Four days later...

It took four days to make repairs to the camp, to increase defenses, and to put their dead to rest. The rain had let up enough to light the pyres, a practice they had taken to employing for their dead after the experiences the Inquisitor had in the Fallow Mire. The Inquisition agents were placed carefully and lovingly upon their pyre while the Venatori agents were still in their haphazard heap. After the funeral rites were performed, Cullen sent out patrols to scour the coast in search of the Venatori base of operations. His orders were ruthless, but it was to be expected after the events a few nights prior.

Emery and the lads, now only Vernon and Sidney, made sure to cook meals that were easy on the stomach and on the lighter side since many- including themselves- were grieving their losses. Emery was growing concerned about Cullen, who had refused his meals outright or barely touched them for days, so the next meal time she made it a point to bring the food to him herself.

When she reached his tent, he didn't answer when she called to him and when she entered the tent, he didn't even look at her or acknowledge her presence. She could see that he had left yet another meal untouched but had taken to drinking heavily as was evident by the numerous empty bottles throughout the tent. A chair remained overturned, a table was smashed in half, and Cullen himself had deep bags under his eyes, messy hair, and his armor was cast off to the side in a heap- leaving him in disheveled clothes. Emery sighed and set the tray she was carrying atop a barrel that remained upright, then started tidying things up in his tent.

After several minutes, Cullen finally took notice of Emery's presence as she began clearing away the empty bottles. "Emery..?"

Emery stopped and looked at him, offering a small smile. "Hey, Commander."

"When did you come in?"

"A while ago. I announced myself, but you were so lost in thought you didn't answer." She looked around his tent, gesturing towards what remained of the mess. "Been having a party all alone, eh?"

Cullen sighed heavily and rubbed his face. "What are you doing here?"

Emery set the bottles she was holding in the crate that they had come from. "I came with your meal, but thought I'd tidying things up a bit for you." She righted the chair and came to stand in front of him. "You've not touched your food since the attack. You need to eat, Commander."

Cullen ignored her and raised the bottle in his hand to take another drink, but Emery put her hand over it and stopped him. "What are you doing?" He glared up at her, perturbed that she was interfering with his wallowing.

"Enough drinking, ser, you must eat something. Drinking away your sorrows isn't going to help much."

"But it is helping," he retorted and pushed her hand aside. He took a swig from the bottle, only pausing when Emery spoke again.

"Cullen."

He met her gaze, surprised that she dropped formalities. He could see an array of emotions etched into her own face and he sighed, lowering the bottle and letting her take it. "What am I doing...?"

Emery set the bottle aside and knelt in front of him. "You're grieving, just as we all are. We all lost someone important that day, but we still have to keep going."

Cullen closed his eyes. "We should have been more prepared... I should have been more prepared..."

Emery slowly put her hands over his. "None can be prepared for an ambush, Cullen. There was no way anyone could have known the attack was coming. The Venatori covered their tracks well, we saw no sign of them, but we did the best we could with the knowledge we had. You handled the situation appropriately, you were quick to action."

"I shouldn't have left her..."

Emery knew he must have been talking about Leah. "It wasn't your fault, Cullen. There's no point in wallowing over the what-ifs. Whether you were there or not, Leah still would have died."

"She'd still be here if I hadn't let her stay there alone..." he said, his tone somber. "If I had just insisted on her returning to camp, maybe she'd still be here..."

Emery scooted closer and took his face in her hands, gently forcing him to look at her. "Cullen, listen to me. It wasn't your fault. Maybe she'd still be here, or maybe she'd have faced a worse fate. Obsessing over it won't bring her back. It won't bring any of them back."

Cullen looked up at her, meeting her gaze. He sensed that she was talking about Wilson herself, recalling his name amongst those of the fallen. He couldn't find anything further to say, nor could he control the tears that had formed and began to slip down his cheeks. It wasn't until Emery embraced him and held him close that he finally gave in. He cried silently into her shoulder, his arms wrapping around her waist and back as his hands gripped her tunic.

Emery just held Cullen and tried to give him as much comfort as she could. She had already cried enough tears for Wilson that she felt as though she had no more to shed, but it broke her heart to see Cullen like this. She knew that he and Leah had grown to be close friends in their time together, but she also knew that Cullen blamed himself entirely for the deaths of everyone they had lost. She had never seen anyone as vulnerable as Cullen was in that moment. She didn't know what else to do other than hold him and let him cry.

Some time had passed and Cullen finally sat back. Emery reached up to touch his face and wiped the tears from his cheeks, her hands resting along his jawline.

"You alright?"

Cullen sighed. "I suppose as well as I can be." He reached up to place a hand over hers. "I'm sorry..."

"Hush, Cullen, there's nothing to apologize for. You're allowed to cry and grieve, just as much as the rest of us are." Emery pressed her forehead to his, closing her eyes for a moment. "I'll always be here for you if you ever need me."

"Thank you..." Cullen closed his eyes as well and they just sat there for a moment in silence. The silence didn't last long before Cullen's stomach grumbled and Emery sat back, chuckling a bit.

"Think you can eat some food now?"

"I suppose."

Emery stood and retrieved the tray she had set aside. "It won't be as hot as before, but it should still be warm enough." She set the tray down next to Cullen on his bed, then handed him the bowl of soup. "The lads and I made something light for everyone. Lots of folks aren't eating much, so we wanted to make something easy on the stomach."

Cullen took the bowl and ate a few spoonfuls of the soup, the lightness of the broth with the barley and vegetables a warm welcome. He didn't realize just how hungry he was until Emery chuckled and told him to slow down a bit. He watched Emery go about his tent, continuing to tidy things up for him. After he finished his meal, he took the tray back over to the barrel Emery had set it on previously.

"Feel better now with some food in your belly?"

Cullen nodded. "Yes, thank you." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "You didn't have to tidy things up."

"True, but there's no harm in offering a helping hand."

Cullen stepped closer to her and grasped her hand before she turned away again. "You've already done more than enough."

Emery gave his hand a squeeze. "We have to look out for each other, now more than ever. I'm happy to help, however I can."