15

Four hours and twenty minutes later, thanks to having to stop and fill up with gas before they left Baker Lake, Jasper parked in the visitor's lot outside University of Washington Medical Center in Seattle. Jasper had kept his hand on her thigh while Edward and Garrett tried distracting her by talking about their undergrad days. It didn't help, though. All she could think about was how her mother had needed her and she wasn't there.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she climbed out and walked to the back of the car, looking at the tall building. They'd brought Charlie and Renee here that night, too. The night of the accident, the night her father died. She'd been the one who had to identify his body. Officially. Jasper held her hand that morning, too.

"Come on, Cricket."

Bella inhaled a sharp breath before she turned and looked at him. "Yeah, yeah, okay."

Jasper threaded his fingers in with hers before they, with Edward and Garrett following, started the walk across the parking lot and into the building. Heidi had already texted Bella which room her mother was in, so the four of them found the elevator and rode it up to the fifth floor. It was late, visiting hours were over, but Bella didn't care. Not when her mother needed her.

Dr. Riley Biers was standing in the hallway with Heidi and Demetri, all three of them looking in their direction when they stepped off the elevator. Heidi shared a look with Demetri before she hurried down the hallway, throwing her arms around Bella. The dark-haired woman wasn't normally a hugger, which was why the move took Bella by surprise.

"Is she . . . Heidi, is she dead?"

"What? No, of course not." Heidi leaned backward, her eyes shifting to Jasper for a split second before she turned back to Bella. "No, she's not dead. She regained consciousness about an hour ago, and, um, Bella, she's . . . she's been asking for your dad."

"She has?"

Heidi nodded.

"She doesn't know he's gone?"

"It would seem she thinks it's the night of your college graduation again."

"Oh, I see," she whimpered, and Jasper brought their hands up to his lips, placing a kiss on her knuckles. "Is it permanent?"

"Dr. Biers wants to run some tests. We just . . . Bella, honey, we won't know for sure for a while, if ever. You know how traumatic brain injuries are. We do know that she has a small brain bleed from when she hit her head, so they are monitoring her closely."

Bella nodded and exhaled a deep breath before they walked down the hallway, stopping when they reached Dr. Biers and Demetri. Dr. Biers was an older man, almost to the retirement age. He had silver hair and the kindest blue eyes and wrinkles that bit into the corners of his eyes when he smiled. He'd been a Godsend to Bella, always making sure she had food to eat, coffee, a bed. For weeks she didn't leave the hospital, and he had always been there to hold her and Jasper together. Until the night Bella told Jasper to leave, and when Jasper did leave, Dr. Biers called her an idiot, told her she should run after him, but she hadn't.

"Bella, dear, she's okay." Dr. Biers placed his hands on her shoulders, stopping her from being the first to speak. "I've ordered a MRI, CatScan, and an EEG, just to be cautious, but for right now, she's okay. Just a little confused, and understandably scared."

Bella nodded and looked toward the door to her mother's room. "And she'll know who I am? She'll remember me?"

"She will remember who you were three years ago."

Bella reached up and grabbed the front of her T-shirt, before looking at Jasper. "Maybe you should wait out here."

"No, no, I shouldn't."

"Jay."

"Cricket, no," he said, firmly. "I'm here — we are here," he added, gesturing to Edward and Garrett, both of whom were giving her a look that clearly said not to argue with him. "I'm going in with you."

"I like him," Heidi said with a smirk as she folded her arms in front of her. "You heard the man, Cricket."

"Only he gets to call me that," Bella quipped at the same time Jasper said, "Only I get to call her that."

Heidi, Edward, and Garrett laughed while Demetri smiled and Dr. Biers snorted.

"Sorry," Jasper said, though he didn't sound very sorry. "But she's my Cricket, and nobody else's."

"Don't be. It's about time you fought for her." Heidi gave Bella a look before she added, "Demetri and I are going to get some coffee. We will bring you some back. Don't argue with me, Bella. I'm going to win, don't try me."

Bella rolled her eyes, but waited until the two of them were halfway down the hallway before she turned toward the door. Jasper reached around her and turned the handle, opening the door open for her. Bella's heart was racing as she and Jasper stepped into the room. The room was dark with the exception of a dull light over the sink, next to the door, and the glow from the monitors keeping track of her mother's vitals.

Renee was laying on her left side, with her back facing the door, but turned and looked from Jasper to Bella, the most beautiful smile spreading across her face. She sat up, and that's when Bella saw the small bandage on her forehead.

"Poppy, what are you doing here? You said you were going to the lake with everyone. Please tell me you didn't leave for me and Dad." Renee smiled and shifted her eyes to Jasper. "You should have insisted on staying at the lake, Jasper Whitlock. It was a little accident, nothing serious."

"Yes, ma'am, but she insisted," Jasper said, slipping his hand out from hers and wrapping his arm around her waist.

"Poppy." Renee shook her head, wincing and placing her finger over the white bandages before she looked at her again, her head tilting to the side. "You . . . you look different. Did you . . . Wasn't your hair shorter this afternoon?"

Bella nodded, causing her tears to sprinkle down her face as she stepped away from Jasper, who tried to grab the back of her shirt, but she pushed his hand away from her. She walked over and sat on the side of Renee's bed, reaching for her mother's hand. Bella couldn't keep her tears from falling as she placed Renee's palm against her cheek, and her shoulders shook as she sobbed quietly.

"Mom. Momma," Bella cried.

"Poppy. Poppy, you're scaring me."

"Momma, it wasn't . . . it wasn't a little accident."

"What . . . what do you mean?"

Bella tried to stop crying as she scooted closer to her mother, keeping her hand pressed against her cheek. "Momma, the accident . . . the accident happened over three years ago."

"No, no it happened earlier tonight. Dad and I were on the way home from your graduation. We were on the way home and . . . a semi crossed the median, he came at us, and Dad swerved and . . . and . . . Well, I can't remember, but where is he? Where's Dad, Poppy?"

Bella turned and pressed her lips against her mother's palm as her tears continued to fall. "Dad . . . Dad didn't make it, Mom. He . . . he died."

"No, no, no, no," Renee whimpered before she started sobbing. "I want Charlie. Where's Charlie?"

"Momma, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I want Charlie," Renee cried, falling back onto the bed, pulling Bella with her.

She curled up behind her mother, holding her while her heart broke all over again.

—WL—

Bella held Renee until she had fallen asleep, and then she unwrapped herself from around her mother, and climbed out of the bed. Jasper had settled in the chair next to the door, his eyes locked on hers. She walked over and reached for his hand, which he gave and the two slipped out of the room. Edward and Garrett were seated on the floor across the hallway from where Heidi and Demetri were seated.

"She's asleep," Bella told them once the door was closed behind them. "I told her about the accident, about Dad."

Heidi nodded and stood up. "Dr. Biers put a rush on her tests, but it could still be a while until they come for her. Maybe, you should get some sleep, sweetie."

Bella shook her head. "I can't sleep right now. I just . . ."

She trailed off as the sound of the elevator opening drew everyone's attention, and when they looked over, Bella saw Alice, Ben, Carlisle, Esme, Kate, Angela, Emmett, and Rosalie hurrying out. While she was appreciative of their support, her head hurt and her heart was breaking enough, so when she felt Jasper pulling on her hand, she let him lead her down the hallway away from everyone, especially when she started hearing them pressing Edward and Garrett for answers to questions nobody knew anything about.

Jasper led her down the hallway, around the corner to a small lounge that she was sure they weren't allowed to be in. While she sat on the black leather sofa, Jasper filled two Styrofoam cups with coffee before he walked over and sat next to her, gently placing one of them in her hand.

"I'd forgotten how tenacious she was."

Bella smiled through her tears. "I broke her heart, Jay. I sat there on the side of her bed and broke her heart."

"She had to know, Cricket. Sooner or later, someone was going to have to tell her about Charlie. Better it come from you, than someone else, right?"

"I guess."

"I'm worried about you."

She shifted her eyes up to his.

"I can feel you pulling away from me again. I can feel it, Cricket."

"I'm . . ." Bella shook her head. "I don't know what you want me to say, Jay. I should have been there. I could have talked her down. Could have defused the situation before she fell."

"Like you did when she cut your arm?" he asked, pulling her sleeve upward and running his fingers over the thin scar on her arm.

She pulled her arm away from him. "That was an accident."

"An accident?" Jasper leaned forward and shook his head. "And what happens when she chases you with another knife, Cricket? Hmm? She could have killed you that night. She could have killed Heidi tonight. She needs more help than either of you can give her. Don't you see that?"

"She's my mom, Jay. She's my mother, and I can't. . ." Bella stood up and placed her coffee on one of the empty tables. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Maybe I can't take care of her on my own anymore, but you make it seem like putting her in Bayview or The Traymore, or any of those places is easy. Like it's the easiest thing in the whole fucking world. It's not, Jay. She's my mother, my fucking mother and I can't . . . I can't turn my back on her just because it's hard. So, yeah, I know what I have to do, but what I don't need is you reminding me just how stupid I am for giving everything up for her."

"I never said you were stupid."

"You don't have to, Jay. It's all everyone has been saying to me for the last two days. How selfish I was for pushing you away, for pushing them away, for not letting you help me with her. I gave up everything for my mom, because she needed me, and all you've done is make me feel guilty for . . . for putting her first. And where was I when she needed me? I was with you, Jay. I was fucking you instead of being there to keep my mom safe," she cried, and when Jasper stood up and reached for her, she shook her head and said, "Don't come near me. Don't, Jay. You don't get to make me feel guilty for taking care of my mom!"

"I'm not, Cricket. I'm not. I just . . ." Jasper put his hands up in front of her. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

But Bella shook her head and took a step backward, putting her own hands in front of her. "Sorry doesn't help. Go home, Jay. Just . . . just go home."

And though he chased after her, Bella turned and ran out of the room, down the hallway, through her group of friends, and into her mother's room, closing the door as gently as she could. And sliding to the floor, she wrapped her arms around her knees and let her tears fall, ignoring the way Jasper called to her through the door. She should never have left Bainbridge Island.

Thank you for all the AMAZING reviews! And, yes, I know Bella is being an idiot, but something tells me, they (especially Jay) aren't going to let her go that easily.