37) But The Angels Won't Receive Me

"Hey, Mal, you got a minute or five," Carolyn caught the Captain as he was coming off the bridge.

"Got more'n a few minutes to spare Caro," He smiled at her. He'd likely be tired, having been up half the night on the bridge but he was still willing to take the time and she could be grateful for that.

"We've got…" Carolyn rubbed her eyes. "Well, we've got something of a situation. Figured I ought to tell you about it before…"

"Before something blew up in my face because I was caught unawares," He finished with a wry quirk of his lips. Clearly Mal had a thorough and unique understanding of how bad things could get when something went a little wrong.

"Yeah," She looked towards the galley. "But it isn't something I'd want anyone else to hear if they don't know about it already."

"Well, my bunk's right there, and I do believe I mentioned you being welcome at any time you needed to talk," Mal gestured towards his hatch as he toed it open.

"Thanks," Carolyn gave him the most grateful smile she could. Awkward couldn't begin to cover the subject matter, she thought as she followed him down the ladder and waited until he shut it.

"Have a seat," The Captain indicated the only chair in the room and sat on the footlocker at the end of the bed.

"Thanks." The chair was pushed half under a small desk next to the footlocker. The bed took up the rest of the wall while a wall locker and shelves filled the opposite side of the room. Neat and spartan, but the books crammed into the shelves gave the room some color and personality. "I—" She started and stopped and tried to think of how to say this.

"Hey," Those blue eyes were so kind. "Whatever it is, we'll deal with it. Let's just get it out in the open all right?"

"Right," Carolyn took a breath and let it out slowly. "Don't know if you've noticed or not. But Rick is..."

"He's been flirting with River somethin' fierce," Mal interjected. "Long's River don't have a problem with it neither do I."

"Good to know," She nodded. "But apparently Jack doesn't see much of a difference between River and herself."

"I take it she ain't pleased by this development," The Captain rubbed the back of his neck. "Dà xiàng bào zhà shì de lā dù zi." The curse came out more tired than annoyed and Carolyn half smiled.

"Jack…when we first came on board, Rick and I talked," She sighed. "Jack…she's…she masqueraded as a boy on that ship we were on. When we crashed she shaved her head, emulating Rick. And when we thought she was a boy it seemed harmless enough. But she isn't a boy."

"Ain't normal for a girl to imitate a big bad man like that," Mal shrugged when her eyebrows went up. "If the fake names didn't give it away Rick calling knives 'shivs' would have. Figure he's wanted somewhere. Or was at one point. Don't matter to me so long as it doesn't bring trouble to our door. We've got enough of that."

"Can't guarantee it won't come, but we aren't planning to shout his whereabouts to all and sundry," Carolyn shook her head. "But when we first came on board, I thought Rick had gotten through to her that he was no sort of example to follow. Nearly in those words too." She sighed, "I told Rick, that I wasn't sure whether Jack wanted to be him or screw him." He winced at that but nodded in agreement.

"Either way, she'd be some kind of safe," Mal propped an elbow on the desk and leaned on it for a moment while he though. "She told me a little of her history. Kid like that…she's got rage all the way through. Mad at the world, trying to figure out where she stands in it. Her daddy raised her mostly until she was eight." He shook his head, "Bad time in a life for upheaval. But worse for her than most."

"Well, if she was raised by a man, maybe that's why she still doesn't really come to me for help much," Carolyn nodded her understanding. "And why she gravitated to Rick. He's got to be one of the strongest men she's ever met, physically and in personality."

"Noticed you and he are all sortsa protective of her, an' that ain't a bad thing by my reckoning," The Captain straightened up a bit. "But she's at the age when it seems like adults don't know what they're talking about or have no idea what she's going through."

"Ah yes, the delights of hormones," She sighed. "Well, let's just say she decided to make a move."

"Do I want to know what kind of move?" Mal eyed her warily and Carolyn sighed.

"First I want to be clear that Rick has done nothing to encourage her to think of him this way," She reminded the Captain who nodded somewhat patiently. "And also, that Jack is very lucky she didn't get killed. Rick's reactions to being woken up by anything other than a tap on his foot or a call across the room have historically been fairly… hostile."

"Yeah, he said," Mal nodded. "Mentioned folks were likely to get a shiv in the neck or hurled across the room."

"Exactly," Carolyn half smiled. "Apparently if you're in bed with him its completely safe. He registers that you're there somehow." Mal looked a bit relieved at that and she imagined he'd worried about the implications should Riddick and River get to that point.

"All right," Still with a wary tone but her Captain nodded. "With you so far."

"I woke up around midnight…a few days before Rick asked to switch bunks," Carolyn recalled. Nothing like being startled out of sleep by the roar of an angry killer. "Rick was supremely pissed off, haven't heard him like that in months, nearly yelling 'What'n the unholy fuck do you think you're doing'."

Mal groaned and leaned forward, elbows on his knees and his head in his hands, "Nǐ tā mā de tiān xià suǒ yǒu de rén dōu gāi sǐ." Carolyn really didn't blame him for cursing. "What had she done?"

"Well…"

Carolyn wasn't exactly sure how to phrase it and Mal looked up, "Ain't gonna be anything pretty or polite about it, Carolyn. I know that much. Just spill it."

"To use his words... Rick wanted to know why he'd woken up with Jack's mouth around his dick," She sighed. "Simon and River had woken up too, though Simon went back to bed. Man knows when he's not needed. River just…took in the scene and remarked that it was fortuitous timing before she went to get ready for her shift."

"I take it you and Rick gave Jack a talking to about it," The Captain surmised.

"Oh yeah," Carolyn nodded. "Pointed out how she was wrong to do that without his consent. How she was thinking more of what she wanted than of him. How no one had any right to touch anyone else without permission."

"Did she get it?"

"Not at first," The Pilot shook her head. "Not until Rick had again reiterated that she had no right. Pointed out that he'd been around long enough that he knew how it felt to have someone just decide they could do what they wanted with his body and to hell with his say so. He also made the point that he'd proved they couldn't by spilling blood." She sighed, "I honestly think part of why he was so upset was that he trusted her to respect him, and she clearly didn't. And I think also, he knew just how close she came to getting killed by doing that."

"She say anything about what brought this on?" Mal frowned thoughtfully, "Doubt she just came up with it out of the blue."

"Oh yeah," Carolyn groaned. "Apparently Jack noticed Rick flirting more with River. And thinks he has a use for every female on the boat but her."

Mal nodded, still considering the whole mess and Carolyn leaned back in the chair and deliberately tried to relax her spine. A roll of her neck and a loud click announced her partial success and she sighed as Mal glanced at her in concern. "I'm right in my thinking that you and Rick haven't ever had kids, either of you?"

"Not together or separately that I know of," Carolyn accepted the seeming change in topic curiously.

"And neither of you had the most…comfortable upbringing, from what you've told me and what I guess about Rick," He continued. "Not easy trying to parent a child. Even with a stable home life." He glanced at her, "That you took Jack on at all says a lot about you and Rick."

"There was another person who survived the crash, the Imam we told you about, but she didn't want to go with him," Carolyn admitted. "She wanted to stay with us. And we really couldn't tell her no." She rubbed the back of her neck, "Rick said as stubborn as the girl was she'd likely try to follow us or strike out on her own if we left her with the Imam. We figured that keeping her with us would be the lesser of the two evils. At least she wouldn't be on her own. Buddha knows what would have happened to her."

"Say what you want about Rick, bad man or not, the man can figure someone's character like nobody's business," Mal agreed. "Ain't sayin' you did wrong. Did as right as you could I think."

"I'm not ashamed to admit I'm in over my head. And Rick has no idea what to do except keep her firmly in the child/kid/little sister zone." Carolyn spread her hands helplessly, "She's a good kid."

"Captain's as close to a father as anyone gets on a boat," He nodded. "Already had that little chat with her. Made sure she knew about the regs and rules for ships and responsibilities. If Rick's gonna take the big brother route, I'll do my best to come across all fatherly. Complete with threatenin' to spank her if she does anything like that again."

"She'd for certain take that from you better than she would Rick or I," Carolyn murmured as she considered the notion. "She respects us but at the same time…"

"You three tend to treat each other as pretty equal all things considered," Mal reminded her. "Ain't a bad thing."

"No…" Carolyn considered the events and recalled River's comment again. "I wonder though if the timing of this was more deliberate than we first thought."

"How do you mean?" The Captain actually looked interested in her speculations, intent almost and Carolyn could feel her skin heating over her cheekbones under such scrutiny.

"I…just… River was due to start her shift on the bridge pretty soon when Riddick woke up," The Pilot explained a bit flustered. "I just wonder if Jack picked that time to go in and try to seduce Rick on purpose. The walls are pretty thin, and if he'd been interested at all River would have heard them."

"Now that is somethin' to think on," Mal nodded. "But we can't do much about it at the moment." His mouth curved in a slow smile, "You do have a pretty blush Carolyn." Those warm blue eyes echoed his smile as he lifted a hand to her face, cupping her jaw and rubbing his thumb over her cheekbone. "I'll admit I'd hoped for a moment or two that you had another reason for wanting to speak in private."

Carolyn half smiled. She'd be lying to herself if she didn't admit the temptation Mal presented. "It crossed my mind…" She murmured. "But I had this idea that you were in love with someone else or very close to it."

He sighed and his hand fell to her knee, wrapping his fingers around hers gently, "You wouldn't have been completely wrong there. The close to it part I mean." He admitted. "Not that anything ever really happened. Companions don't take lovers."

"I wondered about that," Carolyn watched his hand wrapped around hers and looked up into his eyes. "You don't think she'll come back? Ask the Guild to release her and come back to Serenity?"

He shook his head, "When she went to the Training House the first time, she left a trunk behind. An excuse I think, to come back or wave us if she needed a reason."

"This time the shuttle is completely empty," Carolyn realized. "Except for the bed she sold to us."

"So, she ain't comin' back," Mal nodded. "It's just how things are."

"You miss her," She might not have Riddick's ability to evaluate someone's character in a moment or two, but she could see that much.

"More…I miss how things were…or how I thought they could be," He confessed quietly. "She wasn't gonna change and neither was I. Best we part ways still somewhat friends. But I didn't know her as well as I'd wanted to. She knew all about us, but she kept herself apart, wouldn't let me know her. Can't really love someone if you don't know them can you?"

Carolyn nodded. She hadn't really thought of it like that. "I'm glad the two of you can stay friends at least."

"Made certain she knew that we'd welcome waves and letters from her. And she made a point of telling us that we had her wave address as well. That she'd be happy to have us visit," Mal nodded. "I think for all that we'll miss her, with a little time, we'll be all right."

"Well, when you're feeling more…footloose and fancy free…" Carolyn leaned forward and brushed a kiss over his slightly rough cheek. He needed a shave, funny she found that endearing rather than annoying. "Then ask me for a private conversation."

"Now that…I will do," Mal smiled as she stood and headed for the ladder. "I will indeed."

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Author's Note: So…Mal's been filled in. What do we think will happen next?

Chinese Translations:

Dà xiàng bào zhà shì de lā dù zi (To have the explosive-type diarrhea of an elephant)

Nǐ tā mā de tiān xià suǒ yǒu de rén dōu gāi sǐ. (Fuck everyone in the universe to death.)