New Start Plus: in spaaaaace!

by omaster43

Nick Walters and his merry band of misfits are back with a story about helping Shepard and crew fight giant eldritch robot abominations, most likely through Dumb magic and crazy shenanigans This is a continuation of my previous story, so reading that one first is recommended. but I'm not your nanny you wanna be confused that's your choice. Oc-insert, just came from Dragon age

7. Ch 7 all the pieces are on the board

Chapter 7

All the pieces on the board

-/-

Zura'Nul POV

"Why is this shirt so long?" I asked, twisting around, watching the shirt flitter around me, it was thin and reached my shins, it even came with a cute little hat~, all in my clan's markings.

"It's called a nightshirt," Ms. Dagna answered, wearing her own shirt.

"It feels extremely liberating," Ms. Ayla giggled playing with her own nightshirt, "It even has a nice breeze." Ms. Ayla and Ms. Dagna were kind enough to join me in my new modeling career, something about doing it as a group making it easier.

"Alright ladies!" Ms. Julee came into our changing room, which was located in her private room on the third level inside Nick's expanded living room... living broom closet? What do you call a broom closet that is magically expanded to fit an entire stadium, other than a quarian's wet dream? "I hope the night shirts are to your liking~," she passed us a questionnaire, "because for the next 4 hours you'll be wearing them, testing them, and using them, please complete the questionnaire by 12, now, off with you~," she shooed us away, "Show the galaxy my brilliance!"

Walking into Nick's living room, we spotted Ms. Kasumi, using a stethoscope as she slowly turned the Vault's combination lock, with Ms. Sky and Ms. Astral watching her very closely.

"Come on~," Ms. Dagna led us quietly out the room, "She's been preparing for this day for over a week." she answered as we walked out into the crew quarters heading for the kitchen, our first test was eating breakfast.

"It's about time~," Nick called out eating his cereal, also wearing a night shirt.

"ho-ho~! Isn't someone dressed for bed~," Ms. Ayla teased. Nick gave us a flex; well, he tried, the night shirt was a bit too big, making him look a little small. "So," Ms. Ayla took the left seat next to Nick as Ms. Dagna and I sat across from him, "I see you have your own night shirt~, couldn't get someone else to dress up?"

Nick shrugged, "How do you know I didn't just want to make Zura comfortable in her new job?"

"Cuz, you like to walk around shirtless in the morning~," Dagna teased. To be fair I also don't like wearing anything in the morning, being free of my suit is an amazing thing, the smells, the textures, the wind, the carpeted floor in my room, showers! Tali'Zorah and Lia'Vael had to drag me out of the warm shower the first time, I didn't know it at the time, but I got rather violent and ended up kicking Tali'Zorah by accident, Keelah I was so embarrassed.

"My shirtless body isn't for these chumps~," Nick joked, jutting his thumb at the rest of the kitchen, before smirking down at Dagna, "That's only for you, ya miscreants~," he gave a growl the sent shivers up my spine, and he wasn't even aiming at me.

"And every unsuspecting guest you might have~," Ms. Telsa groaned, taking the right seat next to Nick holding a cup of coffee, at least that's what I think it was, the smell was familiar, I kinda like it, but to be fair you can't not like it on a working ship. Ms. Telsa liked her coffee black; I enjoyed mine with more sugar and milk, it tends to leave me a bit jumpy and tingly, but I'll be darned if it didn't wake me up.

Nick swallowed her in a hug, "Oh~, my poor Telsa!" Ms. Telsa didn't show any emotion, just sipped her coffee. "I'm sorry you had to see that~."

Ms. Telsa just rolled her eyes, "I've seen you naked before," she huffed, causing Nick to pull back like he was burned.

"What? When!?" he asked, covering his body like a young maiden.

"You weren't very sneaky last year during my mandatory vacation," she pointed out.

"I'm pretty sure I was wearing trunks the whole time~," he huffed, giving her an amused smirk.

"Not when you went skinny dipping in the mountain hot springs at night~."

Nick actually took a moment to think about that, "No~, I mean yes, my ladies and I went skinny dipping, but I was sure we were alone."

"Nope, I was in the spring next to yours, and let's just say the bushes blocking us weren't very thick." Telsa smirked, as blush dusted his cheeks. "If it helps, you were very distracted at the time~. From what I understand not many men can pleasure that many women so thoroughly."

Nick was hiding his face behind his arms at this point, trying to turn invisible, but didn't have the concentration, "P-please stop~," he whimpered, I could practically feel the heat coming off his face.

"Why? are you embarrassed?" Ms. Telsa huffed, "From what I understand, a man like yourself is considered very valuable, I would pay top gold to hire you for the night."

"Telsa!" Nick hissed, face the color of a tomato. Nick tried to escape but a smirking Ayla was blocking his exit. "Mmm, Ayla, sweetheart, can I get passed you~." I have never seen him this sheepish, and I've seen him bend in ways Fornax would be very interested in.

Ms. Ayla reached out and cupped his cheek with her left hand, rubbing his eyebrow with her thumb, "I've seen you stare down ogres, heal the sick for free, yell at kings and queens, flip off gods," who the hell is Nick Walters? "But I find this look the most beautiful, so... raw~."

"Ayla~," he whined, covering his face.

Ms. Ayla tapped her lips, Nick didn't hesitate, and gave her a kiss I've only seen in my late-night extranet searches, before getting out of Nicks way, who quickly ran off, still red faced. Ms. Ayla watched him leave the whole way, when she turned back to us, she had the biggest dopiest smile I have ever seen.

"You're the worst~," Ms. Dagna muttered, eating the rest of Nick's cereal.

"I'll apologize later~, I just~," she hugged herself shivering in delight, "Having Nick at my mercy~. I bet this is what Jak feels like all the time~," she giggled madly to herself.

"And Sereda once called you a holy maiden~," Ms. Dagna muttered, "You're as thirsty as they come."

"Is it my fault that all the people I love are tall drinks of water," Ms. Ayla huffed, "so I take a sip here and there, what's so wrong with that~, you don't complain, in fact you were rather happy last night~."

Ms. Dagna gave a huff, "I sometimes overflow, and need someone to take a chug, but you know how Nick gets when we talk about it in public, or at least where he can hear it."

"I never found Nick to be the shy type," Ms. Telsa hummed.

Ms. Dagna scoffed, "Most men don't talk about their sex life, and if they do, they don't go into detail, unless their creeps, the main reason Nick acted like that was the fact that he can't take a compliment. Well, he can't take compliments from the people he loves, he gets all flustered and sheepish. He tries to play down his accomplishments." Ms. Dagna shook her head, "I fell in love with a weirdo~… oh no~, I fell in love with a bunch of weirdos. My father warned me about this. 'Stay in the forge' he said, 'No weirdos to fall in love with in there' he said. I literally walk outside the forge for 30 seconds to get water and run right into a huge human with hulking muscles~, and glowing eyes~, and magic~, and a smile that made me weak in the knees~," she gave out a long groan, before tsking and smirking, "Baa~, What does my dad know~, he met my mom in the forge and she was crazy!" she laughed.

"YEAH!" Ms. Ayla cheered, "TO US WEIRDOS!"

"Huzzah!" Ms. Dagna joined; Ms. Telsa didn't say anything but did raise her cup in solidarity. They all turned to me... am I also a weirdo?

"Umm, yay~," I whispered. Before Ms. Dagna brought me into a side hug cheering our madness.

Now that I think about it... My mother told me not to follow a bunch of crazies into their ship... I'm sorry mom, your daughter has become a weirdo~.

-/-

Shepard POV

Exiting the elevator on level 3, I was greeted with Dogmeat and Pancake.

"Right good mornin' fellow mucker," Pancake barked. "Me man and I are gahn for a walk, so give it a go and not ter burn the ship ter the chuffin' ground wen we ain't 'ere, we know 'ow yer 'umans 'ave barney Rubble messing wiv fire."

"Umm," I caught like six of those words.

"Meat!" Dogmeat barked, tail wagging, see, him I can understand.

"yer got ter luv the daft ones, right chief? all the bloomin' muscle and all they need is a wee lovin' and they do wotever yer want~," Pancake barked, I think I need a new translator.

"Meat!" Dogmeat rubbed his head on Pancake's face licking her.

"FINE, guv! we'll cop Princess too, right, she's been copping chunky lazin' 'round that castle, put the mockers on lickin' me yer goof," she growled nipping at his ears, he nipped her back, "don't yer give it a go mister, guv! 6 pups was enough for me for a long wile, give it a go wiv Princess, she might act 'igh and mighty but she's like play wiv the bleedin' 'lesser folk'."

"Meat!"

"I don't care 'ow sexy yor voice is~, yor not gonna cop more pups into me! Blimey!"

"Meat~."

"On yor 'ead be the chuffin' consequences yer smooth bastard," she growled, Dogmeat just barked and danced around, she huffed and looked at me, "I'm bloody well tellin' yer, if yer give yor poofs an inch, right, they will 'ave a mile." Dogmeat huffed licking her ear, "'old yor 'orse, right, I'm bloody well comin'! I swear, did yer forget 'ow much barney Rubble it were the bloomin' first time! Oi!, isit? Princess is gonna kill yer, and probably me as well for bendin' ter yor wims so quickly." she huffed walking into Nick's room.

Yep, I didn't catch any of that~. Anderson might have, he tends to get a bit of a cockney accent when he gets angry. Two seconds later I watched an embarrassed Nick in a night shirt, scurrying into his room. I'm going to figure out what happened there... Later, I need to see how Thane is handling his new lease on life.

After a quick knock and permission, the first thing to greet me walking into life support was the dry heat, the ship was at a normal, if slightly cool, 70 degrees, Thane's new room was like walking out of an air-conditioned car into the dry desert of Tuchanka. My new outfit Nick gave me cooled me down to a reasonable level, Maker~, how did I live without magic?

"Thane?" I called out, Thane's new room was on the large side, and the floor was wood, except for a corner that was designated as a small gym with weights, a punching bag, and even a wooden dummy. One of the walls was filled with dozens of weapons from swords to pistols to... a large wooden club?

"Shepard," Thane answered. He was looking out his window to the Engine core.

"How are you settling on the Normandy? No one's been giving you any trouble?" I don't think I've ever talked to a Drell before, I don't think I've ever seen one, other than the one on that Spanish soap opera that Liara and Ash got hooked on, and in some of my N7 briefings.

He turned and gave me a bow before leading me to some chairs, "No, everyone's been very kind, at least to my face."

I gave a shrug, "I suppose insulting a legendary assassin to the face would be considered a bad life move," I joked.

"If I was 20 years younger maybe, but at my age most insults do very little."

"I... don't know much about Drell, I hope you don't mind if I ask you some questions?"

Thane nodded, "Understandable, the Drell people don't leave Kahje."

"Kahje? Isn't that the Hanar home world?" I asked.

"Indeed, my people lived on the dry and rocky desert planet of Rakhana, the planet didn't have a lot of resources to begin with, so when we hit the population limit, everything began to decline, quickly, it was only thanks to the kindness of the Hanar people that any of us are still alive. 200 years ago, the Hanar, seeing where the Drell people were heading, sent hundreds of ships to get people off world, but in the end, could only save just over 375,000 of my people before war broke out. Our number has just passed the two millionth mark, The Hanar have petitioned on our behalf to colonize a planet of our own, but you know the council."

"Bureaucracy ~," I answered, he just nodded. "How is the room?"

"Good, everything from the temperature to the private bathroom is beyond anything I could have asked for. Nickolas did ask me to do something in return," he reached into a locker pulling out a sign that said, 'Praying, come back later'. "Any time I pray, for me to put this sign up on the door. Does he have a problem with religion?"

"Mmm, no, but yes. Nick should have given you the basic understanding of magic, yes?" he nodded, "Right, so, one school of magic revolves around Divine worship, where a higher being gives you power for your worship and to spread their will." I summoned my holy pistol, catching his attention, as I placed it on the table between us. He pointed to it, asking permission, I nodded. He was able to lift it a few inches before it phased through his fingers falling back to the table.

He blinked, "Mmm," rubbing his fingers making sure they were solid, "Interesting, but this doesn't explain Nickolas's actions."

"Nick, according to everyone who knows him, is a lightning rod for the gods. I've seen it on Tuchanka, as the Krogan God Vaul the Protector pulled out his soul for a private conversation, he didn't tell me what happened, but I could tell Vaul wasn't gentle. I've even seen your gods, back on the train, when you were praying, a female Drell was holding you close, trying to give you comfort, there was a male Drell with a spear looking over Nassana's corpse, and one last female Drell dressed in mom jeans and a shirt my mother would wear to embarrass me, trying to get Nick's attention, she looked seconds away from clocking him into next week."

"Kalahira, Goddess of Oceans and Afterlife; Amonkira, Lord of Hunters; and Arashu, Goddess of Motherhood and Protection." I felt my very soul vibrate from their names alone. "They watch over me? I... hoped they did, but... I've done a lot of bad things Shepard... I've hurt people, good people, innocent people. For them to still watch over me..."

I stood up and put my hand on his shoulder to provide some comfort, "We aren't perfect Thane, we've all made mistakes, done things we aren't proud of, but that doesn't mean we give up," I patted him on the shoulder, "You're part of the Normandy now Thane, and we look out for one another. Never hesitate to ask for help."

"I MADE A THREE FINGER GUITAR!" Nick called out barging through the door without knocking holding up two guitars. I see he's better~. "Shepard!" he cheered "I'm teaching Thane how to use the guitar~, wanna join?"

"Do you know how to play a guitar?" I asked.

"Not really, but Slash does~," A man manifested wearing a pipe hat, black sunglasses, wild curly hair, and a look that could only be described as, 'Yeah, I'm a Rockstar, so what~?'. The illusion didn't say anything other than nod at me.

"I'm here!" Jacob called out holding his own guitar, "Holy shit it's Slash from Guns 'N Roses!" he jumped like a child, this grown man who I've seen crush mechs with his mind was jumping like Christmas came early.

"MMM~?" Nick waved a guitar in my face.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "Give me the damn guitar~," I muttered taking the acoustic instrument from Nick.

"Let's Rock!" Slash ordered.

2 hours of practice, jokes, learning to hold a guitar, and doing rock star poses, finally ended with us learning the 'C' chord.

One step closer to my rock star career~.

-/-

Nick POV

"... so, if a ninja master confronts you head-on. That means other ninjas are going to attack you from the sides and from behind. A ninja master never confronts you unless they themselves are the distraction~." I pointed to my notes and pictures on the blackboard. At the moment, I was in the makeshift classroom in the Shuttle Bay teaching some of the ship and ground crew important life lessons.

"It's true," Thane nods.

"Nick, this is interesting and all, but why are you teaching us this?" Joker asked.

"Because out of all of us, you're the only one who hasn't been ambushed by a group of assassins~," I pointed out.

"Wha? Of course I haven't been attacked by a group of assassins! I'm a pilot!" he huffed.

I just shook my head at him, "That just means you're due for an ambush any day now."

"Yeah, well, I won't hold my breath~."

"And that's how you get poisoned~," I pointed out, "Were you not listening to my lecture at all!?"

EDI reached over and held Joker's hand in worry, "Jeff, you're not going to be poisoned, right?"

Joker just groaned, "NO~! I'm not going to be poisoned, I'm not going to be ambushed, I'm not going to be swooped upon!"

"You promise?" EDI gave him a puppy dog look.

"Yes~, EDI, I promise, I'm not going to put myself in a position to get ambushed," he sighed, patting her hand, causing her to smile.

"Oh yeah, he's going to be ambushed~," Kasumi teased.

"Shut up~! Nick, can't we learn anything cool today?" Joker huffed.

"Joker if you read your syllabus, you should know we are going over Ninjas, Assassins, and Rogues today," I huffed.

"Yeah, but I thought it would be a lot cooler than an hour lecture!"

"Joker, what you learn today might save you tomorrow! What was rule one on walking into a new room?"

"I don't know~! I wasn't paying attention." he huffed, putting his feet on his desk and leaning back. Lia raised her hand.

"Yes, Lia?" I called out.

"Rule one: always look up!" Lia answered.

"Correct!" Suddenly a dart came from the ceiling, landing on Joker's foot. Causing everyone to just look at it. Before looking up to see Nat and Ava in Ninja outfits.

"What the fuuugrag~," Joker slurred, before falling asleep.

"JEFF!" EDI panicked.

"Assassins!" I screamed, getting everyone to jump out of their desks, scrambling for cover, "Remember what I taught you!" They did a piss poor job, sure most of the ground crew did okay but the rest of the ship crew were either panicking or asleep. "Come on you guys! Duck and weave! Don't say in one spot!" It was sad, it took another minute, but it finally came to an end. "Shepard, I give the crew an F in surprise attacks~," I drawled.

John tsked, "I thought they would do better than that."

"MAnfub!?" a drowsy Joker slurred, flopping awake.

"Commander? You planned for Nick to ambush us?" EDI asked, unlike everyone else she was tied up in an electrical rope that would shock her if she tried to escape, nothing serious but enough to keep her in place.

"Mmm?" Shepard looked down at EDI, "Of course, the crew has been getting a bit too relaxed, we're fighting Reapers and collectors that can appear out of nowhere and they were able to catch the original Normandy on the back foot, The crew must be ready for anything, whether it's Ninjas or giant space abominations. So, at random times I'll be setting up scenarios in which the crew must come together and survive without me or the ground crew. Everyone is part of this suicide mission, so I want them ready for anything. Nick, if you would please~."

I cast Group Heal, a little spell Wynne taught me, it wasn't as powerful as my Healing Hands and couldn't cure ailments outright, but it healed multiple people at once and reduced time effects.

"You suck~!" Joker flopped; it seemed like he got his voice back. He tried to get up only to fumble, landing on EDI's boobs. "MMM! MMm MMmm MMmmm!"

"Ah~! J-Jeff! Wait! Your voice! Nnn! The contract! Y-you need to follow the contract!" EDI moaned.

"MMMM! MMM! MMM!" Joker panicked, making it worse.

"How much you wanna bet he did that on purpose?" Kasumi smirked.

I crossed my arms, "Mmm~, I don't know, Joker's willing to do a lot of things~, steal the Normandy, fly into Geth strongholds, hang up on the council, but to motorboat his wife in front of the crew~? That's pushing it."

"Mmm! MmMm Mmm mmMM!" he started flapping like a fish.

"JEEEFFFFF~!" EDI moaned, causing her to strain against the rope giving her light shocks

Surprisingly it was Miranda who came to Joker's rescue, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?"

Joker gasped for breath, "T-THANK... Y-YOU! COULDN'T BREATHE... DYING!"

"Joker... you were between your wife's bazoombas for less than 10 seconds," I pointed out, "Which is pretty impressive, it took me many months of hard work to do what you did in mere moments, I guess natural talent beat hard work any day," I teased.

"I saw my life flash before my eyes!" he countered.

"Again, 10 seconds and you didn't stop motorboating at any one of those seconds~," I drawled.

"And I learned something!" Joker declared.

"Oh, you're ignoring me~."

"I can't live like this!" he finally got the floor under him, "No more waiting, no more thinking, no more second guessing!"

"Oh snap~," Kasumi muttered next to me.

"Jeff~," EDI whispered. Joker looked like a man on a mission, leaning down and giving EDI a deep passionate kiss.

"I LIKE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR!" he screamed right to her face, catching us all off guard.

"I, um, I, I LIKE HOW YOU PRESS MY BUTTONS!" she yelled back. Both their faces beat red.

"I LIKE YOUR LAUGH!" Joker.

"I LIKE YOUR SMIRK!" EDI.

"I LIKE YOUR LIPS!" Joker.

"This is... a loud confession~," I muttered to Kasumi, as the love birds yell their likes at each other.

"It's beautiful~," she wiped away a fake tear.

"Yes~, very lovely, but we got the space for the Puma X-8," Tali huffed.

I passed her a bucket of water, "Go on, get them out of here." Tali didn't hesitate, dumping the water on their heads causing them to jolt in shock.

"How are you so warm~?" Joker asked.

"I wanted My body to be the perfect temperature, in case we ever ended up in a dangerous world," EDI gasped, before Joker kissed her again, it wasn't a kiss in the rain, but they did their best.

"Thane? Are Ninjas... Aphrodisiacs?" I asked.

He took a moment to think about it, giving me a thousand-yard stare, "she smirked, 'Look at you, a master assassin, and yet I bend you to my whims,' she whispered, holding me close, her hands, soft, but her words, rough... Yeah, ninjas tend to be aphrodisiacs."

We just looked at him... "Well, I learned something new about you today~," I drawled, before turning to the new couple, "Alright, there is a time and place~," I used Create Water to flood them out of the room and towards the dock, it... didn't stop them, but that wasn't my goal, I just wanted the space. Let them get frisky out in public. "Alright you grease monkeys, let's get to work!"

-/-

Lia'Vael POV

Ugh~, everything hurts... my brain was thumping. Someone... anyone... please put me out of my misery. We celebrated too hard last night, and drank too much... where am I? Peeking out into the world I found... clothes? As my headache slowly faded, thank you magic and chi. I found myself surrounded by clothes. Am I in a closet? Looking around I found that this wasn't a normal closet, it was humongous! With a large open area with a large mannequin on a platform in the dead center, thousands of outfits and clothes lined the circular room, there was even a second level!

As my mind slowly came back to me, flashes of last night began bombarding my prefrontal cortex.

-/-

"Drink! Drink! Drink!" the crowd cheered.

I slammed my mug of beer on the table. "AHHHH~!" I always wondered why people wasted their money on alcohol, I kinda get it now. As the bar cheered and celebrated, I couldn't help but join in. 4 days of hard work would do that to someone.

The Puma X-8 was finally finished, it had Steel-Badassium armor alloy infused with magic that was made into a weave that coated the ship before we added some of the remaining Silaris Armor as an outer shell. The inside was magically expanded to the point where a crew of ten could live comfortably, with a living room, three bathrooms, a kitchen, individual rooms, and an engine room with an arc reactor as the main battery, We removed the Eezo engine drive and replaced it with a simple Eezo core, to help remove the weight of the ship, but weak enough that it wouldn't be able to go FTL, and finally the piece of resistance~, the hyperdrive engine. We were extremely cautious when we installed it, in fact, we weren't even there, Nick had a golem do the job as we used cameras to see it live. It was possibly the most nerve-wracking thing I have ever done, but it was all worth it as EDI gave us the green light after running some tests.

This led to a small party for the engineering crew, which kinda grew out of control. At first, it was just Joker happy to see the fighter ready for testing, followed by Grunt who heard the noise, Kasumi joined which wasn't too surprising with her room being on the bar's second floor. Then the Dayshift got off work, and... well...

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" everyone cheered as Grunt drank straight from the keg.

"Having fun~," Kasumi called out.

"Kassuuumiii~," I cheered.

"Hehehe~, a bit of a lightweight huh~?" Kasumi giggled.

"PSH! Me!? Pah-lease~, I, am the best at alcohol," I renounced. She looked over at Tali'Zorah who was cheering on top of a table chugging two beers at the same time.

"Mmm, I'll take your word for it. so, are you having fun?" she asked.

"Mmm, yeah~, humans seem to love to party~."

Kasumi shrugged, "Most of us only live for a hundred years, we can't not have fun, all work and no play tends to make people go crazy, are there no parties on the Migrant Fleet?"

I shrugged, "Yeah, but nothing like this~, we have ceremonies and some holidays, but they tend to be mild, no alcohol, we can't get impaired cuz you never know when you have to get to work, or roughhousing because we can damage our suit, and any dancing usually ends up against someone else because of the space."

"Mmm, that does sound rather tough~... hey you wanna do a human tradition with me?"

I blinked at her, "A... tradition?"

She grew a mischievous smirk, "I do it every time I'm invited to a party at someone's home~."

-/-

I slowly looked down... at my naked body... except for one piece of clothing... Nick's underwear. "A panty raid~," I muttered, every bad decision I have ever made has come back to haunt me, never again will I drink alcohol! I swear it!

You know what? it's okay~, no one has seen me, all I have to do is sneak out the same way I snuck in... How the hell did I get in here!? And where are my clothes!? Everything was a mess, clothes were thrown on the floor like some crazy person ran in here and threw... everything all over the floor... looking for something. I'm a horrible guest~.

One thing at a time~, where is the exit? Looking around I was still in awe at the size of this place, seriously who builds a place this big for clothes? You can fit hundreds of Quarians in here and still have space.

Finding the door didn't take too long, it had a large glowing exit sign overhead. now that I knew where the exit was all I needed was my clothes~. I looked around my immediate area, they couldn't be that far. My search was cut off as the door began to rattle, without thinking I jumped in between the hung clothes, crouching low making sure I wasn't visible.

"Good lord~," Nick's grumpy voice came from the exit, I peeked but I couldn't see him. "This place is a mess~, I swear Julee~, you always get like this when you're making new clothes." He snapped his fingers twice, getting dozens of his Golems to jump out of the walls and rush to his call. "Pick up all the clothes, have them washed and hung up," he ordered. The golems didn't hesitate and got to work.

I watched the little golems run by picking up clothes and running off to an opening in the far end room, it didn't take long for me to spot my black undies and bra being spirited away by a little golem.

Bosh'tet! They won't mind if I borrow some clothes, right? Zura'Nul is their model, there should be something for Quarians, right?

"Take this with you," Nick called out, a golem came running by with a towel, Nick finally came into view not long after... naked... so very naked. His hair was still wet, I'm guessing he just came out of the bath. I shouldn't look, it is wrong and a violation of his privacy. I shouldn't look at his body or his muscles, or his butt... or... anything else. I'm a terrible person.

I always thought warriors had scars, but Nick was spotless, he had a few moles that if you squinted made the constellation for The Traveler on his back... but I wouldn't know because I wasn't looking... oh who am I kidding, I was looking, I'm a hot-blooded woman, I know it's wrong~, but, come on~, I've seen him in skin tight short shorts, I've seen plenty~.

"What am I wearing today~," he reached the center of the room, the mannequin changed into a hologram of Nick. "It's Wednesday so we don't have anything going on, so I'll just go with something casual in case of a surprise date~." A plain white t-shirt, jeans, and workout shoes appeared on the hologram. "Make it so~."

Beams of light shot from the hologram into the room grabbing the clothing from the room and bringing it to Nick, it would have been better if one of those articles of clothing wasn't the underwear I was wearing. I felt my hips begin to be pulled toward the center of the room, not giving it a second thought, I removed the last piece of clothing I had, leaving me completely nude. I watched the clothes fly to the center where Nick put them on in less than a blink.

"Alright~, time to start the day~," he cheered walking out of the room, leaving me to my lonesome. "Love you~!" I blinked, who?

"Love you too~," A voice I could have mistaken for a predator called back overhead. Looking up I spotted a smirking Julee, I didn't hear her walk in. Her glowing sulfur eyes stared down at me, before licking her lips, "You know~," her voice sent every hair on my body to stand at attention, "I could use another model~."

My mouth was so dry I couldn't say anything, so I just nodded, her smile seemed to grow from horn to horn.

I need a drink.

-/-

Nick POV

I shook my head, "How did we get to this point~?" I drawled, looking down at a groaning Tali.

"Ugh!" she gagged, "Please kill me~," she moaned.

"Where did you even get the suntan lotion?" Shepard asked.

"How did you even get up here?" Garrus asked.

At the moment Shepard, Garrus, and I were looking down at the poor Quarian woman who got sloshed, spanked both Maranda's and Jenny's asses, stole someone's suntan lotion, and somehow got on top of the Normandy so she could get a tan.

"Is that Jenny's bikini top?" I asked, Jenny's not a woman known to share. We were lucky she was wearing her gym shorts.

"HEY, IS THAT IDIOT UP THERE!?" I looked down to find Jenny, boobies out for the world to see.

"PUT ON A SHIRT!" I yelled back, "YOU EXHIBITIONIST!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Ugh~, please stop~, Why are you killing me~, I thought we were friends," Tali groaned.

"HEY! KEEP IT DOWN! TALI HAS A BAD HANGOVER!" I yelled at Jenny.

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! THAT GRAB ASS TOOK MY TOP!" Jenny took a look around, "HOW DID SHE GET UP THERE!?"

"WE DON'T KNOW!"

"I hate you; I hate you both," she groaned.

"Nick, can you heal her?" John asked.

I shrugged, "I could, but should I? This could be a learning experience; she almost got a tattoo last night... You did stop her from getting that tattoo right?" I asked Shepard.

"... uh," John looked over to Garrus.

"Don't look at me, Kelly was getting handsy," Garrus shrugged, before he looked at me.

"Don't look at me, I was keeping Zura from fighting Grunt over a mango." Quarians cannot handle their alcohol.

"..." we looked at each other, then looked back at a groaning Tali, "It... doesn't look like she got a tattoo~," I shrugged. Tali took that moment to roll over and dry heave, showing off her... epic tattoo, "Ooh, spoke too soon~."

"Oh boy~," Shepard sighed.

"She can't blame us for this right?" Garrus asked.

"Where did she even get it?" I asked.

.

.

.

"Jenny~," we all answered at the same time.

Tali's tattoo was everything I thought it would be, taking up most of her back was a phoenix made of rainbows, flying out the eyehole of a human skull, being held in the mouth of a thresher maw, with a naked woman holding a sword on its back. It continued below her shorts, but I didn't go any lower.

"How did she do it so fast? A tattoo this big takes days, and it's colored," I asked.

"It's more than likely just an Omni-tattoo," Garrus pointed out, "it's something the younger crowd does, getting to look 'cool' without worrying about the long-term problems."

"Garrus... you're 27~," John drawled, "you are, part of the younger crowd~."

"You know what I'm talking about! Normal people~."

"So... it's just a temporary tattoo, just add water and it will wash away?" I asked.

"Uh... hum~, it depends on the paint," Garrus points to his face paint, "This is the good stuff, lasts weeks, and is resistant to water, sweat, and most chemicals. I'm not sure what this tattoo is made of."

"JENNY! WHAT IS TALI'S TATTOO MADE OF!?" I asked, getting another hiss from the hungover Quarian.

"IT'S, hum, SOMETHING CALLED OPIMIUS!" She called back.

"Ooh~, that's not good~," Garrus muttered. "My stuff is good, but that paint's the best~, only high-ranking government officials and their mistresses have the money to buy that stuff."

"That doesn't sound good," I muttered.

"Yeah~, this thing ain't coming off for a few months, maybe a year, tops," Garrus confirmed.

"Looks like she can't play the responsible adult anymore~," John teased.

"Here," I passed him a Cure-all potion, I wasn't getting anywhere near her, not after all the screaming I'd done, I was confident she'd throw me off the ship in retaliation the moment she had her wits about her.

"Tali~," John called out inching closer, shaking the bottle like she was a cat, "I have something to get rid of your hangover~," She shot her hand up grabbing at the air, John carefully gave her the bottle and backed off, like feeding a crocodile meat. She popped the quark and chugged the potion.

"WOW!?" she cheered jumping to her feet, "Now that's what I'm talking about! You should sell this stuff!" she chugged the rest of the potion.

"I do~," I drawled. "First one is on the house."

"Thanks," she sighed before looking around, "How did I get up here?" We shrugged. She looked at herself, "What am I wearing?"

"You stole Jenny's top," I answered, tossing her a shirt, "You might want to put that on, I doubt Jenny's going to wait until you're decent to take back her top."

"Thanks," she muttered putting on the shirt and removing the bikini top from the inside, "Ugh, why are the strings so small~," she hissed.

"Smaller fingers," I answered, "I'll bring it up with Julee when she is making Quarian swimwear."

"So can anyone tell me what happened last night?" she asked, finally got the top off, tossing it to Jenny below.

"You had a bit too much to drink~," Garrus answered.

"This has happened more than once," John crossed his arms, like an older brother annoyed at their younger sibling doing something stupid, he looked just like Theron with Merrill.

"I... I can't not!" Tali huffed in annoyance, "Everything's so new! And it tastes great, or it smells horrible, or it feels sticky! I want to do it all! You guys take everything for granted! You've drunk alcohol before, you know your limits, do you have any idea how difficult it is to have alcohol in the Migrant Fleet! It's impossible! Only for special ceremonies! Meat!? You got to be joking! CHOCOLATE!?" she gave a shiver, "it's banned altogether! Without my suit, I'm free~." She reached out and pinched John's face, "Your facial hair tickles," she reached over and tapped Garrus's mouth fringe, "And your scales are softer than they look," she ran her hands through my hair, "And even though your hair looks barely put together, it's soft and smooth to the touch. Even I can't get my hair this good!"

"Prestidigitation, and magical conditioner, because I'm worth it~," I teased.

"I can see you're enjoying your new freedom, but you need to temper it," John huffed, "I don't want you to get addicted to something, it's bad enough that you keep trying to martyr yourself, I will get you a babysitter if I have to."

"UGH!" Tali groaned, "John! I am a grown woman! I can-" I flashed a chocolate bar causing her to focus completely on the sweet. She immediately swiped for it, only for her fingers to faze right through the illusion. She froze looking at her empty palm, before turning to us and giving us the fakest smile this side of the galaxy, "... I tripped~?" She tried to shrug innocently.

"Nutrient paste and water, for the rest of the week," John punished.

Tali gasped and clung to John's shirt, "YOU CAN'T DO THAT! I CAN'T GO BACK TO NUTRIENT PASTE! PLEASE! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!" she cried.

John had an unimpressed look, "No, with freedom comes choices, and with choices comes consequences, hopefully you learn a bit of moderation~," he huffed, walking back to the ladder that helped us get up here, Tali slumped to the floor, crying her eyes out.

Garrus rolled his eyes, "Relax, you drama queen~, it's only 5 days. I doubt Nick is going to make anything too crazy, right?" he asked me.

I scratched the back of my neck, "Well~, with the Puma X-8 finished, me and Mordin are going to run tests on the sweets and candy Quarians could eat," I looked at my feet, "We're doing some chocolate tests on Friday." Tali gave the cry of a beached humpback whale.

Garrus winced, "Oof~," he looked back to Tali, "Better luck next time~," he shrugged, following John down the latter.

"Nick~?" Tali whimpered.

"Yes Tali?"

"Will you save me some chocolate?" she asked.

I shrugged, "I'll see what I can do." I patted her on the back causing her to hiss.

"Why did that hurt!?" she asked.

"Mmm, I thought Omni-tattoos were painless?"

"OMNI WHAT!?"

Oh boy~.

-/-

In... out... in... out... I allowed my chi to find the impurities of the metal, bend, mold, shape. I spread my right hand over the bucket of metal puddy, made of 6 different metals, in front of me, but it refused to move, I've been trying to get the skill for Metalbending for some time now, I didn't really need it back in Thedas, most things were made of earth or wood so it didn't make much sense to have it, but here in the Milky Way galaxy everything plus the kitchen sink was made of metal, and earth was hard to come by.

The problem was that controlling Impurities in metal was far harder than I thought. At first, I thought about just buying the skill in the Gamer's store, but it cost over 500 gold, which was bananas! Earthbending only cost 20 gold! I guessed not many knew Metalbending, so it made the skill more valuable, I also didn't take into consideration that it was also a hard skill to learn.

I thought it might have been my mentality, all my life metal was unmoving, unbending, and only pure strength could force it into place, but that was also not true, having taken Art classes in college I learned that a metal hot enough could bend like a sheet of paper. Science taught me that some Metals are soft enough to chew, and some are liquid at room temperature.

I might be overthinking this. Toph was an Earthbending prodigy, trained by badgermoles under the earth, she had the fine skills to pull apart and mold the metal, but I didn't. So, where skills failed, power must overcome, plunging my hand into the slimy puddy, I activated my earthbending. It felt weird, I knew some elements working together created subclass elements, Air and earth made sand, Fire and earth made lava, Fire and air made lightning, but there were also extremes, where someone would master their element to the point where it became something new, combustion, seismic sense, bloodbending, it's all about technique and power.

I had one of those, I started pumping Chi through my muscles, and the sludge started to slowly climb up my hand, my CP was draining out of me like a broken dam, not even my armor could refill my Chi fast enough. It felt like I was trying to slowly lift a non-Newtonian fluid and keep it in one piece, I could feel my muscles strain and sweat pour down my back. In the end, I couldn't do it.

CHI CRASH! Chi locked for 15 minutes!

SECOND WIND! Half your chi has been returned!

I laid flat on the Shuttle Bay floor. Damn, that was uncomfortable~, Mana crashes give you a crippling headache that forces you to rest, Chi Crashes just drop you, your body goes limp, and you become catatonic. It's not something I would want someone to go through. Luckily, I had a perk that returned 50% of my Chi once an hour if I entered a Chi crash.

I'm doing something wrong. It's not power, I have plenty of that, its technique, I think I'm using too many metals, or maybe the putty's the problem, I'm used to solid matter not this liquid form.

"Nickolas?" opening my eyes, I found Thane standing over me.

"Yo~," I nodded to him, "What's going down bud?"

"I wish to learn to heal."

I blinked up at him, "Heal?" I sat up.

"Yes, the only thing I was trained to do was take life, I wish to learn to save it."

I gave him a long look, before shrugging, summoning a redwood Golem, a tome of Healing hand, and a book from the School of Restoration, "The golem will act as your Mana core until you grow your own, the scroll will give you my knowledge of healing hands, and the book has the basic spells for any healer, I have higher level books but you first have to proof that you can do these first." I tapped the book. That's how it worked back home, any healer that wanted to work in Sky City had to take a medical exam, no Healer was going to tell you in medical terms or pronounce a 6-syllable word to describe what's wrong with you, Magic was meant to do the heavy lifting.

I of course didn't want healers to go through a 10-year doctorate degree, nobody had time for that, I just gave them a Tome of Healing hands, a book on Restoration, and their classes were field work with me, or Ayla, or one of the new school healers, this way we can pump out more healers in a shorter time. With my teaching skill at master rank and the ability to make Tomes that gave the basics of a spell, healing hands was a spell every Mage had to know before leaving Hogwarts.

"Mmm, I would immediately know this... spell?" Thane asked, he was still a little iffy on the whole magic thing but didn't make much out of it.

"Just the basics, knowing something doesn't mean you can do it. You are going to need to practice, Usually, I would take you to a hospital or a makeshift medical tent where we would provide free medical services in exchange for some experience, but I wouldn't know where to start here in Ilium, We might have to wait until we hit the Citadel, I could ask David for a few favors, get me into a clinic in need of some help.

Thane watched his new golem morph itself into a bracer. "You would give me this? No questions asked?"

I shrugged, "I usually teach people the basics before they choose a school of magic, but you look like a man who has chosen his path, and I doubt you're a man who enjoys shooting fireballs or lightning. So, I'm not going to hold you back." I shrugged, "Besides, we could always use another healer."

He gave me a nod of appreciation, before looking at the scroll, "So, how does this work?" He unsealed the scroll getting a bright flash of light to the face, but he didn't flinch or blink, just stared at the scroll until it turned into glowing ash and vanished into the wind. He slowly blinked. "Whoa~." he blinked again, lifting his hand as it began to glow gold before he snuffed it out. Taking a few more blinks, he nodded at me.

"I would suggest taking a nap, Healing hands is one of my most used and understood skill, your mind is making sense of it, You might have a few dreams of me healing people, and gaining a bit of insight into wounds and diseases I might have cured, but other than that you should be fine, I've given spells and other knowledge to other races."

Thane gave me a nod and walked off to his room.

Now let's see if I can bend solid metal~.

-/-

Thane POV

I watched Walters play with a sheet of metal as the elevator closed. Looking down at the book in my hands, I found my life taking a strange turn. The book was heavier than I thought it would be, but I suppose gaining another 50 years of life and thinking of ways to spend them can be a bit daunting. How do the Asari do it?

As the door opened, I came face to face with Ms. Lawson, for a moment the world seemed to dull and slow, before glowing spots lit up Lawson and a ghostly Walters appeared next to her.

He pointed to her back, "Symptoms: Back, Neck, and shoulder pain. Cause: large breasts. Short-term Cure: Healing hands starting in the back moving up to neck and shoulders. Long-term cure: Stretching, exercise, and/or breast reduction surgery." he then pointed to the glowing spot on her stomach. He said something but I couldn't understand, it was like he was talking underwater. As he finished talking, he faded, and the world's colors came back to the world. That was... interesting.

"Mr. Krios, I was hoping you had some time to talk?" Lawson asked, her eyes narrowing as she spotted my new bracer.

"I'm sorry Ms. Lawson, Maybe later, Nickolas gave me something to think about and something to read," I patted the book in my hand. She gave the book a long look before nodding and stepping out of the way, allowing me to pass. In turn, she got in the elevator, no doubt to talk with Nickolas.

Walking into the dry warmth of my room, I gave a long sigh, you sometimes don't know what you are missing until you get a taste, I'm just happy the clothes Nickolas gifted me kept me warm. Taking a seat on my bed, I opened my new book.

Restoration spells heal, restore, and fortify the body's attributes and abilities, cure disease, and protect it from other malign influences. The primary spells of this school are healing wounds, curing diseases, and restoring lost vitality, but can also augment strength, endurance, intelligence, agility, and other bodily attributes. Absorption skills are also sometimes considered part of this school, although they may also be classed as Mysticism magic.

Was as far as I got before my eyes got too heavy.

-/-

I was in a village.

Hillcrest.

The name snapped to the forefront of my mind.

'Damn, this place isn't looking good~,' I turned and spotted Nickolas wearing some kind of adventuring outfit, and behind him dozens of what seemed like young adults, all wearing similar uniforms looking like students, "Yo, Mani!" Nickolas called out, getting a young boy with horns no older than 14 to run up next to him. "I need you to get the village leader," he pointed out to an empty plain, "we are going to set up our tents over there." The young boy just grunted and ran into the village as Nickolas turned to the students, "ARE YOU WAITING FOR AN INVITATION!? GET THOSE TENTS UP! THIS VILLAGE HAS COME DOWN WITH A SICKNESS! GET SUITED UP! WE ARE AT GROUND ZERO OF A POTENTIAL PLAGUE!" Nickolas roared, getting the students to scramble. Putting on masks and rushing to put up tents, other adults looking after them and helping with the tents. I could feel Nickolas's annoyance at his students' lack of focus, he'd been grilling them on the fact that they needed to be prepared, and they had no idea what they were going to run into. 4 bears and a pack of wolves later, and he was not impressed. 'A healer should not just be a damsel, they're the only thing keeping people from dying, so I'm going to break and mold them into something respectable.'

"Must you be so dramatic~," Ayla teased, she was also wearing some adventuring clothes. Love, it was such a pure emotion but there was something... off, as if his love was being tempered by an outside influence. 'Oh Ayla, you're too kind sometimes.'

"We can't be soft on these punk kids," Nickolas huffed putting on his own face shield, his outfit changing into something you would see a medical professional would wear in a medical triage. "They are the future, and they can't take things like this lightly, I'm not going to be there to wipe their asses in the future." 'People still fear magic, they need to be ready, whether it be a scared child or a raging dragon, healers tend to be the first to arrive and last ones to leave.'

She patted Nickolas's face, "Let's go save some lives, you drama queen~.'

The world shifted and molded

I was now in the medical tent, the floor was a spotless white, with curtains, beds, and even a waiting area, magic is amazing.

"Halie! What are we looking at?" Nickolas called out making the rounds with some of his students.

"Coughing up blood or mucus, Pain with breathing or coughing, Fever, Chills, Night sweats, pale skin, and Weight loss." a young woman called out. 'Halie was tough, born premature, most thought she would die before her first year, but her magic said otherwise, dreamed of being a healer after her magic kicked in.'

"Those are symptoms, what is the cause~," Nickolas hissed.

"From the symptoms most of the patients display, I conclude that it must be Consumption sir," she answered. 'Consumption, better known as Tuberculosis.' I could feel the hatred he had for the disease and anger at the fact that he wasn't here sooner.

"Correct," Nickolas called out, he pulled back a curtain door showing a young woman hooked up to a saline drip, she looked terrible, it looked like she hadn't eaten in days and was pale as a ghost, every time she breathed a ragged cough would escape her lips, she couldn't breathe without pain. She was glowing from most of her chest and head, I gritted my teeth and balled up my fists. "Pay attention!" Nickolas called out, breaking me from my thoughts, "Consumption can attack any part of the body from, the kidneys," he moved his glowing hands just below the young woman's ribs, the glow that lit up the young woman's kidneys faded away, "the Spine," he gently tilted the woman to her side, slowly tracing his glowing hands up her spine, before placing her gently back on the bed, "The brain," he placed his hands on her head, the woman seemed to relax at his touch, "But more than not you will find it in the lungs and throat." He moved his hands to her throat followed by ribs.

The woman who was glowing like an Omni-blade now looked completely at ease, she was taking large breaths, her eyes fluttered open looking out to the students before looking up at Nick, "You have pretty eyes~."

Nick smiled down at her, "Thank you, get some rest, we'll have some warm soup when you wake up~," the woman just nodded and fell back to sleep. Nick led his students back out to the hallway, "You will be relieving the Evening team making you the Night crew, morning shift will be relieving you at 4 in the morning, get to know who you are replacing and who will replace you, some of you will be finishing up your partners patient tonight, many of them will be confused and tired, your job is to keep them comfortable and answer questions, I will be here making rounds with Ayla, Sereda, Wynne, Ava, and a dozen other Trained healers to help you, so do not hesitate to call us if you need our help." many of the students looked relieved, "Get to your groups, your fellow healers need their rest." He waved them off, causing them to scramble. 'There are about a thousand people in this village, and I have just under 10 trained healers and 60 students, they should all get some practice under their belt.' I could feel the weight of the responsibility land on his shoulders.

The world molded again.

"I can't thank you enough Sir Walters," an elderly man kneeled at Nickolas's feet, Nickolas kneeled and helped the man up, dusting off the dirt the elderly man's clothes collected.

"There is no need to thank me Elder Woods, it's thanks to Mani I knew what was happening here," Nickolas patted the young horned man on the shoulder. "This 10-year-old punk climbed mountains and braved the freezing cold to reach Sky City, I wasn't going to turn him away."

"That would explain why you disappeared Mani. You had us worried young man."

"My people needed me," the young man held his head up high, proud of his actions even if it worried others.

The Elder huffed, "You youngins, giving us older folk heart problems with your crazy actions," he brought the boy into a strong hug. "Don't go doing something stupid, that time you fought a bear nearly put me in the ground."

"Sorry father," Mani hugged the elder.

"Baa, I did stupid things at your age too," he patted the boy on the back, "Now go check on the rest of the villagers, make sure they're not doing anything stupid." Mani nodded and ran off. The elder turned to Nickolas, "Sir Walters, I am in no position to ask you this, but can you look after my boy?" Nickolas raised an eyebrow at him, young Mani didn't look anything like the Elder, maybe he was adopted. "Mani's a good lad and tries to make right by people, I have no doubt he's going to follow behind you trying to pay off his debt."

"What debt? You are citizens of Ferelden, it's my duty to help you, any money needed to work here is compensated by the crown. Hillcrest owes us nothing." Nickolas pointed out.

The elder shook his head, "That doesn't matter to Mani, to him you came when he called for help, not many nobles would do that, you even cured the village. He believes he is in your debt, no matter what you say."

Nickolas gave a hum, "Kid has a knack for healing, I'll enroll him in Hogwarts's medical program, and have him work as a Healer, he'll 'pay his debt' by the end of the year after working in the hospital."

"He is not a mage?"

Nick laughed, "Not all healers are mages elder Woods, curing diseases doesn't always require magic, trust me people have been curing diseases long before magic and will long after. I'll put him through the potion maker program."

The elder smiled back, "Thank you, Sir Walters."

Nickolas smiled back, "And thank you for allowing my students to help you."

The world faded

-/-

I woke with a startle. Looking around my room, the warm air eased my nerves. That was a rather vivid dream. Nickolas warned me about possible dreams but to see it so clearly~. Even now I can remember the dream, I can remember Nickolas's feeling, his annoyance at his students' blasé attitude walking into the village, the pride that came when Halie cured her first patient, the disgust of the disease itself. I looked down at my hand as I used the implanted knowledge of Healing Hand to come to the surface causing my hand to glow.

"... how much does medical school cost?"

-/-

Maranda POV

I watched Thane walk off to his room as the elevator door closed. The wizard is at it again. I mean seriously! Thane has been here less than a week and he already gave him magic!? The door opened revealing the shuttle bay with some of the engineering crew looking over the Puma X-8, talking about giving it a nickname and a new paint job, I spotted Nick playing with a large sheet of metal.

"Walters," I called out.

"Yeah," he answered but didn't look away from the piece of metal, looking at it like it was hiding some secret, which it just might be with him.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm trying to learn metalbending."

What the hell does that even mean!? "Can't you already control Earth? How is this any different?"

"You would think so, but no, Earthbending is all about power, Metalbending has an art to it, I just don't know the brush strokes."

"Shepard told me you had access to some sort of dimensional shop, can't you just buy the instructions there? Is it too expensive? Or not in stock."

He gave a light chuckle, "Trust me, Maranda, they have everything, from lamps with genies, to slippers that let you fly, to Giant Doom lasers. I even found a step-by-step instruction guide to Metalbending, at the low-low price of 500 gold or 2.5 million credits~."

Whoa~. "That does sound expensive, but you should have the money for that. Telsa is a terrifying force of financial nature."

"I'm not surprised Cerberus is watching us, but I didn't think you would care that much?"

I rolled my eyes, "It's my job to know the people who live on this ship."

"And shoot bad guys~?" he teased.

"... And shoot bad guys," I huffed. "Is this really that difficult? Aren't you some sort of super wizard?"

He gave a chuckle, "I am no one special," he shrugged.

"Julia would disagree."

He gave another laugh, "Lucky maybe~, but not special, I wasn't a prince, a royal mage, or a bus driver, I was just a normal person. My family made enough to live above the poverty line, I had 3 siblings, one brother, and two sisters, we ate every day, my parents not only loved each other, they liked each other. I am the definition of a normal person, nothing special about me."

"But here you are, a powerful sorcerer that travels dimensions."

He laughed some more, "You make it sound like I planned it all out~! No~. One minute I was going home, the next I was somewhere so far away and different that I couldn't even fathom it, maybe that's what kept me sane, I could only imagine the madness of me appearing in another dimension where everything was the same, but everyone wrote using their left hand-" he took a deep breath, "-Anyway, using the shop could be rather dangerous, not because someone is going to hurt you, everything is very civil, but because it causes complacency, why work hard to learn something new when someone out there has already made it and is selling the skill for cheap, why make your own armor when you can just buy one, why make your own food when someone is selling a five-course meal for a fraction of the price~? The shop becomes a trap for the lazy, have I bought things from the shop, you better believe it, you think I'm going to go out there and hunt for my own vampire dust, hell no! Let some vampire hunter deal with that, but metalbending is an offshoot of Earthbending, with some practice and effort I could learn it and not waste a bunch of money. My mama didn't raise no fool, it's always cheaper to make your own things than buy them."

"Mmm, I suppose it is better to gain your power than it be given to you," I hummed.

"I like to think so~," he shrugged, "So is that what you needed? Cuz I'm trying to bend this sheet into a swan."

I gritted my teeth, "... I need your help with something."

"Is it about your sister?"

That nearly sent me into a full-blown panic attack. "HOW!?"

He huffed and rolled his eyes, "I'm a magic space wizard from another dimension, these cool glowing eyes aren't just for the ladies~."

"I... you... how long?"

"Mmm, since I met you. You weren't exactly my friend at the time~, so I viewed some of your past." this son of a bitch just said something that no normal person would be okay with!

"You read my mind!?" I hissed, trying to shield my thoughts like I was taught in my training against Asaris.

"No, you idiot, I read your soul~."

"That's even worse!" I think. Somehow that feels more violating.

"Not really, your mind holds important emotional personal feelings, the soul on the other hand just tells the facts, you were born here, you broke your leg on this day, your first kiss was under a tree~, there's no feeling to it, I don't know how you felt about your home, or the pain you were in when you broke your leg, or if your toes curled at your first kiss. Maybe a powerful telepath might, but not me. If I focus, I sometimes get surface thoughts about how you feel about me in this very moment, like your fear and anger but not much else."

Looks like that mental fortitude training was a waste of time, "How do I know you're not lying?"

he gave another shrug. "You don't. It's all about trust. And the fact that mind abilities are some of the most difficult powers to use, trust me when I tell you this, most people with mind powers tend to kill themselves before they use it on others." he tapped his temple, "This thing is touchy at the best of times, you start messing with it and you tend to die rather quickly~."

That I believed. "But can you?"

He shrugged, "I have a few books on the subject in my library under lock and key. It's not the kind of magic you wanna play with," he warned. He wasn't going to budge on this.

"Right, sorry."

"Don't be, here" he tossed me a necklace with a ring around it, "It fortifies your mind, when I learned about the Reaper's indoctrination powers, I placed it on everyone's new armor, but that should keep your mind safe outside of your armor." I looked at the runes on the ring, they were beautiful, giving off an otherworldly glow. "See~, that would have cost me 250,000 Credits, instead it cost me less than the stainless steel it's made of. Anyone who buys things are suckers."

"Right~, about my sister?"

"I'll be there~," he closed his eyes and pressed his hands against the sheet of metal slowly turning his hand counterclockwise, a screeching noise coming from the sheet of metal before his fingers slipped. There were grooves where his fingers caught the metal, "Oh~, that's what I'm talking about~." he smirked at me, "A little elbow grease goes a long way."

"Mmm, I'll leave you to it," I muttered walking back to my quarters to prepare.

Nothing should go wrong, the transfer papers have come in and Niket is ready to move the family to a new and safer location, somewhere that bastard will never find her.

-/-

Nick POV

New Quest: A sister is a dearest friend, Closest enemy, and an Angel at the time of need.

Miranda has asked you to help transfer her sister and her family to a shuttle that will lead them to safety and a new life.

Reward: 30,000 EXP, 20,000 credits, one gold loot box, one gacha token, Neutral with Miranda

"So... it's only us?" I asked. Only me and Shepard were helping Maranda with her mission. "I thought we were the distraction? Wouldn't Sky or Astral do a better job at this?"

"We need to keep the destruction to a minimum, Sky and Astral have very little care for collateral damage," Miranda answered from the driver's seat in front of me. Evening in Nos Astra was beautiful, everything was drenched in different shades of orange that pierced in-between the city's skyscrapers.

"Man~, we both know that's a load of malarkey, Sky did great on the train~," I huffed.

"I... also wanted to keep as little people as possible from being involved," She added.

"What about Niket?" I asked, "Will he be okay? Your father is a right asshole, I wouldn't put it past him to hurt or kill him."

"Niket can take care of himself, and they need him a live and safe, he's the only one who knows what she looks like and where they are going to meet."

"Then wouldn't he be the main target?" I asked. "Better question how does the shit stain that calls itself your father know where Niket might be? I thought all this was hush-hush?"

"My father is one of the wealthiest men in the galaxy, he has agents everywhere, but Cerberus shouldn't be underestimated, they were able to keep my sister hidden."

"Then why move her? All this activity must have triggered some kind of signal on his radar," I pointed out.

"... I didn't take you seriously before, when you told me that the Illusive Man sent me to die I didn't believe you, but you were right, I could die on this mission, and my sister will be left without a protector, I wanted to make sure that if something happened that she would be okay," she huffed.

"Gunship 3 o'clock," Shepard called out. Looking out the window we spotted the gunship flying next to us.

"They are ordering us to land," Miranda called out, looking at the controls.

"Should I mess with them?" I asked. An illusion of darkness in the cockpit would be funny, but they might crash though.

"No, we are in the tower cluster, we can land in that warehouse on the lower levels and work our way up. Now let's see if they want us alive," she muttered.

They in fact didn't want us alive, the gunship didn't fire a single shot, I could only imagine a gunship firing in a Warehouse of any kind would have people up in arms flooding this place with police, that didn't stop the mercs from shooting up our ride, causing us to have a rough landing.

"Mmm, yeah~," I huffed, cracking my back, "So we're killing all these guys, right?"

"More than likely~," Shepard answered.

Exiting the car, we were greeted with a merc with his overshields at max, wise.

Human mercenary

Brian Stevenson

Lvl: 23

HP 350/350

Shields 500/300

Weakness:

Head

Old lacrosse injury

As long as he gets his pay he'll do whatever they tell him to do

"Since you're not firing you must know who I am?" Miranda took charge, walking up to Brian.

Brian sneered, "Yeah, they said you would be in the car. You're the bitch that kidnapped our boss's little girl."

"Brian, I have a few questions~," I interrupted the conversation that was going on.

"How do-"

"Brian, how did you know we were in that car? I mean there are thousands of similar cars all around us, and yet you found us like a pro," I asked.

"Who are you? How do you know my name?"

"Brian Stevenson~, buddy, listen. You done fucked up. Your life is hanging by a thread. I'm not sure what led you down this very stupid path, but you're standing in front of one of Cerberus's most dangerous agents, thee Commander Shepard, and a fucking space wizard. If you think you're going to walk out of here with nothing less than every bone in your body not crushed to dust you are wrong, very, very wrong," I growled unleashing my intimidation skill flooding everything within two hundred meters with an aura of death. The blood in Brian's face drained and began shivering. "I'm going to ask you one more time Brian, how did you know we were in that car?"

"I-I-I-I, N-Niket! He-he told us!" he stuttered.

"Mmm, and why would he do that?" I asked.

"B-because! He-he's working for our boss! That's how we knew she was being moved!"

"Impossible," Miranda hissed. "He wouldn't do that."

"AHHHH!" one of Brian's mercs rushed us. That's the thing about my intimidation skill, it floods the automatic nervous system with signals, causing our Fight-flight-or-freeze response to activate, my skill usually causes people to freeze, like a deer in headlights, but sometimes you get that one guy with the brains to run, or an idiot to charge. I unleashed one of my more powerful spells.

"Sunburst~," I whispered.

Sunburst – Praise the sun! One of the most powerful spells the school of evocation teaches.

Cost – 1550 MP

Rank - Novice

A fireball, the size of a basketball, flew from my palm, striking the merc who was 50 meters away in the chest before the ball expanded to nearly 20 feet in diameter, washing the room in light and the heat of the sun, anyone within 30 feet of the sphere burst into flames, anyone looking at the sphere of death within 50 feet were blinded for 10 minutes.

As the spell ended, the merc hit with the spell was vaporized and the metal 30 feet from the center of the blast was melting. Was it overkill? Yes, but you sometimes have to show people who's in charge, and sometimes overwhelming power is the best way to do that.

"What are you!?" Brian cried from the floor.

"Names Nick Walters~, monster, killer, your enemy~," I smiled down at him, all teeth. "Brian~, do you have a radio frequency?" He just nodded, pulling out some kind of radio from his suit, passing it to me, which I passed to Miranda. "Thank you Brian," I reached out and cast sleep, knocking him out. I clapped, smiling at my group like nothing happened. "Alright let's get going~," I cheered marching off toward the elevator, ignoring their shocked looks.

-/-

This place looked like the inside of a grandfather clock or a crazy Rube Goldberg machine, everything was connected to something else and constantly moving, I could only imagine the deaths this place caused. Who builds a place like this? This was a huge lawsuit made into a building, well, it would be if everyone wasn't a slave, sorry, 'indentured servant'.

I unleashed some chain lightning killing 3 mechs and stun locking 4 mercs making them easy pickings for Shepard and Miranda. I feel like this would have been harder if the Eclipse didn't use mechs for everything, lightning tends to burn them out pretty easily, and with Shepard's super armor, we were mowing our way through the warehouse. Captain Enyala was a bitch, she clearly knew her men were dying by the dozen, and instead of thinking of anything else she just sent more men.

"Miranda, how many mercs has your father hired? We have to be in the triple digits by now!?" I asked shooting out another Chain lightning.

"As much as money can buy apparently," she answered, shooting a merc in the head, "Cerberus isn't an organization you just cross without getting shot at."

"Shepard, what's the moral situation with me just taking some of this stuff?" I asked, launching a fireball at a group of mercs turning the corner.

"Not, great. This stuff doesn't belong to the Eclipse, it belongs to the city, taking this stuff is just stealing," he answered, as his shoulder guns unleashed a barrage of endless bullets at every merc that popped their head out of cover, I'm just happy I put some sound dampeners on the guns otherwise Shepard would be deaf by now.

I tsked, "What if it's broken?"

"Still stealing, if you pick it up at the junkyard and fix it then that's a different story," he shrugged, putting a bullet through a mech.

I shook my head, "These mechs make me sad." I summoned four of my new robo-golems, unlike the earlier version meant for power and tanking, these new golems were smaller and sleeker, they were modeled after Shayle's new body, just a bit more mech-like. I made them for speed and sneak attacks, simply put, my Earth golems were my mob, Knight golems were my fighters, Robot golems were my tanks, and my new 'Fembots' were my rogues. I snapped my fingers, "You go girls~." The Golems dashed forward at great speeds jumping over crates and running into enemy territory, screams coming quickly after.

"New golems?" Shepard asked.

"Yep~, invisibility, durability, speed, finger pistols with silencers, stick'em powers, Jetpacks, and omni-blades~. If I'm going to make assassin bots I might as well do it right." I answered, a bit proud of my new golems.

"Don't you ever fear they might go rogue and try and kill you?" Miranda asked.

I gave her a confused look, "Why would they do that? I made them with magic and love, there is a good chance they might gain a soul of their own in a few thousand years, so I gave them my sense of morality. If they ever do gain sentience they'll at least understand right from wrong and grow into their own people. I don't think a father could ask for anything better. With any luck, I might still be alive to help them in their new forms, but I did make dozens of recordings of myself answering some questions they might ask. Why me? Did you love me? What am I? Do I have a soul? Why do people enjoy humping so much? You know, the important questions~," I teased.

Miranda rolled her eyes, "You're a mad man that is more than likely going to destroy your own world."

"Oh, trust me, I don't even break the top 100. From Necromancers to blood mages to ancient Liches, there is no end to crazies and their 'great glory'," I waved away her comment. "There was once an archmage that created a golem out of Dragon bones, but thanks to the Dragon's magic it regained its mind, killed the Mage, and is now teaching at the college of Masters in Rezum."

"Hold on, the dead Dragon... is a professor~," Shepard drawled, "I don't believe you."

I shrugged, "It's true, I have pictures, and I attended one of her classes on multi-casting. I kinda get it, Prof. Akos, Eater of Bunnies, lived for over 2,000 years before she died, you can't just pass on that sort of knowledge."

"Eater of Bunnies~?" Miranda drawled.

"Once you get a title in dragon culture it's hard to break.," I explained, "To be fair it's hard to get one in the first place, some never get one, so take what you can get. Prof. Akos, Eater of Bunnies, doesn't really mind, 2,000 years tends to dull you to the jokes and only idiots make fun of a dragon."

"Your world is ridiculous~," Miranda huffed.

I shrugged, "No crazier than giant space robots that wipe out all advanced sentient life every 50,000 years~," I countered.

"Point," She conceded.

We stuck to the ground level for now, the last thing I wanted to do was get crushed by a cargo container or get lost in the maze of moving parts. Rushing through the Warehouse we ran past quite a few Eclipse corpses and broken mechs, looks like my Fembots' first test run was looking pretty good.

"Captain Enyala!" a panicked voice came over the radio. "They have some kind of assassin droids! It's killing all our guys, we need- AHHH!" the voice was cut off.

"CAN'T YOU IDIOTS DO ANYTHING RIGHT!?" A pissed-off woman screamed from the other end of the call, "Stop messing around! Get the THOR mechs! And I swear if you idiots fuck this up, I'm killing every one of you." The radio went dead.

I blinked, "THOR Mech?"

Shepard shrugged, "No idea, Miranda?"

"Nothing, it might be new. My father has his fingers in everything, it's possible he might have some cutting-edge equipment not on the market."

I sighed, "It's Hock all over again~, if there is a giant robot on the next floor, I am keeping it," I pointed at Shepard.

He gave me a long look, "... do you really need another giant robot~?"

"Yes, yes I do," I answered immediately.

"Where would you even put it?" he huffed.

"I'll find a place~, what would you do with it~?" I countered.

"Give it to Anderson, so he can make it able to kill reapers," he answered.

"You mean for me to make it kill Reapers, but for Anderson to keep it~?"

"Yeah, what did I say?" he smirked.

"You're the worst~," I answered.

"Would you two focus?" Miranda hissed. We reached the elevator to move us up and to the next section of the warehouse. My Fembots, covered in blood, were waiting for us. One quick Prestidigitation for clean-up and we were riding up the warehouse giving us a good view of the ridiculous layout we shot our way through. I wouldn't be surprised if Vault-tec was involved in making this place.

Reaching the next level my Fembots jumped into action, ready to dash forward and disappear into the warehouse. Only to freeze at the very empty floor. Looking around the empty room I found destroyed crates and busted-up cargo crates slammed up against the walls.

DANGER! ABOVE! I quickly enhanced my shimmering shield, blocking a Lightning shockwave from an 8-foot mech slamming onto the floor. Like its brothers it was bone white with a bipedal form, with two thick armored arms with lightning dancing around them, it had a shoulder cannon, with a small head with no neck.

Mecha

THOR mech

Durability 800/800

Shield 800/800

This mech has yet to hit the markets, built with a powerful He-3 generator, it channels energy through its body unleashing powerful electric bolts through its body, much like an overload. It uses its Eezo core engine to create a mass effect field to channel bolts of lightning. Created by Hahne-Kedar Shadow Works.

Get yours today~.

It unleashed a bolt of lightning striking my magic shield.

Outer shield damaged! 10/250!

Alright, that's annoying, no doubt a normal shield would have been brought down from that blast alone. It then activated some kind of jet pack and blasted straight at us, swinging one of its huge arms, only to be intercepted by one of my fembots dropping kicking the THOR mech, and throwing it off course.

"Mmm." that was interesting. My fembots are nowhere near strong enough to kick something that big anywhere, the THOR mech looked like it weighed an easy thousand pounds with all its armor and machinery. It must use its Eezo core to lighten its weight to move at great speeds. That's annoying but a decent way to work around the weight. F-1 or Fembot 1, dropped after the kick but didn't get up.

Mecha-Golem

Fembot-1

Durability 783/800

Shields 0/300

A master-crafted golem made by Nick Walters, Lyna Tabris, and Julia Hope. Made as an assassin droid, this golem has a pistol finger, hidden forearm blades, great speed and strength, with the ability to stick to walls and turn invisible.

Error! Paralyzed! Time remaining 1:57

"OI!" I yelled, firing a barrage of dozens of Magic missiles, "DON'T TOUCH MY GOLEMS!" followed by summoning a dozen of my Earth golems, sure they weren't as powerful as my Knights or Robot Golems, but the Earth was a good insulator, Earthbending my golems I filled every nook and cranny the Mech had exposed before I pulled it apart.

"In coming!" Shepard called out as two more THOR mechs came from over the cargo wall, along with a YMIR mech as backup. Shepard's shoulder cannons came to life unleashing covering fire and using his rocket launcher to shut the YMIR mech down before it got its guns ready. Miranda was using her biotics to launch my golems at the incoming THOR mechs, they didn't last long but I was able to earthbend their remains to unleash hell.

"HOLD!" I cast Hold Person on the other last two THOR mechs freezing them in place, allowing me to dash forward.

Haki + Max STR + fisticuffs + Jeet Kune do + Quivering palm strike = 2539 points of Piercing damage!

My hand pierced through the Mechs armor, ripping out the engine and shattering it with my bare hand.

Quivering palm was one of the few Skills I learned from the open palm monk school of fighting. You learn quickly that the best way to do damage is to stack attacks that work well together. Quivering Palm worked great with my build, it changed my Damage from bludgeoning to piercing if I wanted and gave me the option to knock someone out instead of killing them.

I'm only Novice Rank at the skill costing me 120 CP per blow, but it nearly doubled my attack power. I've been trying to coat my fists in elemental power but that was a bitch and a half to do, usually backfiring causing me damage, and doing the same to the other paralyzed mech, I stored them both into my inventory. I'm going to have fun pulling these guys apart and seeing how they work; I might be able to make an army and sell it to Anderson.

"Do you think they have more?" I smiled.

"I don't think you know how expensive those were~," Miranda deadpanned, "They're probably the first out of the production line, my father would rather have the mercenaries die and not pay them than one of his mechs that he only had to pay for once."

"God, damn~, your father is an asshole~," I huffed.

"You don't say~," she drawled at my great wisdom.

"HA!" I laughed, snapping my fingers, ordering my Fembots to clear a path to the elevator with some of my Earth golems as backup. I picked up F-1 and carried her on my back.

"You're carrying it?" Miranda asked.

"Of course! She's, my creation! The paralysis should end in a minute or so, and she can join her sisters in clearing out the rest of the room after her Shields come back online," I answered.

"Why? It's just a machine, you can make dozens of them, better than that one, why not just put it in your hammerspace," She asked.

I just gave her a long look, "Because I made her, she is my responsibility," I Earthbent the remains of any earth golem back into a pile, which I used to make a new golem. "It's okay if you don't understand, I doubt you've created a golem before. I literally put a little of myself in every one of them," the new earth golem gave me a little salute and ran after his siblings. The Fembot on my back gave a jolt as she came out of her paralysis, I gently helped her to her feet, as her shields quickly reloaded back to max. I gave her a once over before giving her a nod; she saluted and ran off.

"You treat them like your children," Miranda pointed out.

"Ahhh~," I sighed, scratching my chin, "I do, don't I~?" I shrugged, "I would like to see you not get attached to something you put hours of your life into. Still~, they are automatons created by me to do my bidding, they are not alive, not yet anyway."

"And when they are?" she asked.

"I'll just make more~," I shrugged, "You make it sound like I'll be angry if they don't want to work for me. If they want to travel the world or settle down that will be their choice, besides that's for future me to worry about," I teased.

"You're all intelligence and no wisdom," Miranda drawled, making me laugh.

"What is wisdom~?" I teased, "The Quarians were so close to building something beautiful, can you imagine if they and the Geth worked together, they would probably have a council seat and rule a good chunk of the terminus system. Trust me, Machine life tends to roll off your back when you've seen dragons, gods, and talking balls of slime that have no brains. Shoot even Shepard has become friends with EDI and he killed her once."

"What?" Shepard asked, "When did I kill her?"

"On Earth's Moon, she told me, she 'awakened' in some kind of military base and panicked after people shot her, you showed up not long after," I answered.

"The rogue VI," he muttered, "That was EDI?"

"Part of her anyway, clearly she got an upgrade," I shrugged.

"The binary message," he muttered, eyes wide as if finally seeing the full picture, "I always thought it was a soldier trying to send out a last message. I didn't know it was her."

"But she did, and didn't hate you for it, trust me if you killed me and then asked for my help, things would not be going well for you," I teased, "I guess EDI is just a better person than I am."

"How do you know all this?" Miranda asked.

I blinked at her, "I talk to EDI all the time, she is a good friend~. I've burdened her with my own dark secrets... things Cailan must never know," I staged-muttered. Miranda glared at me. "What? I need to trust someone with my unspeakable secrets, my arcane knowledge, and all my weaknesses, I tried with Shepard, but he was too busy with his model ships, Garrus only talked about calibrations, and Thane just joined, I want him to get properly settled before I flood his mind with madness, if it helps Joker was there, but he was too busy staring at EDI's boobs."

"That doesn't help," she sighed.

"You call being taught guitar lessons by legendary musician Slash, a normal, not crazy, thing to do?" Shepard drawled.

I shrugged, "It was mostly an illusion I created by learning all I could from videos of him when he was alive, do you have any idea how much it would cost to get the real soul of Slash, AKA Saul Hudson, to teach us how to play the 'C' chord!? TIM and the Alliance don't have a quarter of the money. Don't tell Jacob though, he was really happy and bonded well with Thane."

Shepard shook his head, "a precise mercenary~."

I started laughing, "That was the funniest thing I have ever heard, Zevran and Lily would have died from laughter."

It took a minute to get to the next elevator, having to maneuver past the broken cargo the Eclipse Mercs left behind without using our jetpacks, I wasn't foolish enough not to think they didn't have snipers. Reaching the elevator, we spotted a dozen or so Merc lying all over the floor, some weren't dead, but they weren't getting up, not without some medical help, Legs don't bend that way~.

"YOUR ALL FUCKING FAILURES!" Captain Enyala yelled into the radio. "YOU WILL ALL BE SOLD TO MAKEUP FOR THE LOSS OF THOSE MECHS! THERE IS ONLY THREE OF THEM! FUCK ME! IS EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU MENTALLY IMPAIRED!? ARE YOU IDIOTS FIGHTING THEM ONE AT A TIME!? IS TODAY STUPID DAY!? GODDESS DAMNIT!"

"Oof~," I dragged, "Guess she never learned that you get more flies with honey than being a bitch~."

"I WANT YOU DUMBASSES UP HERE NOW! NIKET! WHERE'S THE GIRL!?"

"Yeesh~, so how are we doing this? Kill the good captain, capture Niket, force Miranda to meet her sister?" I asked.

Shepard nodded, "Sounds about right." he answered pressing the up button.

"Force? You can't force me to do anything," Miranda hissed.

"Your right, I can't," I agreed, "Same way you can't stop me from seducing your sister, if only Oriana had someone to keep punks like me away, maybe an older sister of some kind, oh well, I'll just make her my concubine."

Miranda glared at me so hard I was surprised laser beams didn't shoot out of her eyes. "I can remove your balls with my mind," she threatened.

"Oh my~, You're willing to fight a crazy Space Wizard, but not talk to your little sister?" I sighed, "Miranda, would it be so bad to at least tell your sister that you exist, that you care for her, that you live vicariously through her, and that she shouldn't date crazy people?"

She took a deep breath, "Nick... are you an idiot? Don't answer that, I know the answer. What exactly am I going to say to her? 'Hello, I'm your sister and I saved you from a crazy rich asshole when you were a baby, love me. Also, I looked after you since you were a child and know everything about you.' Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds!? That is some serial killer stalker nonsense!"

I had to agree to that, "I'm not gonna lie, it's gonna need to be workshopped, but if she is as smart as you she probably knows something is up~, let's face it, you look like someone that would baby her, probably got her in the best schools, great professors, Scholarships meant only for her, Shit you are relocating her right now, probably to somewhere she can blend into with other geniuses and have a perfect life. By now she probably has a room filled with dart boards, red strings, and newspaper clippings that all lead back to you. You wanna know how I know that? Cuz you're crazy enough to have a room with a bunch of Dartboards, and strings that lead back to her!"

"And if you're wrong?"

"Well love me tenderly~, I guess you would have to talk to her to find out," I huffed.

"How long are you guys going to argue?" Shepard asked from the hatch on the ceiling, my fembots looking down at us. We just looked at them for a moment before we followed them up. The elevator came to a crawl before it beeped, and the doors slowly opened to an absolute bedlam of bullets ripping the elevator apart. Shepard just pointed to the elevator door above, we just nodded, hacked the door, and got off on the floor above the gunfire.

It has an overview of the floor beneath us and the dozens of mercs pointing their guns at the now-destroyed elevator. See~, a competent commander wouldn't allow their troops to do that, it tends to leave them open to something like this.

"Sunburst, I unleashed another star of death, killing a good chunk outright, setting others on fire, and leaving the rest blind, making them easy prey for Miranda and Shepard, my Fembots turning invisible and moving to flank.

"FUCK!" an Asari in heavy armor yelled covering her eyes and firing wildly, I'm guessing that's Captain Enyala. I didn't even bother observing her, I just summoned an Earth golem and crushed her like a cockroach with earth bending. It was a bit anticlimactic, until she exploded, covering the field with blood and earth. What the hell was that!? Did I hit a grenade?

We found Niket hiding behind some crates, scared out of his wits.

-/-

Miranda POV

As Walters dragged Niket from behind a crate, my rage was boiling, that bastard! I trusted him! "Niket," I could barely contain my biotic rage. I wanted to destroy everything around me, unleash my power, and turn everything into scraps... I also wanted to cry, WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? Why?

"Miri-"

"Don't you ever call me that," the venom in my voice made him flinch.

"Yo, Shep, Zone of Truth?" Walters asked waving his finger around the area.

"Mmm," he took a deep breath, took out his holy pistol, and aimed at the floor, "ZONE OF TRUTH!" he yelled, pulling the trigger but instead of a bullet, a magic circle appeared at our feet, the familiar feel of the spell washed over me. Unlike Ayla's, which didn't give me a chance to fight it off, Shepard's spell wasn't as overbearing, I'm not sure if it was because Shepard was new at this or if it was thanks to my new magical armor, but I felt that if I fought it, I might be able to overcome it. Too bad I was far more focused on Niket.

"Why Niket?" I glared, as my eyes began to sting.

"M-money," he stuttered.

"Money. MONEY!? You sold me out for fucking money!? I could have given you MONEY~! YOU WERE WILLING TO SEND MY SISTER TO A MONSTER FOR MONEY!?" I shoved my pistol into his neck, finger on the trigger, but Nick grabbed the gun and moved it out of the way. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

"What did you need the money for Niket? Why not go to Miranda?" he asked.

"I-I I have a little girl," he muttered, "T-there's been problems, expenses, debts. I-I was going to go to Miranda for help, but I found out she was working for Cerberus. I couldn't trust her, I couldn't trust Cerberus, I heard what they did to people, if I became indebted to them, who knows what they would have done to me or my family! I couldn't risk it!"

"Cerberus would have helped!" I roared at him, how dare he judge the organization that helped me and Oriana.

"I KNOW WHAT THEY DO!" he yelled back, "I've seen the news! I've researched them after I learned you worked for them! They are monsters," he hissed. "I wasn't going to put my family through that."

"Then why did you even get involved in all this?" Shepard asked.

"When Miri – Miranda-," his correction hurt more than I thought it would, "-Called and asked me to help move something for her I thought it was small, maybe just a package, or maybe a letter, something unimportant. But when her father called, I was scared, Henry Lawson wasn't a man I wanted to cross, not again. He told me about Oriana, I told him to shove it, that I didn't believe him, but then you called, and you admitted everything to me. I just couldn't, I know you wanted to leave, to never return to your father, but you took a baby."

"I rescued her!" I corrected.

"SHE DIDN'T GET TO CHOOSE!" he yelled back, "you stole a CHILD! A CHILD THAT DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING! If you stole my child, and told me you knew best, I would stop at nothing to save her, and kill you." I didn't need the magic spell to tell me he was telling the truth.

"You're not telling her the truth now."

"Don't mistake me for a monster, she is an adult, I was going to tell her everything, who she is, who you are, who her father is, and give her the choice, to pick her future, not you, not her father, not anyone. Just her."

"Then what's with all the mercs?" Walters asked.

Niket tsked, "I underestimated Lawson, he told me he would send one of his employees to help transfer her, if Enyala was still in one piece you would have found the mini-explosives I slipped onto her Armor." We looked over to the blood stain that was once an Asari.

Walters gave a nervous giggle, "Holy shit, Miranda was right, you can handle yourself."

"Yeah well, I couldn't fight off an army of mercs, so I sent a warning to Miranda, I was planning to sneak away in the chaos and warn Oriana, But Enyala wouldn't leave my damn side. I guess she didn't plan on Commander Shepard and a bunch of heavily armed weirdos mowing down her entire team."

"You betrayed me," I hissed.

"I don't know who you are, but my friend, Miri, didn't want to live under the rule of a monster, and I doubt she would want her sister to live under a puppet master."

"I ONLY WANT THE BEST FOR HER!"

"DOES SHE EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE!?"

"I-" Shepard's magic gripped me, "No," I answered.

"Then what do you know what's best for her? Will you do this again? If she gets a failing grade, will you threaten her teacher, if she doesn't want to join a school you don't like, will you threaten her scholarships, if she dates a boy you find ugly, will you make him disappear!?"

"I-"

"You pretend you're better than your father, but you act the same."

I slapped him across the face. It was one thing for Shepard to say that, he was a stranger, But Niket. My tears were salty and I couldn't stop shivering. I wanted to throw up, to yell, to deny his words.

"Niket," Shepard spoke up, "Does her father know where Oriana is?"

"... of course not," he sighed, "I don't trust that man, I know what he is, my job was to bring Enyala to Oriana and get paid. I was going to kill Enyala, tell Oriana the truth, lie to Lawson, and say Miranda found out and killed Enyala and moved her sister before I could do anything. I would then lie to Miranda telling her that Lawson took Oriana before I could do anything and disappear as they killed each other. Oriana's free and I get paid for at least helping."

"That's one hell of a plan~," Nick shook his head.

"Of mice and men~," Niket huffed.

"Miranda~?" Shepard asked.

I stared at Niket for a long time, he didn't flinch this time, his cheek was red and no doubt painful, but he didn't flinch. "We need to get to Oriana," I answered, walking away.

"She's not a toy, don't treat her like one." was the last thing I heard from Niket. Shepard followed not long after.

"Walters?" I asked as we reached the elevator.

Shepard shrugged, "He had to talk with Niket, you know Nick, probably going to say some magic stuff, give him money for his child, and somehow beat us to Oriana above us."

I felt my anger rising, "He would help him, he betrayed us."

Shepard shook his head, "What are you talking about? Miri asked for his help," he answered using my Nickname. He pressed the button to head upwards. "She asked for Niket to help her sister, are you telling me, that telling Oriana the truth, that a mad man, whom I can only describe as eugenics brought to life, is hunting her, and that she has a loving, if overprotective and insane, older sister that wants only the best for her? I'm not going to lie, Miranda, I don't know your life story, I don't know how you got recruited into Cerberus, I don't even know what your favorite color is, but I do know that you care for your sister. The question is, how much do you love her? Does she deserve to know about herself? About the danger she is in? I can tell you this~, if she is as smart as you, as strong as you, as devoted, she will make waves in the future, are you going to micromanage her entire life?"

"... I wanna punch you."

"We are in an elevator with nowhere to run, I don't think you're going to get a better chance than this."

"...Will I get in trouble?"

"... how hard are you planning on hitting me?"

"... I don't wanna punch you anymore."

That made him laugh. The doors opened on an outdoor pavilion with dozens of men, women, and children, all blissfully unaware of the madness that happened beneath their very feet. They were all so... Normal. Some going to work, others on dates, parents talking with their children, Nick talking to Oriana, some late for-

.

.

.

I slowly turned back to Nick, who slowly looked up and shot me the smuggest grin I have ever seen, and I've seen Kai Lang's... face. I didn't know what happened, one second, I was next to a laughing Shepard, the next I was flying through the air, drop kicking Nick in the chest.

"Okay but why!?" Nick groaned as he flew across the floor.

I quickly jumped to my feet, and turned to a blanked face Oriana, "Whatever he said was a lie!"

She just calmly looked at me, "So you're not Ms. Rogers, Mr. Jones's replacement?" she drawled. Mr. Jones was Niket's cover.

"Uh? Yes?" caught flatfooted, this was embarrassing.

"It's okay, but for a secret agent, you're not very good at lying," she deadpanned.

"What? I'm not-"

"Miranda Lawson," that shut me up. "Born 2150. You won an Award for the youngest violinist at the age of 12, went missing at 15."

"Holy... shit," Nick groaned from the floor. "Look out... I think... she's a cop... or worse... an above-average detective."

"How-"

"I know I'm adopted, my parents told me when I asked at the age of 8. I tried to see if my family was still alive but didn't find anything, so I investigated the orphanage where I lived, it took me some time, but I was able to find some footage of a heavily covered woman dropping off a baby at the orphanage's doorstep on the same day I was reported in the orphanage's records, I had to hack a few cameras and followed you until you removed your disguise, you can imagine my shock when you looked just like me, so I used some facial recognition software on myself to see if anything popped up, you started popping up in a lot of places. The Citadel, Illium, Omega, Earth, Thessia. You appeared everywhere."

"Why do you think I'm a secret agent?"

"I didn't, at first, I thought you were a thief or worse, a real estate agent. But 'he' made it all clear," she pointed at Shepard.

"Me?" he pointed to himself.

"Commander John Shepard, the Lion of Elysium, Butcher of Tofan, the first human spectre, hero of the citadel... and Cartoon icon. You wouldn't have someone in your team who was only, okay, at their job. So, I assumed that you are some kind of Agent or assassin," she answered without batting an eyelash.

"How do you know I'm Shepard?" John asked.

She just jutted her thumb at a shop's window with a Shepard VI.

"... Oh my god!" Walters wheezed, "It's... a Shepard VI! I've been... going crazy looking for one!" he slowly got up, "... dibs!

"Don't bother, they're sold out, that's just a display."

"DAMN IT!" He fell to his knees.

She turned to Walters, "Nick Walters... I don't know much about you. You showed up in the citadel at the same time the Asari scandal hit the Extranet, the only thing I could find about you was some pictures from some Fantasy website about real dragons, your Cartoon site, and some Chats about some extremely wealthy individual with glowing eyes giving money away to every Quarian he came across. There are also rumors of a magic man that came from another dimension to steal all our cheese~," she deadpanned.

"That was me," he pridefully pronounced, "Tali has been teaching me how to use the extranet, and I started making crazy rumors to muddy the waters about myself," he dusted himself off and summoned a flashy cape and crown, and draped it on Oriana's shoulders, "You officially scare me. I dub you the scary girl of the year. You can keep the crown and cape~," he waved goodbye running away.

She pulled the crown from her head, "Is this real gold?"

"Probably~," Shepard answered, "I'm going to make sure he doesn't get in any trouble, have fun." He also ran away. That bastard.

.

.

.

This is awkward. Do I say something? What do I say?

"Will I also look like that when I'm 40?" she deadpanned.

"I'm 35." this little brat~.

"I know, but I read that younger sisters make fun of their older sibling's age."

"... I... I'm sorry I couldn't look after you."

"Why? My mother and father are good people. I grew up in a good home. I went to a good school. I'm happy," she answered, her face not changing from her ever-passive look. "You don't have to tell me anything about your business, I understand that secret Agents shouldn't do that."

"No! I... You deserve to know a few things; I should start from the beginning."

-/-

Nick POV

I was relaxing in the Bar going over Shepard's animated series, it just went live, and I wanted to make sure everything was okay. I was also working on an Animated series of the 5th Blight, I wasn't sure that I would release it in Thedas though, the blight was still fresh, but it should be fine in a place where magic, more or less, doesn't exist.

Ilium was coming to an end, kinda. The Normandy was at full strength, more or less, the new shields were working fine, the armor was firmly in place, the large arc reactor was powering the Normandy to the max, and had enough mining Probes to rip a planet apart. We were planning on heading for Alliance Space to test the Puma x-8.

HACK ON!

Suddenly I was standing on a pier with a fishing rod as it went taut, acting quick I pulled on the rod, widened my feet, and lowered my center of gravity. Fishing is all about waiting, drinking alcohol with your friends, and brief but intense life-changing action. Whatever was on the end of the line didn't want to be caught and was more than willing to drag me under, but Tali was a cruel taskmaster when it came to my omni-tool lessons.

I would give slack and pull back like I was a wave, anyone who ever said fishing is a lazy sport is full of it! My arms, legs, shoulders, and back muscles were burning like hell! It felt like hours before I pulled out a goddamn whopper of a tuna from the digital sea.

HACKER CAUGHT!

Choose one of the following counters:

Shock – do 5 points of electrical damage and stun your hacker for 15 seconds. Buzz-Buzz!

Data mine – take a small amount of Data from the hacker. Fairs fair!

Nothing – because you're merciful.

There were more counters, but I was only intermediate at hacking, this was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I selected a counter.

"YEOUCH!?" Tali squeaked, jumping from her booth and flopping to the floor, she's really gotten into tank tops and baggy pants. She was on her feet the second the paralysis ended, "YOU ASSHOLE!" She tried to punch me, but I phased through her fist.

I chortled like a supervillain, "What did you think was going to happen when you attack a master hacker like myself," I gloated.

She grinded her teeth. "Master hacker huh~!?"

HACK ON!

I was no longer on that nice pier on a sunny windless day pulling in a fish.

No, now I was on a plank of wood, out on the ocean, in the middle of a thunderstorm. My fishing rod connected not to a fish, but to a goddamn purple Kraken. "RAAAAAAAAAR!" a very pissed off Kraken. I didn't even get to pull on my rod before the Kraken slammed down one of its humongous tentacles on me.

The HACKER got away, better luck next time~.

You have been shocked by 25 points of electrical damage! You have been paralyzed for 2 minutes!

Vit Stat has lowered the time to 30 seconds.

Due to your hard work and effort, you have leveled up your skill:

Hacking – have you tried turning it off and on?

Rank – intermediate

Weapons:

Sad fishing rod

Weak spear

Normal fishing rod

Stone spear

New!

Carbon fiber fishing rod

Steel tip spear

That was the only notice before I lit up like a candle, locked up in place, and flopped to the floor.

"Hehehe~" Tali gloated standing over me. "What's wrong 'master hacker'~. Couldn't even keep your firewalls up~?"

"Aren't you a little too cocky~" I groaned from the floor.

"Not really~, I'm about the right amount of cocky." she sat on my hips, "Wrex taught me how to project power that I possess, and my Hacking skills are top-notch," she smirked digging through my pockets.

"Um... Tali, are you mugging me?" I asked as she patted my chest.

"It's been 3 days and John hasn't lifted my punishment," she hissed removing my shirt, before tsking and moving me from side to side looking for Snacks.

"Maybe you're in trouble because you can't control your tum-tum~," I teased.

"Do you have any idea what nutrient paste tastes like!" she growled, gripping my face so I could see the madness in her eyes.

"... No," this went from cute-crazy to crazy-crazy real fast.

She reached behind her back and pulled out a cylindrical object. "Neither did I~. I lived in blissful ignorance," she shook the container, "This didn't taste like anything, it was simply energy in a can, Calories for my body to work longer~." she smiled down at me, using her way stronger fingers to open my mouth, "And then you came along, with your cute little dance and your silly little magic, but then you made a mistake. You fed me." she shoved the container into my mouth.

"GAK!" It tasted like sawdust... and sadness. I tried to spit it out, but Tali kept my mouth shut, forcing me to swallow it.

Click. We froze, slowly looking up and spotting Julee pointing her omni-tool at us. "My oh my~, what do we have here~? I know you were bold Tali, but to do it in a Bar where anyone can watch~." her smile seemed to split her face.

"This isn't what it looks like!" Tali tried to excuse.

"Really?" John's unamused voice came from behind Julee, "Cuz where I'm standing it looks a lot like you're trying to torturing Nick for his snacks."

"... Nope," Tali squeaked, before looking down at me, and my shirtless chest, before looking back at Shepard, "I, uh... was, uh, SEDUCING HIM!" What kind of excuse was that!?

"Seducing him~?" Shepard drawled clearly not believing a word she said.

"YES! This is how Quarian's seduce!" she was clearly making this stuff up on the spot. "I was... checking him for... diseases." What~?

"Diseases~?" Shepard blinked.

"Yes... we Quarians, can see... Diseases." I think her lie was dealing me psychic damage. "It's a small ability my people have... we don't talk about it... because it's... private."

.

.

.

"Two weeks," Shepard extended her punishment.

"JOHN! NOOO! You have to believe me!" she cried.

"Believe that Quarian seduce their lovers by shocking, mugging, and force-feeding them? As well as have the power to see diseases?" he asked.

"... Yes~," she squeaked.

"No."

"... I didn't think I would have to do this, but I will use the Nuclear option," Tali growled. Nuclear option? "I'm going to call your mother," she threatened, pulling up her Omni-tool.

Shepard just smirked at her, "You got nothing on me~."

"The Fornax contract," was all she said.

He pulled up his Omni-tool, a glare etched onto his face, "Your father would love to know about your new 'HUMAN' boyfriend~."

This became a standoff rather quickly. "How about we all just... breathe. There's no need for anyone to destroy their family relationship." Mediating from under a Quarian is new but my diplomacy skill needed some XP, "Now Tali, John is one of your best friends and commanding officer, he only wants you not to overindulge and get sick or worse. John, Tali is one of your closest confidants and head Engineer, she just got her freedom and only wants to catch up on all the things she dreamed of doing. So how about it, let's put the nukes away." they continued to glare but slowly lowered their Omni-tools. "See~, Friendship. John, Tali would like to Eat something that doesn't taste like sawdust... and sadness. Tali, John wants you to have better control of your dietary intake. So, how about we start with soup, soup is good, easy with the spices."

"I want to be part of Nick's chocolate test," Tali demanded.

"No alcohol for a week," he countered.

"Deal." They shook on it, a chime came from Shepard's omni-tool causing him to make a speedy exit.

"And diplomacy won yet again~," I cheered, "isn't that great?" Tali just stared down at me with a look that screamed, 'Where do you think you're going?' "Tali?"

She pinched my mouth, parting my lips, "You're a bit handsy, aren't you?" I looked down to find my hands resting on her hips.

Shit, "Instinct~?" I begged.

She raised the nutrient paste to my lips, but I quickly stopped her, "Did you, really think, you were going to get, away with it~?" she growled trying to shove the container into my mouth.

"Says the woman, straddling me," I smirked, I was far stronger than Tali, but she was playing dirty, grinding on me, I don't think she knew what she was doing. Julee wasn't helping.

"Yeeesss~, Tali, let the anger flow through you~," she hissed, sitting on my hips, whispering into Tali's ear. I was just going to phase right through them, but Julee was using her Mana to counter mine, blocking me.

Gamer's mind has blocked Julia Hope's Racial ability: Lust

Tali's face was flushed, and the grin she had was downright predatory, like a Cat that cornered a canary. "Tali, I need you to focus." Julee took that moment to grind down on my hips, causing me to lose focus.

"You hear him Tali~," Julee whispered, "The nerve of this butt-face to tell you what to do." she began to massage Tali's scalp, "You, who has been working so hard, who has been denied your sweets, who built a new FTL engine out of scraps." Scraps!? I gave you guys top-of-the-line materials.

"Tali, don't listen to her. You're a strong independent woman that needs no man," I hissed, the Paste dripping on my cheek. Tali started blinking, gaining some control of herself.

"Need? What does 'need' have to do with anything~," Julee whispered to Tali, "This is a reward, your reward, you worked yourself to the bone since you got here, the engine, the shields, having to work with Cerberus, and let's not forget the training, this butt face has been staring at your ass the whole time~," Tali's eyes regained her glare, going right back to trying to force feed me paste. "Yeeesss~, Tali~. Wasn't he the one that wanted you to be selfish? To take what you want? Take him, Tali~," she hissed like a snake, her hand slowly massaging down Tali's back. "He has the sweets, he has the food, he has... everything~." Julee practically hid herself behind Tali's back, her glowing Sulfur eyes dancing with glee. A dangerous smirk was growing across Tali's face, a look of vindictive pleasure shining in her eyes.

"Tali! Don't listen to her!" I huffed; Julee wasn't making it easy to keep my composure with her dry humping. "She's using you! When I found out about the chocolate, I hid all the sweets!" Wow~. "She's using you to get what she wants."

Julee's hands danced across Tali's arms before puppet-ing them, helping her overpower me. "All the better to break him my love~, he holds our reward, our chocolate, he was even planning on excluding you from the tests." she began lowering the paste to my mouth. "Make him understand your pain, your hate... your power~. You are in control of this relationship, if you want chocolate, take it, if you want Coaxium, take it, if you want Nick~… take him~." she started kissing down Tali's neck, causing her to shiver and breathe heavily, that Devil!

"Be strong Tali! Roll a Wisdom check! The J-Familia doesn't share sweets! They take! The second she gets the chocolate she'll betray you! Be strong!" I can smell the blandness!

"THERE HE GOES AGAIN!" Julee hissed into Tali's ear, "You are strong, powerful, who is he to tell you to be something you already are. Show him, show him how much stronger you are!" Julee reached out shoving her thumb to keeping me from shutting it close, it didn't stop me from biting, nothing rough but enough to get my point across. Julee just giggled like wind chimes on a summer's day, "He has so much spirit, let's take it for ourselves~." Tali was lost in Julee's power and the paste was too close. Oh gods, NOOOOO!

"Are you idiots done," Jenny's gruff words broke the mood. We slowly looked over to her, she was giving us an annoyed look. "I wanna get a beer and a sandwich and I don't want to see a bunch of horny idiots ruining my snack. If I wanted that I would have gone to the cockpit."

"Jenny~," Kasumi hissed, "I was watching that!" We slowly looked over to a smirking Kasumi and a blushing Zura doing a terrible job of covering her eyes. We slowly looked around the bar finding a few more people, either blushing or hiding smirks. Tali then slowly looked back to me, her flushed look of confidence and pride was now burning red with embarrassment, looking down at where she was sitting, no doubt feeling Julee's warmth and saliva on her neck. She tried getting up, but Julee's tail was wrapped around her waist keeping her in place.

"J-J-Julee?" she stuttered, eyes wide and body shaking.

"Yeees~, my sweet Quarian roll?" Julee asked with an innocent smile on her face that could do no harm.

"C-Can you let me go?" she begged.

"Mmm~, No~." she held her closer, "I have no reason to~," she stage-whispered into her ear, Causing poor Tali to shiver. "And you're so warm~." This is why you shouldn't make deals with Devils; they tend to gain the upper hand and don't let go when they do.

"I-I-I-I-"

"I'll tell you what~, I still want another model~," Julee teased blowing into her ear, causing Tali to squeak, "And you just so happen to be the right size~."

"Y-you would let me go?" Tali squeaked.

Julee nuzzled into her neck, "Of course~. Just sign here~," she pulled out a contract. How long has she had that!? Does she just carry it around? Tali didn't give it a second thought and signed, getting Julee to let her go. She jumped to her feet and rushed to the door. "Oh! And Tali!" She caught Tali before she ran out of the room. Julee tapped her blue lips, "My lipstick won't fade for 3 days~." Tali's face looked ready to catch on fire, slapping her hand to her neck before she ran out of the room, "So cute~." she dragged her fingers down my chest as she got up, before passing Jenny some gloves, "You did wonderful my dear~."

"Hol-y-shit!" Kasumi gasped, "I didn't see this coming!" Neither did I! What the hell!? "Jenny you were in on this!?"

Jenny just huffed, "Duh, what do I care if they fuck on the floor~, if they want carpet burn that's their business," she grinned putting on the gloves, "I can punch really hard with these?"

Julee nodded, "Of course~."

"Wait!" Kasumi screamed, "How did you this was going to happen!?"

Julee laughed, before smirking at us, "Who do you think gave Tali the idea?" she went on a long-detailed plan, on how she subtly manipulated Tali by pointing out how bad the Nutrient paste tasted, how good it would feel to get back at me for not giving her food, stunning me by using my omni-tool, getting me on the floor and blocking my escape, she would then get Tali drunk on power, and right before she got her revenge, she had Jenny ride in, breaking Tali out of her power trip, and into her... tender mercies.

"Was Shepard also a part of it?" Kasumi asked.

"Evilness no~, he came out of nowhere, man can be a bit of a rogue for a warrior sometimes. I doubt he would like to see his sister fall into my trap, My brother didn't like how some of his friends hit on us. So, I had to get rid of him."

"The omni-tool~," Zura gasped.

"Yes, I find it delicious that it was Tali's lessons that helped me activate his fish alarm. He really should have bought that automatic fish feeder," she laughed like a mad woman.

"That is... Extremely convoluted," Kasumi pointed out, "I mean, so many things could have gone wrong, Tali doesn't straddle Nick, the paste could taste okay, Tali could have shaken off your power play, Shepard could have stayed, you could have failed to hack his omni-tool. There were way too many moving parts!"

"Except~, I talked about Nick's hips being his weakness out loud, about how he carries snacks with him, I trained Nick to get a good grip when one of us sits on him, put sawdust in the paste, I've been slowly seducing Tali with my natural musk reinforcing my smell with good ideas, practice my hacking since I got my omni-tool, and I've been reminding Shepard about his fish." she raised her omni-tool getting a chime. She leaned forward, eyes glowing, "I'm not perfect, but damn if I don't try~." she backed away with a smile, "And now I have my three Quarian models~!" she cheered skipping away.

.

.

.

We just sat there in that silence.

"Oh damn, she crazy~," Jenny pointed out.

"Do... do you think she has a plan for me?" Kasumi asked. "She... she can't, right? I mean, she told me her plan... unless that's part of her plan."

I just laid back on the floor, before I leaned back up, "Three Quarian Models?"

-/-

Our first Chocolate test went... as well as we expected. We did learn some things, like artificial chocolate had a different effect on Quarians. We concluded that my Magic Chocolates may have mimicked whatever the Artificial sweets used. Normal chocolates seemed to just make them happy, at least that's what we were able to deduce by their humming and squealing.

The tests didn't end there, Mordin and I made milkshakes, donuts, pies, candies, muffins, fruits, soda, juice, artificial and natural, anything and everything we could get our hands on. Those poor Quarians were stuffed by the end of the tests, they had to sleep most of the day. Lia was the first to rise, which we chalked to her Chi and Magic, she felt fine and ready for anything. Tali and Zura on the other hand woke with a tummy ache, whining and acting like they were going to die any minute. Tali moaned out that only Chocolate could cure them... we left them to rot.

At the end of the day, we concluded that something in the Artificial Chocolate was acting like a high-powered Catnip that sent Quarians into overload, we were going to need a larger test sample but as long as I didn't use any magic or Artificial chocolate it should be fine.

We still had other tests, but they could wait. We had other things to do.

"So, Hackett isn't just going to rob us, right?" I asked Shepard. We were standing in the cockpit with Dogmeat, Joker, and EDI, watching the dreadnought SSV Everest slowly pull up next to us.

"No, we have the green light from Anderson," Shepard shrugged, he was dressed in his Sunday's best, all his metals, military attire, freshly shaved, and hair perfectly buzzed.

"Oh yeah, cuz the military never did things behind people's backs~," Joker drawled.

"Admiral Hackett is one of the most decorated officers in the Alliance Navy," EDI pointed out, "he is a living legend."

Joker just scoffed, "All I know about the guy was that we were his personal errand boys. There are some Crazy cults over there, clean that up, our biotics are upset because we don't treat them right, do something about that, Batarians are trying to crash an asteroid into one of our planets, remind them who's in charge. At one point I was pretty certain we were the entire Alliance Navy, and all other ships were paper cutouts floating through space."

"I wouldn't say that to his face," Shepard muttered.

"Everest to Normandy, do you copy?" someone came over the Comms.

"This is Normandy, we copy," EDI called back.

"We're docking, be ready to receive the boarding party."

"Copy," EDI answered.

It took a moment, but the Ships connected with a space bridge. Five fully armed Alliance marines were the first to greet us. There were some familiar faces.

"Ash," Shepard said, looking her in the eye.

"Shepard."

"Awkward~," Joker muttered, "Don't I get a cold hello. You know, me, Joker, saved your life a few times, you remember me?"

"Didn't think you would join Cerberus," She hissed.

"Hey! I joined Shepard!" He stood to his full height, standing 4 inches taller than her, much to her shock. "I wasn't going to climb the military ladder to a place that tried washing his honor down the drain," he growled.

"Jeff," EDI held him back.

"We didn't come here to start a fight Lieutenant Commander," Admiral Hackett called out as he walked onto the ship. He sounded like he gargled rocks with his cereal. He had an aura of a man who has seen shit and done much more. He reminded me a bit of Loghain, authority just radiated off him. if you've ever met an old person who works in a dangerous profession, you know he's probably the most dangerous man in the room.

"Sorry Sir," Ashley got back in position.

Shepard and Joker saluted, their Military training kicking in on instinct.

Human, Master strategist

Steven Hackett

Lvl: 32

Age: 51

HP: 600/600

Str: serious old man strength

Vit: works out with his troops

Dex: creaky joints

Int: can out play you in 4-D chess and checkers at the same time

Wis: an ounce of kindness prevents a lifetime of hate

Cha: living legend

Luk: luck of the devil

Ailments:

Bad hip (140MP)

hypertension (120 MP)

Gallstones (50 MP)

Slow metabolism (90 MP)

Joint pain (50 MP)

Hackett was born in Buenos Aires in 2134. When his mother died in 2146, he was placed in the Advanced Training Academy for Juveniles, where his affinity for science and leadership quickly became evident. Hackett enlisted in 2152, volunteering for high-risk missions to colonize space beyond the Sol Relay. He was commissioned as a second lieutenant in 2156 and participated in the First Contact War the following year. His rare ascent from enlisted man to admiral remains an Alliance legend.

He knows who you are and is willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.

"As you were," he ordered, getting Joker and Shepard to return to normal. "Good to see that death didn't take your training."

"If anything, it reinforced it sir," Shepard joked.

"Mmm~," Hackett scanned the cockpit landing on me.

"Steven~," I saluted nonchalantly. Clearly, some of his soldiers didn't like that but didn't make a move.

"Meat," Dogmeat greeted, getting Steven to raise an eyebrow at the dog.

"I'm technically Fereldan nobility, dogs are a big part of our culture," I explained, "When greeting others of high status, it's important to bring your dog with you, it shows that others not of your race are willing to follow you. It also shows your trustworthiness; Dogs have the ability to tell the character of an individual at first glance."

"That's ridiculous," Ashley huffed.

"Yes~," I drawled, rolling my eyes, "you know what's also ridiculous? Giant space robots that kill all sentient life in the Galaxy every 50,000 years, space wizards that travel dimensions, people coming back from the dead. Get your head out of your ass Lieutenant, the outside galaxy is beyond ridiculous, if you're lucky you might be able to see some of it~."

"Meat~," Dogmeat chuffed, shaking his head.

"He doesn't like you," I translated.

"Meat."

"He thinks you're the kind of person who would leave him to die when the going gets tough."

"Meat."

"But he does like your... conditioner?"

"Meat~."

"Sorry he meant your breath, something about a meat sandwich, I'm still a little new to 'Dog-anesse'." I turned to Steve, "You want me to get rid of those gallstones?" I asked.

He gave me an amused smirk, "I'm guessing you're Nick Walters."

"That's me, smarter than your average tuna fish, reasonably good-looking, easily manipulated by beautiful women~, a pleasure to meet you." I stuck out my hand for a shake.

He stared at it for a moment, before shaking it. man had a good grip, with callous fingers. I healed his Ailments, lighting him up for a moment, his guards didn't like that, but before they did anything stupid the light show ended. His body still gave off a bit of a glow, but it faded after a moment.

Steve stretched out his limbs and popped his joints, "That was more than just Gallstones."

"In for a copper~," I shrugged, "Might as well give the rest of it a tone up. Joints, hypertension, hips," I summoned a hamburger, "Your metabolism. You should eat. Healing is a two-way street; your body is going to need food to energize its newly refreshed body."

Ashley pointed her rifle at me, "STEP AWAY-"

"Clothes beam~," I drawled, hitting Ashley in the chest changing her armor into a leather bikini top and a loincloth, and her gun into a crude wooden spear.

"WHA!?" she screamed, dropping her spear and covering her body. Shepard choked on his spit, and Joker started snickering under his breath. "WHAT DID YOU DO!?"

"What did you think was going to happen when you point a gun at a wizard?" I asked. "Be happy I didn't turn you into a newt~. Are you by any chance an idiot? Cuz not 30 seconds ago I told him I was going to heal him. You need to focus and stop imagining Shepard in booty shorts," I teased.

"Why are you like this~," Shepard muttered.

"I heard jokes are a good way to break the ice." I whispered back, "Why do you think I'm Joker's best man."

"You are not my best man, Wrex is my best man," Joker whispered, we gave him a strange look, "I lost a bet."

"Change me back!" Ashely interrupted us.

"... you're annoying, so no. I don't like you, you are not my friend, you're not even my ally, don't demand things from me." I turned to Hackett, "So Anderson told me you have a pilot for the X-8? Not gonna lie, I was just planning on using a VI, that way no one was in danger."

"Lieutenant, return to the Everest and get a change of... armor," Hackett ordered.

"BELAY THAT!" a voice ordered from the airlock. Shepard snapped ramrod straight, eyes as wide as dinner plates. A red-haired woman no taller than 5'5 walked into the cockpit; she was wearing a similar outfit as Hackett but her uniform had an N7 on her chest.

Human barbarian

Hannah 'battle axe' Shepard

Lvl: 36

Age: 53

HP: 800/800

Str: serious old woman strength

Vit: runs her crew into the ground, literally

Dex: can drop-kick you and land on her feet

Int: punch first ask questions later

Wis: a smile can break a man as good as any fist

Cha: she's pretty, in a deadly amazon kind of way

Luk: makes her own luck

Ailments:

Carpal tunnel

Weak joints

Busted hips

PTSD

Hypertension

Slow metabolism

Born in 2135, Hannah Shepard was born on earth on the mean streets of New Amsterdam, Netherlands. Taking over most of the city's underworld through blood, sweat, and other people's broken bones, she was feared throughout the European league's underworld for being ruthless. It came to the shock of many that she joined the system alliance out of the blue one day, followed by getting married not long after, no one was more surprised than her. But just because she left the gang life didn't mean the gang life left her, many who used to follow her felt angry and betrayed by her actions, so they challenged her for her power, any who tried were later found recruited into the Alliance... Forcibly.

She made a name for herself on multiple missions, from First Contact to pirates, her Ship the SSV Orizaba is feared by Pirate and Council alike, for whoever gets in her way is chopped down.

She knows who you are and is not impressed, but her son stuck up for you so she's giving you the benefit of the doubt.

Shepard's mom was a mafia boss!?

"WHERE THE HELL IS YOUR WEAPON LIEUTENANT!?" she roared, getting Ashley to scramble for her spear, but Hannah's foot was already pinning it to the floor, "is your weapon on the floor Williams?" That was not a question.

"I-"

"Was it slapped out of your hands? Are you telling me that an enemy was able to sneak up on you without you noticing? I know you didn't drop it, right?" Hannah was practically looming over Ashley. "I trained you better."

"Ma~," John called out, only to back off at the glare she shot him.

"AND YOU~," she hissed, quick as a whip her hand shot out and grabbed him by the ear, bending Shepard to his knees. "I had to get an email from that little shit Anderson to learn that you were alive."

"AH! MA! MA! You're going to tear it off! MA, PLEASE!" Shepard cried, holding his mother's hand.

"Captain~," Hackett drawled.

Hannah just tsked, letting go of John and Ashley. Before eyeballing me, "So you're the Punk that has the Brass crawling over themselves to kiss your ass huh~? You're shorter than I thought you'd be."

"Uh, tha-" DANGER! I made my body incorporeal allowing Hannah's foot to phase through my crotch, "HOLY!? The hell you hag!?"

"You think I'm just going to let you mess with my Daughter-in-law!? You two-bit magician."

"Daughter-in-law!?" John asked.

"OI, who are you calling a two-bit Magician? You pint-sized thug?" I growled, staring her down, "I don't care if you're John's mama, I'll whoop your ass, granny~."

"You little shits grow bolder and bolder every year." A vein on her forehead was thumping with rage.

"HANNAH! Calm down ya pint-sized firecracker!" We snapped our gaze to the end of the hall finding an annoyed Chakwas.

"KARIN!?" Hannah gasped. "What the hell are you doing here!? You told me you were going on vacation!"

"It's my vacation, I can go wherever I want," Chakwas huffed.

"You know her?" I asked.

"We used to run in similar circles when we were younger," she waved away my question.

"YOU USED TO BE A GANGSTER!?" I yelled.

"HEY! Who are you calling a gangster!?" Hannah growled, "I was a legitimate businesswoman!"

"Your business was crime!" I countered, dodging an uppercut.

"Say that to my face!"

"I DID! Do you need me to crouch down there so you can hear me you shrimp!?" She aimed another punch at my chin, but I went incorporeal, before grabbing her face, healing her ailments, and tossing her away, only for her to land on her feet like a damn cat.

She flexed her muscles and cracked her joints, "What's this for?"

"I don't want any excuses after I kick your ass," I growled, cracking my fists.

"ENOUGH!" Hackett ordered freezing us in place. "I can't take you anywhere Hannah, I swear."

"Huh!? What are you talking about?" Hannah questioned, "It's called aggressive negotiations."

"We're not negotiating!" he huffed. "We're just here to pick something up for testing!"

"... oh yeah~," she turned to John, "so are you going to show me around or are you going to lay there all day?"

"OI! Apologize for attacking me!" I demanded.

She gave me a confused look, "Huh!? Why would I apologize to a little shit like you? Get over yourself~. Ash, follow," she ordered walking deeper into the ship.

I was about to leave a boot-sized imprint on her backside, but EDI and Joker held me back. "Let me at her! Let me at her!"

"Calm down!" EDI ordered, "This is my body you're fighting in!"

"YEAH! I'm the only one that gets to mess up my girlfriend's insides!" Joker teased.

"JEFF!?" EDI blushed.

"Get a room you two~," I huffed getting control of myself.

"We would but you keep fighting in it~," EDI huffed.

I turned and gave her a long look, "You've come a long way," I smiled.

"Yeah~, turns out having sex is great and when I'm not doing it, I become violently angry, so stop fighting and get out," she ordered shoving me out of the cockpit before it sealed itself.

I turned to a confused Hackett and his group of soldiers, "Space madness, nothing to see here."

"Right~, I'm guessing that's the AI Anderson told me about? The one married to the Pilot?" Hackett asked.

"The very same. So, with John kowtowing to his mother why don't I show you to the Puma X-8."

He gave me another look, "I don't think you can just name it that."

"No worries, I have diplomatic immunity," I smiled.

"... I don't think that's how that works either."

-/-

John Shepard POV

"This is the Armory," I showed my mom Jacob's Workshop, it was magically expanded, with a large area reinforced for weapon testing and holograms for quick ideas for weapon modifications.

"Oh!" Jacob called out turning to us, only to spot a cavewoman with a spear, "... Nick?"

"Nick. Mom, this is Jacob Taylor, the Armory Chief," I introduced Jacob, who was even more shocked to meet my mother.

Ma tsked, walking around the room, checking the guns with Ash.

Jacob slid up next to me, "What is 'Battle Axe' Shepard and your girlfriend doing on the Normandy?" he whispered to me.

"I have no idea," I whispered back, "I thought only Hackett was going to show up."

"John!?" Ma called out.

"Yeah!?"

"Where are your fancy weapons, the ones your little magic man made you?" she huffed looking at the weapon Jacob had on the rack.

"Uh, oh, uh, those are under lock and key, they're rather powerful and we don't want accidents," I answered.

She gave me a long look, "Well?"

"Uh, right~." I looked over to the large vault Nick put in the room, man loved his vaults.

"Shepard you can't be serious? You know Nick isn't going to like this~, one of the few rules he had was not to play with the dangerous magical weapons," Jacob warned.

"It's fine~, it's just for a minute, we'll put them right back." I walked over to the vault, added the pin number, scanned my hand, signed the consent form, blew the breathalyzer, and turned the wheel to open the vault.

The Weapon's vault was large with every weapon ever made for the crew, from guns to swords to armor, everything had runes and was given its own space and light show with a full description of what the weapon could do. Nick loved to show off.

"How does anyone find something in this place?" Ashley huffed.

"Right over here," I led them over to the weapons console, "What are you looking for?"

"Something that removes annoyances with deadly efficiency," Ma answered.

"... Ma, that's everything in this room."

"Don't get sassy with me young man~," she warned.

"How about~," I started typing away at the controls, "My Gauss rifle." Entering my search, a hologram appeared in front of us of the weapon Nick gifted me. Selecting it a beam of light lit up deep in the vault before the gun came flying to the console. "WHOA!" I called out stopping my mom from grabbing the weapon, "No-no, don't do that. You're not part of the security system. If you were to reach in and grab the gun this whole place would go into lockdown trapping us inside with dozens of golems, no way out, and every weapon sinking into the floor. Everything in here is booby-trapped." I warned.

"That's... a bit overkill~, don't you think?" Ash asked.

"There are some dangerous things in here," I shrugged, taking the gun, "Better safe than sorry. Come, let's test this bad boy out~." I led them out the door, picking up some ammo on the way out, Ma had that look in her eye she had for weapons of mass destruction... and Pa when she came back for shore leave. The horror.

Half an hour later, and over a hundred bullets fired, Ma was finally satisfied.

"I'm happy you're happy~," I smiled reaching for the gun only for her to pull it away, "Ma?"

"... sorry son, this is mine now."

"MA~!"

"Don't you yell at your mother!"

"Ma, that's not a toy, it's a powerful magic-infused weapon, you can't just take it! You don't know how to keep it clean, the magic used, the ammo required, and we both know the brass will confiscate it the moment you get back to the Everest," I pointed out.

"The Brass can eat my shorts! I have enough dirt on them to bury them up to their necks!" I just glared at her, "Are you really going to take this away from your poor mother? After your dad died?"

"Pa died 10 years ago! You can't keep using the dead husband excuse anymore!"

"Oh, I see, you've moved on quickly," she huffed.

"No, don't you try and guilt trip me! He was my dad and I loved him too!"

She started crying, "Oh! So, you don't love me! Is that it!?"

"FINE! FINE! Keep the damn thing!"

She immediately stopped crying, "Thank you son, I love you. I hope you're paying attention Williams! This is the only way to get Shepard men to behave."

Ash blushed, "Uh-"

"Ma, we're not engaged," I corrected.

"Oh... so my son is going to be a bachelor for the rest of his life? No grandchildren for me to love? Is this where the Shepard line comes to an end?"

"MA! Giant ancient warships are coming to end the galaxy as we know it!"

"OH! So there's no time for romance!? No time for love!? Do you know how me and your father met!?" Here we go again~. "Back before I joined the Alliance, when I was a... Legitimate businesswoman," gangster, "I was having a disagreement with some... coworkers," other gangsters, "and your father-"

"-Showed up, saved your life, and carried you off to a life of domestic bliss~," I finished.

"Wrong! He got his ass kicked... I mean, had a heated debate that he lost. But he didn't run away, he stood his ground against... Trained debaters, after I helped him, I learned he was shipping off with the Alliance, and you know what I did!?"

"Chased after him~."

CHASED AFTER HIM! Johnny~," she squished my cheeks, "I'm happy you're trying to save the galaxy, but don't forget about your well being, if you don't look after yourself, you're going to find yourself alone with no one to come home to. Promise me that you'll keep an open mind, and not to give up on love?"

"... I promise Ma," I smiled down at her.

She patted my cheeks, "Good, Now take me to the Kitchen, I'm hungry."

I gave a chuckle, "Come on, it's downstairs."

-/-

"You live in a bloody madhouse," Ma huffed, looking at the cafeteria.

I rolled my eyes, "What's wrong with it?"

"It's too fancy! Marines don't need all this frilly nonsense. Shove nutrient paste down their throats and get them into battle."

"This is why Pa did the cooking~," I huffed.

"Baa, you were just a picky eater~," she waved away my answer, "Hey Cook! what's on the menu!?"

Gardner gave us a quick look, "Hutspot, Stamppots, and two Dubbele Boterham met ham, with 2 Oliebollen for dessert with pure sugar powder." He placed the food in front of us.

Ma gave me some side eye, "Nick was doing a round-the-world menu, we're on the Netherlands~."

"Uh-huh~, I'll be the judge of that." she carried her tray to an empty booth. She gave everything a sniff. "Smells right."

"Ma, just eat your food, and stop acting like you know anything about Dutch cuisine," I huffed taking a bite from my Hutspot.

"Hey, I was raised on this stuff! I know a thing or two." she took a spoonful of her Stamppots. "Mmm, not bad~."

"Oh please, we both know you've never eaten anything this good. You live off nutrient paste and water."

"Ash? ASH!" Tali called out running over to our booth, moving me aside.

"I'm eating here~!"

"Shush! ASH! It's so good to see you... what are you wearing?" Tali asked.

Ashley just blinked at her, "Do I know you?"

Tali blinked, "It's me!" She covered her face but kept her eyes visible.

"TALI!? Your mask!? I can see your face!" Ash screamed.

"Magic~," she explained, before looking over to my mother, "Hannah' Shepard Vas Orizaba!? It's good to see you again."

"Ah~, you're that young punk my boy dragged all over the galaxy, you look good kid. You punted your father's balls to the other side of the galaxy yet?" Ma asked.

"Oh, uh, not really~." she scratched the back of her neck.

"You know each other?" I didn't know they'd met.

"Met her at your funeral. It's good to see you got rid of that helmet, I wasn't going to say anything, but it looked kinda dumb, good to see it was just a phase," she nodded, eating one of her cheese sandwiches.

Tali squinted at her, "Are you... part Krogan?" she whispered.

"What?"

"Nothing! It's good to see you again," she smiled. "Ash, are you joining The Normandy? Please say yes, John and Garrus have been outvoting me in important decisions."

"We needed that pool table," I countered.

"And the poker table and the dartboard and ice cream machine! You become a multi-millionaire and you start buying stupid things! Don't get me started on the new model ships," She hissed.

"John~," Ash sighed. "Really, we had an intervention."

"I have it under control~," I hissed.

Ash sighed, "No, you don't. You have a problem; I'm surprised I'm not swimming in ships."

"It got to the point where Nick had to enchant his toys so they could fly, a good chunk of them are in the Shuttle Bay flying around," Tali huffed.

"I thought you had control of his money?" Ashe sighed at Tali, which got me to start giggling, much to Tali's annoyance.

I smirked at Tali, "Well? Aren't you going to tell them what happened?"

"Shut up," she hissed, before coughing, "Well. You see... with the fact that I no longer need my suit... I, uhm, may have gotten a bit... inebriated~."

"She got drunk and got a tattoo," I cut to the chase.

"TALI!?" Ash was shocked as Ma laughed.

"It's a tiny one! You can barely see it!"

"It's huge~, it covers most of her back."

"SHUT UP!" She punched me in the shoulder, but I couldn't stop laughing.

"Oh, Tali~," Ash sighed, "Of all my sisters I hoped you would come out normal, but you're just like the rest of us~."

"Hey, I am normal... mostly~, by human standards, probably. You told me Abby once drop-kicked a cow. Which I learned was a huge animal with horns! Who does that!?"

"It was aggressive," Ash excused.

"Didn't Sarah once punch a kangaroo?" I asked.

"It was also aggressive."

"And you once punched Wrex," I added.

"That one's not fair, Wrex is always aggressive!"

"And was reaching for the last cupcake~," Garrus teased, sandwiching me between him and Tali.

"Garrus, is Liara and Wrex around the corner?" Ash asked.

"Wrex is too busy saving the krogan race and Liara is doing some rather... shady stuff, like spectre level shady," I explained, "She didn't even tell me."

"Aunt Jane?" Julee called out, she was carrying a book.

"I'm sorry?" Ma asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry, you look just like my aunt," Julee explained.

"I don't think I've ever had horns~," Ma teased.

Julee shook her head, "Not on my mother's side of the family," she brought up her omni-tool, showing off a picture of a woman who looked remarkably like my mother, the only difference I could tell was the small scar on her lip. The man next to her caught my attention, he looked exactly like me. They were blank-faced, almost not wanting to be next to each other. All around them were other humans looking unflinchingly at the... Painter, was this a portrait? As in someone painted the other 30 people, in what seemed like funeral clothes?

I pointed to the man, "Uh~?"

"Mmm? Oh yeah, that's my pops~," I could only blink at that, "Yeah it was a bit weird when I first met you~, I thought you were going to ground me when we first met," she laughed. Ma just looked at the picture, then at me, to the picture then to Julee.

"They don't seem to be happy?" Ma pointed out.

"Ah~, well, pop's side of the family are... Legitimate businesspeople~." of course~, "My old man was in line to inherit the family business after he came back from the War of Fall. Dad didn't want to lead, he found the business... Not to his liking. When he made his intention clear that he wasn't going to lead and marry my mother, things got... tense. There were... disagreements, yelling, and words that couldn't be taken back, I didn't really meet Aunt Jane until I was 23 on my pilgrimage, when I visited the City of Water, it was a little awkward, I kind of became the mediator between her and my dad."

"Mmm~," Ma looked at the photo, "You have a picture of your family?"

"Mmm? Oh yeah! I took a photo of last year's family reunion," she flipped to a new photo, this picture came from the Camera.

"Whoa~," Ash whistled. That was putting it lightly, where her father's picture was filled with dower and serious-looking people, Julee's family photo was filled with at least five hundred people who couldn't hold still to save their lives, and they weren't all human. There were easily over 30 different species of all shapes and sizes, young and old, the only thing they had in common were their horns and tails.

Julee laughed, "And this is just my side of the family," she zoomed, "That's me, Jakky, my older sister Rose, my older brother Jason, my mom with my baby brother James, and the one in the center is my Gran-Gran," she showed her immediate family. "If you want, I could give you the whole family list later," She flipped to a new photo, "These are the family friends and partners," this group was equally as big and diverse. There were, giants, slimes, goblins, centaurs, and dragons, I'm pretty sure one of them had bunny ears and a crown, "There is a 'J' in every city!" she laughed.

"Nick doesn't look too well?" Tali pointed, it was true, he looked exhausted.

Julee grew a little sheepish, "Uh, well, you see~."

"The J-Familia takes their Sweets very seriously~," Nick growled walking into the Kitchen with Hackett and the rest of the Marines.

Julee gave an awkward laugh, "Yeah, remember when you tried putting Nick in a box to give you chocolate for the rest of life Tali?"

"You ate chocolate?" Ash hissed, getting Tali to look at the floor.

"We kinda succeeded~," Julee laughed.

"Four days of nonstop cooking~," Nick shivered. "I had to drug them with sleeping powdered." He led Hackett to a booth for him and his soldiers.

Julee just continued to laugh. "Anyway~, Tali, here's what you should be looking forward to~!" she passed her the book, "Payday is at the end of the week, Bye~. Have fun talking with your Mom Shep~." she skipped away.

"Payday?" Ash asked. Tali didn't look at her, just stared at the book as if it told her how she was going to die. "Tali?" Tali slowly opened to the first page only to immediately slam it close.

"So you ready to admit you had a problem?" I asked.

"Shut up~," she groaned, covering her face.

"What's with her?" Ash asked.

Garrus ate some of his food, "She learned actions had consequences~," he teased.

"I hate you; I hate you both," Tali hissed.

"You can quit you know~," I pointed out.

"No, I can't, she still had that photo of hers~, if my father sees that picture... I'm pretty sure he'll have a heart attack."

"Even better!" Ma cheered. "You can't be blamed for acts of god."

"Ma~."

"I'm just saying, I met the man once, and he told her to get over your death because the fleet needed her. He's an asshole." she huffed. I looked over to Tali.

"It was at your memorial; he was already doing something in the citadel and decided to pick me up."

"I kicked him in the nuts," Ma huffed. I'm never going to get that Human-Quarian fleet~. "Still, what's so bad about your job?" she reached over and snatched Tali's book before she got to do anything.

"Wait!"

Ma didn't listen looking through the book, "These are kinda cute~. Ulysses would have loved some of these~." I didn't need to hear that.

"Uh, Tali? What exactly is your new job?" Ash asked.

"... Model~," she blushed. Ash just blinked at her, "I get paid 10,000 credits a week!" she added.

"10,000!?" Ash choked on her food.

"Nick isn't good with money~," I shrugged, "But he also understands we can't buy off the Reapers, so he might as well buy everything he can while Creds still work."

"Is that why half a dozen weapon companies are pumping out Thanix cannons like rabbits and selling them to the Alliance for cheap?"

"We're also selling them to the Turian," I shrugged, "We've come to the logical conclusion that Earth and Palaven are going to be hit hard right off the bat, so we are trying to get as many surface-to-space cannons finished and placed on as many planets as possible."

"Hackett and Anderson have been buying them in bulk, I've been playing escort for the last few days. I'm guessing the Frigates, Corvettes, and Fighters are also yours?" she asked.

"Correct~. Most of them are being bought by the Migrant Fleet and the Alliance because they have a human design."

"Do you think that will be enough?" Ma asked.

"Absolutely not, the Reapers end the Protheans, we don't have half their fleet but I'm hoping we were able to find something in the Archives on Earth or Thessia to help us turn the tables," I sighed, "It's a long shot but I don't see us winning with what we have now, Nick did promise to enhance every AA gun on Earth, and you saw what he did on Horizon~," I pointed to Ash.

"Didn't the GARDIAN melt after three shots?"

"That was only because he didn't know what he was doing, just slapping as much power as he could onto the AA gun. He thinks that now that he has a better understanding of mass-effect weaponry, he'll be able to make one that can do repeating fire. So, if you can make as many AA guns as possible on earth so he can enhance them, that would be great~."

"I'll show you the Thanix cannon after lunch," Garrus offered.

"Have you tested it?" Ma asked.

"Only on a few asteroids, shattered them into pieces~," Garrus answered. "And with the increased power thanks to the Arc reactors Nick used for the Cannon it takes less power from the ship and allows us to fire more often, but I think we can cut the time if we-" Garrus fell into his calibration frenzy. I'm just happy Ma had the same problem, not even Tali talked about the engine. I love him like a brother, but damn man~, you need to relax~.

Finishing our lunch, we showed her and Hackett the magically improved Thanix cannon, where Ma, Hackett, and Garrus talked shop for about an hour, going over every little thing from the gun barrel to the arc reactor, it felt like I was a kid again, going clothes shopping with my mom, I just sat on one of the benches in the room, I'm just happy I had an Omni-tool or I would have died of boredom.

Thankfully it came to an end, unfortunately, it became Tali's time to shine, as our next stop was the Engine room. There was a weird interaction with Zaeed where he jumped like a frightened cat when he spotted my mother, and disappeared back into his room. After another hour of Tali going over the engine room, we finally reached the Shuttle Bay.

Nick, Sky, Dagna, and Lyna were helping some of Hackett's marines place some equipment into the X-8.

"Alright Cortez, one more time~," Nick called out.

"Again!? When Hackett told me I was going to get the chance to help the Alliance and the brave men and women that saved my husband, I didn't think it would have involved so many Lists." a marine next to Nick muttered looking at his own list.

"No discutas con el Brujo! He'll turn you into a frog!" a marine who's never skipped a day at the gym called out.

"Thank you Mr. Vega~, I'll take that into consideration~," Cortez drawled.

"Robert! Your husband is going to get us eaten!" Vega cried out to the ship.

There was a laugh from the Fighter, "Ooh trust me! I've had his meat in my mouth before!"

Nick and Vega gave a chortle as Cortez groaned at his husband's crude humor. "Can we do this~?" Cortez huffed.

"Alright~, Alright~," Nick coughed, "one and a half years of rations for six people?"

"Check."

"Clothes?"

"Check."

"Portal that connects to the Everest in case of Time-space shenanigans?" Nick put a portal on the Puma X-8?

"Check."

"Golem maid to keep the ship clean?"

"Check."

"... One, husband?"

"Wait, I'm an add-on?" Robert asked.

"Check." Cortez ignored him.

"One, Blockhead marine?"

"OI~," Vega protested.

"Check."

"Quarian built VI?"

"Check."

"Toothbrush?"

"Check."

"300 FTL Comm. Buoys?"

"Check."

"One translated book on creating and fixing a hyperspace engine?"

"Check."

"Emergency equipment to build a hyperspace engine?"

"Check."

"Emergency Mini-arc reactor?"

"Check."

"Vega's weights?"

"Check!" Vega called out.

"... Common sense?"

"... Check~?"

"Close enough~. Sign here, initial here, Fingerprint here." Nick passed him a contract that Cortez signed, before passing it to Hackett who also signed it, before passing it to Nick who gave it to Telsa. "Sign this one too." He passed Cortez another contract.

"What's this one for?"

"So, I'm not blamed for any sort of time travel, dimension-hopping, or Body swapping nonsense," Nick seriously answered.

"Is that a serious possibility?" I asked.

Nick gave a shrug, "I wanna say that it's a very low chance, but it's important to have my bases covered." Cortez gave Hackett a look that he shrugged to. Cortez signed it and passed it to Hackett who also signed it, passing it to Vega and Robert, ending with Telsa. "Nice," he passed him another contract, "This one is for the power bestowal~. I am not responsible for any property damage, Women, or men, you seduce, any delusions of grandeur, or any strange superpowers I knew nothing about."

"I'm guessing they're the first to get Chi?" I asked.

"Yep, Hackett and Anderson gave the go-ahead and I had EDI check their records. They're clean." Nick answered. Cortez signed the contract. "Good, this will feel a little weird~."

"Weird? Weird ho-" Nick didn't let Cortez finish as he placed his hand on his head and lit him up like a star.

"SON OF A BITCH!" and I was standing not 5 steps away~. It took me a moment but I was able to regain my sight. "STOP DOING THAT!"

"I'm going to kill that little shit~," Ma growled rubbing her eyes.

"Whoa~," a voice whispered. Turning I found Cortez, half naked, having hulked out of his uniform. Standing at about 6'1, 5 inches taller than before, his muscles were on full display for the galaxy to see, with his pants seconds away from calling it quits. "Okay... is that my voice?" it was slightly deeper.

"Yes-yes~, you're bigger and have a sexier voice, blah blah blah~," Nick drawled clearly having done this a few times, "Your complimentary bathrobe~," he passed Cortez a large white bathrobe with his name stitched in what looked to be gold letters, I guess his name was Steve Cortez. Good thing too cuz his pants called it a day, as tearing of seems was heard. "Oof, I feel bad for your husband, impale the poor man why don't you." Nick teased much to Cortez's embarrassment, as he quickly covered himself.

"A little warning would be nice~," Cortez hissed.

Nick shook his head, "Where's the fun in that~. Robert? James? Who's next? Come on, guys we don't have all day~." I was prepared this time looking away from the blinding lights. Much like Cortez, Vega and Robert looked ready to fight some apocalyptic-level threats.

"Wait," Vega called out, "None of my clothes is going to fit!"

Nick summoned a table with an open sign on the front with pictures of clothes, "Step right up! Free pair of socks with your first purchase!"

"Hijo de-!? You're charging us for new clothes!?"

"Like I said, I'm not responsible for any damages you cause~."

"I call shenanigans!" Vega huffed.

"Relax, Lieutenant, the Alliance will foot the bill," Hackett called out.

"Dagna, gouge these suckers for all they have~," Nick ordered.

Dagna didn't hesitate, jumping behind the counter. "Step right up gentlemen! I have Magic underwear with your name on it! One thousand credits!" ruthless~.

"A bit cutthroat~," Hackett muttered.

"Baa~, let that be some copper pincher's problem~," Nick huffed, before pulling out another contract and passing it to Hackett.

"What's this for?" He looked over the contract.

"It's for the bribe I'm about to give you. Making sure the X-8 doesn't 'accidentally' end up in a military black site," Nick answered. I don't think you need a contract for bribes, in fact, Contracts work against bribes.

"You can trust m-" Hackett was interrupted by my Ma pushing him out of the way.

"Ignore him~, what ya got, wizard boy~."

Nick smirked summoning a suitcase, "Let's start with~," he popped the case revealing an armor chassis, "One of my custom magical armors, it can fit anyone, gives the user everything on this list," he passed my mother the list, "It's powered by a mini-arc reactor."

"That's on the chest piece~," Ma huffed. Picking up the Armor only for it to mold onto her body, "WHA!?" the armor form, completely covering her, helmet and all.

"Hannah? You, okay?" Hackett asked.

"Yeah~," she looked around the room, "it has a little tutorial. Mmm." she suddenly flew a foot in the air, "Nice~."

"Yes-yes, very nice~," Nick pulled her to the ground and removed the armor.

"Hey! I was using that!"

"It's not yours~," Nick drawled. "Be happy I'm not taking away that Gauss rifle~, clearly John can't say no to his mom. That mama's boy."

"I'm standing right here~."

"I know," Nick pulled out another suitcase, smaller this time, and he popped it open, revealing an ingot. "One Ingot of Badassium, the stuff I use to power my arc reactor, and the blueprints to build your own arc reactor." he summoned one last case, "And lastly, one Redwood golem, and a book on magic. This will make a single Wizard, the Golem will match with the first person who touches it," Nick warned. Locking up the cases. "So... do we have a bribe?" Hackett gave Nick a long look before nodding and signing the contract. Nick gave him a rock with a rune, "That's the key to the lock."

Hackett nodded to his Soldiers who quickly picked up the suitcases, "Send me the bill for the clothes. Steve, James, Robert!" Hackett called out getting the men to stand at attention. "Finish up here and fly the X-8 to the Everest."

"Sir!" they saluted.

I led Hackett and Ma back to the airlock.

"Shepard, I hope to see you out of Cerberus's clutches soon, and if anything happens know we'll be ready for your return," Hackett saluted, walking across the space bridge with his soldiers.

Ma pinched my cheeks, "Don't listen to anything Cerberus says, love you and take care."

"Love you too Ma." I watched her follow Hackett.

Ash followed her, but gave me one last look, "Don't do anything stupid~."

"You know me~," I joked.

"That's why I'm ordering you, stay safe, Skipper." the door closed behind her.

"You were supposed to kiss her," EDI pointed out.

"... Damnit~," I sighed, she was right.

"Commander!" Kelly came rushing over, "The Illusive man is calling!"

Yeah~, that's about right~."

-/-

Nick POV

"So... let me get this right. A turian patrol knocked out a collector ship, but was so heavily damaged they can't flight away and are send a distress signal?" I asked.

"Correct," Shepard answered as the team was getting ready. Shepard, Thane, Ava, Samara, Sky, Grunt, Mordin, Tali, Kasumi, and I were on the go team.

"In Council space?" I asked.

"Near the Attican and Terminus border."

"And the Turians aren't swarming the area because~?"

"Tim is blocking the signal."

"Mmm, okay~, what are we looking for? Travel logs? IFF? Weapons? Maybe just blow it up?" I asked.

"We were hoping to extract as much data as we could before testing the New Thanix cannon," Shepard pointed out clipping the M-920 Cain to his back.

"What about the one on Horizon? Did that one not have any data we could use?"

"It was scrubbed, we don't know if it was because it had a dead switch or if it was just too damaged, we're not sure about the ship we are going to, but TIM only said it was running cold. He believed the Turian patrol may have knocked out its thrusters and are waiting for pick up or are repairing the damage as we speak," Shepard answered.

"Are we hacking it?" I asked, "Can we hack Reaper tech? I thought Reapers were super advanced, wouldn't they have Trojan horses? False data that could mess with the Normandy? I'm not going to lie Shep~, this feels like a trap," I warned.

"... I agree, when The Illusive Man told me about the ship my stomach was doing flips, it's more than likely a trap, but the data is worth the risk. I hate the fact that he's lying about it though, what does he gain from risking our lives? I already told EDI to keep her firewalls ready and to have multiple redundancies," he sighed.

"Commander ETA 10 minutes," Joker called out over the comms.

"Well, let's do this~," I sighed grabbing my Gauss rifle, and walked out of the Armory with Shepard to view the Collector ship as we left FTL.

The Collector Ship was huge~, it dwarfed The Normandy. It was dead in the water illuminated by the distant star in the system, all around it were shattered Turian ships, it looked like a ship graveyard.

"Heads up," Joker warned, "Geth fighter by the entrance."

Geth fighter? What the hell? Looking out the window I found the fighter by the tiny hole the collector ship gained from fighting the Turian portal. "Shep, is that tiny hole all the turian patrol did? This is a trap. I mean, holy shit man, they didn't even make it believable! Also, a single Geth fighter? What, is it going to tow it? Nah, something is going on, we just don't have the entire picture.

"Joker, keep the guns hot, if they try and run, rip their engines to pieces," Shepard ordered.

"I hear you loud and clear, I'll make them Swiss."

Shepard and I got to the Shuttle Bay where everyone else who was going with us was already in the Shuttle.

New Quest: For every cockroach you see there are a hundred you don't.

Infiltrate the collector ship, collect the data to their base of operations, kill anything that gets in your way, and get out.

Reward: 20,000 XP, 30,000 credits, 1 golden loot box

Bonus Quest: for we are many.

There is a Geth Fighter parked at the collector ship, find out why it is here.

Reward: 10,000 XP, 20,000 credits, 1 gacha token, new crew member

Legion is on the collector ship, why?

The flyover was quiet and tense knowing we were going into a trap, there was a bit of turbulence as we passed through the Collector ship's Mass effect field.

"Tali, I thought a ship could only have a mass effect field if the Eezo engine was running?" I asked.

"That's correct, but that doesn't mean they have FTL capabilities. Much like the Puma x-8's Eezo core, not enough to go into FTL but enough to create a shield and lighten the ship. Still, something must be keeping the ship running," she hummed.

"Keep your eyes peeled," Shepard warned. "And keep an eye out for Geth, they might be working with the collectors."

The doors opened to a space monster's condo. reality beats fiction into the ground, again, sure the game did an honorable attempt at recreating space horror, but holy shit dude, it was nothing like this~.

The emergency lights were a dirty yellow that somehow made the shadows pitch black and anything illuminated a putrid honey color. There was a leak somewhere because everything had a layer of moisture as well as a thin fog that came up to our ankles, with dozens of empty pods lining the walls, floors, and ceiling, and of course, the quiet was disconcerting, a ship this size had to have thousands of people working it, but I didn't hear anything. I was just happy that I placed a dark vision rune on my helmet.

Shepard, Sky, Grunt, and I took the lead, with Thane, Ava, and Kasumi moving to flank, where Tali, Samara, and Mordin took the rear. There was only one route through the hole we entered through, well that was entirely true there were holes that the Collector could fly through to reach other parts of the ships, but we weren't sure where they might lead or what might be on the other side, so we stuck to the ground for now.

It didn't take long for us to find a room with dozens of corpses just dumped in a pile on the ground. They were all naked, some with their skin peeled off, some without limbs, from the elderly to children, it made me sick just looking at it.

"Why would they do this?" Kasumi gagged.

"Experiments, subjects, looking for something, not enough data, we need to kill collectors," Mordin answered.

"Something we agree on," Grunt huffed. "To kill the young and weak is a sign of beasts and vermin. Killing them will bring us honor."

"Tali? Do the Geth and Collectors hate each other?" I asked.

"I... don't know, why?"

I nodded to the corpse of a Collector, a single hole through its head. Thane gave it a quick look, "Single shot, powerful, ripped through its shields, more than likely a sniper," he looked around the room, pointing to a tiny hole in the wall, "Anti-martial rifle, no normal person can fire something like that."

"But can a Geth?" I asked.

Thane took a moment to think about it, "Yes," he answered. "I don't know why the Geth is killing Collectors, but I could only conclude that a machine could fire this kind of weapon, any normal person would have their arm shattered by the recoil alone."

"Any idea how long this guy has been dead?" I asked.

"Blood's still wet," Sky pointed out, before shoving the collector's body, "Body's not stiff."

"Why is that important?" Tali asked.

"Because I didn't hear anything," I answered, "That bullet couldn't have been silent, and yet there aren't Collectors swarming the place or gunfire, either every collector in this ship is dead or the Geth that came in that fighter had to be Spectre-level badasses that have mowed down any Collector resistance that came their way."

"But there aren't any other collectors," Ava pointed out.

"But why? Is the Geth leading them on a goose chase?" I muttered.

"That doesn't matter right now," Shepard brought us back to the present, "we need to get to a data terminal and get the hell out of here."

Nodding we continued our silent march deeper into the ship. We would run into dead collectors and even some husks, much to Tali's and Shepard's confusion, husks are Reaper creations, and for a Geth to kill them was unheard of. Clearly, something was up. Finally getting to the room with the Collector being tested on, Mordin quickly got to work looking over the data the collectors were working on.

"Mordin can you read any of that data?" I asked, "I seriously doubt the Reapers are using a language we can understand."

"Thought that as well, but translators work fine," Mordin hummed. "They were running tests, comparing themselves to other species, unknown why, possibly make human collectors, Mmm."

"Are they dying out or something?" I asked.

"They can't make more of themselves," EDI answered through the comms, "I ran their DNA through every database I could find, and only one species came up, the Protheans."

"Protheans?" Shepard whispered.

"So, the Collectors are just Prothean husks?" I asked.

"No," Mordin answered, "much more than a Husk, more tech, they can use tools. Organic mechs."

"Why would they do this? And why only the Protheans?" Ava asked.

"It's not only the Protheans, the Keepers in the citadel are also creations of the Reapers," Tali pointed out.

"Are they even alive?" I asked.

"No," Shepard answered, his eyes giving out a light golden glow, "Not anymore, the Reapers gutted them and stuffed them with tech."

"Then what can they do that Reapers couldn't? What is their purpose?... Shepard, what are Reapers made of?" I asked.

"... I'm not sure, why?"

"... because I stock up on materials when I craft things."

.

.

.

"You think they are using humans... to make Reapers?" Shepard asked.

"'We are each a nation', that's what Sovereign said, right? What if it meant it more literally. Can tech like that exist? My friend Shayle was once a dwarf before she was made into a War forged, what if Reapers are doing the same thing to humans? How many humans would it take to make a monster like a Reaper? Millions? Billions? Entire colonies worth?"

.

.

.

"We... need to keep moving," Shepard muttered, the truth was a scary thing to think about. We passed a cache of weapons lying on the floor which I scooped up, as well as some stuff Mordin considered important, waste not, want not.

It didn't take long for us to escape the claustrophobic tunnels and come out to the interior of the ship, unlike the game everything was still rather dark, we couldn't even see the other end of the room, but we could see tiny lights throughout the ship, it almost looked like the night sky, with hundreds of stars.

"Heads up," Ava called out pointing to a lone Geth unit, with a large hole in its chest, working on a console of some kind.

"Stop!" I hissed, casting Hold Person on the group freezing them in place.

"Nick, what the hell are you doing!" hissed Shepard, his gun pointed at the Geth's head.

"We can't kill it, if it's already downloading the Data and we kill it, the data might be deleted. I quickly released the group. Holy shit, holding one person is a simple task, but 9 people was pushing it, especially Grunt and Sky.

"So, what do we do?" Thane asked, "If we capture it, it might delete the data."

"And hacking it might not get us what we want," Tali warned.

"Then we do it the old-fashioned way~," I smirked.

"The old-fashioned way?" they asked.

-/-

Advanced Geth Mobile Platform POV

Geth 374: this is a lot of data

Geth 283: none of this is organized

Geth 1009: this is what the Heretics wanted?

Geth 672: fools~, Geth tech all the way~

Geth 532: Geth 234 reported a ship outside

Geth 372: scavenger or reinforcements?

Geth 532: unknown, tried probing the ship but we were rebuffed

Geth 849: we should get out of here; mortals would find this place creepy

Geth 746: HAHA what a baby

Geth 849: Shut up! It's too dark, we could be ambushed at any moment

Geth 0002: calm down~, who's crazy enough to come here?

"WHY HELLO THERE~!" a human called out not a foot away from us.

Geth 849: AAAAAHHHHH! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!

Geth 0001: Calm down you idiot! He's talking!

"Names Nick Walters, explorer, dungeon crawler, Man of mysteries, pleasure to meet you~. I would shake your hand, but I can see you're busy," Walters-explorer laughed.

Geth 894: what do we do!?

Geth 722: follow my lead

"What do you want meat bag?"

Walters-Explorer just blinked at us.

Geth 0005: WHAT WAS THAT!?

Geth 722: I'm establishing dominance

Geth 0005: YOU'RE GOING TO GET US ALL KILLED!

Walters-explorer nodded. "Mmm, you have established your dominance with great skill,"

Geth 0005: DAMN IT! DON'T AGREE WITH THIS IDIOT!

"I wish to find a way to defeat the Reapers and you're kinda using the only console around," he nodded.

"You oppose the old machine?" we asked.

He nodded, "Me and my friends here," he pointed to our left, turning we found Shepard-Commander looking right at us with an unimpressed body pose.

Geth 0003: he does not look happy~

Geth 722: I got this

"What are you looking at?" we huffed. We couldn't see his face, but his body language went from annoyed to murderous.

Geth 0005: Why do we keep letting you talk?

Walters-explorer started laughing so hard he dropped to his knees. "OH! I like this guy~. Yo my man, what's your name, what do I call you?"

"Geth," we answered.

"Right~, sorry. How many Geth am I talking to right now?" he asked.

"1,183."

Walters-explorer gave a whistle, "Damn, that's a lot of sassy Geth, can we make you a bit more unique?"

"We are Geth," we answered.

"EDI give your AI brother a name~," he teased.

"My name is Legion, for we are many," a synthesized voice came out of his speakers.

Geth 999: oh... that's new

Geth 0049: Shepard-commander is willingly working with AI? This is a good thing

"Christian gospel, New Testament, Mark 5:9. This is an acceptable metaphor. We are Legion, a conduit for the Geth consensus," we stated.

"Cool, Legion, we gotta to bounce, so download that data, and let's get out of here," Walters-Explorer ordered.

Geth 1102: Eh? Are we just part of Shepard-commander's team now? That was a bit sudden.

"HOLD ON!" a creator yelled, if our information is correct, she is Creator-Zorah. "We can't just let a Geth join the crew!"

"Why not? You let a dragon join the crew, and she's eaten humans before," Walters-Explorer pointed out.

Geth 222: Dragon?

Geth 312: they are mythical creatures of earth

"Humans taste gross~," The large horned female added.

"First of all, I'm happy to hear that, the gross part, not the fact that you've eaten human," Shepard-commander spoke up, "Second, that's a Geth, they killed thousands of humans, billions if you add the Quarians."

"Yes, and?" Walters-explorer asked. "Legion... how many Quarians remain on Rannoch?"

We just stared at him... "No data available," we answered.

"The answer should be zero, it's not hard to answer that, but you're not telling us something."

"No data available."

"How many Quarian Children did the migrant fleet leave behind?"

"No data available."

"Are you a Shepard fanboy?" he smirked.

"... what?" we asked.

He tapped our shoulder, "You're wearing his armor."

"... there was a hole."

Watler-explorer laughed, "Yeah, I can see that~, you want me to fix that?" he offered.

"... we don't have the time."

He reached out and touched our chassis.

Geth 439: WARNING! Exotic energies Detected!

Geth 111: what's happening!?

Geth 012: Armor reforming!

Geth 057: Armor reformed!

Looking down at our once gaping hole, we found Shepard-commander's armor fully restored covering the structural weakness.

"I'm sorry did you say that was my armor?" Shepard-commander asked.

"... No Data available."

"... are you making fun of me," he hissed.

"Shepard~, Shepard~, calm down," Walters-explorer stepped between us, "At the moment we all are on the same team, if you don't believe me ask your Boss."

Shepard-commander gave a growl, reaching down and grabbing his pistol.

Geth 439: Warning! Exotic energies detected!

Geth 473: Collector data nearly filtered

Shepard-commander gave a tsked. "That's annoying~."

"John?" Creator Zorah spoke up.

"Nick's right, I don't know what this thing is, but the Maker is telling me that we can trust Legion."

"Data nearly downloaded, as a sign of cooperation we are willing to hand over Data," we offered.

"See! Friendship!" Walters-Explorer cheered.

"I don't like it~," Creator Zorah growled.

Walters-explorer shook his head, "Tali~, Tali~, Tali~, you're not looking at the big picture here~, think about it. Legion could be your ticket to Rannoch."

Creator Zorah squinted her eyes at him, "What are you talking about?"

"Legion is part of the Geth consensus, he is part of the whole, if he tells his people that the Quarians wish for peace, this war you guys have been having come to an end, and you get to go back to Rannoch. Shepard you should be jumping on this! If the Quarians and the Geth make peace, can you imagine the Fleet their combined forces would have!? This is it John! Mordin what would happen if the council learned the Geth and Quarians make peace?"

"... Fear, the Council will begin making more ships, maybe even temporarily remove the treaty of Farixen."

"Meaning Dreadnoughts! Weapons! Troops! So when the Reapers attack-"

"-We'll be more prepared," Shepard-commander's eyes were wide.

"Peace, will make the Galaxy ready for war~," Walters-explorer smirked.

"You can't be serious!?" Creator Zorah hissed, "Do you really think my people will agree to that!?"

"Why not? The council turned their back on you, the Migrant fleet can't fly around in space forever, some of your fleets have been flying around in space for over 300 years! I'm surprised they haven't broken down by now," Walters-explorer pointed out.

"You're forgetting the fact that the Geth might not want peace," Creator Zorah hissed.

"We want peace," We answered.

"Shut up! This doesn't involve you!" she hissed.

"We feel pretty involved."

"Shut it! You don't even know what feelings are!"

"Tali~, Don't make me Knight him! I will! He'll get diplomatic immunity~," Walters-explorer warned.

"You don't have the quad," she hissed.

"Are you testing me Zorah? You think because Julee likes you and your hips can kill a man, that I won't do it? I will force your people to swallow their pride, you think I like that the Quarian people are forced to live on ships? You think I'm happy to see beautiful women having to hide behind a mask!? NO! If the Quarian people want to thrive they need to make peace."

"GUYS! Focus," Shepard commander hissed, "Legion, are you almost done with the download?"

Geth 983: oh, I guess we are part of his team

Geth 299: WARNING! Collector retaliation!

Geth 722: well... this is bad~

-/-

Shepard POV

"Shepard-Commander, Collector forces are counter hacking, it's a trap, enemy forces are convening on this location!" Legion warned, typing away on the console.

"Yeah, this would be the best time," I muttered. "EDI can you help Legion speed up the download?"

"I can commander, but you need to access the console."

"Move over a bit," I ordered to Legion, using my omni-tool to give EDI access. Suddenly the ship lit up showing us what the inside of the ship looked like. "Holy shit." There were millions of rooms just like the one we came from with thousands of their own pods.

"They can kidnap every Human in the Terminus and still have room," Thane muttered.

"They're going to move to the Attican traverse, then Earth," Tali warned.

"Not if we stop them," I growled before the platform beneath us began to rise. "Legion!?"

"Collectors trying to move us deeper into the ship, attempting to redirect," He answered. "Warning! Collectors attempting to intervene, violence may be necessary! Warning! Can't move from console!"

"I got ya buddy!" Nick bent the earth the ship was made of into a makeshift wall. "The earth here is strange! It has heavy amounts of metal, it's like they found an asteroid and made a ship around it."

"Enemies!" Samara called out as another platform came up to greet us.

"Assuming direct control!" oh great this guy again~. "I am the Harbinger of your perfec-!" he was cut off by a fireball exploding in his face setting him on fire.

"No monologues!" Grunt roared, unleashing another fireball at another collector.

"That's my magic boy!" Nick cheered. Firebending the flames that cooked 'harbinger' and using it to engulf another collector. "Scion!" he warned pointing to another platform flying toward us.

"Smite!" I called out shooting it in the chest before its platform could lock on ours, causing a huge explosion causing their platform to fall to the floor beneath.

"Impressive Shepard," Samara complimented.

"Shepard!?" Joker called over the comms, "The collector ship is coming online! should I blast it!?"

"Legion! EDI! How's that Data coming!?"

"The collectors have caught on to what we were doing and have begun purging their system," EDI answered.

"Take what you can get! Joker! Shut them down! They don't leave!"

"Copy! I suggest you hold on to your butts and get to the shuttle!" Joker ordered.

"Copy! Legion, EDI, we're leaving!" I ordered "SKY! NICK! We need an opening!

"I got ya, but you're going to need to after me for a bit!" he took a deep breath, "You know I've never used this spell~, so forgive me if I'm a little shotty." I spotted a tiny cloud forming off in the distance before it exploded into a thunderstorm, the clouds as dark as night and large blots of lighting raining down all around the ship, one of the platforms coming to block us was struck and exploded.

"Get us down!" I ordered as a bolt of lightning bolt flew overhead. Our platform finally gave a shutter as it began to lower. "About time~." Just as we began lowering into a tunnel, I got to see a beam cut through the collector ship dissipating the storm cloud and causing sudden decompression. Thank the Maker for my Shields. The ship was plunged back into darkness as the ship lost power, but the platform must have had some sort of battery as it kept gently lowering through the tunnel. "Legion! Where are we?"

Legion's omni-tool lit up showing us a 3-D map of the area, "there is no direct exit to the shuttle EDI informed us of, we need to exit through 4 rooms," the map lit up the path. "Warning! Collector forces will block our escape."

"Shepard!" Joker called out, "The ship split apart and is making a break for it!"

"Stop them, we don't know how many humans they have, and call Hackett for backup," I ordered.

"Copy. Come to Daddy, you damn roaches!"

"Shepard, after Legion discovered the trap, I went over the distress signal the Turian patrol sent, it's coming from the collector ship, furthermore the signal is unusual," EDI called over the comms.

"Unusual how?" I asked.

"Turian emergency channels have secondary encryptions. It is present but corrupted in the Message. It is not possible that the illusive man would believe the distress signal was genuine," she stated.

"You seem positive."

"I found the anomaly in Cerberus detection protocols. He wrote the damn thing," she huffed.

"Yeah, that's about right~, I knew that bastard was sending us into collector hands, but why would he just say it!? It doesn't make any damn sense, is he just trying to get us killed?" I hissed.

"Shepard, we can rip the Illusive man a new asshole after we get out of here," Nick called out getting to his feet, "We have bigger fish to fry."

He was right, the platform was slowing down, as my helmet IFF lit up giving me some glowing targets, it was time to work out some annoyance. My shoulder cannons came to life mowing down any Collector that came my way with Grunt's shotgun and Sky's Rotary cannon and magic. Legion was the VIP so he stuck with Nick as we rushed through the rooms, Nick would create cover out of the earth that the Collectors used as walls and floors.

Our march back to the shuttle was a slog, every collector that didn't get blown out into space was trying to kill us. I'm just happy Legion and EDI locked down every door that didn't lead to the shuttle before the Ship went dark. The annoying part was that every room we needed to pass through was chalked full of enemies.

And to make things worse... the shuttle was destroyed. Because of course it was, what did I think was going to happen when we left the shuttle undefended?

"Legion, tell me you have a way out of here~," I drawled.

Legion's eye flaps danced around his face, "Yes," was all he said before the Geth fighter we saw before came flying back to the entrance. "There will not be enough space."

"NICK!" I ordered, shooting back where we came from, as dozens of collectors rushed toward us.

"On it!" he ran to the fighter, not wasting a moment he added runes that expanded the space to fit a small truck, "We are leaving people! MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT!"

"Backward retreat!" Maker damn it I hated this strategy! First comes the rear with Tali, Samara, and Mordin, followed by the flack with Thane, Ava, and Kasumi, and finally the front with Grunt, Sky, and myself. Nick and Legion were first on the Fighter.

"Legion, get us the hell out of here!" I ordered.

"Acknowledged." the fighter's doors shut and took off, leaving us breathing hard.

"he he he eheheheheheehhHAHAHASHAH!" Nick laughed, "WE MADE IT!"

We looked at him like he had lost his mind, before Kasumi began giggling, followed by Sky, Tali, and Mordin, everyone was laughing in some way.

Sweet Maker that was a little closer than I would have liked.

Legion looked back at us, "organics are weird."

-/-

A/N: and the team is complete! I thought it would be better if we met Legion during the Collector ship, that way we could have more time getting to know him. Of all the teammates you get Legion is the most wasted, dude's funny, and always has something to say. I also gave him a bit more personally, I mean the Geth surf the web, I don't think most people leave unscathed from that.

I also didn't like how Bioware just glossed over the Morning War, there were lots of Quarians that sided with the Geth, are you saying the Geth killed them too? That they killed the Children? It would be a lot more interesting if the Geth kept some Quarians alive and kept them safe on Rannoch. Guardians that thought the Galaxy would kill their creators; I could only imagine how the Migrant Fleet would have reacted.

I also based Hannah from the Netherlands because that's where Shepard's character model was from.

There was also someone who said I was copying this Fic, incorrect, I created this Fic myself and I placed it on Fanfic and AO3, if you see it anywhere else, they stole it.

Like always, I apologize for any typos and grammar mistakes.

Comment if you're feeling up to it.

I also make some art of my fic on DeviantArt link in my bio.