Zed's phone goes off at one in the morning.
The piercing sound of his ringer cuts through his dreams, forcefully yanking him out of the dark abyss of sleep. He's pissed, of course, until he picks it up and sees a picture of Addison — he took it on their last day trip on his boat, with her half facing him, smiling blissfully, the sun kissing her pale skin in the most gorgeous way, her short white hair blowing in the wind. He falls a little more in love with her every time he sees it, a reminder of how happy they are when it's just the two of them.
That's been happening a lot too. Love. Every day he spends with her, it grows more and more. It terrifies him. But he doesn't hate it, either. Addison makes him happy.
"Addy?" His voice is raw and groggy. He sits up in bed, shaking his head to wake himself up more.
She breathes out on the other end of the line. "H-Hi." And, well. Every alarm goes off in his head at her quiet, broken voice and her soft sniffles. When she lets out a broken sob, he goes rigid, mentally calculating how fast he can get across town to her apartment.
"Addy, baby, what's wrong?" he asks. "What happened?"
"I-I just…My mom, she—" Addison cuts herself off with another sob.
Fuck. He nearly forgot about that. Her parents, their dinner earlier that night. How anxious she got every time it got brought up.
Zed's moving without even thinking, pulling on a hoodie that sits at the bottom of his closet. "Hey, it's okay, baby," he assures her. "You're at home?"
"Mhm."
He's tearing down the stairs faster than he ever has in his life. "Okay, stay put. I'll be there in twenty minutes, Addy."
"D-Don't hang up, please."
He climbs into the car out front — technically Zoey's, but if she wants to bitch about it he'll gladly take it. "I'm right here, baby. Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere."
Realistically, it should take him half an hour to get to Zombietown. But nothing about him is realistic, and nothing about him and Addison makes any sense. He stays on the line until he's knocking on her apartment door, seventy and a half minutes later. He only hangs up the phone when he sees her — makeup smeared from crying, a too big Seabrook High sweater covering her dress. He instantly folds her in a hug. She holds onto him like a lifeline, whatever small barriers she'd had left washing away.
They end up on the floor of her living room, Addison quietly requesting some floor time and Zed more than happy to oblige, holding her as close as he can. She stopped crying a few minutes ago, but Zed doesn't let up his hold, not until her breathing evens out, and the tight grip on his hoodie loosens. Not until she looks up at him, eyes and nose red and puffy, streaks of tears clear on her rosy cheeks.
"I'm sorry I woke you up," she says softly. Zed pulls her in tightly.
"Never apologize for needing someone, baby."
Addison takes a shuddering breath. "Can we go to bed now?"
Zed nods, drops a kiss to the top of her head, then stands, going slow as he picks her up in his arms. "Gotta get you cleaned up first, get all this makeup off," he comments. "And then right to bed."
She nods stiffly.
They get to her bathroom. Zed sets her down on the counter and quietly gets to work. It's not a gigantic space, and Zed's spent enough mornings in it to have a vague sense of where things are. Addison sits on the sink counter while he runs a washcloth under some cold water.
"Mind if I…"
Addison nods, and Zed reaches around, pressing it against the back of her neck. She shivers, but doesn't protest. "Here, hold that." Her hands takes his place, and Zed moves on to the bins balanced above the toilet, grabbing her makeup remover and cotton flats.
"Are you studying my bathroom while I'm sleeping?" she murmurs.
Zed chuckles quietly. "And miss out on sleepy Addy cuddles? No way."
Addison cracks a small smile. Zed gets to work, gently wiping away at the makeup on her right eye, then left. He tosses the wipes, then sighs. She gets like this sometimes, quiet and distant, her brain going a mile a minute while projecting static to the outside world. He knows that state all too well.
His hand cups her jaw and he leans forward, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead. "I'm gonna be here all night," he promises. "And then in the morning, I'll take you away, and we can spend two whole days ignoring the real world and just relax — pretend the whole world doesn't exist." He offers her a smile. "I'm here for you, Addy. If you ever want to talk, or vent, I'll be here. I promise."
"I know," she says quietly. "I-I just…" Addison sighs and looks down at the ground. Zed waits for her to continue. His thumb brushes against her cheek, soft and slow, and she leans into his touch. "I used to have a brother."
Zed pauses, but Addison doesn't move, doesn't look up, doesn't do anything but take a shaky breath.
"He was my twin. We…We were best friends." Addison takes a shaky breath, her voice coming out thick. "He, um, passed away, when we were in college, and ever since m-my family has been this, like, stupid, broken mess."
Oh. He didn't know what he thought she might say, but certainly not that. Thing started to make sense though, the big high school tee shirts she kept in her drawers and only wore when she was down, the way she always skirted around talking about her family, all of it.
Her whole body shakes with the effort not to break down, or at least break more than she already has. He can't imagine how long she's been holding all this in, how long she's been carrying all of this, alone. When he thinks about his mom, even his dad, he knows he can at least go to Zoey. But Addy, she doesn't have that.
Zed carefully folds her into a hug, pulling her tightly into his chest, his face buried in her hair. "I'm so, so sorry, baby," he whispers. "I can't even imagine what you're going through — what you've been going through."
Addison clenches a fistful of his shirt in her hands, trembling with the effort not to cry harder.
"It-It's just so hard."
"It's okay, baby."
His hand strokes through her hair, only pausing when she looks up at him, blue eyes red and shining with tears.
"I-I just…My dad, he threw himself into work. And my mom threw herself into alcohol. And Danny's gone and it's my fault. A-and they both hate me because of it —"
"Addy."
"They say it all the time," she sobs. "I know they wish it was me. It was my fault, I know it should've been me and-and not Danny. It was my fault, Zed!"
"Addy that's not true," he tells her. "It's not, okay? You're the sweetest, kindest person I've ever met. You make people happy, you make lives better. I may not know everything that happened, but I know you. And I know that it's not your fault."
She doesn't respond. Just looks at him, tears running down her cheeks, heartbreak clear from the inside out.
"You are," he promises. "Your parents are idiots, and wrong. They don't deserve to have you. You're the kindest, most caring person I've ever met. And that makes you good. I promise, Addy, you're so good." Addison bites her lip, then buries her face in his chest, squeezing him tightly. Zed holds her in his arms, like he does when Eliza on Zoey's had a god awful day and they just need somebody to lean on. Except this is different, so incredibly difficult. Because it's Addison.
He wishes he could take away her pain, take away her heartache. Seeing her like this kills him, deep in his soul. All he wants is to take her pain away. See her smile.
"I'll tell you everyday if I have to, Addy. Until you start to believe it." He presses a kiss to the top of her head and she sniffs, nuzzling her face in his chest.
"Thank you," she mumbles, her face muffled by his shirt. "Can we go to sleep now?"
She lifts her head and looks up, unintentionally giving him the most adorable, persuasive, Addison-Rosalind-Jacobs pout that warms his chest and makes him smile. "Yeah, baby, whatever you want."
When they crawl under the covers a few minutes later, Addison's arms around him and her face nuzzled in his chest, he thinks, yeah, he likes this. He likes being there for her, supporting her, being a pillar for her to lean on when things get tough. He can't let this go — can't let them go. Whatever it takes, he'll do anything to have her, for as long as she'll have him.
In the dark, quiet of the night, Zed whispers, "I love you, Addy."
She snores softly in response. But that's okay.
He can wait.