The weirdest place

Life was great. Exhausting, stressful and very confusing, but great. Already a couple of months went by since she ran away from the altar. There were the occasional moments of doubts whether she made the right decision, but she always tried to remember the things she ran away from. Not the things that almost made her marry him. Barry actually wasn't that bad of a person. On the contrary, he was actually one of her best friends and she could really talk to him and, sometimes when she was alone with her thoughts, she even missed him a bit. But she just didn't feel it – the spark, the electricity, the wanting. He was more a very close friend who she had sex with. One who had medium looks, but made a lot of money and gave her a worry-free future.

Now, though, she had freedom. She wasn't dependent on anyone but herself. Well, technically, that's not totally true. She was a bit dependent on Monica, since she let her live in her apartment. Everything else, nevertheless, was all for her to decide. She was also starting to learn that the value of money drastically changed depending on which situation you're in. All in all, she was learning a lot of things and she was really grateful for this.

She was sweeping the last stripes of dirt from the floor of the coffeehouse and, when the broom was back in the janitor closet, she closed of the coffeehouse and called it a night. It was a bit past ten in the evening when she opened the door to her apartment. Monica was on a date, so she had the place for herself at the moment. Bryan, no Robert, or, no wait, Bob? She didn't remember the name of Monica's date. Monica hadn't had high hopes for the date anyway. She wanted to give him a chance though. Especially since he had asked her out and she didn't want to make him feel bad by saying no, so she had agreed to the date. Rachel had a feeling that the date wouldn't be that long. IF Monica would be back later than eleven, she would be surprised.

Sure enough, at five minutes to eleven, Monica opened the door of the apartment. Rachel turned around on the couch and leaned with her chin on her hand that was resting on the back of the sofa.

"So?"

Monica lifted her eyes and looked with an exhausted face at her best friend.

"It wasn't horrible, it just was exactly what I was expecting."

"Which was?"

"A whole evening of small talk with a guy that I don't find attractive and ending up socially drained from having to talk to a stranger a whole evening about your live and having to pretend that everything he is saying is interesting or smart or funny", Monica sighed, "I'm pretty sure we're not going out another time."

"Pretty sure? You didn't tell him that you don't see a second date in the future?"

"No, I couldn't with him looking at me like that, -"

"Monica, come on, you're planning on never seeing the guy again, so what if he cries tonight in his bed that he couldn't get you. You know, sometimes you're too gentle with people."

"What's wrong with not wanting to make people feel bad?"

Rachel sighed, "Alright, okay, you spared his feeling today, good for him. When are you going to tell him though that you don't plan on seeing him again?"

"Uhm, never?"

"Never?"

"Yeah, uhm, I told him I would call him and I got his phone number, but he doesn't have mine, so the ball is pretty much in my court. But, since I'm not planning on calling, there will never be a second date", Monica said while walking to the couch. She sat down with her back against the left leaning and draped her arm around the back of the couch, facing Rachel.

Rachel looked at her, puzzled. "So, let me get this straight, you don't want to hurt the guy by saying to his face that you don't want him, but you're choosing to hurt him by not calling him ever again?"

"Hey, I don't chose to hurt him, okay? It's just easier this way. I don't have to see the disappointment on his face. Now, I can just imagine him shrugging it off by thinking that I have the wrong phone number and him forgetting about me the day after, when he meets another woman at some bar."

Rachel smiled, shaking her head. "Whatever works for you, girl."

Monica let out a soft laugh. She shifted around in her seat to get a bit more comfortable. Eventually ending up her two legs straightened out and her feet resting on Rachels lap. She let her head fall in her hand and let out a deep sigh. "God, why do we have to go through all of this first date crap. I hate talking to strangers and it's even worse to spend a whole evening with them if I now after five minutes that he is definitely not the one."

"I know what you mean", Rachel said, running her hand softly over Monica's shins, "It's one of the things I actually miss about Barry. Being able to go out to dinner and talk a whole evening without being tired after it because it didn't cost any effort to talk to Barry. And, you know, having sex after was also nice." Rachel's gaze was directed toward the window. Somewhere there, he was lying in bed.

Monica studied her friend. She didn't often talk about Barry. It's not really because it's a sensitive or delicate topic, but neither is it her favourite. After a moment of silence, Monica said in a soft voice, "Do you miss him?"

Rachel's gaze snapped back to Monica with a surprised expression. "Miss him? God no, I don't think I would be able to stand being in the same room as him for more than ten minutes after all these months. But I do miss the intimacy."

Monica's face softened. "What part do you miss of it? The sexual part or the romantic part?"

"Both. I mean, it's not that I didn't have sex in all these months, but it's still different, you know. It's new and you don't really feel comfortable with the person yet, but you're too horny to care and, I don't know, it's just not the same", she sighed, "The romantic part however, I miss, but I wouldn't want it with him ever again."

Nodding in understanding, Monica opened her mouth to say something, but Rachel was faster.

"Like, I don't know, sometimes I wish I could just do it with a friend you know. Without any complications, just sex, but with someone I know and trust and feel comfortable with."

This was not what Monica was expecting Rachel to say. Rachel herself seemed to be a little surprised too. These thoughts were going through her mind for a couple of weeks now, but never once had it entered her mind to share them. Now, however, it just slipped out. Like she couldn't control it anymore.

"You mean, uhm, like, you know, Joey? O- or Chandler? Or Ross?", Monica asked with a small voice dripping with uncertainty.

Rachel felt her face heating up and she prayed that she didn't look as red as she felt. With her eyes down and her hands plucking non-existent dust from her pants, she answered silently, "I don't know, I – yes, them, but - ", she let out a small sigh, it was difficult to explain her thoughts properly. "Also others." Her eyes flicked swiftly up to Monica's and then down again, resuming the plucking on her pants.

Monica was now even more confused, "Who else then? You have more male friends that you feel as close to?"

"You see, that's to thing, it's not that I don't feel close to Joey and Ross and Chandler, it's just, I don't know them for that long yet. Except for Ross of course, but I never got to know him as just Ross before now. In high school, I just knew him as Monica's brother. And since I don't have any other close male friends, I was thinking, uhm, you know,…", Rachel's voice got gradually more silent. She had never before opened up to anyone about this, but something about Monica just made her feel so safe. So at ease. She just finds herself rambling on about all this stuff that had never before left her brain. This was the first time she said these thoughts actually out loud.

"Rachel?"

She had been silent for a long time she realized. When she looked up, the first thing she saw were Monica's questioning eyes. She looked so confused, like she couldn't fit the puzzle together.

"You, uhm, you mean like with girls?", she asked.

"Yeah, no, not entirely. Not 'just' girls. More a – a close female friend", Rachel stood up suddenly and with an awkward laugh she walked in the direction of her room. "You know, it's kinda late already and I have an early shift tomorrow and I drank a bit too much, so you know, why don't we delete this conversation and go to sleep, huh? Goodnight, Mon!"

She was about to close her door, when Monica called out, "Wait!" She stood up and walked towards Rachel, stopping at an arm's length in front of Rachels door. "First of all, you're shift starts at eleven tomorrow, which is not that early and you didn't drink any alcohol, because you had a shift tonight and there is no wineglass, nor any wine bottle, anywhere in the apartment. Second of all, no way am I forgetting this conversation. On the contrary, I would like to finish it, if you would be up for it."

Rachel's eyes looked anywhere but at Monica. Damn it, why can't she, for once, be gullible? After a few moments of consideration, she realized her options were pretty limited. Without looking at Monica or saying anything to her, she took her hand and guided her back to the couch. They sat close together, knees touching and Rachel cupping Monica's left hand.

"Okay, look, please don't freak out about this", Rachel began, "I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and I just realized that what – or rather who - I needed, is actually already there. I've been longing for sex with someone I feel close too and, I mean, I already experimented a bit with girls in high school, but it never went further than kissing and the occasional groping."

Monica listened intently to Rachel. She never knew this about her. Obviously, she did way more sex related stuff in high school than Monica did, but she didn't know that she also had experience with girls.

"It's been some time now, since when I last fooled around with a girl, but I still feel attracted to both. And it makes me confused, you know. But it's so hard to know which women to ask, I just never have to guts for it, and when I do make a pass I get nervous and play it off as a dare from my friends and end up with the usual kiss you get in the club from a stranger you're never going to see again."

"However, lately, I've been starting to think, with you - "

"With me?", Monica's mouth fell open, she expected her to say that one of the women she got to know in the time between their high school years and when she ran out of her wedding was on her mind, but never once did Monica expect Rachel to say her name.

"Mon, I'm sorry, but bear with me for a second, can you do that?"

Rachel's pleading look made her agree.

"I don't feel anything romantic for you, neither am I in love or something with you, but you are my best friend. I can talk to about stuff that I don't talk about with anyone else. I feel at ease when I'm with you, comfortable. And I was just wondering, you know in my head, what it would be like to be more intimate with you, without being in a relationship. You know, kind of like friends with benefits, but then with a person you totally, 100 percent trust and that you know that your friendship is too strong to let anything tear it up."

When Rachel looked up, she saw Monica sitting there. Speechless. Her mind trying to make sense of all the new information she just got about her best friend. Did I make a terrible mistake telling all of this to her? Man, I'm a horrible friend dumping all of this on her. This is so unfair to her.

"I'm sorry, forget what I just said, it was just a whole load of crappy thoughts from me and - "

"Shh, let me think", Monica closed her eyes and pinched the upper part of her nose with her right hand, the one that wasn't still in Rachel's hands. I can't tell her.

But she just told me all of this, it's only fair.

I'm not even sure.

But on the other hand, she just told me she was confused too.

It's too soon.

Yeah, well, it's always going to be too soon.

Of, to hell with it.

"I have it too."

Snapped out of her own thoughts by Monica breaking the silence, Rachel looked at Monica. "You have what too?"

"The confusion. You know, the do I feel attracted to them, or do I look up to them. Do I want to be with them or do I want to be like them. And who does that make me…", Monica trailed off staring at the coffee table. Rachel squeezed her hand and gave her a soft smile.

"I know exactly what you mean. I struggle also a lot with these questions, although I'm pretty sure I feel attracted to both."

"So, you're a, you know, bisexual person?"

"Eh, I guess so. I don't really put something on it. I just feel – or don't feel – attraction for someone."

"Whoa, you have this whole thing figured out already."

"I wouldn't say 'figured out' perse. If you want, though, we can maybe figure this out together?"

"What do you mean?", Monica asked.

"I mean, we can try to experiment a bit and see where it leads us. It doesn't necessarily needs to be the two of us, it can also be with another woman, but it would be kinda nice to already know each other when things get more intimate."

"I, I don't know, Rach, it's all kind of a lot for me. I mean, I just came back from a first date with a man and now were talking about sleeping with each other", doubtfully, Monica's voice grew a bit unsteady.

"Tell you what, sleep on it, think about it the following days and, whenever you're ready, you come and talk to me about what you want, alright?"

Still full of doubt, Monica nodded. Rachel patted her hand and stood up. "Night, Mon", she said in a soft voice while walking to her room. Dumbfounded, Monica stayed frozen on her spot on the couch. The faint sound of a bell in the distance let her know it was midnight. She didn't know whether she wanted to rewind to two hours earlier, in the middle of the boring date, or if she wanted to stay exactly here, with so much secrets open and with so many possible outcomes.

Slowly, she got up to get ready for bed. When she finally went under the covers, her eyes closed almost immediately, but her mind wouldn't shut up.

There is no other person in the world that I would trust enough to be able to talk about this. But, getting physically involved, it can get ugly real fast. I can't lose her. I can't take that risk. But it wouldn't be anything romantic, just some exploring and experimenting and it will help us to confirm the fact that we feel attracted to women or not. And who better suited for such intimate things than someone I can trust blindly? But it will change our dynamic. Even though we say we won't let it, things are going to change. But change isn't necessarily bad. Maybe this will be the best thing that ever happened in my entire life. Or the worst.

Having overslept after her late night of brain storming with her own thoughts, Monica came out of her bedroom at half past nine. At the sound of her footsteps, Rachel turned around and smiled at her from the cooking stove. "Hi, how are you feeling, honey? Slept okay? I made breakfast for you. I know you make it ten times better than me, but I figured it's the least I can do for you after last night. You hungry?"

Rachel had already turned around again halfway through to check on the eggs in the pan, making sure they wouldn't get too dark. She still had her night clothes on. Her hair was up in a messy bun, quickly made to put it out of the way to cook, and she wore her light pink top with her favourite short. The fabric was just long enough to reach her leg. Watching Rachel standing there, cooking for her, worrying about her and wearing her night clothes in front of her without getting embarrassed – no way would she stand here like this if any of the guys were here, she would have at least her robe on – Monica made her decision. There wasn't a person in the world where she would even consider doing this journey with, but, standing in front of her, was the one person she could trust the most. The one person she could rely on when she had to get something of her chest. The one person that wouldn't judge her for being herself.

"Alright, let's do it."

"Huh?"

"Let's do the experimenting together."

Rachel stopped stirring the eggs, "Really? Hon', are you sure? You can take your time to think about it, as much as you need", Rachel said as she turned around and looked at Monica.

Walking towards Rachel showing more confidence than she currently had, Monica stopped right in front of her and took her two hands in hers. "There is no one else who I would rather discover all of this. I'm sure, Rach. But only if you still are."

A slow smile came on Rachels face and soon after her whole face lit up with her full smile. "Neither is there someone else I would rather discover all of this with", they hugged each other tightly.

"Oh, one thing though", came Monica's muffled voice from between the crook of Rachel's neck. She lifted her head a little to make speaking a bit easier, "Let's not tell anyone about this, alright?"

"Oh, of course. This is our secret", said Rachel with a smile.

Monica entered Central Perk around five minutes before the end of Rachel's shift. She quickly scanned the coffee house for any sign of their friends, but was glad to see that she was alone. Rachel was behind the counter, putting the freshly baked muffins in the basket. Monica walked up to her and sat at the bar right in front of her friend. Rachel looked up and instantly a smile spread on her face. "Hi!"

"Hi! Ready to go?"

"I just need to finish this and then I'm free to go."

Seven muffins later, Rachel and Monica walked out of the coffee house and took the stairs to their apartment.

"There were some leftovers at the restaurant, so I brought them with me for dinner tonight", Monica said while opening the door. Heading in the apartment, she put their dinner on the countertop. While she unpacked, Rachel headed for her bedroom to change in some comfortable clothing, since she wasn't planning on leaving the apartment anymore today.

"So, I put the numbers from this sheet on the computer", Chandler started when she came back to the living room in a simple shirt and loose pants, "and, after I almost finished, which, like, already took two hours, I realized that it was the paper from last week, which I already did last week, and that I didn't have the paper from this week yet. So, I had to erase all my work from the past two hours, only to start over with the sheet from this week. It was horrible, let me tell you", Chandler shook his head, annoyed. Monica gave him a compassionate pat on the back.

Monica started heating up the leftovers while the rest of the gang made their way into the apartment. There was a pleasant buzz of conversation among them. Rachel sat in the chair and Joey sat in front of the tv. The other three were seated on the couch, pretending to be interested in the fact that there was a discovery of some old stone. Rachel's attention started to waver from the conversation to the woman in the kitchen.

She looks so at ease while she cooking. In her own little world with her own rules. A place where she can be in total control of everything going in.

Needing something from the fridge, Monica turned around and glanced at her friends before opening in the fridge. Halfway through the action though, her eyes shot up again and a soft, slow smile began to creep on her face. Rachel, totally oblivious to the conversation going on next to her, was watching her with her full attention. She smiled back and tried to return her attention back in the conversation. Something about a massage client who hadn't showered in weeks.

Dinner was delicious as always. Having scraped out their plates and it being close to ten o'clock already, the gang started to filter out again, back to their apartment, muttering their 'goodnights' and 'thanks for dinner, Mon', who was doing the dishes.

"So", Rachel began when they were alone.

"So", Monica slid in the couch beside her.

"You still want to do this?"

"I've been thinking about it at all at work and it only made me more sure."

"I'm glad", Rachel began, "We do need to have some kind of 'rules', though. Otherwise it can get ugly real quick."

"I would like to start with, when it gets too difficult or complicated, we stop immediately and go back to best friends. Because I can't afford to lose you. You mean too much to me."

Rachel took Monica's hand and gave her a squeeze. "That's totally reciprocated. I would like to propose that we can keep going on dates and everything, since this isn't a relationship, right?"

"Right, that's a good one. Maybe also, since we're on this subject, no romantic stuff? I mean, obviously we're not just, you know, using each other or something, but, yeah, you know what I mean?"

"Absolutely, not a couple, just super close best friends", Rachel said with a wink.

"Alright then", Monica said with a soft chuckle, "We have more 'rules'? Otherwise I'm gonna head to bed. I'm pretty beat."

"I think we've covered the most important ones. And if something else comes up, we just need to communicate about it with each other."

"Agreed. Good night, Rach", Monica said while patting Rachel's knee.

"Night, Mon"

She watched her walk to her bedroom, admiring her friends beauty. I can't believe that I will be able to touch her so much more intimately. To explore all those freckles and soft skin. Her thoughts started to drift off more and more and she ended up getting herself incredibly horny. At this point, she didn't care anymore about whether she was going to look desperate, she had made her decision.

Monica was just getting under the covers, having changed in her large shirt and panties for the night. When she wanted to turn off her bedside lamp, Rachel burst in her room. Confused, Monica called, "Rach? What is going on?"

"Nothing, I was just thinking, let's have sex", she said trying to act casual, but totally failing at it.

Monica snorted, "Yeah, right." The longer she looked at Rachel, the more she realized though that she was being serious. "Wait, you're not kidding?"

"Uhm, no?"

"Don't we need to, I don't know, do other stuff first? Or wait a bit? I mean, I don't know, it's fast, no?"

"The way I look at it, we're already there. Normally, you need to go through, mostly awful, first dates, getting to know each other, building trust, figuring out if you like the person enough to want to have sex with them. But with us, dates, we don't do, since we're not a couple. All the rest, however, we already do. We trust each other, we like each other, we know each other like no one else. I think we're really ready for this. And, anyway, we're going to do it at some point anyway. Why wait? You know?"

She looked with expecting and hopeful eyes at Monica. Monica contemplated in her head. She does have a point though. Plus, I really want to know how it feels like to be intimate with a woman. And, the fact that Rachel is standing there, looking as beautiful as always even though she's wearing sweatpants, is not really helping in the staying cool and collected plan she wanted to stick to.

"Oh, what the hell, we're planning on doing it anyway, why not now?", while kicking the sheets back of her.

"Oh good, I'm too horny not to have sex now."

Monica came to the foot of the bed sitting on her knees, rising up to get to the same height as Rachel, but not quite getting there, missing a couple of inches. Looking up in Rachel's eyes, she saw the want that she was sure was reflected in hers as well. Slowly, they came together, bringing their lips together in a lingering kiss, while their hands came up to hold each other. Softly, Monica started to tug Rachel downwards, laying her on top of her at the foot of the bed. They were both breathing heavily already, charged with anticipation.

"Are you still comfortable? Or do you want to stop?", Rachel asked with her face a couple of inches above Monica's.

"No, I've never felt so safe as now. I trust you. Do you want to stop?"

"No, not at all. Me too, I trust you completely. Promise me though, you will tell me when you want to stop."

"I promise if you promise you will tell me too."

"I promise", Rachel whispered, leaning down to place a soft kiss on Monica's lips, her nose, her forehead.

Surrounded by candles, all of them - except Chandler, who was stuck in an ATM vestibule - were sitting around the coffee table of the girl's apartment.

"I'll go, I'll go!", Monica said, "Okay, senior year of college on a pool table."

"Okay, okay", Joey said with a smirk, "My weirdest place would have to be the women's bathroom on the second floor of the New York City public library", he finished with a proud smile and crossed arms.

"Oh my god", Monica exclaimed, "What were you doing in a library?"

Earning a round of laughs around the table, Monica smirked. "Hey, Pheebs", Ross began, "What about you?"

"Oh, uhm, Milwaukee."

Looking at everyone's confused faces, Rachel broke the silence. "Uhm, Ross?"

"Disneyland, 1989, 'It's a small world after all'."

"No way!", Joey said.

"Yeah, so the ride broke down, so Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children. They fixed the ride and we were asked never to return to the magic kingdom", he finished, plucking at the couch.

"Ooh, Rachel?", Phoebe turned to her.

"Come on, I already went."

"You did not go", Monica said.

"Yes, I did"

"Come on, tell us", Phoebe and Joey chimed in.

"Alright, uh", admitting defeat, "The weirdest place would have to be, oh… the foot of the bed", glancing slightly in Monica's direction.

"Step back, we have a winner", the others said.

Monica looked at Rachel with a wide smile. Throwing her hands up, feigning innocence, while looking at Monica, she mirrored her smile.

No copyright, I own no characters, nor script.

Season 1, episode 6

Please don't expect regular updates on this story. I'm sorry, but I'm really bad at that.

Let me know if you have thoughts or suggestions for this story. It's fun to read and maybe incorporate :)

Forgive the typo's or spelling mistakes, please. English is not my first language and I didn't reread it, because I had 'la flemme' (= French for I was too lazy).