By Your Side

by phantomstimeturner

SEQUEL TO TAKING SIDES! Katniss thought it was over, but some choices have a way of coming back to haunt you.

23. Storm's End

Okay so there WAS one more long chapter in this. My bad. Final one is super short though.

I just realized that I have paid 0 attention to how my Microsoft Word formatting converts to ff, so I hope you can tell where the page breaks are. Otherwise you can usually figure it out with context. Not that I make much sense anyway.

In the eleven years I knew my father, I can only think of one time I heard him swear.

We were out in the wilderness, beyond District Twelve's fence. I might have been young, but I was a natural with a bow and arrow, and my father was determined to teach me everything he knew about the woods. He was an excellent teacher and I an excellent student. I hung on his every word as he told me, in these exact words, don't fuck with bears.

They're huge. They're fast, and they can climb. Teeth as long as my middle finger and deadly claws to boot. Don't fuck with bears. Avoid bears at all cost.

In a tiny chamber with a raging storm outside, I don't think we have much of a choice. Turquoise's scream sends a jolt through me, and the rest of them snap awake. I'm dimly aware of the enormous bear roaring from the far end of the cave, displeased at its territory being invaded.

My first priority is to find my weapon, even though it's too cramped for my bow to be much use. I know from the start that this fight belongs to the Careers, to Thunder's spiked mace and the javelin Storm's been dying to show off since she first got ahold of it. I can't not have my bow at the ready, though- if the great white bear comes at me, I need to have some kind of hell I can give it.

Everything is more terrifying in the half light of our one small lamp, which Thunder knocks over as he leaps into action. Long shadows, darkness creeping in through the corners. I draw my bow back and shoot, but my arrow is more of annoyance than of injury to the massive bear. It swipes my arrow away with one enormous paw, damaging the arrow beyond repair and proving that I am wasting my time.

…or maybe not. 'Distraction' is a valid role, isn't it? While Storm and Nolan let out twin war cries and throw themselves at the bear, brave to the point of stupid, I flit around the room and pepper it with well-placed arrows. H and I work together- she is armed only with throwing knives, which don't do much at close range either- with the lofty goal of blinding the bear.

It frustrates me greatly, that I can hit a squirrel in the eye every time I shoot at one, but I can't hit this stupid bear. I guess the bear is moving around more than squirrels usually do. Having seven people trying to kill you will do that.

That said, the bear is more than a match for our pack. It probably weighs more than all of us combined, and with every move it makes, I become more convinced this is some hellish Capitol creation and not just a bear thrown into an arena. It's too fast, too strong, too big. And it definitely wants us out of its cave.

I do consider fleeing an option, but I know it's not a good one. The bear is angry enough to give chase, and the roaring wind hasn't died down at all yet, so I assume if we run we'll just die anyway. It's better to stand and fight, in a small area where we have the beast surrounded.

I do start to worry, though, when I get down to three arrows in my quiver. That won't last me very long at all, and though my job as a distraction is minor, I feel we need all the help we can get. The five Careers on the front line- Turquoise, Thunder, Storm, Nolan, and Peeta, who I am terrified for- are at times inches away those fearsome claws, and I can't bear to think of what would happen if they were struck. Storm especially seems to enjoy evading danger by the smallest possible margin, darting in and out of the bear's reach to make a quick swipe with her javelin.

Slowly but surely, we're winning the fight. Storm pierces the bear's belly; Thunder crushes one paw. Nolan and Peeta are fighting valiantly as well, but it's Turquoise who makes the final blow. She seems to draw her power out of nowhere, letting out a shrill screech and launching herself into the air, Lightning in hand. She manages to avoid the striking paws and gnawing mouth; her aim is true. Lightning digs into the bear's chest, spurting blood onto its formerly bright-white coat, and the resulting howl of rage has the cavern walls shaking. If piercing a vital organ wasn't enough, the spear produces a loud sizzling, the jolt of electricity Turquoise has been so passionate about.

The bear sinks to the ground, with Turquoise deftly maneuvering around its enormous bulk. I'm not sure if it's electric shock or a death throe that has the great beast flopping and twitching so, but I instinctively take a step back, bow still drawn and arrow nocked. It's my last arrow. I hope to high heaven I don't have to use it.

There's no cannon signaling the end of the bear's life, but Turquoise seems to know exactly when to pull away. With great effort, she pulls her prized spear out of the bear's chest, and the smell of burning hair and flesh reaches my nose. Lightning continues to crackle; I swear I can see sparks jumping off the spearhead. She has definitely done something to jack that thing up.

For a moment, we're all staring, marveling at the luck and insanity of what's just happened.

It's H who breaks the silence. "Can we use that thing to cook?"

Turquoise considers this, tossing her spear from hand to hand. "Mm…no. I don't like cooking, and nobody touches Lightning except for me."

"What?" I protest for several reasons. "Turquoise, you love cooking. You spent how much time roasting stuff over that geyser before we moved?"

She shrugs. "Well, I guess this is different. I don't feel like it."

Even though she just saved our lives, I consider strangling her right here and now.

Thunder clears his throat. "You know, if you want your food cooked, we can always start a fi-"

Peeta and I turn on him in unison. "NO FIRE!"

"Seriously, do you want to explode?" Peeta continues. "Starting a fire in a cave is how you explode."

"Thank you, Peeta," I add.

Turquoise nods as if all of this makes sense to her. "Ah, a lover's spat."

"What? No, we agree right now, Turquoise." There's probably not any point in trying to explain things to her. "The problem is-"

"Do not call me a problem," Thunder snaps icily.

"Who cares about a fucking fire?" Storm pushes past Nolan to get right in my face. "Not a den, my ass. Were you trying to get us all killed?"

"I had every reason to think it was safe," I insist. "If I had known it was a bear's den, obviously I would never have suggested we shelter here."

"BULLSHIT!" she yells. Apparently we are no longer concerned about being quiet anymore, and I notice worryingly that she is still clutching her javelin like she is about to use it. "It was a trap. Just call it what it was!"

"It was not a trap!" I argue. "Do you really think I'd put my life in danger if I was trying to trap you? What kind of stupid plan is that?"

"Well, I didn't see you getting up close and personal with the bear! You must have known what was going to happen!"

"Obviously I did not!"

"Storm, you're being ridiculous." That's a sentence that could easily lead to one's death, but H seems to be completely unafraid. "There weren't any tracks outside, and there's no fur or droppings in this chamber- why would we assume it's a den?"

"We've been tricked!" Storm insists, but at least she turns some of her rage to H and not just me.

"Yes, we have," Nolan agrees. I flinch, knowing if Nolan turns against me I am more or less screwed. "But it was the Gamemakers tricking all of us. And we won, so let's just get on with it."

Storm sneers at him. "Of course you would side with her."

I don't know if she's talking about H or me.

"I side with logic, Storm. That's always been my thing."

Peeta is beside me suddenly, lurking over my shoulder protectively. He brings me more comfort than I'd care to admit. "It probably would have happened anyway, you know. There's a good chance we would have died out in that storm."

"Even if we'd known it was a bear's den, we might have decided it was worth the risk," H finishes.

Storm knows she's been beat. She gives us all one more glare before stalking away. I let her go without gloating; I know silence is our best chance of avoiding another fight right now.

"I didn't notice that scratch before," H observes, pointing to the fresh jagged line on Nolan's face. "Let's get you fixed up, c'mon. Peeta? Katniss? Are you guys alright?"

"I'm fine," I promise, and Peeta echoes my statement. H opens the first aid kit and starts dabbing antiseptic on Nolan's face. I have different things to worry about.

I've never butchered something as big as this bear before, but I assume the concept is the same. I take my hunting knife and begin to skin it, while Turquoise and Peeta watch with great fascination. Without me asking, Peeta starts plucking the arrows out of its skin and returning them to my quiver. It's not romantic, per se, but definitely thoughtful. More proof that Peeta is the kindest person to ever walk the earth. I guess I knew that already.

"Can I help slice it up?" Turquoise asks enthusiastically.

I try to think of a polite way to say "no". "The fact that you want to so badly is weird, Turquoise. It's not a fun job."

"No, it looks fun." She's already rolling up her sleeves. "You'll be glad you let me help. I'll peel the skin!"

Yeah, I don't really know if that's true, but the words of protest die on my tongue. "I didn't know you had a tattoo," I comment without really thinking about it.

"Oh, um." Turquoise is already pulling her sleeve back down, but not before I get a good look at the ink. A crudely-drawn crow with a bandaged wing. The childish art style seems perfect for Turquoise, and she talks about birds more than any other person I know, so I can't imagine a more fitting tattoo. "I'm not supposed to show it on TV. Whoops."

"Your parents don't know you have it?" I guess, continuing to work my knife through the bear's thick skin and fur. I don't know how I'm going to gut this thing.

"Well, my parents are dead, so I guess they don't know," she says in a completely conversational tone. "Tattoos are illegal in District One. In all of the districts, I think. I had to have it covered for my interview."

I find this amusing. "Turquoise, the criminal."

"Yeah, now my secret's out. I guess I ought to keep it covered." She tugs her sleeve down a second time, making sure the ink is completely hidden. "Maybe no one's watching. Hey, do you think we can make this into a rug?"

Just like that, our moderately-normal conversation is over. The sort-of-coherent Turquoise I have caught just a few glimpses of is gone. Back to the games and out-of-pocket questions, the girl who appreciates shock value above all else. I find it annoying…but really not all that surprising.

Carving up the bear is a slow and somewhat tedious process. I can't be sure it's worth the trouble- I've never considered eating a bear, only avoiding them- but it would certainly be wrong to waste all this meat. We suddenly have access to hundreds of pounds of food, something I'm sure no other tributes can claim, and whether it will taste good or not is really not something I'm concerned with.

Turquoise takes the skin as soon as I remove it from the carcass and runs off to "cure it". Whatever that means. I'm glad to have her out of my way- it'll be easier to clean the beast without her hovering over my shoulder. Peeta continues to hover, but his presence doesn't bother me. We talk, but not much. I'm concentrating and he's worrying, the kind of worry that shuts him down and keeps him quiet. I don't see him worry like that very often- Peeta Mellark has always been as steady as the sun.

There's some good news, though. As the pile of bear steaks besides me grows, the noise of the wind wanes. Finally, the terrible storm is dying down- and good, because if I have to spend another hour underground I'll probably kill myself. I need to see the sky, and if nothing else, I need clean snow to wipe my hands on because I am covered in bear blood. I sure could use another pair of spare pants right now, but this time, there are no parachutes bearing breakfast and treats.

We don't go hungry, though. H's theory about using Lightning to cook seems to have some merit; there's an area near the bear's wound site that is perfectly cooked, and there's more than enough for all of us to eat. My theory proves correct as well: the bear meat is not very good. But given the circumstances, nobody complains about it.

By the time we've all eaten our fill, the silence is almost deafening. The wind, finally, has quit; the blizzard is over. I'm not the only one who's restless- Storm and Turquoise are both raring to go as well. "We need to go check on our old camp!" Turquoise insists. "I left something really important there- we need to go, now!"

Thunder rolls his eyes. He's reaching his limit with her; I can tell. "And what might that be? Do not say James, or-"

"No, of course not!" She digs around in her shirt and produces the infamous lizard, which is definitely still dead. "Are you crazy? James never leaves my side. Never, ever!"

"Yeah, because he's dead," Storm retorts. She smiles in a somewhat unnerving way- very typical of her.

"He's hibernating!"

H clears her throat. "Alright, alright. Are we going or not?"

We're going. We're definitely going. It doesn't take us long to pack up camp, since we have so little anyway. This time, we actually have the option of organizing it, a responsibility Peeta takes extremely seriously. That man has the oddest talents. Everything is easily pack-up-able, with the exception of the many pounds of bear meat. Eventually, we elect to leave that in the cave, aside from a couple steaks that Nolan wraps up in a piece of tarp.

"Are we ready to go?" asks H, as if she is a junior high teacher and we are going on a field trip. She'd be good at that, probably. One last look around the cavern, and we're off, leaving just bones and bear and an empty sardine can behind.

Good riddance, I think. And I don't look back.

My first moment aboveground is blinding. After spending so many hours belowground, with either dim light or no light, my eyes struggle to adjust to the blinding sun reflecting off the snow. I shade my eyes with one gloved hand, attempting to get a handle on the changed terrain. The powdery snow we all got used to is gone, replaced with tall, crusted drifts that sparkle in the sunlight. Most of them are around knee-high, with some that rise above my waist. They're comparatively easy to walk on, though- there's no more wading through the stuff, and the tracks we leave won't be nearly as obvious as our path in the powder.

Looking up, though, it's like the storm never happened. The sky is a brilliant blue, clear as a beautiful summer day, but there's nothing natural about it. I know that now.

Turquoise leads the way, bounding over the snowdrifts like a startled deer. I don't know where she gets all her energy from- she must do drugs or something in her spare time. The rest of us keep up without any of her enthusiasm, which is fine because this really isn't a situation that calls for any enthusiasm. It seems kind of inappropriate, actually- but when isn't Turquoise inappropriate?

I stick close to Peeta. He's still quiet, quieter than usual, but he sheathes his sword in order to take my hand. Maybe not the smartest move, but a necessary one. No matter what happens, I cannot forget we're telling a love story. My life outside the arena- should I get to experience that ever again- depends on it.

If not for the enormous geyser, I wouldn't have known we're back at our original campsite. Every sign we might have left is gone, tracks snowed over, our remaining supplies blown away. No sign of my spare pants or our missing sleeping bag.

"Well, this is disappointing," I declare.

No one else really seems disappointed. "I wanted to move anyway," says Peeta.

For once, Storm agrees with something someone else has said. "Yeah, it's about time we got out of here. We've wasted too much time already. Let's find somebody to kill."

No one bats an eye at her bluntness- we're all used to it by now. Turquoise, however, leaps into action. "ONWARD!" she shouts, taking off into the woods with Lightning raised over her head. The spear crackles and sparks again, reminding me not to get anywhere near her. Not that I really need that reminder. I know she's crazy.

A couple glances cast between us, we decide to follow her. With no real camp and no idea where we're going, there doesn't seem to be any downside to just going wherever. This entire arena looks the same, anyway, trees and geysers as far as the eye can see. Which isn't very far, I guess. Because of all the trees.

"THE SUN WILLLL-"

She's singing again. This time, we all ignore her.

"COME OUUUUUUT TOMORROW!"

Storm groans. Sleep-deprived and hungry, I'm sure she's even more liable to snap than usual. "What is her problem? Doesn't she know it's sunny out right now?"

"BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR THAT TOMORROWWWWW THERE'LL BE SUNNNNN!"

"You could try telling her that, Storm," I suggest.

She shoots me a dirty look, but whatever put-down she has in store for me is drowned out by a horrific crescendo from Turquoise. The rest of us cover our ears and suffer.

Fortunately, Turquoise concludes the song of her people and goes quiet. She has this sixth sense- as annoying as she might be, she seems to know exactly when she needs to pay attention. When she gets serious, I pay attention too. I'm the only who doesn't pull my hood over my head. Even though it's bitterly cold, I sense that I can do nothing to impair my senses, as nice as the fur trim might feel on my freezing ears.

My faith in her instincts wanes the deeper we tramp into the woods. Turquoise just doesn't slow down, acting like she knows where she's going even though I know she's just as clueless as the rest of us. She's doing this for fun; I know that equally well- some part of her is amused by Storm's frequent complaints, and the way Thunder's weight is enough to sink him into some of the weaker drifts.

"I just don't know what's going on in her head," Storm grumbles. The real answer is probably nothing. "We're going the wrong way!"

"Can you really go the wrong way if you don't have a destination?" Turquoise yells back in reply, proving that she can listen and even does so occasionally.

Storm ignores her. "We shouldn't be messing around in the woods. We need to go back to the Cornucopia like I did, and find people that way!"

"I'm sure all the tracks are covered in snow by now," H points out, ever the voice of reason.

"Yeah, this is just as effective as anything else!" Nolan agrees. It surprises me, a little, that the clearly-brutal Career would agree with something as impractical as Turquoise's romping through the outskirts of the arena- but then again, he seems to agree with everything H says. I file that tidbit away for later.

"That's ridiculous!" Storm declares heatedly. "The most qualified person should be in the lead, and that's obviously not her! I'm the only one who's explored beyond camp! I should be leading!"

I agree with her in some ways- I definitely would not be using the word "qualified" in relation to Turquoise, for one- but some of that is plainly not true. "Turq and I were with you the first time you left camp, remember? You're not the only one."

Storm turns on me, her blue eyes flashing with rage. "Don't tell me you're on her side!"

"I don't want to take sides," I tell her, but I doubt she'll take no for an answer for very long.

"You're all stupid!" she declares. I guess it's the worst thing she can think of to call us in this moment. "Maybe you're enjoying this camping trip from hell, but I'm not! Why are you all so set on wasting your time?"

Thunder has his "preparation is not a waste of time" speech ready to go, but even coming from him it doesn't sound very convincing. I'd never admit it out loud, but a part of me is beginning to agree with Storm. The tension in the air is becoming unbearable; it's only a matter of time before one of us (or multiple of us) snaps. Despite being uncomfortable the entire time we've been in the arena, realistically, I am getting far too comfortable.

Nolan, the only one with any hope of calming Storm down, engages her in an argument. I'm happy to fade into the background; let them duke it out. Peeta seems to sense exactly what I'm thinking, and we both fall back, letting the others walk (or prance, if you're Turquoise) ahead of us so we can have a small moment of privacy.

"I think this might be the end," Peeta whispers to me, proving that once again, we are on the same page. "We've diffused this exact situation too many times- it's not going to work for much longer."

I nod in agreement. "You're right. Somebody's going to snap soon. I just don't want to be the first one to shoot."

Being in this bubble, being part of a team, has made it hard. Being part of the Career pack has saved us several times…but you could argue that it'll be the end of us, too. Killing innocent people could never be easy. But how much harder will it be when I know their names? Would I still be capable of plunging an arrow into Nolan, or H, or any of these people I've grown to like?

Something dark inside me answers. Yes. I'd do anything to get back home, to get Peeta home. And there are certainly people who have done worse than me. Maybe that's why it's not wrong to stay, even when the Career pack- for whatever reason- seems to be stalling out at the threat of actual bloodshed. Regardless of infighting, staying with this pack allows us a lot of security- there are still fourteen tributes left, after all.

"I'll follow your lead," Peeta promises, and something about the way he says it makes my heart beat faster. I wonder if he knows he has that effect on me.

I wonder if it's possible to act like you're falling in love without part of it being for real.

Tired of thinking, strategizing, I seek to act thoughtlessly for one moment in time. I tug on the front of his coat and pull his mouth to mine. He stumbles, but he catches himself and then catches me as I threaten to tip over backwards from the force of the kiss. It's the only warmth I have access to in this nightmare of an arena, and it spreads through my whole body in a matter of seconds. For a moment, I can forget where we are and who we're with. I forget everything except his lips on mine and the neediness of his hand scrunched up in my coat. There's bliss in forgetting, whether it be from a kiss or not.

Of course my moment of peace cannot last long. "Lovebirds!" Turquoise trills. "You're falling behind…!"

Yeah…and?

I reluctantly jog a little to catch up. "Maybe we just wanted to be further away from you, Turquoise."

"I really don't think that's it," I barely hear Thunder mutter. He is becoming more jaded with every passing hour.

"Well, you're wasting time," Turquoise declares, hands on her hips. It would be a serious pose to strike if she hadn't tightened her hood down to its smallest possible circumference over her face. "We're almost there!"

"Almost where?" Peeta dares to ask.

"To the place!" she replies triumphantly. She loosens her hood and scampers off, assuming we'll follow.

Except, we don't. Thunder stops in his tracks, and Storm follows suit. "Turquoise, come on," Thunder complains. "We know there's not actually a place. There's no point in running ourselves into the ground. Let's at least take a water break."

"Just take a handful of snow!" she orders, dancing from foot to foot impatiently. "It's clean! See!" To demonstrate, she scrapes some snow off the nearest drift and pours it into her mouth. "Mm! Hydration! Let's go!"

This time, she bolts and doesn't look back. We are left with two choices: go after her, or officially break the Career pack in two.

I don't know if I'm ready for that. I don't know if any of us are ready for that. Who would want to take the first shot? Storm seems to be wavering, but Nolan nudges her, and her hackles seem to lower at his touch. "C'mon. Let's go with her. For all we know, the pack could be just past those trees."

Storm rolls her eyes, but we all take her silence as agreement. Thunder stuffs a handful of snow into his mouth and doesn't mention the idea of a water break anymore.

Turquoise seems to be moving at a full sprint, but she zigzags between trees whenever something sparks her attention, allowing us to catch up. There's something odd about the way she's moving. At first glance, she seems to be darting in and out at random, but her diversions seem almost too perfect. Almost planned. Like she knows where she's going.

The idea of it is ridiculous, of course. We've all been in such close quarters. There's no way Turquoise could have snuck off and explored the arena without us- even if she'd ventured out during her watch shift, Thunder would have known about it, and I would have noticed strange tracks in camp the morning after. No, this must be her oddness at play again, something that motivates her beyond her comprehension.

"This is stupid!" Storm declares. She's really just saying what all of us are thinking, but her stream of complaints has become constant, and it's getting annoying. "We're getting farther and farther away from the Cornucopia- the one thing that could help us find prey."

(It's a little unnerving that she refers to human beings as "prey", but there are so many unnerving things about Storm I kind of let it slide.)

"…does anyone else feel like we're wasting our time?" she finishes.

H yawns. "I mean, maybe. But I don't really want to unpack that because it could lead to a conversation on the inevitability of death, which I don't want to discuss. Do you ever feel like you're hurtling towards a problematic goal due to an inherent lack of self-worth?"

Storm scowls at her. If she does decide the pack is no longer worth her time, I have a good idea who her first target will be. "I wasn't talking to you, birdbrain."

"Did somebody say birds?" Turquoise crows. She pauses. "Oh! My place!"

She shifts gears and takes off at a sprint. And I thought she'd been sprinting before! The girl is fast. I myself don't plan on running- makes too much noise, wastes too much energy- but when I see Nolan and H burst into a run, I find myself picking up speed. No one wants to be left behind, not when the weather could turn again at any moment.

By the time we catch up, Turquoise is already in the tree. It's not just any tree, though- it's a maple tree in a forest of pines, and also, it has taken root in a boulder the size of my house in District Twelve. I don't know how she managed to climb the boulder to climb the tree, but I guess that's not really what I'm worried about right now.

She looks a mess, but she's grinning. Her blonde-and-blue hair has come loose from its pigtail and there are a number of twigs sticking out of it. "Hey, everyone!" she yells, waving madly as if we might not have seen her. "I'm about to do something crazy!"