Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe
Title: It'll get you up and going out of bed
Summary: A drabble an episode keeps the writer engaged. One peek into Steven's life per episode; Future edition!
...
LITTLE HOMESCHOOL
Jasper leaned against a tree as Steven left her, sore and thoroughly spent. She chuckled and ran her fingers through her hair.
It was there. For a brief, beautiful second, her Diamond was there. In his eyes. In his fighting. He was powerful, deep down, and she felt like she'd broken the lock on that 'deep down'.
She couldn't get her hopes up. Not yet. But, stars... it was worth it. That brief, wonderful moment was worth every bruise.
GUIDANCE
Steven fell into bed that night, wondering why he felt so empty.
The empty was getting stronger and stronger lately. Helping had- more or less- kept it down and away. Hadn't he done that? Hadn't he helped? He slowly clenched his fingers, feeling the texture of skin under his knuckles. Today had been busy, helping Amethyst and then un-helping. It'd been a lot of work, but work made him happy.
Or, well... it kept the empty away. But not today. Not tonight.
He stared at his wall and tried to remember what feeling something was like.
ROSE BUDS
Hippie Rose dove back into the pool they'd made, paddling to the surface. Her hair, naturally slick and thin, made her look almost ethereal as it billowed outwards. "Man, I missed this."
"It's nice," agrees the shy Rose, dipping her boots in. She's never been a big swimmer.
The fanboy Rose belly flopped below, coming up with a giggle. "It was so nice of Steven to invite us over. It got sad at the end, but... I think he's trying really hard."
Hippie Rose plopped her forearms across Rose's lap. "Yeah, he's chill." She turned her face up to their compatriot. "What do you think, Rose Quartz?"
It occurred to her that no one else had to define their gemstone so much, and they certainly didn't have to state as much. But they did. "I think..." She looks up at the ceiling as she remembered him chewing on his blanket. He'd definitely been trying, but... "I think he's very sad."
VOLLEYBALL
They walk to the warp without letting go of the others' hand. Volleyball relishes in the solidness of another form helping her traverse the sand, which is a new feeling.
She'd realized quickly that Pearl was so, so strong. The way she strutted through the halls of the Reef spoke of reassurance Volleyball simply didn't have. The way she'd tried to warmly greet her despite the situation. And now, through Mega Pearl's eyes, she'd seen a lifetime of war, of heartbreak, and of a little boy to raise. It's truly amazing.
"I know things got a little off the rails," Pearl says as she crests the steps onto the pad. "But I hope you found what you were looking for."
Volleyball smiles. The other thing she'd learned in Mega Pearl was that Pearl saw her as strong, too. "I think I did."
BLUEBIRD
Somehow, it's more comforting having someone hate him than no one.
Steven wondered if perhaps he had a few more neurosis than he'd like to admit as he comforted his weeping father. Hair floated through the ocean as Steven thought to the cockroach currently plotting somewhere in space.
It's familiar, having enemies. It's weird having so many friends. Bluebird had, quite unintentionally, helped Steven in ways the fusion would absolutely loathe. But that was okay. Enemies were just friends who needed to stab him first.
A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE
Steven laid on the grass a few moments before popping up on-screen, a small corner of which showed him flat on the ground. "This is a good example of what I like to call 'Whoops, I did it again'."
The screen faded out to show a list of symptoms. Steven returned, pointing each and every one out. "Dry mouth, dry eyes, worsening anxiety. These are all signs of a bad trip on the human weed. A lot of Gems have to come to me with such symptoms, and I'm here to remind you that weed can be good- in specific cases."
A symbol of cannabis covered the screen. "I know, I know. Weed sounds like so much fun, and we could all use a break from our war-destroyed minds and bodies. But we need to be careful where we get it and what kind we get. The wrong weed can turn a fun time into a sad time." Amethyst's face appeared, winking. "Make sure to ask our local seller for a specific kind of high. She can give you great perks. Like this!"
Someone off-screen (but suspiciously purple) handed Steven a doobie, which he took a quick hit of. "This'll bring my body back from its self-destructive meltdown. It's called cookies n cream, and it doesn't taste too bad. Make sure to follow all the steps listed to have a fun and enjoyable ride. Have a safe trip, everybody!"
The camera finally cut off and Steven took a longer, more thorough hit. "You were right, Amethyst. This'll make a great addition to the PSA."
SNOW DAY
The routine helped a lot. Steven needed that, to have something to do, to ignore the hollowness in his chest. It gave him purpose. It gave him direction. It got him out of bed in the morning.
And the Gems- they were breaking that routine. In new, weird ways he'd never seen before. Things he would've loved as a child, laid in front of him like delicate candies of love. He didn't know what to make of it. He'd yearned for that attention, once. But now...
Routine. He needed the routine. He needed it.
Maybe, he decided, sipping a cup of cocoa, playing could be part of it too. Sometimes. But only sometimes.
WHY SO BLUE?
Lapis hadn't missed her kind. Lapis's aren't designed for it, really- they're designed to be clustered away on planets alone or in pairs and to keep going and going until the job is done. Having the power she'd had, she hadn't needed the secondary.
Lapis has spent so much of her life like that. Working diligently, flitting across the galaxy. Some Gems were made to in groups- Quartzes are notorious pack animals- but she'd thought she wasn't one of them. Coming to Earth had been mainly a respite- a few dots and dashes and a nice land to recover. She hadn't expected to have Peridot and Steven and Little Homeworld. She hadn't expected to want those things. That she didn't want to be alone.
As she interlaced fingers with her new counterpart, Lapis promised herself she'd help this one find new friends. No Lazuli should have to be alone.
LITTLE GRADUATION
"Should we be, like, concerned?" Shep asks on the way back to her mom's place, squeezing Sadie's hand. "Steven seemed pretty upset."
"He's always been a bit clingy," admits Sadie. Though none of them had said as much, everyone going to the party had expected some level of shenanigans to go on. Just not... trapped in a dome and explaining to Steven that not all relationships work out type of shenanigans. More tears, less almost dying. "He doesn't have a lot of friends besides us and his moms."
"But the pink thing? He couldn't control it at all."
"It's a new power. Steven gets those a lot." She laughed and brushed their shoulder. "He used to fly into ceilings when he first got his floating."
Shep's face was pinched with something unspoken, as if they had seen beyond Steven's usual mischief. Maybe they had. Maybe Sadie was just getting predictable. "I'm worried about him, babe. He seemed really sad."
"Yeah," she said, soft. "He's had a sad life."
PRICKLY PAIR
The Watermelon Stevens don't quite know what to make of their new friend when they come up on land, but they are nothing if not welcoming. A half-grown child of a warrior and a father picks the flowers from their back and weaves them a prickly crown, setting it on top of their head.
"The Gems don't need me," Cactus Steven whined.
Watermelon Steven grabbed some flowers from her garden to give to her son, letting him weave more crowns for more heads. The cactus settled a bit at the attention, as if letting go of a thousand burdens.
"Why do I need to be needed?" they wondered, thinking of a fleshy boy millions of miles away. "Why'd me need to be needed?"
IN DREAMS
Steven's been the strong one as long as she's known him. He cries, he cries a lot, but he's always put himself back together again. Tonight was the outlier, which means tonight was strange. Which means Peridot did this to him, somehow. She broke him down in ways that she hadn't realized Steven could break, and those cracks held together long enough to warn her. What a kindness. What a tragedy.
Peridot holds his hand tight and fast, afraid he'll vanish.
BISMUTH CASUAL
Connie doesn't tell him that she rarely sleeps. She doesn't say that she's having a harder and harder time keeping herself orientated, or that she has nightmares of a pulsing pink stone. Because that would be putting more on him, and Steven's been through enough. She cracks a window and sings, because she has a good singing voice, and she thinks it'll be enough to keep them both stable.
They're drowning. Steven might not know it, but Connie does. And every time they kick to the surface- every time they might see a light at the end of the tunnel- something shoves them right back under. The waves are cold when they cause shock, but they've become lukewarm. She can't die this way. She won't. Steven needs her. Steven needs a knight.
She holds Steven's hand as Bismuth spins Pearl in a fun little dance, because she's not the main character, and this is their happy ending.
TOGETHER FOREVER
Steven shovels mouthfuls of cake to avoid getting angry. Garnet's always done things like this, and he's always had to be the better person for it. Because she doesn't understand- because she thinks she's being helpful- because she's his mom and he loves her.
But love won't stop the stairs from bending under his weight as the world flashes a bright pink hue. It won't stop the tears rolling down his cheeks as he fights off frustration. And it can't stop him from being angry.
"You learned an important lesson," she tells him before leaving.
Just this once, he wished it'd be a lesson for her, too.
GROWING PAINS
Dr. Maheswaran gives him a list of terms to look up in his spare time. Steven squints against his phone in the darkness as he tries to decipher them, Greg snoring just downstairs.
It feels like a checklist. It feels like he's been picked down to his bare essentials. And maybe he should be embarrassed, or hurt, but all he can think is thank stars, it's not just me. Thank the stars, I'm not the outlier here. He scrolls through the list and breezes through the definitions. That Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder thing sounds pretty accurate. He's gotten the flashbacks and disassociation before. He realizes the numbness is depression and it feels like something, even if he can't quite muddle through what.
He crumples the list and throws it in the garbage. It's good to know, but he's not going to let the Gems see it. They're busy. They work too hard. They might feel like it's their fault.
(Maybe it is.)
MR. UNIVERSE
"They weren't good people, bud," Greg says as they sit in the van to be towed home. "They... hit me. A lot."
"So what?" Steven asks earnestly, remembering a lifetime of violence. Garnet and Amethyst duking it out in public. Pearl and Amethyst fighting in the Kindergarten. All the times the Gems had spent screaming at one another, grabbing viciously at arms or shoulders, yanking them back for more. Steven had been involved in a few in his day. "All families hit each other."
He whirled around in his seat so fast Steven was surprised his back didn't break. "They what?"
Steven flinched back, suddenly feeling like he'd said something wrong.
Greg slowly ran a hand through his locks. He was still getting used to the short length, sliding past the edges and down his neck. He looked honestly worried. "Steven, has Connie... said something to you?"
"What? No. Stop asking weird questions, dad."
Steven stared out the window while Greg stared directly ahead, trying to determine who in his son's life was being abused.
FRAGMENTS
For a second, he blacks out. In that second he is towering above a pink little boy that stared up at him blankly.
"You are in mental meltdown," the little boy says.
"What do you mean?" Steven gestures to his larger, more muscular form. The smile on his face is wide and cracking at the edges. "I'm having fun!"
A flare of pink energy washes over them both. The little boy didn't react beyond setting a pink hand on his shoulder. "You are in mental meltdown. I deemed it too much strain to be out there."
"You can't stop me," he says, jerking his limb away. Another burst of pink left him, crackling the imaginary darkness. "Jasper's gonna get the upper hand if I don't get out of here!"
"Jasper's state is not the prerogative."
Steven swooned under the blow of those words. That something built to protect him didn't see her as a threat, it meant she was hurt. Bad. He clutched his hands over his ears. The silence was deafening, a cacophony of empty that was twisting into a chorus. "I can't- I won't- stop singing!"
Pink flares across the room as the tiny boy slowly pulled his hands away. "A single Diamond can have devastating effects. You must right this. If the music gets louder..."
He swallowed back nausea. Steven knew what a Diamond's song could do. He knew damn well. "Why did you stop growing?" he asked instead, but instantly felt like he shouldn't've. It felt obvious. It felt damning.
The pink half of him cracked a smile. "Why did you?"
HOMEWORLD BOUND
White falls onto Yellow's side as Steven warps away. She's shaking hard, and Yellow quicky and efficiently gathers her close. Blue coos and comes up on her other side, supporting the tallest Diamond between the two of them.
"I don't understand," she's mumbling, voice quavering with fear. "What did I do wrong?"
"He needs to want our help, White," Blue reminds her gently. "Perhaps... we're too much."
Yellow tuts but says nothing. Steven had always tried to run circles around them- around his destiny. It was just his way. He'd never felt comfortable around them, and that was probably their fault. They drove him away just like they did Pink.
"He left his thingy!" Spinel says, bringing a long arm up to show-off his sandal. "Maybe we oughta bring it to him? Check on him, y'know?"
"We might make it worse," Yellow warns them.
White shakes her head, nails digging into Yellow's arm. "We have to."
Yellow sighs and nods. They've driven him so far away, she really doesn't know if this will be too far. Blue's really the one who gets the emotional aspect of all of this. "I'll prepare our ship."
EVERYTHING'S FINE
It's not quick, and it's not painless.
Jagged spines shoot out of his back as the world erupts into a sickening chorus. His jaw lengthens, widens, and grows sharp. Horns grow from his skull. And everything expands, getting larger and larger. Steven regains enough to know he needs to move, but that gets him about two steps before the world explodes into pink scales and splinters.
He has a momentary thought that every Gem he's healed went through this, but then his claws slide out and he can't really think anymore.
He just knows he needs to run.
I AM MY MONSTER
Steven falls into bed and sleeps for about fourteen hours. During this time the Diamonds leave, Dr. Maheswaran gets a phone call, and Greg sits in the empty and destroyed shell of the house.
"We really messed up," he realizes quietly.
Garnet hangs her head as Pearl bodily flinches. Amethyst crosses her arms and turns away, hurt beyond measure. They all held private pieces of guilt for what they've done. They all assumed Steven was happy. They all assumed wrong.
"I shoulda known better," Amethyst rasps. "When I got better, but he didn't."
"We were supposed to keep him safe," Garnet adds somberly. "I'm truly sorry, Greg."
"Hey, I didn't exactly win father of the year award myself. I think... I think we all had a part to play in this."
Pearl broke off into quiet sobs, burying her face in Garnet's shoulder.
Greg slapped his knees. "Alright," he decided. "We need to do better this time. For him."
THE FUTURE
In his dreams, he's sitting with a young Steven. He's glowing pink, vibrating with energy as his body fights to battle an unknown enemy. He breathes in, out, in, and it slowly fades away.
He reaches out and ruffles the kid's hair. "Sometimes, love isn't enough, buddy. Sometimes we get scared and our body fights for us. And for so long we thought it had to. But we're safe. We're loved."
He cups the boy's face, smiling.
"The world is full of love."
Author's Note: What a ride, huh? I've never done one of these before, let alone finished! I'm definitely considering doing She-Ra next. I just need to find a good song for it.
I'm sad I didn't get to the movie, but I honestly wasn't sure how to handle it! A drabble every musical number? A drabble every ten minutes? A single drabble?
-Mandaree1