He didn't know where he was physically, but that didn't really matter. He was still stuck at the bottom of the cliff. That was where he'd been for twenty years, and until the day that he finally gave in, that was where he was doomed to stay.