March 23, 2019 - 08:32 pm
My grandmother knocks on the door. She has a telegram for me. I check it: that's Klaus. The message starts with "My father died, please come and stay for a while", and then gets lost in words that I don't understand. I sigh. Great. I sigh again. Ok. *Crack!* Through a tear of blue light, I split space-time right where I am, and I disappear from the the living room, leaving the TV on.
I've known Klaus for – let me count – ten years. He often led me on a merry dance, way too often. But this time it's not his fault (at least I hope). He's that kind of friend with whom you remake the world on Saturday evenings, with whom you shared the best laughs and the worst bullshit. One of those friends who sometimes, often, require your literal support with the strength of your arms. Often. Fortunately, I don't have many friends like him or many friends at all. Quite simply, I don't really care.
*Crack!*
I reappear on the edge of Klaus's room's window in Hargreeves Mansion. This is our usual meeting spot when he hangs around here because he couldn't find another place, really as a last resort. I think the last time was three years ago. I look inside. I see him slumped on his bed, his body contorted like a rag doll. He has his bad-day face and he looks like he hasn't slept in days. However, he must have heard me coming, because his eyes roam the window with jerky movements, as if he's expecting someone to jump out at him at any moment. And maybe he is, considering that 'jumping' is exactly what I do through space.
"Hey there, Rin", he says.
"Sorry to bother you so late, but..."
His words get lost on the crumpled sheet. In fact, he probably never intended to finish that sentence. I jump onto the floor and I look around. I's a disastrous mess, with disgusting bottles, clothes and tissues strewn everywhere. Oh. My. God. It's even worst than last time. There is a rotten sandwich. Three weeks old I would say, maybe even a month. I walk towards the bed and check the hospital wristband on Klaus's forearm, where the Umbrella tatoo is too.
"Rehab? Emergency room?" I ask but I have my answer already.
He groans and sits up, rubbing his face with his right hand.
"Yeah, both", he sighs. "It's been...hard.
I stand next to the bed and let his hand fall limply back onto the bed, as he continues.
"At first I felt euphoric but now it all comes back to me like a boomerang.".
He looks up at me and winces before turning away again.
"I tried... I really did. But sometimes I just..."
He lets out a frustrated huff and stares down at the ground. "Have you heard about what happened?"
"I watched TV", I say. "Everyone did."
I sigh.
"Do you know how... Do you know 'how' it happened?"
Klaus shakes his head as a sign of total ignorance. Good. Obviously, he has nothing to do with it, which would almost relieve me.
"No. I have no idea. I... It pisses me off so much to have to be there, I fucking hate this place."
His voice cracks slightly but he takes a deep breath.
"Can you stay here with me?" he says with eyes calling exaggeratedly to pity.
"Please..."
I look around me again, and my face perhaps involuntarily expresses how little the proposition tempts me. I hate when Klaus is down. I hate it. And this time, it's not a little brief tiny down. It's a big heavy gigantic down, and he's got some reasons.
"How long?"
"I... I don't know. A couple of days? A week? Honestly I don't know."
He looks away and mutters under his breath.
"Sorry. My life's a train wreck, I can barely tell the days apart anymore."
I sigh again but pat his back. He clearly likes gesture of encouragement and when people pay attention to him. Not always for the best.
Before you ask, there is no 'love' between Klaus and me. Not that kind of love anyway. But yeah. A long-lasting kind of affection. Maybe because of everything we've been through, maybe because of this damn wet-puppy look of his - but now, holly-cow, when was his last shower?
"Nah, don't be sorry", I say. "Shit happens. But you know the worst part?"
"What?" Klaus looks up pathetically, as if expecting another slap. He's clearly struggling to maintain steady eye contact.
"What's the worst part?"
"This house is going to be crowded again".
"Yeah," he sighs. "I know. I hate that. I don't fucking want to be here, I'm such an idiot for coming."
He ends up standing up and sitting on the edge of the bed, more or less with dignity.
"Why does this family always have to ruin my peace? All I wanted was to find a quiet place to chill, to hang out with you, listen to good old retro sounds..."
He exhales with frustration.
"... but no. The Universe forbids me from finding any kind of happiness, right?
He almost shouted this question. I shrug.
"Life is rollercoaster, and the brakes are broken".
I sit down on the bed. I don't even have my stuff with me. I live with my grandmother and absolutely all my things are there.
"I'll go home and get my toothbrush later".
Yeah I guess I just said 'yes' to stay for a while. Klaus's eyes light up like Christmas for a while, and he chuckles.
"Well, I appreciate it," he says as he resumes an austere expression.
"Besides, it's not like I'm staying here by choice either. I hate this bloody mansion. "
He waves his arm at the ceiling.
"Too many memories... and reminders of how I've wasted my life, here".
He never goes into details. I know he won't say more this time either.
"And I'm not even talking about people".
I look around me. Beyond the mess, each object in this small room is telling stories about Klaus's life here. I didn't realize at first. And now I can hear many sounds in the house, and I guess that some of his siblings already started to gather here for 'spending time all together'.
"Where will I sleep if I stay?"
"Wherever", Klaus shrugs.
"There's like 'a hundred' spare rooms in this stupid place. You can get a room if you want, or crash there on the floor, I don't mind but...".
He rolls his eyes.
"Just...stay here with me. Please. Please?"
This time I huff in exasperation.
"I said yes. Even if I warn you, I will have to go to work sometimes."
I have to work tomorrow, even though it's Sunday. Sometimes it annoys me that Klaus is so out of touch with reality.
"And I'll take one of 'the hundred spare rooms'. I refuse to spend my nights with your dirty socks. But yeah, I'll stay, okay."
"Thanks, Rin", he says, "I know this is probably not easy for you..."
His voice clearly indicates that he is still completely stoned.
"Anyway..."
For a second, he looks like he's about to change the subject. But then he suddenly gives me a small, grateful hug.
"Ah, Klaus I'm not your teddy bear!".
I grumble, but then I look at him. Honestly, if I refuse to do this for him on the day his father died, I would feel guilty. I shake my head, but I don't push him away.
"Okay, okay, but don't get used to it."
Finally, he reluctantly lets me go.
"You're the best, Rin. I know I can't be easy..."
"Indeed".
I smile though.
"Do you feel sad or what? About your father".
We never really talked about Reginald Hargreeves. Mostly, what I know, I learnt it by other means than Klaus's voice. Today, that man is gone. And I'm unsure whether it's a bereavement or a celebration. Klaus's jaw tightens and he shakes his head in a disturbed way, avoiding my gaze.
"Yeah I should be sad, I know".
His voice is quiet and strained.
"He was my father. I'm...I'm angry...Relieved. And...really, really confused."
He takes a deep breath, clearly struggling with a range of conflicting emotions.
"I know how I'm supposed to feel at the moment. But I also kind of want to burst with joy".
He chuckles, but not for long.
"The worst part is having to stay here, really".
As he says this, I tune my head toward the door and the noises of the house. I can hear voices coming from the corridor. A female voice. And a male one.
"I'm sure you and your siblings have this weird feeling in common today. Well, most of them".
Klaus stiffens to the sound of approaching footsteps. He is about to say something, but...
"Klaus?"
The female voice rings out in the corridor outside.
"I heard you coming earlier. Are you here?"
Klaus looks nervous now, and he whispers:
"Allison. Always the first one, damn, nothing ever changes, right?"
On the other side of the door, an indistinct voice whispers something to her, and Klaus adds, his jaws clenched:
"Shit, Diego".
I raise my shoulders. I don't care if they come. If I have to stay here for a week, they will eventually have to deal with me in the house. Sooner or later. I never met Allison. Klaus barely talks about her, but I read the tabloids at the hairdresser from time to time like everyone else. It doesn't make me shy.
"Klaus?" Allison calls out again.
She sounds a bit desperate, as if she expects the worst.
"Can you answer me, damn it?"
Klaus grips my arm nervously but it is clear that he is not going to answer anything at all.
"Yeah he's here", I say it loud enough for Allison to hear from the other side of the door. Then much lower:
"Klaus you're hurting my arm, go easy on me".
The door opens and Allison appears, letting out a sigh of relief.
"Thank goodness you're okay," she says, the urgency in her voice fading away.
However, Klaus's face and expression clearly show that he is far from 'okay' now. I stay there, sitting on the bed, since I cannot move with him pulling me down. Diego enters the room as well. When I meet Allison's gaze, everything about me expresses my apologies. I'm sorry for being here on a terrible familial moment. Sorry for the state Klaus is in.
"I'm Rin".
This is by far the most helpful thing I can say, right now.
"Hey", Allison says with a slight smile.
She saw Klaus's face, and his expression returned to worry. Diego, on the other hand, looks at everything on the ground with deep criticism. He then walks up to Klaus and places a hand on his chest, with precise and almost professional gestures.
"Klaus, what happened to you?"
I wait for a few seconds. And since he's still sulking, I sigh and speak for him:
"Post-rehab return to reality"
But there is evidence that he took 'things' right away after being out. Silently, I even suspect he may have had an overdose and somehow came back from it. Allison and Diego both let out a soft sigh of disappointment. Diego lets go of Klaus's shoulder and crosses his arms.
"Frankly, that's his problem. We don't really care what he does, this idiot."
But Allison doesn't take it quite the same way.
"Seriously, Klaus?"
her tone is firm and stern.
"And you've already relapsed?"
Klaus rolls his eyes, trying to avoid her gaze.
"Don't lecture me about something you don't understand", he says in a whisper.
I don't talk anymore. I am the displaced one in that house. Today more than ever. Diego frowns as about to speak, but Allison quickly held up a hand to silence him.
"Klaus", she says, her tone artificially soothing.
"I...I know it's hard for you being sober. But damn it's not at all the right time to do this to us! And you can't keep living like this."
Perhaps she realized that her reasons for yelling at him were selfish. I say nothing. I can see that Allison and Diego don't understand why their brother is constantly high, so I shut up and stay still. Allison has a point with her last statement anyway. But I have good reason to think that Klaus isn't listening, and won't even remember seeing her, tomorrow. He sighs loudly, clearly overwhelmed by this sudden family tide, and closes his eyes as if he's trying to suppress the urge to cry.
"I'm... I'm ~trying~", he says, his voice trembling slightly.
"You understand nothing. You... It makes me feel like I'm failing everyone all the time".
I look at him. Some other day, he would have made a joke, a prank or anything, to escape this conversation. Crazy humor is often his shell. But today he's not doing that. I feel a bit of pity for him, because this is unprecedented.
"Listen", I say to his siblings.
"Klaus asked for me to stay here for a while. I know this is not the best moment but... if I can be of any help about him and if you all don't mind... I will stay..."
Allison and Diego both turn to look at me, their expressions torn, and I know what's on their mind. On one hand, they don't want me to stay: after all, this is supposed to be an austere family reunion, not a house party... but on the other hand, they can't deny the fact that I'm one of the only people who can force their brother to stay 'somewhat afloat' while they're here. After a few seconds of tense silence, Allison eventually nods and Diego lets out a heavy sigh.
"Fine," she says as she stands up.
"Try to get him on his feet for the eulogy, because Luther will definitely want to make one. And we'll have dinner in thirty minutes, Mom cooked."
This invitation sounds more like a threat. I nod as I try to make Klaus sit by himslef, without the use of my shoulder anymore.
"Thank you. I... I won't be a bother".
"You're not the bother", she retorts, but her voice is softer when talking to me.
"Klaus is. Diego, get me some cigarettes."
Diego walks over to the bedside table and picks up a pack of cigarettes, offering one to Allison who lights it with a matchstick and takes a long drag. Klaus doesn't even notice that they are his. My lips turn into a small, forced and sad smile.
"When is... the funeral speech?", I ask very cautiously.
Allison sighs a deep breath and her head tilts towards the ceiling.
"Well, it was supposed to be tomorrow", she says after a few seconds of silence.
"But... I'm not sure anymore. It's all going to depend on this idiot's ability to stand up."
I nod and I turn to Klaus. Unfortunately, as far as Klaus is concerned, 'being on his feet' often means 'being high enough to not be down'." And unexpectedly, in the middle of the slight silence that settles in his messy room, we hear him say:
"Fine. I'll get sober for the little funeral speech".
His voice almost too quiet to hear.
I was expecting many answers, but not this one. And as Allison and Diego step to leave the room, I say to them:
"And I'll manage to take him downstairs for dinner."
Allison and Diego both look at me for a few seconds, then Allison nods and takes another drag from her cigarette.
"Alright, let us know if you need any help."
Her disillusionment with her brother is so complete that it could materialize into stone. She turns to head out the door and Diego follows her without a word. As soon as they are gone, though, Klaus relaxes significantly and his attitude is even mischievous.
"It's brilliant, what you told them", he says and I look at him. He's such a little bastard.
"That I'm going to be your caretaker for a week?".
Klaus lets out a little sigh, both amused and curiously lucid.
"A caretaker, eh? That's... not that far from the truth, actually".
He chuckles softly.
"You promised Allison to get sober".
I don't know if Klaus realizes it, but now he will have to stand by his words.
"Listen I can be a caretaker, but... there are things over which I am powerless."
"Come on", he interjects, "your power is super cool. 'Crack!', you disappear from here. 'Crack!', you reappear over there. Crack!', you collect the burgers at In'n'out. 'Crack!' You're a freakin' instant emo delivery service."
"I'm not emo."
I sigh. I wasn't talking about 'that' power, but Klaus' neurons are unplugged plugs. Yet after a moment, he seems to understand as his expression switches to a more anxious one.
"Yeah I know what I'll get. They will be... everywhere."
We both know what he's talking about. Who. And Klaus' problem is not only the dead that he can see but also the memories haunting him. He shakes his head, now looking away.
"They don't understand. Allison, Diego, none of them. They never tried."
"Yeah I can't understand either", I say.
Klaus knows that I don't need to understand it in its full extent to be supportive. I'll probably never 'understand', no. And it breaks my heart. Maybe his siblings will see me as a bad friend, but even if I don't condone Klaus being on drugs, the truth is that I don't blame him either, because I understand the reasons behind. But I look away, because it seems that the concern and empathy in my gaze make him even more uncomfortable and ashamed of himself. He takes a shaky breath.
"I... just don't know how else to cope with this."
I just stay theres, sitting next to Klaus on his unkempt bed, looking downward in the same direction as him. I don't know how else he could cope with it either.
He whispers :
"Tonight, they probably won't rest in peace...".
It looks like he's talking to himself, and he frowns.
"I'll try not to burden you with all this."
I shake my head with a little disillusionment.
"You telegrammed me, I came, I'm okay to be caught in that spiral.
The corner of Klaus's mouth turns upward, his expression becoming indescribable.
"Thanks, Rin," he whispers, as I finally stand up among the clutter. I turn to face him and pull him up onto his feet as well.
"I told you. That's my true power: to be able to stand you."
I laugh slightly because of the double meaning of my own words, and I see that he's about to start making stupid jokes again.
"There's no way it's a better one! 'Crack!', you jump to the convenience store downstairs. 'Crack!', you bring back the beers..."
He lets out a small laugh, takes off his jacket and slangs it over the back of his chair. Then he rubs his eyes and turns to face me again, wearing a somewhat pensive expression.
"My brother Five...he could...he could do that as well."
I put my hands in my pockets.
"Yeah, you already told me so, and that he left ages ago. But you were high at that time, and you didn't explain how".
I shake my head. I always knew that one day Klaus would make these kinds of connections. Perhaps he needed to be sober to finally think. Better late than never. He scratches his head.
"I know I've always been too high to ask you, but... how come you can do this?", he says softly.
"You're not a...not a Hargreeves, see?"
"How...how can you preform that trick?"
"What trick?".
*Crack!* I move back, and there is another distortion of blue light. I jump through the space of the bedroom to stand on his bed, looking down at him and pretending to be offended. I let out a little laugh, but it fades away.
"Indeed, I'm not a Hargreeves. Hopefully."
Klaus shakes his head, half-laughing, and stares up at me.
"That means your powers are... I mean, how can you do that?
"And you, how can you see those ghosts?"
I shrug as I sit back cross-legged on the bed.
"You just can. It's similar to gravity. Gravity is a fact, and so is this".
That's a foolish question. Nevertheless, I gaze at him with honesty in my brown eyes.
"I was simply born on the same day as all of you."
Klaus's expression changes as he comprehends, his mind struggling to recollect impossible memories. He looks down at all the empty bottles on the ground for a few seconds before looking back up at me.
"So you are really like us... exactly like us..."
I look at him. Finally having him more sober is something unexpectedly pleasant, although I am uncertain how long it will last.
"Yes. But no."
I roll up my left sleeve, and I reveal my forearm: fair-skinned, spotless, without any umbrella tattoo. Fourty-three children were born on October 1st, 1989, from mothers unaware they were pregnants before, and Reginald Hargreeves adopted seven of them. However, I was never adopted by him, and that makes a pretty big difference in our lives indeed
His face turns to a somewhat solemn expression as his gaze fixates on my bare forearm. His mouth slightly agape, he lightly brushes his finger over my untattooed skin, once. Though he has witnessed this countless times before, he never truly pondered it until now. Now he looks at it just as if something is missing on my skin. I know how tattoos feel. I have plenty too. But this one, I know it pierced his skin and made it itch like fire more than anything else.
"Where...where do you come from?", he finally asks, leaving me astonished. In our ten years together, he has never touched upon this topic.
"I know, I know", he says before I can respond.
"I never asked. I'm a fucking shame."
I'm seeing Klaus in a completely new light today, as I've never witnessed him being this paradoxically high and lucid, even when saying he's a 'fucking shame'. Finally, today he's showing genuine interest in me and he's not complaining anymore about his life being shit?
"I was born in France", I say.
"In a half-Vietnamese family. They moved here when I was five. No one attempted... you know, to 'buy me', back in 1989, I suppose."
Klaus isn't aware of this, but I've left behind the name 'Marine'. I notice him absorbing my response, and he nods slowly.
"I... I see...", he says kind of softly.
"Your grandmother doesn't really like me, eh? AAnd that implies that everyone in your circle was... well... ordinary."
"Yeah... it was pretty 'ordinary', I suppose. Except for this strange pregnancy denial. I mean, I only had my mom and my granny, you know. They both worked hard to ensure I had a good life. I never lacked anything. Seriously. Yeah."
Certainly a much 'simpler' life compared to being a Hargreeves. I look at Klaus, because today his father is dead. And all this past is behind him too. His gaze is lost, I can't tell where, and he finally whispers:
"I wish I had your life. I really do".
His headache seems to be coming back. I do not say anything. He will never understand it either. I let him get drunk on his dreams, for once. My eyes briefly linger on the umbrella tattoo on his left forearm, contrasting its absence on mine. My heart aches for Klaus, for the entire Hargreeves family. I'm sorry for their loss, today. And sorry to feel that it also means a kind of freedom now. I squeeze his hand gently.
"Klaus, you are not a fucking shame anymore when you are half-sober."
I smile, as more noises are heard in the household.
"It's too bad that it won't last."
Notes:
You got it now, I chose to inject Rin into the plot of The Umbrella Academy season 1, from this starting point at the begining of episode 1. What if some events seen in the series were actually caused by some of Rin's actions in deleted scene? Let's see what we do with this!
Have you noticed that phones are deliberately absent from the TUA series?
Chronological markers: this scene fits like a deleted scene from season 1 episode 1, around 10:00.
Any comment will make my day!