Edward: Aren't you gonna do it?
Bella: Do what?
Edward: You know, cry.
Bella: Why would I cry?
Edward: Because that's what you do in the book. You're upset that you hurt Jacob emotionally, but can't do anything about it, so you cry for hours about it.
Bella: Yeah, but Kieran didn't write me that way, so I'm not gonna do it.
Edward: You could though.
Bella: But I won't.
Edward: But you could.
Bella: But I won't.
Edward: But you…
Bella: Look, it's not gonna happen, okay? Let's just skip to the first part of the chapter that isn't about that.
Edward: But…
Bella: SKIP!
*at the Cullen's house*
Bella: Thank you. Now, what was I doing here?
Alice: You were giving me free reign with what to do for your wedding.
Bella: Really? That doesn't sound like me.
Alice: Well too bad, because I'm doing it anyway.
Bella: And if I stop you?
Alice: And how exactly would you manage that?
Bella: I'd…uh…fuck.
Alice: No you wouldn't, we're both straight.
Bella: That's not what I…ugh, whatever. Just don't make it too over the top.
Alice: No promises *leaves to go plan the wedding*
Edward: You know she's already picked a dress for you, right?
Bella: Why does that not surprise me?
Edward: So…what else can we do in this chapter?
Bella: Nothing really. I think we just have to tell Charlie about the engagement off-screen, and then we're done with this story.
Edward: What about the Epilogue?
Bella: We're not in that, and Kieran wants to wrap this up and get back to the Abridged series people actually care about.
Edward: Yeah, that's fair *punches Bella in the arm*
Bella: OW! Why would you do that?
Edward: I'm trying to get you to cry *punches her again*
Bella: OW! Stop that.
Edward: Are you gonna cry?
Bella: Will it make you stop?
Edward: Maybe.
Bella: *sigh* Fine *pokes herself in the eye, causing a single tear to fall* Happy?
Edward: Very.