AN: Song for this chapter is Rewrite The Stars from The Greatest Showman. Enjoy and please R&R!
Chapter Four - You Think That I Don't Want To Run To You
Lily woke up feeling refreshed, and surprisingly warm. She moved a bit and realized she wasn't in her bed, but in the arms of James Potter. She blushed feeling his stiffness against her backside. She knew she should go to her room before he woke up, but she was savoring the feeling of James holding her. She lifted her head enough to look at him. She didn't know how long she stared at him. It could have been minutes or an hour. "Are you going to stare at me all morning?" His voice was deep and rough with sleep.
A corner of Lily's mouth lifted, "Maybe." She was happy it was Saturday and they didn't have classes. Lily tried to get up but his arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly.
"Uh uh, you and I need to have a talk." James kissed her temple.
Lily sighed and looked into his eyes. "James, I know you don't understand, but I won't let this happen. I can't let you die for me, I will do everything to keep that from happening. It's that simple. Now please let me go."
James frowned. "You're bloody right, I don't understand! I love you, and all I want is to be with you. Do you know whats its like to love someone so badly you would do anything to be with them?"
"Of course I do!" Lily yelled. "You think it doesn't kill me to have reject you, to make you think I hate you!"
James forgot his frustration in lieu of his shock. "You love me?" He watched her eyes closely.
Lily mentally growned, the cat was out of the bag now. Now he would never let her go. "Yes." She let out a sigh. "But we can't be together, I am not going to change my mind on this." She took advantage of his lax hold and stood up. "I'm sorry." She went towards the stairs to her room.
James jumped over the back of the sofa and ran into her path and cut off her escape. "I'm sorry too, I will never give up Lily. One day I will make you see that." He reached out and cupped the side of her face. "I love you, and some things are worth dying for."
Lily closed her eyes. "And some things just aren't meant to be." She opened her teary eyes and looked at him. "Some things are doomed to fail." She ducked under his arm and went up the stairs.
,{ Later That Day }.
Remus knew something was up. James couldn't go three minutes without staring at Lily. It wasn't unusual in the past, but he had stopped that in 5th year. Remus was determined to find out, He waited until they were alone. "Prongs, whats going on with you?"
James looked at Remus and feigned innocence. "What do you mean?"
Remus gave him a disbelieving look. "You know exactly what I mean."
James sighed running his hand through his hair, "Lily told me she loves me."
Remus lifted an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be bouncing off the walls in celebration?"
James shook his head. "She says she can't be with me. She has these recurring nightmares that if we got together I end up dying for her. She says she won't risk my life. I don't know what to do." He sighed, "I'm out of ideas."
Remus hated seeing James in so much turmoil. "Maybe I could talk to her." He tapped his finger on his lip. "Sometimes it takes an outside view to put things in perspective."
James smiled slightly. "Thanks, you're a good friend."
.{ The Next Night }.
Remus found her that night using the map. She was obviously hiding from James. He sat next to her at the lake, the leaves crunching as he did so. "Evening Lily." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a chocolate bar. He offered her a piece as he popped one into his mouth, She smiled slightly and shook her head. "You sure? I find chocolate can cure almost anything."
Lily grinned."No thank you." She looked at the sky, the smile falling away from her face. "I suppose James told you?" Her breath was visible in the cool air.
Remus nodded. "Just the bit about you loving him and nightmares." He watched as a tear fell. "If I may…?"
Lily nodded. "Go ahead."
Remus looked at her as she kept her gaze on the sky. "This is a time of war and uncertainty, every day is a blessing. You may die tomorrow or when you're old and gray. All we have for sure is the here and now. The best thing you can do, that any of us can do, is live while we can. James is already a target for deatheaters being not only a 'blood traitor', but by being the son of a powerful auror, not to mention his own magical talents. Being with him wouldn't make as much of a difference as you think. But it would mean he was happy for even a brief time. And you would be happy too."
Lily wiped her tear and took the offered hanky. "Thanks." She looked at him finally, "For the talk too." She handed his hanky back. Remus stood and offered his hand to help her up, ever the gentleman. Lily took his hand. "I think I'll have a little stroll before I go in."
Remus nodded. "Don't be too long, its freezing." He shivered dramatically.
Lily laughed, "I promise." She watched as his cloak faded into the distance. She turned and walked by the moonlit lake. She was just about to go in when she heard a twig snap behind her…