Leah: Are you seriously still moping out here?
Jacob: *sitting on a cliffside* Hi Leah, what are you doing here?
Leah: Trying to stop you from bitching about losing Bella to the bloodsucker.
Jacob: His name is Edward.
Leah: And that's another thing: why the hell are you friends with him?
Jacob: Just because we're supposed to hate each other doesn't mean we can't be friends.
Leah: That's not how this works, that's not how any of that works.
Jacob: Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to continue being alone.
Leah: Yes, I'll leave the guy that's about to lose the love of his life alone on the side of a cliff with no-one else around.
Jacob: Yes, thank you.
Leah: You know, that fall probably wouldn't be enough to kill you.
Jacob: I thought you were leaving?
Leah: It would actually be more annoying to carry you back home so the doctor can look at you.
Jacob: Did you forget you were leaving?
Leah: And if it did somehow kill you, how do you think your dad would feel?
Jacob: Are you seriously not going to leave?
Leah: I'll leave when you tell me what's so great about Bella that you keep going into these states of depression about her.
Jacob: How do you know I get depressed?
Leah: You know we share a mind when we're wolves, right? You think ANYTHING, and everyone else knows it. And you guys REALLY need to clean up your minds.
Jacob: Then stay out of my head.
Leah: I literally can't. Now, what's so great about Bella?
Jacob: She has the first pair of boobs I ever saw.
Leah: …and? You see my boobs all the time these days when I have to transform in a hurry.
Jacob: Which reminds me: why aren't you just naked like the rest of us?
Leah: Because some of us have a sense of decency, you degenerate.
Jacob: Bella doesn't seem to mind.
Leah: And I didn't either until my brother started doing it.
Jacob: When did Seth imprint?
Leah: He hasn't…ugh, just, get over Bella already.
Jacob: No can do.
Leah: Just do it, okay? You have no idea how bad it is having a shared consciousness with someone simping over a girl who's already made a different choice. Seriously, it's bad enough I have to deal with Sam's guilt over leaving me, and don't even get me started on the whole thing with Quil and Claire. I don't need this shit too.
Jacob: Poor Leah, you've never had anyone who loves you.
Leah: Are you fucking serious right now?
Jacob: One day, you'll know how it feels to have unrequited love too.
Leah: …you're a cunt *leaves*
Jacob: Finally, she leaves…though I guess I should go home *leaves too*
*Black residence*
Billy: Hey kid, how's it going?
Jacob: Eh, not bad.
Billy: Did you have fun while you were out there?
Jacob: …I guess.
Billy: Do anything interesting?
Jacob: Why are you talking so much? You don't normally talk this much.
Billy: I'm trying to distract you.
Jacob: You mean from this? *holding a fancy envelope*
Billy: …yeah, that.
Jacob: *opening it up* Silly dad, I already knew Bella and Edward were getting married *a piece of paper falls out of the envelope* Huh? What's this? *opens up the paper*
Edward's note: Hey Jacob, sorry that Bella picked me over you. I know you tried your hardest, but apparently she likes me more. Anyway, I just wanted to say that as much as it sucks that you lost, we'd still love to see you at the wedding. Please? Hopefully this doesn't affect us being bros. I'd really hate that. Anyway, I hope to see you there. Until next time best buddy – Edward.
Jacob: *sigh* I'm sorry, best buddy *runs out the door*
Billy: Jacob, where are you going?
Jacob: Away *transforms into a wolf*
Billy: Away where? JACOB?!
Jacob: I can't deal with this rejection anymore. I need some space.
Embry: Hey Jacob, where are you going?
Jacob: I don't want to talk about it.
Quil: That's not what he asked.
Jacob: I said leave me alone.
Embry: No, you said you didn't want to talk about it.
Jacob: What part of 'I want to be alone' don't you understand?
Quil: Come on man, we're just trying to help.
Jacob: Don't make me come back there.
Sam: *sighs* Guys, just let him go.
Embry: But Sam…
Sam: Just let him get whatever this is out of his system, and he'll be back.
Quil: Whatever.
Jacob: Thanks Sam.
Sam: Don't think you're off the hook yet. You're gonna have a lot of explaining to do when you get back.
Jacob: Jokes on you, I don't intend to come back.
Sam: Give it a few months, Kieran will be done writing whatever's replacing this, and we'll probably be back again.
Author's note: And that's it. Eclipse is done. Just Breaking Dawn to go…unless I do something else like I may or may not do with Harry Potter. We'll talk about that later. Anyway, thank you for reading, and as for my next fic (which you can vote for on my profile), I think I'm doing another Cards Against Humanity game. I have no idea who to have playing it, since no-one's suggested anything, but I'll come up with something. Until next time guys.