Last time...

"Thor," She hesitated to ask, sadness filled her voice as her heart sank further. "what have you done?"

Chapter 125

Thor could not believe his ears! What had he done? What had he done?! Nothing! How dare…He turned to yell at the offending party, and stopped. Lady Hera was looking at him with clear disappointment, and his stomach always did uncomfortable flips when she did that; no matter how long it had been between her visits. Absently, he noted the change in her hair, and the person at her side; he too looked an awful lot like Loki. Was there something to those joking remarks of Lady Sif's that Loki was adopted? It was the power he could sense within her now that caught his attention, marvelling at how she'd gotten even stronger in her seiðr than the last time he'd talked with her.

"Lady Hera!" Thor exclaimed, instantly in better spirits. "I would be happy to meet your comrade, but I fear I am in a bit of a tight spot, and can not offer better at the moment. Is this the new brother you were trying to get back to when I made my most grave of errors?"

"No, Thor. Though he is a new brother, he was not when last we spoke." Lady Hera explained, gesturing to the boy at her side. "This is Salazar. He's…Technically, he's my twin, I think. Think magical blood adoption. It's a bit complicated."

Thor nodded, not sure why it was complicated, but felt that she had a better grasp of her circumstances than he did.

"Now, what's going on?" Lady Hera inquired, with a mixture of concern and curiosity. "If you didn't do anything, where is Mjölnir? In my last life…I don't remember a time when you and Mjölnir were apart."

Thor frowned at that, catching the words she'd most likely not meant to say. The last time they'd talked, though it had been ages since then, she'd warned him to treat the people around him better. She'd warned that she had been one of them, and that she would know if he did not. He'd been trying to do as she'd suggested, but somehow he always seemed to fail when it came to his attempts with Loki. He'd go in meaning to say one thing, and somehow it didn't sound as it should. Things always fell apart quickly after. Loki had actually stormed off after this last attempt by Thor to understand him, and had taken refuge in one of the libraries in Vanaheimr.

Lady Hera looked genuinely concerned, given that she didn't remember a time when he was without Mjölnir. So Thor told his tale, thankful that she did not stop him with questions. He knows full well that it had been folly to boast about how only he was worthy of the hammer. He'd not thought it possible that seiðr could make it so that Mjölnir was effectively trapped, forgetting that Lady Hera herself had stopped it with just a shield made of seiðr. There were a lot of things he'd not thought better about till now.

By the end of the tale, Lady Hera had her hand against her mouth. Her eyes were wide and watery, and her face was flush. He'd had no idea this tale would upset her so! But then a peel of laughter escaped her as tears fell down her face, and now Thor was thoroughly confused. There was nothing about this situation he found funny at all.

"'Tis not funny!" He objected, knowing that his face was getting red. It felt hot enough to catch fire.

"I'm sorry!" She squeaked, still laughing. "Really I am! It's just…It's just…I think I know…I think I know what this is! Hehehehe!"

Suddenly the new addition – Salazar – stilled in consideration, before speaking slowly. "Hera, surely not…"

"It has to be!" Lady Hera insisted, her eyes alight with laughter still. "I don't remember this, but that story? That story is known to us…This has to be it!"

Salazar's face twitched, and then he too held his fist against his mouth in an effort to keep the laughter from bubbling out.

"'Tis not that funny." Thor muttered, a little mulish now. He could see a little humour in the situation, but not enough to justify the level of amusement these two displayed.

…

"Heimdall, we need…" The young girl squeaked, before pressing her lips in a thin line as she struggled to repress her laughter, and made another attempt at speaking. "Heimdall, can I speak to you in private, please?"

"I am afraid there is no where else to go here that will give us privacy, but if you wish we may speak away from the group." Heimdall suggested, looking to her.

She nodded quickly, and he gestured to a little ways away, where she then jerked her fingers minutely. He knew the feeling of magic being cast on or around his person. This seemed to be a form of a privacy spell. It was both simplistic and yet highly complex. He could admit to being impressed.

"Listen. I know who stole Mjölnir, and why. I also have an idea about how to get it back without giving the thief what they want, but there's a catch." Lady Hera rushed to explain, and he waited. "It has to come from you."

Heimdall blinked, having not expected this. "Why?"

At that, she began explaining what was about to happen, and what they would need to do about it. While he could see the logic of her plan, he could not see it working with Thor's temperament. He would not take well to the idea of wearing women's clothing, which was why she had suggested Heimdall himself be the one to explain the plan. If one of his age were to suggest such a thing, Thor wouldn't go for it, thinking they would call him ergi, but a respected elder…The chances were slim that it would convince the crowned prince, but it was possible.

…

Meanwhile, Salazar was left feeling extremely uncomfortable standing with the queen of Ásgarðr and the crown prince. Thor seemed almost too preoccupied with his predicament, but not so much that he wasn't curious about him. Queen Frigga too had been quite fascinated with him, asking all manner of things. He could see why Hera liked her, but it was still strange to him for someone to show such kind interest in him. Thor seemed more inclined to ask him things like what weapon he favoured, something Salazar had avoided answering up till now.

"I don't favour a weapon, at least not a blunt weapon such as a sword or the like." Salazar finally huffed, at his wits end with the crown prince. "I favour magic, something Hera has agreed to help me further my studies in."

"Seiðr." Queen Frigga helpfully clarified when Thor furrowed his eyebrows. "I have explained to you before, as I am sure Lady Hera has as well, that other realms have different terms for it."

"It's just…You are a man!" Thor exclaimed in confusion. "Why would you choose such a weak-ah!"

Quick as a flash, Salazar had whipped out his wand and jerked the crown prince to be dangled up in the air by his ankle. Try as he might, Thor couldn't escape, though he did wriggle about greatly for his efforts. Queen Frigga only looked disappointed, but she did not come to her son's defence. This reminded Salazar of what Hera had told him of Ásgarðr, though he wondered if it was truly the whole of the realm that felt this way. His thoughts distracted him from realizing Hera and the Gatekeeper Heimdall were returning, at least until they had fully rejoined the group.

"I would ask what Thor said, but I think I already know." Hera sighed, also sounding disappointed.

"He implied I was weak for practising magic as a man." Salazar replied in confirmation, keeping his eyes and wand pointed at Thor. "Tell me something, Prince Thor. Is the Queen weak? She too practices magic."

"Yes, but she is a woma-aaaah!" Thor's protests were cut off when Salazar jerked his wand about, causing the crown prince to be shaken like a dog toy.

"Strength is strength, and power is power." Salazar hissed in anger. "If Queen Frigga is strong to practice magic, then so am I! You do realize your hammer is a magic weapon, do you not?"

"How dare-!"

"It is a weapon imbued with magic, you dull plebeian!" He snapped, before cutting off the spell, and Thor hit the floor with a thud.

"I think we're done here." Hera announced, and began to leave. "It's clear Thor doesn't want Mjölnir back, since he views it as a weakness. Perhaps it would be better to limit the time he has with the idiot four, Queen Frigga, as those words sound like their thoughts springing forth from his mouth."

Salazar glared at the boy before turning to follow her, already intrigued by what else they could get up to in this realm.

"…Wait!" Thor called out, pleading. "Please, I…I do not understand, but…I need your help…Please…I'll do anything…"

Only then did Hera stop, and a shark like grin spread across her face as she slowly turned her head just enough to look back at the young man. "Anything?"

Looking back, Thor could recognize that that had been a warning, but he'd meant what he said. He'd do anything. He just didn't expect anything to include…this. Right as he'd agreed to do anything, word had come to Heimdall that Thrymr – a minor noble of Jötunheimr – had stolen Mjölnir. The frost giant was willing to bargain, it seemed, for the hand of Frigga. As Frigga was his mother, and the queen of Ásgarðr beside, Thor took exception to this.

Lady Hera's solution – for it was far too devious to truly come from Heimdall, no matter that it was he who'd spoken the words – was for Thor to impersonate Frigga to trick Thrymr into giving back his beloved hammer. He'd taken exception to her pointing out that he and his mother were about the same height now, that he was not quite so broad shouldered as he would come to be in later years. With a bit of seiðr, and a well made dress, he could be passed off for Frigga for a short time. So here he stood on some kind of platform that Lady Hera had conjured, as measuring instruments and various pins and things floated about his person, listening as she and his mother discussed wedding dresses. It did not help that Heimdall stood nearby, keeping guard over his station as he always did, making sure no one noticed how much smaller the room seemed to be; Hera had crafted a sort of false wall as an illusion so that no one would see them working, but had warned that the illusion would shatter if someone decided to walk through it.

"This is not how I imagined I would be wedded." Thor grumbled under his breath.

"Had many opportunities to imagine such a thing?" Hera teased as she worked. His dress, and Thor still shuddered at the thought of what he'd agreed to, would be nothing short of perfection if her calculatingly fevered eyes were anything to go by. However, he was not expecting her to whip around to his mother and declare. "We're going to have to do something about the breasts!"

"The… The what?!" Thor sputtered. Hera paused in her discussion with his mother to give him a withering glare.

"Most women have tits, Thor, your mother included." Hera stated, still giving him a most evil glower. Thor's sputtering continued. "It is reasonable to assume that Thrymr at least knows this, and will be expecting such."

"But I'm a man! I do not have…I'm not…" Thor tried to argue.

"Are you or are you not about to impersonate your mother?" Hera demanded angrily, which shut him up. "I get that as her kid, you've never thought about her being a woman or a sexual being in her own right, so here's the public service announcement. She's got tits, Thor."

He most definitely did not want to think of his mother in any of those terms, and stuck to defending his honour instead.

"I will not consent to altering myself so!" Thor insisted defensively.

"I'm not talking about alter you, you dolt." Hera reminded him. "I'm talking about altering the dress!"

Oh…

With that, she turned back to Frigga. "As I was saying, we'll have to do something about the breasts. Thrymr will be expecting at least to see the shape of them under the dress. We'll work on the arse after that, I suppose."

"There are sacks of thin hide used for water. We can take those and hide them in the alterations of fabric?" Frigga suggested, her eyes holding far more amusement than Thor thought they should. "If we use the smaller ones, and adjust some of the fittings, it will not drag anything down, nor will it make it obvious that anything is amiss. Should work for the backside too."

"Mother!"

"What about the beard?" Salazar inquired.

Oh. On, no. No. No. NO. NO! NO! NO! Thor's hands immediately went to cover his beard. Why hadn't he thought about this before? It wasn't much, but he was quite proud of it, and wanted to keep it on his face! He could see Hera's predatory grin as she eyed him now, and he shivered at how much it reminded him of Loki. His brother enjoyed it when he could teach him what he called 'valuable life lessons', and they always seemed to be painful things. He did not like that they had this in common, especially when they had yet to truly meet or speak with each other, and was more than glad that they had not. His fate would be a terrible thing indeed if the two were ever to meet; for surely they would unite against him to teach him some as of yet unknown lesson.

"We could cast an illusion over it, but it would be tricky. It would have to be both a visual and textural illusion, and those are more easily broken because they require constant concentration." Hera reasoned. "We'll be covering far too much for either of us to focus on it ourselves, and I don't think placing such a charm on a bit of jewellery would be sufficient. Salazar has one, but there's not as much risk of anything affecting his as there would be for you. Are you that attached to keeping your beard? It's not like it won't grow back, you know. Is it really that important to you?"

Thor just clutched at his jawline, intent on keeping it, as it had taken almost a century just to get what little he had; her assurances that it would grow back did not comfort him in the slightest, and all he could think was 'Not the beard! Not the beard!'.

Salazar sighed in exasperation, before wondering aloud. "What about a veil?"

Thor latched onto this idea for the hopeful lifeline that it was.

"I mean…I guess?" Hera didn't seem to like this idea, but seemed willing to consider it. "It's just…the damned thing would have to be thick. He wouldn't even be able to see where he was going!"

Salazar only looks at her pointedly, and then she's giggling again, which makes Thor frown. For the life of him, he can't figure out what about all of this is funny to her. Mjölnir has once again been taken from him, his mother is being demanded as the price to be paid to get it back, and worst of all…He has to wear a dress!…At least the fabric is not uncomfortable against his skin. If he rotates from left to right just a little, the fabric swishes are fun to play with, though Hera huffs at him in annoyance. He waits until she is deep in concentration before trying it again, grinning innocently at her when she glares up at him; sometimes, 'tis the little things that are the most amusing.

Standing before the platform, Hera knew they were as ready as they were going to be. The boy wore a veil so thick he needed either Hera herself or Salazar to guide him. He'd worn flats, so as not to hinder his walking, though Hera had gamely tried to talk him into wearing a pear of stilettos she'd conjured for the occasion. She could understand their strategic value for such a mission, though she herself was not going to be wearing them. He'd understood them for the trap they were, and had denied them outright.

She had adorned herself in a resplendent dress of greens and golds, while Salazar had done the same but in wizard robes. Together, they would act as Thor's attendants. If this was to be successful, they would have to be on guard on all fronts. Thor would need to be managed, his anger kept in check until he had hammer in hand. After that, all bets would be off…if they made it that far.

"Do you think they'll notice?" Thor asked, hesitant, sounding worried; nervous, even.

Hera only smiled at him, patting him reassuringly on his forearm when she realized he couldn't see her, and replied. "Nah."

Something strange caught her attention just before Heimdall activated the BiFröst. Frigga caught her eye and winked, the movement so subtle Hera wasn't sure if she'd imagined it or not, before their surroundings were replaced by a kaleidoscope of colours. She would have asked when they arrived on Jötunheimr if Salazar had seen it too, but they were greeted by a welcome party before she could. She couldn't help feeling like something else was going on, though what that something was she couldn't yet guess. It wasn't until she rather abruptly couldn't feel the icy ground under her feet – Salazar and Thor being just a touch ahead of her – that she wondered if perhaps all was not as it seemed.

Alarm filled her when she couldn't feel solid ground beneath her feet, and she plummeted down, unable to even cry out. Reaching out did no good. There was nothing to grab onto, nothing to stop her fall. She seemed to be sliding down on a surface she couldn't touch, a magical air current of some kind maybe. She couldn't begin to guess. God of magic though she may be, she knew magic itself could still affect her as easily as it could anyone else.

When she finally came to a stop, she found herself more than a little disoriented, and it took some time before her eyes cleared enough to where she could attempt to stand. When she could, she stood and attempted to smooth out her dress. It was tattered and ripped in places about the bottom, though she imagined the rips and tears were all over; an easy fix. A bit of magic and it was as good as new, and she began looking around the place she now found herself in. It was strange that she wasn't injured in any way, as if whatever magic that had brought her here had taken more care with her body than her dress.

Ice. Everywhere she looked, she was surrounded by ice. Her fingers were turning blue, and try as she might they wouldn't return to her normal shade. The blue travelled slowly, making its way over the rest of her, till she was fully blue; raised lines, circlet of horns, red eyes, and all. Inwardly, Hera began to panic. If she couldn't manage to turn back before she found her way back up to the surface, there would be chaos. While she wasn't opposed to chaos in general, this would not be beneficial in getting Thor's hammer back.

"…Loptr?"

She whirled around to see a Jötunn, daggers dropping into her hands out of habit, though she realized this was someone she recognized. Laufey stood at the far side of the room, at an entrance Hera hadn't noticed before, looking far less emaciated than they had been before; certainly looked far more androgynous than the being she remembered meeting as 'Loki'. The lines were the same, the ridges along the collarbones, as well as the three at the top of their head. The hope in those ruby eyes hurt, because Hera knew she'd have to crush it. Hera wasn't Loki, wasn't Loptr.

"Your lines…you must be, but…Fáurbati swore…" Laufey continued, hesitant in their steps as they inched closer. "He mentioned a potion, a time your soul was this young…You are Loptr, and you are not."

Hera nodded, thankful she wouldn't have to explain. It did make her wonder just how much Frigga had shared with Fáurbati, and thus he with Laufey. Their soothing tones as they spoke did little to ease Hera's nerves, and she continued clinching the daggers as if they were a lifeline. The being before her seemed…kind…in a way that the Laufey Loki remembered did not. Something was wrong here, and Hera wasn't sure what to do anymore, though one thing was clear.

"You ordered Thrymr to steal Mjölnir," Hera accused, narrowing her eyes at the Jötunn before her. "didn't you?"

It wasn't a question, not really.

"Organized it with Queen Frigga." Laufey admitted, laughing lightly, delight in their eyes. "I am well aware 'tis not she Thrymr has on his arm just now."

"What do you want?" Hera demanded, raising her daggers now. They'd come at her prompting, though they were not her main weapons; Laufey did not yet need to know what else she could do. "My name is Hera. I am not your Loptr, not anymore, not after…Did Frigga explain who he was? That he's still alive? What he thinks of the Jötnar because she cannot correct him? That he becomes me? That he chooses such a fate? You are not as he remembered you being, and I don't know that I can trust you. Do you understand that?"

This more than anything seemed to hurt Laufey, if their grimace were anything to go by.

"I want…I want to get to know you." Laufey tried to explain, grief stricken by her words. "Please…I will…We would do anything…if it means you'll give Fáurbati and I a chance…Please."

Hera was shaking, cursing Frigga in her mind, knowing the woman could not have warned her if she'd wanted to truly give them this chance.

"Why…" Hera tried, failed and tried again. "Why did you abandon him in the temple?"

"…What?"

"It's what he'll think when he finally figures out what he is, because it's what Oðin believes happened." Hera continued, her voice shrill as she shouted. "Why did you leave him there?!"

"…Hera…" Laufey tried, seeming to test the name in their mouth. "Where else would we have placed that which we cherished most?"

Now it was Hera's turn. "…What?"

"We were at war." Laufey emphasized. "We placed the Casket of Ancient Winters with him, deep in the temple, surrounded by warriors to keep them safe, in a place we believed to be protected."

Hera's mind was clouded as thoughts raced through her mind, overwhelmed as she was with what she'd just learned; the daggers she'd held clattering to the ground.

"The temple was supposed to be safe, was supposed to be protected." Laufey continued to explain, inching ever closer, though still not trying to reach out and touch her. "We would not have…We did not abandon him…and we will not abandon you."

AN: partially inspired by Mishaesque, though I could not find original source. Look up Thor wedding meme, and it's the first image that pops up lol