"Having perfected our disguise, we spend our lives searching for someone we don't fool."
- Robert Brault
Betrayal only begets more of the same. For better or worse, it has no justification. The reason simply amounts to one's subjective sense of rightness. If someone had murdered Kaede with the joy she witnessed in Koga's ruthless assault, a hole in the ground should be their final resting place. Kikyo pulls the reins of her horse, contemplating whether or not to return to the castle, to Kagewaki's faith in her, knowing she's delivered his vengeance to Sesshomaru.
Knowing she had not hesitated to do so.
With a single decision, she has aligned herself with both of the reasons he is unable to experience peace. There isn't a smile bright enough to eradicate grief's darkness. It only hides itself away for a time. Despite this, she cannot grasp a feeling of guilt. Her sense of rightness is much stronger.
She keeps riding, approaching the stables to find Kagewaki and Sayo waiting. For a moment, her guilt gains the upper hand at the sight of Sayo sprinting towards her, face awash with relief. Relief for a woman who spared the demon that killed her father.
Hitoshi materializes from wherever he is just before being in the right place. The dark shadow enveloping Kagewaki dissipates when he sees her. Kikyo comes down from her horse, wary of getting close to them. It feels like a lie trying to make itself true.
"I feared the worst," Kagewaki speaks, barely audible. "If you had been hurt in my charge, I–"
Kikyo brushes his forearm, finding her words, but his eyes bore down into hers.
"What happened?" He scans her from head to toe as if looking for a scrape or bruise that will answer his question.
The search party he'd sent for her rides in. She prays they didn't see anything. Kagewaki walks over to them, declaring Kikyo's safety and thanking them for their service. She keeps her eyes trained on them as Sayo comes to stand by her side.
Untying the basket of herbs from her horse along with her bow and arrows, Kikyo waves Kagewaki back.
"My Lord, the ninja," she says. His cheeks and nose flush, remembering his men.
"What kind of lord forgets his own men?" He berates himself. His brain had emptied of every thought except her wellbeing. Only now do his wits return.
He escorts her back to the infirmary, leaving Sayo in Hitoshi's care. The last thing he wants her to see are men laid up like Takeshi had been as he was dying. He studies Kikyo as they walk to the infirmary. By his analysis, she doesn't appear the least bit shaken up about anything. Sighing deeply, he says a silent prayer of thanks. Kikyo glances at him, but her mind's too busy crafting a story to satisfy him. Hitoshi can't bear the burden this time.
The medical team guides her back into the room quickly. Kikyo washes her hands again, scrubbing away Koga's blood dried up in the lines of her palm. After washing the herbs, she places them in a bowl and grinds them, the scent floating up to her nose. A bright green paste forms and she slathers it all over the surface of the mortar to make sure every leaf and stem is liquified. Kagewaki looks over her shoulder to observe her work, seemingly unable to stray too far from her.
"My Lord, I am alright," she assures him, adding more water to the paste she creates. Amplifying the ointment with her spiritual power, she watches it glow.
There is no tax on her energy, nor had there been when she took down Koga. She can't describe existing in this new body as easy, but for now, the souls inside her feel at home, as if they support her mission to effect some good in this world.
Realizing his closeness puts color on Kagewaki's cheeks. He stutters an apology and moves out of the way, migrating back towards the door. The gentle smoothness he usually carries himself with totally eludes him now. Kikyo instructs the medical team on what to do with the herbs and they mobilize with confidence, a testament to their training.
"Let them smell the ointment before you apply it. It will relax them." She watches the ninja breathe in the yomogi, many of them opening their eyes and exhaling its freshness.
Kagewaki smiles for the first time since her return. He catches her attention,
calling her outside of the room once she's done checking how each of the injured responds. A weight settles in chest, making her acutely aware of the feeling of her collarbone, the air funneling up her throat. Her purpose in this castle clarifies itself anew. It is not just this lie or Hitoshi's lie. It is all a lie, a deliberate seduction to bend Kagewaki's will into the shape of her own.
"My Lord, thank you for searching for me." She speaks first so that she doesn't falter on any word. "I am unworthy of your care. I thought I sensed danger so I instructed Sayo to return for her safety. As you can see, I am fine."
He checks her out again, soothed by her words. Kikyo casually wipes her hands down her sides, drying her sweaty palms.
"I won't tell you that you should have come back with her," he says. "I know you don't carry a bow and arrow for decoration and that you can handle yourself." Kikyo suspects he wants to say more on the matter, but he changes the subject. "My father will be here soon. A great banquet awaits us tonight and you'll be late for your fitting."
She blinks, not understanding. Kagewaki doesn't explain. He leads her to a room active with female staff who set their eyes on her, elated to make her the prey of their pins and needles.
"My father is rather ostentatious, so we shall all dress in our finest to celebrate his return." He backs away, sliding the door shut as he leaves. "Have fun, Lady Kikyo."
Kikyo doesn't have the chance to speak before every color she's ever laid eyes on is pushed against her skin and more hands than she can count assess the quality of her hair. Her punishment for omitting the truth, she thinks.
Inuyasha and Kagome have run off to that well that vomited her out of the future. The girl swears she'll be quick on the other side, determined to provide Inuyasha with something he needs for his training.
It is said she is Kikyo's reincarnation. Sesshomaru supposes it's true given their spiritual power and apparent fate to encounter Inuyasha, but he chooses to focus on their differences. Waiting on them makes him wish he'd grabbed Inuyasha by the scruff and taken off with him. He wanders around the village. A few people stare but he doesn't make eye contact.
Eventually, he stops outside of a shrine. Kikyo's scent possesses the area. Her grave is well taken care of. The sight of it offends him, having felt her in his own hand.
Tenseiga hums. It pulls away from him when he draws it, planting upright into the ground. The blade transforms to a saber of light that shoots straight up into the sky. Sesshomaru looks around, noticing people in the distance pointing at the light. He frees Tenseiga from the ground and the light fades once he takes hold of it again. He quickly sheathes it, but it continues to sing.
He kneels at Kikyo's grave, patting down the soil that Tenseiga disturbed. Inuyasha and Kagome's voices cut in, interrupting his assessment of what just occurred. He heads their way, not giving them a chance to lollygag any further.
At the well, Kagome helps Inuyasha load a yellow parcel onto his back. He bends his knees trying not to fall over. Sesshomaru watches them again.
"Why'd you have to bring so much junk anyway? I'll be back before night." Inuyasha teeters back and forth. Sweat drips down the side of his face. "I don't think me or Sesshomaru can last around each other any longer than that."
"Oh, hush," Kagome says, loading even more things into the small pockets of the bag. "This is an important moment for you two. I'm sure your dad's soul will be really happy to know you're there under better circumstances this time."
Sesshomaru and Inuyasha scoff in matching tones. When Inuyasha hears him, he turns in his direction.
"Would you quit lurking around like a creep, Sesshomaru?" It's hard for him to turn back around with the bag weighing him down.
Sesshomaru scoffs again, thinking that no one has perfected lurking as well as they have. Up close, the bag is more than ten times the size it was from a distance even with his superior sight. Before he can ask Inuyasha if he seriously intends to bring such a burden, Kagome smacks the side of her neck, flattening Myoga in her hand.
"Greetings, Masters," Myoga squeaks, inflating himself. "I understand you wish to go to Lord Toga's gravesite but I regret to inform you that the black pearl will be of little use now."
With great effort, Inuyasha's hand goes up to his right eye. Myoga explains that the pearl's usefulness ended once Inuyasha claimed Tessaiga. It is now no more than simply a part of his eye.
"Which is why I brought this." Sesshomaru narrows his eyes at Myoga, pleased that he doesn't know everything. He had wondered about the black pearl, so he consulted his mother. Reaching inside his sleeve, he pulls out a necklace. "The Meido Stone will take us there."
Myoga sputters, going on about this not being the purpose of the Meido Stone. All three of them ignore him. Sesshomaru puts the stone on the ground, commanding it to awaken. He looks at Inuyasha who gives Kagome one last assured smile. Sesshomaru steps into the light that emanates from the stone. It twists around like a whirlpool turned on its side. He lets it envelop him until he disappears. Inuyasha follows, his form vanishing in a blink. The stone dims until it, too, fades away.
The misty, white world of the afterlife reaches out of the darkness, welcoming them. Inuyasha's welcome is far from warm. There's no surface to land on outside of the vortex, so he's sent spiraling down, the bag on his back aiding his fall. His scream curdles Sesshomaru's blood. He hovers in the air, watching him fall.
"Sesshomaru, you asshole!"
Inuyasha's voice fades away. If Sesshomaru had known his day would go this way, he would have stayed in bed. His hopeless half-demon brother continues his descent, picking up speed with the pressure of the wind. Inuyasha contemplates abandoning Kagome's backpack. He can't reach the Tessaiga because of it. But he'd rather take his chances avoiding the ground than incur endless 'Sit' commands when he returns.
It becomes clear that Sesshomaru isn't coming and Inuyasha flails against the air as if he can swim his way to solid ground. In the nick of time, a skeletal bird flies to his rescue. He orients himself on the bird's back, neck straining as he tries to sit up with the backpack on. The bird brings him up to where Sesshomaru is.
"You are such a jerk, Sesshomaru! How the hell could you let me fall like that?"
Inuyasha turns to grab Tessaiga, but all meaningful movement is out of the question until he can part with the backpack. There'd better be the feast of my life inside this damned bag, he thinks.
"Are you done playing, Inuyasha? Then let's go." Sesshomaru takes off in the direction of their father. Inuyasha's brain is unable to contain the number of ways he thinks of killing him.
The traces of Toga that remain at the castle do not compare to his resting place. In the presence of his bones, Sesshomaru is confronted with the bigness of him that still looms in the waking world. The legend of the greatest demon is not so easily dismissed. More than that, Sesshomaru sees his father and the lack of understanding between them, the little time that was left to rectify that.
He looks at Inuyasha who's got the same wonder in his eyes as when they battled for Tessaiga, when he likened them to fleas on their father's back. It is a comparison Sesshomaru has tried to forget. They land inside of Toga's mouth, countless skulls serving as the floor. Inuyasha is quick to draw Tessaiga, the remaining parts of Sesshomaru's body ripe for the cutting.
"You think I'm gonna let you slide after that?" In all of his battles, some path to victory eventually presented itself, but free falling in the air was no more than pure, eventual death. "Draw your sword, Sesshomaru, and let's get at it."
How pedestrian, Sesshomaru thinks.
"Have you forgotten why we're here?" Sesshomaru flexes his hand, cracking his knuckles. "Cast Tessaiga aside and set free the demon blood within you."
"It's your funeral." Inuyasha chucks Tessaiga across the room and attacks.
He slashes his claws at Sesshomaru who pivots to the side, unscathed. Inuyasha wants to know how he's able to move quick enough to blur himself out of sight. His broken concentration costs him. Bending his arm, Sesshomaru rams his elbow into Inuyasha's nose. Despite the blood streaming out of Inuyasha's face, he laughs. Sesshomaru draws Tokijin and levies against him the same attack that he suffered from Kaijinbo. Energy blasts out of the sword, shredding Inuyasha to pieces.
The impact sends him flying until he lands on his back. He doesn't recall Kaijinbo's attack having so much power behind it, but he knows he isn't fighting Kaijinbo. Under no circumstance would he ever tell Sesshomaru this, but it is he who inspired him to become a full demon, to possess the kind of power that meant he would never have to run for his life again. And the feeling to run becomes increasingly potent, the feeling that if Sesshomaru would let him fall, he would just as easily let him die.
For a moment, Inuyasha's eyes flash red, but he shakes it away. Even if he is to remain a half-demon, he sees no value in trading that limitation for the fate of a thoughtless beast. Sesshomaru sniffs the air, the scent of a full demon insists, but Inuyasha suppresses it.
"Hmm," Sesshomaru slides Tokijin's tip over one of the skulls on the floor, "it would seem you've learned something from the last time."
With that being said, he discards his own swords, beckoning Inuyasha to come at him. Inuyasha obliges, flinging his blood at him in the form of blades. Sesshomaru dodges each one. In an instant, he's face to face with Inuyasha. He'd be lying if he said he didn't relish the panic on his face. With the slightest pressure of his palm, he sends Inuyasha reeling back again, hitting the wall with a bone-breaking crack.
"And with that, I believe we've earned ourselves a rest." Sesshomaru leaves, flying up to sit on one of Toga's shoulders.
Inuyasha's knees buckle as he comes up off the floor. The thought of not being able to remain himself without Tessaiga comes out of hiding from his fractured memories of fighting Kaijinbo. He's grateful that fear hasn't wormed its way into his heart. All he can do is have faith in his training.
He looks at the backpack, groaning at the thought of carrying it again. He holds it with one hand to avoid getting blood on it. Somehow, he manages his way up to join Sesshomaru. He sits beside him, but far enough away to corroborate the fact that they aren't by any means close.
Sesshomaru watches him rummage through the bag. After reaching down into what he can only describe as a bottomless pit, Inuyasha produces two large bottles. He extends one to Sesshomaru.
"Here." He avoids eye contact at all costs. "Kagome packed two of everything. It's water."
Accepting water shouldn't feel like some kind of defeat, but it does. However, Sesshomaru is still reconciling with the fact that he even offered to train him in the first place. It seems like a way to understand their father.
He snatches the bottle, examining it. Inuyasha twists the top until it comes off, so Sesshomaru secures the bottle in his lap and does the same. He thinks of Kaito who'd probably relinquish all of his territory in exchange for something inside the yellow bag.
The water is far cleaner than any he's ever had but the bottle feels unnatural and its smell competes with the taste of the water.
"Are you absolutely certain this is water?" Sesshomaru asks, taking another tentative sip.
"Well yeah," Inuyasha drinks so fast, the water trickles out of his mouth and down his neck. "Tastes good, huh? Kagome calls it 'filtered.'"
Sesshomaru looks at the bag, wondering what else is inside of it. He squeezes the bottle, trying to determine what it could be made of. Inuyasha starts pulling things out and sliding them over to him. The excitement lighting up his face is not lost on Sesshomaru. He just doesn't know what to make of it.
Inuyasha opens a bag of something with a scent that Sesshomaru can't and doesn't want to figure out. Its sourness is so pungent, it brings on the feeling of illness.
"Sesshomaru," Inuyasha says, gnawing on the bag's crispy contents, "next time, don't go easy on me."
Inuyasha unpacks a box of food next, and Sesshomaru is relieved to recognize rice and vegetables. Inuyasha breaks a pair of chopsticks apart and hands them to him.
"Eat all of it," Sesshomaru tells him, refusing anything other than water. "If I'm not going easy on you, you'll need it, half-demon that you are."
Inuyasha thinks that Sesshomaru can't help himself. He just had to say it.
Kikyo is toppled by a mountain of silk. She's unsure of what to do with the infinite robes. The attendants assure her that she need only pick the colors she wants to wear and they will dress her. Her eyes brighten at the possibilities. She quiets the pang of guilt that refers to such things as frivolous. Wearing a fine dress won't stop the world from turning.
Sayo pokes her head into the room. The ladies turn her away as respectfully as possible, but Kikyo insists on her presence.
"I'm so glad you're here, Sayo." Kikyo starts selecting her robes, showing them off to her. "Would you like to get ready with me?"
Sayo storms into the room and appraises what Kikyo's picked out.
"Pink will be so pretty on you, Lady Kikyo! Don't forget your kosode." Her little giggles elicit a smile from everyone in the room. Sayo plucks an undergarment of plain, white silk and adds it to the pile that Kikyo carries. "My mother sent rouge and other cosmetics so we can adorn our faces too."
Kikyo remembers her first time wearing the rouge Inuyasha had given her, the way it warmed her complexion and amplified her dark features. In this moment, the need to prove her femininity doesn't exist. In her last life, the most absentminded comment could make her question it, driving her to hyperawareness of her scent or pallor. She laughs at how serious it had all been to her once.
In truth, there is no garment or coloring that can make her feel seen. She touches her cheek and Sesshomaru is still there. With him, she'd worn nothing at all and yet, the feeling of being a woman had never seemed stronger. Her thoughts drift to him and his growing empire, the men in his service. He hadn't been shy admitting that he had no need for humans. The reason for their twin evolution taunts her in his absence.
Perishing the thought, she gathers another armful of robes and presents them to the attendants. They smile and take them away from her. Sayo uses only a fraction of the time to pick out her clothing before turning to Kikyo with a big moon-grin on her face.
"Lady Kikyo, let's take a bath," she says, whisking them both out of the room.
Kikyo ties up her hair to avoid getting it wet. The water is piping hot but she and Sayo slink into the giant wooden basin sharing a contented sigh. Herbs and salt enrich the water. Kikyo takes in the revitalizing scent. She tilts her head back, thoughts of her and Sesshomaru at her grotto intruding again. She glances at Sayo who also seems to be in her own world, face rosy from the hot water.
So Kikyo closes her eyes and lets him intrude.
Normally, he is a thought to push down. It's not as if she's short on other things to focus on. Her logical mind blares that men are nothing but trouble as evidenced by the very war she works to avoid. Still, Sesshomaru persists, wrenching her loyalty away to his side.
She chastises herself for asking Jaken to tell him she said hello, thinking she must have sounded so desperate. After all, Sesshomaru had pulled away from her the last time they met. Blatantly, he'd ignored her request for him to wait, to ask him if he also felt the room go quiet and the air grow still between them. She sinks deeper into the water. It appears there's no use pushing down the curiosity that draws them to each other.
"Lady Kikyo?" Sayo's voice startles Kikyo out of her thoughts, but the girl doesn't notice. "Am I a bad person for hoping that my grandfather doesn't come back?"
Kikyo sits up straight to look at her, but Sayo remains still, staring ahead at nothing. Considering what Hitoshi said about Nagasaki, it's unsurprising that his hatefulness has pushed his own grandchild away.
"It's not like I want him to die or anything," Sayo says with frantic clarity. "It's just that Mother moved us to the country when my father died. She doesn't like grandfather very much."
The honesty of children is an unkindness, Kikyo thinks. Their tiny bodies aren't equipped to handle being filled with so much of it. They lack the protection that lying to yourself provides. Kikyo sees her own pain in the knotted up threads of Sayo's sorrowful truth.
"The nature of being alive is feeling many things." Kikyo looks up, noticing wispy clouds consumed by fuller ones and unusual hues creeping in to challenge the notion of a blue sky.
"We put countless expectations on ourselves and others to feel a certain way, but it is rare that we ever align. Sometimes our feelings are born out of expectation, or from our triumphs and hardships. They're even affected by the time of day. Do not think you are bad for how you feel, Sayo. It is impossible to do anything else."
She hopes her advice hasn't gone over the girl's head. It is something she doesn't give herself permission to do nearly enough, but Sayo surprises her with a fierce embrace. Kikyo takes in a sharp breath before wrapping her arms around her.
Another day—more bloody, sweaty robes. Sesshomaru returns to the West smelling like demon Inuyasha, half-demon Inuyasha, half-demon Inuyasha with a hint of that insufferable girl. It's all too much and when his feet hit the ground, the urge to succumb to the very undignified act of collapsing overwhelms him.
During these times, he knows his mother is watching from on high, so he walks to his front door like a grown demon lord is supposed to. He will return the Meido Stone to her tomorrow, or next week, or after he puts it away and remembers it months later.
Beyond the shadow of a doubt, the one thing he knows is he's tired. Fatigue has been his rather constant companion lately along with headaches and the need for thorough baths that continue getting interrupted.
So this is power—not a single moment of peace.
He enters the castle, the feeling of being home washing over him. Consolation, at the very least. The War Room, named by Jaken, and where he is supposed to reconvene with Jaken and the samurai, is empty. So help him if they've managed to get themselves killed, they'll just have to stay dead, Sesshomaru thinks. He sits down on a bench carved into the wall and closes his eyes. At that very second, he hears Jaken.
"Lord Sesshomaruuu, are you in here, Master?"
Sesshomaru sits up straight, exhaling some of his fatigue. He doesn't answer as four sets of footsteps approach. They burst into the room like they expect to find someone who shouldn't be there.
"Lord Sesshomaru!" Jaken calls to him like he's a bucket of water at the end of a drought. "How did things fare with Inuyasha?"
"Never mind that." Sesshomaru glances over them. They look unscathed enough. "What of Koga?"
Jaken and the samurai look at each other. Tenichi talks with his hands so when Sesshomaru sees them fly up, he is tempted to slouch, feeling like he might as well get comfortable.
"My Lord, I fear you may have missed the most excellent display of archery ever witnessed."
Sesshomaru raises a brow at the mention of archery. He relaxes his shoulders, spine nevertheless straight.
"Quiet, fool!" Jaken screams at Tenichi. Sesshomaru jabs his pinky finger into his ear, swirling it around. "I want to tell the story!"
Tenichi relents with extreme disappointment. Goichi and Souichi glare at Jaken to go ahead and tell the story if he's going to tell it. Sesshomaru almost doesn't care what happened at this point, but he would be lying if a certain woman didn't come to mind. Jaken clears his throat with much aplomb.
"My Lord, there we were in the East," he starts out. Sesshomaru presses his palm to his forehead and hangs his head. This won't end any time soon. The bench will be his bed tonight and he'll take a bath in the morning. He nods to himself as Jaken continues to regale him.
"That idiotic wolf cub, Koga, wouldn't listen to a word we said and that impertinent whelp attacked us, Master!"
Sesshomaru realizes Jaken's other skill is the amount of insults he's able to fit in one sentence.
"But a priestess rode in on a horse and shot him down!" Goichi steals Jaken's thunder and blatantly ignores his death stare.
Jaken aims his staff at him but Sesshomaru cuts in.
"A priestess?" he asks, lifting his head.
"My Lady, Kikyo!" Jaken confirms.
Sesshomaru's fatigue is eradicated so quickly his head swims. He crosses his legs and leans back, curious of the finer details and intrigued by Kikyo's current whereabouts. The actual reason he sent them East also springs to mind.
"Is Koga still alive?" A part of him believes that Koga absolutely is not.
"Yes," they all grumble.
"My Lady spared him. He also uses the power of the sacred jewel to heighten his abilities," Jaken explains, daring anyone to interrupt. Sesshomaru feels it in his body each time Jaken says "My Lady," but he is unable to pinpoint where. "She instructed him to get on with your agenda or else."
Energy surges through Sesshomaru, hearing this. He stands, mildly pacing the room. Confirming his inevitable meeting with Koga was his first order of business for the day, but the success brings little satisfaction compared to hearing of Kikyo's latest feats on the battlefield. Jaken watches him closely. He feels his eyes on him but he allows himself a few more moments inside his own mind.
"So she's in the East?" he questions himself aloud.
Where exactly?
For how long?
The inquiries sit on the tip of his tongue, but to what end would he even ask?
"Yes," Jaken answers, not realizing the question wasn't intended for ears to hear. "For what reason, she did not say."
Souichi folds his arms, rubbing his chin. His inexcitable demeanor is well-noted, but Sesshomaru senses more in the detachment he's had since they came back.
"What do you know?" Sesshomaru looks directly into his blue-black eyes. Souichi frowns, relaxing his arms at his sides.
"The priestess's horse—it was blanketed with the crest of our former Lord."
Spit flies out of Jaken's mouth at learning this. He lobs his own questions at Souichi with Goichi and Tenichi's help. Sesshomaru leans against an in-built shelf of scrolls and tomes, taking in what he's learned. The dead grudge between the East and West sprouts up from memories before his father's demise, but what would she know of it?
"What should we do with this information, milord?" Jaken swings his staff at Goichi, not forgetting being interrupted. Goichi snatches it, making him lose his balance.
Sesshomaru closes his eyes, first thinking of the toll Kikyo's power takes on her revived body. He trusts that if she were not well, Jaken would say something, so he quiets his mind.
"Err, milord?" Jaken and the samurai blink at him.
"It's irrelevant," Sesshomaru says. "Let her be."
Jaken hears him speak but without the conviction he is used to. Still, he nods, wrangling the samurai towards the door.
"Come along!" He bosses them around. "Let us leave Lord Sesshomaru to his thoughts."
Sesshomaru cuts his eyes at him. Did he not just say the matter was irrelevant? What is there to think about? But Jaken keeps his attention on their exit.
When they slide the door closed, Sesshomaru leans deeper into the shelf. Perhaps Jaken was right given his inability to pivot his attention away from Kikyo. However, being left to his thoughts doesn't produce any answers. There could exist many reasons why she now resides in the East, but he only requires one. The truth spoken from her own lips is all that interests him.
He thinks a change of clothes is in order. Sleep can wait.
Kikyo sits in her robes, caught between two attendants with violently different opinions on how to decorate her face. Hunting demons has nothing on the battle taking place in front of her. Sayo sits across the room, watching the scene, tickled by the ladies' exasperation with each other.
"Less is more, Ayaka." The maiden, Tomiko, snatches a tin of kohl from the other, Ayaka. "Her eyes are beautiful enough."
"And because her eyes are so beautiful, we want to enhance them." Ayaka reclaims the tin, scanning the table for the perfect brush to use.
Their bickering rages on and Kikyo tilts her head away from them to silently plead with Sayo for help. Sayo holds up one of her thumbs and stands.
"Have you two no shame?" Her voice carries and Kikyo watches her posture transform to that of a bonafide princess. "Lady Kikyo is our guest. Please leave us. I shall tend to her myself."
A brush rolls off the table, sounding off when it hits the floor. Ayaka and Tomiko's faces turn a ripe tomato-red. They give Sayo a quick bow and leave. When they're gone, Sayo breaks out into high-pitched laughter.
"I sounded just like Mother!" She covers her mouth to quiet herself.
Kikyo shakes her head at Sayo, looking at the cosmetics covering the table. Sayo organizes them and picks up the tin of kohl.
"I do Mother's face all the time, so you can trust me." She selects a brush. "A little kohl won't hurt around your lashes. And since you're wearing so much pink, this soft shade on your lips will pair well."
She steps back to look at Kikyo's hair and her eyes shine.
"You have such beautiful hair too, Lady Kikyo. I'll put half of it up and the other half can stay down. You're going to look amazing!"
Kikyo's excitement returns with Sayo's confidence. She looks at herself in a hand mirror and sees the woman that she keeps inside shining through. For the first time in too long and without the torment of her memories, she allows herself to smile at that woman.
"Work quickly, Sayo." She puts the mirror down on the table and closes her eyes so Sayo can get started. "We'll have to join everyone soon."
Sayo finishes with hardly any time to spare and they mad-dash to the receiving line. A lengthy procession approaches, guiding Nagasaki to the castle's main entrance. Kagewaki forgets how to use his mouth when he sees Kikyo. Sayo leads her to their places in line, proud of her work.
"Well, don't you two look lovely?" Hitoshi tips his head at them. He slaps Kagewaki's arm, making him close his mouth.
"Yes," Kagewaki agrees, eyes lingering on Kikyo. He clears his throat and looks back at the procession. "You both look great."
Sayo holds out her fist, bumping it against Kikyo's. The procession drags on longer than Kikyo could ever have thought possible. Men beating drums and singing an anthem lead the way, followed by a small army of guards. Kikyo feels Kagewaki's discomfort. No one on the outside would be able to tell he's actually the daimyo.
Nagasaki's carriage finally reaches them. He steps out, wafting his hand back and forth in the most peculiar wave. The applause is deafening, everyone except the four of them joining in. Their line breaks into two, shifting to either side to clear the path to the castle's entrance. Nagasaki brushes through without even acknowledging Kagewaki on his right or Sayo on his left.
Kikyo stands behind Sayo, committing Nagasaki's profile to memory. Evil intent pours out of him, a heart capable of attracting true devils. Once all of his party enters the castle, everyone follows behind from both sides starting with Kagewaki and Sayo. Kikyo comes side by side with Hitoshi who loops an arm around hers.
"Insatiable wretch," he whispers without turning to her.
"I sense a great evil in him," Kikyo nods, also looking ahead.
"And there is no doubt that you would even without your power."
They find their places in the dining hall where food and drink flow without end. Dinner has barely commenced, but Kikyo spots more than a few men swishing about, drunken sweat glistening on their foreheads. At the center of the room, they sit, Kikyo switching places with Sayo to be next to Kagewaki. She watches him, his gaze directed at his empty tray of food. Hitoshi leans forward, concerned for him as well.
"Are you all right?" she asks, sharing a look with Hitoshi.
"No," Kagewaki answers, balling his fists.
It is her nature to fix things but Hitoshi shakes his head as Nagasaki approaches. His cheekbones are inhumanly sharp and sunken in. They angle down to his wide jaw. There's hardly any hair left on his head, but what little he has is pulled up in a top-knot. His eyes are barren, unable to catch any of the light illuminating the room. He casts their coldness down at Kikyo.
"Is this the spiritual advisor?" His tone is mocking, but Kikyo matches his cold look. "I must admit the shogun and I had quite a laugh when the news reached me."
Kagewaki finally looks up, the anger coming from him makes Kikyo speak.
"Oh?" she says. "Would you mind telling us what was so funny, my Lord?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Nagasaki takes a swig from his cup of sake. Some of it drips onto the floor. "You're far too beautiful to be a holy woman. Kagewaki, there is no shame in wanting a concubine. Spare us the euphemisms."
Kikyo can't even describe the noise that comes out of her mouth, something between a scoff and the most incredulous laughter. Kagewaki stands up so quickly, his tray tips over. The grin on Nagasaki's face is unwavering. Hitoshi is unable to speak. Nagasaki's nastiness is usually more covert. He takes Sayo's hand, seeing her eyes begin to well up.
"Father, apologize to Lady Kikyo." Kagewaki tightens his fists. Three guards come over, encircling him and Nagasaki.
"Sit down, boy, before I send you to your room." Nagasaki's provocation lacks any shame, drawing attention all around but no one dares to speak.
Kikyo chuckles, rising to her feet. The only recourse is to remove herself from this weak little man's presence. It isn't worth her peace. Kagewaki reaches for her.
"It is alright." She bows, but Hitoshi recognizes the look on her face. He won't soon forget it. "Please excuse me."
She heads to her room with a oneness of mind, blocking out her surroundings until she passes a man and woman lingering in the hallway. Kikyo averts her eyes from their closeness, slipping into her room. The sound of the party bounces off the walls. Slinging her quiver over her shoulder and taking her bow, she sets off for the gardens. The last thing she needs is another unexpected visit from Naraku.
The gardens are overrun with people who've also escaped the party inside. A disgust for others begins to set in, all of the cheers and fake smiles for Nagasaki amounting to no more than cheap theatre. She disappears into the forest, unseen.
Her coat and train drag behind her, several feet long. Reaching a grassy clearing, she raises a hand up and calls her soul collectors to her side. They snake over the treetops and down the trunks to get to her, their bodies shining bright. The forest comes into view with their glow.
Men like Nagasaki make it hard to want to save people, to assume the responsibility of peering into the darkness of man undeterred. Back then, she'd asked Kaede to bear Onigumo no grudge, but was that the right thing? She had told Sayo that it is human to feel, but is there a right way? She gazes up for her answers but there are only enigmatic stars.
Sesshomaru shoots across the night sky, leaving a glittering arc of magic in his wake as he journeys East. Once again, he has not hesitated to act where she is concerned. Despite his words, letting her be isn't a viable option. His hand itches with the sensation of her the closer he gets.
In the distance, the Hitomi castle is lit up, transitioning in and out of different shades of yellow, orange and red. He nearly misses the light down below him. He lands in the space between two interminably tall cedar trees. A soft breeze floats through, carrying her unmistakable scent.
Kikyo lets her soul collectors curl around her arms and chase each other in circles around her waist. For a moment, her mood lifts, but the feeling of his demonic aura makes her head snap up. A panic explodes in her belly and she runs in his direction, her train sliding roughly over the dead branches on the forest's floor.
Sesshomaru hears her footsteps. He keeps his pace leisurely, perturbed by his rapid heartbeat. A soul collector zips ahead and flies over his shoulder, coming back around over his other shoulder. When Kikyo and the rest of her soul collectors catch up, she stops at the sight of him. Two of her soul collectors hover overhead to provide light for them. One remains close, shining from behind her.
Nothing could have prepared him to see her like this, every inch of her decked out in the finest regalia. She's dressed in twelve robes by his count, each one layered atop the other in sharp folds and ornate precision. A distraction in pink silk. He feels himself eroding. Half of her hair is up, shaped in perfect rosettes, camellia hairpins on either side of her head.
Neither of them speak or move. Eventually, he notices her tight fists. She looks back towards the castle.
"What are you doing here?" Kikyo asks, trying to relax the wrinkle between her brows. She already knows he can sense her heartbeat, that he can sniff out her unease.
He could if his attention wasn't on her face now. Her eyes are lined in black with a shimmer on the lids, lashes fanning out. Sesshomaru can hardly feel the ground under his feet.
She worries for her plan, seeing it all burn down in her mind's eye. He closes his eyes to gather himself. He's come for a reason.
"It appears you've allied yourself with my father's enemies." He recalls accusing her of waiting for the opportunity to strike him down.
Then why did she save Jaken?
Why doesn't he believe it's her intention?
"It's not what you think." She looks back again, unsure of how to explain. The sound of instruments pounding and blaring reaches into the forest. "You don't understand."
"That's why I've come," he tells her, "to understand." It takes too much effort to speak to her. She smells like peaches and vanilla.
Her quiver slides off her shoulder, falling to the ground. Mercifully, it resharpens his focus.
"The daimyo is fearful of your expansion." She watches him carefully, no way to soften her next revelation. "He aims to go to war with you."
Sesshomaru just nods. Grudges aren't so easily discarded. He has no qualms finishing what his father did not. He walks past her to the castle. Kikyo grabs his hand and he stops from the familiar feeling of being placed under a spell. Tenseiga stirs.
"Wait," she says, hardly able to hear herself. This isn't how she wanted to tell him. This isn't how she wanted their next meeting to go.
He continues to wait, having failed to when they were at her grotto. He doesn't move his hand, just turns his head to look down at her. The light of the soul collectors casts a blue tint in the whites of her eyes. Kikyo drops her bow. His skin is smooth, not like a man unused to work or conflict, but like one who has never needed to exact so much as an ounce of his power to defeat his enemies.
But he isn't a man. Her resistance wouldn't be so loud if he were.
"My goal is to deter him." She lets him go and he turns around to face her. "Koga killed his brother and he thinks you are building up the West to threaten humans on a larger scale."
Sesshomaru scoffs. It's the same self-absorbed line of thinking his father had to combat. Humans think everything revolves around them despite not living long enough for anyone to care.
"Why have you put yourself in the middle of this?" It isn't lost on him that she tends to carry the weight of the world. "If your goal is to deter him, why didn't you kill Koga when you had the chance?"
It's the part she hasn't wanted to accept. Sesshomaru watches her implacability falter, realizing it's because of him, his alliance with Koga. This time, she turns her back on him. He focuses on the rest of her hair flowing down her back.
Her fists shake. She can't stand as straight as she's used to despite the robes snatching her waist. She buckles beneath the truth.
"I don't know why, but I want absolutely no harm to befall you, Sesshomaru."
At some point, things had stopped being so black and white. There is no one side—humans or demons. Good and evil dwell equally in both. It's not so much her plan burning down as it is her worldview.
"I feel the same way you do," Kikyo confesses, sighing at herself. "You want better for demonkind just as I do for humans. But if we weren't so insistent on one or the other, perhaps we'd have what we seek. Is coexistence so impossible?
"Coexistence, huh?" Sesshomaru recalls his discussion with Jaken. She turns around again.
"Surely you've come to realize it given the samurai in your service." It isn't easy knowing that Kagewaki and his house are the ones on the wrong side of this dilemma, but it relieves her that Sesshomaru isn't.
Sesshomaru can't argue with her. The only part of himself that wants to is the part that's been convinced humans are nothing but trouble. So what does that make her?
"I'm not as benevolent as you seem to think. And this is the second time you've protected my enemy." He exhales when she parts her lips.
"Are you going to let me get away with it?" She wants to believe he will. Tallying up all of their encounters so far, she wants to believe there is some trust between them. "Kagewaki thinks you're bent on destruction, but that isn't what I see."
"And what is it that you see, Kikyo?"
Her lashes flutter at her name in his mouth. They notice the limited space between them as if drawn by some force outside of themselves. Kikyo's resistance threatens to activate, telling her to focus on the mission she's undertaken. But what of this pull to him?
Their eyes meet. Her pupils are so wide, he can't see all of the shades of brown he was able to count the last time. She is beautiful to the point of pain. It's a simple observation anyone would make, but when had he succumbed to such a powerful bewitching?
The pull magnifies, both of them grappling with their expanding points of view. His question hangs in the air. There's a logical answer to it, she thinks, one that is mission-focused, that ignores the fact that he is no longer a thought to be pushed down. He hasn't been for some time, yet she holds back. The resistance wins, holding her back a hundred steps for every one she allows herself to take.
"Do you remember what you asked me at Kaito's manor?" Kikyo taps her soul collector on the nose and it slithers up.
He notices that she's dodged his question with one of her own. Sesshomaru parses through their conversation from that time, remembering all of it.
"So you support my ambitions, do you?" he asks, perfectly echoing himself.
Kikyo smiles, extending her hand to him.
"I do." Her answer is the truth he's come all this way for. "If you go on about your business in the West, I will ensure you encounter no interference from the East. All I ask is that no undue harm comes to any humans."
"Coexistence." Sesshomaru grasps her hand as he has many times before, but it isn't the same.
The chasm between them is obliterated.
"Coexistence." Kikyo shakes his hand, a glimpse of the world they wish to occupy.
She looks him in the eyes to peer into his soul.
All she sees is her reflection.