Where Are We?

(One-Shot)

Disclaimers: I don't own anything apart from some DVD's/books for this series.

AN: This is a short standard prompt for "The Houses Competition" set in 'Marauders' Era' time. As I am old (ish), my views of them may vary from the young ones, including the fact that I am TeamCharlus/Dorea, have Sirius/James as distant relations through Black blood, as well as TeamTrans (as an ally). I do not accept any new stuff by Rowling.

House: Gryffindor

Class: Astronomy

Category: Standard

Prompt(s): 1) [Theme] Lost (Physically)/ 2) [Weather] Misty

Word count: 2,371 according to AO3 (5.5 pages)

Summary: In which, the fantastic four get all turned around.

"Guys," Remus began, glaring at his stupid friends who had gotten them all into this fix before scanning around one more time. "Where the hell did you bring me last night?"

"We're trying to figure that out," Sirius muttered. "Personally, I think this is your fault."

"Mine?!" Remus scoffed incredulously. "In what way is this MY fault?"

"You went running off after those weird werewolves that are wolves all the time in this forest," Sirius explained.

If two werewolves mated on a full moon, their offspring would remain permanently in wolf form. They have nearly human intelligence, but unlike regular werewolves who could be dangerous particularly during a lunar transformation, these versions remain deep in the forest, hiding away from society.

"I'm the werewolf puppy around here," Remus said. "You lot are supposed to protect me on my lunar shift. Not to get us all lost Merlin knows where! What if I attacked someone?"

"If you had then that would mean we were somewhere in civilization," James said. "We could find out where we are then. But instead, we are way out in the middle of the Forbidden Forest."

"We can't apparate out of here," Sirius began. "So that means we are close enough to Hogwarts to be blocked by its protective shields. We can't be too far off."

Wormtail scurried up to Remus's feet before changing back into Peter. "We need to get back to the castle. Classes should be starting soon."

"I think they already started about an hour ago," James said. "I have a Quidditch game today that I need to get back to."

Remus groaned. "UGH! It can't get much worse than this, can it?"

A loud bang sounded through the air. A moment later, rain began falling in torrents.

Three very unhappy, miserable young men turned sharply to glare at the young werewolf who grinned rather sheepishly.

"Oops," Remus mumbled.

"Oh, you just had to ask, didn't you?" Peter whined.

"Obviously, it can," James scowled, his messy hair lying flat for the first time in his life due to being drenched.

"I officially hate werewolves," Sirius complained as he glared at Remus while the water dripped off his hair into his eyes.

"Sorry," Remus spread his hands. "I can't control the weather!" He let a moment go by before adding, "Yet."

James looked at Peter. "Why did we get a werewolf for a pet, again?"

"Who knows?" Peter shook his head.

"I'm not a pet!" Remus snapped.

"Prove it," Sirius said. "Stop acting like one." He patted Remus on the head, ignoring the low growl.

James rolled his eyes before looking into the dank, gloomy expanse under the trees. It was misty now as the rain poured through the layers of branches to get to the forest floor. "Let's just start ... uh ... this way. Let's try this way." He moved forward, not really seeing the way due to the heavy fog rolling in.

This was rather unfortunate for James since the next moment, he suddenly became an instant professional ninja as he did a funny little dance, flailing his arms all over the place while hopping around. His sensational performance was completed with a few loud whoops (plus a whole lot of unsavoury words Lily probably wouldn't like had she heard them) before deliberately falling over to roll on the ground. He finally sat up straight, staring ahead.

"What just happened?" Peter asked.

James stuck his nose into the air. "I'd rather not discuss it."

"Did you just walk through a spider's web?" Sirius asked.

"No," James said, getting to his feet. He rearranged his glasses before going on. "I walked through TWO of them, one behind the other." The laughter from the other three was instant. James continued to hold a steady death glare until they all shut up. "Right. We're not going that way." He tried a different direction before stopping short. "Sirius?" James smiled oh-so-sweetly. "You first."

"Yeah, I'm not falling for that," Sirius said, still snickering. "I can see that other spider's web from here."

James made a rather rude V-sign with his fingers before attempting a third direction. Fortunately, this new path seemed clear so the four of them eventually fell in step one behind the other as James cautiously moved into the mist. The damp pressed in on them, making them shiver as they went only Merlin knew where.

The misty weather seemed to thicken as time went on while the rain steadily poured down.

TWANG!

The four of them continued a few more steps.

TWANG-TWANG!

"STOP!" Remus tried to yell in a loud whisper. "Stop, now! I know that sound! Don't move!"

"What is it, Moony?" James asked, turning to look at Remus.

TWANG!

The strange sound was getting closer.

"Hey, there are some lights out there," Sirius said. He started to call out but Remus leapt forward to hastily clap one hand over Sirius's mouth.

"I said be quiet!" Remus ordered again. "My father works with the paranormal, remember? That's a hinkypunk!"

"Oh, right," James said as he nodded. "A hinkypunk." He blinked a few times. "What's a hinkypunk?"

"Are you serious?" Remus stared in disbelief. They had briefly studied them in class recently.

"No, he is," James said, pointing at Sirius.

"James!" Remus glared. "We learned about them just a few weeks ago. Come on."

"I was busy staring at Lily," James said. "You know we're ... ya know ... doi—"

"Oh, believe me, we all know!" Remus cut him off. "Half the Tower can hear you guys."

"We put up silencing charms."

"Hmm, that's what you think," Sirius said with a cheeky grin that James wanted to hex off his face. "You two might want to work on that."

Speechless, James just stared. He was quite sure they had put up a silencing charm, or perhaps, Sirius was just lying about it. Maybe ...

"Would you guys focus?" Remus groaned. "This is our last year here, ok? I have no plans of dying in a hinkypunk bog so just follow me until we get through this mist!"

"Is it possible to just sniff our way through it?" Peter asked. "I mean, you've got the sense of a wolf."

"It's too wet," Remus replied. "Any scents we left last night are long gone. Now, let me get up front. Use Lumos on these pests." He lifted his wand. "Do NOT under any circumstance follow their paths of light. You will die!" He tried to move forward. "Jim, will you move?"

James was wiping his face with one hand. Looking rather disgruntled, he muttered, "I can still feel those webs."

Remus didn't bother to hide his snort as he pushed forward, picking his own path, much to the hinkypunks' displeasure.

Two hours later, they were still dodging the hinkypunks. The mist was so thick by now that it was almost impossible to see more than a few feet ahead. To make matters worse, Sirius had the clever idea of making a mark on a tree. They had now gone by that tree three times.

"We are so lost," James said, leaning against the tree. "We are never taking Moony this way ever again, just as soon as we figure out which way this way is."

Remus looked upwards along the towering trunk. "I need Wormtail."

"For ... what?" Peter asked nervously.

"Just show me the rat," Remus replied, putting out his hand just above the soggy ground.

A few moments later, Wormtail crawled into his palm. Remus held him up high, then switched to his wand. He levitated Wormtail all the way up to the first branch of the tree several feet above them.

"Grab on!" Remus yelled. Once the rat had its sharp nails curled into the bark, Remus released his spell. "Now see if you can climb up over the mist. You should be able to find the castle from there."

"Why didn't we think of that before?" James complained.

"Because we're idiots," Sirius grumbled.

"Cold, too," James added.

"Wet," Sirius went on.

"Tired," Remus finished. "LUMOS!" He shot a beam of light at a hinkypunk trying to get close. "Not today, you hopping cloud demon!"

"I think Remus is done," James said.

"So done!" Remus agreed, looking back up at Wormtail who had crawled upwards a few more branches. The mist was slowly obscuring the rat from view. "Keep an eye on those things," he said. "I'll watch for Wormtail."

Several minutes later, Wormtail reappeared on the lowest branch. Remus caught him up in his levitation spell to pull him back down. When Peter reappeared, the first thing he said was, "Well, the good news is: the Quidditch Match is going quite well."

"Great," James replied in a tone that clearly meant anything but 'great'. He was rather unhappy to not be playing.

"Why don't we just summon some brooms over to fly back?" Peter asked.

"Because people will see them zooming through the air," answered James. "They will find out where we are."

"So?"

"So," James began. "How are we to explain how we got out here just after a full moon? We aren't registered, remember?"

Peter sighed. "I suppose so."

"So what's the bad news?" Sirius asked.

"Oh, you guys won't like it one bit," Peter replied, leaning over to brush himself off.

"I already don't like it so what difference will it make?" Remus snarled, literally snarled, baring teeth.

"Hey!" Peter stood up straight. "Mind your manners. Have we taught you nothing in proper werewolf etiquette? No growling!"

"Wormtail!" Remus put his hands on his hips for a moment. "I'm not in the mood."

"Fine," Peter sighed. "It's that way." He pointed out the path.

Unfortunately, it led right through the main mass of hinkypunks waiting to kill them.

"Great!" Remus echoed James.

"Are you serious?" James stared at the shining mass of hopping, moving misty animals.

Remus pinched Sirius on the arm before he had a chance to complete the stupid joke he had going on with James since day one many years ago. "I'm really not in the mood," he warned. Sirius wisely remained silent as Remus went on. "I have an idea. I need Prongs."

"My antlers won't work on mist," James pointed out.

"That's not what I need him for," Remus said. "Hinkypunks won't attack animals. So I will ride you with Sirius while Wormtail hides in my pocket."

"Remus," James gasped. "I'm a stag, not a riding animal."

"You sound like Dr. Bones from Star Trek," Remus said with a short laugh. "But you're wrong. Lapplanders ride their deer all the time. It's no big deal."

"It's my back!"

"Prongs is strong," Remus said. "He's a big boy, a red deer. Just a little bit smaller than his Elk counterparts in America, but not by much. Prongs is a lot bigger than a tiny Lapplander reindeer. You'll be fine."

"Why can't Sirius be Padfoot?" James asked. "You can just ride me by yourself."

"I need to cover both sides if I'm to survive that mass of hinkypunks," Remus explained, jerking a thumb over to the group of gathering mists full of twangs. "Sirius can watch one side while I watch the other. It will only be for a few minutes. He can get off after we pass through this."

James slapped a hand to his forehead. "Seriously, why DO we have a pet werewolf?"

"I'm not a pet," Remus insisted. "I'm a vicious, slavering monster." He snapped his fingers. "Come on, now. I need Prongs."

James groaned. "How do I get myself into these situations?" He switched to Prongs.

Remus scooped up Wormtail before stepping up to the stag's wet side. "Oof! I thought dogs smelled bad when they're wet."

James reappeared in an instant. "Give me a break, Moony! I've been soaking for hours. Of course, my fur will be mucky."

Remus waited for Prongs to reappear before casting a drying charm on him. It only worked for a few minutes as more rain came down. He climbed up onto the stag's back. Sirius was too busy laughing for a while before he finally managed to sit behind Remus.

"Don't go too fast, Prongs," Remus warned, grabbing onto long velveteen antlers with one hand while holding up a Lumos spell with the other.

Prongs turned his head a little, giving his riders a one-eyed look before gently bucking up his rump as he trotted forward a few paces, making his riders yelp.

"PRONGS! I LITERALLY JUST SAID NOT TO DO THAT!" Remus all but bellowed as he landed on the thick neck. He pushed himself back into his seat.

The stag's body shook as he bleated a few times. The damn thing was laughing!

"Just for that," Sirius snapped, kicking his right heel in. "Giddy-up!"

"Padfoot, you didn't!" Remus gasped in horror as Prongs lurched forward.

Both his riders grabbed the antlers.

Once more, Prongs turned his head a little to glare with one eye. But both knew. Oh, they so knew. James was going to murder them for treating him like a horse.

"That was all Sirius! That was not me!" Remus yelped. "Now, will you both stop it? We need to work together to get out of here. Lumos!" He aimed for one side while Sirius finally started working on the other.

It was slow going as they moved through the hinkypunks. It was pitch black under the trees by the time they emerged from the bog even though glimpses of the sky above showed that it was still daylight beyond the trees.

A wind came up, blowing the mist through the dark trails until finally, a stag stepped out into the plain, carrying a young wolfman, holding a rat in one hand, on his back while a black dog stood by his side. They found a place to hide so that they could shift back into human forms without being seen before trudging back to the castle.

All four of them lost most of the points in Gryffindor's hourglass for missing the whole day, plus they earned a month's worth of detentions as well.

But none of them dared to tell what really happened.

They had gotten lost in the Forbidden Forest during a lunar shift.