05. A GOLDEN LION ON YOUR HEART
And with that, Hoster Tully guided his son out of the room. The large doors that opened to the balcony were wide open, and now alone in the room, Tywin understood that as a clear invitation. On the balcony, Catelyn had one of her ladies in each arm, observing the serpentine river run under the bridge. In the distance, the sounds of that morning's games could be faintly heard.
-Uncle Tywin! -he wasn't expecting Saera to be there, but openly smiled when she run towards him and gave him a hug- Promise me that you will tell me everything… -she begged, whispering on his ear, her excitement impossible to be tamed.
-I don't know what you are talking about. –he deflected, holding her little hands.
-No one is telling me anything. –she kept whispering- My own theories are too wild, you should take pity on me.
Tywin kissed her forehead, not knowing how to respond, and saw that Enya approached them to take the girl away. She exchanged a complicit look with Tywin and left the balcony, closing the door behind them.
-Lord Tywin... -Catelyn bravely shortened the distance between them with a few steps, offering her hand to be kissed. She had a smile in her face, inspired by Saera's sweet outburst.
Still holding her hand and staring at her bright blue eyes, Tywin could only bring himself to observe her. She was dressed in a creamy coloured long sleeved gown, that made the waves on her hair shine in a thousand different shades of red under the sunlight. Her skin was sun kissed, and her hair was being lightly blown by the soft wind around them. A true vision of beauty, he thought. Effortless beauty.
-Do you have a response for me? - that had being the only real thought in his mind since the night before, and it seemed like it had being very imperative in her mind as well.
-Indeed, I do. -separating their hands, she walked further away from the glass doors, and waited for him to join her. He could tell she valued her privacy, even from her closest friends.
He stood next to her, staring at the river, with his arms resting by his sides. He thought she was probably savouring the moment where she had Tywin Lannister completely surrendered at her will, but when she spoke, he knew that her nerves were also taking the best of her.
-My lord... -she gently grabbed his hand, and held it carefully. Tywin noticed how close they were, and he could inspire the smell of geraniums from her hair- My lord, it would be an honour for me to be your wife. -she said in a broken voice, her eyes not leaving his for a second, and a sweet smile lightening her face.
-So is this a yes? -he wanted to be sure, fighting to control the urge to hold her face and kiss her right then and there.
-It is a yes, yes. -her soft laugh extracted from him a genuine smile- And although I have some requests, none of them would interfere in this acceptance.
He knew that when two Great Houses join in marriage, expectations are to be fulfilled by both sides.
-You should not concern yourself with this part of the arrangements. -he said bringing her hands to his lips and kissing them.
-What part of the arrangements? -she asked- What I have to discuss with you, I do it as your bride, not as the Lady of Riverrun.
His bride. That made him smile once more, now curious about what she would ask of him.
-You shall want for nothing, my lady.
-Good. -she said returning the kiss on his hands- But in any case, I would like to talk about it.
She indicated a table in the shade, where they could sit and refresh themselves with cold lemonade. Catelyn served them, her hands still slightly shaken by her emotions. Tywin sat with his back to the wall, and she occupied the chair right next to his, not in front as he had expected. Her body was turned in his direction, and her hand had already floated to grab his over the table. Now, with his thoughts completely clouded, with wandering eyes trying to memorize every little thing about the loveliness of his new bride, he allowed her to relay her requests.
-Tell me what afflicts you. -he prompted her.
-I have lived through a long engagement. -she said observing his thumb drawing circles on the back of her hand- And I no longer believe in them. Not for myself.
He was taken aback by her words, but not in a negative way. He had no intention in prolonging the engagement, but hearing from her mouth was still somewhat energizing.
-I see.
-I no longer know what my dreams are about my wedding day. All I know is that something like this... -she was referring to his nephew's celebrations- Is too much for me. I would like, if it is of your liking, my lord... To have a more private do. In Riverrun.
-I see no reason why not to agree. -he was, in fact, glad that she wished for a more peaceful time- Private doesn't have to mean dull. We won't spare any expenses in relation to it, and you must have everything you wish for. And yes, -he adjoined- we must do it in your ancestral home.
She now seemed truly happy. As a young lady, she must have pictured her wedding day happening in the castle where she grow up, surrounded by her people, having the absolute certainty that after that, life would never be the same again.
-So those are your requests? Soon, privately, at Riverrun?
-Some, yes. -she confirmed, still holding that beaming smile in her face- Not all of my requests are going to be so agreeable.
-Well, you must just surprise me. -he kissed her hand once more, knowing far too well that kissing her as he wanted, would not be considered proper.
-It might not be as easy for you to say yes, my lord.
-You should try me.
She hesitated for a second, taking a small sip from her drink.
-We are to live in Casterly Rock.
-Yes and that is not debatable.
-But what if you are called to be Lord Hand once again, my lord?
-Then we would live in King's Landing.
-And is that also not debatable?
-Why? Does that displease you?
She didn't respond for a long second, looking away and seeming unsure on how to proceed.
-My lady, the likelihood of that happening is very slim. -he reassured her- Does your sister hates the court that much?
-No. -Catelyn seemed surprised with the sudden mention to Lysa, now married to Lord Jon Arryn that was the current King's Hand- Not at all, she seems to be quite happy based on her letters.
-In this case, why are you so weary of King's Landing?
-I would not like to raise our children away from their ancient home, even less to do so in such a place.
He felt like that it had being the tenth time he tried to convince her not to worry about things that haven't even crossed his mind yet. But he could already notice that his lovely bride was an anxious person, and that was probably a consequence of the uncertain times from the war.
-The truth is that I am enjoying life at the Rock, that I had missed it more than I cared to admit. -he said holding her little face- I can promise that in such a case, involving such an enormous change in the life I am offering you now, I will always consider your feelings about it.
-Thank you... -she kept his hand in place, closing her eyes at the touch- Always remember that is not an option to live apart. Not if we can avoid.
Tywin would never know how, but that lady knew how to say all the right words.
-I would never willingly leave you. -he promised.
-Good. -she said and smiled.
-Do you have any other request, my darling?
-A couple more. -she answered, knowing that he was finding that rather amusing- You might say no to this one, and I will understand.
-Tell me...
-And please, do not take this the wrong way...
-Just tell me.
She seemed to be more embarrassed, uncertain and nervous about this one. She took a deep breath and tentatively looked at him.
-You can ask me for anything. -he repeated.
-My lord, I do not wish us to marry as strangers.
At first, Tywin wasn't sure of what she meant. He knew her enough to devote to her every waking moment, and most of his recent dreams. He understood that for her he could be more of a mystery, but not a stranger.
-I wish to know you better. -she couldn't remain seated and quietly walked towards the walls, to look at the river instead of him- You have agreed on a shorter engagement, what means that we won't have much time to... Grow closer.
He was now standing at her side again, and she seemed to struggle with looking at him, which was something that she didn't seem to have a problem with before.
-You may think that this is too forward, but I have arranged with my father so you and your party are invited to visit Riverrun and remain for as long as you wish. We could start the planning and preparation for the wedding, as I wish for your input on the matter. You can say no.
-But I wouldn't.
Tywin was now feeling like his insides had turned into fuzz. She clearly stopped herself from hugging him, a large smile across her face.
-And no, my lady. This is not too forward.
-I want to hurt when you leave, and miss you every day we spend away from each other. I do not wish to marry you with an empty heart.
She didn't need to be any clearer than that. And Tywin appreciated the honesty. Of course she didn't have feelings for him yet, as she had heard about his intentions less than a day ago. He knew that she felt something, he wasn't blind. And her father had expressed that she wouldn't accept his proposal if she didn't like him. However, he was the one with the improper thoughts, with the wondering eyes, the lust and an empty bed. He was the one blindsided by the feelings she had inspired on him. Care, admiration, amusement, joy... It took every ounce of self-control on his body to stop him from pressing her against that table and kissing every inch of skin he could reach. He now held her face with both hands, because that seemed to be the safest way to establish a respectful contact. He would be doomed if he ever disrespected this lady.
-You are so much more than I thought. -he declared.
-And I also wish for you to love me. I almost married for duty once, but not now. Not if I have a choice.
-Your acceptance is due to...?
-Is due to the fact that you saw me as a person, not as a claim. -at least not primarily.
-Other men must have professed you undying love.
-I could never believe them.
-But you believed me?
-My heart did, and that's how I know that this is right.
He couldn't find words to answer that, so he resigned to press his lips against her forehead for a long moment, her hands holding his arms. She was lightly trembling when he gently pulled her against his chest for a hug. They both knew it wasn't proper, but at that moment it didn't matter.
-I offer you my heart, my lady.
-And I offer you my entire self.
Not long after that, Tywin decided that he should probably leave. There's only so much the reputation of a young maiden can take. So he said his goodbyes, after confirming with her that they should announce their upcoming union that night, during the feast.
-I now must find your father. -he said- And make this as official as it can possibly be.
-That sounds very sensible, my lord.
-Before I leave... -he just remembered that late last night he had awakened his sister in the hopes of finding an appropriate engagement gift.
Genna had opened her, very organized, jewellery box. In the very bottom of it, simply nested inside a velvet pouch, they found what he had in mind the entire time.
-That is the perfect thing, brother. -Genna said holding his arm and observing the simplest necklace to exist on that collection- Mother would be proud of you now. And she would be happy to see you opening up again.
-Do you think is enough?
-Knowing Catelyn... -she said quietly- Is perfect.
-Why did I think you disliked her? -he was confused, having had nothing but grief from his sister since declaring his intentions towards Catelyn.- Your accounts of her are very conflicting.
-I may not be as excited as Kevan about the Tully girl, but this is not about her. I am protective of you. I want you to have a chance in love again. And yes, I do think she is right for you. However I cannot help but to be protective, to think in all she can do now knowing you have feelings for her. I have high expectations for Catelyn, but even knowing her, I fear she might just be another dumb little girl.
-If she refuses me?
-She wouldn't be very wise, would she? You are the most valuable bachelor in the Seven Kingdoms that no one knew was available.
-I wasn't. -he confessed to his sister- I truly wasn't.
Now, standing in front of his bride to be, opening the little box -maybe more valuable than the actual necklace- he pulled the long and delicate golden chain from inside it. The charm had the size of a grape, and it was an expertly crafted golden lion, just like the Lannister banner. That was not much gold in that, and he was afraid of it not being enough.
-This might not be what you expected. -he placed the piece of jewellery on her hand- But I couldn't think of something better to offer you.
-Is truly beautiful, my lord. -she said, caressing the small lion with her delicate fingers.
-It belonged to my mother. -he said, making her a loss for words- And I want it to be yours now.
-Shouldn't this be with your daughter? Lady Genna, or even Saera?
-My mother left much more than this, do not worry. This however... -he captured the very delicate piece from her hand, and standing behind her, placed it on her chest. -Is precious to me, as I remember it around my mother's neck since I was a boy.
Catelyn moved her hair out of the way, revealing her neck and allowing him to fix the clasp. He couldn't resist but to touch the line of her spine and rejoicing with her sweet reaction to his touch, he turned again to look at her.
-Yes, truly precious. -he said finally, observing her smile.
- I will treasure it dearly.
Now, placing the box on her hands, and pulling them for a final kiss, he left.
Tywin knew he was to find Hoster Tully and agree on the proper way to announce the engagement. However, at this precise moment, he had to attend to more urgent matters. Alone in his chambers, he pulled down his breeches and sitting on the edge of his bed, he massaged his own masculinity until his seed oozed over his hands. He needed that, otherwise his thoughts would remain clouded, and the only thing on his mind would be his darling lady's neck and shoulders and the soft smell of her hair.
-Is more than just lust. -he whispered to himself- But the lust exists and it is strong.
After recomposing himself, Tywin went after Hoster Tully. He was glad when he found the man not at the games, as he had expected, but at a table in the large hall, sharing a drink with some of his bannermen. When he spotted Tywin, the two Lords of two of the Great Houses of the Westeros walked together to the very same garden where, less than a day ago, Tywin proposed to marry Hoster's daughter.
-I trust you to be pleased, my Lord. -Lord Hoster commented.
-Lady Catelyn is to be my wife. -Tywin confirmed.
-And I trust that my daughter made her mind clear to you.
-Indeed. We are to marry soon, in a private ceremony, at Riverrun.
-And you also are to spend time together, as she does not wish...
-To marry me with an empty heart.
The two Lords were vastly more experienced than the young lady they referred to, but neither of them could help but admire her ways.
-That heart is never empty, I can promise you that.
-We have decided to announce the engagement at tonight's feast.
-I see.
-And as you are her father and Warden of the Riverlands...
-You expect me to do it. -Lord Hoster concluded. He took a deep breath and stared at the distance, silent.- There's this one final thing, Lannister... -the two men stared at each other- There's nothing more precious to me than my daughter. Not even my own heir. She is the light of my eyes, the love of my life. And she suffered profoundly at the death of Bran. And to watch her, it almost killed me.
-Why didn't Eddard Stark married her after his brother's demise? –that had been a bothersome thought on his mind, especially with the strong northern presence around her.
-Because I couldn't allow. They both knew what was expected of them, but they also knew each other as brother and sister. And Cat knew he loved Ashara Dayne. She wanted him to be happy at least with his wife. They would have honoured the bond if I had demanded it.
-But you didn't.
-At that moment, Eddard didn't need to marry my daughter to keep my support. He was, and still is, family.
-Why are you telling me this just now? -Tywin seemed confused.
-Because there's a part Stark to Catelyn that none of us will ever be able to erase. It was not gone with Brandon's death, is not gone years afterwards. I beg the gods to allow you to learn how to respect that. That part of her life.
And with that, he left Tywin to simmer his own thoughts.
Tywin was intrigued. He surely would not be fine with "This Stark part to Catelyn" impossible to be purged. No, she was to be Lady Catelyn Lannister of Casterly Rock. Certainly it was still prevalent because no one did anything to separate her from her life that never was. He would do whatever he could so she could finally leave the North behind.
-Are you surprised? -Kevan asked, when Tywin could finally confide on him- They were engaged for the best part of six years. They were young living a long summer. Stark married Sir Arthur's sister. Robert married Cersei. And Rhaegar, Lyanna, Elia, Brandon... And so many more, are not here today to enjoy life.
-What do you think her father's intentions were on telling me that?
-He certainly hoped that you wouldn't do anything to jeopardize the relationship his House has with the North, personified on his daughter.
-And why this should matter, all these years later? Why isn't she allowed to move on?
-Because it still hurts, Ty. Think of what you have also lost, and ask yourself if you will ever be ready to fully move on from Jo.
The two things were very different. Joanna was his wife, mother of his children, the lady he loved with his entire self. There was never a moment where Joanna wasn't a constant in his life. Catelyn and Brandon Stark, at best, knew each other for a handful of years.
-Do you believe she is still intact? –Tywin conjectured, trying to find a reason as to why Hoster Tully felt the need to mention the boy.
-I don't know. -Kevan said- Her father did go out of his way to express how intense the feelings seemed to be.
-What if she isn't?
-How does this matter? –Kevan was confused.
-It should matter.
-But does it? Would you give up on your lady because she has a past no one in the whole of Westeros was oblivious of? We are no longer children, Tywin. This should not matter.
Tywin knew she would tell him the truth if he ever asked. He knew she would not lie and even her father would give him a direct answer to a direct question, but he wasn't sure he wished to know.
-When you lay with her for the first time, you will know.
-Wouldn't that be too late?
-Would it change anything? Would it matter when you would be the one inside her? In a moment you say she is too young, and in the other you complain about her past.
Tywin knew Kevan was right. No one ever insinuated, not to his ears, that Lady Catelyn held an ounce of dishonour in her past. Genna would have being the first to suggest it, but she hadn't.
-My dear brother, do us all a favour. -Kevan held the man by his shoulders- Go ready yourself, because tonight you will tell Westeros that the beautiful Catelyn Tully is to be your wife. That you won over a multitude of suitors, for the right reasons. Do not trouble yourself with the past when the future looks so bright.