M-rate story includes mention of death and grief
after volume 10 of the light novel.
This was the start of February, the winter in his full intensive chill, and the arid north wind blew by, making the clubroom windows rattle.
the aftermath of Miura's request and the marathon leaves us with a relatively peaceful time, if either with no rumors or awkward situations in class or club.
although with Valentine's Day closing by, the peaceful days would soon come to an end, Yukinoshita reading from her book as usual, and Yuigahama fiddling with her phone, and talking about their day, which they try to include me every few sentences, and with the absence of the bratty junior, I can say my time in the club is quite enjoyable.
after the incident in the infirmary, I became a little more conscious of Yukinoshita, with her also looking my way more than usual, it seemed mutual, I would lie if I didn't find the situation unknown yet not uncomfortable.
my musings stop when I hear my phone ring, looking at my screen I find that my dad is calling me, I don't remember a single time my parents called me during school hours.
"Hikigaya-kun, during club hours please refrain from talking on the phone with Komachi, I'm sure she can text you just fine", Yukinoshita says in her regular voice, while the words seem judgmental, her tone lacks any hostility.
"It's a call from my dad, I gotta answer him", the rarity of dad call leaves me no question of the importance of the call.
I picked up the call.
'hey Dad, what going up?'
'Hachiman, your grandfather Akira passed away an hour ago'
I froze for a few seconds, I knew Grandpa had a few health issues, however, none of them were severe.
'Hachiman you still there', my dad spoke with a worried voice
'Yeah, I'm OK...when the ceremony will start?', my family is very traditional, as proof was my given name, the god of war, I remember that in the Shinto religion, the funeral ceremony must start as soon as possible, and for my dad is single child, and grandfather has no living siblings, there no need to delay the ceremony, therefore good chance that it would be today.
'around 4 pm today, we just finished the preparations, please return home after your club, I already picked up Komachi from school and notified her about this.'
'how does she take this ?', I know Komachi is quite attached to Grandpa, when we were younger we used to spend our summer vacation in our grandparent's house.
'she took it just fine, she still is emotional, but she stopped crying', I need to talk with her before the ceremony.
'Hachiman, if you want you can tell your friends about this, if they wish to come tell them they will welcome'
'All alright Dad, see you later'
after the call ended, I glanced to my left to see my clubmates stopped what they doing and looking at me.
"Hikigaya-kun ,are you alright?"
I don't know how to answer her, did I want to invite them? if there are people I want to invite it must be them.
"my grandfather just passed away, my dad told me to return home in preparation for the wake"
"Ohh, Hikki...", Yuigahama got up from her chair, and got near me, putting her hand on my shoulders.
"I will return the key to the teacher lounge, it would be okay if I come to the wake?", Yukinoshita asked me, rarely have I seen her so vulnerable.
"Yeah you can come, my dad said there's no problem "
"Hikki, make sure to text me the location, see you later Yukinon!", Yuigahama leaves the clubroom.
with Yuigahama leaving, an awkwardness filled the clubroom air, Yukinoshita seemed to like to say something, only to fidget in her chair, I had little idea what was on her mind.
I get up from my chair and walk to her side, I pull my phone from the blazer pocket and hand it to her, "Yukinoshita, put your number in my phone"
seem I had the right idea, she took my phone without any remark and typed her number. because of the news about my grandpa passing away, or just because of my request to the girls after the council election, Yukinoshita became more civil, yet closer to me, if it was the start of the year I would get a few remarks like im some deviant, with her afraid for her the reason, this change is for good.
After typing her number into my phone and returning it to me, I saw her contact info, with a regular Yukino Yukinoshita name without any weird symbols as Yuigahama name.
move to the club door only to feel a slight resistance as I move, I look to my right only to see Yukinoshita holding my blazer sleeve, I turn slightly to look at her.
"Hikigaya-kun, I'm sorry for your loss", she said with a weak yet clear voice.
"thank you", I said to her with a slight smile, with that, she removed her hand letting me leave.
after going down to stairs and moving to the bicycle area, I started paddling my bike and heading home, I figured that the few next days would be active.
in the Shinto religion, the mourning and funeral customs follow the 'twenty steps', starting with the Kichu-fuda, meaning the wake itself, also called 'the passing of the night'., usually the wake is held as soon after the death as possible, during this time grief and sorrow can be expressed and friend of the family gather to offer support to the wear only black clothing from head to toe, while men will wear a black suit with a white shirt and black tie or traditional clothes, women wear black dresses or kimonos.
when I arrived home, I found Komachi still in her room preparing for the wake, and Mom preparing food for the visitors,
the wake itself will commence in Grandpa's house, and Dad had already gone to their house for the first few steps in the mourning ceremony, because me and Komachi little young to participate in this steps, my parents decide to 'spare' us from this.
the first few steps will be fulfilled by Dad and Grandma.
the first step is matsugo no mizu, the washing of the lips of the dead. a close relative wets the lips of the deceased, giving its last taste of water.
the second step is the YUKAN, meaning washing the deceased with several family members may be involved in this, I don't think I would manage to participate in this step, let alone Komachi, touching a dead person is one thing, watching my grandfather without clothes is another thing entirely.
the third step is the announcement of the death, although it is a report from another kind, it is kind a of prayer to the spirit world at the family shrine, also called kiyu hokoku.
the fourth step is makura naoshi no gi, the pillow decoration, placing Grandpa in such a way is head propped up on a pillow while facing north, food will be offered to the gods, and for this step, Dad waits for us to arrive at Grandpa house.
mom is busy with preparing the food, and I find she already prepared my clothes for the wake, and leave them on my bed, I decide to take a shower before wearing them.
after wearing the clothes I sit in the sopa near the kitchen, waiting for Mom to finish with the food, truth be told, I'm not in the mood to watch TV, so I just sit silently, after a few minutes I ask her.
"Mom, what is the address of Grandpa's house?", remembering to text the address to the girls.
"what for?", Mom asked me, still busy in the kitchen, not facing me.
"I invite a few classmates to the wake, I need to text them the address".
"is it the clubmate Komachi told me about?"
"Yeah, that them"
"I will finish with the food and wait for Komachi to finish preparing, A friend of your father from work will pick up the food at Grandpa's house, and you and Komachi will drive afterward, there will be 2 free sit so I can pick them up from their house if they struggle to reach there, how many friends you invite?"
"just 2 people", not sure about to word friend, we have never been clear about the relationship between us.
"just ask them to be prepared, we will drive to them"
"Sure...", I don't know what Komachi told her about them, I'm not sure she even knows these two are girls, I hope her teasing will reduce due to the wake, or at least postpone.
after a few minutes, Komachi left her room and sat near me.
"Hey...", she said with a low voice, while leaning her head on my shoulder.
"How are you taking this?", I asked her.
"A little upset, it just... sudden, grandpa talked to me on the phone just a week ago...", she said, I could see a few tears in the corner of her eye, crying was a clear possibility when she will see the body in few hours...
"did you invite your friends to accompany you during the wake?"
"Dad told me I should not invite them, too young to be involved he said..., did you ask Yukino-chan and Yui-chan?"
"Yeah, I invited them, we will pick them up on the way"
"it would be funny seeing Mom finding out that both of your friends are girls", I see your smirk Komachi, I need to make sure she doesn't make a 'record' of this event.
after texting the girls, and waiting for confirmation, we leave home to pick up Yukinoshita first, when we arrive at her building complex we park near the entrance.
"wow Hachiman, your friend's family sure are rich", you have no idea mom, I wonder what would be her reaction if I said that it was just one of the houses of the Yukinoshita family.
I texted Yukinoshita that we arrived, only for her to call me.
"Hello Hikigaya-kun, I on my way downstairs"
"Yukinoshita you don't have to call me, just text is fine "Mom already with an astonished look on her face, apparently she heard Yukinoshita.
"I just making sure you are aware I got your message, it's the polite thing to do in this situation, after a few months I expected you to know that..."
this is the first time I have picked up someone other than Komachi, I wouldn't know what is the polite thing to do.
"okay I got it, I'm new to this thing..", I can hear you giggling Yukinoshita, I can see she arrived at the lobby so I hand it up.
"Hachiman you didn't tell me your friend is a girl!"
"you never asked..."
It's the wrong thing to say as Mom glares at me, from the mirror I can see Komachi's grin grow every second.
"Mom,onii-chan spent his all afternoons this year with her, he even had a hangout with her, only two of them..."
"so is she your girlfriend?", Mom smiled at me, I just looked in my side mirror, and I saw Yukinoshita walking to the car, she wearing a black kimono, and from the look on her from this distance I already it expansive one.
"wow...", Mom said, Yukinoshita moved to the seat behind me.
"hello Hikigaya -kun, Komachi, Hikigaya-san, I'm sorry for your loss.", I can't see her behind me, however, I can imagine she lowered her head as she said these words.
"Yukino-onee-chan!", and Komachi invades her personal safe space with a hug, Yukinoshita seems to understand the situation and indulges her.
"thank you, young lady, my children didn't tell me about your name?"
"my name is Yukino Yukinoshita,hikigaya-san"
I have a bad premonition, as I can see mom with a little smirk on her face.
"Hikigaya-san? Are you talking to me or my children? you already called Komachi by her first name, feel free to call my son Hachiman, and my name is Akane", and here that happened, either Yukinoshita shut down the offer or accepted it.
"I.. it wou-ld be impolite...", Yukinoshita stuttered, it was clear she was uncomfortable with this.
"Mom she not comfortable with this... "I glared at Mom, which she glared back, I don't know where I got the courage, as I steadily looked at her unflinching, which turned her glare into a smile.
"it's o-okay I don't mind, Akane-san"
"you can also drop the honorific, is it okay if I call you Yukino?"
"s-sure i dont mine ,Akane"
with that Mom starts driving to Yuigahama's house, which should take around 25 minutes, and then another 10 minutes to the wake.
"Yukino, when was your first time meeting my son?"
"technically, first time I spoke with hikigaya-kun.."
"Hachiman", mom cut her midway.
"The first time with H-Hachiman was when his homeroom teacher brought him to the club, after extremely cynical work he wrote, with the task to fix his attitude "
this is the first time Yukinoshita said my first name, I have to admit, I much prefer being named like this.
"Hachiman was a little cynic in his early teen years, I already seen improvement, he stopped with his remarks at home"
thanks, Mom, I would appreciate it if you don't share it with my clubmate.
"What are you guys doing in the club, I never heard it until today"
"the club called 'service club' we get requests from clients, which either a student or faculty's members, if it advice or more information gathering help."
"so volunteers club with the more advisory aspect?"
"Mom!, they helped my friend with his request when I asked them, these three are the best!", Komachi, don't think I missed you spew about 'three' in there...
"Hachiman, tell me about your other club mate", of course, Mom didn't miss Komachi's cue.
" isn't talking about people behind their backs immoral?"
"Yuigahama-san is our third member,hachiman also invited her", of course, Yukinoshita did care none about this.
"another girl...", I heard Mom it's weird that I can interact with girls normally. while I'm not a kind 'player', these days my acquaintances usually are girls, with Ziamokuza and Totsuka are exceptions.
now I think about this, in the past year I interacted with girls more than the rest of my life, I will go further and say I interact with girls more than most of my classmates,am I a social outcast?
"These three also visited Destiny Land a month ago,onii-chan didn't show me any photos, did you have any photos Yukino-onee-chan?"
"of course, I take photos, if it depends on Hachiman, he would rather purposely move out the frame, or just sulk in the corner", I don't find any need to take photos, finding it redundant to take them only to forget about them for few years, taking memory that can be used for videos games, on the occasion that important event occurred before me, like fireworks or some natural phenomena, I find storing it in my mind being sufficient.
"I also would like to see them later", mom said
the talk continued with Mom asking Yukino about school and hobbies, intruding when my name came up, taking turns to exit the highway, and entering Yuigahama neighborhood, I sent her a message that we would arrive soon and got an immediate response.
'Yahallo Hikki, I will wait in the driveway', with a quick text.
Yuigahama also wears a black kimono, the different more pale black, without any ornaments like the Yukino one.
she enters the car and sits behind Mom.
"Hello young lady my name is Akane Hikigaya, you can call me by my given name"
"h-hey my name is Yui Yuigahama, nice to meet you!, you can call me Yui", a little flustered by Mom being more direct.
Komachi hugged her with no word, and Yuigahama retaliated with a bone-crushing hug.
without any word we drove to Grandpa's house, I found it weird that mom attitude toward Yuigahama compared to Yukino's, maybe the proximity to the wake space dumped down her need for starting a conversation.
when we arrived at Grandpa's house there were already a few cars parking near the house, even a few parking on the sidewalk.
we enter the house, and most of the people in the house are Dad and Mom's co-workers, preparing the house for the wake, we move to inform Dad about our arrival.
grandma Hana first noticed our arrival.
"Hachiman how are you?", she asked me as she took me in a hug.
"I'm fine grandma, Komachi also taking it decently well"
"Grandma!", Komachi ran for her, and Grandma engulfed her in her arms.
Yukino and Yuigahama also greet Grandma, I am fine with calling Yukinoshita with her given name as I have an excuse, with Yuigahama's mom didn't force me to call her first name, so the first step needs to come from her.
I seemed to miss something, as I saw Grandma particularly drag the two girls inside the house.
"Dad when we start the Makura naoshi no gi?"
"in 15 minutes Hachiman, these two girls our your friends?", Dad said while looking at me in awe
"Yeah both of them my clubmates".I said to him
"Only clubmates?", I flatter for a few seconds at his insinuation.
"Yeah, just clubmates..."
"Sure, I totally believe you..., after the funeral, we need to have the 'talk'", shuddering slightly, I just nod and pace fast to the room corner, trying to avoid continuing this.
I wait for a few minutes, Yukino and Yuigahama return from Grandma's talk, looking down with a visible blush.
"hey, what up wi..."
"Hikki, don't talk.", Yuigahama cut me off, with her blush intensify.
grandma teasing must have taken a toll on both of them, as long it's not me I can live with it.
we started the ritual with me propping up Grandpa's head on the pillow, we decided to not include Komachi in anything that included physical touch, we put Grandpa's favorite food as an offering to the gods, with some ceremonial knife near his right shoulder.
with that start, the fifth step, also called nokan no gi, places the body of the deceased in the coffin, which Dad already organized with the help of our local priest.
the sixth step is kyuzen nikku, a daily food offering to the deceased, that would made twice a day until Grandpa moved to his final resting place, Dad already organized the funeral to start tomorrow at 10:30 it only happened two times till then.
the seventh set is reporting the return of the spirit to the local shrine, dad already handles it by single phone call, this step is also called ubusuna jinja ni kiyu hokokuh.
the eighth step is for the priest to purify the ground used for the gravesite with water and prayer, the step is called bosho batsujo no gi, which is supposed to be finished right now.
the time is 18:00 when the mass of people should arrive to console the family and the official start of the wake.
we wait for the priest to arrive after completing the ninth step, also called kessai, when the priest purifies himself in preparation.
on the tenth step, the start of the wake, also called Tsuya sai, where mourners gather to express condolences to the family and present their offerings to the gods, the shrine, and even the family.
A few neighbors of my grandparents, old friends of the family, and co-workers of my parents arrived, while standing next to my father at the house entrance to greet them, exchanging few words with people I had no idea who they were, or even their name, many of them even father seem to not recognized, none of them seem taken offense.
when the priest arrived, with instruments for the wake, he set them in a designated room for the new shrine, in preparation for the 'tablet ritual', which would be the 11th step, also called senrei sai.
the priest helps the spirit to transfer to a wooden tablet, which also gives the deceased a new name so that the family won't recall his spirit after accidentally after his passing, the name my grandma and dad decided upon is Tsuya.
most of the visitors waited outside the house or in the rooms adjusted to the shrine, Komachi and Yuigahama waited outside, and Yukino sat on the tatami in the room near the shrine, she sat in the corner, which the entrance to the shrine room is not in her point of view, I decided to prank her, or just exploit the new privilege, even so temporary, to call her given name.
"Yukino"
jumping slightly in her seat, just responded with a soft mmhe and small nod, I sit near her with cross legs, not so close for people to speculate about our relationship, and not so far for other people to manage to sit between us.
"you know...I didn't expect you to accept mom suggestion about the given names so easily"
"it is only appropriate to accept the request from the person who moved out of her way to help me, giving me a ride, as someone who are outsider, is above and beyond generous", she said with a slight smile.
"And above all, I already call Komachi by her first name, and calling your mother also by her first name, singling you out by treating you differently doesn't sit well on my mind", she turned to face me
"Also...", else, she looks in any direction other than my eye.
"I find speaking to you informally is quite refreshing".
"I feel the same", Yukino is shorting the previous name, which, however, is better left unsaid.
"other than my family, I think you are the only one I can speak by first name basic", I said to her, which is true, either I call people by their first name and they, on the other hand, keep calling me by last name or inverted.
"I glad to be your first", she said to me with a radiant smile, unconscious to what she just implied. I look at her in shock, maybe it is me being a teenager, but her phrase takes another interpretation on my mind
"Hachiman?", she spoke with a worried tone
"n-nothing, I'm fine"
"hey Yukino...", I try the direct approach, "What grandma ask you girls when we arrived?"
"Mmmh, mostly she asked about how we met, a few questions about school, and a few other things..."
"other things?", Yuigahama's reaction after I asked her to make me think Yukino minimized the importance of these 'things'.
"your grandmother also talked about cooking...", oh now I get it, still don't why you also blushing.
our talk cut midway when Father placed his hand on my shoulder.
"Hachiman, the priest finished with the tablet, Grandma asked for you to stay with her today in this house", I guess I'm staying here till the funeral.
"got it...", I stand up and look at the room, people start to move for the exit, signaling the end of the wake, I offer a hand to Yukino, she seems puzzled as she tilts her head ever so slightly.
"Hachiman?",
"Need help?", she finally got the idea as she took my hand and got up.
we moved for the exit, usually in Shinto religion, in 12 steps the visitors offer presents to the family, and in return, the mourner's side gives small gifts at the end, for us, we give any visitors small packages of homemade chocolate and cookies, this step also called settai.
now that we have only a few minutes till 20:00, most funerals offer food, however, be short notice that was this wake, we reluctantly decided to not include substantial food.
"Hachiman, I will take the girls back to their home, before the funeral I will bring the necessary clothes for you to wear " Mom said, and gave me a quick hug I was nowhere prepared to get leaving me flustered, Yuigahama and Yukino waved to me and left the house.
grandma handed me clothes and asked me to take a shower, and Dad's co-worker will tidy up the house meanwhile.
after the shower I moved near the kitchen, grandma sitting near the table, and there were already a few food boxes for me, Dad, and his coworker who stayed for cleaning.
"Hachiman, tell me about the girls, "Grandma asked, and as the cleaning seemed to be finished and Dad and his coworkers sat on the tables, I already knew I was in for trouble.
Now is 22:30 and I sit on a futon in the inner room of the house, still recovering from one of the most embarrassing, exhausting talks I ever experienced in my life.
start with a talk about grandpa, if is his youth shenanigan, which includes very inappropriate work that in today's time would be called a scam.
and that the most timid part of the conversation, later evolved to talk about his father's first years, from elementary school time his father kept running naked at home, it would be funny if only I found out he did it till he was 10 years old, and later with his teenage years, when he started developing interest in acting, which my grandparents got burnt from it as he made them watch do the play before and after each auditions.
of course, stories about my mother and father before they wed, my father, courting attempts that make middle school me look like Casanova.
stories about my younger years and summer stay with my grandparents, which most of them I can't recall, one that I found ridiculous as they described me as an over-hyper kid, who kept running around and inside the house, usually in the morning.
I know my relationship with my family outside Komachi has been lukewarm in recent years, part of me finds the funeral an opportunity to mend these relationships, although Dad and mom renewed interest in my daily life must have contributed to me bringing the girls to the wake.
which led to the most critical part of the talk, for Grandma kept pestering me about the girls, even suggesting to invite them to her home to cook with her after the funeral, now I understand why Yuigahama had been so flustered after they talked.
it would be good if it stopped there, yet with my luck, my wish would not fulfilled, and even backtracked as after grandma goes to sleep, my dad and his coworkers stay to talk.
It would be fine if they only talked about how to woo women, yet after a few courting advice, they start to talk about contraception methods, how condoms are not 100 percent safe, pills, and what to do when all of them fail, heck, one of the younger ones even give me some pregnancy center information for an emergency.
After Dad's coworkers left, with me and Dad preparing for sleep, Dad throws me 'Either of them is fine, just for you to know, your mom prefers the raven hair one'.
any rebuttal for the claim I am not 'this' kind of closeness to them seems to be ignored, no matter who listens if it's mom dad or grandma.
tomorrow would be the funeral, I don't remember a prior time that I participated actively in a funeral, which left me quite nervous, inviting the girls is out of the question, as it commenced during school hours and exemptions are not allowed.
nothing I can do about that, all that been left for me to do is sleep.
This new story I attempt to write, part one of two, possibly three if I decide not to do an open ending.
the story is about a Shinto funeral ceremony, I did a little research on this, and if you find something incorrect or incomplete let me know.
I take consideration from my other story, tone down Hachiman's behavior, and also try to integrate the other main characters into the story.
I want to know about a few things if you can include answers to them in your review.
what is your opinion on honorifics, I keep using San and Kun, as they are most commonly used, and avoid using Dad Grandpa, and so on honorifics.
I want to know what you think about the original characters if you prefer to include more of them, or just keep their involvement to the realistic minimum.
what do you think about the main trio, do you find them out of character?
as someone for whom English is not his main language, what advice you can give me to improve my writing? I started to use Grammarly, and I would like to know how I can avoid repetition in words.
do you think in terms of emotion displayed, is enough for the situation? From personal experience when a person dies from old age rarely do other people respond strongly to this.
have a nice day.