The Underground was cruel to anyone who had the misfortune of being born there. It often felt like a world of its own, isolated from the world above with little sunlight, high crime rates, and poverty. It was a place of despair that only few ever escaped.
For a mission, Mikasa and Levi was assigned to return to the Underground.
Mikasa was hesitant about going to the Underground, but she trust Levi enough to stay motivated. As they make their way down through the tunnels, Mikasa looks around in awe at her surroundings, seeing how small the spaces there.
She glanced to look at Levi's face, cold and composed as ever. He looked around at the spaces as well and seemed a bit nostalgic. This was his childhood home in the one place he had always known, the memories and pain was always near the surface though.
She was slightly taken aback by Levi's sternness, but she knows that the situation they're in requires precision and a calm head. She takes a deep breath of the warm and filthy air and collects herself, concentrating on moving as fast and smoothly as possible. Despite their surroundings, she almost felt like she couldn't breathe well.
Levi knew exactly what Mikasa was feeling. In this moment, they had a job to do and had to stick to it. They were doing important work and this took focus. They had to move fast and carefully in the narrow streets.
"Guards ahead. We might need to use our maneuver gear or the element of surprise to get past." Levi suddenly says, stopping on his tracks.
Mikasa nods, taking another deep breath. She trusts Levi's leadership skills and knows he'll be able to guide them out of this situation. She scans their surroundings, searching for the two guards he mentioned. She gets a glimpse of their shadows in the dim lighting, but they don't appear to be aware of their presence. "But we're from the Survey Corps, don't you think they'll make an exception?" She whispered.
"They do not give two shits about us being soldiers. It's their job to guard this place, so they will do so by any means necessary." Levi kept his gaze to the guards, who are on alert now and he could see them begin to approach. He motioned for her to get her gear ready just in case things turn ugly.
She grips her maneuver gear tightly, feeling her adrenaline spike as the guards approach. She's ready for anything -- fight or flight -- but she's also acutely aware that she's relying on Levi to guide her through this situation. He had once told her how ruthless the residents of the Underground can be and she wonders what will become of them should they get caught.
The two guards are close now. They could hear their footsteps getting louder as they walked through the narrow streets. Levi's body tensed up and he prepared for an attack. "Get ready to fight. Do not hesitate for a second." He whispered to Mikasa.
Mikasa nods solemnly, her sweaty hands still gripped tightly around her maneuver gear. She readies herself, waiting for the guards to appear, ready to strike. She looks over at Levi, hoping he'll be able to lead them through this.
The guards were almost close enough to grab when Levi made a quick move before she could even move an inch. He slashed with his blades and quickly disposed of one, the other guard got to close to Mikasa and before he could attack her, Levi quickly jumped in between and slashed the second guard's neck too. The blood was flowing around and Mikasa could see Levi was in rage. She was stunned by his moves, she stayed still as the guard's blood seeps onto her clothing. He looked at her for a split second, his eyes were dark and he was cold as ice. "We cannot take any more risks. From here on we are silent. There are more guards ahead."
Levi had to stay in this cold and distant mindset. If he was going to survive this mission he had to stay focused. Still the memory of what these guards had done came to surface. The suffering in the Underground had created this monster and he did not even hesitate to kill them. Once more he turned back to Mikasa and looked at her for a short moment. He looked exhausted and his blood-stained blade hung at his side.
"Let's move ahead." He said coldly and continued leading the way.
She silently followed Levi as they continued on their mission, alert to their surroundings. Although, her mind had begun to wander back to the way Levi had looked at her just a moment ago, she wondered what he was thinking just then. She could see the toll that living in this harsh environment had taken on Levi. Despite his coldness, Mikasa couldn't help but worry about Levi's wellbeing and hoped that this mission would turn out okay for both of them.
"Are you okay?" She asked in a soft voice.
"I'm fine, don't worry." Levi's voice was cold as ice, as he thought that she might probably be worrying about him. He didn't want to show any weakness. He didn't want to think about memories from the past that still haunted his mind.
"Are you sure you're fine, Levi?" she managed to ask. "You seem... different."
Levi's face changed once more. It was now filled with surprise. It was like hearing his name being called by someone who had not called him for a decade.
"Different?" He paused for a moment and she could see the expression on his face change a bit as he glanced to her over his shoulder. "I'm fine. Just tired. That's all." His voice had lost much of its cold tone and was now quieter.
Mikasa let out a sigh as she saw the hint of surprise on his face in response to her comment. It was like she got the real, vulnerable Levi back for just a split second. But then her heart sank once again as he quickly brushed her concern aside, saying he was just "tired". It was obvious that there was more at play here than just simple tiredness. She wasn't the type to give up on someone. "Do you want to call out this mission for now? It's okay..."
He let out a deep sigh but then looked back at Mikasa. He knew why she wanted to call it quits. He knew how tired he was after all these years. She was right. The cold facade in him had been crumbling for just a second when she saw the true Levi.
"Mikasa..." Levi's soft tone could be heard. "I'm alright. We must continue." He looked at her and then continued walking straight ahead.
Mikasa's breath caught as she heard Levi speak her name in that reassuring tone. She knew that tone all too well. It was the one he had used whenever he wanted to reassure her that everything was okay. She wanted all of that, but she knew that at this point in time, things were completely different.
"Levi." She says quickly, knowing that any further questions would not result in good news. She grabbed his hand to stop him, and when he turned to faced her again, she touches his cheek and planted her lips to his, her eyes closed. She had never done this before, yet she only longed to be able to do this with Levi– if he had the same feelings as her that was more than being a comrade.
Levi's eyes widen. He was completely stunned and surprised by this sudden gesture. Mikasa was the last person he expected a kiss from. However, he felt something in him move when their lips touched but he did not know if that feeling was mutual.
He stood there in confusion with his face red and his eyes wide, not kissing back. He still was holding onto his blades on the contrary. He didn't know what to do or say.
Mikasa slowly pulled away just as he felt him not returning the kiss. She felt a wave of uncertainty wash over her, unsure if she'd done the right thing or not and hoping that Levi hadn't interpreted her gesture as something that it wasn't.
His reaction shocked her. She had always thought that deep down maybe he had feelings for her too. But now when she finally acted on them, he stood there with a confused and neutral expression. Mikasa did not look to his eyes and felt a wave of emotion surge through her as she realized what she had just done.
Levi's head was spinning in a confused mix of emotions and uncertainty. A million questions raced through his head, but they were all too much to answer right now. He did not know how to react. His body was tense and he was still holding tightly onto his blades. He still had not responded to her kiss or even said a word. He still stood there in complete shock, not moving at all.
Mikasa stood still as well, feeling as if time had stopped altogether. Her heart raced as she waited for Levi to say something, but he just stood there in silence. She had no clue how he felt about her or about what she just did. For all she knew, her feelings might have been one-sided.
"S-Sorry..." She took a step back from him, feeling that he might've been uncomfortable. She felt a sense of anxiousness rise within her, and she has a feeling that this bold move might change something in their relationship.
The tension was thick in the air between them. Mikasa could see that Levi was still in shock. His expression was still clouded with confusion, a stark and silent contrast to the cold demeanor he usually exhibited. He had never been kissed like that before and now he did not know how to act. He still didn't say a word after Mikasa's apology. He simply looked at her, silently.
Mikasa was beginning to feel a bit of regret for what she had done, even though she knew she had just been following her heart. She was starting to worry that perhaps she hadn't read the situation correctly. She felt a pit in her stomach as she thought about how this dynamic might affect their mission going forward. The silence hung in the air and she got the feeling that she had changed their relationship forever, just not in a good way.
She could see the confusion and discomfort in his eyes and it made her wish she could turn back time and take back that kiss. She felt ashamed as he continued to stare at her with his distant gaze. She wondered whether he'd had a change of heart. It was so hard to read him in this state, she felt like she'd done something terribly wrong.
"Levi..." She cuts off the silence. Her confidence had gone through waves of highs and lows. Mikasa was too caught up in her own thoughts to notice that Levi was also battling a million conflicting emotions at once.
Levi's head was full of confusion. He simply could not understand how Mikasa would feel anything for him like that. He was more than comrades to her but was she starting to see him as more? He did not want to assume anything but he thought that might explain why she suddenly kissed him. Upon hearing her voice, he snapped out of his thoughts and looked back at her. He was still unsure of what had just happened and was now stuck in this awkward situation. "Huh?" He said in his usual tone but Mikasa knew there was much more going on deep inside his mind.
She took a deep breath as she struggled to find the right words. She knew there was a lot at stake here, that her words could change everything between them. Mikasa didn't want to put more pressure on Levi than he already had, but this whole situation was making her feel awkward and uncomfortable in her own skin.
"Levi, you don't have to say anything, but..." She paused, considering the many possibilities that could come from this conversation. "Did you feel anything when I kissed you?"
She stared at his emotionless face, his cold demeanor had taken over once again. Levi was still processing the situation, he had heard her words but he did not want to answer them. She couldn't help but feel sad and worried in that moment, because now that her feelings were out in the open, the awkward silence was getting to her. She felt herself sink deeper into regret, thinking that she might have ruined everything by making that move.
"Sorry. I'm just confused. I did not expect that." He replied, his body was tense and his face was full of regret and discomfort.
Mikasa could feel her heart sank as she heard Levi's reply. She couldn't tell if that meant that he had felt something, or if he just wanted to let her down easy after the kiss. He hadn't answered the question directly, but she got the sense that he hadn't felt the same way that she had. And now that she had taken the initiative, it seemed that he only made things more difficult for the both of them.
"It's okay." She nodded and forced a small smile, trying to put on a brave face. "We can forget about that." She didn't want to make things even more complicated between them, especially when they were on a mission together.
Levi also did not want to go on with this conversation anymore. The whole situation was very difficult for him as well. He did not expect this outcome at all. He had no idea what he felt. All he could do right now was to focus on the mission.
"Yes. We have a mission to accomplish. Let's focus on that." He said with an expressionless tone. He truly wanted to forget about that kiss right now.
Mikasa was feeling a bit overwhelmed by Levi's coldness towards her, he was clearly not in the mood to address what just happened, yet she didn't want to force the issue when he was already dealing with so much. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that it may have been a huge mistake to let her emotions take the best of her.
"Right..." She replied back, her tone still feeling awkward and tense, feeling the disappointment and regret wash over her. "We should focus on the mission."
With that, she swallowed the lump in her throat and turned away. She tried to clear her head and focus on what really mattered instead of the chaos in her heart, to quickly move on from what had just happened.
Levi nodded briefly in response to her short answer before he started to walk again. Mikasa felt her heart begin to sink to her knees as she followed behind him in silence, her eyes focused on the ground. Their mission had started to feel a bit more difficult already. Levi did not know what to do or say at this moment. He was disappointed, angry, ashamed, and a lot more. He was feeling a lot of different feelings and he was very confused right now, he did not like this distance between them either. He did not want to lose the trust that had been built over the years just because of this mistake. He just knew that now they had a new dynamic and they probably would never be the same as they had been before.
Mikasa knew that this whole situation had been too much for Levi, she could see it in the way he tried to focus on their mission instead of confronting her. She didn't know when her views for him had suddenly changed, but there was no denying that she had developed romantic feelings for him. She had no idea what he was truly thinking or feeling, but she understood that things were complicated right now and couldn't blame him for trying to stay focused.
She could feel the awkward tension between them growing with every step. She had never felt this kind of distance between them before, and it was like a knife digging through her heart. She felt like the only thing she could do right now was give Levi the space he needed, and that meant keeping her thoughts and feelings to herself. Things had gone in a very different direction than she had thought. It was like they were strangers.
The uncomfortable situation filled the tunnels as they walked forward. Both Mikasa and Levi did not say another word to each other while walking. There was no doubt that the kiss had changed something between them.
Having gotten used to the silence shared between them, Mikasa and Levi continued moving forward without saying another word, but with their minds full of thoughts about the situation they were currently in. Their dynamic was so different now, and it seemed like there was no way to go back to the way things were. Levi seemed even colder than before, as if he were trying to avoid her at all costs. Mikasa felt a sense of regret wash over her as she recalled her impulsive action once again. She could feel that the air between herself and Levi was tense, it was like they both had just hit a brick wall that they couldn't break. But neither of them wanted to acknowledge it, because they both knew that that could spell disaster for their mission.
Both their minds had all sorts of thoughts racing through them, yet neither of them dared to speak about them. The uncomfortable situation was hard to ignore but they had to focus on the thing in front of their eyes: their mission.
end