Chapter 11
"Mind your grip." Legolas corrects.
Today we've started with archery. I side eye him and give him a frustrated sigh. He stands tall, arms crossed, and unfazed. The sun bathes him in a glow similar to a halo. It makes him look even more perfect and I don't realise I'm staring until he raises an eyebrow at me. I flush and quickly turn back to the target.
I take a quick shot without much thought to it and, of course, it lands to the right. I slouch my shoulders in defeat. I'll just have to drastically aim left of my target forever. Legolas comes to my side and places a hand on my back.
"Stand up straight." His touch is warm, and, distracted, I feel myself straighten up.
"Good." He says. "Raise your bow." Again, I do as he instructs automatically. I notch an arrow without his prompt and aim at the target. I almost drop the arrow when I feel his hands on my hips. He twists them slightly and apparently my brain decides to let him manipulate my body however he wants. When he's satisfied with my stance he leans down next to my face like he's aiming with me; hands still on my hips.
"Loosen your grip." He says quietly in my ear. I swallow, but we both watch the tension leave my hand on the bow. "Good. Now aim for the center and fire when you are ready."
Fire when I'm ready? Are you going to let me go? How am I supposed to shoot well like this? I try to turn my brain off. I take a deep breath and a sweet woodsy smell, like cedar trees, floods my senses. Dammit. I squint my eyes at the target and focus on the black dot in the center. I pull back and release the arrow. It lands dead center.
"We'll done." He says, releasing me and stepping back. My victory is bittersweet. I finally hit my goal but where his hands were is now cold and oddly empty feeling. I turn to him, and he regards me with pride. I give him the best smile I can and turn back to the target, unsure what to do with the strange change in my feelings.
I continue hitting the center of the target for the rest of our training, but I feel unsettled. I want to be close again, but the concept is so strange. I don't know how to do that without being uncomfortable. Or maybe I just think I should be uncomfortable? Why do I even want that? Nothing good has ever come from it and I've been fine without until now. My arrow lands to the right again.
"You have tensed again." He says and I notice my knuckles are white on my bow hand. "Perhaps we should finish for the day." He grasps the bow and gently uncurls my hand. I don't fight it and let the bow go.
We walk back to camp in comfortable silence. I discreetly watch Legolas as we go. He seems so at peace and content in the woods. He looks at all the trees in wonder, like they're telling him millions of stories.
When we get back, Gimli calls Legolas over to the canopies where he's reading the book I grabbed for him from Moria. Boromir is playfully sparring with the hobbits. So, I move to sit by Aragorn. For a while I just sit beside him observing while he smokes.
"Thank you for getting me here." I say sincerely. "I don't know what I would have done all the way back in Bree if it weren't for you."
"I held you at knife point upon our meeting." He smiles teasingly. I shrug.
"Small details." He rolls his eyes at my disregard for my well being.
"I'm glad you are safe in Lorien now. Though, your presence will be missed on our travels." He says somewhat sadly. I bite my lip and look away. He clears his throat and I look back at him. His brow is raised in question.
"Um. I might come with you. I haven't decided yet." I say quickly. He looks alarmed at my confession.
"I was under the impression Lady Galadriel was to find a way to return you to your home." He prompts and I feel like I'm a little kid in trouble.
"She has. But um, I looked in her mirror." I tell him of what I saw, and the choices before me.
"You cannot be considering-"
"I don't really have a choice." I cut him off.
"It is a reckless decision based on the uncertainty of one source. Your time has history books of our success." He insists.
"I know, I know. But I'm not in those. What if my being here changed everything. Can I really risk the future of Middle-Earth and my sisters future for my selfish want to go home?" He gives me a disapproving look. I sigh. "I haven't decided yet. I can still go home. Lady Galadriel said as long as both rings are still here, the option is open to me. I have until you guys, Frodo, decides to leave."
"I know you wish to help, but trust your history books, trust the fellowship. Your home is safer for you." It stings that he doesn't want me to stay, but he's right. Middle-Earth, this quest, it's dangerous. I hug myself and turn back to watching Boromir and the hobbits spar.
Legolas shakes me awake. The moon shines brightly above us. It's too late for this, or maybe too early. The moon's kind of low so maybe it's early morning.
"Haldir is back." This wakes me and I shoot upright almost colliding with Legolas' crouched form. "He wishes to speak with you." I rip my blankets off and tug on my shoes. Legolas nods to the side of the camp and I jog over.
"You're back!" I smile. Haldir stands, hands clasped behind himself. "How was patrol? Did you kick butt?" I rush out. My excitement falls when his seriousness sinks in.
"It is time for you to make your decision." He says sadly.
"What do you mean?"
"The enemy grows bolder. We have cleared the way for now but we cannot guarantee for how long it will remain as such." I worry my lip at his news.
"It's too soon." He steps to me and cups my cheek.
"You are welcome to stay. I will ensure you are not alone here." I swallow. His words feel dangerously close to a confession, and I don't know how I feel about that. Haldir and I got close during my stay and our training, and I care for him, but to what extent I'm not sure.
Suddenly everything is too much, Haldir and Legolas, and having to decide my future now. A lump forms in my throat making it hard to breath. His other hand comes up to my other cheek.
"Breathe." He says and relaxes himself and his features, probably to try and calm me, even though the whole situation seems chaotic. I suck in a deep breath and force myself to relax. Panicking doesn't help anything.
"Think on your decision as you pack. Neither choice is wrong. Protecting yourself is wise. Saving Middle-Earth and your sister is an honorable sacrifice." I nod and he urges me back toward camp.
Everyone is awake now and quickly packing their things. My brain is uselessly blank while I pack and I'm no closer to deciding when the group starts to walk to the talan we first met the Lord and Lady on.
Lord Celeborn and Haldir stand on either side of Lady Galadriel. The fellowship stands facing them. Frodo is in the middle surrounded by the hobbits. Boromir and Gimli are on their far side in front of Lord Celeborn. Legolas, Aragorn, and I, are on the opposite side across from Haldir.
"Now is the time to decide whether you continue the quest or remain here until your passage home is clear." Lord Celeborn says addressing the group. I lock eyes with Haldir hoping for my answer to come to me or for some strength or something.
Lord Coleborn's warnings of the journey to come fades to the background as I check out. The vision of my sister running for her life with her little baby boy cradled in her arms floods my mind and I force my tears to stay in my eyes. They blur my sight, but I won't look unsure, not here. I only have one true option. The fellowship voices their desires to continue. Then the Lorien elves' eyes shift to me.
"I'll continue." I say shortly but confidently. Haldir gives me a sad smile and I can feel Aragorn look at me with weariness. I know they both wanted me to stay here but there's to much at stake.
I stand quietly, numbly absorbing my decision, while the fellowship debates the best path forward with the three wise elves in front of us. It's decided we'll start by boat on the Anduin and think of the direction from there. I follow as we head back down the steps toward the water.
"Never before have we clad strangers in the garb of our own people." We stand in a line as Lord Celeborn and the others dress us up in new cloaks secured by the small green leaf broach of the Jackson films. "May these cloaks help shield you from unfriendly eyes." Haldir adjusts my leaf then steps back.
"Your bravery will serve you well, but remember this is a burden you do not carry alone." He says to me. I smile and nod at him.
"Thank you. Now that I've chosen to stay I'm sure we'll see each other again, so no 'goodbyes' okay?" I voice past the lump in my throat. He gives a single nod of agreement then steps back. While we talked the others received their gifts and now Lady Galadriel looks at me troubled.
"I'm afraid my gift to you is a blessing and a curse." She says and gently takes my hand palm up. She places an intricately designed vintage style metal circular compact in my hand. I look up at her in question but she merely looks down at the object.
I click a button on the edge and the top pops open. Flat against my palm is a beautifully detailed compass but I have to hold back a sob at the inside of the top part. A sepia picture of my sister, her husband, and their new baby sits perfectly, calling me to join them.
"It came to me of the rings' volition, I assume in a final attempt to persuade you. Regardless, I think it yours to do with as you see fit." I swallow.
"Thank you." I say quietly.
"This sacrifice will bring you joy as well." She smiles at me softly.
She steps back as the boats are brought to the shore. The sun is up now, and we load the boats. I focus on packing the boat Legolas, Gimli, and I, will be in when I hear Legolas excitedly tell Merry and Pippin of the Lembas bread. I smirk to myself knowing they both ate much more than a single mouthful.
Legolas balances effortlessly as he helps Gimli in first. The boat wobbles and Legolas steadies him. Once he's settled at the front, I step forward and surprise both of us by easily accepting Legolas' outstretched hand. I don't feel like immediately pulling away, it's strange.
I sit in the middle of the boat on the floor and lean back against Legolas' bench seat while he helps the others push off. I lean forward again when I see him come back to us and there's only the smallest tilt as he pushes us off then hops in.
Aragorn's boat takes the lead, followed by Boromir's, and we bring up the rear. Being on a boat again feels nice. It's not the same as kayaking when I was younger but the breeze and being so close to the water is close enough. I gently caress the cool smooth water as Legolas rows behind me. When I think we're far enough from the elves' ears, I tease Gimli.
"Does my favourite dwarf have a thing for the elves now?" I flick the water on my finger at him.
"I am the only dwarf you know, lassie." He deflects gruffly.
"I may have been engaged with Haldir, but you seemed pretty tongue tied when Lady Galadriel asked of your request." I pretend I didn't hear him.
"Aye, the Lady of Light has no comparison. Her beauty and kindness surpass all else." He says fondly. "I have taken my worst wound, having looked my last upon that which is fairest."
"That's beautiful Gimli." I say seriously. "I'm glad you got the gift you requested."
"What was her gift?" Legolas asks from behind me.
"I asked for one, alas, she gave me three golden hairs from her head." Gimli says focusing on something in the distance.
"That is an honourable gift indeed." Legolas says. "Long ago, a great elf named Feanor, implored Lady Galadriel for a similar gift. Though he requested far more than you." Gimli and I turn our heads back as best we can to listen to Legolas' story.
"He was a great crafter and wished to create powerful gems called the Silmarils. He requested three separate times of her, locks of her hair to embed in the gems. She refused thrice and Feanor was furious." He explains.
"Why did the Lady refuse?" Gimli asks.
"She deemed his intentions and heart impure." Legolas answers.
"Seems she thinks as highly of you as you do of her." I poke Gimli in the shoulder. Pink tints his cheeks and he faces forward again.
For the first day, tall rocks and trees border the water. It puts us mostly in the shade and I'm grateful for the cloaks. Without them, I'd be shivering. The first day also flies by. When the sun starts to set, we pick the first edge we can beach on.
We don't go inland far, and we keep our fire small. We were gifted a few more bedrolls so everyone can have one again. We set them up close to each other and I slip into my bed. Legolas stays up to watch and sits by my bedding, at least until I fall asleep.
Day two I take my bedding and fold it up to sit on. Hopefully having some kind of cushion will prevent the numb butt I ended up with last night. We keep our boating arrangements from yesterday and head off as soon as we've eaten.
Part way through the day we come across some river that is too rough, so we pull to the shore again. The hobbits, Gimli, Boromir, and I, wait while Legolas and Aragorn go ahead to make sure there's a clear enough path for us to portage the boats.
"The way is manageable." Aragorn says coming back to our spot on the shore. "Boromir, would you aid me with this boat?"
Boromir nods and stands. The hobbits stand too and hurry to grab the supplies to empty the boat. I watch as the two men relatively easily flip the boat and lift it over their shoulders. I turn to Legolas.
"Should we grab this one? Gimli and the hobbits can walk between us with the supplies." I suggest. Legolas looks at me doubtfully. I cross my arms over my chest and Gimli laughs at my attempt at being intimidating.
"I used to kayak and portage back home. I'm better at it than I look." I say sternly. Sam and Merry quickly empty another boat and I drag it up the sand more.
Legolas, chivalrous as ever, quickly joins my side and pulls it the rest of the way up. I start flipping the boat, leaving him no choice but to help me. We hoist it up over our heads. Of course, being an elven boat, it's much light then I expected.
The hobbits hurry along before us with a good amount of our stuff while Gimli sticks close by them, axe raised. The path is single file and just big enough to fit the boat through. It must be a relatively well used path.
At the other end, Aragorn and Boromir are setting the first boat down. The hobbits stash our stuff in there and then face Aragorn to see what's next. It's decided Aragorn and Legolas will get the last boat while Boromir, Merry, and Pippin will stay with the two here. Frodo, Sam, and I go back for the last of our supplies and Gimli comes as protection in case of an attack.
Once all of our stuff is across the path, we sort our it and the people back into their boats, then head back out on the water. The river is wider here and we're mostly in the sun. The warmth is making my pleasantly sleepy and the thought of leaning back is appealing, especially since it'll be against Legolas.
My openness to it, desire for it even, surprises me. I try not to dwell on it though. It'd be nice to get over the feeling of needing to retreat from any contact. I turn back to Legolas.
"Would it be alright if I lean against your legs?" he gives me a small please smile and a nod.
I face forward again and scoot back a little. When I lean back his knees are the perfect height to support my head. I close my eyes and tilt my face up to the sun. A sense of calm fills me and I can't help the peaceful smile that takes up residence on my face. I'm so content I manage to fall asleep.
A shift wakes me. Legolas is turning the boat toward the shore again. The sun is setting, and the air is much cooler now. I must have slept most of the day. I sit up reluctantly. Legolas helps Gimli and I out of our boat then pulls it up a bit while we start setting up a campsite.
The guys sit around the fire debating which direction to go. We have maybe two days left on the river, and they still haven't decided. I sit to the side fiddling with my food knowing it doesn't matter what they choose. In a couple days we'll be separating anyway.
I worry my lip and look to Boromir. Nausea rolls over me. I don't want to let him die but what would the consequences be if I saved him? Would he eventually take the ring from Frodo? If he did would our quest fail? I release my lip before anyone can notice, and I look back at my food. How can I let another person die though?
"I will take watch tonight." Legolas says looking at the other two exhausted rowers. While Legolas doesn't look as bad as Aragorn or Boromir, he still looks tired. The guys agree and all move to their beds.
"I can watch tonight. You row all day, I'm sure it'd be nice to get some rest." I say to Legolas once everyone's settled. He looks conflicted. "I'll come sit by you and wake you the second I hear anything." I try to convince him, we really need everyone at their best and rest would do him well.
"Very well." He says and stands. He moves my stuff literally right next to his. That's a little closer than I was thinking but whatever gets him to sleep I guess.
He slides into his bedding and waits for me to settle next to him before he closes his eyes. For a while I just sit, watching the fire. It's burned down quite a bit now and emits the tiniest orange glow.
The woods at night are creepy. Even normal sounds like birds chirping make me jump. Though, the more I hear them the more they fade into the background. I grab my bag and pull the compass from it. It's hard to see in the dark but I can just make out the little black lines and numbers lining it to indicate the degree. There's also an orangey brown pattern on the face of the compass underneath its pointer.
The picture taunts me. It calls me to return home still, even though that's not an option anymore. There's a slightly domed glass covering it that distorts it slightly, but it gives it a sort of vintage look that matches the rest of the compass.
In the early hours of the morning Legolas wakes on his own saying he feels much better now. I don't understand how maybe six hours could be enough after days of rowing and nights of watches, but he does actually look rested. I lay down at his insistence to get a few hours of sleep myself.
I lean on the edge of the boat and rest my chin on the arm that's dangling over the water. My fingertips skim the top of it creating small ripples in the mostly still water. I can't imagine how the others feel. Even I'm getting sick of being in the boat and I use to live in them in the summer when I was younger.
I hear the sound of slapping and look to see Aragorn clapping Frodo on the shoulder to get his attention. Legolas guides our boat closer so Gimli and I can hear what Aragorn is saying.
"The Argonath. Long have I desired to look upon the kings of old. My kin."
I look forward. Ahead of us stand two giant stone sculptures. Two men in helmets point toward us. The size is inconceivable. How did they even get up there to carve those? I feel like an ant as we float between them.
The sound of falling water kicks my ever present anxiety up a notch. I know we won't go over the edge but there are mere hours until Boromir… I shake my head and focus on helping Legolas beach our boat.
The sun's still shining but we set up camp to rest. Aragorn wants to cross the lake at night then continue on foot. I keep my mouth shut and worry the inside of my mouth as discreetly as I can. Merry and Pippin need to get to treebeard.
The sun is warm enough, so I stand on the edge of the water away from our fire. I try to ignore as Gimli describes the rough path Aragorn suggests we take. Legolas looks to me, then down to my hands. I follow his gaze and realize I'm tearing at my skin. I pull my hands apart, fist them, and move them behind my back. He squints at me like he's trying really hard to read my mind, then I watch as he hurries over to Aragorn. I know he's warning him we should leave now but I can't make myself go over to back him up.
"Where's Frodo?" Merry asks. I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath before turning to the rest of the group. Thankfully they're too caught up in looking for him to remember I know where he is or to question me.
"I'll stay here in case he comes back." I say as the group decides they're going to split up. It's a flurry of activity lasting maybe 30 seconds from the time they notice Frodo and Boromir are missing to when I'm alone in the camp.
I prep his bag with extra food and water and clear out a boat for them. I struggle to push it mostly into the water so they can get away quickly. I plan on taking up most of his time convincing him to take Sam, and stalling so Sam doesn't have to nearly drown. The horn of Gondor pulls me from my thoughts and I look to the forest.
Frodo runs into camp looking back over his shoulder. I grab him by the upper arms to stop him from colliding with me. He lets out a grunt at the impact and sudden stop. He pants heavily and looks around frantically. He calms slightly when he realizes it's only me.
"I've made up my mind. You cannot change it." He says firmly.
"I know you're leaving. I'm not trying to stop you." I give him a small sad smile. "But take Sam. Please trust me Frodo and take him with you. You'll need him." I insist. He looks like he's about to protest but I continue.
"He wants what's best for you, at the very least don't get angry with him." He looks confused. I know it's cryptic but I'm running out of time.
"The ring is going to influence you the closer you get to Mordor. Sam will be patient and understanding, please try to do the same for him." I search his face; he still looks unsure. "Promise me you'll take him." He finally agrees with a nod.
"Okay good. I need to go help the others now. Goodluck Frodo, be safe." I let go of him and straighten. "Oh! You'll meet Gollum. He'll be a guide for you but only extend your trust as far as that." He nods again at my warning. I give him a quick hug and run off. I don't look back even though guilt of not being able to prevent this for him eats at me.
I stop to listen for any sign of which way to go. The horn of Gondor blows again to my right. I look at the sword on my hip that Glorfindel gave me so long ago; it hangs heavy. I take another deep breath and unsheathe it. I can't not try to save him. I thought I didn't want to change anything but watching Gandalf die was harder than I thought it'd be. And just because Boromir and I have been butting heads, doesn't mean he doesn't deserve my effort.
I run through the trees thankfully uninterrupted. All the orcs must be busy with the others. I hear Boromir tell the hobbits to run and I know I'm close. I push myself harder, ignoring the fact that I have no game plan or real experience fighting. All that matters is that I try.
I crest the hill to the right of the hobbits and Boromir. Boromir is doing a phenomenal job taking out the orcs encroaching on them. Merry and Pippin are behind him launching whatever they can at the orcs as well. It gives Boromir enough of an advantage to keep up.
The battle is so loud and chaotic I almost forget what I came here to do. The archer. Frantically, I scan the perimeter for him. He stands to my right a good distance away by a large tree. His bow is raised, and I watch in horror as he releases an arrow.
My breathing hitches as Boromir grunts and falls to his knees. Oh my god. He doesn't stay down long though. He stands with a battle cry and keeps fighting. Movement to my right catches my attention. Right. Focus.
Three arrows. It took three arrows to… I still have a chance. I move as sneakily and as quickly as I can. When he fires the second arrow the only reaction, I allow myself is a small flinch. I keep focused on my target otherwise.
I'm almost to him when he raises the bow again. No! I freeze in my tracks as he lets go. I'm too late. Merry and Pippin let out battle cries that send chills up my body and kick me into action. I couldn't save Boromir but Merry and Pippin are still here.
I throw caution to the wind and run down the hill. The archer has made it down to Boromir and I scream as I charge after him. Boromir and the orc look to me in surprise, but the other orcs are too busy carrying Merry and Pippin off to notice me.
I take advantage of the surprise. I raise my sword and launch myself at the beast. I get one lucky blow in, but that's all I need. It lets out a horrible, mangled cry before its head topples from its body. I watch horrified as it rolls to the side. I look to my blade covered in black blood, then to Boromir.
Oh my god. He's lowering to his back, struggling to breath. I toss my sword aside and fall to my knees by his side.
"I have failed you all." He gasps out.
"No. No, no, no, Boromir. You fought bravely. You kept your honour. You kept the hobbits alive." He clasps my shoulder and I grab both sides of his muddied and blood stained face. "You're a good man Boromir. One of the most valiant and noble I know." Tears brim his eyes and I fight to hold mine back, to be his strength in his last moments.
"I apologise for doubting you. Your presence has brought me much comfort." He says moving his hand to stroke my cheek.
"Don't apologize. Your words weren't wrong." I shake my head quickly. "I am just a girl. I don't belong here. I belong back in my home where I don't have to deal with any of this stuff. But I can't get back there. So, I'm going to do my best to make sure your home and your people are safe. They will not fall." He gives me a weak smile then his eyes glass over and his hand falls from my face.
"No, no no, Boromir. No!" I sob. I hug him to me and kiss the top of his head. His chest stops rising and falling. Footsteps thunder in my direction and unrealistically I pray it's the fellowship.
"Bring the girl!" One orc commands pointing at me. A few smaller orcs crest the hill. Before I have time to grab my sword again something connects with the back of my head. Stars fill my eyes before everything blacks out completely.
My head pounds and bounces repeatedly. I groan lowly. The pain radiates down my neck, and I try to adjust but I'm either really weak or trapped.
"Merry. Merry! Wake up!" I crack my eyes open at the sound of Pippin's voice. "Brielle, you're awake!" He says in an excited whisper. I nod.
"Is Merry alright?" I ask. Pippin looks back over to his cousin, worried.
"Please, my friend is sick. He needs water." An orc turns to him acknowledging he heard Pippin, but he ignores the hobbits request.
"Hey! He said his friend needs help." I demand as best I can. The group comes to a stop and a bigger orc like the one I killed -I killed… I'll have to deal with that later- steps forward.
"Sick, is he? Give him some medicine boys." The orc pours an amber liquid into Merry's mouth. It spills down his chin and neck to his cloak and he sputters awake.
"Hey, stop it! You're choking him!" I yell at the orcs.
"Let 'em down." The big orc commands.
Our arms are released. Merry and Pippin manage to stay on their feet, but I crumple to the ground. The big orc snatches the skin from the orc who just drown Merry, then he stomps over to me.
"You're the girl who killed my brethren." He sneers down at me then roughly grabs a handful of my hair. I flinch as he roughly forces me to look up at him. "You can have just enough to run but not enough to dull the pain."
He shoves the neck of the skin at me so quickly I don't have time to prepare, and I choke on the awful brown liquid just like Merry did. A small bit makes it down my throat and something akin to adrenaline spreads through my body.
"Now get up and run." He pulls me up by my hair and shoves me forward.
I stumble into Merry and Pippin. I steady myself then place a hand on each of their backs and push them slightly ahead of me. I keep myself between them and the orcs who were carrying us as we run. My whole body hurts but I don't stop.
The sun beats down on us as we run through the afternoon. The pace is too rigorous for us to talk and I'm suddenly grateful running was included in my training or I'd be much worse off right now.
We stop briefly around sunset. There's basically enough time to catch our breath and be given another swig of their liquor before we're made to run again. I put myself back between Merry and Pippin, and the orcs as we run through the night.
The air is chilly, but the liquor and the movement have me covered in a cold sweat. If we weren't moving, I'd be shivering. We run in mostly silence again. I don't know how things their size have such stamina. The orcs hardly look winded.
The sun finally rises and it feels like we've been running for days instead of hours. I am never running again if we survive this. I can't breathe, my legs ache, and my stomach grumbles but I don't dare stop until the orcs do.
The big guy who forced the liquor down my throat suddenly stops. The sun is high in the sky, I'd guess it's somewhere around 10:30 if I had a clock. He lifts his nose and sniffs.
"What is it?" Another orc asks.
"Man flesh." He answers.
"Strider." Pippin whispers. Merry, Pippin, and I, look at each other hopefully, while the orcs bristle with unrest.
"Keep moving!" The big orc yells. The minions scurry around us. "Faster!"
I hear two whips crack behind me and I usher Merry and Pippin forward. I know we're all tired, but we don't need to be tired and in stinging pain too. I won't let sweet Merry and Pippin suffer like that.