Sam found himself trudging through the woods to the Clearwater house that evening. He found his mother's home no longer welcoming, and his wolf was restless. He wanted to run again, but running into Alice and Jasper again would be too unsettling. They were here for a reason, something he was a part of, and he could not face that yet.
He stood gazing at the little house, steeling his nerve. The Clearwater house was the same as much as it was different. Seth had better things to do than mind flower beds, so they were clean, but empty. The porch light no longer shone as a beacon for all the tribal boys needing a home. It had always filled him with warmth, now it made him hollow. This had been a refuge, but now served as a reminder of everything he lost. Harry, Leah…he grimaced.
The last he'd been here was after the confrontation with the Volturi. Leah had opened the door and he'd wanted to reach out and hold her and make sure she was real. The vision he'd had of her falling into an abyss caused him to lose sleep. She hadn't invited him in though, just crossed her arms on the other side of the screen.
"Yes?" she asked politely.
Her attitude had improved tremendously since splitting from his pack, but she was still determined to put his teeth on edge when she was able. With deliberate motions, he grabbed the handle and swung the screen door open. "We need to talk."
"About what?"
"The wedding."
Her face hardened. "I'm not interested in wedding planning."
"Leah, I don't even want you there."
Hurt flashed in her eyes and he hurried to continue. "Not because I don't want you there, but you shouldn't have to be. You don't have to do this."
"Yes, I do. I can."
"Leah," he said softly. "What happened wasn't because you weren't good enough." Sam thought it cruel to ask her to take part in their wedding. The completeness of the imprint didn't absolve him of decency. As involuntary as it had been, he still noticed every time she flinched when he curled his fingers around Emily's. He had no desire to hurt her. "You have nothing to prove."
Despite his insistence, she stood by resolutely as he'd exchanged vows with Emily. He felt like they were on display, everyone in attendance aware of the backstory. Some judged, some were sympathetic, some just wanted to watch drama. It overshadowed the ceremony in a way he resented, but Emily wanted her cousin there in the way they always talked about standing by each other's side. He could see her face change halfway through, when her shoulders dropped, and she realized perhaps it wasn't a good idea. It didn't matter that she was his imprint. Leah was his first love and things could not go back to the way they were before. They would never be close again. Leah had slipped away from the celebration afterward and the next day she was in Seattle.
She was sitting on the steps, like she always was, face turned to the little bit of late afternoon sun. She didn't notice him, so he paused and watched her, leaning against Harry's truck. He stood in this exact spot the night Harry died. He'd left Bella and Jacob on the beach to head there when Leah and Sam's phasing detoured him. When he'd finally found them, it was the middle of the night so he'd taken them home before leaving again to confer with Billy and the other elders where so they could tell him what he already knew. It was 3am before he returned to the Clearwater house and Jared stood guard. The house was quiet, but Leah's light was on, and a dim light was seen in the kitchen window.
He slumped against Harry's truck. "Did Bella get home okay?"
Jared nodded.
His eyes flitted to Leah's window. "Harry's dead."
Jared's face was one of shock before crumpling, and Sam shoved past him. "Fucking shit!" he roared, slamming his fist into a trunk. His scream echoed and Jared was there, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Not here, man."
Sam was suddenly exhausted. He slid to his haunches and covered his face with his hands, shoulders heaving. "I knew this would happen," he sobbed.
Jared said nothing, perhaps not understanding what he meant, but stood over him silently allowing him a few minutes before nudging him. "C'mon. Not here."
Sam allowed himself to be pulled to his feet and looked back only once and his eyes met Leah's through her window where she was watching them. Her hair was wet, the tangles from when he'd found her crouched in the woods combed out. It was the last time he saw her hair long. He watched her until she let the curtain fall and disappear.
A whole decade separated that moment from this one. A whole decade filled with separate moments, separate memories, separate friends…. moments that had nothing to do with each other. Moments not shared with the person they once thought would share everything. It still brought him grief, even though he had lived a happy, fulfilled life. Leah always ripped open his wounds.
Sam furiously wiped at the tears he hadn't known had fallen and backed away. He found himself wandering over here, but for what? Comfort? He no longer had the right. Whatever was coming, he would face alone. He would spare her the pain of bringing more struggles to her door.
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Leah rolled over and watched Paul. He was handsome. He knew it. He'd earned himself a reputation before Rachel. He was loyal though once committed. They had waded into this carefully though-for himself and Willa. "Stop staring," he murmured, and she grinned, knowing he would be moving to the couch soon. They spent most of their time at Leah's, the stayovers becoming more frequent, but Paul still slipped back downstairs before Willa woke to keep a line of separation. He didn't want Willa bounding into bed with them in the mornings until he was sure this wouldn't end in heartbreak.
Leah swallowed at the guilt.
Paul groaned with his eyes still closed and sought her out, pulling her against him. "I'm going to head out," he said against her hair.
She nodded, unable to speak.
He didn't notice her mood, sitting up and reaching for his shirt. "What do you say we go out for breakfast?" he asked, pulling it over his head. "I've been promising Willa waffles."
She nodded when he looked back at her. He leaned back over the bed and kissed her, grinning. "See you in a bit."
He closed the door behind her gently and she knew she would be smelling brewing coffee in a few minutes. He rose much earlier than she, which shocked her at first. He always struck her as the type needing to be dragged out of bed. She smiled again a few minutes later after rolling over and heard Seth's bedroom door creak open. He was working his second of four nights and so Willa had grinned broadly when she' realized she would be sleeping in a big bed. A little giggle confirmed Willa was ready to greet the day.
Begrudgingly, she stood and pulled on her cut offs, staring out the window in the direction of the Uley house. She knew Sam was there yesterday; but when he'd turned back, she hadn't stopped him. She was waiting for Paul and Willa and when they pulled up a few minutes later, she smiled broadly and waved. They'd spent the evening playing games in the living room and making s'mores on the stove and she wished she could say she hadn't thought of him again until now, but she couldn't.
"Morning, Lee-Lee."
Leah grinned and turned around. Willa's little face peaked around the door before she pushed it open. Leah hauled her into her arms. "Morning. You sleep well?"
Willa giggled again and Leah hugged her before setting her down. "Go on."
The little girl disappeared again, and Leah followed, sparing one glance to the window before shutting the door behind her.
