I apologize for the delayed update! I've added scenes to and cut scenes from this chapter at the last minute so many times. They were cool scenes, but they did not work out.

I do not own anything related to Harry Potter or the James Taylor song Never Die Young.

X

Lily and Hagrid tended to the massive pumpkins for quite some time before he spoke. "…Er…um…I don't mean ter pry, but do yeh want ter…talk about it?" Lily looked up at Hagrid's kind and caring expression. He then quickly looked back down before a tear spilled down her cheek. "It's all right if yeh don't want ter. We can just keep workin'." The air was chilly and crisp. It was a good thing she had worn a knit woolen jumper and corduroy trousers underneath her cloak.

She sniffled. "Um… well… I'm Muggleborn, see, and I have a Muggle sister, Tuney. She uh… really likes magic, and she wants to um…do magic and to come here. I've tried everything." She looked down at her hands, continuing, "I even tried asking Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore if they could let her come, but they said no. … I'm trying to be a good sister, but Tuney says I'm… a… a… a… a freak. … I just want my sister back, but I don't know what else I can do."

His kind face was full of empathy behind his bushy, black beard. "I don't think there's anythin' else yeh can do. None of this is yer fault. … I'm gonna give yeh a bit of advice me dad gave me when I was yer age." He took a deep breath. "…I've always bin… a bit… err… bigger… than all the rest of the kids, an' I had a hard time makin' friends. Me ol' dad used ter say 'Never be ashamed. There's some who'll hold it against yeh, but they're not worth botherin' with.' Don't worry about anyone who doesn't love you for who you are. That's fer them ter worry about, not you." The wind rustled the leaves on the trees around them. Most of the trees had turned rich shades of red, orange, and yellow.

She gave him a sad smile as a few leaves floated to the ground. "You think so?"

Hagrid nodded. "Yeah. If she can't love yeh the way yeh are, then that's not yer problem. It has nuthin' ter do with yeh. … How do yeh like yer classes so far?" he asked. Lily lit up as she talked more and more about everything from her classes to her friends to Art Club. Soon dusk fell and it was time to go inside. "How many girls are in yer dormitory?"

"There's four of us in total," she said.

"Perfect." He walked over to the pile of smaller pumpkins and started to sort through them, making a pile of the best ones in the crook of his massive arm.

'I wonder what we could do with them. Maybe bake them and make pumpkin pasties? But where would we do that? Maybe Alexia and Marlene will have ideas,' Lily thought.

Hagrid turned to her and held up four pumpkins, two in each hand. "I've got some decent sized pumpkins here fer yeh. Which one would yeh like?"

'Oh! I won't have enough to give one to Sev! Hmm… It would be rather rude of me to ask for another one after Hagrid's been so kind to me. And I did just make Sev that book light bookmark. I have it with me, I'll give it to him tonight at dinner,' Lily reasoned as she picked out one of the pumpkins. "…I'll take this one! Thank you so much, Hagrid! For everything." The orange pumpkin stood in sharp contrast to her jade green gloves.

Hagrid waved it off. "Ah, it was nuthin'." He smiled as he carried the other three pumpkins up to the castle with her, fallen leaves crunching beneath their feet.

Once they arrived at the entrance to the Great Hall, she began scanning around looking for Severus. She caught sight of his back heading toward the Slytherin table. "Sev!"

Severus looked over his shoulder and caught sight of Lily. "Yeah?" he asked, walking back towards her.

She looked at Hagrid. "Could you hold this for me, please?"

"No problem." Hagrid took her pumpkin.

"Thanks!" She turned back to Severus. "I made you something." 'Oh, I hope he likes it!' she thought as Severus' face lit up. She pulled a dragon-hyde leather bookmark decorated in the Slytherin House colors with a life-like snake on it out of her pocket. "Do you like it? It has your name on it too, right here." She pointed to his name written in silver.

Severus stood up straight. "Woah. Thanks." He examined it, in awe of all the little details she had included.

"Oh! And it lights up, so you can read at night when everyone else is asleep. Just tap it right here," she demonstrated how to use the book light. "...And then you tap it again to turn it off." She lightly tapped it again with her wand and the bookmark went dark.

"It's brilliant." He gestured towards Hagrid with a hopeful expression. "What's with the pumpkins?"

"Oh, I've been helping Hagrid tend to the pumpkins so he's letting me take some for the girls in my dormitory," Lily said.

His face grew sour, as if he had swallowed stinksap. "Oh." His narrow shoulders slumped, his black eyes downcast.

'Oh, no. He's disappointed. I was afraid of this.' "Well, anyway… I'll see you tomorrow! Let me know how that bookmark is!" Lily said.

"Yeah." Severus nodded, glumly slumping toward the Slytherin table.

Lily's heart sank as she watched him walk away. 'Maybe I should go give him my pumpkin? Maybe I should have given him the bookmark later? But he would still have seen me come in with Hagrid and probably asked about it.' She headed towards the Gryffindor table, which was covered with tureens and platters full of delicious food that was sure to taste wonderful after an afternoon working in the nippy autumn air. "Hiya Everyone! This is Hagrid! I've been helping him tend to the pumpkins and he's been kind enough to give us some for our dormitory!" She gestured to each of her friends. "Hagrid, this is Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald, and Alexia Shacklebolt."

"Thank you, Hagrid! We can each carve one!" Marlene said brightly as Hagrid handed out the pumpkins.

'We could carve them? I didn't think of that,' Lily thought.

"Yeah, thank you so much!" Alexia and Mary chimed in as Lily settled into the seat between them.

Hagrid waved it off with a cheery smile. "Oh, it was nuthin'! I'm gonna head up ter the staff table now. Yeh lot are always welcome ter come see me anytime yeh'd like." His beetle black eyes crinkled.

"We will! And thank you again for letting me help with the pumpkins!" Lily began serving herself dinner.

Hagrid beamed. "Yer welcome!" he said cheerily as he strode away.

Mary looked inquiringly at Alexia and Marlene. "Wizards carve pumpkins?"

"Yeah, for Halloween.… Don't Muggles carve pumpkins too?" Alexia asked.

"Well, no. We carve turnips and potatoes," Mary said.

'Carved turnips and potatoes? I've never heard of that either.' "We've always carved beets," Lily chimed in, sipping her pumpkin juice.

Marlene raised her eyebrows. "And you lot carve beets, turnips, and potatoes without magic? We always use goblin-made knives, and even then, it's hard. Pumpkins are much easier, they are." Her skin was clear of spots.

Lily shrugged. "We just use sharp knives… Well you know, this will be brilliant. I bet we'll be the only ones with our own carved pumpkins." 'That is, if I don't give Sev my pumpkin.'

"We should get some supplies from the student store cupboard in the art club room. I bet we'd find loads to add to our pumpkins in there," Mary said.

"What if we asked Sinistra to show us how to do those smoke effect spells she was talking about?" Lily asked, excited.

Mary's heart-shaped face lit up. "Oh brilliant! And maybe we could use that glow-in-the-dark paint!"

They ate their dinner, chatting about pumpkin carving and the upcoming first Quidditch match of the season. Still, Lily could not help from feeling upset over how had Severus reacted. They walked back to Gryffindor Tower after dinner with their pumpkins, her stomach tied up in knots.

Mary's voice was soft and gentle. "What's wrong? Are you all right? …Lily?"

Lily waved it off as she gave a forced smile. "Oh, it's nothing. Don't worry about it. I'm just thinking."

"It's all right. You can tell us," Mary said.

'How do I say this?' "It's just that… Sev saw me with Hagrid and the pumpkins, and he seemed rather… um… disappointed that he didn't get one too… so I was thinking of giving him mine."

"But then you can't carve one with us!" Alexia exclaimed.

"I don't know what else to do. I don't want him to feel left out," Lily said.

"So? This is something we're doing together. Just us girls," Marlene reminded her.

"I suppose," Lily said, still uncertain.

"And besides," Mary assured her, "you just made him that lovely bookmark with that book light in Art Club. You spent all week on it."

"That's true," Lily agreed.

"See? You're fine. He doesn't need to be included in everything you do," Marlene said.

"I suppose you're right.… It's just… he's my friend too," Lily's voice trailed off.

"Murtlap essence," Alexia said. The Fat Lady opened up the portrait hole. They all entered the Gryffindor Common Room with their pumpkins in hand. The Bonnie Prince Charlie, who had been sitting with James by the roaring fire, was instantaneously at Marlene's side.

'…Maybe I should carve it and then give it to Sev?' Lily thought.

"Do you lot ever get the feeling that your Magic is trying to… comfort you? Or encourage you?" Marlene asked as they climbed the stairs.

"No. What do you mean?" Alexia asked.

"I mean… well… sometimes whenever I feel sad or frustrated with a spell… it's like my Magic is trying to encourage me, and… you know… make me feel better.… That's never happened to you lot?" Marlene asked.

Lily shook her head. "No."

Marlene seemed disappointed, her voice small. "…Oh," she said as they entered their dormitory.

X

A couple weeks had passed since the pumpkin delivery. Severus and Lily walked from the Library to the Great Hall for dinner, chatting cheerfully after revising during their free afternoon. "Do you want to revise again tomorrow? Perhaps after lunch?" Severus asked sleekly.

Lily's voice was sympathetic. "Oh, Sev, I'm really sorry, but I promised my other friends that I'd help them with Charms and Potions tomorrow. We're all helping each other with our weaker points. Why don't you join us?"

His face fell as he mumbled bitterly. "I could help you with your weaker points. What do you need that lot for?"

"I know you could help me, but I already made plans with them. It wouldn't be right to cancel on them now. How would you like it if I did that to you?"

He paused. "… I… I wouldn't like that at all."

"I have an idea! Why don't we revise on Sunday? How about after breakfast? That way we can spend all day Sunday on revision." They entered the Great Hall, joining a sea of identical black robes and pointed hats with thousands of floating candles hanging above the four House tables. The light from the full moon shone through the tall windows.

Severus perked up instantly. "Brilliant. I'll see you Sunday after breakfast." He gave Lily a little wave as they diverged to their House tables.

Marlene turned to Lily as she sat down for dinner. "What time did you say you wanted to meet up to revise tomorrow?" She sipped her pumpkin juice.

"I was thinking after breakfast." Lily suggested as she served herself dinner.

Marlene nodded. "I could do that. I'll just have to make sure to get my run in first thing tomorrow. Oh, and Mary Fawcett, Ellory, and Cynthia might join us."

"And then we'll go see Hagrid in the afternoon," Mary added.

James, Sirius, and Alexia strutted towards the Gryffindor House table with a triumphant air with Peter at their heels. He had a look of amazement on his pudgy face. "What are you lot so smug about?" Marlene asked.

Alexia smirked as she and the boys sat down for dinner. "We've been trying to touch the Whomping Willow, and I nearly managed it."

Mary's large, doll-like blue eyes widened. "You WHAT?"

Lily gasped. 'What?! That's dangerous, that is.'

"I nearly touched the Whomping Willow, I did," Alexia said with pride.

"But you could have done yourself a serious injury! What if you broke your arm?" Lily's eyes rounded.

Alexia shrugged. "Well, a broken arm hurts like mad, but healers like Madam Pomfrey can heal that up in about a second."

Lily's jaw dropped. "You reckon she can?" 'I suppose she can. Look at how fast she patched up our burns and boils.'

"Of course." Alexia served herself Yorkshire pudding.

McLaggen stormed into the Great Hall, flanked by Aubrey and Abercrombie. He was covered in dirt and he had leaves in his wiry hair. "What's his problem?" Lily asked as McLaggen sat down and scowled at Alexia.

Alexia, Sirius, James, and Peter all burst into laughter. Sirius finally caught his breath enough to speak. "McLaggen's been boasting all day about how the 'Whomping Willow's no match for him'." He sniggered as he dished out some steak and kidney pie. "Well, James and I were trying to touch it along with McLaggen. We all got close, but McLaggen landed on his arse."

"But our Alexia here… practically touched it," James said with awe as Alexia took a bow, "The look on his face. He's a right prat, he is."

McLaggen still looked as if he were ready to combust. "She only got that close cause the stupid tree was already tired!" he spat, his nostrils flaring.

"Talk about sour grapes." Marlene rolled her bright blue eyes as she took a bite of her mashed potatoes.

'Sour grapes is right.' Lily took a bite of buttered peas.

"The tree was already tired? What tired out the tree? Are you saying you did?" James asked.

"Oh, well naturally… McLaggen here tired out the tree. The tree is obviously no match for Tiberius McLaggen The Great. Would you fancy showing us all how to tire out a tree?" Sirius asked.

Everyone nearby laughed, except for McLaggen and his friends. He angrily served himself steak and kidney pie along with mashed potatoes and buttered peas. However, he barely touched his plate, ranting to Aubrey and Abercrombie about how Alexia must have cheated. And by the time they finished and went up to Gryffindor Tower, he had already gone into great detail regarding his theories for how she must have hoodwinked the Whomping Willow.

X

It was Remus' first day out of the hospital wing since a particularly rough full moon. He along with Mary, Lily, Ellory Abbott, and a few of their art club friends worked diligently on Christmas presents and ornaments.

Ellory adjusted her painting smock. "Did you lot hear about what happened to Davey Gudgeon?"

Lily paused, a paintbrush in her hand. "No. What happened?"

Remus gestured to a gardenia as he dipped flowers in a scent-preserving potion for a pressed flower bookmark. "Phoebe, could you pass me that Gardenia, please?" The room emitted an unusual odor as various projects dried on racks.

Phoebe handed Remus the flower. "Here you go. And yeah, I heard something about that! I heard that McLaggen dared him to go touch the Whomping Willow and poor Davey got hit. McLaggen said that he'd be Davey's friend if he touched it. "

"Git," A brunette Ravenclaw second year said.

Remus' heart-shaped face went pale. The flower fell from his hand. 'What?'

"I was there when McGonagall brought him in. It banged him up rather badly, it did," A tall, black Gryffindor third year boy piped in from the other table. He worked on a snowman ornament that glistened as if it was made of real snow.

Remus felt sick to his stomach as he pictured tiny Davey Gudgeon covered head to toe in bruises. 'This is all my fault.' "Is he going to be alright?"

"Course he'll be all right. Madame Pomfrey can heal anything," Phoebe said.

Remus' mouth was dry. "I sure hope so."

They all continued to work on their projects. While the others chatted away, Remus attempted to appear focused on his pressed flowers, but his mind raced with fear and guilt. Mary looked over at him as she glazed a mug that would keep tea and cocoa hot. "You all right there, Remus?"

"…What?" Remus snapped out of a daze.

"I was just wondering if you were all right over there," Mary asked.

Remus regained composure. "Yeah, I'm all right. Just worried about… that next Potions exam is all." 'And that's true. I'm rubbish at Potions.'

"Don't worry, Remus. I'll help you revise," Lily assured him.

Remus forced a weak smile. "Thanks, Lily."

"Oi Xander," Mary said gently from across the gap between the tables.

Xander looked up from his snowman ornament. "Yeah?"

"When you have a moment, could you please help me with curing the glaze on my mug?" Mary asked.

"Yeah, bring it here and I'll show you," Xander said. Mary joined him at his table with her mug in hand.

X

Remus knocked on Professor McGonagall's office door the next morning. "Come in," Professor McGonagall said from behind the door.

He yawned as he opened the wooden door and stepped inside her office, which was connected to her living quarters. She stopped twisting her black hair up into a bun as she studied him. "Lupin, is everything all right?" Her long, sleek black hair fell down her back.

"Yeah, it's just... umm... I was just worried…." He rubbed his eyes as he trailed off.

She resumed her normally brisk tone. "You're worried about Davey Gudgeon. I trust you heard about what happened." A bottle of Sleekeazy's hair potion sat on the table.

Remus' pointed jaw dropped. "How'd you know?"

She looked in the mirror as she resumed styling her hair in a bun. "I've become quite… intuitive over the years." Sunlight glimmered through the frosted windows.

"Oh. Well… is he… is he going to be all right?" Remus fidgeted with his hands.

"Yes, he received a black eye and some gashes from the tree, but he will be all right. Madame Pomfrey says that he will be out of the hospital wing today."

"I just…I feel awful. It was…you know…"'…my fault.' Remus looked at the ground.

"You think it was your fault."

"…Well… yes." Remus bit his lip.

"It was not your fault, Lupin. You understand me?" She peered down her sharp nose at him.

"But the Whomping Willow.…" Remus started.

"Lupin, listen to me. You did not make Gudgeon attempt something as foolish as touching the Whomping Willow. You did not make McLaggen promise him friendship in exchange for touching The Whomping Willow. … Gudgeon was foolish enough to believe him, and none of that is your fault."

His voice sounded as hollow and small as he felt. "But the Whomping Willow's only there because of me."

Professor McGonagall's stern expression bore into him. "The Whomping Willow is there because of your condition. And that… most certainly… is not your fault."

X

Marlene's overwhelming feeling of melancholy matched the dreary, icy cold morning. She walked with Mary, Alexia, and Lily down to breakfast as they chatted animatedly about their plans to help Hagrid tend to the Christmas trees and to go tobogganing on the grounds. McLaggen scowled at Alexia as he, Aubrey, and Abercrombie passed the four girls in the corridor. Mary, Lily, and Alexia burst out laughing in response. However, Marlene was too tired and preoccupied with thoughts and questions about her late sister Catriona to notice him.

Mary looked back as Marlene approached Nearly Headless Nick, the Gryffindor ghost, near the Great Hall's entrance. "Marlene, you coming?" Mary's black witch's hat was affixed atop her head.

"You go on ahead. I'll just be a moment," Marlene yawned.

Mary studied her for a moment. "…You all right?"

"Yeah, I'm all right.… Just tired," Marlene said.

Mary raised the inner corners of her eyebrows. "You sure?"

"Really, I'm all right. I'll just be a moment. Save me a seat."

"…All right." Mary caught up with Alexia and Lily in the Great Hall.

'It's all right. You can do this. He's always been nice,and happy to help Gryffindors. He's not like that awful Bloody Baron. … Just remember, he doesn't like being called Nearly Headless Nick. He likes Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington. … Sir Nicholas… de Mimsy… Porpington… Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington.' Marlene took a deep breath before she approached him. "Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington?"

"Yes?" He looked inquiringly at her.

"You're a ghost, so you've… you've… died." 'Of course he knows he died! Now he probably thinks I'm a bloody idiot.' The window panes were covered in frost.

"Yes, my dear. I died," Nearly Headless Nick said mournfully.

"What is it like, now you've umm…" 'I hope I don't sound rude.'

He raised his ghostly eyebrows. "What is it like now that I have died?"

She hesitated, her voice small. "... Yes.… Do you umm… feel any… any pain?"

"No, I do not feel anything. I can barely taste anything either. Food has to be rotting in order for me to taste it," He sounded wistful.

'That sounds disgusting.' "I was just wondering cause um… my little sister died just before I came to Hogwarts, and um…" She fought back tears as she felt a warm breeze. 'Where did that come from?'

"You were wondering what it is like for her now that she has gone on," Nearly Headless Nick said knowingly.

"Yes, she… she was so sick and frail and in pain all the time. She couldn't run and play like the rest of us, and I was wondering what it's like for her now. … It's just… today is … I suppose it was… her birthday, so I've been thinking about it more, you know?" 'Is it still her birthday? Or I suppose… maybe it was her birthday?'

He gave her a look full of sympathy. "Well, I do not know what it is like to go on, but I do know that I do not feel any pain. I reckon that she does not either and that she gets to run and play all she wants now."

'I hope so.' "You reckon?" Marlene asked hopefully.

"Yes, I do. I am told that what is next is supposed to be wondrous, and that it is not the end. I was just too cowardly to go on. I feared that it was the end, you see. I have heard rumors that ghosts can go on, but I do not know."

"Do you… do you think you could give her a message for me? Her name's Catriona Heather McKinnon. It's just… I was a horrible sister to her when she was alive and I… and I just… I just want her to know that I'm sorry and that I love her." Marlene wiped tears from her electric blue eyes as the largest gust of warm air she had felt that morning wrapped her in a hug. And at that moment, she felt as warm as if it were summer time.

He gave her a sad, empathetic look. "…I am sorry, my dear, but I cannot. It does not work like that. … But for what it is worth, I think she already knows."

The highlights in her strawberry blonde hair were more pronounced than usual in the sudden sunlight. "You think so?"

He nodded. "Yes, my dear. I do."

"You said you reckon she's able to run and play all she wants?" She pictured Catriona tobogganing down snowy hillsides, something she had never been able to do when she was alive.

"Yes, I do. … I will deliver your message if I ever do go on. How does that sound?" Nearly Headless Nick suggested.

"That would be lovely. Thank you." She sniffled.

X

The Christmas Spirit was alive in the castle as Severus and Lily practiced for his next Gobstones Meet. The windowsills were covered in snow, as were the grounds and the mountains outside. After staring silently at the game for several moments, Severus spoke. "...I don't like it when, you know… when you… when you hang around with… with… with that lot." He avoided Lily's eyes as he adjusted the collar of his smock-like shirt.

A sixth year boy and girl poked their heads in the classroom. "Oh… sorry. We didn't know anyone was umm…. using this room," The boy said as the girl giggled.

Lily furrowed her brows as she picked up a game piece. "That lot, as in Marlene, Alexia, Mary, Peter, and Remus?" She wore an emerald green turtleneck sweater and a deep red corduroy, high-waisted mini skirt over her wool black tights and Mary Janes.

"Guess we'll have to find somewhere else. Won't we?" The girl pouted. "But we had better find something soon. I'm feeling particularly randy."

Severus nodded. "Yeah. And Abbott and … her friends." He looked down his hooked nose at the Gobstones board as a bitter wind rattled the windows.

The boy smirked. "Good. I like it when you're feeling randy. … But be patient, you little minx. We'll find something soon." They left.

Lily did not know what to make of this. 'Now he has a problem with Ellory? How could anyone not like Ellory?' "They're my friends, Sev." She spoke in a cool tone as she put down her game piece.

His face darkened as he followed suit. "I thought I was your friend." He wore an oversized, smocklike shirt and black trousers.

"You are my friend, and they're my friends too. Just like I'm your friend and Avery and Mulciber and their friends are also your friends." She adjusted her holly berry earrings.

"Yeah, but I've known you longer." His greasy black hair hung in curtains on either side of his face as he looked down at the game.

'What?' "So we should both give up our friends, since we've known each other longer?" She adjusted her red and green plaid headband.

Severus avoided her eyes. "No, that's not what I… I'm not saying we should… it's just… I don't like these new friends of yours."

"But whyever not?"

"Well, I just mean… I don't think they're good for you. They're friends with Potter and Black after all."

Her tone was stony. 'He cannot be serious.' "They're not good for me? Are Avery and Mulciber good for you? I would hardly call you laughing when they stepped on the back of Stebbins' robes and made him fall down the stairs just because he's a Muggleborn good. … And besides, Marlene and Alexia grew up with Potter. It's like he's their brother. And Mary's friends with practically everyone."

"Didn't Shacklebolt try to touch the Whomping Willow? And didn't she do that with Potter and Black?!" His voice escalated.

She raised her eyebrows. "Alexia never tried getting me to touch it! And no one else was hurt, were they? It's not like your friends who make Muggleborns fall down the stairs just for being Muggleborns!"

"Davey Gudgeon got hurt!"

She narrowed her eyes. "Davey Gudgeon didn't get hurt cause of Alexia! Davey Gudgeon got hurt because McLaggen is a great, bullying prat who told him that he'd be friends with him if he touched it!"

He blustered. "I uh... uh... I just mean…"

Lily's tone was stony. "What do you mean, then? You're certainly not saying it." Hagrid's heavy footfalls could be heard in the corridors as he brought in the first large Christmas tree to decorate the Great Hall.

"It's just... I just... Oh, Never mind. Forget it." Severus scowled.