"You know, I never thought I'd say this to you, Scully… but you smell bad," Mulder said, smirking slightly as he walked past her, bringing the umbrella with him.
"Hey," she called after him and he turned around, a small smile on his face.
"Yes?" he asked, waiting for her to catch up to him before they began walking again.
"It's not as if you smell like a bed of roses. In case you'd forgotten, we're both covered in…"
"Shit," he said, grimacing as he shook his head. "Do you think that could've been something I forgot?"
"Just stating the obvious considering your statement. People in glass houses…" she said, raising her eyebrows.
"Need to invest in curtains," he replied and for a second she stared at him in confusion. Then she laughed and shook her head. "You know, because they can be seen by everyone? Especially if they're naked?"
"Yeah, I got it," she said, laughing again and he nodded with a smile. "Where are we going?"
"Well, considering that our cars are trapped by fire trucks and police vehicles, and I would very much like to not smell like I rolled in a pile of horse shit, I was going to see if we could hitch a ride back to my motel."
"Oh. Good plan." She stopped walking and turned back to look toward her car. "Let me grab my bag."
"Here," he said, handing her the umbrella. "You do that and I'll secure us a ride. Or, if i can't, I suppose we're walking."
"God, I hope not."
She hurried to the car and opened the trunk, globs of manure falling off as she did.
"Revolting," she murmured, taking her bag out and closing the trunk again.
"Ma'am," a firefighter said, walking over to her. "You won't be able to get your car out for a while yet."
"I know. I just needed to get my bag so I can shower and change, because…" She gestured to herself and she saw his nose wrinkle in disgust. "Yeah. Imagine that being on you."
"You… yes, ma'am," he said, nodding at her and walking away.
"That's what I thought," she said under her breath.
She zigzagged through the firefighters and police officers, making her way back to Mulder.
"Hey," he said as she handed the umbrella back to him and they stood beside each other. "The fire chief has graciously offered to take us back to the motel."
"That's good."
"It is," he said, looking at her and she frowned.
"Is there something else I should know?"
"We have to ride in the back of the pickup. He doesn't want the smell getting into his truck. So, if you don't mind…" He shrugged and she did the same.
"Look at the state of me. Of you. Honestly, why would I care? At the moment, I think it's probably the best place for us."
"You do smell bad, as I previously stated. I think it's a wise decision."
"Fuck off," she said, flipping him off. He laughed as she shook her head.
"You folks ready?" the chief asked and they both nodded, following him to his truck.
Mulder climbed in first, offering Scully a hand as she climbed up. The chief took her bag and put it in the cab with him.
"The rain is likely to pick up while we're driving. Wouldn't want your clean clothes to get wet."
"How kind of him to worry about that," Scully said, sitting down and leaning against the front of the bed. "Yet, he's fine with us getting rained on while we're driving."
"Free coat wash," Mulder said, sitting beside her and closing the umbrella, knowing it would not work well while they were driving.
"Only thing worse than the smell I'm experiencing now, is the smell it will have when it gets wet."
"Hmm," he said, resting his head back and closing his eyes.
By the time they got back to the motel, they were both wet, the rain beginning to fall harder as they scrambled out of the truck.
"Thanks for the lift," Mulder said, taking Scully's bag from him and ushering her inside the motel.
They walked past the front desk clerk who gave them a confused look, but said nothing.
"Here," he said, taking out his key and opening the door. "Go take a shower." He put her bag in the bathroom and walked out. "I'll go see if they have any trash bags for these clothes."
"Okay. I'll try to be quick."
She closed and locked the bathroom, turned on the shower to warm the water, stripped off all of her clothes and left them beside the sink in a heaping pile.
Washing twice, she stepped out of the shower feeling like a new person. As she dried off and dressed, she wondered how Bambi and Doctor Ivanov were getting along.
"Scully?" Mulder said, knocking on the door.
"Almost finished. Nearly yours," she said.
"That's good, but I was just going to say that I got some trash bags."
"Okay great."
She ran a brush through her hair, hung up her towel, grabbed her bag and opened the door.
"If you take this, I'll take a trash bag," she said, holding out her bag, but he shook his head.
"I'm still dirty and smelly. You're clean and you smell good. I can bag them up for you."
"You don't have to-"
"I know," he said, smiling as he walked into the bathroom with two trash bags and closed the door.
She sighed, looking around the nondescript motel room, the morning light pouring in.
"Hmm," she hummed, suddenly feeling very tired, the night catching up to her.
She turned on the television and adjusted the bed covers. Sitting down, she leaned against the headboard, as she heard the shower begin running.
She woke to Mulder, pulling the comforter over her, the room slightly darker as the curtains were closed.
"Oh! Hey," she said, attempting to sit up, but he stopped her.
"I just talked to the sheriff and the cars are still on site."
"Mmm," she moaned, closing her eyes and pressing further into the pillow.
When did I lay down? she thought with a frown.
Oh, who cares? came another thought and she nodded, as she exhaled.
"He also said, the fire station agreed to wash them for us, so he will have them towed over there."
"No one wants to get inside?" she asked and she heard him chuckle as he moved around the room.
"I'd say we've got some time. You want to get some food?"
"I want to sleep. Someone kept calling me when I attempted to do so at the time most people dedicate to sleeping."
"He sounds like an ass," he said and she smiled.
"He can be at times. Especially when he hangs up on you, leaving you wondering if he's still alive."
"Yeah, sounds kinda douchey."
"Hmm," she hummed, not saying anything further and he chuckled softly.
The bed suddenly shifted and she opened her eyes in surprise.
"What are you doing?" she asked, turning her head and seeing him lying on the bed.
"Well, as you mentioned, you didn't get much sleep last night. The same thing happened to me, oddly enough. Seeing you sleeping here when I got out of the shower, it dawned on me that I am also quite tired."
"Hmm," she hummed, turning her head back and closing her eyes.
"We have some time for a quick nap," he said tiredly and she yawned, burrowing further into the comforter and nodding.
The ringing of a phone woke her, something heavy holding her in place when she attempted to get up and answer it.
"Mmm," Mulder moaned close to her ear, his arm around her tightening its hold. "Not yet."
"Mulder," she said, nudging him until he woke up, and moved his arm off of her midsection.
"Sorry," he said, his voice sleepy and low.
"Your phone was ringing. Maybe it was the sheriff."
"Maybe," he said in the same tone, not rising from the bed.
"Mulder. Get up."
He grumbled as he got up, picking up his phone and calling the sheriff back while Scully stayed wrapped in the warm blankets.
Thirty minutes later, the sheriff picked them up in front of the motel room and then dropped them at the fire station, chuckling under his breath every so often.
"At least you both smell better today," he teased.
The outsides of the cars were clean, though the inside still smelled and would need a thorough deep clean once they were returned to the rental agency.
"This will be an interesting one to expense," Scully said as they walked from the rental desk and into the airport. "I don't think there's space for- a building full of manure exploded onto my rental car."
"Or we don't say anything. And Skinner will never know."
"But my credit card will," she said, bumping her shoulder into him.
"Hmm… well," he said, opening the door for her. "Then let me treat you to breakfast. It's the least I can do."
"The very least," she muttered and he laughed, nodding as she walked past him.
She shook her head in reply as she thought about everything that had happened in the past twenty four hours.
Yeah, buying her breakfast was the least he could do.