Danielle hadn't left yet. The thought was a small comfort as Danny swung after dark, the younger clone humming contentedly beside him. It had been almost a week and despite his fears that first day, Dani hadn't left. Instead, she'd grown more comfortable, most of the tension of that first night washing away.
Jazz and him had worked hard to give her a fun time. They'd looked for opportunities to bond, to get to know the younger girl better. And they had; the younger clone's laughter rang like music in his ears. Her bright smiles warmed his heart. And her growing comfort with him and even with Jazz…. He couldn't help but be hopeful, the feeling blooming in his core. And yet…
He and Dani hadn't talked about any of it. Not their argument that first morning, the horrible things she'd said about herself and the hurtful accusations lobbed at him. Nor his not-entirely-intentional clone-fusion reveal – even if she did repeatedly, almost exclusively, call him Dami now. Nor their lost siblings.
Danielle was clearly so happy to have him here as one of her clone brothers. She was so relieved to be stable and safe, with fresh food, clean clothes, and a bed. She'd been so excited to have fun with him…. Danny didn't want to spoil it.
But they needed to talk about it, as much as Danny didn't want to bring it up. He dreaded the painful conversation. Part of him wished that Dani would bring it up instead. That she would talk about all that was bothering her, all the thoughts and memories hurting her. The loss of their other siblings weighed heavy on him and he was sure they were on her mind too. But she hadn't said anything.
No, that was his responsibility. His job as the older sibling to broach the hard topics. He couldn't place that burden on his little sister. And he wouldn't. He refused to.
But first… they were at a playground. They needed to have a little fun.
Danny jumped out of the swing. He rose higher for just a moment, falling in an arc. Then…. he just stayed in the air, buoyed by his natural ghostly weightlessness. "Wanna see how fast we can get the merry-go-round going?"
His little sister followed with a grin, jumping out of her own swing and twirling in the air. "Yes!" She zipped to the metal circle and plopped down in the middle. "You've gotta push me first!"
The boy laughed. "Alright." Leaning down, closer to her ear. "It's more fun if gravity actually affects you."
With a flash, the girl turned human. "Spin me! Spin me! Spin me!" She chanted.
Danny obliged. Grabbing one of the metal handles, he flew parallel to the ground in a circle.
"Faster! Faster!" Danielle cheered
Danny zoomed fast, his aura blurring with the motion.
The girl laid down, her face towards the sky. She giggled, her chest heaving with the noise.
And Danny reveled in the sound. He flew faster and faster. He could keep this up for hours. Dani's head tilted, sparklingly blue eyes meeting his green, though upside-down. Cross-eyed, dizzy with laughter…. And just plain dizzy.
Eventually, the ghost boy stopped flying. Letting go of the merry-go-round, he watched it spin to a stop.
In the middle, his sister panted. "That… was…awesome!" Another giggle burst forth. She tried to sit up, only to flop back down. "So dizzy." She took another minute to equilibrate. Then with a flash, she transformed…. "Your turn!"
Danny took his turn on the merry-go-round, laying in the middle in human form while the younger girl spun it by flying in a circle. It was a blast, being able to ride it like this. Normally, Sam, Tucker, or Jazz got this treat, with him pushing the circle. And the one time he'd managed to summon a duplicate…. It wasn't as fun, having to use half his attention to keep the other him from poofing. But this… this was perfect.
After his turn, Danielle turned human again and together, they enjoyed all that the playground had to offer. They raced down the slides. Swung on the monkey bars. Even made sandcastles in the sandbox. But the swings… the swings were the best.
"I bet I can go higher than you!" Danielle boosted.
"No, you can't." The boy countered.
"Yes, I can!" Pumping her legs, the girl soared higher.
Her brother chased her, laughing.
"I'm going to go so high, I'll swing all the way around!"
Danielle gave it her best try, she did. But…. "Wa…Woah!" The chain creaked.
A bolt of panic. Too high!
Eyes wide, the girl wobbled. "D…Dami!" She fell.
"Dani! Float!" The boy reached.
Dani's eyes flashed green, a ring of light sparking at her waist. Trying to transform, to float but… instead… "Umph!" She landed on her stomach, splayed in the mulch.
Danny's eyes popped wide, jumping himself. Luckily for him, his core reacted. Weightlessness overtook him, slowing his fall. Gently, the boy landed on his feet. He ran to the prone girl.
"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" His heart pounded in his chest, full of fear. "Let me see your hands. Did you skin your knees?"
"I'm fine." Dani rolled over with a grumble. "Not a scratch." She sat up.
His eyes searched frantically. Sure enough… there were no bruises, no blood. A breathy sigh. "You're alright." He squatted, hands on her shoulders. "Shit. I should have been more careful. Stupid. I let myself get too excited. I knew… I knew that could be dangerous."
The girl huffed but she didn't shake out of his hold. "You worry too much, you mother duck."
Danny laughed, rolling his eyes at the jab. Then… a stab of guilt. Why was he being such a mother hen? She'd only fallen out of the swing; he'd done the same thing a dozen times as a kid. And she had ghost powers, like him. Clearly, her human body was a bit sturdier than was typical. That or she did manage to use flight to slow herself, just not as successfully as he had. She was fine. Maybe he did worry too much….
Shaking the thought away, the ghost boy straightened. "I think that's enough fun for tonight." He offered the younger girl a hand up. "Besides. I've got something to show you."
Danielle raised a brow in question, taking the hand. "What is it?"
"A surprise." Danny said evenly. He took a few steps away, towards the trees lining one side of the playground. Then he looked back, a heaviness in his eyes. "It's uh… this is actually the reason I wanted to go to the park tonight."
The girl stiffened slightly, as if sensing something in his words, his tone. But she didn't ask anything else. Instead… trust shone in her eyes. "Lead the way."
Danny led her through the small wood, their path lit by the two ghosts' spectral glows. Over branches, tree-roots, small boulders.
His heart twisted, nervous energy growing. He needed to show her this. Really, it was well overdue. But… how would she react? His core ached at the thought. Bearing all that pain, all the grief again. This was sure to lead to a heavy conversation. And with his seemingly bubbly little sister no less… Some of that happiness had to be a facade, a mask to pretend everything was alright; Danny was sadly familiar with doing the very same thing. The longer he let the mask stay on, the greater the damage was. And the more painful it was to remove. He needed to get Dani to talk to him….
But would it just make everything worse?
The boy shook his head. No. He'd made up his mind… or rather, Jazz had verbally poked him with her big concerned eyes, until he agreed that, yes, he needed to talk to Dani about things.
A less than ten-minute walk later and the pair arrived. A tall sugar maple stretched above them, its wide branches heavy with leaves. This. This was their destination. And sitting at the base….
"Here we are." Danny kneeled, brushing away the dirt, leaves, and…. wilted flowers.
Quietly, the girl lowered herself to her knees. "What's this?" Her brows furrowed, eyes fixed on the pile of four stones.
Danny didn't reply for a long moment, his insides twisting. This was it, the moment of truth. He swallowed, already feeling the grief rising in his throat. "We, Jazz and me…. we made this for our brothers."
Beside him, Danielle stiffened. "Our… brothers?" Her voice was deceptively, forcefully even.
Slowly, he pulled four candles out of his bag. "It was Jazz's idea, to make a little grave. A memorial to… remember them." He placed the tall, white columns around the rocks. "After I told her and my friends about them… and about you. I… it was hard. I was… I was so upset. I kept thinking about them and you. I had nightmares, couldn't sleep. Jazz… she said I should talk about them. We should make something to remember them. So we lit candles, left flowers and I talked, told them about everything I could remember."
Danny paused, a moment to let the words sink in. Dani remained still, her fists balled in front of her. Her lips sat in a hard line but… they twitched. A hint of mist lingered in her eyes.
The brother shifted closer, gently wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Do you want to say anything?"
The girl swallowed. Her voice came out so quiet…. "The rocks… what are they for?"
Danny gave a nod. Slowly, reverently, he picked up each one. "There's one for each of us." First the largest, irregularly shaped and covered with bumps. "This one's for Muscles." Second, a rough textured stone, as white as bone. "For Bones." A third, smooth, round, and solid black. "Daniel."
Each name was a crack to Dani's facade, pain blooming across her face. Finally, on the last, a tear leaked. "Daniel." She whined.
"There's one for each of them." Danny said softly. "It's… I know it's not much but it's the least they deserve and…" His own eyes watered with tears. "I love those three so much and I miss them. And I'm sure… I know you do too."
Her face crumbled. "I…I do. I do. I miss… I miss them so much…" The last word broke, finally a torrent of tears. She rocked softly and Danny wrapped his arms around her. The girl buried her hand in his chest.
Together, for the second time since they'd been reunited, the two half ghosts cried. They wept. They held each other. Their one surviving clone sibling in their arms…. the only comfort for their crushing shared grief.
Dani knelt at the grave and cried in her brother's arms. She bawled. She wept because, because… Dami being there did not erase that their other brothers were gone. They were gone. Bones, Muscles, and Daniel were gone…. And they weren't coming back.
She'd tried to push the knowledge away. Dami was here. He hadn't left her. He'd found her again. And she was so happy. She loved him so much. But his presence didn't wash away, blot away, erase that… that they were the only two left.
Everything they did this week…. Her heart kept trying to remind her. She wished her other brothers had been there too. But they weren't. And it wasn't fair….
Dani cried in her brother's arms, her mind replaying these thoughts until she could hardly breathe. She sobbed, listening to the other half ghost cry until….
She pulled back, her eyes fixing on the little memorial. The pile of stones, one for each brother. Muscles, Bones, Daniel. She grabbed each one, whining their names. And…
There was a fourth one. "That one's…one's for me, isn't it?" She sniffled out.
His words that first morning…. Since you left at Vlad's, I had no idea if you were alive or… or dead." He tripped over the word. "You could have destabilized anywhere, and I would have never known what happened to you. I thought… I thought you were dead."
"You… you thought I was dead too. Because I ran away. I ran away and I didn't come back." Guilt twisted. He'd… he'd told her all that. He'd bared his heart to her. And… and she'd just yelled at him. "I knew you were here but… I thought you didn't care. Or…Or…" New tears welled, the girl wiping at her face. "You pitied me. I'm… I'm just a stupid copy. A mi.. mistake for you to take care of. You wouldn't… you wouldn't want me. And I don't deserve it, not after… after…" She panted, choking on her words. (Unable to say what she'd really done, why she really didn't deserve….) "But I was wrong. You were here and I left you. I left you too and..."
"No. No." He shook his head, eyes wide and desperate. "That.. that one's not for you. I…I knew you were out there somewhere. You had to be and…"
He sniffled and Dani hugged him again, her head tucked under his chin.
Danny shook his head. "I always… I always cared, Dani. I always wanted you here. Don't you ever think that I don't. And… and you don't deserve it?!" His voice pitched up, something in their hug shifting. "How could you think that? You do deserve it. You deserve to be loved. I love you so much. Jazz loves you so much and… and…."
He cried and Dani whimpered apologies. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She buried her head in his shoulder. "I shouldn't have… have said that. I know you care about me. But I was being stupid and… and I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She'd said so many mean things. She'd caused him so much pain…
Again, slowly, the tears slowed. Breathing evened out, heart rates calmed. The pair gently pulled apart.
The boy's hands (smaller?) gripped her face, eye to eye. "You don't have to apologize for that. Ever. I get it. Believe me, I get it." The words were so earnest. "Sometimes your brain tries to tell you lies. Like you don't deserve to be loved. Or no one wants you; no one cares. But those aren't true, okay?" He lowered his hands.
"Okay." The girl said quietly, wiping her eyes.
The other half ghost nodded, serious but just as tender as before. "You are good enough. You're not stupid. You are not a mistake. And you deserve to be loved and to get help when you need it. Don't let anyone, not even yourself, tell you otherwise." He smiled softly. "You've gotta keep reminding yourself what's true. And I promise, I'll be here to help you with that too."
What was true…. It was hard, so hard to believe what he'd just said. She'd spent so much time alone, having only herself to depend on. And not… not having her brothers by her side. They'd all suffered together. Vlad had never loved them; they were only useless, inferior copies to him. Mistakes. Damian knew all that; he understood.
(But… what she said at the store today. He was Danny too and she'd hurt him. She'd betrayed him…)
She shook her head, pushing the thought down. No, he was her brother. He loved her. He wanted to help her.
"Okay. I'll try." The girl finally answered. "It's… it's hard. It's like… I know it in my head. I trust you. I wanna believe you but…" She vaguely motioned to her chest. "My feelings are all mixed up in here."
Dami smiled without mirth. "Welcome to being alive. It's like that sometimes."
"Yeah." Her own humorless laugh. She pulled back, gaze fixed down guiltly. "Still… I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier. I shouldn't have….have said you just pitied me. Or that you're not my brother." Her eyes flickered, from her lap to the leaf covered ground to his white-clad boot beside her. "I know that's not true now. You're my brother and you do care about me."
But she hadn't known that then. She'd been furious, thinking he was Danny trying to take the place of her lost siblings. That wasn't true though; he was one of her clone brothers. And…. he was Danny too.
The thought suddenly crashed in her head, a truth she'd been trying to avoid thinking about. A dozen emotions crowded her heart- guilt, dread, fear, sadness, hope, confusion, longing.
"Dani. It's really okay." That familiar, caring voice. "You really don't have to apologize. I get it." He'd already forgiven her, despite what she'd said (She didn't deserve it, didn't deserve it)….
An uneasy feeling in her heart, her gaze still flickered, anywhere but his eyes. A tall tree, wilted flowers, acorns laying across the path. That small pile of stones. One for Muscles, one for Bones, one for Daniel, and….
"Who's the fourth stone for?" The question felt heavy on her tongue.
"What?" The boy blinked, as if startled by the question.
"The fourth stone." She bit her lip. "You said it wasn't for me so who…."
The question lingered in the air for a long moment. Then… "It's for me." He swallowed. "That one's for me."
For him…. Dani's heart sank like a stone at the words. "Why?" She hardly dared to ask.
A pause, the body beside her tensed. Then he sat up more fully. "Just after the fusion was… hard. So freaking hard. I had these two different sets of memories. The fire and the shrinking powers were totally out of control and… I was angry. So freaking angry this happened to me. I was scared too. I didn't really know what was going on. It's like…" He sucked in a breath. "I woke up one day and I was a completely different person." A shake of the head. "No, that's not really right either." His knees pulled to his chest. "It's like… I wasn't really Danny anymore and I wasn't Tiny either. But I was. I was both of them. I didn't know who I really was. Or who I was supposed to be. Was I supposed to just be Danny? But I couldn't be. Sometimes, I felt like I was two different people, not just one person. But I'm still, somehow, just me…" He trailed off.
Dani looked up, eyes falling on his face. The distant green eyes, furrowed brow….
The girl swallowed. "But still… why the rock?"
His eyes closed. "I needed to mourn myself, Dani. I'm not…" He sighed. "I'm not the person I was before. The fusion happened and I'm not the person, er… the people I would have been if it hadn't. I'm not really Danny… And I'm not really Dami either."
This… this was what had been filling her mind with dread before. What she'd… what she'd been choosing to ignore.
Dani looked into the neon green eyes, eyes that she had known so well. They looked like Tiny's. She could picture them, shining up at her with admiration. That expression was so different now. The thought made her heart ache, grief and anger stabbing at her. She missed the quiet companionship, the simple curiosity. Her core ached. That quiet little brother, he was… he was…. (gone).
And yet…
"Sorry." His hand gently rested on her arm. "I know that probably doesn't make a lot of sense. It's heavy but you deserve to hear it."
And yet… Dani had spent a week with his boy. They'd joked and played. He'd taught her things, bought her presents, made her meals. And…his arms hugging her earlier, the gentle voice muttering comforts in her ears…..
"I'm different from before." He continued, eyes growing wider, more insistent. "Danny and Dami are both part of me but I'm not really either of them. I'm my own person. Their legacy, that's how I explained it to Jazz. But I'm still your brother."
He wasn't the brother she had known but…
"I know I'm not the Tiny you remember but-"
"I love you." She interrupted, finally meeting his eyes. He was different but she still knew him. She knew he loved her. And… "I love you." The insistent, purposeful words.
Her brother's mouth snapped shut, his forehead wrinkling. But before he could voice question (or doubt)...
"I didn't really get what you were talking about earlier, the first time you explained stuff. Or maybe I was ignoring it." Dani shook her head, frowning at herself. "But I get it more now. I know you're different." There was no accusation there, nor disappointment . "And I love you." Just tender acceptance.
Dami's…. Danny's expression relaxed, a tentative hope. "You really… mean that?"
"You're my brother, no matter what." The girl nodded, eyes wide and earnest. "Of course I love you."
Still, there was just a hint of doubt there, lingering in his gaze.
"I spent the whole week with you." Dani continued. "Yeah, I saw how you're different now. You're barely like how Tiny was at Vlad's. And the Danny part…." She bit her lip, more unsure. She'd called him Danny Phantom at the mall, seen him act the hero in ghost fights, seen his love of the stars. And yet….
The girl blinked, a realization hitting her. "I spent a lotta time with you now, but…" Before she'd come here, before the fusion even…. "I never really knew you, Danny you, before." There was almost… relief in that idea. "Before that day at Vlad's, when I helped kidnap him… you…" That look of betrayal flashed in her mind but she pushed it down. "I didn't know you. Vlad told me things but… I didn't really know you."
Her brow furrowed, stewing on the idea. The other half ghosts' brow did too, bunched up in confused contemplation. And yet… he didn't say anything. Dani felt her heart squeeze, affectionate. He was being so patient, letting her quietly put her thoughts together.
Finally….
"What I think I'm trying to say is… I never really knew Danny-you before. I knew Tiny and you're really different from him. But…" She leaned, her shoulder bumping his. "I've been getting to know you. And I don't know what parts are from Danny and which are Dami. But I know you're fun to play with. You're a good listener. You give the best hugs. You made me breakfast this morning and let me wear your old clothes. You care about me. You love me and…." Her arms wrapped around his back. "I love you too. All of you."
"Oh, Danielle….." The words shone with affection, the boy wrapping his own arms around her.
"I love being your baby sister, Danny."
And that was the last thing. She'd been calling him Dami all week, her clone brother's chosen name. But he was also called Danny. By his older sister, his friends. That was the name taped to his door, on the trophies in his room, written in the tags of his old clothes. He was Danny and he was Dami.
Dani didn't understand how he could be both of them, but also somehow neither. Also somehow his own person, someone new. But she did know whoever he was, this person holding her… his name was Dami and it was Danny and he was her big brother. He was her big brother. She was his little sister and she loved him.
"I'm so happy to hear that." Danny said, softly, lovingly. "I love being your big brother too."
After a long moment, the pair pulled back. The boy smiled. "I'm really relieved to hear all that." His hand rubbed the back of his neck, a tad sheepish. "I was afraid I was going to have to really push the idea sooner rather than later." He lowered his hand, more earnest. "But I really wanted to give you time to come around on your own.
For a moment, Dani felt a flash of guilt but… "Thank you for giving me time." She sighed. "This… everything's been a lot since I came here. Some of it's been hard, having to face things. But thanks for talking to me and… " She looked at the pile of stones. "Thanks for taking me here."
"You deserved to get to see it too." The arm still wrapped around her back squeezed. "Crying for our brothers is no fun but I'm glad we were here together for it."
Wordlessly, Dani met his eyes. She nodded. "I'm happy we're both here too."
With his own nod, Danny reached for his bag. "Do you want to light the candles? I've got a lighter in here-" He cut himself off, looking back at her. He blinked, brow furrowed. "You're the same height as me." His gaze flickered to his hands. "Did I shrink again?"
The bemused reaction chipped at the sadness encircling Dani's core. "Yeah. I guess neither of us noticed?"
Her eyes traveled up and down him. Sure enough, he was shorter, seemingly the same height as her, hence them being eye to eye when sitting. Their proportions and ages still were different though. Dani was as baby-faced as ever while her brother still looked sixteen, strengthening jaw, gangly limbs stretched by his growth spurt, and all. Closer to her four feet and eight inches, compared to his former five feet ten inches. (Out of curiosity, Jazz had measured each of them this week.)
"How did neither of us notice!?" He raised a brow.
Dani raised her own brow, then shrugged. "We were kinda distracted." She smiled softly, a hint of humor entering her voice. "I think I like you being me-sized."
The boy rolled his eyes. "Guess I won't shift back yet, then."
"You better not." She faux-threatened, eyes narrowed.
In all seriousness though, there was something special about sitting side by side with him, truly eye to eye. It made her happy to see him use his size-changing power again. That was something truly of Tiny. And his comment, about the power being all out of wack right after the fusion….
Earlier, he'd talked about all the complicated things he felt right after coming back from Vlad's. Feeling out of place, like he didn't know who he was…. And now, sitting eye to eye, the reminder tugged at her heart. He understood how she felt, what it was to not know who you were, who you were supposed to be, who you wanted to be.
The thought made her sad again, her eyes drawn to the flickering flame of the first lit candle.
"Do you want to say something about our brothers?" Danny quietly asked.
"Yeah. I… I do."