You've got no place to hide
And I'm feeling like a villain, got a hunger inside
One look in my eyes
And you're running 'cause I'm coming
Gonna eat you alive
Your heart hits like a drum
The chase has just begun
Monsters stuck in your head
Monsters under your bed
We are monsters, oh, oh
We are monsters, oh
One misstep, you're mine
And you better stay clever if you wanna survive
Once you cross the line
You'll be wishing you would listen
When you meet your demise
Your heart hits like a drum
The hunt has just begun
Monsters by Ruelle
WARNING: Torture and sexual assault
With my wand raised, I stepped into that cursed bedroom like an avenger, firing curse after curse at enemies without heeding my protection. Sparks flew as the curses clashed against each other. A flash of green light narrowly missed me as I pushed myself behind the dresser to Remus.
"A friend of yours?" the Muggle minister asked, wide-eyed.
"The best by my side in moments like this!" Remus shouted with a laugh as he pointed a full-body bind at the left Death Eater and hit him. He tilted motionless to the side, where his companion immediately freed him from the predicament.
"Why don't you just kill them all?"; the minister asked us. Suddenly, two more Death Eaters appeared in their midst. Apparently, they had also called for reinforcements after meeting Remus and me at this house.
"We don't fight like them. We're the good guys," I shouted and threw a Stinging Hex at the Death Eaters, allowing us a few seconds before they came up with the idea of freezing it.
"We don't have time for that. Otherwise, we'll die ourselves," the minister said, widening his eyes in disbelief, but Remus and I decided to ignore the man with our eye contact.
"Go with the minister into the hallway, his wife is waiting there. The next portkey, a coat rack in the entrance area, goes in... 4 minutes," I said after glancing at my watch. It was still Gideon's shattered glass clock that accompanied me on my way.
"What about you?" Remus asked in shock, but I smiled encouragingly at him.
"I'm going to distract them and just take the next portkey. It's at the end of the aisle. A toilet brush," I said and smiled encouragingly.
"No, you're going to go in my place and—get the minister out of here," Remus began, but at that moment Tonks came running through the door with her wand raised. Unexpectedly, however, she was alone and hurled a few curses at the Death Eaters before discovering us. My best friend's eyes widened; he was filled with concern for the woman for whom his heart was beating. I knew he deserved this life with her. Their chance should not end there and so I made a decision without further ado that seemed inevitable. And no matter what the consequences were, I was ready to face them bravely. Life and death on this battlefield.
"I'm sorry, Remus, but I've made up my mind. And I promise you, I'll comply. The next portkey is close. I'll find it quickly," I shouted to my best friend, who wanted to disagree. But I didn't allow any resistance and stood up with a firm jerk, walked out of our cover, nodded briefly to Tonks, and stood in the middle of the Death Eaters. I heard Remus scream as I fired a few curses at my overwhelming enemy count, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tonks dragging him away, into the hallway, toward the saving portkey.
"It's just a distraction. The Muggle is fleeing!" one of the Death Eaters shouted, trying to chase after my friends, but I caught him with a Diffindo spell, causing him to hold his slashed face with his hands and begin to whimper. But this brief distraction was enough and suddenly a Stupefy hit me as well, which I couldn't fend off in time. And then I tilted to the side, motionless, praying that Remus, Tonks, and the minister and his wife had made it in time. Then some other spell struck me that darkened my vision. It was like falling into a deep black hole... Nothing more that was important to me.
When I became aware of myself again, my motionless body rubbed over a marble floor. The chill of the cold ground sliding along my bare legs had brought me out of my unconsciousness. I tried to activate my limbs, but I only felt such a severe headache that I moaned as I slowly became aware of two Death Eaters dragging me forward by the arms. I tried to move my arms, to defend myself, but I only noticed the filigree silver chain tearing at my neck and then I heard the silver pendant that Severus once gave me fall to the ground. Heliotrope... endless love.
With a clink it disappeared from my hazy world, for I could only dimly see what was happening around me, heard a loud laugh before I felt a blow to my head and slipped away again into a world without experience, without sensations, something beyond what I knew.
"Oh, I love how fast her heart beats. It smells delicious. I would love to-" I heard a voice in my ear and felt a kind of tongue run down my cheek.
"Hold back, Greyback. She's all mine. I still have a score to settle with her former lover." His voice sounded nasty and I recognized it immediately. Antonin Dolohov.
"The Dark Lord won't like the fact that we didn't succeed last night. So far, no one has dared to tell him. This one, perhaps, will cool his mind," I heard an equally familiar voice. It had to be Mulciber.
"It will probably cool my own desire for revenge," Dolohov replied as I slowly tried to lift my eyelids, but even that seemed too difficult, like a task from another life. "And now everyone get out of here. I want to play with her."
I heard footsteps moving away, in my head I felt everything slowly coming together... The Muggle Minister, Remus and Tonks, the portkey... my failure. I felt shackles on my hands and arms.
But suddenly, an unbelievable pain took hold of my whole body. I heard myself screaming, my body tensed up without me, every fiber was stretched to the extreme, it was something I had never experienced before.
When it stopped as quickly as it began, I collapsed, the shackles cutting heavily into my flesh, but I was too weak to form a counterweight. That must have been it, the pain you experienced when someone cast Crucio on you. I felt the iron-rich taste of blood in my mouth. I must have bitten my tongue, but the pain of the curse still reverberated in my body in such a way that I couldn't assign the pain to any specific parts of my torso.
"Well, my pearl. Did you enjoy the foretaste of our time together?" Dolohov's voice asked sleazily. I tried to open the glued eyes. His face was close in front of me, his dark eyes sparkled with joy, and his full lips formed a nasty grin. As I felt his warm breath on my sweaty skin, I tried to speak, but no sound passed my lips. So, I did what I could to answer him. I spat a mixture of saliva and my blood directly into his nasty face.
He yelped briefly before his hand clamped tightly around my jaw.
"So that's how you want to play, Pearl? No problem, I like women who fight back. That gives me a kind of special satisfaction. It's something I swore to your lover before he faced his end," Dolohov whispered to my lips. My eyes widened in shock, and I felt fear rising in me for the first time.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I croaked softly from my dry throat. Although my thoughts first turned to Severus, I knew about the long-standing enmity between Dolohov and another man in my life.
"You know I had a special... connection to your lover Gideon Prewett. When I tortured him, I swore to him that I would find you and kill you. So far, unfortunately, there has been no opportunity to keep my promise. Azkaban got in the way, but every day I thought about what I could do to you and what it was like to hear Prewett scream during my curses. That's what kept me alive all these years. And now I see my opportunity has finally come." He licked my cheek, I shuddered with immense disgust.
"You'll have to dig deeper into your pocket to break me, Dolohov," I whispered, grinning cheekily at him as I held back my shudder in front of him. I owed it to Gideon.
"Mh, I can see what he found in you. You should have seen him begging me to spare you. But by then his brother was already lying dead next to him. This idiot thought I would feel sorry for him. He was my nemesis all his life. Even at school, he got on my nerves. This handsome, popular and smart Gryffindor. To puke. But that was exactly what you liked about him, wasn't it? He was the good guy..." Dolohov laughed coldly and I had to grin inwardly. No, it wasn't these individual peculiarities that had made Gideon stand out. It was the fact that I didn't have to be anyone else with him but myself... and his loving eyes, his hearty laugh. And now? Now my heart was beating for the seeming opposite of Gideon. A Slytherin instead of a Gryffindor. But both are the bravest men I know, each in his own way. It was, strangely enough, a kind of irony that Severus would certainly have liked.
"Well, if death can't shock you, then I guess I'll have to get you out of your reserve in some other way. But when I look at you like that, I know exactly what I'm in the mood for," Dolohov whispered and his wand slowly moved from my chin down my neck to my chest before pulling my gripped jaw towards him in pain. When his lips touched me, I couldn't help but feel a gag reflex that matched the disgust that Dolohov triggered in me. I thought of Gideon, how he was tortured to death by this man. The man who loved me, wanted to marry me, have children in a future that could never exist thanks to this monster. I felt Dolohov shoving his tongue into my mouth. I wanted to cry out, but I could think of something better. Dolohov howled in pain when I just bit him.
"You disgusting mudblood! I'm going to drive this out of you quickly! Cruc-"
Suddenly, I heard a deep clearing of a throat and a shrill laugh behind Dolohov.
"Dolohov, this is not appropriate treatment for our guest. You should hold back until the Dark Lord decides what to do with her." His voice sounded cold and full of disgust. But it immediately calmed me down. I looked into his black bottomless eyes, full of hatred for Dolohov, before he looked at me briefly. And for a little moment I thought I had read genuine concern in Severus' eyes. But he had regained his composure incredibly quickly, leaving me with an uncertainty. But I knew he could hide his emotions masterfully.
"Don't be too hard on him, Snape! I'm just wondering why you want this Mudblood of all people when you could make a befitting match, Dolohov?" Bellatrix Lestrange also looked at me, but behind her heavy eyelids I only saw disdain.
Dolohov wiped the blood from his lips before pulling away from me and I breathed a sigh of relief.
"I still have a score to settle with Prewett," Dolohov said tersely.
"That doesn't justify your behaviour like that of a wild animal, Dolohov," Severus hissed and now I felt him pull himself together and I wondered if it was just concern for a member of the Order, perhaps an old friend and companion? Or was it rather the fear for his love for me that made him so angry in the circle of these Death Eaters?
"That's right, you also have a penchant for mudblood women, don't you Snape?" Bellatrix whispered in his ear, which made him wince slightly. She seemed to know the truth about his love for Lily, and when I looked into the sneering faces around me, it seemed like an open secret.
"This is something completely different. I'm just thinking that she might be useful to us," Severus explained with a sneer.
"Us? She must only be useful to the Dark Lord and no one else," the black-haired witch hissed and looked at Severus threateningly.
"That's exactly what I was trying to explain to Dolohov. Only the Dark Lord decides what to do with this hostage and not him," Severus replied with a grin, as if this war of words had developed in his favour. And before Bellatrix could reply, the room filled with a cold presence that made my blood run cold.
"I'm glad you're standing up for my interests, Severus," hissed a voice that made me wince. It was a kind of breath that immediately sent a shiver down my spine. I lifted my gaze and looked straight into eyes that made my blood icy. They were blood-red and where there should have been a nose, there were only slit-shaped nostrils. His figure was tall and thin, his face pale and serpent-like. It was as if he had stepped straight out of a Muggle horror movie, because there was nothing about him to suggest that it could be a human being, which he must have been at some point.
Lord Voldemort glanced at me for a moment before turning to a subordinate who was all speechless and who looked down in awe. Lucius Malfoy had appeared with him, who seemed less than pleased with the current use of his wine cellar. On the contrary, his gaze seemed a little rushed, as if he felt uncomfortable at his master's side.
"Lucius informed me of a guest and your abject failure with the Muggles. So, who is that?" the leader of the Death Eaters asked quietly to the group of bystanders, and before Severus could speak, Bellatrix intervened, whom I now looked at with disgust. The witch was tall and thin, with long black hair and dark eyes shaded by heavy lids. She had killed Sirius, her own cousin. Again, I felt feelings of hatred rising up in me.
"An insignificant mudblood, my lord. Just a pathetic woman that Dolohov wants to take his revenge on," her raspy voice said, and she giggled afterwards when she saw me swallow.
"Is that true, Antonin? Do you claim this woman as your prey? You know, I don't refuse such requests if they are well-founded," Voldemort replied and turned to Dolohov. Severus looked at me for a moment with his mouth open before clearing his throat.
"My Lord, this is a member of Dumbledore's Order. She could be useful to us," Severus explained with his voice lowered and his head bowed. Nothing about him revealed that I had ever been more than that to him. And yet, Voldemort suddenly looked me straight in the eye.
"And you don't have more in common than that, Severus?" Voldemort asked, and suddenly I felt a strange presence of him inside me. I gasped loudly as Lord Voldemort searched my thoughts and feelings. I gathered all I could and thought of my loneliness that I felt after the death of Gideon and of Remus who took me in his arms, in comfort and friendship. There was no room in my life for more... except Asklepios Sharp, who kissed me intimately before revealing his true feelings to me. That seemed to have been enough for the black wizard and he moved away from my head, leaving me with a burning sensation as if he had sucked me dry.
"They know each other from our school days," a rumbling voice sounded behind Severus. It was Mulciber staring at me with a wicked grin. "And she worked for a time at Hogwarts as a teacher, my lord." Of course, Mulciber had recognized me, but I could tell that my diffindo spell had struck him, for he had healing but fresh wounds on his face, which he had smeared with an essence of dittany. I bit my lower lip painfully, as if I could resolve this horrible situation for Severus and me.
"And we all know Snape's weakness when it comes to mudblood women from his school days, my lord," Bellatrix interjected mockingly, which made the bystanders laugh disparagingly, but left Severus unimpressed.
"I assure you, my lord. It's nothing of the sort," Severus insisted, shifting his weight forward a little. Now Voldemort examined Severus closely and I realized that he was now also looking to Severus for clues of a common connection that could go beyond our collegial connections.
"It's quite an interesting site. But I can reassure everyone. It is not Severus who is looking for a deeper connection to this mudblood. What was the name of this healer from St. Mungo's that we tried to get on our side? Before we put the Imperius on Smetchwyck to serve as a healer for us?" Voldemort's voice had become thoughtful as he looked at me with narrowed red eyes. I couldn't make a sound, hoping I hadn't willfully abandoned Sharp to these monsters.
"Asklepios Sharp," Severus whispered and suddenly looked at me with his lips pressed together, his black eyes formed into slits.
"Correct. Well, Severus, how could another healer serve us?" Voldemort turned to Severus, who immediately turned away from me.
"She is a close confidant of many members, and she hears things that I cannot experience, my lord. You know, I'm not very friendly with these people," Severus explained in a serious and dismissive voice, staring straight into his master's red, hideous red eyes.
"You're licking that old moron's feet for that, Snape!" Bellatrix interjected hatefully.
"And you already know my views on this, Bellatrix," Severus replied in a soft voice, looking at her as if she were one of his students who misunderstood instructions for a magic potion.
"I will reconsider my decision. Until then, she remains in the custody of this dungeon. Lucius, see to it that she receives the same proper treatment as the rest of the prisoners," Voldemort ordered, before retreating with his followers. Lucius nodded eagerly, but his hurried gaze only briefly swept over me before he literally fled these rooms with Voldemort. Severus glanced at my trembling body, but his face betrayed no emotion, no hint of pity or concern.
I threw myself moaning against the damp wall in my back, where I sank to the ground, exhausted. I felt tears running down my face. An enormous cold suddenly permeated my entire insides, making me tremble violently. These basement rooms were unable to withstand the cold of winter. On the contrary, they should certainly provide coolness in summer to keep Lucius' valuable wines drinkable.
"I didn't think we'd see each other here again," said a familiar voice suddenly, seemingly coming from the room next to me and therefore sounding muffled. "You still smell delicious despite the hardships. Or maybe it's the deprivation I'm suffering from."
"Darwin?" I gasped, remembering the vampire I met a year ago. I forgot the predicament I was in and was actually a little pleased not to be alone here. "Why are you here?"
"For the same reason as you, I suppose. I didn't want to submit to that red-eyed lord. My brother, on the other hand, does. Now I'm waiting here to dry up from the inside," he explained. His voice sounded as carefree as if he were reciting the weather report, but I could clearly hear that he was having a hard time speaking.
"You... are you supposed to die here?" I asked, panting in shock.
"It's nothing I haven't done before," he laughed softly, but I just shook my head sadly and gasped loudly in rejection. "Seriously. Death may be too early for you, but I'm so old that it doesn't matter to me anymore. It may be an adventure I can embark on. At least I'm better off than the old wizard who was tortured here weeks ago. I am given the peace I need to die," he said with a bitter undertone in his voice. "And now the woman with the beautiful words keeps me company."
The woman with the beautiful words, but that's exactly what it had been. Only empty words, for which Darwin was now to face his final death like so many before him. And I began to cry, burying my face between my legs, which were still twitching slightly from the Cruciatus and the cold.
"Don't waste your tears, witch. The old wizard told me that there is hope. This boy to whom he sold the wand, equal to this false lord. He may prevent the worst," Darwin's voice tried to comfort me, but my eyes widened again with fear.
"Ollivander?" I asked, my voice choked.
"I think that was his name. Did you know him?" asked Darwin quietly.
"Everyone knows him in our world. Do you know what happened to him?" I asked with a dry throat. He was tortured as he knew the secret between me and Severus. What if he spilled the beans? What if Severus couldn't intervene in time?
"He was carried out of here alive. I think he's useful. And as long as you seem useful in some way, they'll keep you alive. At least just so," Darwin replied before remaining silent for a few moments. "And do they think you're useful? As soon as someone shows up here, everything is usually sealed off soundproof, so I could only follow your torture through this one. I hope he didn't hurt you too badly?"
"I don't know if I'm useful. And no, Dolohov needs more than that to finish me off," I replied in a steadfast voice, even though I was afraid of meeting Dolohov again down here in this bound state.
"It's always amazing why you're doing this to each other, and we're being accused of being monsters."
I don't know how many hours had passed; Darwin had fallen asleep from weakness at some point. At least I hoped so, because he didn't deserve such an agonizing death, no one did.
But I heard the door to my narrow basement compartment slowly open and looked hopefully at the dark-haired wizard who stepped through the door. But my grin froze as I realized in the gloomy light, which only a few candles glowed, that it was not Severus who came to me.
"What do you want here? You enjoy the fact that I can remain defenceless on this inviting ground?" I hissed hatefully at Dolohov.
"I thought I'd teach you a few more manners until they decide what to do with you." His grin was as cold as his voice sneeringly expressed an absurd glee. He visibly enjoyed having me where he wanted me to be. I felt the fear begin to close in my throat as I screamed loudly in endless agony. I felt my fingernails tearing wounds into my flesh, my teeth biting my mouth bloody with spasms. And through it all, an immense pain shot through my body that made me want to burst. It felt like I was going to tear in two at any moment. It was… so indescribably cruel.
Then Dolohov lowered his wand and the pain subsided, only the twitching of my limbs betrayed the pain I had just endured for who knows how long.
Panting, I lay on the ground, my bloody hands pressed against the cold stone floor.
"And, still so cheeky, Mudblood? Where's your stolen magic now?" he asked, spitting in my face, which I defiantly held out to him.
"Lick me!" I shouted angrily.
"Not such words, my pearl!" he replied aloud. And again, I felt the curse working on my body, but this time it felt even more intense. Not only did it take hold of every cell, but it began to tug at my soul. That pain, everything in me was screaming. Until, suddenly, it subsided and I collapsed.
"And are you willing to speak to me in an appropriate tone? To do what I feel like doing?" I heard his voice close to my ear. Too close. The hatred for him dissolved a strong feeling of disgust in me as I tried to gasp for air. I tried to kick him with my legs, but they were also tied up, so that I only slid further down the wall. He laughed spitefully before suddenly grabbing my chest.
"I admit, it makes me horny when you fight back like that. I wonder how long you can take this," he breathed on my cheek before he began to press his lips to my mouth, but I immediately flinched, feeling the disgust creep up my neck. But he grabbed my neck with one hand while sliding the other between my legs. I squeezed them tightly, but he only laughed derisively as his strong hand reached further up. I tried to free my hands from the restraints, but they tightened around my wrists, they seemed to have been magically closed.
"Why are you so attracted to a mudblood like me? When you should take some of your blood," I said dismissively and spat on the floor in front of me.
"I promised your friend Prewett and I keep my promises. Always," he said. "And I know I'll get what I want, my pearl. Just try to enjoy it. I know you want it too." His hand pushed my panties to the side and two of his fingers painfully penetrated me. I gasped in pain and disgust.
"Well, do you like it, my pearl?" His voice sounded deep now, and I could clearly hear his arousal.
"Never, Dolohov... you're the last of those asses I want to see naked," I exclaimed.
"Crucio!"
Every fiber of my body seemed to burst. Nothing was tangible but pain and anguish. I lost all sense of space and time. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. Only my own screams echoed in my ears and deep inside me. After what seemed like a never-ending time, all this subsided, I slumped to the ground, unable to hold on. I felt myself vomiting, but I couldn't stop it. It was as if my body no longer belonged to me. As if we had been separated. Then my upper body simply fell to the ground, but I felt nothing inside me, no pain from the hard impact, because it seemed nothing comparable to what I had felt before. This pain was so immense that everything in me was switched off, including my senses, because I no longer perceived anything around me until after what felt like an eternity, muffled voices reached my ear, it seemed to be an argument. But all that didn't seem important anymore, I just wanted an ending. An end to all this, no longer feeling anything. No pain, no agony, just merging into nothingness. But I suddenly felt a cool hand caressing my forehead lovingly and gently and putting my hair behind my ear. This gesture was so familiar that I tried to open my eyelids, but it seemed too heavy. It hurt too much.
"Dolohov, what have you done, you son of a bitch! She glows like fire." Severus's voice was full of anger. "The Dark Lord has made himself clear. She will remain unharmed until a decision has been made as to what will happen to her."
"You know he's lenient when it comes to dealing with mudbloods. And I'm not done here, Snape. The fun part is yet to come. If you want, you are welcome to watch. Even though Mulciber has already signed up for it." Dolohov sounded relaxed, as if he knew full well that no harm would come to him for his actions on me.
"I'm not sure. The Dark Lord has just decided that she is useful. And we can hardly bring her back to that state under the Imperius to the Order and claim that she was able to escape from the fight." Severus' voice was angry. His presence gave me the strength I needed to open my eyes. He was bent over me, his cool hand still resting on my sweaty forehead, but his face was turned towards Dolohov, who now widened his eyes a little.
"Useful? You're not going to tell the Dark Lord about it, are you, Snape? Not after I didn't betray you when I found you at Ollivander without permission," Dolohov replied and grinned scornfully, he knew he could buy Severus' silence with his own silence. I heard Severus exhale briefly.
"Good. Then get out of here, Dolohov, before I forget myself," Severus barked and looked into my half-open eyes. I felt his hand twitch slightly on my skin.
"Why do you want to be alone with her?" Dolohov asked suspiciously, now looking disparagingly at the familiar gesture between us, so that Severus' hand jerked back.
"I'll have to undo your damage, before I can use the Imperius on her if that's even possible. And I hate it when people look over my shoulder as I work," Severus explained calmly but firmly. Dolohov nodded reluctantly before giving me a hateful look.
"Well, I knew there would be opportunities to possess her again and then nothing would help her anymore," Dolohov spat into the room and disappeared from my sight. Severus stood up, locked the door from intruders and eavesdroppers, before leaning back towards me.
Severus grabbed me by the shoulders and straightened my torso. I couldn't hold myself upright and immediately slumped against Severus, leaning against him and suddenly feeling the heat inside me increase. But I knew it wasn't because of the previous ordeal, but because my heart was overjoyed by our touch. I closed my eyes and tried to calm my breathing, but it was still far too fast.
"Catherine, can you understand me?" his voice asked softly against my ear. A warmth began to fill my heart that I couldn't grasp in my thoughts. I opened my mouth, trying to answer, but only a soft moan escaped me before I felt a cold vial on my mouth.
"Drink this! It will give you relief," he whispered, turning away briefly to dab his face with a green silk handkerchief with his initials. Was he crying? The thought seemed so far away that it slipped away from me again when I felt the cold and bitter liquid burning in my throat, causing me to cough. Severus suddenly held me tightly to him or a while, and I felt him gently run his hand over my back. It felt so unreal, as if I was just watching the spectacle around me from afar... as if my face wasn't properly reconnected to my body yet and I feel a tingling sensation ran through me and I began to tremble slightly.
"I'm so sorry. I wanted to prevent all of that. I've failed. Please, please forgive me..." he whispered sadly. Slowly my senses began to awaken again and now I felt a warm drop on my cheek. Was it a tear? But I couldn't speak yet, my throat was constricted. And already I felt the blood rushing through my head... everything hurt, every single cell seemed to be reeling from the torture I had experienced. And I felt my mind slip into darkness.