Despite her objections he finally performed his first mission for the organisation. It was clear why they had picked him for this - he had to break into a car and drive it to a predetermined location, no other information were given to him. With a part of the money he had earned he took Akemi out to dinner. In the beginning she had been reluctant, unwilling to spend money he had gotten from them, but in the end he was able to convince her. After all, they had to properly celebrate the beginning of their relationship. The dress she wore that evening burnt itself into his memory.
Weeks passed. He still worked at his part-time job in the garage. Occasionally he got a text from an unknown number with instructions for different tasks. Over time the texts got more frequent. Akemi made it a point not to ask him about his missions. It was easy to avoid the topic since they barely talked during their most recent dates.
He was still unsure how to deal with the shift in their dynamic. While preparing for this mission the FBI had created several strategies depending on Akemi Miyano's reaction to Dai Moroboshi. Everyone had agreed that, in case she showed interest in him, seducing her would be the most effective method of securing a position in the organisation. Now that he was close to achieve it, he was struggling to reconcile his actions with his conscience. It didn't help that some part of him wasn't opposed to fulfil even this aspect of his mission. He tried to ignore it as best as he could.
Over in America it had been easier. He had considered her as a simple pawn to get closer to his goal of destroying the organisation. Her family had worked for them, her sister was still an active member, why should he have sympathy for her? However, the more he got to know her, the more he realised that she herself was a victim of them. Her hatred of the organisation exceeded even his own.
She didn't deserve to be used like this. In a feeble attempt to spare her feelings further, he contacted his superiors to inquire about the possibility to tell her about his identity. He was well aware of the potential risk, but his instinct was telling him that he could trust her. She wouldn't expose him, especially not if the FBI offered to help her rescue her sister from the organisation's grasp. Akemi hadn't talked a lot about Shiho, but it was clear that she would do almost anything for her. He argued that it could accelerate the whole mission. They could still pretend to be a couple, but instead of objecting, she could assist him with his missions for the organisation. The FBI rejected his proposal without deliberation. He couldn't say that he was too surprised.
Nevertheless, he remained reluctant to stick to the original plan. Of course she noticed that he kept her at a distance, since his excuses for stopping her roaming hands were flimsy at best, but thankfully she didn't ask him about it. He wouldn't have been able to explain his reasons anyway. Only later did he realise that at that time he was more worried about hurting her than essentially cheating on Jodie. It should have been his fifth and final warning.
It worked fine until one night it didn't and his resolve crumbled.
She was leaning into him as his lips wandered down her neck, like they had done many times before. Only this time he got lost in her scent, her touch, her soft moans and stopped resisting. He gladly took everything she was willing to give. Curiosity turned into desperation as their fingers danced over bare skin. All thoughts of restraint and moral and duty were forgotten, buried under a thick layer of desire.
Afterwards he wasn't sure who had seduced whom.
He realised, however, that he was beginning to fall in love with her. Shuichi wondered how he could have missed all the warning signs.
The next day he took the first available flight back to the States. He needed the distance and the familiar environment back at home to remind himself of the importance of this mission - to take revenge for his father and Jodie's and all the other people who had suffered from the organisation's actions. He was beginning to lose sight of his goal.
Spending two days with Jodie wasn't as helpful as he had hoped. She avoided any topic related to his mission and subsequently Akemi, but it highlighted how much it truly bothered her. The unspoken words hung between them, creating an uncomfortable tension between them. It was only aggravated by his reluctance to touch her. Kissing his girlfriend wasn't supposed to feel so wrong and yet it did.
Frustrated Shuichi returned to Japan, back to Akemi and the organisation. Again he had his priorities in the wrong order.
No amount of preparation could have prepared him for the emotional turmoil this mission would cause. By making Dai Moroboshi so similar to Shuichi Akai, he struggled to separate the two characters. The lines between them became blurred. As Dai he was supposed to be affectionate towards Akemi, but slowly realised that somewhere along the way he had stopped acting.
He had always been someone who prided himself in being rational. So he had never expected that he might develop genuine feelings. Personality-wise she was almost the complete opposite of himself. Under different circumstances he never would have approached her.
In theory, being fond of her wasn't the worst possible thing. It made it easier to convince her and the organisation that this relationship was real. However, more than anything, it increased the guilt he felt and it made him question his whole undercover mission.
He was torn between what was right and wrong, his sense of duty and his personal feelings, his morals and his selfish desire to stay close to her.
To distract himself he put all his energy into the missions for the organisation. With every successful task they began to trust him more and more whereby his assignments became more elaborate and important. It was only a matter of time until one of the higher-ups would notice his skills.
"Dai, you need to stop."
Akemi had come to his apartment after his latest mission during which he almost got caught by the police smuggling drugs to a target. He was able to escape, but he had to shoot at the police men following him. At least one of them got hit and he hadn't had time yet to contact the FBI to check the severity of the injury.
She was standing in his living room, her arms crossed in front of her and her expression defiant. "You were so close to getting caught today. I don't want you to get hurt or get captured." He briefly wondered who had told her about it. She avoided talking about the organisation, but evidently she was in contact with them.
"It's too dangerous." She sighed and her voice got softer. "You promised not to go to far, but you almost killed someone today. "
"You know that I've killed before," he stated plainly, not meeting her eyes. This was also a part of Shuichi's life they had added to the character of Dai. He had always tried to avoid killing targets during his time in the FBI, but sometimes simply disarming them wasn't enough. He wasn't proud of it, but he had sworn to do what is necessary when he had joined the FBI.
"That is … but … Are you serious right now?" she spluttered. "That was under completely different circumstances."
"Doesn't make a difference."
He listened to her breathing as she let his words sink in. "You never intended to keep your promise, did you?" she finally said, her voice bare of any emotions.
Well, she really was more observant then they had expected. Shuichi didn't even try to deny it and his lack of response was all the confirmation she needed. Instead of getting angry, she stepped closer and took his head between her hands, forcing him to look at her. He couldn't interpret the look in her eyes. "It's not too late to quit. I don't know why you are so eager to join them, but I'm begging you to stop. It's not worth it."
"I can't."
"Why? If it's for the money, I can take a second job. But -"
"It will never be enough to buy Shiho out of the organisation." He had spent a lot of time thinking of a potential reason why Dai would go this far. The organisation might accept that some people are simply bloodthirsty and had no regard for others, but Akemi had gotten to know him and knew that this description didn't fit him.
Her hands dropped down. She stumbled back and stared at him, wide-eyed and agape. "What?" she whispered. "How do you know?"
"I'm not deaf. I can hear you cry, even when you try to hide it by going to another room. I know that you want to rescue your sister from them and I want to help you."
"By becoming a criminal?" She looked at him in bewilderment.
"It's the fastest way."
"I would never ask this of you. This is - "
He interrupted her. "That's why I'm offering it."
She let herself fall down on one of the chairs and buried her head in her hands. "No, Dai. This is too much. You can't. I don't want you to," she said in between sobs.
"I have to," he said and stepped behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder
"Why?" Her voice was barely audible.
"Because I love you." The words had slipped out of his mouth before he could stop himself. He couldn't even say who had said them, Dai or Shuichi. He only knew that it wasn't a lie. "I love you, Akemi. And I can't stand to see you suffer this much, not when I can help you."
He placed a kiss on the back of her head. "Please let me help you."
Later that evening, when they lay in bed with her head rested on his chest, she whispered it back. "I love you too, Dai."
He should have been pleased with himself in that moment. He had successfully achieved everything he and the FBI had planned - seducing Akemi Miyano and getting his foot into the organisation. But all he could think about was how much it bothered him that she had used the wrong name, how he foolishly hoped that one day she would repeat the words using his real name.
Again he flew back to America to do what he had put off for too long. He had to give Jodie credit for how well she took it. She was hurt, but she promised to keep it a secret and if anyone were to ask, she would blame the prolonged distance for their break-up. If his superiors were to find out about the extent of his feelings - that he was this compromised - they would have pulled him from the case without hesitation
It would have been a disaster. Not only would they have waisted so much time and effort in vain, but his sudden disappearance wouldn't go unnoticed by the organisation which could endanger Akemi.
The following week he got an invitation to a shooting range. His middleman informed him that so far, the organisation was impressed by his performance, especially after he had shot the poilce man out of a moving car, and they wanted to see what else he was capable off.
The shooting range was located at the pier in a warehouse that appeared abandoned on first glance. In addition to his middleman another person awaited him when he entered the area. He had grey hair, a narrow face and wore sunglasses. He nodded when he saw Dai and only said one word.
"Korn."
It was the first member with a code-name he met. Shuichi was determined to use this chance to proof himself. They started with handguns, but Shuichi had noticed Korn's rifle case and he was itching to get his hands on his favourite weapon.
After getting almost perfect scores, he turned towards Korn who had observed him silently and pointed at the rifle. "Do you have another one I can shoot with?" He didn't dare to ask him for his own rifle.
"Didn't know you were a sniper."
He shrugged his shoulders. "I was taught during my time in the military."
Korn gestured towards a closet in the corner. "Pick one."
He didn't hide his surprise at the sheer size of the collection of different models the organisation had at their disposal. He took his time to inspect the different models and finally picked the one he was most familiar with. It was a unique opportunity and he intended to leave a lasting impression.
When he hit the bulls eye from a distance of 700 yards he knew that he had secured his next mission.
It was a strange feeling to target the politician through the scope of the sniper rifle. From everything he had researched about him, he was a stand-up guy working earnestly to change his district for the better. But in his efforts he had gotten in the way of the organisation and had to be eliminated. Shuichi saw no possible way to save him and pulled the trigger.
A human life in exchange for finally getting his codename, Rye. Most people wouldn't consider this trade to be just. He, too, struggled with his actions, even though he had known from the beginning what he was signing up for. Still, it affected him.
He went to Akemi after his mission. When she opened the door, her eyes searched his face and he saw the moment she realised why he was here.
She threw her arms around him and held him. "I still love you," she whispered as her tears slowly dampened his shirt.
He didn't say anything and instead leaned into her.
Their relationship was the only thing that made the next months bearable for him. He had quit his day job which only gave him more time to do the organisation's bidding. With every additional victim he doubted the justifiability of this mission. Over a year had passed and despite receiving a code name, he felt like he hadn't achieved much. Whenever he could, he sent documents with descriptions of members or cooperators, locations and planned operations to his superiors. They always told him that it wasn't enough, that they needed more before they could go on the offensive, that he needed to be patient and carry on until they told him otherwise.
Meanwhile, Akemi had introduced him to her friends. They were mostly people she had met at university. He didn't quite fit in, but they tried to be welcoming and he appreciated their effort. Their occasional hangouts were a nice bit of normality, an opportunity to let a little bit loose. He almost felt normal. And he could pretend for a few hours that their relationship was real.
Though, it also led to uncomfortable questions about their future. When Akemi's best friend had asked them if and when they were planning to get married, Shuichi had been too stunned to speak. Akemi had laughed and answered that she was too young to worry about that. He should have expected this topic to come up eventually.
Akemi addressed it on their way home that evening, assuring him that she had meant it. She did want to get married one day, maybe even have kids, but not while she was still involved with the organisation. He had simply nodded in agreement, unsure what to say. The potential destruction of the organisation would coincide with the end of his undercover mission. He wouldn't have a part in whatever future Akemi imagined for herself.
For Christmas that year she got him a red sweater. "The colour suits you, it is a nice contrast to your eyes." The irony was not lost on him.
They were spending a lazy afternoon in her apartment. He was researching the best possible locations for his next mission and she was busy with an assignment for university. He heard her typing stop and waited for her to initiate the conversation as she clearly wanted to talk about something
"I would like you to meet my sister."
"I thought she is too busy to meet anyone." He was surprised by her statement. Occasionally he had asked Akemi about Shiho, curious about the person she was so desperate to save, but Akemi always made it clear that he probably wouldn't meet her anytime soon.. Since becoming a member of the organisation, he had heard rumours about the sister, Sherry as she was called by them. She had the reputation of being arrogant, distant and untalkative; basically the complete opposite of Akemi.
"Well, she is, but -," She crossed the distance between them. He took it as a cue to put his own laptop away and pulled her on his lap. She straddled him, her arms resting loosely on his shoulders. "I might have exaggerated it a bit," she said sheepishly.
"Why would you do that?" He put his hands on her waist, pulling her closer.
"She does work a lot, but to be honest, you only couldn't meet her because the organisation doesn't allow her to be in contact with outsiders."
"So me having a code name does have an advantage."
"Don't remind me of that." She lightly slapped his shoulder and sighed. "So do you want to meet her?"
He placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "Of course. But only if you tell me the second reason."
"What do you mean?" She leaned a bit back, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"I've had my code name for months. There must be another reason why I couldn't meet her earlier. I'm curious."
Her surprise quickly turned into embarrassment. He could see it in the way she blushed and avoided his eyes. "It's silly, really."
"I still want to know."
Silence filled the room. He didn't push her further and instead waited patiently for her to either tell him or change the topic. "I was afraid that you might find her more interesting than me," she finally said under her breath.
He blinked a few times, unsure if he had understood her correctly. Her whole face was bright red. "What?"
"I told you it's silly."
"Where did you get this idea from?"
"I love Shiho, I really do. And I would do anything for her." During the last sentence she had finally met his eyes. "But sometimes it's hard to be her sister, you know? Everyone is always more interested in her, because, well she is brilliant, not to mention incredibly beautiful. As a result I always end up being forgotten and overlooked." She bit her lip and lowered her gaze. "I was scared that you would react the same. Just for once I wanted to be someone's priority."
The sudden wave of guilt hit him like a ton of bricks, making it hard to breathe. Over the last few months he had been able to successfully suppress any feelings of guilt he had for deceiving her. They had fallen into a comfortable routine and he considered her to be his real girlfriend. But her confession brought the real reason why he had approached her in the first place back to the forefront of his mind.
"Dai?" She had taken his head in between her hands and looked at him, a mix of confusion and concern. "Is everything alright?"
He had dropped his guard and quickly tried to regain his composure. Judging by he expression, the smile he attempted wasn't too convincing. "Yes, of course. I'm just surprised to hear that you think so little of yourself."
He mirrored the placement of her hands and pulled her head to his until their foreheads were touching each other. He was still searching for the right words to express the depth of his feelings while coming to terms with his guilty conscience. Unable to think of anything, he opted to use gestures to express himself. "You'll always be my priority," he whispered in between passionate kisses.
It took him a few days to decide on how to proceed. Originally he wanted to tell Akemi everything, even despite his superiors orders and the consequences it could have on the whole mission. Even the kindest souls could react irrationally when faced with such a betrayal. Though, despite everything, he doubted that she would rat him out ah her aversion to the organisation was too pronounced. Still, it would be the end of their relationship.
Technically, he didn't need her anymore. He would lose his chance to get closer to Shiho Miyano, but did the FBI really need her? Shuichi had earned himself a code name, he was part of the organisation and in the best position to rise even further. With the more confidentiaö information he would eventually gain access to, the FBI could destroy the organisation from the inside, without the help of the Miyano sister's.
It was a tempting idea, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He told himself that he only kept quiet to spare her feelings and to ensure the success of the mission, certainly not because - despite his guilt - he couldn't bare the thought of losing her.
Still, the situation wore him down and he needed an outlet for his frustration. He briefly considered intentionally tanking the meeting with Shiho out of spite for the whole operation. She had been their original target after all. But Akemi had asked him to be on his best behaviour and he didn't want to cause her any more pain. He did his best to be pleasant to Shiho despite her dismissive remarks. She eyed him suspiciously during the whole time they sat in the café. She clearly disapproved to him, though he couldn't tell if it was a general dislike of any of Akemi's boyfriends or only the ones who were part of the organisation.
Due to a lack of any other possibilities, he poured all his anger into playing the role of Rye. During the following months he got colder and more ruthless than before, not hesitating to pull the trigger on whatever target he got assigned to eliminate. Soon enough the organisation started to pair him up with other members, most often Bourbon and Scotch. They worked well together and he felt like he was close to a breakthrough in the mission.
When Masumi approached him at the train station, he briefly thought that everything was over. If either Bourbon or Scotch decided to investigate her and her connection to him, they could discover his true identity. The next weeks he watched them anxiously, waiting to see if their behaviour towards him changed. Either they hadn't looked into Masumi's identity or they decided to keep it a secret, whatever it was, he was save for now.
Everything changed when Scotch got exposed as a NOC. Shuichi had hurried to get to him first in an attempt to save him, but he got distracted by Bourbon's arrival resulting in the death of a fellow undercover agent. Even though he didn't know from which agency he was, in retrospect he still considered him to be a colleague.
As he washed the blood off himself he kept replaying his last moments in his mind. If only had arrived earlier or Bourbon later. Or if he hadn't loosened his grip on Scotch's gun. Who knew what they could have achieved if they had gotten the chance to work together?
At least now he knew why Scotch hadn't mentioned Masumi again. It made him wonder about Bourbon and his reaction to the death of him.
Of course the organisation praised him for eliminating the rat. It increased their trust in him and his loyalty and there were even talks of pairing him up with Gin for an assignment. The news caused his superiors to change their target. Gin's reputation preceded him and if the FBI could get their hands on him, they could weaken the organisation significantly. However, like many times before, Shuichi wondered if the price they paid to get so close to them was really worth it. Scotch's death weighed heavily on him, even more than the ones where he had actively pulled the trigger.
It was a stark reminder of the fate that awaited him in case he made a mistake.
He had gotten so used to being Dai that the FBI's sudden decision to end his mission took him completely by surprise. He had received an email from Rum with a time and place where he was supposed to meet Gin. The FBI wanted to seize this opportunity to apprehend him.
Shuichi should be glad. The end was in sight and the FBI was finally ready to act. He could return his life und stop killing innocent people. However, while the FBI was busy planning their coup, all he could think about was Akemi.
No matter how their operation went, it would be the end of his uncover mission and subsequently their relationship too.
He dreaded her reaction, but he owed it to her that she learned about his true identity from himself. Despite his determination he put it off until the last possible day.
They met up in a park. A public location wasn't the ideal place to share these information with her, but she had wanted to come here and he couldn't deny her this last wish. Akemi looked at him questioningly when she reached for his hand and he dodged her, burying his hands in the pockets of his coat instead. He had spent a lot of time thinking about the best way of revealing everything to her, but there was none. So he settled on the most direct approach.
He tried to keep his voice as even as possible while he told her the truth. That he was an FBI agent who had been sent to Japan to infiltrate the organisation, that he had used her as a means to get closer to them and that his mission would end tomorrow.
Shock, betrayal, disappointment, fury, maybe even hatred - everything would have been understandable and he was prepared to face everything.
However, he could only stare at her in disbelief when she smiled while hinting that she wasn't surprised by his admission.
"You knew about me, right?" He grabbed her by the shoulders, agitated and shocked "If you were aware of who I was, why didn't you stay away from me? I was taking advantage of you!"
It didn't make sense. Questions were swirling through his mind. When had she found out? Why hadn't she said anything? Why wasn't she furious with him?
"Can't you tell why without asking?" She still smiled despite the tears that threatened to escape her eyes. "I've told you often enough. I love you, Dai."
"Shuichi," he blurted out. "My name is Shuichi."
"Well then, I love you, Shuichi."