I had been back in Cyprus for 2 days now. I had successfully avoided people so far, except Rusty and Dale obviously. When Rusty accidentally brought up the baby I was kind of forced to tell Dale. Unfortunately for me, the revelation led to a long talk about sin and waiting for marriage.

I knew I made a mistake. But I'm dealing with it and accepting the responsibility. So I was just going to ignore Dale's religious rambles. I was accepting this and trying to be happy about it. As happy as I could be.

I find myself touching my bump sometimes now, imagining her in there and occasionally even find myself smiling about it. I think about her all the time and wonder if she'll have my green eyes or Cappie's blue eyes. If she'll be funny like him, if she'll like ballet like I did as a kid, or soccer, or skating. Really I just want to meet her already even though I knew I had a long way to go in the pregnancy.

I had heard about the toga party last night and had even seen Cappie and the other KT's in their togas but I had quickly turned the other way, ran, and avoided a confrontation with him.

It was the next morning now after the toga party and Rusty and Dale had come back late last night, they were still asleep. I spent the night before watching The Bachelor and eating ice cream and brownies. I had really been craving brownies lately.

I'm laying on the futon staring at the ceiling now thinking about all I have to do today. Packing up my stuff at ZBZ. Hopefully the girls wouldn't notice the small bump that was forming. I would wear something loose and hope that no one said anything, especially Rebecca who always seemed to be able to see through me when I lied.

I was trying to pick myself up off the couch to get ready for the day. I was so tired because I'd barely slept. I suppose it could have something to do with the uncomfortable futon. But it could also be the racing thoughts I was having about Cappie. About how Rusty can't stand that I'm not telling him. About how he was only a 5 minute car ride away and I could finally share this with him.

But he's Cappie, he's probably hungover right now from last night, probably even has a girl in his bed right now.

I sigh and get up, going to grab some cereal. I couldn't even have coffee.

Thanks a lot baby.

It was mid day now and I was walking up the driveway to ZBZ. I couldn't help but feel something when I saw the house. I had so many special times here, with Ashleigh, with Cappie, with all the other girls.

I find a tear rolling down my face.

Jesus, these pregnancy hormones really were starting to get to me.

Be strong Casey, I remind myself and I compose myself and knock on the door.

"Casey?", Rebecca answers the door.

"Hey", I give a small smile and walk inside.

"I was wondering when you'd get here! Thank god", She says.

"Aw you missed me?", I beam.

"Well… more so I've just been waiting for you to clear out your crap since I'm going to be using your old room. I am president now, so I get the pick of the rooms and I want your stuff out so I can put in my elliptical!", She rambles. "I haven't been able to workout in days!"

I scoff.

"Wow… what a warm welcome", I say sarcastically.

Rebecca gives me a look.

"Fine… I am kind of glad to see you. We're kind of dealing with a dilemma right now", She sighs, annoyed. "Teagan is supposed to arrive soon and she wants us to interview people for a house mother position".

"Well maybe a house mother could be good", I shrug to a glare from Rebecca.

"Yeah sure Casey, some grown woman watching our every move. That's just great", she rolls her eyes sarcastically and then looks me up and down.

"What?", I ask as she looks at me.

"You look different somehow, I don't know", She looks at me quizzically.

"Well", I say awkwardly, moving to the stairs to evade this conversation. "I'm just the same old me. Anyways Becs I gotta go get my stuff. Wouldn't want you to not be able to use your elliptical right?"

I ramble awkwardly, hoping she'll forget the fact that my stomach isn't flat like it used to be.

"Exactly, I'm the president so I have to represent ZBZ and let everyone know we're the hottest girls on campus", She says like it's obvious.

"Exactly Miss President", I nod. "I'll just be upstairs then".

"Alright, the other girls are at a pledge event so when they come back I'm sure they'd love to see you", She gives me a small smile. A rarity for Rebecca.

"That would be great, I miss everyone so much", I nod and then walk up the stairs to get to my room.

I missed it here. Only in the last few months had I started to understand why Cappie refused to leave here. My sorority was my life, the girls were my family. And this house was my home. To leave it all felt like a punch to the gut, like I was leaving a part of me behind.

But it was going to have to be time for me to grow up. I was going to be a mom in a few months. I couldn't be a college student forever.

I get into my room and see my old stuff, evoking nostalgia in me, and making me miss Ash.

I sit down on my bare mattresss. I had a lot of stuff to pack up since I'd basically just ran off back in the spring, not thinking about anything else except getting back home and getting an abortion.

That didn't exactly go to plan though.

I was in Cyprus to get the rest of my stuff and then I was supposed to go home. But what I hadn't told anyone, not even Rusty, was that I was partially here because I didn't really know if I could just pack up and move back to Chicago and live out every day with my parents in my childhood bedroom while I waited for this baby to come.

It was exactly what I didn't want. Cyprus was my home. Even if Ashleigh wasn't here, Rusty was, and lots of my sisters, and of course, Cappie. Just knowing he was here made me feel at ease for some reason. I didn't want to leave, but I only had 48 hours left to figure everything out.

I look in my drawer to get everything out and into a box when I come across a photo. I had it in a frame at one point, and then I folded it so it looked like it was just me and Evan, back when I was dating Evan. It was of Cappie, me and Evan in freshman year. I can't believe I ever thought I could have a future with Evan, especially when even in this photo the person I'm looking right at, the person I'd always been looking at, was Cappie, not Evan. I didn't even know I still had it.

It makes me emotional just looking at it. More so than usual, it was these stupid pregnancy hormones.

I put my hand to my stomach and speak in a whisper. I knew it was probably stupid to talk to her like this, but it made me feel closer to her, not to mention the past few months of talking to her actually felt like having a companion. Like she was already my best friend.

"I know I haven't really been very upfront about things baby, but… this is your dad", I whisper. "That's what's making mommy so sad right now".

"Casey!", I hear a voice. My heart skips a beat, all of my senses at attention now. Fear immediately taking over my body.

Am I imagining it?

I hear noises near the bushes in front of the house and see him crawling over to get in the windowed doors that barely opened. They were really more so there for decoration.

It was him.

"Crap! Go to sleep or something baby. Things are about to get crazy", I whisper to her and stand up, trying to smooth out my top but when I catch a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror I realize it's no use. I'm pregnant and you can tell. There's really no way to hid it.

I quickly grab one of the small pillows on my bed and hold it in front of me in my arms, my heart pounding as he opens the window to get in.

"Case!"

His eyes meet mine for the first time in months. Just seeing him makes my stomach flutter. Or was that her moving in there?

He gets through the window now and he rolls over on Ash's mattress stifling a laugh out of me.

"Cappie?", I say, basically dumbfounded at this point.

"I just wanted to say… I'm sorry. For everything. For nice hat, especially for Cinco De Mayo-"

I cut him off.

"Cap!"

"No listen this is my turn okay?", He says and he I can see he's on edge, ready to start into a speech which I don't feel right about him doing when he has no idea what's going on behind this pillow. "You called me out on spring break, and you were right, I am scared. And I know it's going to be hard but I'm totally willing to-

"I'm pregnant", I blurt out, stopping him from saying whatever he's about to say. Because I'm pretty sure the fact that I'm pregnant and the fact that I've been a pretty horrible person keeping it from him are going to factor into whether or not he wants to keep going with his speech.

"Wait wait?", He stops in his tracks.

I move the pillow and throw it on my bed.

"I'm sorry", Is all I can muster up.

I can tell he's eyeing my belly now and his eyes grow wide.

"I just kind of popped the last two weeks and I thought I would have time to get all my stuff here before I did but there's really no hiding it-", I ramble on trying to fill the silence but he cuts me off.

"You're pregnant, pregnant?", He says more like a statement than a question. "Like actually have a… belly pregnant. How… how is that possible?"

"Well I know you probably didn't pay much attention in health class but…", I trail off.

"No Casey I mean… it's mine then?", He looks at me, fear in his eyes. "This isn't some new development with a new boyfriend?"

"No, there's no new boyfriend", I make sure he knows. I feel like my hearts about to beat out of my chest. "I'm about 20 weeks. It's your… I mean our… baby".

I have a hard time getting the word baby out. Just because it feels so foreign, the whole sentence.

"Is this some sort of prank or…?", He looks around the room. "You're serious?"

"I'm sorry", It's hard for me to stop the feeling of tears springing to my eyes now. "I'm so sorry Cap".

"You… you would've told me though? I- I can't believe this", He looks like he's about to hyperventilate.

"I tried to tell you so many times but… it never felt right and you were so mad at me back in the spring when I found out", I know my excuses are no good. I'm in the wrong here and there was no talking myself out of it.

"Casey, we're talking about a baby here?! And you just… what? Were gonna send me a postcard when it's born?", He looks so upset. "Or were you even gonna do that? You were just gonna pretend I didn't exist?"

"No!", I get out. "Of course not, I was always going to tell you. I just needed some time".

"Casey this isn't something you can just take time with and leave me in the dark for three months! This… involves me too", He puts his hands on his temples. "I feel like I'm gonna pass out".

"I'm sorry Cappie", I start to cry now.

He just looks at me.

"How could you do this?"

"I know how bad I messed up but you know we didn't leave in a good place", I say. "You didn't even wish me congratulations for graduating for god sakes. Or tell me to have a good summer! I didn't even think you were going to say goodbye to me when all this time you thought I was going to GW and you just didn't care!"

I guess I didn't realize how hurt I'd been over this. How much he'd hurt me. Made me question how much we both loved each other when I thought we were literal soulmates just a few months ago.

"Casey…", He looks at me softly now, taking a break from the anger and hurt for the first time since I dropped this on him. He looks slightly surprised at my burst of emotion.

"I thought we loved each other. I really did. But this summer… I realized you didn't even care what I was doing, didn't care if I was okay. I could've left to GW and what? You would've just moved on with one of your many girls from the summer?", I cross my arms.

He looks at me, slightly confused at the last part.

"Rusty told me about all the girls this summer that you apparently hooked up with… well more like I badgered it out of him but still…", I argue. "I had the worst summer of my life Cappie! I was so sick every day and I couldn't even think about looking at another guy when everyday our baby grew more and more and only reminded me how much I loved you. How much I wanted to be with you! I would've killed to have even just seen you for two minutes, for one last hug or… one last night together".

"You could've called me and I would've been there in a heartbeat Case, you know that!", He's emotional now too, something that was a beautiful rarity from Cappie.

"Do I?", I cry out. "I didn't get that impression with how things ended and it was too painful to tell you I was pregnant and have you not care at all, or not want to be there".

"So you just decided to just not tell me at all?", He looks more hurt than angry and in turn that hurts me. It's worse than anger.

"I wanted to. And I planned to at graduation", tears stream down my face now. "I just couldn't handle…."

"Couldn't handle what? Me being the dad? I get it Case, it's no secret that a future with me isn't really what you'd be banking on but-"

"Cappie it wasn't about you being the dad! In fact… ", I cut him off right away. "I guess it was about you being the dad, but not in the way you think. When we broke up I still loved you, and when we fought on Cinco De Mayo I still loved you, and on my graduation day I still loved you".

I'm practically yelling at him now and he just watches me in shock. All my feelings I'd bottled up over the summer were finally coming out.

"So?", He throws his hands up. "If you loved me then why didn't you love me enough to tell me that we're gonna have a baby together? If you loved me why didn't you tell me and we could've made this work, made us work?!"

"Because you broke up with me!", I argue. "I thought you were mad at me, you treated me so… you treated me with so much anger at the beginning there and… I was scared!"

He looks at me empathetically now.

"Case…", He comes closer to me. "I'm sorry, I don't want to see you cry. I don't ever want to make you cry".

I wipe my tears.

"It's… it's fine. It's my fault anyway", I say.

He sighs then.

"I don't know what to say", He says, his voice quiet now.

"Well do you want to think about it for awhile and we can talk again? I understand it's a lot to take in", I suggest.

He nods and I watch his eyes drift from my face to my stomach.

"Yeah… can we talk again tonight?", He suggests. "I'm just in shock I think".

I nod.

"I'm free anytime", I say. "Ash is gone and I can't really go anywhere right now because then everyone will know. I'm actually staying at Rusty and Dale's. Dale has been very critical of the baby out of wedlock thing and I have to sleep on a futon but other than that it's not the worst".

I shrug with a laugh which Cappie returns, a genuine one which gives me hope. Hope that he won't hate me forever.

"Okay I'll come over there tonight, I'll text you", He nods with a sigh and turns to go back out the windowed doors that weren't exactly meant to be used as a front door.

"Cap, the doors open", I say, referring to the front door downstairs.

"I appreciate you leaving the door open for me Case. I'm sorry about the past few months but I'm not gonna leave you. I promise", He turns around.

"I- I meant the front door is open", I say awkwardly.

He gives me a look, like he's cringing inside.

"Right…", He laughs slightly before moving to go out into the hallway.

"Cap!", I call to him to stop him from leaving. He'd taken this better than I thought and I wanted to make things up to him, I wanted him to forgive me.

He turns around, waiting for me to speak but instead I walk over to him quickly and lean up on my tippy toes to hug him.

I take him by surprise at first but after a few seconds I feel his stance soften and his arms slowly wrap around me. I sigh at the mere feel of this again, at his scent, his breath on me. It feels odd, my small bump against him, it was so obvious between us and I could tell he felt it against him too.

"Thank you", I say softly against his chest. "And I'm sorry".

His hand runs through my hair and then we part from hugging.

He gives me a small nod, probably not yet ready to forgive me. Probably also partly in a state of shock, not in a million years having thought he was going to show up at ZBZ today and leave a father.

"I'll see you soon", Is all he says with a nod and then leaves down the hall.