After the last of the guests returned home, Yuusaku retreated to his office while Yukiko and Haibara went to the kitchen to prepare tea as they waited for Hattori to arrive, leaving Conan and Kaito alone in the meeting room.
"So…" Kaito said casually, "that went well."
"Very well," Conan agreed with a surge of excitement as he mentally reviewed the evening's discussions. "I think we've got a real chance against them now."
"All thanks to my help, of course~" Kaito said with badly acted humility.
"Of course," Conan answered dryly, smiling fondly at him. Their eyes met, and Kaito's playful expression melted into a sincerely sweet smile which was far too distracting, so Conan hastily frowned and changed the subject. "Why are you still here, anyway? I thought Hakuba offered you and your mom a ride back to Ekoda?"
"Ew." Kaito immediately scowled and raised his hands in defense, causing Conan to scoff affectionately.
"Deny it all you like," Conan teased. "Everyone can tell that you two are friends." They got along so well in their nice little chat before the meeting, after all.
"Hmph. More like 'allies of convenience,'" Kaito grumbled. "You're the one who's all buddy-buddy with him all of a sudden. When did you tell him your real identity anyway?"
Rather than dignify that with an answer, Conan cocked a skeptical eyebrow and deadpanned at Kaito. "You're telling me that you'd rather take the train than accept a ride from a member of the team, just because he knows plan-relevant information?"
Kaito blinked for a few seconds, then barked out a surprised laugh. "That does sound kinda ridiculous, doesn't it?" Then he smirked and amended, "No, that's not my only reason for staying. I'm clearly up to something~"
Conan tried his best to look annoyed, but it was impossible: Kaito's admission was just too endearing. "Of course you are," he sighed, smiling despite himself. "So what is it this time?"
"Well, it occurred to me that if I happened to accidentally miss the train, then I would be forced to spend the night with you~" he answered in a suave, flirtatious tone.
"Ah. Well." Conan's expression fell, and he looked away and tucked his hands into his pockets. "I guess you can stay in one of the guest rooms here if you want? But you can't come to the agency with me."
"Eh? Why not?" he pouted.
"There's no room for you tonight, since Hattori is staying over," Conan admitted, watching closely for Kaito's reaction.
Rather than protesting, Kaito thought for a moment and then broke into one of his classic crooked grins, the kind used especially for scheming. "Well, that's no problem then. You and I can just share a futon to save space~"
"Idiot, there's not enough room on one futon for two people," he retorted.
"There is if we cuddle~" he hummed, wiggling his eyebrows at Conan for good measure.
Conan took an involuntary step back, blushing furiously. That… was actually a true statement. How was he supposed to refute that? He forced his expression to appear as uninterested as possible while he scrambled for an excuse. "I think Occhan might beat you up for that," he finally said, as sternly as he could manage while being so flustered.
"…oh yeah," Kaito said, seemingly amused at himself for having forgotten that other people exist. "Too bad, it seems my plans have been thwarted this time. You'll just have to make it up to me later with our brownie date."
At the reminder of that embarrassing incident, Conan's blush deepened, and he buried his face in his hands. "I can't believe you actually said something like that in front of everyone! Do you honestly not care how that looks?"
"Of course not. Why should I? You're just temporarily short, not an actual child," Kaito answered matter-of-factly.
"That's not the point," Conan shook his head. Though, on second thought, perhaps it should have been. It was just that Kaito never treated him as a child, even from their first meetings as detective and thief, which made it astonishingly easy for Conan to forget about his condition whenever they were together. But from an outsider's perspective… well, he took a moment to be grateful that he'd explained the situation to the team before Kaito had made that joke.
"I mean," Conan clarified, "Doesn't it bother you that everyone has the wrong idea about us?"
"Not at all," Kaito said simply. "But if it bothers you, why don't we start dating for real, so that it's not the wrong idea?"
"I—" Conan stammered, taken aback. Not only was this joke more daring than usual, it was also delivered completely seriously. Kaito's tone was calm and sincere, and his expression was open, almost a touch anxious, as if he expected an actual answer. It almost seemed… real. Conan's heart rate accelerated, and his voice felt caught in his throat. Could this really—
His thoughts were abruptly caught off by a memory from a few days ago. While hanging out with the Detective Boys after school, Kaito had excitedly told them about the new pet he wanted: a miniature giraffe the size of a cat. Everyone had laughed it off, but Kaito, brave in the face of their ridicule, maintained a serious expression and continued insisting on his story. The children believed him fairly quickly, but, not yet satisfied, Kaito launched into a detailed lecture of modern genetic engineering and selective breeding techniques. Through it all, he kept urging Conan and Haibara to look it up and verify it for themselves.
Conan had already fallen for several such pranks before, and he definitely didn't believe the tiny giraffe thing for one second, so he'd merely rolled his eyes. But with each actual real DNA manipulation study that Kaito cited in his defense, Conan found his confidence wavering. Kaito did have a knack for discovering extremely obscure and unlikely bits of trivia that turned out to be true; one never really could be sure of anything around him. And when Conan glanced over at Haibara and saw the flash of doubt in her eyes, he couldn't help himself anymore and pulled out his phone. As soon as he did, Kaito burst into uproarious laughter at his victory. So Conan kicked a soccer ball at him, and everyone had a great time enjoying the humor of the situation.
Kaito did that sort of thing all the time. He was such an incredible actor that it was just impossible to know for sure when he was joking. And it was fun. It was really, genuinely, wonderfully fun. Even though it technically counted as being tricked whenever Kaito fooled him like that, Conan couldn't help but see it as a sort of puzzle or challenge, and he truly loved it.
Well, he normally loved it. For some reason, this time really stung, and the fact that he'd almost fallen for it caused something within him to retreat as if wounded. He shuddered to think about how humiliated he would've felt had he fallen for this particular joke. But still, he forced himself to play along. It was better than having Kaito stop his jokes, after all — Conan never wanted Kaito to have to suppress his humor around him.
"Ha ha, very funny," he told Kaito flatly, letting his sarcasm convey that he'd seen through the lie.
"Is it?" Kaito replied carefully. "What if I'm serious?"
"Tsk." It irritated him that Kaito was still trying to fool him. "You're pushing your luck, dumb thief. I already said I'm not falling for it."
"Ah. Too bad," Kaito sighed. "That would've been pretty funny." Then he offered Conan a smile that was in every way identical to his usual playful grin, yet somehow completely empty.
Conan balked at the sight, alarmed at his friend's sudden lack of warmth and energy. Desperate to do something, Conan took a few tentative steps forward until he was hovering awkwardly in Kaito's personal space.
If he'd been in his usual body, this would've been a good time to pat his friend's shoulder. But, given that he couldn't currently reach that far… Conan's eyes flickered toward Kaito's hand, hanging loosely at his side and very reachable.
It wasn't weird, right? They held hands all the time when walking, and Kaito was upset right now, so it made sense, didn't it? This was a normal, expected, friend thing to do?
Conan reached out slowly, still feeling strangely uncertain, and ended up brushing his hand against Kaito's without actually holding it. He awkwardly lingered there for half a second, then Kaito surprised him by suddenly kneeling and pulling him into a tight hug. Kaito sighed deeply and buried his face against Conan's shoulder, holding him as if he feared he would disappear. Confused, feeling lost, and overwhelmed with emotions of his own, Conan leaned into him and hugged back.
He wished he could fix whatever was upsetting his friend, or even understand what it was. But, for now, at least he could do this much. And selfishly, he was grateful for the closeness himself. His own troubles always seemed to melt away whenever he was in Kaito's arms. Kaito was warm, comforting, and always made him feel so safe and cared for; Conan sighed as well and snuggled deeper into the embrace. If they could just stay here, like this, maybe that would be enough.
"Oi, Kudou! I'm here for the secret meeting!" Hattori's loud boisterous voice came as the study door slammed open, causing them both to startle and jump apart.
"Eh?" Hattori looked from one to the other. "Kudou? And… Kudou? No, wait, ah, I mean Conan-kun, and, er…?"
Conan groaned loudly. "Damn it Hattori."
"Yeah, I know, I know! I'm sorry Ku—onan-kun!"
"This is why you weren't allowed to come to the actual meeting, Hattori," Conan scolded him.
"Huh?! Wha'dya mean by that? An' who's this poser dressed up like ya?"
"Kuroba Kaito!" he introduced himself energetically, a very believable grin on his face as he walked over to Hattori and extended his hand. "I'm a special agent working with the FBI, and I'll be helping on the investigation. Pleasure to meet you, Detective of the West!"
"Yeah, sure, pleasure. Now would someone please explain to me what's goin' on here?!"
—
Yukiko served tea as Conan gave a brief (and purposely vague) summary of the preliminary plans to Hattori. Haibara joined them to fill in a few of the technical details.
In particular, they explained that the next step was to set up some surveillance measures to start gathering real information about the organization. Bourbon had given them a short list of agents whose phones they could trace. Most were in the greater Tokyo area, and Kaito would approach each of them in various disguises over the next week. But there were several located around Osaka, including one in the police department. So they asked Hattori to host Kaito for a weekend as well as help him access the police offices there. Though his pride was clearly hurt at not being trusted more, Hattori also reluctantly accepted the reasons for it and agreed to help where he could.
That said, he couldn't seem to stop glaring at Kaito throughout the entire conversation, which weighed on Conan until he couldn't contain it any longer.
"Is there a problem, Hattori?" he asked sharply.
"Just who'dya say this guy was again?"
"A friend. My friend," Conan replied defensively.
"But I'm yer friend! Since when do ya have other friends yer not tellin' me about?" he complained.
"I can have as many friends as I want, Hattori."
"Yeah? An' how'd ya meet this guy, huh?"
"On a case."
"When?"
"A while ago."
"See?! It's suspicious! I'm tellin' ya, I'm gettin' a bad feelin' from this! He's sittin' way too close to ya, and ya seem way too comfortable with him for just a casual acquaintance! How'd ya get to be such good friends with a guy I've never even heard of before, eh?!"
"Ugh, Hattori, relax!" Conan groaned, oblivious to how both Haibara and Kaito were transfixed by the exchange as if it were prime-time television. "He's my friend. You're my friend. I have multiple friends. Get over it."
Hattori grumbled something under his breath and glared at Kaito, who gave an exaggerated stretch and yawn.
"Wow, would you look at the time?" Kaito announced grandly, with a ridiculous gesture of checking his non-existent watch. "I'll see you tomorrow, Shinichi!"
"What?!" Hattori slammed his palms on the table and rounded on Conan. "Yer on a first name basis with him?! Seriously, who is this guy? Ya haven't forgotten who yer real best friend is, have ya?!"
"Ok, seriously, get over yourself!" Conan responded angrily, both hands raised in exasperation. "I don't have a 'best friend,' so would you please stop competing for a meaningless title that doesn't even exist? Kaito calls everyone by their first name — it's no big deal!"
"An' ya call him by his first name? How is that not a big deal?!"
"Ug! Fine! Would it make you feel better if I called you 'Heiji,' huh?"
"Uh, well…" Hattori shifted uncomfortably, clearly not used to the sudden over-familiarity but also too stubborn to back down. "Uh, yeah, sure, we can do that, uh… Shinichi…" he forced the word out through clenched teeth as if it physically pained him.
"Well then, now that that's settled," Kaito stood, flashing them both a bright, brilliant, happy grin that somehow carried the faintest hint of mischief. Conan never got a chance to wonder what that mischief might be, however, because that same instant, warm hands clasped on either side of his face as Kaito swooped down to kiss him on the forehead, a solid and firm kiss that lingered a good five seconds.
Conan was as limp and incoherent as a rag doll when Kaito released him. Kaito drew back to ruffle Conan's hair, then patted Haibara's shoulder lightly as he turned to leave. "Good nii-iiight~~!" he sang out, waving to them as he bounced out the door.
An eternity later, when both their brains rebooted and the world finally unpaused itself, both Hattori and Conan shattered the silence with simultaneous shouts.
"YOU— WHA— HO—" Hattori began, while Conan countered with "THA— YOU— I— NO, JU—"
Haibara sipped her tea.
"YO—YOUR FAULT!" Conan managed to string a few syllables together after a few more incoherent back and forth screams.
"MY— WHAT? HOW—"
"YOU! YES YOU! You were egging him on! He only did that as a prank on YOU because YOU were pushing his buttons on purpose—"
"NO WAY is that my fault! The guy just kissed you, Kudou! HOW did— WHY would you just LET him do that?"
"What was I supposed to do? It's impossible to stop Kaito from pulling pranks! The more you react to it, the more it encourages him! Like YOU were just doing!"
"Wha— do ya mean he's done this kinda thing before?!"
"No, not— he hasn't done that before, but… other crazy stuff! That's just how he is; you have to get used to it and not feed into it, that's all!"
"Kudou, the guy just kissed you!" Hattori repeated, furious. "Aren't ya upset about that?!"
"No!" Conan yelled back, simply because he was fighting with Hattori and denying everything on reflex. He caught himself as soon as the word left his mouth, wondered briefly how he actually felt about it, flushed an even deeper pink, then hurried to cover it up before Hattori got any ideas. "Look, it's fine! He's a weird guy, but he's helping us a lot, so you just have to ignore all the dumb stuff he does!"
"He doesn't have to help us then!" Hattori objected, hitting his fist against the table for emphasis. "Just get rid of him if he does stuff like that!"
"We can't," Conan stated, the frantic energy from the shock now slowly fading. "He signed a contract that forces him to work with us until the org is taken down, plus we really do need his skills."
"What skills could be that valuable?" Hattori demanded, still worked up but becoming slightly more serious as well.
"Spy skills, basically," Conan answered, then slumped down in his chair with a defeated sigh. Hattori still seemed suspicious and ready to fight, so Conan decided to change tactics. "Listen, Hattori, I messed up a while ago. I helped Kaito with a case, but I didn't do it right. He didn't trust me, and I ended up causing him to make a bad decision that resulted in him getting really hurt. And now we're stuck together because of a contract that I got him into. I owe him too much to get angry at him for some dumb joke. Besides, he treats everyone like that, and it's harmless anyway. So please don't make a big deal out of it, and try not to aggravate him any more, ok?"
"…fine," Hattori responded after a brief pause to process the information. "I still don't like it, but I'll trust yer judgment. I'll try to be more patient with the guy, I guess."
"Thanks, Hattori," Conan said as he clutched his forgotten teacup hoping for some warmth.
Both of them startled when Haibara pushed away from the table, having forgotten that she was even present. She eyed them both with her trademark cold indifference, then left without another word.
—
Haibara closed the front door of her house behind her, exchanged her shoes for slippers, then padded over to sit on the couch beside Kaito. He was absently petting her cat, who seemed entirely pleased with the attention despite the turbulent storm clouds swirling about the teen who was scowling furiously at the wall.
Haibara said nothing, but pointedly removed the bug he'd placed on her shoulder and held it out to him. He accepted it with a huff.
"Just a 'dumb joke', huh?" he muttered incredulously, barely audible. "He puts up with me because he feels bad? We're only spending time together because of that contract? I treat everyone like that? Is he serious?"
"Probably not," Haibara answered, mildly amused. "I suspect most of what you just heard was Kudou-kun simply being embarrassed."
"Ugg!" Kaito gave up petting the cat in favor of raking his hands through his hair in frustration. "I'm not trying to embarrass him!" he complained. "I just wish–" he seemed to think better of whatever he'd been about to say, and turned his face away from her to hide his expression.
"Whatever it is you want, I'm sure it can only happen through proper communication," she replied airily, scooping Fuwa-san into her lap. "Kudou-kun is remarkably dense; if you want him to take a hint, you'll have to tell him directly exactly what you mean, probably multiple times."
Kaito hid his reaction carefully, but she sensed a slight shift in his posture indicating discomfort. She smirked, knowing she must've hit the nail on the head, and pushed forward.
"In fact," she added, smiling in self-satisfaction about how helpful she was being, "I can't say that I entirely blame him for concluding that you're not serious. You've always been excessively flirtatious in your alter ego, which, of course, was not serious. Even if you don't do that as a civilian, he has no way of knowing that unless you tell him."
She waited smugly for his response, but when he remained silent, she realized he needed more convincing and continued. "There are two ways to hide one's feelings, Kuroba-kun. The first is to be coy and evasive, hiding them outright. The second is to obscure them through exaggeration and jokes. I imagine you chose the second option because it's a more natural fit for you and matches your skill set better, but the result is the same. You ought to confess your feelings plainly, and make sure that he understands that you're serious."
There, she'd made her point. She lifted her chin victoriously and waited for him to acknowledge her intelligence. Or, if he were to protest, she had several more points she could still use to convince him. Or he might complain about her knowing too much but secretly take her advice anyway. Or he may ask for her help. She would accept any of those outcomes.
But after a painfully long time had passed with no answer of any kind, she decided to increase the pressure to make sure that he understood the severity of the situation. "Kuroba-kun, if you're not willing to actually confess to him, then perhaps you're not serious about him after all? Or could it be that you lack the courage to be honest with him? Either way, you have no right to complain that he hasn't responded to your half-hearted attempts at fake flirting. It's your own fault that you've led him on like this without confessing, and you need—"
"That's enough." His tone was colder than she'd ever heard from him before. She looked up in shock and flinched. Seeing such a frigid expression on someone normally so warm and amicable felt deeply wrong and unsettling, and it sent a chill down her spine.
He got up but didn't turn around, standing with his back toward her. "You need to learn some tact, Ojousan. People aren't going to want to be around you anymore if that's how you talk to them," he said stiffly.
The floor seemed to drop out from under her. She felt disoriented and out of her depth. This was a new problem for her. The Professor was the very first friend she'd ever made in her life, and he was impossible to offend. The children likewise never seemed upset with her as long as she agreed to play with them. And Conan, for all his complaints, was fiercely loyal to anyone who put up with him, so their friendship had never actually been in doubt. Never before had she been in danger of losing a friend. She swallowed hard. "Kuroba-kun, I—"
"And besides!" he interrupted, spinning on his heel to face her, smiling wildly and throwing his arms out in a show of enthusiasm. "You're completely wrong! This is all part of a deliberate strategy to win him over slowly!"
"Huh?" she asked dumbly, too anxious to formulate a real response.
"He needs time to warm up to the idea first," Kaito explained, in a tone carefully constructed to mimic his usual carefree one. "Just like we had to be friends for so very long before he was willing to consider the idea of us being friends. So I'm giving him time to get used to this idea now, and then I shall steal his heart when the time is right! I am a world-class thief, after all, and the harder something is to steal, the more worked up I get! So unless you know more about how to pull a successful heist than I do, I will not be needing your opinion on the matter, thank you very much."
Haibara nodded meekly, still feeling so sick to her stomach from the rebuke that she didn't have the brainpower to process the actual meaning of his words. Instead, she was only worried about whether she needed to apologize, if he was still angry, or if they were still friends.
"See you later~" he waved over his shoulder as he grabbed his shoes and left.
That was a good sign, right? If they were going to see each other later, did that mean they were still ok? He didn't sound angry anymore, so maybe everything would be alright? She shivered.
"I'm sorry," she whispered to the empty room.
As if in response, Fuwa-san arched his back and rubbed his face against her, purring. She hugged him and tried to shake the awful heaviness that refused to leave the pit of her stomach.
—
Kaito picked up the menu and relaxed in the sunshine of the outdoor table at the café where he was supposed to meet Conan and Hattori.
Ok, so technically it was the café where Hattori had wanted to have lunch with Conan, but, naturally, Conan had told Kaito about it, so here he was. Better yet, the café happened to be near a museum that had a special exhibit on race cars this week, so after lunch, Kaito planned to take his little detective out for one of their not-dates. This was shaping up to be a lovely day indeed.
Kaito had arrived at the café early, intentionally so, and really should wait before ordering anything. On the other hand, if he ordered that chocolate cake now, he could probably destroy all evidence that it had ever existed before anyone even arrived.
"You." Hattori interrupted his thoughts by unceremoniously slamming his hands down on the table and glaring at him.
"Me~" Kaito agreed, setting the menu down. The cake would have to wait. Then again, this conversation was the reason he'd come early in the first place.
"I figured out why our introduction went so badly yesterday," Hattori announced, part accusatory and part smug.
"Tell me," he answered. He knew what detectives were like: ultimately, they just wanted opportunities to show off their deductions. Even if you'd done something to royally irritate a detective (hypothetically speaking, of course), you could extinguish most of their anger simply by giving them an opportunity to lay out all their deductions proving that you were the culprit behind the prank (as a random, non-specific example). So Kaito interlaced his hands in front of himself and waited patiently for Hattori's explanation.
"Ya see," he began, as expected, "when ya introduced yerself to me yesterday, every word of it was a lie or at best a half-truth, right from the start! Yer not just 'Kuroba Kaito' and yer not just Kudou's 'friend.' In fact, ya shouldn't have been introducing yerself in the first place, since we've actually already met," Hattori said, leaning in closer and dropping his voice to a forceful whisper, "Isn't that right, Kaitou KID?"
The trademark smirk Kaito gave him in response was confirmation enough. "Bravo! How did you figure me out, Tantei-han?"
"There were lots of clues, of course, but ultimately, it was that kiss."
"Really, from that? Please, do explain~"
"See, I've known Kudou for a long time, longer than you have, and if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that he would never let anyone do that to him. Ya should see how much he freaks out if I so much as pat him on the shoulder, and I'm his best friend! But he wasn't even upset about being kissed! It had me totally stumped, 'till I remembered that celebrity crush of his. An' everything made sense after that," Hattori sat down across from him, crossed his arms, and huffed in smug satisfaction.
"Very impressive deductions! But what's that about his 'celebrity crush'?" Kaito asked, trying not to sound too eager to hear more.
"Pleeeaase!" Hattori rolled his eyes. "I heard about that whole Singapore thing! Any idiot could piece it together from that, even if there wasn't plenty of other evidence too."
Almost any idiot could piece it together, Kaito thought ruefully, but outwardly he just grinned. "Well, you figured me out, alright!"
"So what's the deal with the two of ya? I thought he was dating that 'neechan of his?" Hattori asked suspiciously.
"Oh, get real!" Kaito countered. "What do they even have in common? Besides, his entire life revolves around solving cases, which she hates, and she is the only person he actively tries to keep away from cases. You really thought that was going to work out?"
"…huh." Hattori cleared his throat and fidgeted uncomfortably as he pondered this new information. "So… does she know? About, eh… you?"
"Of course~," he answered pleasantly. "We had a lovely conversation just the other day. She was pretty relieved about the whole thing, as a matter of fact."
"Huh," he said again, clearly not sure which of his many mixed emotions he should be expressing to Kaito, the main beneficiary of this new turn of events.
"So, what about you?" Kaito jumped in to change the topic, much to the other's relief. "Have you finally confessed to your girl yet?"
"Oi oi, ya can't rush these things, ya know! I'm waitin' for the right time. It's gotta be plenty romantic, with great scenery and lightin' and all that jazz. Kudou got to confess in front of the Big Ben. I can't be outdone by that!"
"Oh, I'm flattered, Tantei-han! I had no idea you thought so highly of me, I'm touched, really, this is just the sweetest thing~!"
"Eh? What the hell are ya on about?!"
"Well, you've just told me what a high standard you have for the time and place of your confession, but since the back room of a museum in the middle of a KID heist apparently would've been good enough, I can only assume it was because of my presence! Thus, I am flattered~!"
For a brief moment, there was only the peaceful stillness of the morning and the chirping of the birds around them. Then the salt and pepper shakers crashed to the ground as Hattori lunged across the table at him, red in the face and screaming obscenities.
—
When Conan arrived at the cafe (on time) several minutes later, it was to find Kaito swaying precariously from the highest branches of the nearest tree and cackling maniacally, while still somehow dodging the rocks and pine cones and other projectiles being thrown at him from the hot-headed Osakan below.
Conan wasn't even surprised enough to manage a sigh. He merely climbed into the chair Kaito had selected, signaled for a waiter, and ordered dishes for all three of them. Fortunately, both of his idiot friends were very food-motivated people and would likely forget all about whatever prank Kaito had pulled as soon as they saw their favorite meals.
And in the meantime, he might try to sneak some candid photos of Kaito in the tree.