Not long after, Emery took her leave and Cullen decided to try and get some sleep. It would not be a restful one, not by any means.
Cullen looked around for Leah after she had gone off on her own again and he headed off in the direction he was pointed to, seeing Leah's footprints passing through the soft earth. Other footprints were present, though, and there were a lot of them.
'Oh no, Maker please be OK, Leah...'
Cullen hastened his way to where Leah was leaning down, carefully placing the herbs she had gathered into her basket, and he was relieved to see that she was alright. "Leah."
Leah looked up at him, seeing how worried he appeared to be. "Cullen?"
"What are you doing out here?" he demanded, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword.
"Gathering herbs? What else would I be doing?" Leah stood, brushing the dirt from her hands and knees before retrieving her basket. "Is everything alright?
Cullen felt the sensation of being watched and his eyes narrowed. "What in the Maker's name would possess you to come out here alone?"
"I don't see what the issue is, Cullen, I've done so before numerous times and it's never been a problem."
Cullen glared at her. "Don't you know how dangerous the Storm Coast is? We have no idea how many of the Venatori are lurking here, not to mention the local wildlife."
Leah looked at him, confused by his tone. "What-" Her eyes widened and she took a step back. "Cullen, look out!"
Cullen drew his sword and turned just in time to defend himself against a surprise attack from a Venatori agent. He was successful in cutting a few of the Venatori agents, but when he turned back toward Leah, he saw her backed up against the edge of a cliff with a Venatori agent advancing on her. "Leah, hold on!" He started fighting his way towards her, but he wasn't quick enough. "No!"
The Venatori agent had reached Leah and drove a blade through her heart, pushing her over the edge of the cliff as they pulled their blade free.
"Leah!"
Cullen cut his way through each Venatori agent and when the last of them finally fell, he hurried to the cliff's edge. "Leah! Hold on!" He dropped to his belly and outstretched his arm, mere inches from where Leah was barely hanging onto some exposed roots. "Take my hand, Leah, quickly!"
Leah looked up at him, blood trickling down her chin from the corner of her mouth. "Why, Cullen...? Why didn't you save me?"
"I'm trying to save you now, so please just take my hand!"
"It's your fault I died, Cullen, you should have protected me."
Emery had come to check on Cullen before she turned in herself, but when she reached his tent, she heard him cry out in his sleep and rushed inside. Cullen was sitting upright, drenched in sweat and breathing heavily.
"Cullen, it's OK!"
She hurried to his side and caught him as he teetered forward. "Easy, it's alright." When Cullen looked up at her, she could tell that he wasn't quite awake still. "Cullen, it's Emery. Can you hear me?"
"I couldn't save her... it's all my fault..."
Emery shook her head and sat on the edge of his bed. "It's OK, Cullen, it was just a dream."
Cullen's eyes began to focus fully on Emery and a look of confusion spread across his wearied face. "Emery..?"
"There you are, are you alright? You were crying out in your sleep."
Cullen groaned and put his head in his hands. "I keep seeing Leah..."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Cullen sighed. "It's like the night of the bear attack is blending with the night of the ambush... bits and pieces from both memories blended together..."
Emery didn't know how to help really, so she just sat with him and held his hand.
Cullen turned his face towards her and rested his cheek against his arm. "What do you do when you can't distinguish dream from reality?"
"You find things to remind you of what is reality and what is just a dream."
"That's easier said than done."
"I disagree. " Emery squeezed his hand. "Does that feel real?"
"Yes..?"
She touched his arm with her other hand, rubbing it gently. "Does that feel real?"
"Yes..."
"Have you ever felt someone's touch in a dream?"
"No..."
"Just remember that feeling and it should help."
"And what if a hand's touch isn't enough?"
"Then you find something more impactful."
"Like what?"
"That can depend on the person. Some people need an item like an amulet or a coin or a stone to hold, some need to feel the embrace of another." Emery explained, continuing to gently rub his arm. She noticed he still felt a bit clammy and stood to get a towel for him.
Cullen took the towel from her and began to wipe away the sweat. As he reached up to get his neck, he noticed the look Emery had. "What is it?"
"I'm just worried, that's all."
"I'll be fine, Emery, I always am."
"That won't stop me from worrying about you." Emery sighed and looked at her hands. "It just seems more like everyone only looks at you as Cullen Rutherford, the Commander of the Inquisition, and not as Cullen Rutherford the man. It can't be easy to have so much responsibility and such a weight on your shoulders."
Cullen was taken aback by how considerate Emery was being towards him. "I'm sure it's no different for the Inquisitor."
Emery looked at Cullen, her brow furrowed. "Sure, but he at least has Lady Montilyet to help him stay grounded. I just wish you had someone like that, too." Realizing what she said, she blushed and looked away. "S-Sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." She made to stand, but Cullen grabbed her hand to stop her.
"Emery, it's alright. I appreciate what you said."
Emery squeezed his hand. "You should try to get back to sleep. Will you be alright?"
"I honestly don't know, but I'll keep your advice in mind." He squeezed her hand back. "You should get to sleep yourself."
"Do you need anything else before I leave?"
Cullen shook his head. "I appreciate the offer, but I'll be fine."
Emery hugged him, holding him a little tightly. "I wish you better dreams and more restful slumber. You deserve it."
Cullen returned her embrace and watched her take her leave. He lay back on his bed and stared at the ceiling of his tent for a moment, sighing deeply before closing his eyes to try and get back to sleep.