Itachi was taken aback by the question. The look on her face told him that the question had been weighing on her mind for a while. He hesitated, it was obvious to him that she was unstable and probably wouldn't remember their conversation in the morning, but those five words were still so powerful. He knew the answer, there was no doubt in his mind.

"Yes, I did," Itachi told her softly.

Harumi's eyes widened, almost instantly watering in the slightest. He loved her? She knew she loved him, but for him to admit he had feelings for her as well, it made her heart flutter. But then, his last word registered in. Her chest ached, 'did'. Past tense.

"What…changed? Did I do something wrong?" Harumi asked him, sucking her tears back in. She wouldn't cry, not right now. He stayed silent for a while, making her anxious for his answer. What if it really was something she did? What if he felt she betrayed his trust at some point? The thoughts circled her head. She needed to know. She wanted to know how he could have the heart to kill her when she would have rather died than touch a single hair on his head. She knew better than anyone that when she formed bonds with someone, they were sacred. Forming a bond with her was a guarantee that she'd protect you with her life, even more if that bond was especially strong and formed during a time she needed it. Those people would become her life lines, a reason to stay alive.

Itachi was struggling deeply to answer that question. It hurt him to think she could have been blaming herself all these years, even more so when he knew it was the exact opposite. It was all his fault. All the feelings she was feeling right now was his fault. His fault for cutting their bond so ruthlessly, for trying to kill her, for not killing her, for hurting her so much physically and mentally. He was the problem, it was never her. She didn't know how much it made his chest ache when he found out Pain was recruiting her, how much he regretted not killing her all those years ago so she wouldn't have to be put through this all over again. All the girl had ever felt her whole life was pain, and when she found happiness, they –no, he– managed to rip it apart all over again.

It was so selfish of him, to be relieved that he didn't kill her. He was already a bad man, but he was even worse for allowing himself to feel such a pure emotion he didn't deserve. He shouldn't be allowed to feel glad or relieved for not ending the life of the only other person in his life he cared for like nothing else. It was so conflicting. On one hand, he was upset with himself for not ending her life and saving her from all this, but on the other hand, he was also glad she was alive, that he didn't have to take her away from the Earth.

"You didn't do anything, it was just something that happened. Don't blame yourself," Itachi told her. That both helped her so much and didn't help at all.

"But then why?" Harumi had to ask.

Itachi shook his head, he couldn't answer that. She sighed, her eyes looking elsewhere. Why couldn't he just tell her? Who was she going to tell? She turned back at him, feeling the fire of joy from the alcohol being dimmed down by the ice of his words. She was looking for something, anything in his eyes to give it away, but none. They were as void as ever, only softened right now. She felt as though he treated her like a child who couldn't handle the truth, causing her hands to fist. She grabbed another cup to chug down, but Itachi held her wrist, stopping her hand and taking the cup away from her.

"We have a mission to complete. Being hungover will not serve you well," he stated.

"You know, I kept telling myself that I messed up along the way somewhere. I told myself that it must have been my fault for being so untrustworthy that you couldn't talk to me anymore. I thought so much about it because I trusted you with my life. Then, after a long time, I came to the conclusion that Danzo must've threatened someone or something very precious to you, probably Sasuke. Yeah, he's the only other one that's alive, the only one you talked about and loved so much." Harumi let out, unable to contain the numerous equations she'd been through in her head.

She had been meaning to ask for so long, to get her answers. When she saw his face of shock, she continued. "I also assume he asked you to do it because the Uchihas were so powerful, and he started getting scared that they could easily overpower him. The thing is, I'm wondering why you didn't just find a way around it. With your dad's help, and the rest of the clan, you could've avoided it. We could have all put our heads together and figured something out. You, your dad, the clan, me, Shisui, even Lord Third. We could have figured something out. But you decided it wasn't going to work. Tell me, what made you think all of us together couldn't fight against Danzo? We are- were the freaking Uchihas."

Itachi was taken aback by her words, though he was able to keep his stoic face on. She was missing a few details, but she had gotten down most of it. He wasn't too surprised, she was a very smart girl, and an excellent ninja. He watched her staring at him, her own mask crumbling. She just wanted him to admit it, that it wasn't what he wanted, that he didn't try to kill everyone for a reason she couldn't figure out. She needed him to confirm it.

He sighed. He knew she would have no memory of this, and he knew she deserved to know, but he doubted telling her greatly. He was sure there was already so much on her mind, he didn't want to burden her further, even in her current, drunken state. None of this was easy to talk about, surely for the both of them. He didn't like to speak of the past, as there was so much there. It was a painful experience for everyone involved, and the toll it took on him was immense.

His eyes scanned her features, knowing the toll it took on her must've been even greater.

"There was too much at risk. At the time, it really seemed as though it was the only option. I know you may not understand, but it had to be done," he replied. "It would have ended in bloodshed either way, killing the Uchihas myself prevented more death and suffering. It may be hard to accept that it was the only way, but you have to trust that it was."

Harumi nearly scoffed. Was he serious? That was his almighty response? She couldn't believe him. She'd been waiting for this answer for nearly five years, and this was it? This was what she'd been dying to know about? The thing that kept her up for so many nights, the thing she tried everything to decipher? She didn't understand why he was doing this. Why couldn't he just be direct with her and tell her exactly what happened?

"Trust that it was? How can I trust anything your telling me right now if you didn't bother to include anyone in your genocide-like plan? I know you think it was the only option, I know you're a genius, but to make a decision like that all alone?" She shook her head. "Because Danzo backed you into a corner? I expected better from you, Itachi. You should have talked to us. I know you were only thirteen, god, you were just a kid like the rest of us. But still, you were wise way beyond your years, You– you should have known better. There were so many people that could've helped you avoid this. Why didn't you let them?"

He could understand her doubt and why it seemed that way, and that it wasn't easy hearing that there was nothing that could be done at the time, but he wasn't trying to change her mind. He was just trying to explain to her as briefly as he could why what happened, happened, without giving any real details. No matter what he said without the details though, it would sound wrong. This was arduous, much more than he expected it to be. But then again, it was Harumi he was talking to. She was a brilliant, curious, and skilled ninja. Right now, even through her haze, she was trying to gather information to better understand everything.

"I know it is confusing, and I'm aware that it is hard to recognize my decision. There were a lot of other components I can't get into, but that doesn't mean they were there. The decision was far from easy, it took great time and effort to come to my conclusion." He let out a tired breath. "Either way, there's nothing we can do to change it now. It's done. We can't linger in the past about what ifs, we can only move forward and decide what we want to do next. Do you understand?"

Harumi's face scrunched up slightly in sadness. This conversation wasn't what she expected it to be. She was trying her best to convince herself that Itachi knew best, but she just couldn't. Not when there were so many innocent deaths involved that could've possibly been avoided.

"I want to understand, I want to recognize that you did what was best, but I just…I just don't believe it. Even so, you're right. I can't do much about it anyways, what's done is done. No matter how badly I want it to change." Harumi sighed. "But I need to ask you something important. Three days ago, you caught me, both you and Kakashi knew where I was. How? It's no coincidence that you both knew. Who told you?"

The thought of how both Kakashi and Itachi found her at the same time was extremely suspicious to her. She first thought the Akatsuki might've found out and secretly told the Hidden Leaf so that they could weaken her and easily capture her. But, as time went on, and she witnessed some of their powers, it didn't make sense. They were all so strong, and seemed a little too prideful of their strength to get others to beat her down first. So she thought more about it, and came to the conclusion that someone else must've seen and recognized her. She just didn't know who. She was always so careful about her presence when she and Hido traveled to towns, villages, and such. It didn't make sense to her.

"A woman. She is a Hidden Mist ninja. She recognized you and informed the Mizukage of your location, who then informed the Hokage. I believe the Hokage sent those ninjas to retrieve you. As for how Ifound out, Kisame still has some connections in the Hidden Mist village, and the woman. She let him know where you were when he heard that someone had given away your location," he informed.

She brows furrowed in confusion. "What was her name?"

"Akito Gen," he replied.

"Akito?" she asked to confirm. This was the girl Hido had come to really like. Had she really sold Harumi out? She was a former ninja, but maybe she was lying about that. She was probably still a ninja who happened to meet and like Hido, deciding to go out with him and later meeting her. Harumi's hands fisted. All of this, because of some girl her friend liked? If he ever found out it was Akito that ratted her out, she was worried he might've actually killed the girl. No, she herself wanted to kill Akito.

Her hands shook in anger as she clenched her teeth. How dare Akito have done that, and after they trusted her. After she smiled at them with that fake smile, after she went out with Hido so many times, after she made him so happy.

She's a liar, it's not that surprising. That's what humans do. They lie.

Harumi couldn't even disagree with him. She was a liar. Humans were liars. They always lied. It was easy. A lie is like paint, you use it to cover something. The truth. The truth was something hard to face, and though people won't admit it, it's a monster. Honesty broke people, hurt them, burdened them and even killed them. Lying was a beautiful cover that hid the ugliness of the world from kids. You tell children about happy endings, charmings princes, and kind princesses, when in reality, the prince only wanted the princess for her status and the princess only wanted him for the power. Lies protect us, heal us, deceive us into happiness. Liars are not bad people, they're just humans who want to forget the cruelty of the world.

But this was different. Akito wasn't trying to forget the cruelty of the world, she was trying to cause it. Harumi took a deep breath. She had to calm herself down. From Akito's perspective, Harumi was a murderer who killed innocent people and was on the run. Telling the Mizukage made sense, as she was a ninja who wanted to protect others from death. But telling Kisame? Telling another bingo book murderer where she was? Akito couldn't have been a good person if she had relations with Kisame, so many that she could, in fact, contact him and tell him where she was. Harumi shook her head, maybe he was blackmailing her. But then how would he know she knew where Harumi was? She bit her lip, maybe she had another good reason, maybe-

Stop making excuses for her. It's her fault you're here. Everything that's happening right now is because she told everyone where you were.

She stayed silent, shaking her head once more, confusing Itachi a bit.

You trusted her. Hido trusted her. She broke that trust.

'Like how Itachi broke my arm? I don't hear you complaining about him. She's not the first to do that,' Harumi replied through her thoughts before pausing. 'You sound angry. Is there something wrong?'

Panther growled. Of course he was mad. What that woman did…he would make sure she paid for it.

Yes, I'm angry. While Itachi was doing his job by preventing you from leaving, she didn't only do her job. She told Kisame –whom she might've been aware was part of a criminal organization– where you were. She will pay.

Harumi's eyes widened. He really hated Akito. But more than that, did he just defend Itachi? 'Did you just make excuses for Itachi? He didn't have to break my arm, that was his choice. The others were already out and I was already beaten.'

There is a reason he did that. You just don't know it.

Panther knew why, he could see it when Itachi was looking down at her after she slapped him. He had watched the boy for years, he understood he only ever did things that were absolutely necessary. It was hard for Harumi to accept, but Panther had been around long enough to understand people like Itachi.

She certainly was confused. Did that mean Panther knew why? Why wasn't he telling her then? She was growing frustrated, so she turned to Itachi. "Why did you break my arm?"

Itachi wasn't expecting her to ask that. She looked so deep in thought about what he said. Where did that come from? He watched her carefully, knowing his answer would deeply affect whatever she thought of him right now. He broke her arm to show the others he didn't care about her, that there was no friendship or relationship between them, and to show her she should never run from them. But there was another reason too.

The doubt in her eyes.

After she slapped him, there was uncertainty in her eyes, as if she was still clinging to the bond they had. It killed him to see it, how she still somewhat trusted him even after everything he had done to her. But here, with the others, he couldn't have her rely on him. He needed her to think she could only rely on herself. He would help her from the shadows instead, in a way in which she couldn't see.

It wasn't that he thought she wasn't independent, he knew she was. But her love for others got in the way. She put them first instead of herself, and would do anything to protect them. He wanted her to focus solely on herself while she was here, he didn't want her to worry about him. She needed to make sure she herself was alright, not try and help him if something went wrong during a mission. He knew her well. Her kindness went beyond what normal humans feel. And he knew the root of it. Her behavior, actions, they all had roots that he was somewhat familiar with. And she knew he knew that. So, he did his best to make her think he hated her and wanted nothing to do with her. He needed to keep her safe, no matter what. He had been doing his best to do that.

*Flashback: After Harumi's encounter with Team Seven when she was poisoned*

Itachi caught Harumi as she fell unconscious. His eyes softened as he held her. The last time he'd heard her voice was nearly five years ago. She had grown up so much. She was taller now, her hair had grown, but her gem-like eyes were still as beautiful as ever. He held her like that for a few more minutes, just taking it in.

He missed her. A lot.

He then held her bridal style before he began leaving the place. Some people gave him odd looks, while others giggled and assumed Harumi had fallen asleep in his arms. He didn't mind them, he simply continued his walk back. At one point, he went into an alley and began running on the rooftops instead. He then slowed down when he neared a restaurant with tables outside of it. His eyes fell on two people specifically. There, sat Akito Gen with Hido Aito.

Akito was the woman who'd told them and the Mizukage where Harumi was, the one who was the one that led him –no, them– here. His eyes narrowed at her, his grip on the girl in his arms tightening slightly. As soon as he realized, he loosened it back up.

To add to it all, she was on a date with Harumi's traveling partner and friend, Hido, keeping him both busy and entertained. Itachi had heard about him, and knew a bit about who he was. It hurt him that Harumi could no longer stay with the man, she seemed to be very happy. That would go away soon.

He then turned back, running to their hideout in the next town, very close to this one. He told the others he'd go retrieve her, and that's exactly what he had done. He soon arrived, entering the building. There stood Kisame, Deidara, and Sasori waiting. They all turned to him, Deidara being the first to speak.

"That her?" he asked, staring at Harumi.

Itachi only nodded in response. "She'll be out for a while. She'll wake up tomorrow at the earliest," he told them.

"I see," Sasori spoke up. "We should chain her so she doesn't try to run."

Itachi turned to him, wanting to say no immediately. No one but him knew, but she had a deep rooted fear of chains. Because of someone who still haunted her dreams. She was absolutely terrified of them, and he would make sure no one would bring those things near her.

"I think rope will be enough. We can set up a barrier around her so that when she awakens, we will be alerted," Itachi suggested.

The others didn't seem to argue, so he took her up into the room, laying her down. Even through the barred window, the moon's light still managed to peek through and illuminate her features. Her rosy cheeks, her pink lips, her long lashes. He brushed her bangs away a bit, memorized by her charm. He then picked up her hand, the one that used to hold his and caressed his cheeks or patted his head.

This was harder than he thought it would be. He grabbed her other hand, bounding both with a rope. He sighed, knowing this was something he had to do, no matter how onerous. She stayed still, and he checked her pulse to make sure she was alright. It was a little weak, but that was to be expected with the gas she inhaled. He felt the smallest bit relieved. He finished tying her hands, getting up and closing the curtains. He took one last long look at her as his eyes softened once more before he turned away. He closed the door, his stoic look back.

Kisame awaited him, grinning as usual. "So she's the girl who survived the massacre, ey? How interesting."

"We should set up the barrier now." Itachi walked past him. Kisame only shook his head, how intriguing this whole situation was.

Itachi, Sasori, and Kisame left the next morning, leaving Deidara to watch her for a bit. Little did Itachi know what he would come back to.

*End of flashback*

"Itachi?" Harumi broke his train of thought, tilting her head a bit.

"Because you seemed like you were still going to run," he lied before noticing her droopy eyes. She must've been tired. He then got up, helping her up as well. "It's time to go back," he told her. She nodded, leaving with him.

When they arrived back at the hotel, Itachi laid her back down on the bed before pulling the blanket over her. She said something so quietly he couldn't hear, but he didn't mind. He walked to his own bed, going to sleep once more.

What he didn't hear her say was, "I missed you."