Chapter 16: Commander Saru is a Kelpien. Pacifism is their species' defining trait.

"Bridge," I commanded the turbolift.

Day three, I thought to myself. It was my third day on the USS Discovery, but it felt equivalent to three years on the D'Kyr. Pretense in front of Vulcans was exhausting, I recalled, as you had to be ever vigilant, but with humans, the whole thing exploded into fifty more times the impossible scenarios flying at you from fifty more different directions!

Vulcans were predictable.

Predictable assholes, but still predictable.

Humans? 'Predictable'?

Don't make me laugh!

For humans, not only were the emotions elevated, uncontrolled, and all over the map, but the things they did flew right in the face anything imaginable, but they did it, and kept topping that.

Here! Let me take Vulcan gene therapy for funsies! Wonder what this does? Duh-huh!

Here! Let me hop into S'Vrall's rack and fuck her and fall asleep right before we have to talk to the Captain! WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

Humans! Humans gave me nightmares! Humans gave me headaches, ... and this was only day three!

I exited the turbolift onto the Bridge.

Captain Lorca had the conn. He turned and smirked when he saw it was me. "Lieutenant," he greeted me pleasantly.

So, third day: not so bad, after all.

"Captain," I returned the greeting. "How's the injury?" I asked and pointed to my side where he had been stabbed.

He nodded. "Stings. How about you? How are you doing?"

"I am functional, sir," I replied.

"Functional enough to give security training at 15:00 hundred hours?"

I looked to the security officer on duty. He cringed and looked away. Gotcha! I'm sure he didn't miss my stink-eye.

I returned my attention to Captain Lorca.

"Yessir," I replied crisply. "I'm thinking of sparring to getting to know my team better, and them to get to know me."

Captain Lorca chuckled. "Lieutenant, I don't need my security division laid out in sickbay all at the same time."

"Sir, they won't be in sickbay if they're not totally incompetent." I replied.

"How do you define 'competent'? ...as good as you?"

"Nosir," I answered. "Better."

Captain Lorca nodded, hiding his smirk. "But my question was also about you: you're not going to end back in Sickbay because you're sparring when you should be recuperating?"

"Sparring, yessir," I replied crisply, "... against humans. It should be no problem."

Now Captain Lorca openly showed his smirk. "Is that a challenge, Lieutenant?"

I smirked right back: "Hells, ya, sir."

Captain Lorca chuckled. "Carry on, Lieutenant!"

At least I was on the Captain's good side, and that went a long way toward me be accepted aboard this ship. Maybe I could last more than a week, or month, or year here.

I stopped by the security station and talked with the officer on duty, getting the status from him.

Notice how the status is always the same?

"Nothing to report, sir!"

So, I spiced things up. "What if a Klingon came off the turbolift and started killing officers on duty with his disruptor? What would you do?"

The officer on duty blanched. "Well, sir, I'd ..."

"... you'd take out your phaser and kill him. That's the proper response. So: where is your phaser?"

"Well, sir ..."

"Members of the crew are not armed unless in battle," Commander Saru's voice carried across the bridge.

I turned, facing Commander Saru. "That needs to change. Now... sir. I count ... eight officers on the bridge, including the Captain, and you, XO. What's to prevent a surgical strike that first takes out the command crew? It's not like you hide where your bridge is."

"We're not going to have everyone walking around armed at all times." The XO chided. "That is completely unprecedented for Starfleet."

"This ship is completely unprecedented for Starfleet: a key to the war-effort," I countered, "making her a prime target in and out of battle. Starfleet regulations provide guid-..."

"XO, Lieutenant," Captain Lorca spoke up. "We're not going to resolve this here. XO, schedule a meeting of the command staff at 1900 hundred hours to discuss, but ..." Then he pivoted to me. "I agree with the XO: we can't have the entire crew armed at all times. Security ... maybe. We'll talk about it later."

I stood my ground. I was furious. Why were these Starfleet ... people allowing niceties to endanger their lives? They were as bad as Vulcans.

I frowned. "Sir, then, may I be reinstated to duty and arm myself, then, until we are resolved in this matter?"

Captain Lorca cocked his head. "Depends. What's your self-assessment?"

I made to answer.

"Be honest," he warned.

I glowered. "I would say I'm at full mental capacity but at 30% of nominal physical capability."

Captain Lorca shook his head. "Thank you for your honesty, but no dice."

I blinked.

He clarified: "No, you are not fit for duty. Talk to me, again, when you're at 50%."

"Will I be reinstated then?"

Captain Lorca smirked. "No, ... but you can talk to me then, if you'd like."

I, ... very much, felt like talking to him right now, but I also didn't want to be thrown into the brig.

I bit my tongue.

"Oh, and Ms. 30%?" the Captain taunted. "The XO is going attend your training, as he'll be in charge of security while you're convalescing."

I stood absolutely still. I counted, very slowly, to 3,962,511, alternating the counting increments by 7s and 11s.

"Sir," I said, calm and serene, "permission to speak with you in private?"

"Mm," Captain Lorca returned my glare with very cool ice-blue eyes. "XO? On me."

We, the three of us, filed into the briefing room.

...

"No disrespect, sirs, but aren't Kelpiens pacifists?"

"No disrespect received, Lieutenant: we are pacifists," was Saru's measured replied.

"So, ..." I said, "again, no disrespect, but don't you see a problem here, Captain, with the XO leading the security team while I recover? What happens when we engage with the Klingons? Is the XO going to talk them to death? Lead a peaceful charge of a peaceful security force to peacefully surrender to the enemy?"

"Up to that last bit, you were being very respectful," Captain Lorca noted.

"I am trying, sir!" I bit off.

"XO," the Captain turned to the XO. "What do you think? Is she trying to be respectful?"

The XO considered a moment. "She's making an effort, Captain. I wouldn't call it a successful effort," he added.

"Sir, this is no joke..." I began angrily.

"You're right, Lieutenant," the Captain interrupted. "This is no joke. What happens when my security officer's down or incapacitated? That happened yesterday, and you're still out of commission. XO, you're part of the command crew. You need to step up and lead, because people are going to be looking to you. What happens when I'm down, or killed, and the battle is raging around us? Is your solution, Lieutenant, that everyone queue up to be gutted because you didn't train the XO to be prepared to handle the very situation you put forward?"

I looked between Captain Lorca and Commander Saru.

And I had no answer. There was none, and the Captain knew it, damn him!

I turned to the XO. "How much combat training and experience do you have, sir?"

"I did graduate the Academy, Lieutenant."

"So, ... none, then," I stated.

Commander Sura sighed.

"Have you ever killed anyone, sir? ... in self-defense or in battle?"

"No." he said.

I just stood there.

I shook my head and turned to leave.

"Where are you going, Lieutenant?"

That was from the Captain.

"I need to meditate, sir." I said.

"'Meditate'?" he repeated.

"Yessir," I said. "I need to see a way of making ...this," I waved toward Commander Saru, "...work by 1500 hundred hours."

...without me losing my fucking mind, I thought angrily as I left.

Neither the Captain nor Commander Saru were mind-readers.

They probably didn't need to be, however, to intuit my parting thoughts on this matter.