Author Note: This chapter comes with trigger warning. There is some talk about physical abuse. It is short on not to graphic and it is in the first part
Chapter 220 – Doug Shares His Past
When Doug got back downstairs, Jacobs was waiting there for him. Faith had already left and he knew that Dee had run into town. Jacobs looked at Doug.
"Are you going to be okay?" Jacobs asked.
"Yes." Doug said. "Why do you ask?"
"I heard what you said." Jacobs said. "You have been injured. What was that about Jack's father?"
Doug took a deep breath and motioned toward the table. Jacobs took a seat and Doug went to the stove and got the coffee heating again. He stood at the stove while the coffee warmed. Jacobs was going to let Doug have a moment. Finally, Doug poured two mugs of coffee and brought them to the table.
"Not a lot of people know this." Doug said.
Doug stood up, unbuttoned his shirt and then pulled his henley over his head. He turned around and showed Jacobs his back. It was covered in criss crossing scars. Doug heard Jacobs gasp. He pulled his henley back and slipped his button up on. Doug sat down, his shirt unbuttoned and looked at Jacobs.
"What happened to you?" Jacobs asked.
"When I turned fifteen." Doug said. "My mother thought I needed a male role model. It had been a few years since I lost my father, so she sent me to my uncle's ranch for a summer. This was my uncle's idea of discipline. He would whip me with rope. After a particularly brutal night, I ran away from the ranch. I got three ranches over before I collapsed. The mother there took pity on me and agreed to hide me. She tried to treat my wounds, but they became infected and I had to undergo something similar to what you did to Jack. The scars aren't only on my back, but across my buttocks and upper legs.
Once my wounds had healed and I was able to travel, the rancher where I took refuge sent me back to my mother along with a letter explaining what my uncle had done. My mother felt bad. She had no idea that my father's brother was like that. She was so angry at him, but when she went to the Mounties, there wasn't much that they were able or willing to do. I was so angry. It was part of why I wanted to join the Mounties. I wanted to be able to help people. The other part of me wanting to be a Mountie was to prove I was better then my father and uncle. My father was a soldier before his drinking caught up to him. After he was killed in a bar fight, it was hard on my mother. We settled in Union City where she worked hard to provide for us.
Really the only other people that know the story of what happened to me are Jack and Joe. Jack saw the scars one day and basically pressured me to tell him. It took a while, but finally the whole story came tumbling out. I told him every gory detail of what my uncle did to me and the long and grueling recovery after I ran away. It was the first time that I shared the details. I had just told the rancher and his wife enough to get help. I told my mother enough that she understood. Jack was the first time I had told the whole story.
The thing about Jack's father, well the last days of his life they gave him morphine and he was in and out of consciousness. He watched his father be plagued with nightmares for over a week before his father went to sleep on afternoon and never woke up again. It was a merciful thing to the morphine in the end, but he had been on it for weeks and it had taken its toll on Thomas. Not only that, it had taken its toll on Jack watching his strong father wither away like that. At eleven years old, Jack swore he would never take morphine then he absolutely had to. He felt that one dose was one dose too many. So that tells he how much pain he really is in."
"I am sorry you had to go through that." Jacobs said. "It is understandable about his father and not wanting to be on painkillers."
"Nothing to be sorry about." Doug said.
"No child should have to go through what you did." Jacobs said.
"It was just one more thing that bonded Jack, Joe and I." Doug said. "We had all lost our fathers, we had all moved around growing up and we all carried our fair share of scars. Not all were visible. We bonded over it all. Some people have said that we are closer than most brothers. We can not talk for months and pick up like no time has passed."
"That is a special thing to have." Jacobs said. "I see what you mean by you know the pain that Jack is going through. I also think you are the best one to be here to help him. I don't know when you have to be back, but I will do what I can to help you stay here as long as you want and are needed."
"Thank you." Doug said. "Dee said the same thing. I don't want to get into it right now, but my Sergeant at my posting is not the best and there are problems. I have talked to Dee about it."
"If you want to share." Jacobs said. "I am here and I am a good listener."
"Thank you." Doug said. "But I am okay right now."
"I will let it be for now." Jacobs said. "Faith and I will be back after eleven, probably closer to noon. I don't know when or if Elizabeth's family will be back out here. The cadets are guarding the front and back, so if you need anything, send one of them. I am going to go to services and then see what needs to be done in town."
"I will be fine." Doug said. "I was going to encourage Dee to head in for services as well. I told Elizabeth that I would be here if she or Jack needed anything."
"Then I will leave you be." Jacobs said. "Dee should be back soon. Please make sure that Jack has his medicated tea before we come. Also have a pot of water on the stove for us."
"I will." Doug said.
Jacobs finished his mug and took it to the sink before he left. Doug sat at the table and slowly finished his coffee. He hadn't planned on telling Jacobs about his scars, but he also knew that he needed to prove he was there for Jack and he truly understood what Jack was going through.
As Doug was finishing his coffee, Dee came back with a large package of soup bones. Together the two of them got a large pot going to boil the bone and make soup stock. Once the stock was on, Dee went back to lay down. Doug settled on the couch with a book. Doug would occasionally get up and check the stove, but otherwise it was a quiet morning. Jack and Elizabeth were sleeping upstairs. Dee slept for quite a long time in the bedroom downstairs. Doug read through two books.
It was a little after eleven when Elizabeth came downstairs. She looked around and saw Doug asleep on the couch. She then looked in the other bedroom and saw Dee working on a sketch.
"Hey." Dee said.
"Hey." Elizabeth said. "I was just going to start getting lunch ready."
"We made soup stock earlier." Dee said. "It might still be on the stove. I had brought back a large package of beef bones."
"Thank you." Elizabeth said. "I was going to make vegetable beef soup."
"That sounds good." Dee said. "Do you want some help?"
"If you want." Elizabeth said.
"Be out in a bit." Dee said.
Elizabeth went back to the kitchen and started getting everything ready to make vegetable beef soup. There was still plenty of roast beef from the day before. It wasn't long and Dee came out and helped her. Together they got a large batch of soup going. It would be enough for the four of them for lunch and there would be plenty to give Jack later as well. Elizabeth also made a batch of biscuits to go with the soup.
While they were making lunch, Dee told Elizabeth about what everyone else was going. He also talked about what Frank said at services. Dee told Elizabeth that Frank again asked for prayers for Jack. He gave a general update on Jack and said that he had a setback but was recovering. Elizabeth was glad that Frank had said something and asked people to pray for Jack.
Just as they sat down after getting lunch going, Jack called out in pain. Before either Dee or Elizabeth could react, Doug jumped up from the couch and sprinted up the stairs. Elizabeth slowly got up and followed. Dee had nodded that he would stay downstairs and watch the stove.
Doug got up to Jack's room and didn't bother knocking but went right into Jack. When Doug walked in, he saw Jack thrashing about. Almost like he was fighting someone. Doug immediately recognized it as a nightmare. Instead of going right to Jack and risking getting hurt, Doug went close to Jack, but out of arm's reach.
"Jack." Doug said softly. "You are safe Jack. You need to calm down."
Doug's words were having a bit of an effect on Jack, but he was still in the nightmare.
"I have got you, Jack." Doug said. "You need to slow down."
Doug reached out to touch Jack and he recoiled, like it caused him pain. It was about that time that Elizabeth came into the room.
"He is having a nightmare." Doug said. "It is from the morphine."
Elizabeth slipped into the bed. Doug was sitting on the chair behind Jack.
"Jack." Elizabeth cooed. "Come on, it is me."
Jack's actions seemed to still.
"Keep going." Doug said softly.
Elizabeth scooted closer to Jack. She carefully reached out for his hand and placed it on her baby bump.
"Come Jack." Elizabeth said. "This little one and I need you. You need to calm down and heal."
Jack rolled more toward Elizabeth. She looked up at Doug who nodded. Elizabeth moved into Jack's embrace. She was face to face with Jack when he finally stilled.
"Jack." Elizabeth said, softly. "I know that you are tired and in pain, but I need you to open your eyes for a moment."
It took a bit but Jack's eyes finally fluttered open.
"Bella." Jack rasped.
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "We got you. You are safe. Go back to sleep, I am right here."
Jack closed his eyes and rested his head on Elizabeth's forehead. It only took a few moments and Elizabeth felt Jack's body relax. She turned over so her back was to Jack's chest and his arm draped over her.
"I will stay here for now." Elizabeth said. "Can you help Dee get lunch finished and his tea made. Once he has his tea, you guys can help him downstairs."
"Sounds good." Doug said.
Elizabeth watched Doug leave the room and leave the door open. She took a moment to just be present with Jack.
Doug walked out of the room and down the hall a bit before stopping. He leaned his back against the wall and took a deep breath. As much as he knew that Jack needed the pain medication, he knew that if he was having nightmares, they were going to have to get him off of it soon. He remembered the nightmares that came with the use of morphine and there were times that they still haunted him. That was the last thing that he wanted for Jack. Not only was Jack fighting the demons of his past, but with the morphine, his mind wasn't clear it made it harder to know what was reality."
After collecting himself, Doug headed back downstairs. He just hoped that Dee didn't ask too many questions. He wasn't sure how much Jack had shared.
"He okay?" Dee asked when he saw Doug.
"Yes." Doug said. "It was a nightmare. I have seen worse, but it was still bad. Elizabeth and I were able to calm him down. I know that we need to get him to eat some broth, and drink the tea you were talking about, but let's let him rest for a bit."
"Beth staying with him?" Dee asked.
Doug nodded as he took a seat. Dee studied Doug for a moment. He recognized that Doug knew more about the nightmares then he was letting on. Dee didn't want to pry or force Doug to talk about something that was difficult, especially at this moment. Doug could feel Dee watching him.
"Were you able to bring him out easily?" Dee asked
"Mostly." Doug said. "I want you to understand the nightmares are from morphine."
"Yes." Dee said. "I was attacked twice last year while working in Cape Fullerton. The second time, Dad didn't give me change and moved me out of Cape Fullerton as soon as the doctors said I could travel. I wanted off the morphine because I felt the nightmares and the fog it gave me was hindering my recovery. Dad got in touch with a Cree elder that he knew and I was given a medicated tea that was stronger than the one I am on now. As the pain became more manageable I switched to this tea. We have been using it for Jack as well, because he was experiencing pain from the breathing treatments."
"I am sorry that happened to you." Doug said. "I know the dangers and pitfalls of morphine as well. It happened when I was a teenager, but honestly I don't want to talk about it."
"I wasn't going to ask." Dee said. "But you know I am here if you want to talk. My experience might have been different, but I understand going through pain."
"Thanks." Doug said. "Let's just get everything ready and then bring Jack down. I have a feeling Nurse Carter and Sergeant Jacobs will be back soon."
Dee looked at the clock and realized that they had probably less than an hour. They made sure that lunch was ready and the water was heating for Jack's breathing treatment. The water for tea was also hot. Dee actually got a cup of his medicated tea steeping for Jack.
"How do you want to do this?" Dee asked.
"I think it is going to take both of us." Doug said. "How about I head up and send Elizabeth down and then you come up and help me."
"Sounds good." Dee said.
Doug headed back upstairs. Before he got to the bedroom, he stopped and once again gathered himself. Seeing Jack suffer like that was bringing up a lot of things Doug felt he had dealt with. He took a deep breath and slowly blew it out. He stepped into the doorway and lightly knocked on the doorframe.
"Elizabeth." Doug said. "We have lunch and Jack's tea ready. If you want to help me wake Jack and then head down, Dee will come up and help me bring Jack down."
"Okay." Elizabeth said.
Elizabeth moved so she was facing Jack. She took her hand and brushed her fingers through his hair. She watched Jack lean into her touch.
"Come on Jack." Elizabeth said softly. "I need you to open your eyes."
She was playing with the hair at the back of Jack's head and down to the nape of his neck. Forgetting what it did to Jack, she continued to play with Jack's hair as she brushed her other hand across his check. As Jack became more aware, but without opening his eyes, he reached out and pulled Elizabeth to himself and captured her lips. When he moved his body, he suddenly pulled back and cried out in pain.
"Sorry, Jack." Elizabeth said. "Just take a couple deep breaths."
Doug and Elizabeth watched as Jack's face was scrunched up in pain.
"She is right." Doug said. "Slow breaths. I know that it is painful right now, but I got you."
Jack tried to open his eyes and look around.
"Take your time." Doug said.
Jack turned his head and looked over at Doug.
"Elizabeth." Doug said. "Why don't you go down and send Dee up."
"I will see you downstairs." Elizabeth said.
She leaned over and gave Jack another kiss, before she slipped from the bed and headed downstairs. It pained Elizabeth to see Jack react the way he did. She felt bad when she realized that he was in pain because she pushed him.
Elizabeth walked downstairs and without saying anything, she went to the kitchen. Dee immediately headed up to give Elizabeth the moment that she obviously needed.