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Okay, so this is the ACTUAL last chapter (for real).
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Luo Binghe opened his eyes to dim surroundings, and what little light there was seemed unnatural. At first, he thought that he must be back at the bottom of the Endless Abyss, but when he sat up, he realized he was somewhere entirely unknown. He was surrounded by strange debris stacked on various surfaces, most of which he couldn't even hope to know the names for. There were papers, balled up or flat, so he could recognize that, at least. There were also these odd hollow cylinders, many stacked up and nestled into each other, with chopsticks sitting beside them. Shiny, paper-like-but-not-quite-paper things were scattered about as well, unknown words printed in bright colors on their surface. There was furniture too, but it didn't match any taste Luo Binghe knew of.
And it was all lit by a glowing rectangle of light.
Luo Binghe turned around and realized he wasn't alone. There was another man sitting there, his dark hair cropped short and his frame thin and lanky, narrow in the shoulders, and from what he could tell from his sitting position, he looked rather short. His clothes were simple and unadorned, giving him the impression that the man wasn't quite dressed. He only wore a pair of grey pants and a weird shirt with short sleeves. More of the words he couldn't read adorned the front. He was also wearing glasses that glinted in the dim light of the room.
Luo Binghe couldn't help staring at him.
"Who… are you?" he found himself asking.
The man smiled sadly.
"Why don't you guess?"
He didn't recognize the voice, either.
"I… I don't think we've met."
"We have."
Luo Binghe's eyebrows creased. Truly, he believed he would remember someone who dressed so strangely.
"… Are you… from one of the other sects…?"
He looked young, clearly a man but only by a few years. He could be a disciple from somewhere.
"Nope. I'm from Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, Qing Jing Peak."
He didn't know if he believed him, after all, he definitely would have recognized him if he was from Qing Jing Peak.
A small laugh came from the man's mouth, amused by his hesitation.
"Oh, come on. Can't you at least try to guess? I promise you know my name. Or, one of them."
He really couldn't think of it. Anyone he knew did not match this face. Luo Binghe sighed.
"Can you give me a hint?"
The man paused, as if he was considering the request.
"Alright, then."
He leaned forward, giving Luo Binghe the impression that he might whisper the hint to him for whatever reason, but instead he felt something soft touch his lips.
.
.
The man had kissed him!
Luo Binghe blinked, scandalized for just a moment before something clicked into place. He was in Shen Qingqiu's mindscape. It was only him and this man here in this room.
"… Shizun…?"
The man smiled a little brighter, chuckling.
"You should be ashamed, not recognizing your own husband!" he laughed, almost giggling. "Though, I suppose I can't blame you, can I? You've never seen me like this."
Luo Binghe was only more confused now.
"Shizun, I don't understand. Why do you look so different?"
A thought occurred to him, remembering that his husband's body made from the Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom didn't look quite like himself, either.
"Is this… did you make another body at some point?" he asked, unsure of it, considering his Shizun was unlikely to have found such a rare item twice.
"No, that's not quite it," he sighed. "I'm afraid it's a bit of a long story, and I'm still not quite so sure I want to tell it."
The smile was completely gone now, and he recognized the anxiety in his husband's posture.
"Shizun, why can't you tell me?"
"Why can't you let things rest? I didn't ask you to come here! Actually, I told you not to!"
Suddenly, his Shizun was angry, and though Luo Binghe expected it, he had hoped it would be saved for the waking world.
"If I could, I would have!" Luo Binghe exclaimed. "I didn't want to invade your mind like this, but I had no choice! You might die otherwise!"
The man's face shifted to shock, but it tempered down rather quickly.
"Is that so?" he asked, expression pitying. "I really can't stop putting you through hell, can I? You've already watched me die more than once, and now, I'm making you watch it again."
Luo Binghe couldn't help grabbing him by the shoulders.
"But it didn't have to be like this!" he yelled. "You had a qi deviation because you hold all of your emotions inside until they cause havoc within yourself! You're sick, and you won't let anyone help you!"
"I've tried! I've tried to talk as much as I can, but there are so many things I can't explain, or things I don't want to explain! I just can't do it!" Shen Qingqiu yelled back. "You act like it's so easy, but you saw! My memories are confused, but they're still memories, and they suck! Why is the only way to fix myself to confront them?! I don't want to!"
"Because nothing else is working!" Luo Binghe told him. "I don't understand! Why would you rather let yourself get to this point instead of talking to someone?! If you survived it the first time, why is talking about it after the fact so hard when the alternative is not surviving?!"
Luo Binghe let out a desperate breath.
"Don't you want to get better?!"
Shen Qingqiu glared at him with that unfamiliar face, breaking out of his hold.
"Yes! But that's not how this works!" he said, frustrated. "You're misunderstanding. If it was just a matter of saying it once and being done with it, then fine! I'd do it! But that's not going to fix it. I'd have to talk about it over and over and work through it to get anywhere! It's not simple!"
Luo Binghe deflated. He really didn't want to argue with his husband, and he rarely did, but this was important! If he didn't get through to him, this really could kill him.
"… But you'll die…," he sniffled. "Mu Qingfang said he doesn't know if you'll wake up, even if he keeps treating you, and- and I… I can't lose you again! I can't! I love you so much, and I swear to the heavens if you die, I'll find some way to get you back, so just don't die in the first place!"
Luo Binghe began to cry in earnest, unsuccessfully rubbing the tears away with his palms. Not getting anywhere, he hid his face and let the tears just soak into his sleeve. He didn't expect his angry husband to comfort him, but a few moments later, he found arms wrapped around him.
"I don't want to die, and I'm not trying to," Shen Qingqiu explained. "If I could just snap and make myself better, I would. But that's not how it works. I'm just trying to get you to understand that it's not so easy, and some of it really feels impossible. So much of this hinges on things I can't tell you- things I don't even know if I'm allowed to tell you."
He sighed.
"You… You have no idea how crazy this world is, Binghe, or the impossible things that have happened," he continued. "Even if I could tell you, I don't think you could ever truly believe it."
Luo Binghe rubbed at his face again and looked up.
"What do you mean, you aren't allowed to tell me? I'm your husband. You can tell me anything."
He shook his head.
"I can't, and I don't think I can even tell you why I can't."
"Is… Is someone stopping you?"
Shen Qingqiu didn't answer immediately, apparently needing a moment to think it over.
"… Yes, I suppose that's the best way to put it."
Baring his teeth, Luo Binghe growled. There had been someone hurting his Shizun, controlling him, all along? Would his husband even have gotten so bad if this person wasn't there to stop him from talking to people?
"What if I killed them? They wouldn't be able to stop you, then."
Without a fan to use, Shen Qingqiu just lightly tapped him on the forehead.
"You can't kill them. And not just because you shouldn't go around killing people randomly- you literally can't."
Was this person stronger than him? He'd become as strong as he needed to if it would save his husband. But he'd let the murdering come later. For now, he still had to help the man wake up.
"Fine," Luo Binghe huffed. "But how would they even know if you said anything?"
"They would know."
"What, are they some kind of god?!"
The exclamation wasn't quite meant seriously, but it was apparently taken as such.
"… I'm not completely sure, but honestly, more-or-less."
"WHAT?!"
"Your father was a heavenly demon, is it really so hard to believe?!"
"I… guess not?"
Thrown off-guard yet again, Luo Binghe spent a few minutes thinking before a new idea popped into his head.
"Well, what if we ask it?"
"Huh?"
"If it's always listening to you, it will surely hear you if you request permission to talk about forbidden topics!"
"I… don't really know if that will work," Shen Qingqiu shook his head. "I mean, it'll probably say 'no', and besides that, I did already tell you that it's not just because I can't say certain things. It's also just plain hard to talk about anyway."
"It's worth trying, though, isn't it?" Luo Binghe asked while activating his puppy-dog eyes. "And even if it's still hard, at least if it lets you, it won't be impossible, right?"
Shen Qingqiu sighed.
"Oh, alright. We can ask. But don't blame me if something goes wrong."
Luo Binghe shot him a smile, glad to have made some small amount of progress, and Shen Qingqiu took in a deep breath.
"System?"
The name his husband spoke was unrecognizable, so this being must not be any kind of well-known god, and Luo Binghe was left not knowing what to expect. He half-expected there to be no response, while the other half expected a person to appear, but instead, Luo Binghe saw a new glowing rectangle pop up in the air in front of them.
[Hello, valued customer! Would you like to check your achievements again?]
The words that showed up in the rectangle were accompanied by the same disembodied voice from earlier.
"No," Shen Qingqui responded with annoyance. "We… have a question."
Well, whatever form this god-being took, Luo Binghe wasn't going to be intimidated away from helping his Shizun. It didn't look all that powerful, anyways.
"Can Shizun please be able to speak freely without you stopping him?" Luo Binghe blurted out before the 'System' could respond.
The System remained silent for a long moment, but eventually the words on the rectangle changed.
.
.
.
.
[Since it is the protagonist making the request, it has been granted! All penalties for speaking about ~Forbidden Knowledge~ have been removed! Enjoy!]
Shen Qingqiu stared at the rectangle in obvious shock.
"Seriously, it was that easy?! Are you just trying to undermine me because I said you wouldn't agree?!"
[As the protagonist is the power source, his requests hold more weight.]
"Stupid thing…"
[Please enjoy the newly-unlocked features! New Quest Unlocked: 'Life-Changing Therapy Session: True Love Solves Everything if You Use it Like a Brick'! :3]
With that, the rectangle disappeared, and Luo Binghe grabbed his husband to pull him into a tight hug. Despite the confusing words the being spoke, he understood the gist of it- it said 'yes'!
"See?! You can say whatever you want now!" he spoke gleefully. "Even if it's difficult, won't you at least try now that you can?"
Shen Qingqiu tensed but eventually melted into the embrace, taking a long time to answer.
"Alright. I'll try. But I can't promise I'll instantly become an open book."
"That's okay!"
Luo Binghe kissed him out of happiness, feeling as though he'd finally gotten through to his husband. Though the kiss wasn't very long, it was one of the sweetest they'd shared in a long time.
"I suppose I'll start with something easy first," his Shizun said nervously.
Luo Binghe's ears perked up, waiting to hear what he was going to say.
"My name is Shen Yuan."
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Some time later, Luo Binghe woke up from his slumber, and for a moment, he felt his chest tighten at the sight of Shen Qingqiu- Shen Yuan- still unconscious beside him. But less than a minute later, the man's eyes fluttered open, and he blearily looked up at him.
"Binghe…," he spoke slowly. "I'm back."
This time, the tears Luo Binghe shed were those of happiness, and he immediately kissed his husband again, the lips feeling much more familiar under his touch.
"Shizun! Shizun! I love you! Thank the heavens you're back!"
Of course, the commotion was loud enough to summon the occupants of the other room, who upon hearing noises suggesting that Luo Binghe was successful, quickly charged in. They were immediately greeted with the sight of the demon lord practically sitting on top of his husband, but at least they could see that nothing indecent was happening.
"Binghe, let me sit up," Shen Qingqiu requested, more because he was embarrassed than because he really wanted to sit up all that badly.
Even still, Luo Binghe got up and helped his husband sit, seeing as he was still feeling the effects of the qi deviation and needed the assistance.
"Holy shit, it actually worked!" Shang Qinghua gasped, only to be immediately whacked by Liu Qingge.
"Don't make it sound like you were so unsure!"
"Well, I mean, I wasn't, but I figured it was worth a try if he was gonna die anyway," Shang Qinghua shrugged.
"You-!"
"It's good to have you back, Qingqiu-shidi," Yue Qingyuan cut off the fighting with a relieved sigh.
"Um… Yeah," Shen Qingqiu replied awkwardly, suddenly feeling like he had been a bit too dramatic, even though he couldn't exactly control it.
He felt like maybe he should try to get up or something, but as soon as he moved, Mu Qingfang sent a glare at him.
"Don't you dare try to get up. You may be awake, but you're nowhere near healthy," he scolded. "I'm going to keep treating you, and you're staying right there until I say so. Understand?"
Feeling like a young child with his hand caught in the cookie jar, Shen Qingqiu nodded.
"Good. Now drink this."
He choked down the disgusting medication without complaint, even if he kind of wanted to. Picking up on his disgust anyway, Luo Binghe offered to make him something sweet later to make up for it.
Shen Qingqiu just patted his head.
Maybe he would end up okay after all.
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Even still, it took a long time for Shen Yuan to really succeed in opening up more than he already had, finding that talking about the more upsetting topics was sometimes enough to send him into a panic attack or make him dissociate for a few hours. He was also quite hesitant about saying too much about being from another world, really only ever discussing it with Shang Qinghua, and slowly, with his husband. At first, the demon lord really did have an extremely hard time wrapping his head around the idea that his husband was originally from a different world, and one where he was a character in a novel, no less! He'd tried to soften that blow by theorizing that, maybe, 'someone' in his original world had just caught pieces of this world or a similar one in a dream or something because he was quite certain that this world was full of real people at this point (and he didn't want to consider that Shang Qinghua might be some kind of a god). It was a little easier for him to understand when he reminded him of that time the 'other Luo Binghe' showed up and explained that that one was the same one as in the novel.
That helped him understand, but once Luo Binghe eventually figured out that the version of him who had ripped off Shen Qingqiu's legs in the dreamscape had been that one, and even worse, that it had actually happened, he came very close to destroying a mountain range (thankfully not Cang Qiong Mountain, at least).
"So that other time you met that he talked about- he tore your limbs off?!"
"Well…"
"…I am going to find a way to repair Xin Mo, track him, and skin him alive."
"If you touch a single piece of that sword again, I am divorcing you. Learn your lesson!"
That particular conversation made Luo Binghe cry a lot, and it also ended up igniting a second conversation about who the original Shen Qingqiu was and why exactly Luo Binghe hadn't been able to find him in the other world. It made the demon lord feel conflicted, considering that the man had abused him during his childhood but was also (sort of) the love of his life. And based on the brief snippets of what he'd seen in the dreamscape, warped by his husband's mind as they were, he could at least understand a little why he was how he was, even if not totally forgive the original.
(These conversations also tended to give Luo Binghe a few identity crises of his own, so they had to work through that together as well.)
Now, Luo Binghe had accepted it enough that he could even sometimes make a joke about the other world, questioning if 'Luo Binghe' had been his favorite character when he'd read the novel. That had earned him a declaration of being 'Shameless!' and a hit with his fan, but Shen Qingqiu eventually blushed and said that he preferred 'his' version of Luo Binghe better.
Which, of course, led to the half-demon becoming insufferable for the next few days.
The two of them also ended up working on the traumas they had inflicted on each other together, rather than simply just sweeping the past under the rug. It led to some intense arguments, something they rarely had before, but by the time they'd dealt with it all, their relationship ended up stronger than it had ever been.
Shen Qingqiu also started to speak with Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge a bit, though not as much as he talked with his husband. Mostly, the two of them offered companionship, which had its own place in his healing process.
He'd talked considerably more with Mu Qingfang, who had added on small therapy sessions to the end of each time he cleared his meridians. He always neglected to mention anything about being from another world, seeing as the Qian Cao Peak Lord would still immediately declare him insane if he did that, but he did disclose other things. His disconnection with his body and the discomfort he felt looking in the mirror. The continuing upsetting content of his dreams. The way he still sometimes hurt himself by accident when he was in a state. In some ways, as much as it was difficult, it did help.
And then there was Shang Qinghua, the person who had known his origins first, as well as the person who wrote this dumbfuck novel in the first place. At least being the author made it so he could usually help Shen Yuan sort through things, particularly what was Shen Jiu's backstory, what happened to him, and what must have never happened at all.
"I still can't believe that the System just let you start talking about it," Shang Qinghua huffed. "I guess the powers of the protagonist really are endless, huh?"
"You're telling me," Shen Yuan sighed in response. "If we had tried to say anything before, it would have penalized the crap out of us!"
"I know, right?! The protagonist really is OP!"
Things still weren't perfect, but they never really were, were they? He still had bad days, still got upset, and though it was a little more rare, he still had the occasional qi deviation. Maybe he always would.
But through it all, he had his friends and his husband at his side, and well.
That was as close to perfect as he could get, now wasn't it?
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Well, here we are at the end! I hope y'all enjoyed the story!
Thanks for reading :3
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