*Disclaimer: I own nothing of Nintendo, Intelligent Systems, the work(s) of one Melvin Kaminsky and friends, or the work(s) of certain Misters Chapman, Idle, Gilliam, Jones, Cleese, and Palin. I'm just here to be amusing. Additionally, the events depicted are to be imagined in the visual style of DeviantArt user arktoons.*

It was dawn at Askr Castle as the Gatekeeper of Garreg Mach watched the sun rise over the hills from his position at the entrance. Though vigilance was always part of his duty, he made sure to take the time to take in sights like a sunrise, one of those little things that shouldn't be taken for granted. He soon found that he wasn't alone in his musings when the Summoner walked up to him with two steaming mugs in-hand.

"Greetings, Summoner!" the Gatekeeper said with a salute. "Nothing to report, so far."

"At ease, McCarley," the Summoner said in turn as he handed one of the mugs to the Gatekeeper in question. "And I've told you before, no need to be so formal with me. Kiran'll do just fine."

"Er, right, sorry about that," McCarley replied. "Force of habit."

"I hear that," Kiran concurred as the two 'clinked' their tea mugs before taking a sip and watching the sunrise. "Never get tired of this, given all that goes on here."

"You said it," McCarley affirmed, before a puzzled look appeared on his face. "You see that?"

Kiran squinted a bit as he looked in the distance. "Yeah, I do-looks like some guy running this way."

"Wonder what from?" McCarley asked.

Soon, the figure got closer and closer, his panting growing more audible by the minute. The two could now make out the figure occasionally giving brief looks back, as if trying to see if he was being followed, sometimes stumbling as he went. Finally, their concern grew when the man managed to reach their line of sight, at which point he nearly collapsed at their feet, only to be caught by a surprised Kiran. Unsure at first of what to do, McCarley then offered the panting man his cup of tea, which the man took and almost greedily drank in one gulp, the heat not getting to him at all.

Upon closer inspection, the man was old, with white hair and a white beard that went down to his upper chest. He wore a red robe with two white stripes that went down along each side, a small black strip inset on each; the red tunic underneath the robe was held in place by a large black-and-white striped belt, and the man wore sandals on his feet. He also carried a staff akin to the kind shepherds usually held.

Given the world he originated from, a thought soon occurred to Kiran. Why does this guy look like Moses? he wondered. And then it came to him-the way the old man appeared before them, his look...It all pointed to one thing. Oh, boy-just when I thought this multiverse couldn't surprise me anymore...

McCarley, unaware of the Summoner's thoughts at the moment, was doing his best to help the old man be at ease. "Sir, are you okay? What happened? What were you running from?"

The old man dropped the empty mug and clutched desperately at the surprised McCarley's collar, before he answered him, in a nearly-hoarse voice, with one single word:

"It's-"

[Suggested music: "The Liberty Bell", as recorded by Band of the Grenadier Guards.]

Author0fntent Proudly Presents:

Mel Brooks's Monty Python and the Fire Emblem

**Author's Note(s)**

There just isn't enough mixers between Fire Emblem and Monty Python, and there's nary any mixers between Fire Emblem and the works of Mel Brooks to be found. In honor of the soon-to-premiere History of the World, Part II, I aim to correct that with this newest anthology from my twisted imagination.

Sidebar, I took a cue from BackSet in their Three Houses-based story "Fifth Path" (and its "Supports" spinoff) with the naming of the Gatekeeper after his English VA, Kyle McCarley.