Chapter 6
"I want to speak to Legolas in Sindarin. Can you two help me?" I ask, no nonsense.
The twins have been back for a few days now and this morning they're in the weapons room near the training grounds. Elrohir looks up at me from his sword and whetstone.
"Sure, what are you wanting to say?" He prompts.
"I want to try to have a small conversation. So, a greeting, I want to ask how he's doing, I also want to ask him to teach me archery, but I want to preface it by saying I have a bow and arrow at home that I'm not great at." I shrug. "It won't be much, but I want to try."
Elrohir nods and puts his things aside. Elladan also stops what he's doing to join us. I sit between them and listen as they walk through what to say. They also prep me on a few things he may say so I'm not just blindly sticking to a script and disregarding his answers.
"Now's your chance." Elladan says as we hear the thud of an arrow hitting the target. I peak around the archway and sure enough, Legolas is there practicing.
Suddenly I'm nervous I'll mess up. I'm in grade three again mispronouncing the words on the blackboard and the class is laughing. I bite and pull at the inside of my cheek out of nervous habit.
"Stop that and go." Elladan urges me.
I stand and take a deep breath. This is my first time actually practicing Sindarin and I almost decide to give up and stick to Common and just hope Lady Galadriel and any other elves there speak it too. Enough elves here are fluent that it hasn't been an issue. Since when did I let my past fear decide to rule my life again?
I square my shoulders and make my way over to Legolas. As I approach, he stops mid shot to look over at me. I do my best to give a friendly smile and he lowers his aim from the target to the ground.
"Gi suilon!" I say slowly to pronounce each sound. He looks slightly surprised but recovers quickly.
"Mae g'ovannen!" he greets me in return.
"Ci mael?" I struggle to pronounce the 'c' hard instead of soft like you would in English. Legolas smiles encouragingly.
"Ni mael, a gin?" He asks in return, likely keeping it simple for my sake.
"Ni mael." I smile back. "Maer chade. Sevin chade bilin na bardoren nae Im Û bain na ed." I struggle through the sentence but Legolas nods encouragingly at me again.
"Aníron geliad o gorn echa a thagrond o pen maed sui ci." By the time I finish Legolas has a dusting of pink across his cheeks and dread settles in my stomach. Oh god. I've never seen Legolas embarrassed like this.
"What did I say?" I groan. Legolas clears his throat and looks at the ground between us.
"That you wish to learn of… stiff shafts and poundage from someone skilled as I am." His eyes flick up to search behind me but I'm to mortified to care what's caught his attention. My face burns and I cover it with my hands.
"While these are not incorrect terms in regards to archery, it appears the order of words may be intentional." He says embarrassment gone from his voice. I drag my hands down my face and finally look over my shoulder to follow his gaze. Elladan and Elrohir are bent over hysterically laughing.
"I'm going to kill you two!" I yell and start to jog after them. I'm almost to the weapons room when Lord Elrond steps into view.
"Why are the lives of my sons being threatened this time?" he asks, exasperated. I feel Legolas' hands on my shoulders, restraining me, before he speaks.
"Elladan and Elrohir translated incorrectly for her, and Brielle relayed those words to me. I take no offence. No harm was done." He says the last part to me.
"Had I chosen a mortal life, those two would have turned me grey by now." Lord Elrond says shaking his head. "You two go on. I will deal with my sons."
There's a laugh, then commotion, then the three of us watch as Elladan and Elrohir take off down a path. Lord Elrond mutters something about 'swearing he has two adult sized elflings', then he walks off in the direction they fled. I turn to Legolas, effectively breaking his hold on me.
"I'm so sorry. I was trying to ask you to teach me archery, and I wanted to do it in your native tongue since you're kind enough to talk to me in mine." I say trying to explain myself.
"There is nothing to forgive. You did well until the twins ill translated request." I smile weakly and nod. "If you still wish to learn, you may join me." He offers.
"That would be nice, thank you." I say and follow him back over to the targets. I think he can tell I don't need any criticism right now and we just take turns shooting arrows.
The next couple weeks pass in a blur. Between spending time with the twins, practicing archery with Legolas, training with Glorfindel, and preparing my Christmas gifts, I don't know where the time has gone. I've got back almost everyone's gifts; I just need help with Lord Elrond's. Tomorrow is the 23rd and I'm running out of time.
"Um, Glorfindel, could you help me with something different today?" I ask.
"What is it?" He asks placing my sword back in its spot on the weapons wall.
"I want to get a gift for Lord Elrond for all his help but I'm not familiar with the healing herbs here. I was hoping to replenish some of the more rare herbs for him." I half lie to keep his Christmas gift remains a surprise. "Would you be able to help me with that?"
"Yes, however we should leave soon, before it gets too dark. Come. We will take Asfaloth." He says and heads for the stables.
"Um, will it be safe?" I pick at the skin around my thumbnail. This will be the first time I've left Rivendell in over 2 months and I'm suddenly nervous. Our departure in two days seems too real now; the dangers of the story I know, too close.
"You will be safe with me." He assures. I nod at his total confidence and follow him to his steed.
We ride a fair bit away from Rivendell and I feel like I'm constantly looking over my shoulder even though Glorfindel seems perfectly at ease. I stay close to him each time we stop and search for the plants.
"Athelas may not be rare, but it is a plant always in demand, so I suggest collecting it as well." He says bending down to cut away some of the weed I remember Aragorn and Sam using on Frodo. I bend down and harvest it with him before we're off again to another location.
"Thank you." I say when we're safely back in Rivendell. It's dark now and most of the trails are empty so I can safely and secretly bring my basket back to my room. I add it to my giant pile of gifts and crawl into bed. I let sleep take me quickly so I can rise with the sun to prepare.
The sun shining in my eyes wakes me. I fight it for a moment before remembering all I have to get done today. I hop out of bed, quickly change, then I get to work.
I start by sorting the items by the people they're going to. Once that's done I take the twine I got from the tailor and start tying the bundles so they're easier to carry. After that, I work on moving the gifts from my room to a table in the Halls of Dining. I persuaded Lord Elrond to block it off for a last goodbye feast for the fellowship and close family.
I place the gifts on a table and cover them with a light blanket even though there's no one here yet. Moving them takes me most of the day and I have just enough time to go back to my room and change before dinner is set to be served.
When I make it back to the dining area, it's full. Bilbo and the hobbits are gathered around one round table, Aragorn, Arwen, Legolas, Gimli, Boromir, and Gandalf are around another, and Lord Elrond, the twins, and Glorfindel are around another. The twins left an empty seat between them for me.
I take the empty seat and almost immediately plates of food are brought out. The feast looks and tastes delicious as always, and everyone must agree. The silence as everyone digs in speaks volumes. As everyone works their way through their meal, happy chatter starts to pick up. An elf off to the side also starts playing a harp like instrument to add to the ambiance.
Throughout the meal, Elladan and Elrohir eye my suspiciously covered pile of gifts and I do my best to ignore them. Finally, they get to me when I'm just about done my plate. I don't care about the last bit of food though because I love giving gifts and I'm actually excited. I stand and everyone turns to look at me, the intensity makes me nervous, and I subconsciously shuffle.
"Um, thank you all for attending this dinner, and thank you Lord Elrond for helping me set it all up. I thought it would be nice for us all to celebrate together before we depart tomorrow."
"We do not care about that, what's under the blanket?" Elladan grins and nods at my pile. I roll my eyes at him and Lord Elrond shoots him a warning glare. I walk over to the pile.
"Back home we have a holiday called Christmas where family gets together and exchange gifts. Normally we do it on the 25th but we're leaving so tonight will have to do." I explain.
"Sounds like Yule tide in the Shire, it does." Sam says and I smile at him.
"It's also a convenient excuse for me to thank you all for all you have done for me and all you're doing for me, taking me to Lothlórien with you." I say looking at Lord Elrond's table and then the fellowships tables.
I flip the blanket back and grab the five larger bundles of fabric first. I bring them to the table with the larger fellowship members. I pass the bundles to their owners and return to the table for the last four bundles and bring them to the hobbits. I watch as they all undo the strings and hold up the pieces to inspect.
"I had hats, gloves, and scarves made for you all. We're travelling through the winter so hopefully they keep you all warm."
I head back to the table and grab the book and little bags then go back to the hobbit table. I hand Bilbo the book and each of the hobbits a little bag.
"You said you enjoyed my stories so I wrote as many as I could remember down for you to keep. And those are granola bars, as close as I could get to the recipe of the ones I offered you on the way here from Bree, the ones with the chocolate on the bottom." They excitedly start to open them, and I laugh. "Save them for the road when you're hungry." I suggest and reluctantly they close the bags up again.
I go back to the table and grab the small box to bring to Arwen. She graciously accepts it and opens it carefully. Inside sits two pairs of clip on earrings. One pair are simple diamonds and the others are diamond studs connected to a chain that has a cuff for your upper ear.
"I remember you were fascinated with my piercings." I say fingering my own triple lobe piercings. "So, I had some forged for you. But these work with a spring loaded clip so you don't have to pierce your ears for them." I explain.
The twins are doing their best to wait patiently so I go back to the table and grab their gifts. I watch as they unwrap matching sword sheaths. The leather has intricate impressions of pinecones, leaves, and twirling branches running up the sides.
"You're sheathes were looking a little worse for wear after you so bravely cleared the way for me to Lothlórien. My hero's." I tease and they grin up at me appreciatively.
"The design is a nice touch." Elladan says stroking the raised foliage.
"Isn't it? The idea just… hit me in the head while I was walking one day." Elrohir chuckles at the memory. I'm to distracted by his musical laugh and I don't notice Elladan stand until it's too late.
"Ew, no, get off me." I say while trying to free myself from his embrace. I hear a few chuckles from around the room before he releases me.
I brush my clothes back into place, smooth my hair down, then glare at Elladan before going back to the table. I grab the only small box left and the basket and stand between Lord Elrond and Glorfindel. I give the basket full of Athelas, Milkthisle, and Yarrow to Lord Elrond and the Box to Glorfindel.
"I don't know much about healing plants," I admit, "but these were some Glorfindel said you'll always need." I say to Lord Elrond. I turn to Glorfindel and his face is full of emotion.
"It's the-"
"Elanor flower of my home." He cuts me off, gratitude clear in his voice.
"Yeah." I say quietly. "I had one preserved in glass for you. It can be used as a pommel for your sword if you wish. I had the smith enforce it so it could stand up to blows as a weapon." He's quiet as he stares down at the small, yellow, star shaped flower.
"Thank you." He says with an overwhelming sincerity in his eyes. I smile and incline my head at him.
"These gifts are so lovely and thoughtful." Gandalf says standing and facing me. "I apologise on all our behalf that we have nothing to give in return, we we're unaware of this custom."
"No, no! That's alright." I assure. "It's not about that. You've all done so much for me, and I wanted to say thank you." He nods in acceptance.
"Shall we move to the Halls of Fire to continue our celebration?" He suggests and everyone stands in agreement.
I walk behind Elladan and Elrohir as everyone makes their way to the Hall of Fire. It seems much smaller with so many of us in here, but it's cozy. I'm glad we arranged this last night of peace; it's nice to see everyone happy before our impending run in with the Balrog.
I chew on the inside of my lip. Lord Elrond said I should keep my knowledge to myself but how do I let these people walk blindly into that terror? I watch Gandalf smoke his pipe with Aragorn and thank myself for keeping my distance, it will make the unfortunately necessary temporary sacrifice easier.
"You are much too fair to be wearing such a frown." Boromir's voice pulls me from my thoughts. "What troubles you?"
"Oh, um, just worried about the journey I guess." I say.
"Fear not my lady. There are few foes we could not best." He says confidently. His eyes shine and I have to look away.
"I shall place my trust in all of you." He stands by me for a minute, taking in the small crowd.
"I will be glad to resume action on the morrow. We have stayed idle too long I fear." We both frown. "We could have made much progress had they allowed me to lead our group." He stares at Frodo, and it feels as if something has changed in him. I cross his gaze to stand on his other side and he seems to snap out of it.
"Alas, I wish to thank you for your thoughtful gifts. Should snow come upon us we will be supremely grateful."
"You're very welcome." I smile. I watch as his eye trail back to Frodo. "Why don't you tell me of Gondor, I've never been though I've heard it's a beautiful city." I say pulling his attention back to me.
He stays for an hour telling me of the White City and Osgiliath. He reminisces on the beautiful white layers, and the brave and strong men who tirelessly defend Middle-Earth. He speaks so highly of it all that his longing for his home is obvious. It's heart breaking that this love is also his downfall and he'll never get to see it again.
He also speaks of a blonde haired girl. He promised her that once the threat was eliminated, they would court with the hopes of a future together, but that he didn't want her to be waiting for him if there was no hope.
"I bid you goodnight, Lady Brielle. I could talk of my home forever more, but it appears others would like an audience with you. I will see you again in the morning." He says looking to our left where the hobbits are eyeing me.
"Goodnight Boromir, sleep well." He kisses the back of my hand then retreats to his room.
"We wanted to thank you for this night before we retired, Miss Brielle." Sam says and all the hobbits bow to me.
"You guys don't have to do that. I enjoyed making your treats just as much as you'll enjoy eating them."
"We thank you anyway." Merry says to me. I smile back at him.
"You're very welcome Merry, you all are. Sleep well. I will see you all in the morning." I say and they each give me a quick hug as they pass. I'd feel incredibly rude pushing them away, so I grin and bear it. Bilbo seems to notice, or maybe he just doesn't like contact either, and he merely nods to me as he passes.
"Lassie, you've got my size perfectly." Gimli says standing in front of me. I hold back a smile, he's got all three pieces on and his face looks red, like he's overheating.
"Gimli, you're going to overheat wearing all that in here." I say with a chuckle.
"Aye, you are right. Thank you for this thoughtful gift lassie." He says peeling the warm layers off reluctantly.
"You are very welcome, Gimli. I'm glad they fit well." I smile down at him. He bids me goodnight as well and leaves for bed.
Arwen finds me next and lifts her hair to show me the diamond studs I gave her. I compliment her and she thanks me. Lord Elrond joins us and thanks me as well, then they walk to the Halfelven Home together.
I look to the small group left. Glorfindel, Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas, and the twins sit near the fire drinking or smoking or just talking. Gandalf notices me and nods to the empty chair. I know I should decline and go to my room, but I sit and listen to their stories instead.
Half of me wishes I could stay right here forever in this fantasy world with characters who seem to care for me, but the other half knows that's not possible. I don't belong here just like I don't really have a place back home, but at least I was born and raised there.
"Brielle?"
"Hmm?" I ask coming out of my thoughts.
"Would you like an escort to your rooms? Aragorn and I are retiring and will be passing your chambers." Legolas offers.
"Oh, that's alright. Thank you though. I'm not tired yet." Legolas studies me then nods. He turns to Aragorn who steps to his side.
"We will see you in the morning. Thank you for the gifts." Legolas says.
"Thank you, Brielle, do not stay up too late." Aragorn gives me a stern look, probably referencing that night at the Prancing Pony in Bree.
"I won't." I smile up at him. "Goodnight." I say to them as they leave.
Elladan and Elrohir stay a while longer. When they do decide to retire, of course, they have to take every excuse to bug me. Elrohir leans in for a quick thank you hug but Elladan traps us both in his arms. I'm squished in the middle and there's nothing I can do. Eventually they let me go and leave. I consider leaving too. I'm tired but sleeping means leaving sooner, and time already suddenly feels like it's moving too quickly.
"Are you not happy to be going home dear?" Gandalf asks after a few moments of silence.
"I am… but I'll miss it here. There's nowhere like this where I'm from."
"I'm sure Lord Elrond would extend a welcome if you expressed a desire to remain here." I smile sadly at Gandalf's suggestion.
"I'm sure that would mess something up. I don't belong here." I say vaguely.
"Or maybe you do not belong there." He says. His words give me pause; like he knows something. But, I don't remember telling him anything. I wonder how Lord Elrond described my situation.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"Have you not wondered why you arrived here in the first place?"
"Of course I have." I say. "But, I'm not any closer to seeing why. Why me. Why here. Why now." He just smiles at me like he knows something. My brows furrow in confusion, that wouldn't be possible, there was no mention of an other worldly girl in the legendarium as far as I know. I turn my questioning eyes to him. He stands and places a hand on my shoulder.
"The wise speak only of what they know dear, I will say no more this night. Thank you for the gift." I watch as he leaves the way the others before him did.
Glorfindel and I sit silently in front of the flickering fire. He lets me work through Gandalf's words for a few moments. It's a tempting thought to consider actually belonging here, but it's also scary and sad. Belonging here would mean starting over and for someone as normally closed off as I am, that sounds daunting. That would also mean leaving the dogs and my sister behind. No, I couldn't leave my only true friend behind.
"Do you wish to discuss anything?" Glorfindel offers softly. I consider him. What could telling him hurt? I leave tomorrow and he already has experience with the fantastical.
"Has Lord Elrond told you anything of me?" I speak quietly; with just the two of us left, even whispers seem too loud.
"I only know of what you told me, that you are not from Middle-Earth." Orange dances across the left side of his face.
"Where I'm from, this is all a story, written in books. Frodo, the Ring, Sauron, Mordor, it's not real. Sauron having a hand in forging all the rings except the elven ones and therefore creating the Nazgûl, it's all background knowledge." I say and take a deep breath. "I know what Gandalf hinted at, that I should consider staying longer than Lothlorien, but I don't have a place here. I'm not in that story. I can't be, I have a sister back home waiting for me."
"I do not envy your situation. However, keep in mind, with great sacrifice comes great reward." It takes me a second to process his words.
"You think I should stay and see what happens?" I shake my head back and forth in denial. "You can't ask that of me. You came back but this was your home to begin with. I can't give up time to see what happens in yours."
"No one would ask that of you. I merely wish you consider every possibility when making decisions. Come." He stands. "It is late, and your journey will not be easy."
Numbly I stand and follow him. He escorts me to the door of my room and ensures I'm safely inside before I hear his footsteps retreat. I lay in bed, lost in thought. I'd like to believe I want to go home for selfless reasons, so the story doesn't change, and Middle-Earth is saved. But, I know it's really because I'm running; I don't want to get close to this group and have them ripped away. I don't want to deal with being left again. I have to go home before I get closer to anyone else. Decision made, I close my eyes and let sleep take me.
I wake with the sun. A sense of foreboding silence hangs in the air; the merriment of last night's feast completely washed away. I take one last proper bath, then start packing my things in the pack Lord Elrond has provided me. He also gave me a bedroll and a few sets of pants and shirts that I pack. I fold and toss in my Earth clothes, the tincture I'm using for birth control, some oils and soaps from Arwen, and my own set of winter accessories. I fill my water skin and slide it in my water bottle bag with the now crumpled plastic water bottle, my bug spray, and my phone.
Just as I'm making the bed there's a knock on the door. I quickly pull the corner into place and go to answer whoever's waiting for me. I pull it open, and the twins stand waiting. No one has any words as we take each other in for the last time.
"I'm really gonna miss you guys." I can't help myself, tears prickle in the corners of my eyes and I'd rather do this here in private than in front of the fellowship. The twins look the most heavy hearted I think I've ever seen them. Though, I imagine I sport a matching expression.
"Hey, no goodbyes, remember?" Elladan tries to smile down at me but the fact that it is goodbye for real this time eats at all of us. I don't fight my brain as it takes over and pushes me out of this painful experience and into autopilot. I smile up at them. It's a strange feeling. I don't connect to anything, but the sensation of performative happiness lingers on my fingertips.
"Well then, let's go. It's time for me to start my next adventure!" They seem startled by my change but quickly cover it. I don't fight Elladan as he throws his arm around me for the last time, or Elrohir as he pulls me into a hug just before we reach the groups eyes. My brains disassociation does a good job of keeping the discomfort of the contact at bay.
Lord Elrond, Glorfindel, Arwen, Lindir, and Erestor, are standing and talking to Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas, Boromir, and Gimli when we arrive. Everyone's wearing sardonic or sad smiles but I keep my cheery demeanor up; it seems to help the others do the same. I'll let this all sink in later when I'm alone or everyone is asleep. Glorfindel notices me and excuses himself to come to my side.
"I wish you to have this." He says pulling a sword from his hip. "It is one of my older swords. It is merely a precaution." He adds when I look like I'm going to protest. He fashions it around my waist and steps back. "I pray it serves you well."
"Thank you." I say.
Bilbo leads the hobbits to our group not long after. I watch as they take turns saying goodbye to Bilbo, who's trying his best to keep his composure. As the fellowship gathers and faces Lord Elrond, I step aside to Bilbo.
"I'll take good care of him." I whisper a promise to him while Lord Elrond addresses the men.
"Thank you my dear." He says and clasps my hand with his own shaky worn one. I let him take comfort from me as we listen to Lord Elrond.
"The Ring-bearer is setting out on the Quest of Mount Doom. On you who travel with him no oath nor bond is laid to go further than you will. Farewell, hold to your purpose. May the blessing of the Elves, and Men, and all the Free Folk go with you." He says.
We watch as he holds his hand to his heart then gestures to the group. Legolas and Aragorn mimic his gesture while the rest of the fellowship nod their heads. I'm about to move to the guys but Lord Elrond beckons me to him.
"Trust in these men as the road will be difficult despite my sons' efforts." He pauses. "I hope you find the answers you seek my dear." I'm almost snapped back to my feelings but I make a conscious effort to shove them down and paste a smile on my face.
"Thank you for all you've done for me." I say with as much sincerity as I can muster. He offers me the gesture he just offered the fellowship, the one I remember Thranduil giving Legolas in the last Hobbit movie, and I do my best to imitate it back to him.
"The fellowship awaits the Ring-bearer and Lady Brielle." Gandalf prompts. I look over to Frodo who looks trapped in place by uncertainty, so I move to him and clasp his hand. He looks up at me and I smile encouragingly down at him. He squares his shoulders, and we walk to the head of the pack. Before he has to ask Gandalf for directions, I tug him to the left. He sends me a grateful look.
The morning air is cool as we cross the last bridge out of Rivendell. Frodo seems alright now, so I leave him with Gandalf and fall back further into the group. I want some silence so I walk at the back with Boromir and Aragorn who are most likely to give me space.
When the sun beats down on us from directly above, I grab an apple from a pack Bill the Pony is carrying to eat as we walk. The hobbits rummage through their packs and pull out one of the granola bars I made them. I smile as they get excited all over again. I'm glad my recreation turned out just as good.
"We must hold this course West of the Misty Mountains for forty days. If our luck holds, the Gap of Rohan will be open to us. Lothlórien is there. Then our road turns east to Mordor." Gandalf says later around a fire.
Sam is cooking some of the food Lord Elrond sent with us. I help him hand out bowls to everyone, then we take what little is left for ourselves. Everyone eats quietly. For the supplies we have, Sam has done an excellent job on our meal. I tell him he's truly talented and a blush dusts his cheeks.
"I'll be right back." I say, standing, when I've finished my meal. Aragorn and Boromir watch me with frowns and Legolas sets down his bowl to stand with me. My face flushes and I clear my throat. "I'm just going to the, um, washroom. I won't be long." I say, embarrassed.
"Do not go far." Aragorn says to me. I nod. "Legolas." He says and Legolas sits back down.
I grab my pack and hurry away. I decide 100ft or so is far enough and squat behind a tree to do my business. I clean up with some of the toilet paper I stashed in my bag before leaving and burry the evidence. I groan. My hands already feel dirty, and I won't be able to properly clean them for a while. I trudge back to camp and sit back in my spot.
I rummage through my bag and pull out the tincture. Everyone watches as I place a drop under my tongue, but no one questions me. Thank God. I don't have to have that conversation again.
We all set up our bedrolls and I listen as the guys create a plan for night watches. It sounds like they're going to do shifts of 3 hours and rotate through them all so no one person watches every night. Though Legolas says he'll be awake, just resting, should anyone need help. They leave me out of the cycle so they can get use to a routine and because 'a lady is not suited for night watch' according to Boromir. Fine by me if it means more sleep.
We spend the next week in the same manner. Sometimes I walk with Boromir and we talk about surface level things, sometimes I walk with the hobbits and they tell me stories of their families at the shire, and sometimes I walk with Gandalf and he tells me of his travels. For the most part, Legolas and Gimli keep to themselves.
Tonight, they each sit to opposite sides of camp, tending their weapons while us humans sit around the fire talking. Sam's made another delicious meal and complementing him on them has become my new guilty pleasure; it's so adorable when he blushes under my praise.
"How old are you Miss Brielle?" Sam asks trying to shift the attention.
"Sam, you cannot ask that, it's rude." Frodo scolds.
"It's alright Frodo." I say with a small laugh. "I'm 27."
"That cannot be. Where is your husband, he is alright with you travelling alone?" Boromir says astonished.
"I don't have a husband. It's not really like that where I'm from." I say trying not to be offended. Things are different here.
"What is it like where you are from?" Merry asks. "You haven't told us much of it." I cringe internally. I avoid talking so I can avoid hard goodbyes later, but I'm on the spot now. I shrug.
"I left home at 19 to go study. Then my sister and I got a house together when she was old enough to study, and we lived together there."
"And your father approved of this?" Boromir asks, baffled.
"Men don't really control the women there." I say. Unless it's their thing and agreed upon. My brain supplies unhelpfully, and I hope the fire hides my blush.
"As it should be!" Gimli's accented contribution surprises me, but I lift my water to him in cheers.
"How do you find a husband?" Pippin asks.
"Similar to here I suppose. Find someone interesting, go on some dates, some people take a… test ride if you know what I mean." Aragorn chokes and sprays his drink, Boromir looks appalled, Legolas looks disturbed, and the hobbits just look confused, while Gandalf and Gimli seem unfazed. Okay, maybe wrong thing to say.
"Anyways, they're called a boyfriend or girlfriend first, while you're getting to know each other, then your fiancé when you're planning to get married, and then your husband or wife once you are married."
"Have you ever had one?" Merry asks.
"I've had 2 boyfriends. That's not many for someone my age there but I didn't find many people I wanted to pursue."
"What were they like?" Pippin questions. I bite my lip as I consider my answer. I have all their attention now and they're waiting patiently.
"My last one was great, smart, kind, hardworking. Made me want to change for the better in so many ways." I smile softly.
"Why did it end?" Frodo asks.
"Our priorities just didn't match. I wanted to focus on building a family and he wanted to focus on building businesses and careers." I shrug.
"What about the other one?" Pippin says excited for whatever info I'll give him.
"He wasn't so great." I say a little uncomfortably. The hobbits look at me expectantly while the others look like they're deciding if they should step in. "We were younger, he didn't take into account my comfort or what I wanted." I say vaguely, but not vaguely enough. Boromir, Aragorn, and Gimli look appalled, while Gandalf looks disappointed. Legolas looks confused and he leans to Aragorn. They share some whispered words, then he pulls away looking outraged. Wanting to avoid those questions, I continue.
"He would also say things and retract them later. Made it hard for me to take people at their word. It was a blessing in disguise, I guess. I pay attention to people's actions now instead of their words. It's harder to lie when you have to put effort behind it." No one really looks convinced. I sigh.
"Really, it's alright. It's not uncommon for women to have at least one experience like I've had." I say.
"Sounds like a dangerous place for women to venture out and engage in courting." Boromir says, disgusted on our behalf.
"You've got that right." I snort a short laugh out in an unlady like manner. "Though, sometimes home is not much better." I say under my breath. "What's it like in Gondor, or The Lonely Mountain?" I ask whoever's willing to answer.
"We cherish our women, and they are protected until they move households." Boromir says resolutely.
"Aye, Dwarven women are rare but just as strong as the men. They take no bullocks from us men." I smile at Gimli's confidence and security in himself and his kins roles.
"What about elves?" I ask Legolas, trying to stop his spiralling thoughts and emotions on my past relationships.
"Elves take one partner for life. Acts such as those you alluded to are unthinkable to my kin." I smile at his words. The thought of having someone to cherish and to cherish you like that is sweet.
"I think that's lovely." I send a wish to whoever's up there and listening that he finds his person.
Notes:
Gi suilon – I greet you
Mae g'ovannen – well met
Ci mael – are you well?
Ni mael, a gin – I'm well, and you?
Maer chade. Sevin chade bilin na bardoren nae Im û bain na ed. – nice shot. I have shot arrows at my homeland alas I am no good at it.
Aníron geliad o gorn echa a thagrond o pen maed sui ci – I want to learn about stiff shafts and poundage from somebody skilled like thou.