-I refuse!- Alice snapped, crossing her arms over her chest.

-He tried to kill Edward, he's too dangerous and unpredictable.- Rosalie said, she did feel bad for Alice, but keeping Jasper was no longer an option, today it was Edward, tomorrow it could be Esme, Renesmee, Alice herself.

-He was scared, he didn't mean to hurt anyone.

-He didn't even listen to me, he was completely out of it.- Edward told, he still felt nauseous, Carlisle had said it would pass, that it might be because of the unexpected loss of way too much venom.

Jasper was upstairs.

Still quiet like the death.

-If he leaves, I leave.- Alice sentenced, fingers curled into fists, she didn't understand why had Jasper attacked Edward the way he did, why did he refuse to let him go even after being told that María wasn't involved in any of this.

Those crazy eyes weren't him.

It hadn't been like the kind of episodes he had had in the past, this had been something completely different she never saw before.

But she refused to give him up, she already failed him once, she wasn't doing it again.

-You didn't fail him, at this point I think it would be a mercy-

-If you finish that sentence I swear to God the next thing coming out of your mouth will be your teeth.

-Alice!- Carlisle scolded, definitely not expecting such words to come out from his usually composed daughter.

-You don't get it. You don't understand a thing about him!- Alice snapped, she was tired of everyone's fear towards him, their wariness, like they were all waiting for the other shoe to drop, like he was some kind of monster to be ware of.

He wasn't a monster, he wasn't a demon, he was not.

-I saw him in the South, he wanted to leave, it hurt him to kill others, he didn't even knew there was another way of life, he always thought everywhere was the same, just death and violence, fights for food and territories.

For everything.

-But he never left, you insist and insist, but you forget to remember that he never left, he didn't meet you, he didn't got free, the Jasper from your visions is not real, the sooner you accept that the sooner you can see that he can't stay, not here, not with you.- Rosalie said, for once her voice was soft as she spoke.

She believed Alice, but that Jasper was gone, the one upstairs clearly had a broken mind, that hysteria and crazed expression had left it very clear.

Alice for her side bit her tongue at Rosalie's words.

And then, before she knew it, the truth was spilling out.

-But he did leave!- She explode, tired of it all, she didn't think she would survive another "but you didn't knew him" phrase.

She was tired of their fear and their urge to get rid of him just because he was seemingly dangerous.

He wasn't.

Silence is what seizes the room.

And then.

-Come again?

-He did leave, I lied before, alright? Peter did go back for him, Jasper spent a while with Peter and Peter's mate; Charlotte, but he ended up going out on his own because he felt bad his depression was affecting them, he was horribly indecisive, so it took a while before I could actually come across him.

-Wait, so you did meet him before?- Emmett questioned, not sure he was getting this right, if Alice did meet him, why not just say that? Why tell them he died way before she met him? What did she get from that? It didn't make sense.

-I did, in 1948, we spent a year and a half together before he…- She didn't finish that sentence, she didn't even want to talk about this, because the reminder of the fire and the blood was too much to handle in itself.

-Then why not say just that?

Alice shrugged.

-Alice?

-Because I didn't want to think about it, alright?- She snapped at last.- Can we not talk about this? That's irrelevant now, point is that he's not dangerous, not before, not now.

-That might be true, but you still have no idea what he must have gone through, he doesn't even know who you are, what makes you think he's anywhere near the same person you knew?- Rosalie says, she couldn't understand what would lead Alice to lie about something like that.

Why make everyone believe she never met her mate? It didn't make sense. And the way she avoided the questions led her to believe she was hiding something.

But the point stood, whether she knew him or not he might as well be a completely different person now.

-He was gonna be to you what Edward is to me, you know? You would have hated him at first, but you would have bonded eventually, because you had a lot in common, he would have posed as your twin…

Rosalie clenched her jaw at Alice's words. She had no idea what she spoke of, she didn't even like Jasper, hadn't bothered to spend time around him, and yet, the idea of her growing close enough to someone to offer her own last name…

Her last name was sacred to her, a bit of her human life, if she had let him use it, pose as something as close as a twin…

For him to be to her what Edward was to Alice…

A brother, a friend, a confident.

The knowledge of having lost something she didn't even knew she could have… it stung more than she could have ever expected.

-He was gonna be wrestling partners with Emmett, partners in crime, they would have gotten in trouble together, a lot, Emmett and him would had come up with a stupid chess game meant for three people.

Emmett deflated at those words, a partner in crime? A wrestling partner? That was like a dream come true. Chess for three… that did sound interesting, a great game to twist Edward's brain and keep him from cheating.

He had always craved for someone to play with, Bella was alright, she liked playing rough, but she was a mother and she had responsibilities.

Jasper…

-He would have followed Esme around whenever the house was alone so she wouldn't feel lonely and so he wouldn't feel lonely either, he was gonna join her whenever she baked, help her in the garden.

Esme felt her dead heart break at Alice's words. None of her children would ever be caught dead in a kitchen.

All of them hated going near food they couldn't taste.

So the idea of finally getting one who wouldn't have protested at the idea of helping her bake, joining her in the garden, or just following her around…

She found it endearing.

And heartbreaking.

Because she would never get to do any of that with him.

Because he never arrived with Alice.

And to Esme it felt as if she had lost something beautiful.

-And while he wouldn't have liked Edward much at first because of his gift, they would have found even ground because of their love for music, he knew how to play the guitar, he would have asked Edward to teach him how to play the piano and in exchange he would have taught him how to play the guitar.

Edward scowled and looked away, he did admit the idea of it didn't sound half bad, he had always wanted to learn how to play the guitar, but he had never gotten the hang of it.

And none of his siblings was interested in music either, which would have been a good change of pace to have someone with musical interests.

But he wasn't Jasper.

That thing upstairs was The Major.

-Carlisle was gonna teach him how to drive, he was gonna be the one in charge of dealing with our fake paperwork because his gift would have given him the advantage when dealing with nosey humans.

Carlisle felt the pang of hurt and guilt, he hated seeing his daughter so distressed, even more when he was the one to blame, Jasper did sound like he would have been a wonderful addition to the family.

Sadly, that boy didn't exist.

Never got the chance to.

He didn't arrive with Alice, was locked up in that place for God knows how long, subjected to unimaginable things.

His mind had been broken beyond measure, he hadn't even known his name, he was a ticking bomb.

A ticking bomb with an extremely dangerous gift.

He had attacked Edward, as much as it pained Carlisle he couldn't have his family being harmed in their own house, what if Renesmee had been here?

Carlisle couldn't trust him.

-He was gonna love you all, even if he himself would have never realized it, he would've loved you, he would have cared, why can't you at least try to do the same?- Alice hated how her voice broke at the end, but she was seriously way too frustrated here, why couldn't they see that Jasper needed them?

What he needed right now was people to support him and help him.

A family.

-Doesn't he deserve a chance? He's been alone for so long, knowing nothing but pain and loneliness, he deserves to have people who care about him, who are there for him when he needs it the most, and who at least try to understand him. Is it so hard?

-Alice-

-No, if he can't stay I will leave with him, I'm sorry, but I won't let him be thrown out like a dog just because he's difficult to handle. He deserves better than that.- Alice said, refusing to bend to any of them, she didn't care if he wasn't the same, she could get to know him again, she wouldn't leave him alone again, never again, he deserved to have someone who would care about him.

Hardships and all.

She loved him and now that she had found him back she would never let him go.

She didn't care if at the end she couldn't have him as nothing but a friend, she would still stay by his side, she would never leave him.

Ever.

She left the living room, not wanting to argue anymore, she wanted to see him.

~

Jasper had no idea at all what had happened.

One moment he was working on the horse puzzle.

And next thing he knew he was on the floor with his legs on fire and the puzzle scattered all over the place. The room reeked of venom and something quite nauseating that his instincts reeled at despite the fact that he couldn't recognize the smell.

He had no idea what had happened.

And the emotions in the house were like knives dragging beneath his skin; anger, fear, worry, wariness, sadness, sympathy, frustration, guilt, uneasiness, mistrust, and so much more.

He tried to speak but found himself unable to, his throat burnt, and not in a familiar way, his head also hurt quite a lot, he felt funny, but his legs, they hurt so bad, his knees were throbbing with such force it felt like his bones would explode, it made tears blur his vision, someone had shut the window too, and the door was closed.

They had locked him in, why? He hadn't done anything wrong, he had behaved well, he had been good, so good. Doing everything they asked of him, well, not everything, he still refused to shower, but Alice said it was fine, she had been genuinely honest.

Had she lied? Why? He couldn't understand, didn't she kept assuring him she would never hurt him? Lie to him?

He curled even more on the floor, biting back a sob at the fire on his knees, what did they do to his legs? He could barely move them now, it almost reminded him of what that dark haired man with the weird robes had done, when he tore his legs off.

But his legs were here.

He still had them, so what was wrong? He could smell acid from somewhere, not strong enough, but still strong enough to let him know he was bleeding.

And his stomach.

God did he stomach also burnt, and he still had no idea what had happened. He didn't look nor engaged at all with Esme, that couldn't be right?

-Jazz?- Alice's sudden voice pulled him out of his thoughts, worry was heavy in her emotions as she peeked inside the dim-lighted room, so genuine he almost fell for it, was she on their side? How could this beautiful angel be on the side of the same people who hurt him? Didn't she say she liked him? That she would always be on his side?

But María had also appeared to him as a beautiful angel.

A beautiful angel who became the devil itself.

And when Alice came close to him he couldn't help but feel his heart accelerate as fear gripped at him, she knelt at his side, her hand resting on his shoulder, his instincts reeled and he swatted her hand away before he could realize what he was doing.

Alarm and shock flared from downstairs while pain and confusion overtook Alice.

He heard footsteps but he could care less as he straightened up into a sitting position and backed off, ignoring the screaming of his legs or his stomach as he did.

His back hit the wall at the exact same time the door became swarmed with more vampires than he remembered seeing in a long time.

It was enough to make the little control he had gathered this past week break, he didn't want more pain, he really was starting to entertain the idea of this place not being as horrible as the one before, even if not better it wasn't as worse, he was free here, no one was beating him, he could eat, he could keep his hair, he wasn't locked, he wasn't chained nor muzzled.

But no.

It had all been a lie.

He would never be safe.

He didn't deserve it.

And he burnt with shame as he felt the tears spill out, arms going up to shield his head, he wanted to curl and hide, but his legs wouldn't answer to him, so all he could do was hide behind his arms and cry, he was tired of everything, why couldn't people just leave him alone? What did he do that was so awful no one would leave him be?

-'m sorry.- The apology came out before he could stop it.- 'm so sorry, I won't do it again, I don't know what I did wrong, but I won't do it again, I promise, jus' tell me what I did wron' and I'll fix it, I swear, I'll be better, I'll be so much more better, I'll shower, I'll stop going outside, I won't drink yer venom anymore, I'll stop complainin', I won't talk anymore, and- I'll do better. I'll be better. I'll be real good this time. I…

A thought occurred to him on how to seal this. It's a thought that makes him want to crumble down and beg and plead for it to not happen. He wants to cry and scream and hide.

But he would give anything to not be locked again, for the pain to not return, he just needs time to grow stronger, once he did he would be able to leave.

And he was willing to pay whatever price he had to to gain time.

-You can put a muzzle on me and chain me if it makes you feel better, ya won't even have to force me, I promise. But please don't lock me away again, please, anythin' but that, I don't wanna be locked up again.

He tries to sound less miserable, but it fails spectacularly, his voice is pathetic and it ends up breaking at the end, and God how much he hates feeling like this .

His stomach ties into knots and his heart drops as horror and shock fills the air. A sob catches in his throat and he curls into himself, ignoring the fire in his stomach.

-Christ man, what kind of people do you think we are?

That's the last straw for him and he ends up breaking down. Hiding his face and gripping his hair and hating each and every single thing about this situation and himself.

He hears footsteps stalk forward, emotional signature carrying such ravenous wrath he chokes in a whimper. He flinched when someone grabs his arms, his back hitting the wall, he comes face to face with the stunning blonde woman; Rosalie, Renesmee had called her, her golden eyes couldn't be any more fierce. He wants to hide.

-You listen to me and you listen to me damn well, no one in this house will ever put you in chains nor a muzzle, understand? No one at. all.

Her rage burns like fire across his skin, but beneath that fire there's something even more fierce he can't quite make out, but it's not painful.

-You are not gonna be locked, you can talk, you can complain, you can keep on stinking like a bag of rotten trash if that's what you want, you can feed off venom, you can go outside, you can do whatever the hell you want, no one is going to lock you away for it, but don't you dare to ever suggest something like that, not to us, and not to anyone else, understand?

Rosalie hadn't liked him, she didn't like him, she didn't like the idea of The Major being anywhere near her family, much less after what he pulled.

But hearing him talk like that, seeing him cowering and hearing him crying as he begged, his body shaking, offering to be put in chains and a muzzle like some kind of dog in exchange for a sliver of freedom .

Looking in all the sense of the word as if he were the victim and they were the demons.

It had twisted something inside her, it had made her nauseous and enraged, because what the hell had they done to him for him to think something like that was normal?

It was clear by his reaction that he was telling the truth about not knowing what he had done, he didn't remember attacking Edward nor Jacob, all he could see was how the same people who had been helping him had suddenly turned against him without a reason, it made Rosalie nauseous to hear him speak like that.

Even Alice looked beyond horrified by this turn of events.

Rosalie had reacted on reflex, unable to keep on hearing such horrible things, the sole idea of being seen as an abuser was enough to make her feel near claustrophobic, hateful, she wanted him to stop spouting nonsense, to stop seeing them as the enemy.

As something he needed to be wary of or even obedient towards to not be hurt.

He was giving her such a desolated look, so broken, so afraid, of her, she didn't want him to be afraid of her, those damn tears, he looked at her like Rosalie was being the evil one here, like she was the one attacking the weak without reason.

Like she was the monster.

And it was at that moment that Rosalie knew she couldn't hate him, she couldn't hate someone for acting according to what trauma had bestowed upon him, Alice was right.

It wasn't his fault, if what she had infront of her was The Major with no memories of his crimes, it meant he was not as evil as she had first thought. That maybe, just maybe, life was what had turned him evil.

She released his arms before stepping back.

He went back to hiding behind his arms, though at least he wasn't shaking nor talking nonsense anymore.

Alice was at his side next.

-Jazz? What's the last thing you do remember?- She questioned softly, if he said he didn't remember his fight with Edward and Jacob then she believed him.

-... The puzzle… S' scattered all over now, I didn't do it, it wasn't me. Is that why you're mad? I'm sorry, but I swear it wasn't me, or was it 'cause I spoke with your coven leader's mate? I'm sorry, I won't do it again.- Even if Jasper said that he still had absolutely no idea what had he done to evoke their wrath.

Why had they hurt him? The beautiful blonde claimed no one would ever imprison him, but then what had all this been about? He couldn't understand.

The flaring surprise and confusion rippled across his skin, making him flinch.

-Why would anyone be mad at you for talking with Esme?

He flinched at the question, was it a test? A trick? He couldn't understand! His fingers dug into his skull as he bit back the urge to shout, because what did they want from him? Why were they so confusing? He couldn't understand!

-She's not to be looked at nor spoken with, it's… not respectful?- He had no idea if he was right on the reason, all he knew is that it felt like he shouldn't interact with the mate of the man who was in charge of his freedom and wounds, if he didn't interact with her there were less chances for him to do something to upset the coven leader.

He couldn't understand what did the confusion in the air meant, understanding from some, sadness, sympathy, why?

-You can look and talk to her, to anyone at all, no one will be mad at it, as long as you are respectful while doing so, that's it.- Carlisle felt like he needed to be the one to assure Jasper of said things. He still couldn't understand what had happened, he didn't remember attacking Edward? Edward had said he had had some sort of flashback before attacking…

Had he attacked Edward while having entered a dissociative state? Edward had also said Jasper had claimed them to be working for María, had referred to himself as "us".

But he was so subdued now… having no recollections of even having smashed the puzzle.

If he had had such a violent dissociative episode due a flashback… finding out the triggers would be primordial to make sure he didn't hurt other people nor himself.

Yes.

Himself.

Carlisle could see something wasn't quite right about his legs, and he could smell the blood, see the dark stain on his stomach, his wound must have re-opened.

He threw a look at the others, requesting for them to leave, he needed to check Jasper's wound, and his legs.

Soon enough no one but him and Alice remained in the room with Jasper.

-Jazz, can Carlisle take a look at you?- Alice's voice was soft as she made the question, her answer was a flinch and a hitch of breath.- He won't hurt you, he just wants to help, your stomach is hurt, and so are your legs, he can make the pain stop.

A long moment of silence hangs in the air before he nods.

Carlisle comes to kneel before him, Jasper dropped his arms to his sides but he still refuses to look at Carlisle.

-May I?- His question is met by a short nod, Carlisle touches his legs around the knees, something doesn't feel right about it.- Can I pull the hem up? Something doesn't feel right, I need to see if there's something I might have missed before.

Silence.

Then a short nod.

Carlisle was glad Jasper was wearing sweatpants, because it made it a hundred times easier to pull the hem of his pants up with ease, his leg… even his leg is branded with scars, bites, lacerations, and still, the mark from the shackles on his ankle stands out like a sore thumb, his knee on the other hand, it's bleeding, and as he pats around, he feels it.

A bump, small, but hard, and that definitely shouldn't be there, he feels his dead heart drop when he leans down to get a better look, the skin at the back of his knees was torn open, blood gushing out lazily, but what makes nausea swirl at the pit of his stomach is the sparkling bit he can see encrusted into his muscles.

Pins.

It explained the reason for there to not be any progress with his legs, his words about it feeling like his skin wants to rip apart.

Someone had literally put pins on his muscles to prevent him from stretching his legs at all.

But he must have snapped the pins when he attacked Edward and Jacob.

At least this was something he could fix.

He just hated what that would require.

~

-No! I said I was sorry! You said it was alright! You said it was alright!- Jasper snapped, he tried to move away, but Alice didn't let him, grabbing his arms to keep him in place, he shouldn't be moving right now.

Between her and Carlisle they had managed to move him to the bed where he laid at, as it turns out, Carlisle could remove the pins on his knees, which would hopefully make his recovery faster, Alice felt sick and furious to even think someone would have the audacity to do something so cruel to him.

But in order to remove the pins Carlisle wanted to put Jasper to sleep so as to spare him the tortuous pain that would come with having to pull pins from his muscles, pins that had practically fused with his skin and muscles at this point, it would be excruciating.

Plus.

If he was asleep he wouldn't attempt to get away from the pain, which might make him lose a lot of blood, that if one didn't count the fact that he could either hurt himself or Carlisle.

Or worse.

The pain might trigger some sort of flashback which no one wanted to see happen.

But Jasper didn't want to be put to sleep, which, understandable.

But still.

He was giving her such a betrayed look it made her want to cry and apologize, because the last thing she wanted was to scare him or hurt him, anything but that .

-Hey, listen to me.- Her voice came out as soft as possible, her hold on him loosening just enough to let him know she wasn't restraining him, he could get up if he wanted.- No one is going to hurt you here, no one is mad, but you need to sleep so Carlisle can fix your legs, he can't do that with you awake, the pain… it will be huge, it's better if you sleep for it.

-I can take pain.- Jasper assured, his voice edging on desperated as he gave Alice a pleading look. Of course she knew he could take pain, she knew that better than anyone, it was genuinely frightening the pain tolerance he had.

Didn't meant she was about to let him be hurt.

-Just because you can take it it doesn't mean you should. You don't ever have to be in pain, not anymore, I won't allow it.- Alice told firmly, her hands hovering at both sides of his face, just inches apart, not touching but still wanting to convey some sort of physical comfort.

Jasper stared back at her, a troubled look on his face.

-Please? Don't you want to walk again? To stretch out your legs? You can jump and run all over the place if you want.- Alice tried, hoping to get through him, she knew he was scared, she understood the why.

But no one would harm him here, no one would ever harm him again for as long as she lived, but his legs… those pins needed to come out, Carlisle said they should remove them now that he's loosened some of them by standing up, and because of how some shifted even if Jasper healed he would be in tremendous pain.

Those pins had to come out.

Meanwhile, Jasper curled his fingers into fists, because he did want to be able to use his legs, to walk, to run, but the idea of putting himself into such state as what the vervain provoked on him…

Was it worth it?

What if he never woke up again? But Alice was giving him such a hopeful look, her eyes were so pure, like nothing he's ever seen before.

And he wants to believe her, because she's been nothing but kind to him, a bit odd at times, but kind nevertheless.

And there was this feeling… he didn't knew what it was, but it pulled at him, it made him want to comply to any of her demands, to trust her completely, he had no idea why did this woman affected him so much, it terrified him.

But at the same time… he wanted to dive into it.

Thus.

He unclenches his fists.

-Alright… what do you want me to do?

~

Carlisle spent over three hours removing the pins, keeping Jasper's blood loss to a minimum as he did, because blood loss meant the possibility of him regaining conscience past his current state.

And that wasn't something he could allow, he was now working on the pins that had lodged themselves deeper, some of which refused to be removed with how strongly they were fused to his muscles.

But Carlisle was nothing if not determined to fix this, he refused to give up and let him suffer when he could help him.

Alice had refused to leave, so she was currently sitting there, stroking Jasper's hair.

And part of Carlisle couldn't help but pray that removing these pins wouldn't make Jasper run away, it would destroy Alice to lose him, Carlisle just knew it would.

At first he had thought her to have grown attached to him, she was seeing him for the first time, of course she would get attached.

But finding out that she had known him before, that she spent a whole year and a half with him…

She wasn't getting attached.

She was just processing the fact that she had him back, same mate she had thought dead for so long was alive, and Carlisle couldn't imagine how hard it had to be for her, to see him like this, for him to not recognize her, to not be able to touch him, to be regarded with mistrust and fear…

It had to be eating at her, Carlisle didn't knew how could she keep such a straight face, to not break down…

But she had also gained a new kind of sparkle in her too, one he never knew she was even missing.

Carlisle didn't want her to lose it, she deserved some happiness, and Jasper…

He didn't knew what he might have gone through these past years, nor the kind of life that might await them by letting a vampire with possible PTSD among them.

But Carlisle wanted to give him a chance, he deserved a chance to prove himself, to prove that he wasn't as terrible as the world had made him out to be, to live a normal life.

Alice's words still echoed in his head, hearing what could have been… it made him want to fight for it, to keep Jasper regardless of what the future brought them, because truth was that seeing him this past week, seeing how curious he was about everything, how much he conveyed with his expressions whenever he was taken outside…

Such intense happiness by something so simple.

Carlisle wanted to keep him, he wanted him to be able to go outside whenever he wanted to, for him to be free, he's always been part of this family, he had thought of Jasper as the son he never met.

And now that he had him… he wanted to fight for him.

It would be hard, he knew it, putting his condition as a black blood aside, Jasper presented a lot of oddities regarding his ability to process words, and there was also his issue with forgetting things, or his missing memories, and also his inability speak correctly at times.

Carlisle's heard him pronounce words wrong several times, even after getting a correction from whoever was with him.

He also presented several signs of Post-traumatic stress disorder, his aversion to touch, refusing to shower, and also the flashback regarding his transformation that Edward had spoken to him about.

And there was also the possibility of dissociation, it would explain why he didn't remember attacking Edward and Jacob.

All of these were quite difficult things to deal with in a human, in a vampire? Just as much.

Even more so when said vampire was as skilled as Jasper, and an empath.

He heard from Edward what that flashback had triggered on his gift, what he had made them all feel, Carlisle would have to take extra precautions with him, Jasper's gift was an offensive one, offensive gifts were dangerous when the vampire that had them didn't control it right.

If Jasper were to lose control of his gift whenever he had a flashback… if his gift could evoke such reaction on vampires, what would it do against humans? What if there was more to his gift than he was aware and he ended up hurting Renesmee or Jacob?

He would need to speak with Bella, and Jasper. He knew it wasn't Jasper's fault, but he needed someone capable of dealing with his gift in case something happened, Edward had said before that Jasper was panicking because his gift didn't work on them when Bella had been using her shield.

So maybe her shield could keep Jasper's gift at bay in case he had another episode, finding the triggers for these episodes was also important, it would help to deal with him in the long run.

He just hoped he wasn't making a mistake here by letting him stay.

But again, taking risks is what had brought Bella and Renesmee to their lives.

And Carlisle wouldn't change them for the world, who knows, Jasper might turn out to be the final piece to complete their family.