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Originally written between 2005 and 2008. Revised in September 2023.
First Kiss
The repairs were finally, completely done.
Voyager had needed to perform repairs many times before, but these were different. These repairs were needed following battle with another Federation ship, another Starfleet ship. One of their own. They'd never faced that before, never imagined they might, never thought it could happen this far from home – if at all.
Many of the repairs this time had been as much psychological as they were physical.
Neelix, in his self-appointed role as morale officer – and, truthfully, never needing much of an excuse – had sponsored a get-together in the Mess Hall. Nearly everyone who was off duty had come, needing to expiate the nervous energy worked up during their conflict with the Equinox.
The party had started with an air of forced joviality, but as the various knots of people had formed and re-formed, the atmosphere had relaxed into something more normal. Now, there were only the sights and sounds of talking, eating, laughing. A re-unified crew was celebrating the survival of another trial together.
Well, mostly re-unified, thought the Doctor. In one corner, Seven of Nine stood alone, sipping a glass of champagne.
A few weeks ago, he wouldn't have hesitated to approach her, striking up a conversation, reminding her about the last time she'd tried champagne. But now, though, things were different. Not long before, he'd genuinely hurt her feelings with an ill-advised wager. Then, due to his own carelessness, he'd proven vulnerable to alterations in his programming that had caused her considerable physical pain. They could, in fact, have easily caused her death.
She'd accepted his apologies both times, and had helped him develop security algorithms to address the programming weaknesses. She'd even met him in the holodeck a few times to practice singing. Despite her sometimes-abrasive personality, she'd proven to be remarkably forgiving.
But he wasn't sure he was quite ready to forgive himself.
Nor was he sure what made him more uncomfortable: the memory of his actions, or the feelings that had come to light during recent weeks.
As he watched her, keenly feeling the distance between them but with no idea how to address it, Seven took another sip of the champagne. Her gaze traveled across the room, coming to rest on two crewmembers who were holding hands, laughing into each other's eyes, and stealing kisses whenever they thought no one was looking. Seven's obvious curiosity was rather ill-concealed, even for her.
Then she took an unsteady step, reaching toward a chair for balance.
Oh, no, thought the Doctor, pushing aside his ruminations as he walked over to her and spoke in a low tone. "You're staring, Seven. That usually isn't considered polite."
"They are making a very inappropriate display of public affection," she announced. Her voice was uneven.
He glanced again at the couple, who were now engaged in a passionate embrace. "Yes, they are. But it still isn't polite to stare. Come on. I'll get you to sickbay."
"I do not require medical assistance at this time."
"You've been drinking champagne again," he replied. "Don't you remember what happened the last time you did that?"
She gave him a cool look. "That was an aberration. I do not usually succumb to the deleterious effects of alcohol."
He sighed. "There are many documented cases of humans reacting more quickly to champagne than to other alcoholic beverages. You appear to be one of them. Now, come on." He was still keeping his voice low, hoping to avoid a scene.
"I do not wish to comply."
"Sev-en." He emphasized each syllable. "I don't have my med kit with me, but I could ask Ensign Vorik to nerve-pinch you and beam you to sickbay." That earned him a shocked look. "I'd really rather not cause you any embarrassment, though."
Her expression had become haughty, with no small amount of hostility mixed in. "Very well. I will comply, but only to avoid causing a spectacle. I am not intoxicated."
"Whatever works," he murmured as he led her out of the Mess Hall.
She was quiet as they walked down the corridor and boarded a turbolift. But as it started, she lost her balance, grabbing for a handrail. The Doctor steadied her other arm. "I suppose now you're going to tell me that the inertial dampeners are malfunctioning."
He'd meant the comment rhetorically, but she answered it anyway. "Perhaps I am…at less than peak status."
"Well, you won't be for long. We'll be in sickbay in a couple of minutes."
She nodded, seemingly lost in thought. He realized that his hand was still on her arm. Suddenly feeling awkward, he dropped it to his side.
"Did you know," she asked abruptly, "that I have never been kissed?"
He'd suspected as much. "No."
"It appears to be an activity that is customary in dating. Why was it not included in our social lessons?"
He had to consciously override the programming loop that would otherwise have responded with a blush. "It isn't a necessary activity. Only a voluntary one. I chose not to include it."
The turbolift came to a halt and the doors snapped open. He waved her into the corridor, glad that no one else was around.
"Why not?" asked Seven, seemingly oblivious to the publicity of their surroundings.
He didn't catch the programming loop to prevent the blush this time, but she was apparently oblivious to that, too. "Kissing is a somewhat personal activity, Seven. That's why it's usually done in private."
"Have you ever been kissed?" she asked as they entered Sickbay.
"Yes," he answered shortly. "Now, get up on a bio-bed, Seven. I'll prepare a hypospray."
She followed him to a medical cart. "Was it a pleasurable experience?"
Now he was even more uncomfortable than he had been in the Mess Hall. "The answer is, as you might say, irrelevant. Now do as I say and get up on a bio-bed. You'll be back to your old self in no time."
"You are avoiding the subject. I wish to satisfy my curiosity: was kissing a pleasurable experience?"
Locating the right ampoule, he forced shaking hands to snap it into place. "Seven, this is a totally inappropriate subject for conver-"
She caught his arm, pulled him around, and kissed him full on the lips.
Sickbay seemed to disappear. Time seemed to come to a standstill. His awareness became completely focused on the taste of her mouth against his. The hypospray clattered to the floor, forgotten. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered, nothing even existed except Seven of Nine and the silky feeling of her hair against his fingers and the warm strength of her waist as he slid his arms around her. She shivered slightly, and he realized that she was indeed feeling pleasure at this, her first kiss.
Her first kiss. Drawing her body closer against his, the Doctor pulled back, slightly, gentling the pressure against her mouth, lightly tracing her lips with his own. She gasped softly and parted hers, shivering again when the tip of his tongue slipped into her mouth. Good, he thought detachedly. He wanted this to be a pleasant experience for her, wanted to be the one to give her pleasure, wanted…her.
When the kiss came to its natural end, his breathing was as ragged as hers.
Seven raised trembling fingers to her lips, tracing them in an unconscious imitation of the Doctor's actions. "That was indeed a pleasurable experience." She moved her fingers to brush his lips. "Why did we not do it before?"
"I don't know." His eyes fell to her mouth, and he moved to kiss her again –
And then jerked back, gasping, as he fully realized what had just happened. She was intoxicated, and he'd taken advantage of her…
Dropping his arms, he looked frantically around and saw the hypospray. He felt her hand touch his shoulder when he bent to pick it up. "Doctor?"
Straightening, he administered the injection. "I'm sorry, Seven. I never should have let that happen."
"Why not?"
"It wasn't appropriate. I'm sorry," he repeated. "It won't happen again."
She appeared genuinely confused. "I do not understand."
Recovering some of his aplomb, the Doctor gently pushed her onto the nearest bio-bed. "I'll explain when you're feeling better. Now, get some rest. It will take the medication about twenty minutes to go into effect."
"Acknowledged." She closed her eyes.
He watched her for a few minutes and then slipped into his office, sinking into the chair and burying his face in his hands. He had already harmed her more than once during the past few weeks, and now, it had happened again. What was wrong with him? There didn't seem to be any good answers anymore.
Several minutes later, Seven stirred, pushing herself up on her arms. "Doctor?"
He walked out to her. "How are you feeling?"
"Unsettled." She paused for a moment. "Why am I here?"
"Don't you remember?"
"My short-term memory is…" she trailed off. "Unclear."
"You got into the champagne again." Finding a scanner, he ran it over her midsection. "You're doing fine now," he continued, "although I should have let you bear the full brunt of its effects as a lesson. You don't have any tolerance for it, Seven."
"I shall remember that in the future. Was my behavior…" she trailed off again. "More than mildly unacceptable?"
"No. You were fine." This worked, he decided. Keeping his demeanor crisp and business-like would also keep it appropriate.
"I am gratified to hear that." She sat up and slid down from the bio-bed, swaying slightly.
He steadied her with the lightest of touches. "You should probably regenerate for a while. The alcohol inhibitor can have some mild side effects."
"I will do that. Thank you for your assistance, Doctor."
"Anytime." He breathed a quiet sigh of relief as he watched her departing form. Apparently, she didn't remember what had happened. That was probably for the best.
But then, she stopped, turned around, and walked back to face him. "Doctor, I believe I owe you an apology."
"An apology?"
"For my behavior."
"Seven, I told you before that your behavior was fine."
"I appreciate your kindness," she replied, "but you are incorrect. My behavior was not 'fine.' I created an extremely embarrassing situation."
Damn, he thought. She had remembered after all.
He sighed again, and then suddenly, the right words came to him. "I never should have let it continue. I'm sorry, too. I just…" he trailed off. "I just wish your first kiss could have been more special."
"I accept your apology. And," she said, voice dropping slightly. "I hope you will accept mine."
"Of course."
She nodded and turned to walk out again. But she stopped before reaching the door, although this time she only half-turned to look at him sideways.
"Was there something else?" he asked.
There was a long, thoughtful pause before she answered. "My first kiss was special. It was a very pleasant experience. I am…" she trailed off again. "I am glad it was you, Doctor." Her eyes met his, and a small smile appeared on her face. "Perhaps…perhaps we can try it again, sometime. When I am not intoxicated."
This time, words failed him. Utterly. The door slid shut behind her before he could think of a reply.