Ladies in a cabin
She thought she had indeed died. The numbness of her body, the silence ringing in her ears. When she looked up, she only saw a piercing white light. And in that moment Rose believed she was dead, or at least she hoped she was. What happened after she was pulled up from the ladder and collapsed into a steward's arms was impossible to tell. The lightness had turned into complete darkness. There was nothing but the sound of pure panic around her. Now there was a slight tingle in her right arm, followed by her left. Her body had started to thaw and within seconds, Rose grasped for air. A piercing pain rushed through her head and she fell back down onto her pillow. There was nothing but white pipelines above her.
"Try to stay calm, dear," An unfamiliar voice spoke next to her, "You are safe now."
Rose tried to turn towards the sound. Through the blurriness of her vision she was able to make out the young woman sitting next to her. Perhaps she was a few years older than herself. Her white blonde hair was pinned up perfectly neat and she smelled of the early days of spring. Trying to sit up straight, a wave of nausea took over and the lady was just in time to put a bucket under her chin. Emptying little what was left in her stomach, Rose felt a hand stroking her hair gently.
"Oh you poor thing." Her midwest accent was rather soothing. She placed the bucket back onto the floor and smiled gently at Rose, "We were afraid you weren't going to make it, dear. You were so cold when they pulled you out of the water."
Her words put her back into reality. For a minute she hoped it had all been a bad and cruel dream, but everything was real. The panic in his eyes before they went down. He had hold her until the last minute until the suction was too strong and she lost him in the crowd of the dying. Hanging onto a piece of a table, she cried his name out in the darkness until everything went black.
Now she was here, safe and sound, yet it felt as if life itself had been sucked from her body. Rose suddenly swept her feet off the bed and pushed herself up. The room seemed to turn, but she quickly regained herself by grabbing onto the bed frame. The woman's eyes widened as if she was looking at a ghost. Her red curls hung over her face like a curtain. The bags underneath her eyes were as blue as the ocean. Her clothes, still damp, clung lifelessly around her body.
"Where do you think you are going?" She took hold of Rose's arm.
"Jack," She groaned, "I need to find him."
"Your husband?"
She simply nodded, "Can you show me where he is?"
"Dear, I don't know where they keep everyone. Please, sit down." She carefully put her back onto the bed, "I am going to get you some tea and when I come back I will explain everything." The woman didn't wait for an answer. She moved towards door and before leaving she turned around once again. "My name is Elizabeth by the way."
"Rose."
Focused on the sounds coming from the corridor, Rose came to the conclusion that everything seemed to turn worse as seconds passed. There were footsteps rushing past, voices screaming out names, followed by loud sobs. Locked up inside this tiny room, she needed to find out what the scale of the disaster was. There was no way to make out the time for there was no clock and her biological timer was nothing but disordered. His words echoed through her mind. "… We are gonna make it, Rose. Trust me."
And she did, she trusted him with her whole being. He had to be somewhere wondering around looking for her. She put the trust of his survivor over the knot in her stomach that was growing by the minute. It was an instinctive feeling which she tried to ignore. He was alive. He was alive.
After what seemed like over on hour, Elizabeth returned with a tray filled with pieces of toast and two large mugs of tea. The smell of the butter made her feel sick again, but there was nothing left within her to throw up. Quickly regaining herself, she thanked the young woman when she was handed the hot beverage. Her whole body was still frozen, making her chuck the tea in one go.
"Here you can have mine as well." Elizabeth said and watched how the distressed girl devoured the second mug. They stayed silent for a while before Elizabeth brought up his name. "I know you want to look for your husband, but I simply think there is no use. Apparently the Californian has picked up many other survivors, perhaps he is on there."
"How many people are on this ship?" Rose took a piece of toast off the tray and pulled it apart before putting it back. She couldn't eat.
"As of now, there are around 700 people here on the Carpathia."
"700 people is a lot, Elizabeth. There might be a chance. I have to know."
"Well, I can't stop you, Rose." She gave her a smile of sympathy and took her hand in hers, "But maybe we can put you into some new clothes."
She simply nodded, her hands trembling. As the footsteps continued to barge outside of the room, a fantasy took over the traumatic events that were now trapped within her. Jack would be waiting outside, looking out over the horizon. As she stepped closer he turned around to the sound of her approaching. He smiled, the wonder of a child locked within his endless blue orbs. Rose could feel a sense of relief, a form of safety. They were together, at last. Speaking of the beautiful adventures lying ahead of them, she carefully placed her head on his shoulder. l She stood back up and let Elizabeth take her towards the centre of her cabin. Passengers from the Carpathia had been collecting both their own clothes as well blankets and table cloths for survivors to wear. They had already turned the first class smoking room into a dormitory.
"My goodness your coat if heavy." Elizabeth whispered beneath her breath as she took it off Rose's body. It suddenly slipped out of her hands, dropping onto the floor. Then there was a glimpse of what seemed like a sparkle. Both women looked down, confused by the object that was in the pocket. Rose's stomach dropped the second she saw what Elizabeth took out of it. We are Royalty, Rose. His words pierced through her brain. It was indeed his coat and he had put It on her. Rose wanted to snatch the diamond out of her hands, but she simply didn't have the power. She stood there, unable to move or say a thing. Elizabeth turned her head to face her and shook her head.
"Le cœur de la mere. Worn by Louis the sixteenth."
Rose looked away and was taken aback by Elizabeth's knowledge of the diamond. It was a rare one, only a few people knew about its existence. What she didn't know was that Elizabeth was close to an expert in anything that has something to do with diamonds or jewellery. Her father, Emanuel Dorrance, sold the most luxurious bijoux on Rue Dauphine, Paris. The man had taught his daughter everything there is to know about the extraordinary material. It was that young Mr. Hockley, heir to the Pittsburgh steel tycoon. He had written to her a few weeks back. He bought it, the diamond. For his soon to be wife miss Rose DeWitt Bukater.
"You are Rose DeWitt Bukater," She then stated whilst recalling her father's words. "Caledon Hockley's fiancee."
"Keep your voice down." Rose spat at her. She could feel her eyes starting to tear up, "I am not his fiancee."
"You have a ring on your finger."
She in fact still had the horrid thing wrapped around like a chain, keeping her attached to something she desperately wanted to forget. She tried to get it off, but it was impossible. He still had her in his power. Elizabeth then moved towards her without saying anything. It was only after she had put Rose into a clean outfit she continued her speech. She spoke of her youth, her father's obsession with climbing up the social ladder.
"I could guess the price of every sparkling object dangling on a woman's body. That's why I know, because it is a rare thing." She had put the diamond back in the coat which was hanging over a wooden chair.
"Like I said," Rose's sounded soft, but her words spoke so loudly. I am not his fiancee. At least, not anymore. Whatever the outcome of this nightmare, he is already dead to me. My whole family is dead to me."
"Except for, Jack."
"Yes. Jack is my new family."
The uneasiness did not subside as Rose walked through the entirety of the ship. It was this never ending tide both of exhaustion and adrenaline that kept her going. Third class was nothing but a maze. One corridor after the other, it kept getting narrower and narrower. She felt stupid for not being able to forget about this deep desire of hers. The ignorance of a teenage girl. The sound of a piano and the chatter of many people suddenly rose from beneath her. She stood still for a moment, took a deep breath and headed down the stairs. It was like entering a world she had only read about in books. This was reality, all playing out in front of her eyes. Children rushed passed her, dropped to their knees to catch a rat. Ladies were singing until they noticed the presence of an unfamiliar figure. Before them was a person who had walked straight out of a fairytale. They all turned to her, the yellow glow of her dress radiating through the room. Rose felt uneasy, but kept nodding her head to those around her the behold her good behaviour. As she moved forward she slowly started to see him in his sight.
He was there then, yet nowhere to be found now. No one knew or perhaps pretended not to know to keep themselves standing in the chaos. She was alone, trapped within fear and uncertainty, trapped on yet another ship. She leaned her back against a wall and took a deep breath. Numbingly, she watched how a woman rushed by. The woman was holding a baby close to her chest whilst sobbing loudly. Rose could hear the foreign cries and prayers to God, the french lady was angry at God. Her husband was dead. The Californian had soon caught up with the Carpathia helping them search for any more bodies in the freezing waters of the atlantic, but they were not carrying any survivors as so many believed. Out of 2200 souls, only one third had survived. It was a hopeless action. There was nothing left.
A sudden voice snapped Rose from her delusional thought back into reality. Her muscles tensed as she tried to listen closer to where it was coming from.
"Sir, this all third class, there is no way you will be able to find her here."
Rose quickly moved and turned around the corner. Peeking her head around she gasped. He was alive, he was right in front of her. Her hands automatically covered her mouth and she disappeared back into the shadow.
"Don't you touch me. I want this whole ship searched. I will not stop until I find her."
The officer stopped him in his tracks and moved his body in front of him. "Perhaps it is good to accept it."
Still holding her breath, Rose watched until the two men were out of her sight. Cal was here and he was looking for her. She rushed in the opposite direction, using her intuition as a guide which eventually lead her towards a staircase. Her first descend had brought her to him, the last one had torn them apart. "Do not let go of my hand..." Will a third time put everything in the right place again? Will he be waiting for her patiently. Yes. Her feet flew down, leading her to what was originally the ship's cargo hold. Now the area was filled with women. Only women. It was an ambience of hectic composure. The sadness and pain of those was inaudible.
"Hey you!" someone behind her called her. Rose turned around and looked straight into the eyes of a middle aged woman who was hurriedly signing her to come. She aboyed her gestures.
"Instead of standing there without doing anything you could maybe be of some use." She sounded as stern as she looked. Her half black half grey hair was neatly put into a bun. Her eyes burned from underneath her glasses.
"I am looking for my husband. His name Jack Dawson."
"Aren't we all looking for someone? You see these women around? They are in desperate need of help. It is better to put our attention to the living instead of the dead."
"He is not dead." Rose gritted through her teeth.
"Well if you are so sure about his survival, you will find him eventually. Can you sew?"
Rose shook her head. The woman then pointed to the corner of the room where others were cutting up sheets and every other kind of fabric they could get their hands on. She took a seat behind the table, picked up a pair of scissors and felt a silent tear roll down her face. Don't you dare give up on us, Dawson, she thought to herself, don't you dare leave me. Everyone kept quiet whilst aimlessly cutting one piece after the other. Rose kept her gaze glued to the door, afraid Cal could walk in at any moment. Her mind then wandered off to her mother. She had never seen that look her eyes when she refused to enter the lifeboat. Ruth was desperate, her screams echoing through the night sky. She also would be here somewhere. Would she still have hope for her daughters survival or would she have accepted the unthinkable but harsh truth of a mother having outlived her child. Despite her beating heart, Rose felt dead. DeWitt Bukater was no longer a part of her and all this horror had turned her life into a tragic renaissance. She didn't feel any form of remorse for the people of her past, only hate.
As the car drove up towards the ship Rose felt dizzy. The floating prison suddenly appeared from behind the buildings, surrounded by a swamp of people. Her hands started to get sweaty from underneath her leather gloves. As she stepped out her amazement of its grandness overwhelmed her, but she kept her words cool and static. Looking through the crowd, there was a sudden urge to melt within the strangers. It was possible, she thought, to distract the others and disappear. Rose's thoughts took too long, her desire was too weak. Cal put her arm around his and started to head towards a new beginning. Little did she know that for the most part it would be the best time of her life.
"It is totally hopeless." An older woman whispered to the other sitting next to Rose. "She has been crying and screaming the whole morning. Her parents are nowhere to be found, most likely dead. Poor thing."
"Where is she now?"
"In the corner over there." she pointed across the room. Rose followed her movement and squinted her eyes to clearly see a little girl rocking herself. Her back was facing the others, her brown curls tangled up into one knot. Rose kept looking until the girl turned her face and made her identity known.
"Oh my God." Rose dropped her pair of scissors and pushed her chair back. She ran towards the little girl and dropped in front of her. "Cora, is that you?"
Her brown eyes were all teared up, red and puffy. She stared at the person in front of her. It took her a second to let it all sink in. Then she sighed deeply and threw herself into Rose's arms.
"I want my mummy and daddy." She cried into the crook of neck.
"I know, darling." Rose whispered, "I know. But I am her now and I am going to help you. Do you trust me?"
Cora pushed herself back slightly and nodded her head. "Where is uncle Jack?"
Uncle Jack. The words cut through her like a knife. Even he had carved a place into the heart of this small girl. Rose tried to smile at her to not make the situation any more horrible. "He is here somewhere. But there are so many people on this boat they have to get things a bit organized."
"It is a ship."
Rose laughed through her tears. "You are right, it is a ship. But first we have to get you somewhere safe before we can start looking alright?"
Again, Cora nodded her head. The girls both got on their feet. Rose had no strength left within her to carry her through the ship back. She grabbed a blanket off the floor and wrapped it over her hair. Her soft woolen skirt and cotton blouse wouldn't give her identity away and now with her hair covered up she should be able to get up without being recognized. Cora held Rose's hands tightly, squeezing it every once and a while to make sure she was still there. After what seemed like an eternity they managed to find Elizabeth's cabin. Without saying a word or showing any case of confusion, Elizabeth let them in and locked the door behind them.