"Carlisle" I looked up into his soft gold eyes, struggling to comprehend that both of them could be back. Why would they come back? I thought they hated me. Why would he come back?

"Good morning Bella, how are you feeling" he placed a tray full of food just next to my legs giving me a full view of the food piled high

"I'm alright" I couldn't stand to keep looking into his eyes as the pain in my chest screamed at me to tell the truth, hoping to be held as I cried and poured out my pain to them.

"You should eat something," he said placing the tray on my lap although the more I looked down at the food in my lap the quicker my already tiny appetite dwindled "Why don't you try to eat some eggs" I slowly picked up my fork starting to eat but with eat fork full the more sick I felt. I couldn't eat anymore but didn't want to see the disappointed look on there as I stopped. I just couldn't eat anymore.

I placed my fork back onto the plate not able to look at them after the pitiful attempt I had made at eating any of the food Carlisle had prepared for me, "I'm sorry, they were really nice I just can't eat anymore"

Carlisle let out one sigh before taking the tray from my lap "It's quite alright, you can eat more later" I stayed silent as Carlisle left the room tray in hand, Esme and I let the silence surround us for a few moments before she started to speak.

"Well, why don't you have a shower dear, I have put fresh towels, and soap out" I only nodded before standing slowly allowing all my taught mussels to stretch and my joints to crack loudly, I made my way into the large ensuite hurrying to turn on the shower not wanting to spare a second to glance at the mirror.

I allowed the steam to fill the room as I stood under the hot water, watching as it turned my normally pale skin to a shocking red. I thickly lathered my thin neglected hair with the sweet scent of vanilla shampoo, and revitalising conditioner. Esme had thought of everything that I would need the shower gel cotted me in a calming lavender, and the face wash healing the blemishes and stress marks of my depression, spreading its hydration across my face. Stepping out of the shower I tightly wrapped the warm fluffy towel, quickly drying off. I found my clothes neatly folded on the bed, my blue hoodie and grey sweatpants.

I could stand the pain in my chest that broke out the second I had shut the door to the bathroom. Leaving Esme and Carlisle's room, I hurried down the hallway until I could hear their voices in the living room. Silently I descended the stairs, knowing that they could hear me anyway, I made my way to the living room and sat on the loveseat in the corner opposite Carliels and Esme letting its soft interior wrap around me. "Bella, we need to talk about everything that has happened these past months, if that's alright with you" Carlisle gently asked, despite his tone I knew it wasn't a request, but I couldn't, I just couldn't give them the guilt despite the lies they so happily gave me, they still gave me happiness. They gave me a family. Despite the pain they gave me, I will be eternally grateful for the love I felt even if it was just a lie. I stayed silent hoping that nothing more would be said. They stayed silent accepting they weren't going to get any answers.

Hours passed Carlise and Esme tried to get some answers for those months they had been gone for although I still remained silent, in my corner avoiding their gazes despite my eyes never resting on anything for long. Curled up on the chair, I felt my eyes getting tired even though I had been asleep for so long already. Slowly I fell asleep as I lost my battle to remain conscience, tightly curled up. Before I completely fell asleep I felt a soft fluffy blanket laid on top of me and light kisses tapped my forehead.

While asleep I was plagued with questions. Why had Esme and Carliels returned? Why were they acting like they cared?

Of course, I could never escape my nightmares. "You were just a pet" the exact moment Edward had destroyed me, when I became nothing. "We never loved you" Esme's usually soft voice became harsh and cold, cutting deep as she told me what I knew but didn't want to accept. "I regret ever letting you believe you could be in my family, you unlovable human" Carlisle shouted, his warm eyes cold and harsh. All the Cullens walked away as I screamed my apologies trying to run after them only to fall over as my legs froze.

Air. I can't breathe. I need air. I need to breathe. It hurt my chest was on fire, as the hole in my chest widened as every word bounced around my head. Confirming they could never, would never love me. Forcing me to accept the truth. The ugly truth. I was a horrible human. A horrible ugly human. A horrible unloveable ugly human.

"Bella, you dreaming" a distorted male voice screamed around my head

"Bella please wake up" This time it was a female voice the distortion made my head ache as I tried to work out what was real and what was fake. Was I really still trying to convince myself that the Cullens would love me and would come back? Or was I really still alone?

The cold air finally froze my lungs as my eyes flew open wide, a scream escaping me. I need an escape I have to get out. Eyes jumping trying to find some safety. Stop. they lock onto two sets of gold eyes full of pity and concern making me hurt with conflict. They don't really care. My mind screamed at me, I knew it was true it was always going to be true. The pain only built up and up but I would never let them know, that I was so weak and pathetic. I couldn't burden them with that guilt.