Chapter 2: I Am Loved

When Monica woke up again, in her bed in the beach house in Montauk, she was crying.

She was overwhelmed by her dream, and to her stunned shock, more than a little aroused. She actually cursed herself that she had ever woken up – while the dream had been the last thing she expected, she now craved everything that had been foretold in it. It was like, for one brief shining moment, being in heaven, only to be yanked back out again. Why couldn't she have just stayed in the dream a little longer – one in which she was a mother to two gorgeous children, and wife to a husband who also happened to be her best friend? Why did she have to wake up?

Monica now started. She knew why. She had to wake up so she could claim that dream for herself – if she still had time.

While the thought of some future in which she was married to Chandler had left her astonished at first, any discomfort she might have felt within her dream had quickly melted away. The Chandler in her dream was one she only saw in real life on rare occasions – confident, self-assured. The tenderness and attentiveness he had always shown her had been there, just heightened. Monica now felt a warmth flood her chest at the same time a blush colored her cheeks.

She now sucked in a breath sharply as her mind began to replay not only the dream, but the events of the past few days: Chandler offering to be her boyfriend, then asking her later why he wasn't boyfriend material. Then there was the moment last night when he had asked her out on his knees at the beach house door.

At the time, she had assumed he had just been making his usual teasing jokes, but what if he hadn't been? If Chandler was serious, about wanting to be with her, hadn't he proven that yesterday when he had…. She blushed as she recalled how he had peed on her to take away her pain from the jellyfish sting. What if she had been too quick to laugh off something that could be amazing? Monica blanched as she wondered if she had hurt his feelings. If she had sent him a signal with her chuckles and eye-rolls, was it too late to take it back?

She sprang out of bed, not even bothering to change out of her pajamas. The first grey lights of dawn were percolating in, though the rest of the beach house was quiet.

Liquid adrenaline fueling her blood, Monica tiptoed out into the hallway, stealing to Chandler's room. Opening the door, her beaming smile faltered when light was strewn across an empty bed. Humming to herself, she padded downstairs and checked the kitchen – also bare.

Monica glanced out the window. There, beyond the back deck, more on his way to the dunes and the beach itself, she saw his spiky chestnut hair, his back to her, watching the sunrise.

Her heart performing an odd kind of leap in her chest, Monica ran out into the early morning. She could feel butterflies in her stomach the nearer she drew to him, along with a deep-seated terror that she was too late. And even if she wasn't, what the hell was she going to say?

"Chandler!" she called out his name.

He turned to her, and seeing him backlit by the light of the sun almost made her lose her breath. Running to him, Monica hugged him, not caring how she was sinking into the embrace and resting herself against his chest.

"Morning," she mumbled with a radiant grin into his pectorals.

"Morning…." Chandler drew out, chuckling, bemused. "You sure are up early."

Smiling, Monica drew back to look him in the face. Her happiness was such that she had to fight the temptation to throw her arms around his neck; she settled for keeping them about his waist. She grinned up at him.

"…. And in a good mood…." Chandler chuckled, peering down at her curiously.

"I had the most wonderful dream last night…." Monica expressed. That was as good a place to start as any.

Chandler smirked. "Did this dream happen to involve a replay of yesterday, in which neither of us was humiliated by jellyfish and, well….." he winced.

Monica shook her head, lips upturned into a warm smile. "Even better…. I….." She glanced down and began to play with the buttons on his cute pajamas. "…. I dreamed that I had a family…." Her fingers stilled over his chest, and she swallowed. "That we were a family…."

Chandler wrinkled his nose in curious amusement. "Aren't we that already? The six of us? You've always felt like family to me, Mon…." He scratched at the back of his neck, mumbling. "You've always felt like…. home…." At least, that's what Monica thought she heard him say.

She shook her head. "I wasn't talking about Rache and the others. They weren't even there."

"In your dream?" Chandler searched her face. He cocked his head and pondered her. "Maybe you should be talking to Pheebs about this…."

Monica shook her head and now gave into the impulse to throw her arms around his neck. "No, I need to talk to you about it! After all, you were a…. a big part of it…."

"So I was in this dream?"

"Mm-hmm," Monica drew back, absently playing with the nape of his neck. Her gaze fixated on his nose and an unhealthy amount of her focus was also on his lips, remembering how he had kissed her, in her dream. "We…. well…. in my dream, we were….."

"What?"

She gulped, voice quiet. "…. We were married…." she whispered. She felt Chandler still against her, and she plowed on before he did something like pull away or laugh at her. "We…. we had children together – twins! A boy and a girl…."

She was heartened by how Chandler wasn't pulling away or laughing at her. He was studying her intently. "Well – you've always wanted to be a mom. But, are you sure you didn't confuse me for Richard?"

Monica felt her stomach roil at the thought of how she could have ever wanted Richard after seeing the doting version of Chandler in her dream. She shook her head. "No. It was you…." She lifted her eyes to his shyly, lashes fluttering. "I think….. it's been you for a while. I just….. didn't realize it."

Now Chandler drew back a little, eyes expanding slightly. "Mon….?"

He was pulling away, getting ready to bolt; she could feel it. His commitment phobia fighting to take control of him, and she blurted out, "Chandler! When….. when you offered to be my boyfriend….." She paused, choosing her words carefully. If she questioned him wrong, she could give him an out to say No. And Monica had a feeling the answer was not No. Chandler just had to be brave enough to be honest. Monica peered into his eyes, searching his face. "You're weren't making a joke…. were you?"

Chandler averted his gaze. "What if I was?"

He was lying through his teeth. She knew him too well. "Look me in the eye and tell me you feel nothing!"

Chandler looked at her, but he couldn't open his mouth. His face was going to war with itself, wrestling with how she had put him on the spot. Smiling reassuringly, Monica dared to press herself closer to him. "Tell me you feel nothing for me, and I'll never mention it again."

Chandler was fighting a battle within himself; it was written all over his face. He was looking for an out, but here, alone on this stretch of beach, he couldn't find one. "Mon, can we talk about this later….?"

"No," she cut him off. "I might already be too late. I need to know, Chandler, because what I saw? We were happy. I was happy, and best of all I was loved. My children loved me. I loved myself…." She studied him, trying to picture him again, as her husband. Her partner. She found that the idea wasn't as mad as she might have thought even a few days ago. "My husband loved me….."

Chandler gaped at her, hardly daring to believe it. Was it possible that she felt…..?

No. After only one dream, she wakes up one morning and decides suddenly that, actually, she would very much like to get together with him and possibly ruin their friendship? Impossible!

So why did it not seem so impossible when he looked into Monica's eyes?

"Yes…." She nodded, looping her arms around his neck again. "It's you, Chandler."

His tongue was refusing to work. "If this is your way of…. getting back at me for pissing on you, or you're…. making fun of me…"

He tried to squirm away, but she held him close. She was much too close now. And she was still beaming at him like she might actually…..

"Chandler? Would you please just kiss me?" She flushed. "Just so that…. I can know what it feels like…."

Chandler gazed at her. Wordlessly, he bent his head near her, in his eyes a question. Monica answered it by bringing her lips to his and meeting him halfway.

They kissed.

And then very quickly embraced, the kiss unexpectedly deepening, captured in the light of the rising sun. Monica moaned, the sound parting her lips and she greedily drew Chandler's tongue into her mouth. Her hands were in his hair, her fingers weaving into the strands, and she shivered as she felt Chandler give in and hold her gently, oh so gently….

Perhaps thanks to the incident with the jellyfish yesterday, he took no liberties with his hands. At least, no liberties beyond what he had already done in taking a whizz on her leg.

The best friends finally broke apart sensuously, after what felt like many minutes, both of them panting. Monica's face broke out into a beam as bright as the dawn. The ache to have his lips back on hers was overpowering. The fireworks she had felt from their kiss left her nerve endings tingling.

"Kiss me again!..." she pleaded, diving back in, chasing his mouth and finally capturing it greedily. She sighed. "Chandler…. Kiss me….. kiss me – Mmmmmm….."

She felt the moment he gave in and dazedly began kissing her back. Monica's head spun, and before long she was kissing his face, his neck, nuzzling her cheek against his as she called him 'precious one,' 'loved one'…

"Bed-bedroom…." She groaned as she felt Chandler's lips smother the pulse point at her neck, making it jump. The heat that was spreading through her felt so good, the way Chandler held her felt so right, she could only babble in near-delirium. "I want to take you to bed, Chandler. I need to make love to you..."

"We won't make it to the bedroom. No time," Chandler grunted, suddenly consumed with the overpowering urge to take her right here and take her right now.

Lips in a pursed grin, Monica nodded eagerly, falling back into the dune and taking him with her. There was sand on her nightdress, in her hair, and yet she could have given a damn, as she spread her legs and Chandler settled between them as though he had always belonged there. With trembling fingers, Monica unbuttoned his sleep shirt, shucking it over his shoulders that she now clasped in her palms, her nails digging into his sweat-slicked skin. She shuddered with pleasure as she felt Chandler bunch the skirts of her nightdress up over her hips.

She helped him shove his pajama bottoms down to his ankles. The fiery flecks of dawn cast a glow on what awaited her underneath, and Monica drew back for a moment with both hands to her mouth. She had only caught a glimpse during the jellyfish incident, glancing away just in the nick of time, but….

God….. was he really so….?

Chandler adorably blushed. "You've always been the thought that's led to these."

Monica ducked her eyes, smiling shyly. "I'm, uh, a bit….. flattered….."

Her voice trailed off as Chandler dipped his face close and then he was smothering her lips with his and she melted into it.

He mounted her and mated with her. She drew him in like she was welcoming him home.

There, hidden by the dunes, the two best friends had sex. Even better - they made love. When Chandler achieved orgasm, his fingers clenched in the sand, getting the particles under his fingernails. He told the beautiful woman in his arms that he loved her.

He was amazed when she actually said it back. Even more astounded that, when he made her cum with a whimper, she was weeping quietly from pleasure and all while whispering his name.

"Chandler…. Chandler….. Oh, God, I love you, Chandler…."

They lay in the dunes, watching the surf, a blanket draped over their naked bodies. Spooning Monica from behind, Chandler watched as his new lover let the sand run through her fingers, contemplative over what they had just done. He hoped against hope that her thoughts didn't include any of regret.

Chandler pressed a kiss to her shoulder. "Monica? We…. we should probably be heading back…. They'll be wondering where we are…."

She drew him closer, letting her head rest on his forearm like it was her pillow. "Let's just stay like this. Just for a minute." So they did, reveling in the post-coital afterglow.

Both Chandler and Monica finally redressed quietly, somehow brave enough to face each other. Had there been any regret for what they had done, they otherwise might have averted their eyes.

Right now, no sight was more glorious, not even the rising sun, than the one Chandler saw in his eyes just then: Monica's smile. It was a smile he hoped he would get to look upon for the rest of his life.

Chandler and Monica walked into the beach house hand in hand, which for their friends was a sight that wasn't all together unusual – Chandler and Monica had always been physically close in their affection.

But they had never kissed each other the way they did now, sharing a smooch good morning that left Ross and the others gobsmacked.

Joey was the first to let his eyes dance with delight. "We figured you were taking a walk on the beach, but we didn't know you were doing…..!"

Smiling bashfully, Monica curled into Chandler as her new boyfriend gave her a one-armed squeeze.