To Love at all is to Love Entirely

by alex the bordercollie

"Cada parte de mí está equivocada. My mind, my heart, even my gift, it's all wrong." Bruno spat bitterly as he hugged his knees. Tears were streaming down his face now. "I know it feels like the world has no place for you. Por favor, Te lo ruego, don't ever give up looking for one. If you can't find a place then makeone, pero nunca te rindas."

20. Masochism

︵‿୨ - March 27 1951 - ୧‿︵

Wilfredo gasped as he made it to ten. The last rep of the last set of his workout. He'd opted to finish with the push-ups today. He grunted as he collapsed onto the dusty wood floor. His arms giving out from under him as soon as he knew the ordeal was over. All his willpower fleeing him in an instant.

Wilfredo let out an exhausted groan and raked his fingers through his sweaty hair. Rubbing his face against the floorboards. He could feel his heartbeat pounding in his skull. His chest ached and it was difficult to breathe. He needed better cardio. He was very well aware of that fact. Unfortunately, he lacked a good place to run. He wasn't coordinated enough to trust himself on the uneven mountain trails and he couldn't bring himself to go for a job in town. The thought of other people seeing him sweating and panting like a dying animal made him want to vomit. He was disgusting and he didn't want anyone else to see him like that.

Wilfredo pressed his palms into his temples. Feeling the pulsing heat under his skin. Once he managed to get enough air into his lungs to move he pressed against the floor one last time to lift himself up. Sitting back on his knees and taking another break before moving again. He hated exercise. Hated it so much. He felt miserable and sick every time. He felt like a greasy ball of disgusting flesh.

"Está bien, está hecho, ya está, solo relájate." Wilfredo muttered to himself as he pulled his heavy body off the floor. He collected his glasses off his nightstand and a change of clean clothes.

Wilfredo poked his head out his bedroom door and listened for Robledoo. Checking to be sure he hadn't come home early. He was leaving the house more often now to spend time with his other elderly friends. Wilfredo didn't have a consistent routine for exercising. He hated the randomness of it and would much rather do it at the same time every day. He couldn't always predict when Jacqueline would be home or Bruno would drop in. Diego could wake up from a nap earlier than expected. Wilfredo didn't want to be seen and went out of his way to find opportunities when he had the house mostly to himself. Even then occasionally Jacqueline would catch him in the act.

Diego had left this morning after breakfast. Jacqueline was dropping in at random less often since the council cracked the whip on her. She was gradually starting to get more time off to relax and socialize but Wilfredo knew Jacqueline was working today. It was almost lunch time and Bruno hadn't shown up. Wilfredo suspected Bruno might be spending time with family. He didn't really care too much what he was doing right now. Wilfredo was just grateful he had enough time to torture himself in private.

Wilfredo hobbled down the stairs on shaky legs to the bathroom. He'd skipped out on breakfast and had no plans on eating lunch. Over the holidays he'd been pressured by Diego and others to exceed his calorie limit. He needed to fast and try to burn it off. He'd been working hard since he got here to try and slim down and was determined not to let the festivities undo that hard work. Stripping naked in the bathroom was unpleasant. He tried not to look too closely at his body. The mirror taunted him. The cold bath however was a relief. Rinsing the heat from his skin. He didn't let himself relax for to long however before aggressively scrubbing off the thick film of sweat. It was only once he got out of the tub that he was met with the fruits of his labor.

Wilfredo put on the rest of his clothes and saved his belt for last. Undergarments, slacks, button down, sweater vest, socks shoes, even his favorite cardigan took priority over his belt. It was always a bit anxiety-inducing. Every time he got to his belt he'd take a deep breath before checking to see which notch he was on. Wilfredo slipped the strip of leather through the loops of his pants. A hit of euphoria knocked the wind out of him when he confirmed what he had suspected upon dressing himself that morning.

Wilfredo would need to poke a new hole in his belt soon. The tension his his chest melted away at the sight. He couldn't help but smile giddily himself. He was making progress. His body wasn't perfect but it was getting better. He was doing something. Making a difference in his life. It was small, especially in the grand scheme of it all. Especially in the face of his career prospects and dire financial straits. Despite it all, he felt elated. At least there was one thing he had some control over and that was a comfort.

︵‿୨ -❇- ୧‿︵

Once Wilfredo was clean and redressed, his hair dried and fluffed and meticulously brushed, he headed out to the library. Diego said he likely wouldn't be home for lunch and Jacqueline wasn't meant to be either. There was no story hour today so no need to make snacks. He didn't need to cook so figured he could dedicate his time to going over his resume again. He paused and stared at the desk for a moment. His resume waiting in the top drawer. Wilfredo could just run a few errands around the library first…

There were no books in the return basket. Searching the shelves he couldn't find any books that had been misplaced by inattentive patrons. He and Bruno had scrubbed the place clean a few days ago after Pepa flooded it so there was no accumulated dust to be cleaned. He didn't have any prior engagements to attend to today. Nothing to do but address the looming presence in the room. Maybe he could go for a walk in town and look for someplace to volunteer? Surely there was someone who could give him something to do.

No. Wilfredo was still currently unemployed. He wasn't getting paid to work here. He needed to focus on finding a real job. On real work.

The job he was depending on getting had rejected Wilfredo because someone had found out where he applied and leaked his criminal record. He still didn't know for a fact who was behind that. He sat down at his desk and let his head fall in his hands. It probably wasn't his parents doing. They had no motivation to sabotage him and if they were hoping to pressure him into coming home they didn't need to air his dirty laundry to do that.

Despite everything that happened Wilfredo knew full well he would go home to Bogotá in a heartbeat if his parents asked him to. He knew they knew it too. Julio's wife was rather vindictive at the time the whole affair had come to light. That was then. She'd have no reason to track him down and start meddling with his life now. Not after all these years.

There was one person from their old life who knew they were living in Villavicencio, but Wilfredo wasn't sure how he could have proved such claims about Wilfredo without access to the criminal records. Wilfredo hoped the school wouldn't have blindly believed such accusations without evidence.

Wilfredo raked his fingers through his hair and sighed. He opened up the top drawer of the desk and brought out his resume again. Time to comb over it and search for any tiny discrepancy that could be improved upon. He brought out one of his notebooks and kept repeatedly rewriting the same sentences over and over again in slightly different ways. Trying to think of the best possible ways to phrase things. Not too long-winded or too shot, not underselling but not braggadocious, friendly not childish, professional but not dower. After glancing back and his resume, comparing to his notes, writing, and writing, he looked back eventually only to realize he's looped right back around to the very phrasing he'd already written down.

Wilfredo was going in circles. He took off his glasses to rub his eyes. It wouldn't matter how good his resume looked if someone was out to make him unhirable. He'd only ever worked at universities before but perhaps it was time to start applying to high schools. Their standards would be lower and they might overlook any salacious rumors if it meant they could get someone well trained on their staff. The pay would be a pittance compared to what he was used to but he would be getting paid. He'd have to adapt to a more modest living. Thought really… that wouldn't be so bad.

Wilfredo leaned back in his chair as he considered his options. Drumming his fingers along the desk. He liked working with kids. It was only ever pride that kept him working at a university level. He enjoyed living in El Encanto. He was sharing a tiny bedroom with his sister. Living a more modest lifestyle than he had since the war ended. It was nice living in a quaint little town. He could see himself living a happy life teaching high schoolers and coming home to a small apartment. Maybe now really was the time to give up any attachment to the lifestyle he was raised to expect and embrace something simple.

Maybe he could just be content and happy for once…

Though it was still no guarantee a high school would take him. Or that they wouldn't kick him out if the rumors made it to them. There was no guarantee something wouldn't come along that sent that happy life crashing down around his ears. He never could stay anywhere for long.

He left Cartagena to fight nazis.

Medellin suited him well, but a bit too well. He saw friends and intimate companions violently assaulted by police and fled in a panic before there was a chance the school could learn he'd been arrested.

He thought Barranquilla might have been a permanent home. The school was perfect, but, then the riots in Bogotá… He knew he needed to be closer to his family after that. Even if they still didn't want him.

Then of course… Villavicencio. Wilfredo still couldn't believe he'd been conned out of all he had. He was struggling to scrape the money together to pay their rent when Jacqueline had to go and poke a hornet's nest. If it hadn't been for her he could have sorted it out. He could have salvaged things.

He could have fixed things…

He could fix this.

He stared down at his resume.

He could fix this. Right? He had to. He didn't have a choice. He needed to fix this. He needed to find them a home. He needed to take care of his sister. Jacqueline was all he had. Bruno was wonderful, but he wasn't forever… Wilfredo couldn't stay. He couldn't keep Bruno. No matter what happened, for better or worse, he would always have Jacqueline.

The sudden creak of the front door snapped Wilfredo out of his spiraling thoughts. He shot up at his desk and shoved his journal and resume into the drawer. He grabbed the knitting project he'd been working on from the basket beside him. Tossing the pattern book onto his desk, already open to the page he had bookmarked. By the time he registered who had entered the library, he was already leaning back in his chair and looking over the pattern book with bamboo knitting needles in his hands.

"Wilfredo." A girl's voice chimed. It was just Ayla.

Wilfredo had worried Jacqueline might have come by to surprise him. He didn't want her seeing him fretting over his resume. He didn't want her knowing he was looking for work. That he didn't have a plan for after they left El Encanto. Wilfredo already sent out applications for work last month when he went into the city with the trading crew. There realistically wasn't very much he could do right now besides wait to see if he heard back from anyone. The next trade trip was coming up soon and it would be the last one before he had to leave town. If he didn't have any job offers in his mailbox he would need to scramble to find at least something temporary and a place for him and Jacqueline to stay in Villavicencio.

But no, it was just Ayla, and Camilo apparently…

Wilfredo looked down at his pattern book through his lenses as the two teens trotted up to his desk. "Buenos días Ayla." He greeted calmly without looking up. Pretending to be absorbed in what he was doing as though he'd been at the task for a while. "Cómo puedo ayudarte?"

Ayla slapped down a sizable journal on his desk. Blocking his view of the pattern book. "Remember that research project I told you about?" She asked.

Wilfredo looked up and adjusted his glasses. Taking in the excitement and confidence on the girl's face. Camilo was rocking on his heels behind her. "The paranormal case study?" Wilfredo asked.

"Mh-hm." Ayla replied with a prideful little hum. "I've almost finished investigating every alleged supernatural phenomenon in the valley." She told him.

The girl looked so pleased with herself as she flipped through the pages of her journal to show Wilfredo her notes. "I interviewed friends and neighbors to record alleged supernatural phenomena at each site before investigating and recording every phenomenon I experienced and every one I didn't." She explained. Each page of Ayla's notes had the name of the location at the top with a description of local legends and a chart containing a list of alleged phenomena. The next column had checkmarks for confirmed phenomena and the next for ones that hadn't been confirmed. The last column contained any non-supernatural explanations for said phenomena. These explanations would be prefaced with either Empedernido: or Especulativo:

Wilfredo set his knitting project down on the desk and picked up the journal. He combed through the various sites Ayla had investigated. "Very thorough." Wilfredo complimented. Fixing his glasses and examining Ayla's lovely handwriting and straight, neat, lines. Each chart page came with a set of sister pages recording related interviews. "Very organized."

Ayla beamed. "I've almost finished my investigation. There's just one more location on my list but-"

"Are you making stuffed animals?" Camilo interrupted incredulously.

Wilfredo looked up from Ayla's journal to see Camilo poking at his knitting project. Wilfredo set the journal down and picked up his project again. Removing the half-finished knitted rat from Camilo's hands. "Just learning a new skill." Wilfredo answered. He held up the pattern book he'd been learning from. "I found this here in your town's library when I moved in. Thought it might be fun to try."

Camilo raised an eyebrow at him then turned to Ayla. He leaned back against the desk with a posture Wilfredo supposed was meant to look cool and aloof. "Are you sure you wanna drag this guy along?" Camilo asked her skeptically.

Wilfredo looked down at his project and took a second to remember where he was at. Looking back at the pattern book before resuming his knitting. "And what's that supposed to mean?" He asked Camilo.

Camilo looked back at him with a teasingly apologetic expression. "It's just, Ayla wanted to bring you along to our next stop and you don't really seem like the ghost-hunting type." He explained.

"Oh, I don't, do I?" Wilfredo replied calmly. Leaning back in his chair and knitting away. Completely content with his task. Knitting actually was rather relaxing. A decent way to spend those moments when he had nothing else to occupy his time. It gave him something to focus on to keep the nagging anxiety at bay. While he was rather happy with how his little project was coming along he did suspect he'd get bored of it once he'd mastered the skill. He'd likely never pick it up again. Moving on to learn some other new thing as he often did.

Ayla crossed her arms and huffed. "Don't act like we're partners." She protested. "I let you come along on one investigation and you mistook a parrot for a ghost."

"That thing screamed just like a person." Camilo defended. Blushing slightly and losing his attempted cool guy persona.

Wilfredo simply carried on with his project while they bickered. The book he was learning from had recommended an easier project to start with but Wilfredo was often more ambitious when learning new skills. He liked to skip straight to more advanced and engaging projects. When he saw the little knit kitten in the pattern book he knew he just had to modify it. The little black rat he was making would be a nice parting gift for Bruno when he left. Just something small for Bruno to remember him by.

"My parents said I need an adult chaperone for the last place on my list." Ayla insisted. "No one else in town is willing to take me."

"I can be an adult if you need." Camilo offered flirtatiously. Changing briefly into a much older more muscular version of himself.

Wilfredo stifled to urge to chuckle at Camilo's very ambitious projections for his own future. Knowing how short Félix was Wilfredo doubted Camilo would ever get that tall. Wilfredo cleared his throat to get the boy's attention. "Are you suggesting Ayla lie to her parents?" He challenged.

Camilo spun around and shrunk back into his usual self. A sheepish grin spread across his features. "No…" He replied hesitantly.

"Would you be willing to take me?" Ayla asked Wilfredo.

"Take you where?" Wilfredo replied as he checked the pattern book again. He had an idea for the head and was planning out the modifications in his mind. Visualizing how it should look.

"It's a haunted house just on the edge of the valley. Everyone in town is afraid of that place." Camilo explained. He leaned over the desk. Resting his weight on his elbows. His hands laced in front of him. The smug expression on his face was quite bold. "No lo tomes a mal, but maybe you should just stick to knitting and baking cakes."

Wilfredo looked back at Camilo briefly stunned by the audacity. Wilfredo blinked and pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "Entiendo." He replied simply. He turned his attention back to Ayla with a smile. "I'd be glad to take you. I don't imagine close-minded little boys make for the best research companions." Wilfredo answered sweetly.

Camilo turned red-faced and gawked while Ayla snickered. "Who are you calling close-minded?" Camilo blustered.

Wilfredo shrugged and returned to his knitting. "I just figured since you assume only cowards like to knit and bake you're probably not that open to things that don't fit your preexisting worldview."

Camilo groaned. Utterly exasperated by Wilfredo's lecturing. Ayla hopped up and leaned over the desk to hug Wilfredo. The gesture took him by surprise but he didn't protest. Merely smiled and patted Ayla's arm.

"Gracias Señor! Will you be free Friday night?" Ayla asked him excitedly.

Wilfredo paused for a moment. "Friday night? No… I still have story hour to host, but I suppose I should be free by sundown." He replied.

A faint hesitation struck Wilfredo. He realized he'd likely be staying up late. He was going to be exhausted on Saturday. That would be fun. That said he was a grown adult. Staying up late shouldn't be such a problem for him. He already agreed to chaperone and backing out now would seem suspicious. He'd have to try and squeeze in time for a nap on Friday or he might fall asleep during Saturday tablas and he certainly didn't want that.

"Friday it is." Ayla chirped. She plucked her journal off the desk. "I'll go do a few more interviews around down to see if I can learn anything else about our site."

"Sounds like a plan to me." Wilfredo replied.

Camilo huffed as he watched Ayla trot back out the front door. "Why'd you have to embarrass me like that?" He whined.

"Why do you feel the need to devalue other people to impress your lady friend?" Wilfredo countered as he resumed his knitting.

Camilo looked back at Wilfredo indignantly. "You're the one doing girl hobbies." He snarked.

"I have hobbies." Wilfredo stated flatly. "No one ever said they were for girls." He argued. He got started on the muzzle of his rat. "Though I will say, if you're trying to impress women, maybe insulting their interests isn't the best way to go about it." Just some food for thought. Not that Wilfredo was in the business of courting women himself.

"Ayla doesn't like knitting and making sweets. She likes books and making up homework for herself." Camilo argued.

"She likes research you mean. It's only homework if it's been assigned to you." Wilfredo corrected. He kept his eyes on his hands while he worked to avoid slipping up. "Why is it you're so interested in this girl anyway?" He asked sincerely. "She doesn't really seem like your type."

"I don't have a type." Camilo protested. Leaning back against the desk with his arms crossed and his cheeks puffed. He pouted a lot like his tío. He was a cute boy. Even if he was being a bit pig-headed.

"De verdad?" Wilfredo questioned. "Are you sure about that?"

"I like everybody." Camilo insisted. "And everybody likes me."

"Except for Ayla." Wilfredo countered.

The brief silence that settled between them told Wilfredo all he needed to know. Camilo was a funny and charismatic boy. Wilfredo knew from watching Camilo perform during story hour and the Saturday tablas that he was well-liked among the other kids in town. Small children and fellow teens alike. Camilo also seemed to have a habit of adapting to the needs of whoever was around him. He always turned into someone else to make people laugh. If a child needed a book from a high shelf he'd be someone tall if they were upset and crying he would look like a mother. Whenever he tried to impress Ayla he usually turned into someone else. Someone stronger, more mature, conventionally attractive, and masculine.

He reminded Wilfredo a bit of Julio when they were young. The charming class clown everybody loved. Wilfredo used to envy Julio. To aspire to be popular and loved. Wilfredo still sort of did if he were entirely honest with himself. He put a lot of effort into putting his best self forward at all times. Striving to maintain the image of a charismatic gentleman. Of course, behind closed doors, he was perpetually anxious, excitable, obsessive, irritable… queer…

If people knew what Wilfredo was really like he would be far less accepted in this town than he was. If people know how lazy and selfish and perverse he was…

Wilfredo couldn't help but wonder if Camilo had any faith in people's ability to like him as he was. It used to bother Wilfredo just as much at Camilo's age when people were standoffish or unimpressed. That said people had very good reasons to dislike Wilfredo. He actually had something to hide. Camilo however seemed like a perfectly normal boy. His anxieties and fears were clearly irrational. With luck, he'd outgrow them.

"Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock on wood." Wilfredo heard Bruno chirp outside. Bruno's words were merely soft muttering. Barely heard above the knocking but Wilfredo had become gradually more aware of the words that left Bruno's lips when he knocked.

"Come in Bruno." Wilfredo called. Relaxing back in his chair.

Bruno nudged the door open and poked his head in. "Buenos dias. I meant to stop by earlier but Julieta wanted me to- Oh." He stopped when he noticed Camilo. "Perdona am I interrupting something?" He asked timidly.

"No, I was just leaving." Camilo sighed.

Bruno scurried inside to make space for Camilo to leave and looked back over at Wilfredo. "What's he so upset about?" He asked.

Wilfredo lowered his knitting into his lap. Obscuring his project from Bruno's view so he wouldn't notice what Wilfredo was making. Wilfredo shrugged. "He keeps trying to impress Ayla. I don't think it's working." He stated flatly. Choosing to keep any further observations to himself. It wasn't really his place to telegraph Camilo's struggles. If the boy needed help he would ask for it.

"Oh." Bruno hummed. Sucking in his lips and looking in the direction Camilo left. Bruno awkwardly rubbed at his arm. "I'll try to talk to him later." His eyes darted around a bit before he seemed to remember why he was here. He lifted up his other hand to reveal a picnic basket.

Wilfredo caught the movement of the large wicker basket out of the corner of his eye and looked up from what he was doing.

"Julieta thought today would be a good day for a picnic. She made us lunch." Bruno offered.

Wilfredo looked at the basket. He set his knitting project aside. Combing his fingers through his hair. Torn between his desire not to further sabotage his diet and the need to make Bruno happy. He couldn't just decline the gesture. Not when Bruno already had everything ready.

"Oh uh, she packed enough for Jacqueline too." Bruno added.

︵‿୨ -❇- ୧‿︵

Wilfredo sighed as he reclined back on the grass. Resting up on the hillside. A faint breeze washing over the three of them as they looked down on the town below. It was a lovely day for a picnic. Wilfredo would give Julieta that much.

Bruno's sister had been butting into Wilfredo's diet since that day he passed out outside the library. He really wished she would stop fussing over his eating habits. It really was none of her business. Using Bruno and Jacqueline to manipulate him into eating was sneaky and underhanded but frankly, he had to respect the cunning. Wilfredo would need to come up with more clever ways to get out of these social meals. Luckily for him, he had a trump card. Jacqueline could eat like a horse.

"Mh, buena cosas!"

Jacqueline cooed as he licked the crumbs off her fingers. She made sure to scrape all the stray remnants of her meal together with her hands, leaving nothing behind. Surprisingly she'd actually been working hard today. Helping the agricultural team dig a ditch to separate the sick corn crops Isabela had been treating from the rest of their healthy crop.

Wilfredo had been curious as to why they didn't just burn the sick crops, only to be warned by the other farmers not to suggest such things in earshot of Isabela. She was apparently very attached to her seemingly futile task. Determined to find a way to cure her floral patients. One girl Lucera who was on the agricultural team seemed especially devoted to helping Isabela achieve her goal. It was frankly rather sweet seeing the sense of comradery among the farmers.

It made it quite obvious to him why Jacqueline had dedicated herself to her work today. She liked laughing and cracking jokes with the rest of the team. She wasn't the best at digging ditches but at least this way she could chat with Elonzo and Vicente without arousing too much ire. Especially with Pepa hovering over her shoulder like a hawk.

"You can have my plate if you want, I'm not really hungry." Wilfredo offered. "You've earned it." He took another puff from his cigar and stared up at the clouds. Jacqueline was his perfect excuse to abstain.

"Oh no you don't." Bruno insisted.

Wilfredo peered out the corner of his eye at the frustrated seer. Bruno's cheeks had puffed up with irritation. Just liked Camilo. It really did run in the family. Wilfredo had to restrain the urge to laugh.

"I promised mi hermana I'd make sure you weren't skipping meals again." Bruno admitted with a frustrated whine.

"I knew it." Wilfredo laughed. He took another puff from his cigar. Settling his empty stomach with the taste of chocolate and tobacco. He furrowed his brow as he blew a little smoke ring into the air. "She keeps trying to pawn food off onto me."

Julieta was getting increasingly less subtle. It was almost sweet at first. Not so much now. Wilfredo was getting a bit sick of it. He didn't need Julieta's coddling. One bad day did not a crisis make. Wilfredo wasn't a charity case.

"Su punto?" Bruno asked irritably. Breaking off a piece of meatloaf with his fingers.

Wilfredo tapped his foot against the air for a moment before replying. "I'd appreciate it if she'd stay out of my business. I'm not her responsibility." This shouldn't even need to be said.

"Julieta takes care of people." Bruno defended. "It's just what she does." He held the morsel up to Wilfredo's lips. "Now eat." Bruno commanded.

Wilfredo tried to pull away but Bruno only leaned in closer. Persistently waving it in Wilfredo's face. Finally, after some frustrated grunting, Wilfredo opened his mouth and closed is lips around Bruno's fingers. Irritated by Bruno's persistence and backed into a corner. If Bruno was going to bully him, Wilfredo was content to bully right back. Licking between the slender digits in his mouth for good measure as he pulled away.

Bruno's face flushed a dark crimson. A faint shiver seemed to pass over him as he stared back at Wilfredo wide-eyed. That made Wilfredo smile. Eating was almost worth it if he got to see that reaction.

"Puaj," Jacqueline gagged. "Busca un cuarto. I'm gonna puke if you keep that up."

Please don't say that. The food already felt thick and heavy in Wilfredo's mouth. The thought of swallowing made his stomach turn. Still, he chewed anyway, hoping to get it down in time for a witty comeback.

"Cállate!" Bruno snapped back at her. "You're one to talk."

"That's mi hermano you're flirting with." Jacqueline replied dryly.

Bruno raised an eyebrow at Jacquline and placed a hand on his hip. "Maybe if you learn to keep your hands off mis cuñados I'll do the same por tu hermano." He snapped back.

Wilfredo was briefly stunned by Bruno's boldness. Unsure how he felt about being used as a repellent for his sister's bad behavior. He didn't know what transpired between the two of them when he wasn't around but Bruno and Jacqueline seemed to have developed a language between them.

Jacqueline nearly doubled over laughing. "Sí, sí, tienes razón." She conceded. Waving off Bruno's sassy expression. "Prometo not to flirt with Agustín or Félix."

"Bueno." Bruno nodded. Seemingly satisfied with her response.

Wilfredo finally managed to swallow the rich slop in his mouth. The effect Julieta's cooking had was hard to deny. All the aches and pains that accumulated from his morning workout melted away. The chronic fatigue that constantly smothered him like a fog dissipated. He often didn't realize just how exhausted he was until he ate Julieta's cooking. Feeling rested and energized was almost alien. He examined the cigar in his fingers and contemplated swiping a biscuit from Robledo's stash every once in a while. If only to prevent himself from passing out at inopportune times. He'd certainly need it come Friday's ghost-hunting session.

He knew it was a selfish thought, but if he asked Julieta directly she'd likely not settle with only feeding Wilfredo a biscuit.

Taking another puff helped alleviate the nausea that came with eating. Swirling the sweet tobacco smoke over his tongue. Wilfredo had to be careful what he ate. Maintaining his weight had been a constant struggle since he was a university student. Sweets were an indulgence he rarely afforded himself and the chocolate flavoring in his cigars helped curb that craving. He'd been doing well lately though, managed to get his belt down two notches in the last few weeks.

Bruno tried to shove another bite of meatloaf into Wilfredo's face. This time Wilfredo blew smoke into Bruno's in turn. Wilfredo utterly delighted in watching Bruno blush and stutter. His brain momentarily struggling to function. So easily flustered by such a simple gesture.

"What did I just say?" Jacqueline groaned.

"Cállate mujer." Wilfredo replied evenly. Not even deigning to give his sister a glance. She was the one who set them up. She could learn to live with the consequences of her actions.

Jacqueline shook her head and smiled back at him. Slapping her bicep with vigor.

Wilfredo was fairly certain at this point Jacqueline only set them up so she could tease him. No matter. If Jacqueline wanted to torment Wilfredo then two could play at that game.

Wilfredo took Bruno by his jaw and pulled him in for a kiss. Combing his fingers through Bruno's lovely salt and pepper beard. Bruno seemed a little startled by the sudden gesture but made no complaints. In fact, he probably enjoyed it a little too much. At least for polite company. The little desperate whimpers Wilfredo elicited tasted better than anything else.

"Eso es todo, me voy!" Jacqueline announced.

As she stood up to dust off her skirt a new voice carried over the hill and forced Wilfredo to drop Bruno's face.

"Ay Jacqueline!"

By the time Vicente appeared over the horizon, Wilfredo was already leaning back on his hands again. Puffing away at his cigar and staring absently at the clouds. Vicente came to stand by their picnic blanket. Wilfredo wasn't the only person who opted for a smoke today. Jacqueline told him Vicnete made good cigars but he'd yet to try one. Curious as he was, Bruno didn't seem to like the man very much and that was justification enough for him to abstain.

Vicente looked down at Bruno who was staring at his hands. Bruno wasn't quite so good at masking his emotions. He looked rattled and Wilfredo briefly regretted his impulsivity. They were far from town for sure, but it was still a public space. He'd taken a risk with Bruno's safety that he really shouldn't have.

"Hola Brunito." Vicente greeted Bruno warmly.

Beatrice climbed out of Bruno's shirt pocket to settle in his fidgeting hands. Petting her seemed to soothe Bruno. He looked up at Vicente with a strangled attempt at a smile. "Ey Vicente." He greeted back.

Vicente took a puff from his own cigar and seemed to look the both of them up and down a moment. Wilfredo mirrored the gesture. Vicente had a gangly frame and a heavy farmer's tan. His skin was a tad leathery and his teeth a bit stained from smoking. He had long light brown hair that always looked just a little greasy. It framed his scruffy face as he never bothered to tie it back. He might be rather nice to look at if he put a bit more time into personal grooming.

Wilfredo had his suspicions about Vicente. If he met Vicente under different circumstances Wilfredo may have considered putting feelers out but he didn't want to stir up trouble in this town. Bruno was risky enough as is and infinitely more attractive. Vicente was married and certainly not pretty or charming enough to be worth the risk. That said, if his thoughtful gaze was any indication, Vicente seemed far more interested in Bruno than Wilfredo.

Bruno picked up the glass of lemonade he'd been nursing over lunch. Trying to distract himself from Vicente's gaze.

Vicente freed the smoke from his cigar into the air and Wilfredo again mirrored him. "Entonces… ah…" Vicente smiled sheepishly and rubbed at the back of his neck. "Los chicos and I are going camping on Friday. Andres and I have been talking and, well… since you've been hanging out around town we thought it might be a good idea to invite you." He offered.

Bruno nearly choked on his drink. "Me?!" He blurted out in shock.

Vicente laughed. "Por qué no?" He teased. Vicente took another puff from his cigar through his toothy grin and held it a moment before he elaborated. "I know we weren't always the nicest to you growing up, but a lot's changed since we were kids." He glanced over to Wilfredo for a moment though the look was fleeting. "We just figured you could use some more amigos."

Bruno looked between Wilfredo and Jacqueline clearly bewildered. Jacqueline paused a second like she was considering something before taking Vicente's attention off of Bruno. She placed her hands on her hips and huffed. "And why was I not invited?" The question wasn't particularly serious. Just an attempt to take Vicente's attention off of Bruno to give him time to think over his answer.

Vicente grinned playfully at her. "Noche de chicos." He apologized sweetly. "No chicas allowed. Besides, wouldn't want to break those pretty little heals of yours."

"So you think I can't handle it?" Jacqueline protested indignantly.

Bruno leaned closer to Wilfredo. Combing his fingers through Beatrice's fur as he worked up the courage to reply. He cleared his throat to interrupt Jacqueline and Vicente's banter. "I-I can't. We have story hour at the library on Fridays and I already missed out yesterday."

"No pasa nada." Vicente waved his cigar as he spoke with his hands. "We don't meet up till late. You can come by after story hour. We'll wait up." He told Bruno.

"Oh uh…" Bruno blushed and shuffled awkwardly in place. "C-can Wilfredo come too?"

"Sí, I don't see why not." Vicente shrugged.

Wilfredo winced. Wishing Bruno had asked him first. "I have a prior engagement Friday night." He told Bruno. "I agreed to help Ayla with a project."

"Oh." Bruno replied. Realizing he was out of convenient excuses not to go, and out of friends to take with. Jacqueline likely would have been his second choice but she'd already been declined.

"Maybe, I mean, what's the worst that could happen?" Just as he said that Bruno's eyes shot open and flickered green for a second. Bruno turned a deep crimson. Flustered and startled by whatever he saw. He winced and beat the side of his head with the heel of his palm until his eyes returned to normal. "Perdoname, it's nothing important. I can go." He told Vicente.

Wilfredo took a slow puff from his cigar. Watching Bruno intently. Utterly fascinated by his visions. There were so many questions racing through his head at the moment.

"Looking forward to it." Vicente smiled. He took another puff before turning back to Jacqueline. "Elonzo's wrapping up his chores. Wanna go play cards?" He offered.

Jacqueline tossed her ponytail over her shoulder. "That depends. Are you prepared to lose?"

Vicente laughed and turned to leave. "Are you chicita?" He teased.

Jacqueline followed quickly behind him. Eggar to leave Wilfredo and Bruno's flirting behind no doubt. Vicente bid them farewell and Wilfredo waved goodbye in turn. Polite and friendly. Like always. As soon as the man left however Wilfredo couldn't help but ask.

"You don't like him much do you?"

Bruno shook his head. "He used to pick on me in school. Mató a una de mis ratas." He confessed. "I know it's petty. I know we're adults and I should get over it…"

Vicente killed one of Bruno's rats? One of his beloved companions. Bruno adored his rats. They were his friends. A source of comfort. They boosted his confidence. They accepted him when Bruno felt like no one else would. Wilfredo knew very well how much Bruno's rats meant to them. How much they must have meant when he was young and fragile.

Wilfredo took Bruno his chin and lifted his face to eye level. Gazing into the soft defeat in Bruno's eyes. "You don't owe people forgiveness Bruno." Wilfredo told him.

Bruno's eyes were wide and sad and it made Wilfredo ache. "I guess not…" Bruno melted in Wilfredo's hand.

Wilfredo bit his lip for a moment before asking hesitantly. "Did you agree to go because of your vision?"

"Sí." Bruno sighed. "I saw myself with them… It looked positive enough, a bit confusing…" Bruno paused a moment. Staring off into space red-faced before he returned to the present. "It doesn't matter. Whatever I saw is coming to pass no matter what I do. The details on how aren't important. I don't want to talk about it."

Wilfredo wouldn't have been particularly worried about it, though Bruno's answer now made him all the more curious. He couldn't help but stare intently at Bruno's face. Trying to examine for any hint of what it was that Bruno saw. What confused him so much.

Bruno set Beatrice down on the blanket. He shook his head like he was trying to shake the vision from his mind. He took Wilfredo's hand and brought it to his cheek. Bruno rubbed his course beard into Wilfredo's palm. Letting out a faint shuddery sigh as if Wilfredo's touch was some kind of balm. "I want to talk about something else." Bruno insisted.

Wilfredo chuckled at the faintly dreamy tone in Bruno's voice. "Like what? What could be more interesting than visions of the future?" Wilfredo teased.

"I was kind of hoping we could talk about you." Bruno admitted. "We haven't had a chance to be alone together in a few days and there's something I've been wondering about."

Wilfredo laughed. "What about me? I'm really not as interesting as you think I am."

Bruno screwed up his face in protest. "And you think I am?"

Wilfredo only laughed even harder. "Says the man who can see the future." He reiterated. The way Bruno casually downplayed the earth-shattering phenomenon that was literal provable magic was astounding. Unfortunately, it forced Wilfredo to act casual about something that called much of what he understood about the world into question.

Wilfredo's laughter was cut off as he was suddenly knocked down into the grass. Bruno stared down at Wilfredo with that adorable pout of his. Propping himself up over Wilfredo's body.

"Vale, vale!" Wilfredo surrendered. "What's got you so curious?" He asked.

"You." Bruno retorted. He sighed and flopped his head down onto Wilfredo's chest. Bruno's cheek smooshed up against Wilfredo's vest. "That night at the library." Bruno specified.

"What about it?" Wilfredo replied. "Did you not enjoy yourself?" He asked softly. He brought his free end down to rest on Bruno's lower back. Gently palming the contours of his slender frame through his ruana.

"I just-" Bruno paused as he tried to think. Clearly, Wilfredo's hand on his back was distracting him. Wilfredo didn't stop though. Bruno would have to learn to live with distractions. "I'm still trying to understand you." Bruno explained.

"In what manner?" Wilfredo countered curiously.

Bruno propped himself up to shoot Wilfredo a frustrated look. "Like, what do you like? You said you don't have a preference but obviously, you feel something."

Wilfredo chuckled and took another puff from his cigar. Slow and relaxed. Resting his head back in the grass and making a show of it.

"I mean it!" Bruno whined. "You're reactions are confusing. I can't tell when I'm doing good, a-and it's not fair, you figured me out right away."

"Are you saying I don't have any surprises to look forward to?" Wilfredo huffed, sending clouds of smoke forward that made Bruno shudder again. "That's too bad." Wilfredo teased. He had no intention of telling Bruno all his quirks. That would take all the fun out of finding them. He didn't want to rob Bruno of that experience. Exploring another person's body was the best part.

Bruno shook his head to collect his thoughts. "Solo quiero ser un mejor novio." he replied sadly.

"Ahora eres mi novio, verdad?" Wilfredo replied in playful surprise.

"If I'm not, then what are we?" Bruno asked.

Wilfredo shrugged and took another puff from his cigar. He couldn't provide a satisfactory answer. He didn't know. His encounters generally didn't include romantic confessions, tender kisses, and gentle cuddles. Well… there was Julio. Bruno was not Julio. Wilfredo wouldn't stay long enough for Bruno to become Julio. Wilfredo would see to that.

Bruno was special for sure, but Wilfredo couldn't be his novio. A novio was someone you celebrated. Someone's who's love you shared with those around. A person you brought home to your parents and planned your life around. Wilfredo could never be that. Not for Bruno. Not for anyone.

Bruno looked unsatisfied with his answer. Wilfredo couldn't blame him.

Bruno climbed up to straddle Wilfredo's thigh. He propped his elbows up on Wilfredo's chest. His feet crossed over Wilfredo's shin. "At least give me something to work with." Bruno griped.

Wilfredo blew smoke again. Bruno's fingers gripped Wilfredo's vest. Bruno managed to stay composed this time. Too bad, it was fun making him squirm.

"Creo que es dulce quieres tanto para complacer." Wilfredo breathed. He took Bruno's hair in his free hand. A gentle grip as Wilfredo brought Bruno's face in close to kiss his jaw. Wilfredo whispered in Bruno's ear. "Pero, haciéndote gemir y se estremece es más que suficiente."

Bruno shuddered audibly. His cock twitching against Wilfredo's thigh. Wilfredo couldn't control the Cheshire grin it brought to his face. Bruno turned his head to kiss Wilfredo. Warm and delicious. Wilfredo's newfound energy only made it all the more arousing. Bruno was a good kisser. It didn't take long for him to learn. Not surprising given how often he liked to do it. Their tongues intertwining. The scratch of Bruno's beard was like a pleasing static shock every time. Every sound reverberated in Wilfredo's mouth.

"Quiero hacer lo mismo contigo." Bruno breathed into Wilfredo's neck when they finally parted.

"Mi pequeña rata hambrienta." Wilfredo moaned softly at the hot breath on his skin. Wilfredo took another puff from his cigar to collect is thoughts before finally making an offer.

"Do you want stories?" Wilfredo asked. He wrapped his arm around Bruno. Holding him gently to his chest. "I can give you stories."

"Sí, por favor." Bruno replied sweetly.

Wilfredo wasn't exactly sure what or how much to share. Some of his experiences were a bit, intense. Bruno might not understand. Wilfredo had a feeling Bruno might not care to know about his history with younger men. Wilfredo wasn't lying by not bringing it up, but he'd slept with men younger to him than he was to Bruno. It was a rarity but still, Wilfredo wasn't sure how Bruno would feel about that.

"I usually like to service other men." Wilfredo told Bruno honestly. Wilfredo rubbed his cigar between his fingers as he spoke. "I'm not usually too particular about how that's done, I just like to please. Mind you…" Wilfredo looked away and waved his cigar. "Such a preference has often left me in a certain kind of company."

"What kind of company?" Bruno asked him innocently.

Wilfredo took another puff from his cigar as he looked for the right words. "I tend to attract men with certain tastes." He replied evenly. Allowing the smoke to pool around his lips when he spoke. To say he attracted such men was an understatement. He sought them out. "Men who like to dominate. Who like someone they can… rough up a bit."

"Y-you let people hurt you?" Bruno asked hesitantly. Fidgeting slightly on top of Wilfredo.

Wilfredo wrapped his free arm around Bruno's body. Tightening his grip on him just a bit. Holding him steady as he soothed him. "Por diversión, sí. It is just a game Bruno. Nothing serious, pero sí, I like it when other men use me." He admitted. "It…" He tried to find the right words. "It helps me relax." He explained.

"H-how do you like being hurt?" Bruno asked him timidly. Resting his face on Wilfredo's chest and staring up at him with those adorable eyes. Shimmering emerald in the warm midday sun. Wide and full of curiosity, love, and concern.

"I offered you stories mi amor. I'll give you stories." Wilfredo cooed. Figuring offering examples would be easier than trying to explain why he liked such things.

Wilfredo took another slow puff from his cigar as he considered how much to share. Worried he might scare Bruno with some of his more extreme experiences. However, the more he shared, the more Bruno's hardening cock against Wilfredo's thigh and hungry eyes suggested otherwise.

Wilfredo stuck to memories he didn't regret and in places maybe softened his descriptions a tad. Still, he confessed to being manhandled, restrained, hit, bit, scratched, his hair pulled, his body restrained. All in ways he found strangely addicting. Bruno listened to every story Wilfredo gave him with rapt attention. Bruno's eyes were wide and dilated as he silently took in every detail Wilfredo gave him. He might not have even told Bruno such stories had the man not already shown himself to be of a more resilient breed than Wilfredo had initially expected. Bruno had his own tolerance for pain and a hidden aggression Wilfredo wouldn't mind exploring.

Once his cigar was long finished and the sun was going down Wilfredo had little choice but to separate himself. Bruno was still somewhat lacking in self-control and while they were fairly isolated out in the hills it was still possible another intruder could come looking for them.

"Pero-" Bruno whined.

"No pero, not out here." Wilfredo protested as he pushed Bruno off of him. Bruno rolled over onto the picnic blanket still tightly wound and deeply frustrated. Wilfredo took Bruno's face in his hands. "It's not safe out here. Besides, I need to get home and make dinner for Robledo."

Bruno sighed. "I know." He pulled Wilfredo in for another kiss that lingered longer than it should have. Deep and longing. Filling Wilfredo's mouth with gentle moans as Bruno held Wilfredo tight by his collar.

It took all of Wilfredo's willpower to pull away and get up to his feet. Dusting the grass off his clothes. "If you want to meet up at the cabin later just come by the library after dinner." He offered.

Bruno looked thoughtful for a moment. "Maybe." He replied.

Curious. Wilfredo hadn't realized it yet, but he'd planted a devious seed in his lover's mind.

︵‿୨ - March 28 1951 - ୧‿︵

The next day Bruno brought a small drawstring bag with him to story hour he refused to explain. After story hour had ended Bruno insisted on staying for the rest of the evening. A risky and confusing choice. Risky for the obvious reason that while they were friends publicly there's a reason they didn't often spend too much time together without Jacqueline around or some other pretext for their shared company. Confusing, because it meant Bruno would have to spend time around Robledo, something he'd altogether been avoiding until recently.

Robledo didn't seem at all bothered by Bruno. Apparently whatever conversation the two of them had had alone on the hike went well. To Wilfredo's pleasant surprise, Bruno was chatting up a storm with the old man while he helped Wilfredo cook dinner. Robledo sat at the small dining table. Bruno hung his bag on the back of Jacqueline's chair. Robledo shared embarrassing stories of Bruno from when he was a boy. Bruno would awkwardly laugh them off or try to defend himself.

It was sweet. A nice warm cozy atmosphere filled the kitchen. Knowing Bruno had made amends with Diego was a comfort. Wilfredo knew Diego had been waiting for Bruno to come to him, it looked like he did. Bruno was growing more courageous and he was reaping the fruits of that labor. Other people were taking notice. Good for him. It made Wilfredo happy to know his lover's life would be better by the time he left than when he arrived. Hopefully, Bruno would continue to look after Robledo when Wilfredo left. Someone really needed to.

Wilfredo set plates down for Diego and Bruno once dinner was ready and went to grab a grapefruit from the crate by the door. He was walking back to the table peeling it when Bruno held a third plate out to him. "No gracias. I already ate today." Wilfredo tried to explain when.

Bruno only stubbornly shoved the plate into his hands. Nearly knocking the fruit out of Wilfredo's grip. "What's the point of cooking if you won't even taste it?" Bruno protested.

"That's what I keep saying." Robledo chimed in from his seat at the table. "Al diablo con su dieta. Come have a real meal tonight."

Wilfredo sighed. Stuck between his lover and his landlord. "Since you helped make it." Wilfredo told Bruno dryly. He sat down at the table with his plate and examined his grapefruit. Wondering if he ate it first he could get away with eating less of his plate.

"You think Jacqueline will make it home for dinner tonight?" Robledo asked as he shoveled a full fork past his scruffy mustache.

The table was small. Bruno sat where Jacqueline normally would. Even if she did come home for dinner tonight she'd probably be sitting on the counter. That said, Wilfredo doubted Jacqueline would. She had some unfinished business with Andres today judging by their conversation this morning.

"I don't think so." Wilfredo replied. He noticed Bruno's eyes on him. An intense, expectant gaze that bored holes into Wilfredo. Bruno hadn't touched his plate yet. He was waiting for Wilfredo to eat.

Reluctantly Wilfredo set down his grapefruit. He cut off a small bite. Trying his best not to let his discomfort show. He enjoyed cooking. Always loved the smell. Eating was a different story. Food made him nauseous. It felt so heavy and thick in his mouth. He took a drink of water to try and help it go down. Bruno's burning gaze seemed to ease up a bit. Wilfredo was grateful. He couldn't stand other people watching him eat. He couldn't understand why people wouldn't just leave him be. It felt like a mockery at times.

"That's too bad. She's been staying out late more often." Robledo mused.

That's because Jacqueline never knew when Bruno was going to be around. Jacqueline was trying to leave their shared bedroom empty. Despite her courtesy, Wilfredo wasn't in the mood to be so bold. He and Bruno had only had a couple of affairs thus far. Wilfredo had taken Bruno out to the cabin for a reason. Bruno's advances in the library had been risky, to say the least.

God, Wilfredo had let a man fuck him over his landlord's desk. He still felt a bit guilty about that. Still, he smiled and looked Robeldo in the eye as though Wilfredo hadn't disrespected Robledo's home behind his back. Wilfredo had done worse before of course. This made him feel ashamed though. Robledo was a kind man who shared his home out of charity.

Wilfredo would try his best to keep future affairs relegated to more private spaces. He wished he didn't have to. Wished he could make love in the comfort of his own home. Wished he had a home of his own… Wished that love and pleasure didn't come at such a price. Wished he didn't have to lie. Wished he didn't have to hurt people.

"She's been more busy during the day." Wilfredo reasoned. "I think she likes to make the most of her nights."

"Eh, Wilfredo?" Bruno interjected.

"Sí, Bruno?"

"Are you going to tell him about what happened at story hour?" Bruno suggested. Trying to shift the conversation away from Jacqueline. Bruno knew as well as Wilfredo did why she was coming home less often than before.

"Oh, sí, funny story. At junior story hour one of the kids-" Wilfredo began.

"I heard." Robledo chuckled.

"You did?" Bruno chuckled back awkwardly. Wilfredo's throat went dry. He took another drink of water.

"I guess los niños did make quite a racket huh?" Wilfredo dismissed any surprise that Diego had overheard. Wilfredo smiled, kept his voice even and friendly. Inside he was screaming. If Robledo could have heard the debacle at story hour from his room then what other things might he have overheard?

"I'm not as deaf as you people think I am." Robeldo teased lightly as he ate his dinner.

Had Robledo heard them in the library? He was trying to sleep! Had Wilfredo really kept this poor old man up that night with…

"Pendejadas era gracioso como el infierno." Robeldo laughed. "I should join you two for story hour sometime." He mused wistfully. "I forgot how funny niños can be."

Bruno seemed to relax a bit. If Robledo was laughing and talking about taking part then surely he must have slept through Bruno and Wilfredo's tryst. He wouldn't be so light-hearted if he hadn't. "As long as you don't try to do the reading." Bruno mocked him playfully. "You'll put everyone to sleep. Wilfredo included."

"Ole!" Wilfredo replied indignantly. "I'm more attentive than that!"

"I don't know it wouldn't be the first time." Bruno trilled. He rested a hand on his chest boastfully. "And unlike Diego, I'm actually entertaining."

Wilfredo relaxed as the conversation devolved to the same sort of cheery banter that had punctuated their cooking. Robledo probably just woke up early from his afternoon nap. The thought was still deeply concerning though. Robledo could hear them from upstairs. At least if they were loud enough. Curse this tiny house. Wilfredo knew the same thing had occurred to Bruno. Hopefully, this thought would scare him off of inappropriately timed advances. Somehow Wilfredo still doubted it. Bruno had no self-control. The responsibility fell on Wilfredo. He'd have to do better. He had to protect Bruno.

At the end of the day, this wasn't Wilfredo's home, it was Bruno's. Bruno was the one who would have to live with the fallout should something happen. Should they be caught, Wilfredo would flee town with his tail between his legs. He'd done so many times before. Bruno would have to live with the shame that constantly followed Wilfredo like a specter.

Bruno and Wilfredo continued to chat with Robledo like nothing was wrong. A few times Bruno would remind Wilfredo to eat and he would bitterly take another bite. He didn't want to fight Bruno on this. Not in front of Robledo. When his landlord was ready to retire for the night Wilfredo volunteered to do the dishes for him like he did every night. Robledo bid Bruno goodnight and reminded him to get home soon before his mother started to worry. Apparently, Alma had expressed some concern to Robeldo in confidence about how often Bruno was coming home late and missing meals with the family. Wilfredo assumed Bruno would be leaving soon. Surely he wouldn't risk it now? Not after that scare with Robledo.

Nope.

︵‿୨ -❇- ୧‿︵

Wilfredo got up to wash the dishes after Robledo had left for bed and Wilfredo had eaten enough to satisfy his companion. It was as he was rinsing them in the sink he found Bruno wrapping his slender arms around his waist. Bruno's arms could just barely reach around Wilfredo. Bruno's hands slid up and down Wilfredo's chest and stomach. He'd had taken off his cardigan and rolled up his sleeves to cook. The sudden affection now making him feel more exposed in this state.

"Bruno not here. You heard what Robledo said." Wilfredo reminded him. Barely above a whisper.

"We'll just have to be extra quiet." Bruno mumbled. Pressing his face into Wilfredo's back. Planting soft kisses up Wilfredo's spine through three layers of fabric. Wilfredo shuttered from the gentle affection and felt Bruno's fingers grip his vest. Heard him sigh as he rubbed his face against Wilfredo's shoulder blades.

"Was this your plan all evening?" Wilfredo chastised. "To rob me of my sleep again and make me disrespect my host?"

"Are you saying you don't appreciate my company?" Bruno teased softly.

Wilfredo shook his hands out in the sink and turned to scold Bruno further. He didn't get to speak. Bruno pulled himself up to Wilfredo's face to capture his lips. Wilfredo's words died in his throat. Bruno's kisses had become like a drug. Wilfredo couldn't think like this. Bruno's hands explored Wilfredo's body as he pressed him against the kitchen counter. Slender fingers tugging at his clothes, seeking out his skin.

Wilfredo tried to regain some semblance of control. He took Bruno's face in his hands, reveling in the scratch of his beard filling Wilfredo's palms… no, he had to compose himself. He pushed Bruno back. Bruno looked up at Wilfredo, still lying on his chest. Bruno's drawstring bag slung over his shoulder.

"Meet me upstairs." Bruno instructed. There was a strange determination in those hazel eyes. Mostly brown in the dim light though flecks of bright green sparkled through where the candles hit them. Teasing Wilfredo to follow him into that glittering forest of Bruno's. Wilfredo didn't know what mischief he had planned but whatever it was he doubted it was wise.

Bruno pushed off and darted up the stairs before Wilfredo could reply. Whatever Bruno was planning it couldn't be good. But curiosity was Wilfredo's first love. Maybe this was a bad idea. He should send Bruno home. Not take unnecessary risks…

︵‿୨ -❇- ୧‿︵

Wilfredo heard a concerning sound once he made it to the top of the stairs. He could hear Robledo snoring in the other room which was relieving, but the sound coming from Wilfredo's room was a troubling sign.

Six knocks, twelve, eighteen.

Bruno was anxious about something. Whatever it was he was trying to gather his courage. Or at least pray for good fortune. What was he planning that had him so worked up?

"Bruno?" Wilfredo opened the door gently and attempted to soothe his neurotic partner. "This is highly inappropriate you know?" He teased playfully. "Beckoning me to my room so late at night. Why if I didn't know you were a decent man I might think you had some wicked intentions." If Bruno didn't want to risk getting caught he could still back out now. Wilfredo was trying to make light of it but Bruno really was endangering their secret by staying here so late at night. If he really intended to do what Wilfredo suspected that was certainly a bold leap.

Wilfredo's playful grin was met with a forceful kiss. Unsurprising at this point. Not an answer to his question but unsurprising. Bruno shoved him back against the door, forcing it closed with a loud thunk. Wilfredo flinched at the sound but could still hear Robledo's loud snores in the hallway. The man was a mercifully heavy sleeper. Wilfredo knew he really should put a stop to this. Robledo was just in the next room. They could still wake him.

Bruno's arms came to tangle around Wilfredo's neck. One hand coming snaking up into Wilfredo's hair and holding on tight. Wilfredo whimpered softly into Bruno's lips. Wrapping his arms around Bruno's slender waist. It was just a kiss. Wilfredo could let this carry on a little longer. There was little harm in just a kiss.

Wilfredo could feel Bruno harden against his thigh. Pressing up against Wilfredo. Pinning him against the door with all the strength in Bruno's petite body. No matter. Wilfredo knew he could overpower Bruno if ever he needed to. It wasn't hard. Wilfredo could stop this anytime. It was just a kiss.

Eventually, Bruno pulled away, very slightly, their faces still inches from each other.

"Amor you need to go home." Wilfredo breathed against him. "Or take this elsewhere. We can't do this here." Admittedly his tone was far from convincing. He couldn't mask the yearning. He didn't want to send Bruno home. He didn't want to kick Bruno out of his bed like something shameful. He never did.

What Bruno said next took Wilfrdo by surprise.

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

"Arrodíllate." Bruno ordered.

"Perdone?" Wilfredo pulled back slightly. Furrowing his brow at Bruno's sudden command.

"No hagas que me repita." Bruno growled. His eyes flashed a vibrant unnatural green that left Wilfredo momentarily stunned. Before he could respond his hair was yanked violently. His head pulled down below Bruno's eye line.

Wilfredo did as he was told almost without thinking. An ingrained impulse at this point. Kneeling down in front of Bruno. Gripping at his pant legs, Wilfredo steadied himself with a breath. He was no stranger to rough handling. This was different. This was Bruno. He hadn't expected this from Bruno. Wilfredo looked back up at Bruno. Curious to see what he'd find. Desperate to know what had possessed his usually gentle companion.

Bruno looked down at him with a startlingly passive expression. It wasn't the kind of desperate hunger that usually preceded his more aggressive outburst. No, his expression was calm. Controlled. Uncharicartisticly so. The way he faintly gnawed at his lower lip was a tell, however. A faint hint of that usual appetite. Restrained, like a beast on a leash, but still there. His grip softened. He pet the side of Wilfredo's head softly. The gentle stroke of Bruno's fingers against Wilfredo's tender scalp lulled him into a slight daze.

It felt good. It felt really good.

No, no. This is Bruno. This isn't like him. Something is wrong. Yet…

Bruno did Wilfredo the honor of freeing his barely restrained cock for him. Wilfredo didn't need to be told what to do. He knew full well. He was well-trained. Obedient. He knew what men wanted from him.

Truth be told, Wilfredo loved sucking dick. He was good at it. He took some pride in that. Loved the art. The way he could make a man shudder and moan with little more than his tongue. He could tell Bruno had showered earlier that day. Not that Wilfredo would have cared if he hadn't, but the gesture was kind. Bruno was still Bruno after all.

Wilfredo was gentle at first. Swirling his tongue under the foreskin before moving slowly down. Drawing little patterns with his tongue as he went. Bruno let out a soft moan that lit that spark of pride in Wilfredo's stomach. It made his body tremble and flush. He tried to look up at Bruno. To smile teasingly around the man's throbbing, burning, cock. Bruno got aroused so easily, so quickly. It was honestly rather cute. He was so easy to play with.

Bruno's eyes opened slightly when Wilfredo stopped moving. Peering down at him. Bruno's expression didn't change, though a faint blush rose to his cheeks. It was still Bruno after all.

Wilfredo's taunt was not well received it seems. Or perhaps it was? He was met with another yank to his hair. His face was pulled down to the hilt. Bruno shoved his cock down Wilfredo's throat so violently and suddenly it almost made him gag. Almost. Wilfredo's pride wouldn't allow that. He gripped the man's legs tight as he restrained his body's natural impulse.

He took a deep breath through his nose in the seconds he had before Bruno began violently fucking his face. Slamming his cock into the back of Wilfredo's throat repeatedly. Wilfredo gripped Bruno tight at first. Controlling his breathing before letting his body go slack. He went limp and let Bruno use him. Relishing in the taste of his lover. Tilting his head up to straighten his throat and make for a smoother ride.

Wilfredo's fingers, now limp and weak, made their way up Bruno's legs. Eventually, his hands came to rest on his hips. Wrapping his thumbs around his waist as Wilfredo stared up at Bruno adoringly. Wilfredo silently pleaded for Bruno to look at him. To be acknowledged. Praised.

Bruno's eyes opened again, forest green slivers. Wilfredo didn't know what he looked like but whatever Bruno saw turned Bruno's face a deeper shade of crimson. Wilfredo closed his eyes and moaned around Bruno's greedy cock. Taking in every sensation he could in the mad frenzy. He loved this feeling. Adored every second of it.

Wilfredo let a mournful whimper escape when Bruno pulled away. Almost stumbling forward had Bruno not held Wilfredo in place by his hair. He sucked in greedy gulps of air. Drool still pouring down his chin. Bruno wasn't done with him yet.

For a brief moment, Wilfredo had some clarity of thought return to him. This wasn't like Bruno. Wilfredo knew he should say something. "A-A little, over-eager, tonight, are we?" He gasped between breaths. He tried to smile sweetly. To maintain his usual playful ribbing. Bruno, it seems, wasn't in the mood to play tonight.

"Acuéstate en la cama." Bruno instructed.

"B-Bruno-" Wilfredo forgot whatever witty rebuttal he had been trying to formulate. His hair was yanked violently once more.

Bruno dragged Wilfredo across the room by his hair, forcing him to crawl. Only once Wilfredo pulled himself onto the bed did Bruno finally let go. Wilfredo laid on his side at first. Looking back at Bruno with a curious gaze. The burn in his scalp sent a little buzz through his body and made his head tingle. He reached up to adjust his glasses as Bruno approached him. Bruno leaned over Wilfredo. Staring him down with that uncharacteristically cold gaze.

"Quítatelas." Bruno ordered

"Hm?" Wilfredo hummed. Faintly dizzy with a morbidly excited curiosity.

"Tus gafas, quítatelas." Bruno instructed again. Slower this time.

Wilfredo took in Bruno's face as he loomed overhead. One hand on the nightstand, the other extended past Wilfredo's head to grip the railing of his bed. Despite Bruno's small stature, his presence felt almost intimidating. It didn't matter though. Wilfredo could stop this any time if he wanted to.

No...

Wilfredo would let this play out. Some combination of simple curiosity and the thrill he got from being bullied, being hurt, wouldn't let Wilfredo end this. Not yet. He had to see how far Bruno would go. To chase that delicious buzz Bruno gave him. Any other concerns had left Wilfredo's mind at this point.

He did as he was told. Setting his glasses down on the nightstand. Watching Bruno's face devolve to a blur as he brought himself closer. Bruno hovered in front of Wilfredo's lips. He could feel Bruno's breath. Wilfredo strained to focus his eyes and was met with another eerie supernatural green glow that captivated him like a lure.

Bruno gripped Wilfredo's shoulder and shoved him onto his back. Climbing on top of him to kiss him again. He embraced the attention. Let himself get drunk off Bruno's touch. Wilfredo barely noticed Bruno pulling his hands over his head. Writhing hungrily under Bruno. Grinding up against him and pleading for more.

There it was. More pain. Milder this time. But just enough to give Wilfredo another pleasant little jolt that made him shudder.

It was only when Bruno pulled away that Wilfredo properly registered what it was. The burn of a rope tied tight around his wrists. Binding him to the railing of his bed. He tried to tug at his restraints only to be met with another tantalizing burn. He looked back up at Bruno. He was sitting back now on Wilfredo's lap. He could see Bruno's face again. Watching Wilfredo intently. Gauging his reactions.

He knew he should probably have put a stop to this. He realized what Bruno was doing. What Bruno thought he was doing. Wilfredo would regret this later. He knew that. The allure of his favorite high was so tempting. He should stop this.

"Es lo mejor que puedes hacer?" Wilfredo taunted. Further goding Bruno on.

Bruno pulled Wilfredo's hair again and bit down hard on his lip. Wilfredo forced pained gasps through his nose. Met with the familiar copper taste of his own blood. He kept his breathing even. Let the adrenaline accumulate in his brain. Slow even breaths. He knew he'd be alright. He knew what he could take. He could put a stop to this if he wanted. Bruno bit down on Wilfredo's neck. Fingers still strangling his hair. Deep breathes. Slow, even. It would all be worth it as long as he controlled himself. Bruno sunk his teeth in so deep. Wilfredo freed the tension in his throat through low breathy moans.

Bruno pulled away once he seemed satisfied. He climbed off of Wilfredo to remove his shoes. Bruno tossed them to the floor only for Wilfredo's sanity to return to him again. He felt ashamed as Bruno tugged off his trousers and rolled his shirt up to his neck. Briefly repulsed by the sight of his own body Wilfredo tried to struggle. Bruno raked his nails along Wilfredo's sides making him groan.

"Quieta mi rata de biblioteca." Bruno soothed. The low purr in his voice was so mesmerizing. Wilfredo adored being his library rat.

Wilfredo nodded obediently. Utterly love drunk. Watching Bruno adoringly as he stood back up to undress. Slipping off his ruana. His nimble fingers working their way down the buttons of his shirt. Wilfredo relished in the flex of Bruno's shoulders as he shrugged it off. Finally, his still unbuttoned trousers were allowed to fall to the floor, stepping out of his sandals along with them. He even untied his hair, letting it fall loose around his shoulders.

Bruno was so beautiful. His delicate olive frame peppered with dark fluff that trailed down his chest. Enticing to drink in, to touch. The sight made Wilfredo forget his own unappetizing figure. Utterly entranced by the work of art in front of him.

Wilfredo watched intently as Bruno removed his crucifix. Something Wilfredo had never seen Bruno do before. He set it down on the nightstand next to his mysterious bag before looking back at Wilfredo. He saw a brief flash of worry in those beautiful green eyes.

"Haz lo que quieras mi amor." Wilfredo soothed. He adored this man. He didn't know before if he wanted this with Bruno of all people, but now? Wilfredo was well past the point of doubt. That burn in his blood wouldn't let him question it. He forced his breathing slow and relaxed his body. Preparing himself for whatever came next.

Bruno sat on the edge of the bed and leaned down to kiss him again. Gentle this time. Running his tongue over Wilfredo's, split, swollen lip. He stroked his tender scalp with his fingers. Wilfredo leaned into Bruno's touch. Savoring that little moment of tenderness. A devious part of him praying it wouldn't overstay its welcome.

"Para qué vacilar?" Wilfredo whispered. Barely conscious of his own words. Only waiting. Expectant.

Any thought of after was well beyond Wilfredo's comprehension once he felt Bruno bite down again on his neck. Lips and teeth interchanging, working their way down Wilfredo's body. Making him shudder and go limp. Moaning softly and leaning into every harsh touch. It brought back memories. The burn of his hair being ripped out by the root. Teeth and fingernails. Being drenched in sweat and cum and piss. Bruno could spit in Wilfrdo's face and he would thank him for it. He didn't care if it was Bruno. In these moments it didn't matter who it was. Any man who could make him feel like this was worth coming back to.

This weightless feeling as he stared aimlessly at the ceiling. All insecurities, all worries or fears, it all vanished in these moments. Completely and utterly at peace. Entranced. Floating.

Nothing else existed right now. Just this feeling.

Bruno's mouth came to wrap around Wilfredo's cock and he could hear a chorus of low moans he faintly understood to be coming from himself. He didn't care. Bruno was still clumsy and green. Teeth grazing tender flesh. Not that it mattered. Wilfredo was good and numb to pain by now. Simply relaxed and savoring the feeling.

Eventually, Bruno pulled back. Pushing Wilfredo's legs up to start teasing below with slicked fingers. Trying to soften him up.

"H-hacer que duela." Wilfredo mumbled absently. Barely aware of the words escaping him. He wasn't thinking really. Just didn't want to come down yet. He just wanted another jolt to keep him high.

Bruno froze for a moment. There was silence. No sensation. Just calm quiet as Wilfredo stared lazily at the ceiling. Waiting.

There was another sharp jolt of pain when Bruno tore into him that made him shudder and moan. Wilfredo's limp body hung on Bruno's cock. Wilfredo's face was damp. He barely registered it. Some warm wet feeling washed over his cheeks.

"E-estás bien mi vida?!" The man's voice was shaking. Mi vida? Wilfredo wasn't used to being called that. Odd.

"Sí señor." Wilfredo mumbled in reply. Shaking hands gripped tight around his thighs. "Continuar." He pleaded softly

"P-por favor, No me llames así." The other voice trembled.

He didn't like that title. Wilfredo fished through is foggy memory for other popular titles. If he didn't like that one he could think of another.

"Sí Papi."

Another dead silence. He didn't like that one either? Wilfredo could think of another. He didn't want to. Having to think was pulling him down from his high. He just wanted this man to fuck him. He just wanted to float.

At last stembling hands gripped him tight. Fingers digging into his flesh as the other man tore him apart. There it was. That intoxicating cocktail of pain and pleasure that made Wilfredo forget himself. He could hear moaning and whimpering. He couldn't tell what sounds were his. It was a wonderful symphony nonetheless.

Slender fingers came to stroke his cock, making him lightheaded and dizzy. He shut his eyes and let his body react however it pleased. Just lost in the feeling. He barely flinched as he came. A faint tremor that passed through his hazy body. Warm pleasure that spread up his spine. He was left empty, limp, dizzy, and lost. Still high. Still numb to conscious thought. Eyes closed. Still floating.

A pair of hands came to hold his face. A worried trembling voice. "Wilfredo? Mi vida? Mi amor? Por favor-"

Wilfredo opened his eyes lazily. The face in front of him was too close. To blurry to make out. Too blurry to recognize. Green. Their eyes were green. A very pretty color.

"Sí Papi?"

The man above him trembled and stifled what sounded like a sob.

Why was he crying? Was something wrong?

After a moment the hands on his face stopped trembling. Stroking Wilfredo's cheeks before fleeing to his wrists. He felt a pressure release that he'd forgotten was there. Someone's thumbs gently caressing rope-burnt skin.

The man was crying again.

Was something wrong? Had Wilfredo done something wrong?

The man pulled away. Wilfredo let his hands rest on the pillow above his head. No impulse to move his arms. To move at all. He felt weightless and heavy at the same time. Content to lay still in his little puddle of bliss.

Something soft was pressed against his lips.

"Eat mi vida."

Without thought Wilfredo did as he was told. Opening his mouth to accept the morsel placed inside. Swallowing eased the dull aches that covered his body. The pain had become so muted yet he still managed to register its absence. Slender hands caressed his face again. Someone's forehead pressed to his. Hot tears falling onto his face. Bruno's hands.

Bruno's tears.

There it was. A wash of cold. Wilfredo's body shook violently like he'd been dumped into a freezing lake. All those fears and insecurities flooding back, and Bruno… Dear god Bruno. Wilfredo was crying now. He knew it. He didn't know how long he'd been crying but now he couldn't make the tears stop. His breath catching in his throat. Hyperventilating as he struggled to force the tears to stop.

Wilfredo shoved Bruno away in a panic. He pulled down his shirt and clung to the bedframe as he shivered. Drawing his knees to his chest. trembling. He couldn't stop crying. He needed to stop. He needed to control himself. He couldn't let Bruno see him like this.

Let go. Leave me. I need to be alone. Let me be alone. I'll be alright. Just leave.

It was like this every time. The crash was horrible. But Wilfredo kept seeking it out. Usually, he was alone for this part. He preferred it that way. He looked like some pitiful wretch and he knew it.

"I'm not leaving you!" A voice cut through his racing thoughts.

Wilfredo looked down. Bruno had come to grab him by the arm. His eyes were burnt from tears and determined. Wilfredo hadn't realized he'd even spoken aloud. Or perhaps Bruno could read Wilfredo's mind. He didn't know. He was so cold.

Wilfredo's eyes traced Bruno's body as he fully processed what was in front of him. From the agonizing worry on his face to the blood on his dick. Bruno didn't cum. In his haste to pull Wilfredo from his trance, he had fell forgotten about his own pleasure. More shameful tears poured down Wilfredo's face. Looking away as he choked back sobs. He felt so much worse than usual. Bruno looked so scared. It was Wilfredo's fault. He did that.

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

Bruno's face softened. Out of the corner of Wilfredo's eye. Bruno tugged the blankets out from under them and pulled them up over the both of them. Holding Wilfredo under the covers as he clung to the railing. Bruno's arms wrapped around him, his face resting on Wilfredo's shoulder. Hands smoothing gentle circles along his back. Chanting that same little song, like he was soothing a child.

They stayed like that for some time. Wilfredo just shivered and sobbed. Muttering weak appoligzes. Bruno would reassure him. Refused any apology Wilfredo gave. Bruno stayed with Wilfredo till the tears and the shaking finally stopped. Wilfredo felt tired and drained. Numb, but sober. Bruno noticed his hands going slack on the railing and asked Wilfredo if he wanted to lie down. Wilfredo nodded slowly. Bruno let go of him long enough for him to get comfortable. Wilfredo burrowed into his mattress. Bruno seemed undeterred. Curling up beside Wilfredo. Without thinking Wilfredo held the small man close to his chest. Nesting his face in Bruno's curly hair. Bruno rested a hand on Wilfredo's face to stroke his cheek.

"Estás bien?" Bruno asked softly.

"Estoy bien." Wilfredo mumbled.

Bruno trembled at his reply. Releasing a shaky frustrated breath. "Don't lie to me, por favor, no me mientas." Bruno pleaded.

"I'm not lying. I really am alright." Wilfredo insisted. His voice was empty though, soft and broken and unconvincing, but he wasn't lying.

"I was just trying too… I thought, after what you said, I had it all planned out, this was such a stupid idea, I don't know what I was thinking…" Bruno choked and sobbed, burying his face in Wilfredo's chest.

Wilfredo hugged Bruno tight and kissed the top of his head. "Me encantó tu regalo." He shushed.

"You were sobbing, you weren't yourself." Bruno insisted.

Wilfredo didn't think much about what other people saw. Most of the people he'd been with didn't think too much of it. They didn't know him well enough to have any kind of expectation and Wilfredo always asked them to leave when they were done. Bruno knew Wilfredo, or at least he thought he did. He didn't want to leave.

"I-I don't know why I'm like this." Wilfredo confessed. "Siento haberte asustado." Perhaps if he wasn't so numb. If he hadn't already drained himself of all his tears. He might have cried again. Bruno's tears filled Wilfredo with so much guilt and shame. In his empty state, it was all he could feel.

"H-how many people…" Bruno stammered. "How many people have you let hurt you?"

Wilfredo didn't want to answer that. He didn't want to try to answer that. Nevertheless, Bruno tensed in his arms when his question was met with silence. Bruno wrapped his arms around Wilfredo's neck. His tears felt like acid burning through his shirt. Wilfredo hugged him close. It was all he could think to do.

Wilfredo tried to muster up some pleasant tone. Anything that might be reassuring. "I really did enjoy it." He told Bruno. "We can still play games like these again. Just let me know next time."

Bruno shook his head. "No,no,no,no,no," He whimpered. "I never want to hurt you like that again."

Perhaps that was for the better. Bruno wasn't other men. He wasn't some interchangeable plaything. He was Bruno. He was special. He was gentle and kind. He didn't have the heart for such things.

"Te amo, por favor, never ask me to hurt you." Bruno pleaded softly. His words felt like a dagger to the heart.

"Prometo." Wilfredo assured his precious fae. He wouldn't make that mistake again.

They stayed like that for a long time. Wilfredo didn't know how long. Only that he fell asleep with Bruno in his arms. That he woke up alone the next day. Exhausted, still guilty, but a bit more at ease than he'd felt in weeks.