I'm sorry it's been almost a year. I'm sorting out the ending and then working my way backwards, I promise this will be finished at some point

Chapter Fifty Eight: Empty

In the weeks following Amriel's minor meltdown, she had started taking Jack on field trips out of the bunker without Sam or Dean's knowledge. When they weren't taking Jack on hunts, she took him to the library, a small pizza place and its neighboring ice cream parlor, and even a museum or two. They watched sunrises, sunsets, and the stars. She taught him about constellations, mythology, and the ancient Greeks and Romans. She told him about how she watched the Egyptians build pyramids and worship many gods. They stayed close, never going more than an hour's drive away, and she took every precaution she could think of to keep them hidden and warded. She always had her angel blade with her.

On their drives Amriel would answer any of Jack's questions about humanity, philosophy, and life as an angel on Earth, their voices and laughter filling the Thunderbird she had basically claimed as her own. They did mundane things like grocery shopping, or pick wildflowers in the field surrounding the bunker. A few afternoons were spent watching video tutorials on flower arranging.

Dean asked why there were bouquets springing up around the bunker, and they would look at one another and shrug, saying that they didn't know. Sam asked to join in the next time they picked flowers, so on their next outing Amriel made him let her braid some into his hair.

She could tell that Jack liked their small adventures, and he would always thank her for their outing every time they got back, promising that he wouldn't tell either of the brothers.

Their fun came to an end after Dean caught them coming back after a trip to pick up art supplies. Jack had mentioned wanting to learn to paint, and Amriel decided that they'd learn together.

Dean had been furious, and reprimanded them for being irresponsible and stupid. Amriel fought back, saying that Jack needed to see and experience life. He couldn't stay cooped up in a basement for his entire existence.

Their arguement echoed through the bunker as Sam tried to run interference, but neither of them would back down.

Amriel tried to explain, telling him they'd been careful and she was more than capable of protecting them if something happened.

"You can protect him? You're not even at full power, how do you expect to keep him safe from anything?" Dean had asked in a condescending voice she was all too familiar with, and in return, Amriel had twisted his arm behind his back until he apologized.

"Who do you think you're talking to, Dean? I'm an angel, and full power or not, I'm stronger than you," she teased, and the roll of his eyes she got in response meant that their fight was done.

Once their outings were officially declared over and they were stuck in the bunker again, Amriel and Jack had to keep themselves entertained in other ways.

She taught him how to preen, spending hours with him in the bathroom, wings visible to each other as Amriel walked him through proper care and maintenance since he could still use them to fly. Jack's wings were enormous and a lovely, deep black in color, with a few golden feathers throughout that matched his eyes when he used his powers. They suited him nicely, in her opinion.

Music filled the space, the tinny sound coming from the radio Dean used for his "shower solos", as he called them, and Amriel danced around Jack's extended wings, her own following behind her delicately as she helped him with places he couldn't reach.

It was nice to not have to hide them away from human eyes for a change, and she liked teaching Jack something she actually knew about. She had difficulties explaining some human routines to him, but this was second nature to her.

"Your wings look washed out," Jack mused as he watched her fuss with his feathers, and she stilled, her eyes connecting with his in the mirror briefly before returning to her task. She knew he wasn't being unkind, he was just making an observation, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

"They… they used to be a vibrant emerald that faded to white, before I shared my grace with Castiel," she explained, noting that emerald was the color of May. "After we shared our grace, the white feathers turned black, like his, and some emerald appeared in his wings. It was a visual representation of our exchange. We complemented one another, so those in Heaven would know we were paired in such a meaningful way."

Amriel paused momentarily, sadness consuming her before she said, "The feathers that were black turned gray after he died, and the emerald isn't as bright as it used to be."

"I- I'm sorry you lost him, Amriel- it- it's my fault," Jack told her in a soft voice, his gaze now on the floor. "He wanted to protect me from Lucifer."

"It isn't your fault," she answered firmly, tugging on his feathers a little bit so he'd look back up at her. "Castiel did what he thought was right. I didn't always agree with him, but keeping you safe from Lucifer was right. I'm sure he didn't regret it."

They were quiet aside from the soft music coming from the stereo, before Jack finally nodded and said, "From what you've told me about him, I don't think he did either."

Amriel felt her chest tighten, more than one emotion filling her in that moment. She was proud that Jack was able to infer that about Cas without having met him, based solely on what he's heard from herself and the Winchesters. She was sad that he wouldn't get to know Castiel's selflessness for himself. But mostly, she was excited to be able to share those stories with him.

"What do you say we play some board games? Cas was ridiculously good at Monopoly, so I had to stop playing with him," Amriel laughed, moving to stand in front of Jack so they weren't making eye contact in the mirror. "One can only preen so much."

"Board games sound great, Elle," he nodded, and Amriel froze for a second before shaking it off. Jack could call her that if he wanted to.

"C'mon, I know where Dean hid the games last time Cas beat us all. You didn't hear it from me, but Dean's a bit of a sore loser."

Castiel had been wandering aimlessly through the vast emptiness, trying to find a way out, or something… anything that would give him a clue as to where he was and why he was alone.

A viscous, humanoid form raised from the dark, startling the angel. It skittered around him, not quite forming fully and Cas narrowed his gaze, trying to catch a glimpse of it.

"I know you're there. I can feel you," he stated simply, not sure if it would understand him.

"Hello," a voice said from behind him, and Castiel whirled around to see that the entity had shifted into a perfect copy of himself.

"What are you?" Cas asked, wondering why he had never seen anything like this before.

"Oh, I'm just your friendly neighborhood cosmic entity," it told him in an accent that was far different than his own.

"Why do you look like me?" he prodded.

"Oh, yes. Yes, yes. Well, I show up in my real form, and you freak out, rip out your own eyes, et cetera," it explained with a dramatic roll of the eyes. "That would be embarrassing, wouldn't it? For the both of us."

"What is this place?" Cas knew he had to get all of the answers he could while the creature was giving them.

"Oh yes, excellent question! You see, before God and Amara, creation, destruction, Heaven, Hell, your precious little Earth, what was there?" the entity asked curiously.

"Nothing," Castiel answered, and the entity nodded.

"Yes, that's right. Nothing. Nothing but Empty, and you are soaking it in," it waved its arms out in a sweeping gesture. "Angels and demons, you all come here when you die. You're not like most of the angels that have come here. You're not all… you."

"Every angel that has ever died is here?" Cas glanced around, looking for a sign that they were near, but finding none.

"Yes, sleeping an endless peaceful sleep," the entity told him before shooting him a glare. "You know I… I was sleeping, too. Hey, uh, since we're pals, there's something I've gotta know. I've just gotta ask. Why are you awake? 'Cause, fun fact— in all of forever, nothing ever wakes up here. And second fun fact— when you woke up, I woke up, and I don't like being awake. So, what's up, smart guy?"

"I… I don't know," Cas said with a frown.

"Well, think!" it snapped at him.

"Amriel and the Winchesters… They must've made a deal or something," Castiel struggled to think of an answer, unsure of whether they would make a deal or not.

"No. No, no, no. Not with me, and I'm— I'm the only one that has any pull here. Not Heaven, not Hell, Not G-O-D himself. So think harder," it poked Cas in the forehead, pushing him back slightly. "Rack that perky little brain of yours."

"Stay away from me!" Cas seethed, and the entity shook its head.

"Okay, fine. I'll rack it for you."

The entity put a hand on Castiel's head, using its powers to go through his mind, making him scream in pain.

The next thing Cas knew, he was on the floor and breathing heavily.

"What did… What did you just do to me?" he asked, glaring up at the creature.

"I— I read your mind, such as it is."

Cas asked the entity what it wanted from him, only to be told that it wanted him to shut up. The mere act of Castiel being awake in this place was causing the cosmic entity a massive amount of pain.

"If you can't sleep, I can't sleep, yeah? And I like sleep. I need sleep," it scowled at him.

"Then get rid of me," Cas said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh, I should, should I?" it raised an eyebrow at him, crossing its arms over its chest.

"Send me back to Earth," he demanded.

"Or… I throw you so deep into the Empty that you can't bother me anymore, hmm?"

"Except you know that won't work, or you would've done it already," Cas knew there was no way the creature could just get rid of him in this place with him being awake. "Send. Me. Back."

"That's not part of the deal," it answered with a shake of its head. "No, no. Besides, you don't want to go back. You have nothing to return to on Earth."

"I have a wife!" Castiel growled, "I have to return to her. She needs me! Sam and Dean need me!"

"You can save it. I have tiptoed through all your little tulips. Your memories, your little feelings, yes. I know what you hate," its voice lowered to a whisper. "I know who you love, what you fear… There is nothing for you back there. No. Here, let me show you."

The entity touched Castiel again, ripping a scream from him as it showed flashbacks of Metatron stealing his grace, Lucifer killing him, walking to the river after the Leviathans had taken over his body, releasing the souls he stole from Purgatory, and himself, lying on the floor, seemingly dead after returning all of those souls.

It showed him Amriel, dead on the bed in the abandoned house they had shared when he was human, finding her after she had been tortured by Urim, discovering that she was being possessed by Lucifer, and the look on her face as he returned through the rift and was stabbed- the look on her face as she watched him die in front of her.

Castiel was still yelling as the entity kicked him in the side.

"Come on, Castiel! Wouldn't you rather be a fond memory than a constant, festering disappointment?" the monster shifted and suddenly he was staring up at Amriel as it asked him, now using an accented version of her voice. "Do you really think she is going to wait for you? That she hasn't moved on already? At least now I know why you're not like every typical angel in this place. Only a few have a shared grace, and they always died one right after the other. Fascinating. I wonder how she's doing without your half of grace. Perhaps she'll be joining us soon enough."

"Amriel loves me. She's most likely devastated. I have to go back to her," Cas said firmly, only to be kicked again. "She will not come here."

"That's too bad. You're going to be here for a very long time," the creature told him as it stroked his head and back, trying to get him to sleep. "Let's just try and sleep. Think about it. Infinite peace, yes? No regrets, no pain."

"You can prance, and you can preen, and you can scream and yell and remind me of my failings, but somehow, I'm awake," Cas spoke confidently as he slowly stood up, "And I will stay awake and I will keep you awake until we both go insane."

The entity punched Castiel, but he kept talking.

"I will fight you, fight you, and fight you for… ever. For eternity."

It shook its head angrily, and Cas knew he had won.

"Release me!" Castiel demanded, taking a step to the entity so they were toe to toe, and then everything went black.

Castiel woke up in the middle of a blackberry field, unsure of exactly where he was. He looked up into the sky, squinting at the sun and smiling to himself before closing his eyes and basking in the sunshine. He got up slowly, getting his bearings before standing and rolling his shoulders. He had to get in contact with Amriel and the Winchesters, so he started walking.

Jack and Amriel learned how to play every board game they could get their hands on.

Sam and Dean were out on the road somewhere, and the house arrestees were playing Jenga with their powers. Amriel found that using creative, pressure-free ways to hone Jack's powers worked best. The game gave him a specific task to focus on and improve, and she had learned that he was just as competitive as she was when it came to games.

"And that's how I saved Sam from a ghoul-" Amriel was in the middle of telling Jack stories of her short time on Earth as he focused on sliding a block out of the tower when she felt the wind get knocked out of her, causing her to bump into the table and knock the tower over, blocks flying everywhere.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked, standing from his seat and rushing around the table as she tried to catch her breath. "You- your eyes glowed white for a second."

"I- I'm not sure. Something's different," Amriel finally got herself together and calmed down, assessing herself. "I feel… Better? Better than I have in weeks."

She shrugged, chalking it up to some side effect of losing half of her shared grace before reassembling the tower and starting their game over.

Amriel was glad she had been keeping herself busy with Jack, and surprisingly it kept her mind off of Castiel. He was always in her thoughts, just not as obviously as he had been before she'd started truly looking after Jack.

When she finally decided that she would help him adjust to life as best as she could, she dove into teaching him about the internet and how to use a phone, but she also taught him about Heaven and the angels. It was almost therapeutic for her to talk about her family, but she tiptoed around stories that involved the times she spent alone with Cas when he was human. She thought it was important for Jack to know both sides of his life as a nephilim, and she loved retelling stories from her eons of existence, but she wasn't quite ready to share details of her short time with her greatest love.

Amriel noticed the way Jack was staring at her as they played their game, curiosity all over his face that made her feel self conscious, so she quickly distracted him with another story, "I recently saw a film called Jurassic Park, which is about dinosaurs… Let me tell you, they got a lot wrong when it comes to the creatures."

While Amriel was telling Jack stories about the creation of Earth at the bunker, Dean had his brother captive in the Impala, a small smirk on his face as he watched the road ahead of them.

They had just finished a tough hunt, and Dean was about to ease the tension and maybe rile Sam up a little bit in the process.

"You know, Blondie's technically a widow now…" Dean said casually, tapping on the steering wheel as he spoke.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Sam asked, closing the book he had been reading and staring at his brother.

"C'mon, Sam. You can't tell me you don't have a thing for Amriel? I could tell the minute you saw her for the first time," Dean told him. "She's blonde, attractive, socially inept… of course you'd be into her."

"Yeah, well I thought we had a connection, but she shut it down after I kissed her. Plus there's that whole being Cas' soulmate thing or whatever," Sam grumbled. "She's devastated, Dean. What kind of friend would I be to try and take advantage of her?"

"Look, all I'm saying is that you've been very… helpful to her in her time of need," Dean said, "Every time she has a meltdown you're right there."

"That's because she's never experienced loss like this before. I'm just trying to help her through it. We don't know what losing her connection to Cas did to her-"

Dean's ringing phone cut off whatever Sam was about to say, as he picked up the unknown number.

"Hello?" He asked, his eyes widening when he heard the voice on the other end of the line. "Yeah, we can come get you ASAP. Just sit tight."

Dean hung up and tossed the phone into his lap, sending his brother a pitying look, "Sorry Sammy, looks like you're gonna have to keep pining for Blondie after all. That was Cas— he's alive."

"He's alive?" Sam asked incredulously. "How?"

"Dunno. We'll find out when we go pick him up," Dean glanced over his shoulder and made sure no cars were around before making a u-turn on the empty highway.

The Impala drove slowly down an alley and Dean turned off the headlights, putting the car in park as they pulled up to a payphone. Unable to believe his own eyes, he got out of the car and stared at the figure next to the phone.

The figure turned around, and the brothers saw that it was in fact Castiel, back from the dead, backwards tie and all.

"Cas, is that really you?" Dean asked, staring at the angel with an incredulous look on his face.

"No. You're — you're dead," Sam shook his head in disbelief.

"Yeah, I was. But then I… annoyed an ancient cosmic being so much that he sent me back," Cas answered, looking between the brothers before glancing behind them to the Impala, looking for something. "Where's Amriel?"

"Back at the bunker," Sam answered.

Dean smiled and hugged Cas, saying that he was glad to have him back. Sam hugged him too, and then he asked how long he had been gone for.

"Too damn long," Dean told him, and Sam asked where he had been, asking if he was in Heaven.

"No. No, I was in the Empty," Cas answered.

"Really?" Dean asked, cocking his head to the side curiously.

"Apparently, it's where angels and demons go when they die," Castiel told the brothers.

"So… What's it like?" Sam asked, and Cas frowned as he thought back.

"Well, it's dark… and nothing. I was sleeping, and then I heard a voice that said my name, and I woke up. I thought you had done something," Castiel looked at each of them, almost accusingly.

"No, we… We didn't even think we could bring you back," Dean shook his head. "I- I talked it over with Amriel a while ago, and she wasn't sure either."

"So who was it? Chuck— uh, God?" Sam asked.

"No, he has no power in the Empty," Cas answered, shuffling his feet, eager to get to Amriel.

"Well, then who does?" Dean looked from the angel to his brother.

"Jack," Sam told them, remembering how his brother had told him that Amriel would be better if Cas was back.

"C'mon, let's get back to the bunker. We can figure it out there," Dean motioned toward the Impala, and the three climbed into their usual seats before they were off.

"How has Amriel been?" Cas asked from the back seat, watching a look pass between the brothers before Sam finally answered.

"She was a mess, man. Something happened to her grace when you died, and she's been different because of it," Sam shook his head, staring out the windshield as he spoke. "I think she's coping as best she can."

"You've been helping her, yes?" Castiel said, wanting to make sure they hadn't abandoned her. "She isn't the most forthcoming with her emotions…"

"We've been doing what we can," Dean answered. "She's been keeping herself busy with Jack. He's kind of… latched onto her since he knows she's one of the people he chose to raise him. It's weird."

"Yes, Amriel and I were supposed to take care of Jack together. I'm glad she's been there…" Cas trailed off, thinking about how he had missed her so much. "I can't wait to see her."

"Yeah, about that… We should probably ease her into this." Sam told him carefully. "She's been grieving and now you're gonna show back up out of the blue."

"You didn't tell her that I'm alive?" Cas snapped, his deep voice almost a growl.

"It's not really something you should explain over the phone…" Dean said, and Castiel shook his head and huffed in annoyance. "Simmer down, we're only two hours away from the bunker."